Speaker 1: No, come on, come on this episode of the Heat Check.
Speaker 1: While everybody is off eating turkey and mashed potatoes and
Speaker 1: debating on whether mac and cheese is a good side
Speaker 1: dish or it's a trash side dish or not a
Speaker 1: side dish at all. I am here in the studio,
Speaker 1: in the lab. Shall we say for you? It wasn't easy, folks,
Speaker 1: It was not easy. I kicked and screamed like a
Speaker 1: little baby today did not But here we are giving
Speaker 1: you Thanksgiving dessert, because that's the kind of philanthropic bitch
Speaker 1: I am. Some topics. One may be the biggest NBA
Speaker 1: story of the year. Is Kevin Durant actually a snake
Speaker 1: hiding in plain sight? Does he have grayscale? The internet
Speaker 1: can't get enough of it. We are also going to
Speaker 1: break down Jeff Green going into one of the most
Speaker 1: exclusive almost going into one of the most exclusive clubs
Speaker 1: in the NBA, but of course Andre Drummond had to
Speaker 1: fuck it up. And finally, I am going to bitch
Speaker 1: about the subject that everybody knows is bullshit. How the
Speaker 1: NBA is fucking with my money? Past the gravy brock
Speaker 1: and drop that motherfucking I have a serious question is
Speaker 1: it possible that we have a snake living amongst us,
Speaker 1: pretending possibly to be the best scorer in the world
Speaker 1: in the association, It appears what was an innocuous tweet
Speaker 1: turns out to actually be evidence in what might suggest
Speaker 1: that at least one extremity of Kevin Durant might be
Speaker 1: actually a snake, a reptile, a reptilian disaster hit happening
Speaker 1: on Twitter. I mean, it's very rare to see Kevin
Speaker 1: Durant really getting his feelings like he gets in his
Speaker 1: feelings here and there about the Golden State thing, whether
Speaker 1: he bought the rings or not, whether he's actually a
Speaker 1: bad guy because he didn't stay in Oklahoma City. But
Speaker 1: he knows that he's the best, right he knows that
Speaker 1: he's in the pantheon of really great basketball players. What
Speaker 1: he doesn't know, and I'm sure he's insecure about, is
Speaker 1: his looks. Like we all kind of are. We find
Speaker 1: little things about ourselves we don't like. I'm on my
Speaker 1: seventh round and in Visiline right now, so you can
Speaker 1: tell what my insecurities are. It's literally the fifth refinement
Speaker 1: to try to fix this one fucking tooth, So I
Speaker 1: get it. Kevin Durant, Like if someone's like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna dissect her mouth structure, which we have, but
Speaker 1: we are on picking about Kevin Durant. And so the
Speaker 1: story now goes as follows. Slam kicks. Uh zoomed in
Speaker 1: on a photo of Kevin durant shoes. It was all
Speaker 1: supposed to be a nice tweet about how sick Kevin
Speaker 1: Durant's new signature shoes are. It was quote, you can
Speaker 1: say a lot with them saying what a caption, You
Speaker 1: can say a lot without saying anything at all. And
Speaker 1: of course, in the age of the Internet, in the
Speaker 1: age of sending photos to people with the ability to
Speaker 1: zoom in the internet, zoomed in, they zoom zoom, shake
Speaker 1: the room, and everybody was like, what the fuck is
Speaker 1: up with Kevin Durant's ankle. There was this very small
Speaker 1: amount of skin between his legs leave and his sock.
Speaker 1: Clearly he knew that that was gonna be the outfit
Speaker 1: choice because he didn't decide, or hadn't in a long time,
Speaker 1: decided to moisturi eyes. Uh, and oh my god, it
Speaker 1: looked like the skin had been shall we say, uh
Speaker 1: neglected NBA Twitter came in and burned a house down
Speaker 1: for how parched his skin was. Bam out of Bio
Speaker 1: found it. Center Power Forward of the Miami Heat found
Speaker 1: it so alarming that he had to start a group
Speaker 1: chat just for that. He sent it to Draymond Green
Speaker 1: to be like, hey, Fam, you see this shit. This
Speaker 1: is out of hand. Probably a lot of crying emojis,
Speaker 1: like probably some gifts, Probably some crying emoji. This is
Speaker 1: what Draymond Green had to say about it.
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ came. Bam sent me a picture said there's
Speaker 2: no way ks this ash, and I said, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: And then I clicked on the link that Bam sent me.
Speaker 2: That was even ash, that was fucking scales and like,
Speaker 2: I mean, it looked like you could go fucking skin
Speaker 2: him like an alligator and take it to the store
Speaker 2: and sell it. Like that's how bad. That's how bad
Speaker 2: it was. I have not talked to Kevin yet. I
Speaker 2: am looking forward to calling him today and getting his appear.
Speaker 2: I know he gonna say, fuck y'all, Uh, why y'all
Speaker 2: worried about my ankles? I already know what his response
Speaker 2: is gonna be to my brother Rich Kleimban Pick the
Speaker 2: lotion brand that y'all want to endorse and go partner
Speaker 2: with them, because that'll be an incredible story if Kevin
Speaker 2: just comes out the next game incredibly low shit, you know,
Speaker 2: with skin looking impeccable.
Speaker 1: I love to see it, Oh my god, I'd love
Speaker 1: to see it. And Twitter some of the best I
Speaker 1: would like to go through some of the best hits
Speaker 1: of Twitter. I scanned the internet for some of the
Speaker 1: funniest notable jokes. One was KD lay so ashy, I
Speaker 1: thought it was part of the sock. Another one I
Speaker 1: seen bros fresh out of prison that weren't as ashy
Speaker 1: as KD was on National TV. KD being that ashy
Speaker 1: is hilarious just for the simple fact that it's probably
Speaker 1: the ashiest anybody has ever been on National TV. Here's
Speaker 1: my best part. Had this sock came down any further further,
Speaker 1: they probably would have cut to commercial. Oh my god. Truthfully,
Speaker 1: in Kd's defense, it was it looked worse because it
Speaker 1: was tattooed. If it was just raw skin, no black
Speaker 1: tattoo ink, making it look like he had a disease
Speaker 1: on that thing. Coupled by the fact you're like, god,
Speaker 1: damn is that an alligator foot on there? Like, come on,
Speaker 1: it looked like the Black plague hit them kind of
Speaker 1: like it was like, ooh, do you need to go
Speaker 1: and get that shit looked at? So how do I
Speaker 1: know that Kevin Durant was upset about it? Draymond was right.
Speaker 1: He literally was like, fuck y'all. He got on Twitter
Speaker 1: and tweeted, I'm about to pull my y'all broke card,
Speaker 1: which anyone who doesn't make forty one million dollars, if
Speaker 1: you're considering them broke, I'm sorry, then you're just an
Speaker 1: elite company about five people. He's like, I'm about to
Speaker 1: pull my y'all broke card in a second, fuck y'all.
Speaker 1: So to me, this feels similar to like when you
Speaker 1: go through puberty and your friends find that fact out,
Speaker 1: Like when a young woman starts to develop boobs and
Speaker 1: like you're not quite boobs yet, but you're not quite
Speaker 1: flat chested yet, and your friends are like, yo, what's
Speaker 1: up with your nipples? Bro? Like they literally just like
Speaker 1: I can see your nips and they all get in
Speaker 1: unison only that was Twitter, Like that was millions of
Speaker 1: people on Twitter coming after Kate. It's like it's bad
Speaker 1: enough Katie that you never comb your hair fucking lotion
Speaker 1: your raspy ass legs fam oh, and then the kid
Speaker 1: gets so sad. He gets like furious and he's crying
Speaker 1: at the same time because he has no I it's
Speaker 1: a collective bullying move and he gets so furious, but
Speaker 1: he knows it's true. He can't do shit about it.
Speaker 1: He tries to like say something mean back that literally
Speaker 1: hits nowhere, doesn't land at all. He takes his ball
Speaker 1: and goes home because he's got the ball, and ever
Speaker 1: he's like, Kevin, come back. We just playing. We just
Speaker 1: playing Kevin, We just playing, you know, Jerkin having motherfucker
Speaker 1: get Kevin. Only that guy makes forty one million dollars
Speaker 1: a year and he's one of the best pure scores
Speaker 1: in history to me, Top five story of the year.
Speaker 1: Like millions of people tweeting about how ashy Kevin Durant was,
Speaker 1: Like literally it was trending. Kevin kd ashy that has
Speaker 1: everything that to me has everything. We now know also
Speaker 1: that kd probably he's in the group chat too with
Speaker 1: with Draymond and Bam, all the people that played Olympic
Speaker 1: basketball together in the bubble of Tokyo just to ship
Speaker 1: talk other players. I'd love to know what was in
Speaker 1: that group chat. Uh it being Kevin Durant, who also
Speaker 1: has his own podcast, we know this story is not
Speaker 1: going anywhere. I know he's probably going to say something
Speaker 1: about it. I'm surprised nobody asked him about it at
Speaker 1: the postgame podium. Hey Kevin Durant, Uh, you know lotion
Speaker 1: when you get a shower or what? What's your post?
Speaker 1: I should just like troll them, just like, Hey Kevin
Speaker 1: Trista crik Odyssey, just want to know what your post
Speaker 1: short shower routine is? Uh wash, sup? So soap up,
Speaker 1: dry off? And then what and then what? And then what?
Speaker 1: Oh man? How great? How great would that be if
Speaker 1: Kevin Durant and Draymond restart the feud because Draymond got
Speaker 1: on a podcast and said it looked like he could
Speaker 1: sell his leg skin and they could turn him into shoes.
Speaker 1: Golden State plays Brooklyn January twenty ninth. Expect Draymond to
Speaker 1: come to the arena with a super sized bottle of
Speaker 1: Jurggins just to get it under Kd's snake skin. You
Speaker 1: did I know.
Speaker 3: Almobi one when out walk golf I feel like I
Speaker 3: got to be it chill you now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, how about it? On one that they talk about.
Speaker 2: On me, the one they talk about, the one they
Speaker 2: and the may Nuts.
Speaker 1: The funniest statistic in the league is called a trillion,
Speaker 1: probably the most rare stat in professional basketball. Uh. It's
Speaker 1: when you get exactly no mentions in a box score,
Speaker 1: none zero, no points, no assists, no rebounds, no steals,
Speaker 1: no blocks, no turnovers, nothing, nothing, just twelve zeros in
Speaker 1: a row. A trillion. Twelve zeros a trillion. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: so legendary that Mark Titus actually built his career over
Speaker 1: around that Club trillion brand. He has a podcast, Club Trillion,
Speaker 1: his handle on Twitter Club trillion after all of the
Speaker 1: zeros that he got at the end of the bench
Speaker 1: at Ohio State. He was there for four years. He
Speaker 1: was at Ohio State, fifteenth man on the bench. Incredible,
Speaker 1: kind of like an anomaly on its own. Like you
Speaker 1: go four years and you still don't go up to
Speaker 1: fourteenth or thirteenth. They're still that bad than in a
Speaker 1: D one program. They hang let you hang around. You're
Speaker 1: a glorified towel boy at that point. But you don't
Speaker 1: get DMPs. You are in the game. You play minutes,
Speaker 1: but you don't contribute anything to society nothing, zero absolute zeros.
Speaker 1: And he had in that time exactly nine points in
Speaker 1: his four years at Ohio State, four seasons, d one
Speaker 1: athlete and many many many trillions, many trillions. So Jeff Green,
Speaker 1: Jeff Green is no Mark Titus. Jeff Green is about
Speaker 1: to play his one thousandth NBA game. This guy has
Speaker 1: attempted ten thousand, three hundred and thirty two shots to
Speaker 1: date in the fifteen seasons, playing for eleven teams. All
Speaker 1: I have to say, like, Jeff Green's been an elite
Speaker 1: athlete for a long time, in high pressure moments for
Speaker 1: a long ass time. Like he's been in the league
Speaker 1: doing things. But you know how it goes. In Philadelphia's
Speaker 1: game against Denver, Jeff Green, Denver nugget played twenty three
Speaker 1: minutes and recorded exactly one rebound, nothing, nothing else, zip, zero, nada.
Speaker 1: He took exactly zero shots. He didn't get a block,
Speaker 1: didn't get a steal, not an assist, not a turnover,
Speaker 1: didn't even commit a foul, did not even commit one
Speaker 1: foul in twenty three minutes. That's pretty rare to do.
Speaker 1: The only statistical contribution. Contribution that he had in almost
Speaker 1: a half a basketball game was a rebound, one rebound
Speaker 1: that fell into his lap because fucking Andre Drummond missed
Speaker 1: his free throw. We were so close to seeing an
Speaker 1: NBA trillion, Jeff Green, Fucking Andre Drumming that trillion should
Speaker 1: have been yours. Jeff Green. I do not know how
Speaker 1: I can express how hard it is to play meaningful
Speaker 1: minutes of NBA basketball and literally do nothing, not even
Speaker 1: a turnover. Twenty three minutes and you did nothing statistically zero,
Speaker 1: Like you played a half of basketball and almost contributed
Speaker 1: in no way that anyone It was almost like you
Speaker 1: weren't even there. Only I know that people are gonna
Speaker 1: give me the well trust, well, actually trust He was
Speaker 1: a plus thirteen, all right, so we'll go yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: Stats don't tell you everything. He played defense, he said, screens,
Speaker 1: he worked his way around some picks. He even deflected
Speaker 1: a pass or two. He was minus one in the
Speaker 1: game that the Sixers lost by fourteen, So he was
Speaker 1: good on the floor statistically then when he was off
Speaker 1: the floor. But come on, now, we were one. Andre
Speaker 1: Drummond made free throw away from Jeff Green, joining the
Speaker 1: most exclusive club, the Trillionaires Club. And I don't think
Speaker 1: I can possibly convey how sad I am about that.
Speaker 1: Like I wanted that for Jeff. I wanted him to
Speaker 1: go into a rarefy. It's like the uh, what's that?
Speaker 1: The Mile High Club. It's like that, only worse, you
Speaker 1: know less, definitely more rare, but worse less, worse, worse time,
Speaker 1: probably a worse time. We were so close to seeing
Speaker 1: so incredibly rare that I would have hung my hat
Speaker 1: on for Jeff Green. Kind of a dope club I
Speaker 1: could love to see, like a Marked Titus Jeff Green
Speaker 1: podcast collab. Maybe saw merch with Jeff Green's face. It's
Speaker 1: like Club Trillion. And of course the funniest thing to
Speaker 1: me was that, of course Andre Drummond was the fly
Speaker 1: in the ointment, as he always is. God damn it, jigga,
Speaker 1: I don't like it if it don't gleam, blame in
Speaker 1: the hell with the Christ.
Speaker 3: But the money ain't to put it down. Half of
Speaker 3: a dog that's locked in the bring. When you hit
Speaker 3: the bricks blue with money, ain't a dang y'all want
Speaker 3: to bloss We burn it up, drop a little paper baby,
Speaker 3: chaws it up. You see licking on your pim bit.
Speaker 3: Turn it up.
Speaker 1: You see the money ain't The NBA thinks we're JD.
Speaker 1: They think we don't. They think we just have all
Speaker 1: the money. Money ain't a thing. Yeah, it's like we're
Speaker 1: jay Z and JD and we're skate skirting our lambos
Speaker 1: when you hit the bricks new whips. Money ain't a thing,
Speaker 1: y'all want to floss with No. Money is not not
Speaker 1: a thing. Money is actually a thing for me, NBA,
Speaker 1: Like we need to talk about it, NBA. I got
Speaker 1: a beef. I have a beef. I have lost so
Speaker 1: much money that I definitely don't have to be losing.
Speaker 1: It's not like I'm just throwing out dollars out of
Speaker 1: my fucking ferrari my whip. Like this is not real
Speaker 1: life for me. Come on now. So I was on
Speaker 1: bet MGM the other night debating, just vacillating, puzzled on
Speaker 1: whether I should take Portland minus six and a half
Speaker 1: against the Denver Nuggets. What so Michael Porter Junior is out?
Speaker 1: I know it. He's out indefinitely. Jimal Murray out indefinitely.
Speaker 1: What about Yo Kichen? I'm looking I'm looking on Twitter?
Speaker 1: What am I gonna do. I'm waivering. Is Ian is
Speaker 1: he out? Is Ian is he out? He's questionable. I'm
Speaker 1: looking on Twitter, I'm looking on stat mus, I'm looking
Speaker 1: on NBA Fantasy Draft dfs, this, this, this, literally, I'm scouring,
Speaker 1: like do I take this fucking bets or do I not?
Speaker 1: Then all of a sudden, we see Yokich on the
Speaker 1: TV warming up line moves the four. I'm like, all right, well,
Speaker 1: he's definitely gonna play. I'm stand away, stand away from
Speaker 1: this game. Nope, comes ends up getting ruled out two
Speaker 1: minutes before game time. Same thing ends up happening with
Speaker 1: the MAVs and Luca against the Clippers. Same night, a
Speaker 1: d also against the Knicks was ruled out. All you
Speaker 1: saw boomed sickness. He's sicky, he's sicky. Oh he's ruled
Speaker 1: out with the flu non covids's sicky, sicky, And then nope,
Speaker 1: motherfucker played that game. Play that game. Yes he did.
Speaker 1: And that's when I saw this tweet. You know, I
Speaker 1: had a spiritual moment when I saw this tweet. It said,
Speaker 1: it was almost like I felt it the moment it
Speaker 1: was tweeted, like, oh my god, someone got inside of
Speaker 1: my brain inside of my soul and tweeted this out
Speaker 1: before I could even properly communicate this. This is what
Speaker 1: he said. The NBA needs to be better with the
Speaker 1: injury deadlines. Still no word if ad is gonna play.
Speaker 1: Also no clue about Luca. How does the NBA expect
Speaker 1: people to wager on games? Fucking right, Jason McIntyre, This
Speaker 1: shit right here, hits hard, This right here. This is
Speaker 1: why people hate betting on the NBA. This is why
Speaker 1: the NFL has a ten page document on injury reports,
Speaker 1: how to report them, when to report them, what fines
Speaker 1: you get if you don't report them in correct order,
Speaker 1: correct timeliness, and factually this is the NBA's policy, the
Speaker 1: whole policy for them. Now have ten Like listen, ten
Speaker 1: page document versus this a little blurb that I'm about
Speaker 1: to tell you on a thirty minute podcast. Twenty twenty one.
Speaker 1: Twenty twenty two season, NBA teams must report information concerning
Speaker 1: player injuries illnesses in the rest for NBA games by
Speaker 1: five pm Local time on the day before a game
Speaker 1: local time. What do you mean that's nine p come
Speaker 1: on other than the day of a back to back,
Speaker 1: teams must designate a participation status and identify a specific injury,
Speaker 1: illness or potential instance of a player resting. For any
Speaker 1: player whose participation in the game might be affected by
Speaker 1: some injury, illness or rest for the second game of
Speaker 1: a back to back, teams must report the above injury
Speaker 1: information by one pm local time the day of the game.
Speaker 1: Reporters reports are updated on a continuous basis throughout the day.
Speaker 1: That's a lie, no, they're not. The problem, though, is
Speaker 1: that the NBA has an inordinate amount of late game scratches,
Speaker 1: such as Nikola Jokic against the Blazers. So this problem,
Speaker 1: to me is even more exacerbated and magnified by the
Speaker 1: age of COVID really due to the disease, not only
Speaker 1: that itself, but the wonky schedule that created so many
Speaker 1: fucking back to backs for us. They get special rules
Speaker 1: for reporting things like load management. You don't have to
Speaker 1: report load management until the day of but this time
Speaker 1: because of this thing. Not to mention what happens if
Speaker 1: you get like a last minute close contact, what happens
Speaker 1: if you get the last minute close inconclusive test for
Speaker 1: COVID late gain scratch? All of this means, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's bullshit. It's bullshit. I've lost so much money on this.
Speaker 1: All of this means that the NBA has become one
Speaker 1: of the most unpredictable sports to bet on, which means
Speaker 1: the worst bet sports to bet on. Like I like
Speaker 1: particular predictability with how things are going to go for me.
Speaker 1: The Lakers recently scratched Ady and Brawn late, less than
Speaker 1: an hour before game time, and the line moved seven
Speaker 1: fucking points. That's a lot. They just they just take
Speaker 1: it right off the board too. You don't even see it.
Speaker 1: Then you see it comes back up no eight points more,
Speaker 1: You're like, whoa, yikes, Blazers four point favors. If you
Speaker 1: get that shit early and then something turns around, you
Speaker 1: are in bad, bad shape, bad bad shape. Blazer's four
Speaker 1: point favorites against the Nuggets until yokich Win's completely scratched,
Speaker 1: the line moved very quickly to eleven eight points. Are
Speaker 1: you serious? A lot of times you're basically betting, not
Speaker 1: just on a spread or a total, but whether like
Speaker 1: someone like Embiid is going to play or not. Like
Speaker 1: that's an easy way to get burned. Embiad's pretty fucking
Speaker 1: important to a team's success. Don't you think the only
Speaker 1: thing we can try to do. This is where it
Speaker 1: gets insane. This is where it's like like, hey, who's
Speaker 1: in the arena right now? Like, oh, some random guy
Speaker 1: on Twitter's like, hey, uh, I'm in section two thirty two.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at Nicolai okicch right now. He's got the
Speaker 1: green bands around both knees. He's doing Oklahoma drills and yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. But literally, those band drills, those band drills
Speaker 1: are only designated, from my professional opinion, as a rehab drill,
Speaker 1: not a pregame warm up. So in my estimation, Nicole
Speaker 1: Okitch is out, and it's like do I trust Mark
Speaker 1: Nuggets fan two one two one Mile High City? I
Speaker 1: don't know, Like, is he fucking with me? Does he
Speaker 1: follow every bedding account? She's trying to get some cloud?
Speaker 1: What are you up to? Mark? You know? What is
Speaker 1: your angle? Here? Is he sweaty? How sweaty is he? Ad?
Speaker 1: Looks pretty sweaty? Is Oh? That means he's gonna play
Speaker 1: ads in not taking the bet. I'm staying away. I mean,
Speaker 1: come on now, that would never happen in the NFL. Never.
Speaker 1: I don't have JD and Jay z money. Money is
Speaker 1: a thing for me. Money is absolutely a thing for me,
Speaker 1: and this is why fuck the NBA. Fuck the NBA
Speaker 1: when it comes to betting. I'm out. Don't bother to
Speaker 1: note that I have ten bets on the Sleep tonight,
Speaker 1: but just fuck them because they have a long way
Speaker 1: to go before starting tomorrow. Diet starts Monday. NBA betting
Speaker 1: diet starts Monday after Thanksgiving because they have a long
Speaker 1: fucking way to go before the NBA can take the
Speaker 1: throne away from the Shield when it comes to bets.
Speaker 1: That's all the time that we have for the heat Check.
Speaker 1: Be back Monday evening to recap everything that went over
Speaker 1: happened over the holiday weekend. I hope you guys have
Speaker 1: a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving. No yelling at your siblings or
Speaker 1: at that crazy fucking uncle or that aunt that wants
Speaker 1: to talk about politics. Stay the fuck away, listen to
Speaker 1: the heat check. Lots to be thankful for, Stay covid
Speaker 1: for you guys, Do not forget to follow us on
Speaker 1: social at this heat check and at Tristan Creek on TikTok.
Speaker 1: We'll see your money bubble.
Speaker 3: Hard and the double low flashing the rings with the
Speaker 3: window crack bag. Money ain't the thame jigger. I don't
Speaker 3: like it if its own gleam, flame and the hell
Speaker 3: on Christ because the money ain't a take down hard
Speaker 3: from a dog that's lopped in the thing when you
Speaker 3: hit the brinks new whipth money ain't the tang. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I wanted to get off.
Speaker 2: The dust on the ball.
Speaker 1: We burn it out, we drop the pile, its offs
Speaker 1: it up, turn it out.
Speaker 3: See the money ain't the bag. Rock rock on rack
Speaker 3: rock right
Speaker 2: Right, h