Speaker 1: What's up. It is lip service that I'm Angela Ye,
Speaker 1: I'm Stephanie Santiago.
Speaker 2: I'm Jazz and the Brands, I'm Laura Mora, and I'm
Speaker 2: Keanu La Day, Keanna La Day.
Speaker 1: I like your eyebrows, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: I take prid in my eyebrows.
Speaker 1: It looks really good.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: That's the look now too, because I feel like it's a.
Speaker 4: I did minds fluffy today to.
Speaker 5: Hers are Stephanie's are a little but not all the
Speaker 5: way hers a little.
Speaker 1: Up and then yeah, through a lot of phases, remember
Speaker 1: when really thin narrows.
Speaker 3: Yes, that was not my era. That wasn't for me.
Speaker 1: You are their eyebrows on.
Speaker 4: I'm like my mom.
Speaker 5: My mom had really thin. Now they're feeling a little bit,
Speaker 5: but her eye are thin.
Speaker 3: In Miami, they used to call it the chunga eyebrows
Speaker 3: A tongua.
Speaker 4: What does tongue mean?
Speaker 5: It's like a little something offensive, a bit offensive.
Speaker 1: Sorry I said it then, Kiana La Day, this is
Speaker 1: your first time up here, so a toast to you. Cheers.
Speaker 3: I don't drink water. Cheers.
Speaker 1: You've never drank never in my life. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: My parents gave me one sip of non alcoholic beer
Speaker 3: and non alcoholic wine when I was like twelve, and
Speaker 3: I was like, this shit is disgusting, never tasting it again,
Speaker 3: and you meant it, I really meant it. Also, just
Speaker 3: like trauma when it comes to like alcoholism and shit. Okay,
Speaker 3: I was just like, I've seen what all the shit does, right,
Speaker 3: I'm good, understandable. What about smoking or anything? Nothing, just mushrooms.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's enough. You just microdosed for the first time,
Speaker 1: Jasmine a second time, both times with me.
Speaker 5: Anything. Do you smoke weed occasionally?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 4: So not a lot?
Speaker 5: Yeah, not a lot? Okay, not a lot.
Speaker 3: I feel like I've well, Christine she smokes a lot
Speaker 3: of weed, and I always call her out my interviews.
Speaker 3: It's so funny. No one even knows she's there. I'm like, Christine,
Speaker 3: she smokes, Yeah, she smokes a lot, so she never
Speaker 3: feels it. Is that.
Speaker 1: Okay, So that's the thing because I don't really smoke,
Speaker 1: and I did it too, and I mean I've done
Speaker 1: shrooms plenty.
Speaker 5: Of The thing is I think for me, if I
Speaker 5: would have, we did like half of a like kind
Speaker 5: of like a gummy and then we did other half.
Speaker 5: I think if I did it together, like then I
Speaker 5: probably would have felt it.
Speaker 1: Right, we're being cautious. It was a microdose of a
Speaker 1: micro dose.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I think you could also. I feel like
Speaker 3: the sugar might.
Speaker 1: Like cancel it out because it was a gummy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because when I went to they were saying, like,
Speaker 3: as soon as you eat something sugary, like if you're
Speaker 3: having a bad trip, drink juice, because as soon as
Speaker 3: you have something sugary, it starts bringing your come up down.
Speaker 4: Okay, So what do you think is the best form
Speaker 4: of mushrooms, like the chocolate or just the regular straight
Speaker 4: from the plant.
Speaker 3: Like the first time I did it, it was tea,
Speaker 3: which I really loved because it hits you like kind
Speaker 3: of slow, and then you can just drink more throughout
Speaker 3: the process if you feel like you can handle it.
Speaker 3: I loved that. I feel like also my body was
Speaker 3: really sententive to it because I had never done nothing.
Speaker 3: But then I like just eating it too.
Speaker 1: I like, I like eating it. They taste a little fun.
Speaker 3: They do you like mushrooms? I do.
Speaker 1: I've been doing them. And when people acted like there
Speaker 1: was something.
Speaker 3: Before it was cool.
Speaker 5: She was doing it before, it was cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when people were acting like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is so bad, and then now everyone's here.
Speaker 2: We are, I'm ready to try it. I tried it
Speaker 2: with in Miami. It was a little I was nervous.
Speaker 2: I think she gave me a micro yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think anything you try, like try a little
Speaker 1: bit to see how it affects you, because you don't
Speaker 1: want to overdo it. You rather add on than have
Speaker 1: to be like I'm never doing this again, dear God, please.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And that's what that's my biggest fear. I'm like,
Speaker 5: what if I start crying a lot?
Speaker 4: But I feel like mushrooms does not.
Speaker 5: What you're right.
Speaker 1: It made me cry when same time.
Speaker 3: Was it therapeutic or was it like you were scared?
Speaker 1: No, I was laughing so hard.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 2: Because they say, whatever emotions you feel in at that
Speaker 2: moment or however, that's why you have to be in
Speaker 2: the right environment with the right people.
Speaker 4: That's like lsc But like mushrooms just makes you see
Speaker 4: like purple lights and stuff.
Speaker 3: Do you ever write, perform, or record while you're Oh
Speaker 3: my god, I actually have the best story for that.
Speaker 3: So there's a song at the very end of my
Speaker 3: album called Magic Perfect magic mushrooms. It's called magic and
Speaker 3: it's very like mystical and like hopeful. And it was
Speaker 3: so great because that day I had taken a fuck
Speaker 3: ton of mushrooms and I went with my girls to
Speaker 3: Manhattan Beach and we went and I like, it's cute, yeah,
Speaker 3: And we got on a boat and we went dolphin watching.
Speaker 3: So we were high as fuck watching the dolphin swimming
Speaker 3: on this boat, like sitting at the very edge. It
Speaker 3: was so beautiful. And then right after that, I went
Speaker 3: to the studio and saying the songs magical. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: never had a better experience.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had sex sunchrooms?
Speaker 3: You know what's funny. Every time I've tried to do that,
Speaker 3: I fall asleep. But yeah, because I'm like in bed
Speaker 3: and then if I'm really high, I just start like meditating.
Speaker 3: I just get into this meditative space and then I
Speaker 3: just get distracted by that and I don't even make it.
Speaker 1: Man, he's like, yes, he's about to go down.
Speaker 3: I know, right, I'll be Sad'd be really sad.
Speaker 1: Well, let's talk about the new album that you have out.
Speaker 1: And now that's how you post. Sometimes you got to
Speaker 1: face yourself. And then this album you are taking some accountability.
Speaker 1: I mean we got it right before this started, but
Speaker 1: bitter bitch, Okay, that's accountability right there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I.
Speaker 1: Said title, I said, she got to be talking about somebody.
Speaker 3: Else, you know. I just like I really wanted to
Speaker 3: say I actually have a good story about that too.
Speaker 3: I really wanted to just say, like you, I don't
Speaker 3: give a fuck about you. I give a fuck about
Speaker 3: like whatever. The remnants of whatever you did to me
Speaker 3: is like I still feel that shit. It's trauma that
Speaker 3: I'm like getting over and I'm just bitter about it.
Speaker 3: And I went to brunch with my ex oh after
Speaker 3: we broke up, like a year after we broke up,
Speaker 3: and he was asking if there were songs about him
Speaker 3: on the album again, and I said yep, And I
Speaker 3: played him that one and he was like he was
Speaker 3: like listening to it and he's like, it's kind of
Speaker 3: a bot though.
Speaker 1: You know, I think it's very telling when you're with somebody,
Speaker 1: if you feel like you're not acting like yourself, that
Speaker 1: means that that was like a bad experience, because sometimes
Speaker 1: when you're like, why am I a bitter bitch right now?
Speaker 1: Like why am I doing things that I normally wouldn't
Speaker 1: do and so out of character, but not in a
Speaker 1: good way, but in like a negative way. You know,
Speaker 1: I've had has everybody here had an experience where they
Speaker 1: dated somebody and it was shitty because here you are
Speaker 1: like going through phones and you know, doing shit that
Speaker 1: You're like, this is not even me? Why am I
Speaker 1: acting like this?
Speaker 5: I feel like I don't know if it's not me,
Speaker 5: But it's like I feel like sometimes people or we
Speaker 5: allow people to pull certain things out of us that
Speaker 5: don't need to be out. They just need to be
Speaker 5: chilling in the cut sometimes.
Speaker 3: Right, I've never been through nobody's phone. Good for you,
Speaker 3: I have never told me to do it. Did you
Speaker 3: find something for me? It's like, as soon as I'm
Speaker 3: going through your phone, I don't I already don't trust you. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so like there's something wrong there. But also I know
Speaker 3: if I go through your phone, I'm going to find
Speaker 3: something because I'm looking for it to justify why I
Speaker 3: went through your phone. It's like you talking shit because
Speaker 3: we just got in a fight or something. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm going to find that. I mean, it was that long.
Speaker 1: I haven't done that in so long, but I definitely
Speaker 1: have like, I probably haven't done that in maybe like
Speaker 1: eight years, but I just know how hard it was
Speaker 1: because I remember going through an email my ex left
Speaker 1: his email open and how devastating that was. And I
Speaker 1: was just like, man, and I forwarded all the emails
Speaker 1: to myself so.
Speaker 5: That when you can take your time, look at me email,
Speaker 5: so I could.
Speaker 1: Remind myself why was he emailing? He was like, well,
Speaker 1: it was like this. He was emailing. He took a
Speaker 1: girl on a trip, so he was emailing like the
Speaker 1: travel agent at the time, like stuff, and then she
Speaker 1: was forwarding her information and then he was like sending pictures.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's an industry guy. Classic thing was.
Speaker 1: Worked in finance. And then the other thing that happened
Speaker 1: was it was his birthday that I found it on,
Speaker 1: so you know, we were supposed to go out, and
Speaker 1: so he told him on his birthday. I tried to
Speaker 1: hold it and I just couldn't. He was because I
Speaker 1: was like, man, do I want to ruin this man's birthday?
Speaker 1: Because I was really still trying to be like gracious.
Speaker 1: And then he was on his way to my house
Speaker 1: and then I just sent him a message I don't
Speaker 1: even bother coming I can't make it. He thought I
Speaker 1: was sick or so he was like, what's the matter.
Speaker 2: What happened?
Speaker 1: Then I just started forwarding him.
Speaker 5: His own and then what did he say?
Speaker 1: I mean, what could he say? You know, first people
Speaker 1: get very mad and defensive. Then you yeah, so first
Speaker 1: it's your fault, right, because that's like such an invasion
Speaker 1: of privacy.
Speaker 5: It is, definitely.
Speaker 1: But that's why I say, if you do that, because
Speaker 1: we already I think we're on the brink of about
Speaker 1: to break up. Because he like butted out me while
Speaker 1: he was in He did a lot of dumb ship,
Speaker 1: so I kind of knew it wasn't and he left
Speaker 1: it open. I wasn't looking for it. I went on
Speaker 1: to to Gmail. It was just open and so he
Speaker 1: hadn't locked out, and I said, God is like girl.
Speaker 5: Look, but he stayed with more signs do you need right?
Speaker 1: Like, do you need me to put the girl here?
Speaker 3: I never I've never been through a guy phone.
Speaker 2: But when I was dating, when I was living in Toronto,
Speaker 2: the guy was dating with they were on their break
Speaker 2: and he was planning like, well, he played basketball, so
Speaker 2: you know they have like.
Speaker 3: Two weeks off before right out. After all, start.
Speaker 2: So we were planning a trip supposedly to the Bahamas,
Speaker 2: this and that, this and that, and his side kid
Speaker 2: kept going off and he had this girl that he
Speaker 2: was Oh yeah, I was like, that's how that's the
Speaker 2: first and last.
Speaker 3: Time I went through a man.
Speaker 1: Know what sidekick is?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I was jealous of people because they
Speaker 3: all had one and I didn't.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, listen, I went through it like he was
Speaker 2: getting ready for the game. So I went through it
Speaker 2: and basically the same trip. So they have two weeks.
Speaker 2: The second week of their break, he was planning a
Speaker 2: trip with the girl from Atlanta and kept lying and
Speaker 2: he found me looking through it.
Speaker 3: I went in the bathroom, locked the door the worst.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was so and he didn't want me to
Speaker 2: go through it so bad, to the point like he
Speaker 2: hit me, like that's the first time, you know, and cartoons, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm over there. It never happened again, trust me. But
Speaker 2: you know in the cartoons when the cartoon character get
Speaker 2: hit and they see stars, I said through the phone.
Speaker 2: I never really after that, never went through a man's phone,
Speaker 2: and I don't allow them to go through mine either.
Speaker 2: But that was like my shocking, like, yeah, never again.
Speaker 2: Like he was planning a trip with me and her
Speaker 2: one week. The next week, I give my man my phone.
Speaker 2: I make sure he looks through my phone. I'd be like, look,
Speaker 2: I'm not talking to nobody but you, but.
Speaker 3: Don't check my don't check Wait, do you go check
Speaker 3: his cloud? No?
Speaker 4: I don't go listen. I by mistake, like a I
Speaker 4: came up on my son's father's Facebook and it ruined
Speaker 4: our relationship. So I learned my lesson early. Not so
Speaker 4: when you look, you're gonna find something. Just period.
Speaker 1: Okay, what about this? Have y'all ever cheated?
Speaker 4: Almost every time I got caught cheating was through my phone.
Speaker 3: So that's how you give it to him?
Speaker 4: Like, do you your story?
Speaker 1: Like, go ahead, take a look.
Speaker 4: He's like, I'm not a cheater anymore.
Speaker 3: So he knows that you cheated before.
Speaker 1: Though.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm pretty honest about it. I was young, you
Speaker 4: know when I was. I was in my first relationship,
Speaker 4: and I was like all my my whole experience. And
Speaker 4: then I became a model, and I have all these
Speaker 4: opportunities to be with these actions, these amazing.
Speaker 3: In your phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when it's.
Speaker 4: Lit like that especially, it was really nice.
Speaker 5: Have I ever been tempted to cheat?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, one time, I think, But that's also because
Speaker 3: it was really bad. Like the relationship was really bad,
Speaker 3: you know, it.
Speaker 1: Wasn't really affected you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but this was like my first boyfriend.
Speaker 5: This was my first Okay.
Speaker 3: When you like, you know, when you get into your
Speaker 3: first love and you just like stick around because you
Speaker 3: want it to be you think that's it.
Speaker 1: You know, you don't know any better.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So no matter how bad he treated me, which
Speaker 3: it was really bad, I was, like, I think I
Speaker 3: was just looking for someone to be nice to me.
Speaker 3: So that was the only time I was tempted, but
Speaker 3: I didn't do it.
Speaker 1: So is this the same person like from fair Play
Speaker 1: the songs.
Speaker 3: That fair Play?
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, this is fair Play?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Now? And this album is that the same person from
Speaker 1: their Okay? So this is a different ex?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, another bad ex?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah exactly, And like I feel like they can
Speaker 3: be good people, they're just not good for you. And
Speaker 3: also I think the really important thing is like not
Speaker 3: only are they not good for you, but they're probably
Speaker 3: not like ready for you. Okay, you know, once someone
Speaker 3: stops putting in an effort, I feel like it's already
Speaker 3: like done.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, it's hard to get it back too. Now,
Speaker 1: let's talk about your tattoos for a second. Okay, do
Speaker 1: you have so how many tattoos do you have?
Speaker 3: I don't know, man, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a guy tattooed on you? I
Speaker 1: actually do.
Speaker 3: I have, Uh my best friend that passed away in August,
Speaker 3: So this is the only guy. But he was my
Speaker 3: best friend.
Speaker 1: And you I remember you put out that project that unfinished.
Speaker 1: Was that the motivation for you to be like, I
Speaker 1: just feel like I need to put this out now
Speaker 1: because I know that you had a tribute, you know,
Speaker 1: for your best friend. Yeah, that's the way I'm there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was a time where I was I was
Speaker 3: freaking out about death, like probably for like a year.
Speaker 3: It was I I thought about constantly, maybe every day
Speaker 3: I would have like a little bit of a freak out,
Speaker 3: and it was really hard to let that go. And
Speaker 3: once he passed away, I felt like it all was real,
Speaker 3: you know, that that fear was like really there in
Speaker 3: front of my face and real, and I needed to
Speaker 3: just process how that feeling affected me and what that
Speaker 3: really felt like for someone to be gone, and where
Speaker 3: do I think they go. And he affected me in
Speaker 3: such a positive way. He really made me stronger, like
Speaker 3: I was going through a lot at that time mentally,
Speaker 3: and he was also my muy Thai trainer, and I
Speaker 3: would be with him every single day, and not only
Speaker 3: did he teach me to like be strong physically, but mentally.
Speaker 3: He was like man one of my biggest cheerleaders for sure,
Speaker 3: and always was really protective over me and showed me
Speaker 3: even though it wasn't like romantic, he showed me what
Speaker 3: a good man can do for you in your life
Speaker 3: was beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was beautiful.
Speaker 1: So you have him tattoo? Yeah, Strawberry Shortcake.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's my mom's favorite character.
Speaker 1: You want to hear something so funny. I was talking
Speaker 1: about Halloween. Yeah, and one year I was gonna go
Speaker 1: trick or treating. I used to have to take piano
Speaker 1: lessons growing up, right, but my piano teaching, I know
Speaker 1: you played a piano two. I'm nowhere on your level, but.
Speaker 3: I'm nowhere on my old level.
Speaker 1: But my piano teacher had cats, and I was allergic
Speaker 1: to cats. So my piano lessons were every Monday, and
Speaker 1: I was there and I got a really bad allergic reaction,
Speaker 1: and so my mom wouldn't let me go outside. And
Speaker 1: I had a Sour Grapes costume. She's one of the
Speaker 1: characters with Strawberry Shortcake. She's like the bad one. And
Speaker 1: I just sat at home in my costume and cried
Speaker 1: because she wouldn't let me go.
Speaker 4: Outside the real sour greep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was so sad in my little Sour Grapes costume.
Speaker 1: If you were in character, I just want to say,
Speaker 1: but yes, And that's so funny because I was just
Speaker 1: talking about that today and a lot of people don't
Speaker 1: know who Strawberry Shortcake is.
Speaker 5: I knew, but I didn't know who.
Speaker 3: You neither. Yeah, my mom gave me a lunch box
Speaker 3: and it was like a vintage lunchbox. My mom grew
Speaker 3: up in foster care, so she like didn't have ship,
Speaker 3: you know, she wasn't there. I'm not allowed to take
Speaker 3: ship from house to house. And she found this vintage
Speaker 3: lunch box and it was Strawberry Shortcake and she gave
Speaker 3: it to me one day to take to school and
Speaker 3: I lost it. She was like she literally told me,
Speaker 3: like anytime she told me, don't lose this. I lost
Speaker 3: it every single fucking time. So she was like, don't
Speaker 3: lose this because it was very special lunch box. I know, I.
Speaker 1: Not gonna who's gonna steal your lunch?
Speaker 5: I mean it sounds like it was a nice lunch box.
Speaker 3: It was very cute. So I told her, now, since
Speaker 3: I lost her lunch box, I always have strawberry shortcake
Speaker 3: on me.
Speaker 5: And what she said, she was okay with that, Yeah,
Speaker 5: she was.
Speaker 3: She was like, oh, that's cute, that's sweet. I also
Speaker 3: got like a honey, like a huge honey sock vine
Speaker 3: on my on my hip. And that's also because she said,
Speaker 3: you know, they would starve her basically in foster care,
Speaker 3: and so her and her brother and sister would go
Speaker 3: and suck the juice from the honeysuckles. And I showed
Speaker 3: that to her because it was so big. She was like, good,
Speaker 3: she was a little weird, while you have the honey,
Speaker 3: because I see you have the This is actually from
Speaker 3: my favorite poet, Rupie Kawer. She has a book, uh,
Speaker 3: a collection of her poems and it's called Milk and Honey,
Speaker 3: and it's really beautiful. She just talks about, you know,
Speaker 3: becoming a woman and what that feels like, especially as
Speaker 3: a woman of color, and every time again because I've
Speaker 3: dealt with bipolar, depression, anxiety, all that shit, and I
Speaker 3: was really depressed at the time, and that book did
Speaker 3: a lot for me, and I would cry every page
Speaker 3: that I read it. And she she does this really
Speaker 3: cool thing where she puts she does a poem and
Speaker 3: then she draws like a fine line drawing next to it.
Speaker 3: So I took that fine line drawing.
Speaker 1: And what's her name be?
Speaker 4: Cower? Just remember, honey, Yeah, I want I'm interested.
Speaker 1: I love how meaningful everything is that you have. Like
Speaker 1: I don't have any tattoos because I don't I don't
Speaker 1: don't want to change my mind, Like I don't know
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: But to me, it's like it's a story either. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and you can make up ship.
Speaker 1: After like, yeah, that's what I do.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: How many tatoes do you have?
Speaker 4: I don't even know. I have a bunch. But like,
Speaker 4: all the reasons I got them are different reasons.
Speaker 3: Now remberes or something.
Speaker 4: Well, I got the big one on my stomach to
Speaker 4: cover my stretch marks from having my son. So that's
Speaker 4: the reason I got that one as a cover up.
Speaker 3: Well, is it.
Speaker 4: It's earlier. I have flowers on my beautiful all on
Speaker 4: my stomach, but it's like, now, yeah, you see I'm
Speaker 4: on my hips. But no, actually I don't. I'm gonna
Speaker 4: be very honest. I didn't feel I have a gorilla here.
Speaker 5: Why is gorilla?
Speaker 3: Well, change the reason.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the first tattoo that was there was my ex
Speaker 4: boyfriend's first and last name Guy.
Speaker 1: Definitely.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I had to cover it, so I had to pick
Speaker 4: something big, and I like gorillas that and so now
Speaker 4: it's like, oh, I'm a beast, so I have a
Speaker 4: gorilla on.
Speaker 3: I like that. I feel like as soon as you
Speaker 3: put someone's name on your body.
Speaker 4: If she makes plans, they make plans for other movements.
Speaker 5: Also, if I want to get over somebody, I should
Speaker 5: put or if I want them to leave me or
Speaker 5: us to break up.
Speaker 1: I need to definitely get I think you I would
Speaker 1: just get like initials because then you can always like
Speaker 1: make something up easy for them.
Speaker 4: But I didn't feel any of my tats for like,
Speaker 4: the only tattoo that hurt was the first one. I
Speaker 4: have a tramp stamp that I don't even look at.
Speaker 5: You can't ye, So I don't care about it.
Speaker 4: But that's the only one that hurt. But all the
Speaker 4: rest of them, like I took a bunch of percocet,
Speaker 4: so I didn't feel like I didn't feel with one
Speaker 4: on my ribs, I didn't feel the one in my stomach.
Speaker 4: I didn't feel not even after no and I was
Speaker 4: on ecstasy when I did this one on my finger.
Speaker 4: I was, I don't know. We were like laughing.
Speaker 1: Maybe it felt good.
Speaker 2: What is that your only I have seven of them,
Speaker 2: but you really can see them, like I have a rosary.
Speaker 2: All of them are butterfly themed, but more because butterfly
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 4: But you did one on your foot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have to hear yo.
Speaker 2: Three people left the the guy was so Ian. People
Speaker 2: who get people the office? That mean three people left
Speaker 2: hearing me scream like that was the worst one.
Speaker 1: They're like, I'm not going to hear.
Speaker 3: I have the one in the back of my neck,
Speaker 3: and then I have William here.
Speaker 2: But I didn't want to put William's name because he's
Speaker 2: named after his father, my son's name, so I put
Speaker 2: his nickname. Oh okay, but the one on your neck
Speaker 2: didn't hurt too bad, right, Yeah, that one wasn't bad.
Speaker 3: The one in the back of the neck.
Speaker 4: Wasn't bad. I have one here on the side of
Speaker 4: my head. It was just weird, like to have the
Speaker 4: buzzing in my head like this.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, that's one of my sideburns. Tickled and
Speaker 3: it was my third test ever. It's a lotus, okay,
Speaker 3: I thought. And he was yelling at me because he
Speaker 3: was like, I was on your fucking face.
Speaker 4: He was so mad.
Speaker 3: He was like, stop sucking laughing and he was done
Speaker 3: with me. But it was it was so tickled. Is
Speaker 3: the one. I think the foot one is the worst
Speaker 3: I've heard. Oh my god, I have an angle.
Speaker 4: Yeah wrap, No, I need people who get tattoos all
Speaker 4: over their body and the leg and the foot their
Speaker 4: rying man.
Speaker 5: I ever use like dumbing cream and then no what
Speaker 5: I'm not a spray if I give I have a
Speaker 5: really small tattoo. It was too painful, so I didn't
Speaker 5: finish it.
Speaker 3: Where was it.
Speaker 5: It's a tiny stars.
Speaker 4: Telling you take purpose, you don't feel anything.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just couldn't finish it.
Speaker 1: It's just the tiny stuff.
Speaker 3: You have to get another one with rain.
Speaker 5: Okay, don't have a C section. So I was thinking
Speaker 5: about getting something cut.
Speaker 4: Like yeah, do it. It's nice. That's something like a
Speaker 4: nice flower and take purpose. You'll never feel with that
Speaker 4: what I I.
Speaker 1: Do You have lazer hair removal?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Was that painful?
Speaker 3: I would say I like the feeling of tattoos more
Speaker 3: than I like the feeling of laser hair removal.
Speaker 1: For sure.
Speaker 3: It's like rare. I I really I think it's hit
Speaker 3: or miss for me when it comes to the pain
Speaker 3: of blazer hair removal. Sometimes they say when you're on
Speaker 3: your period, don't yeah, And I think I pretty much
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 1: On my period the other time because I was going
Speaker 1: to say with the numbing cream, that's a good idea.
Speaker 5: So I got my under arms lasered and that it
Speaker 5: was okay.
Speaker 3: The under arms aren't that bad. It's when they go
Speaker 3: on the inner lip of your pussy word.
Speaker 5: But I get waxes.
Speaker 1: So the only time, yeah, I have lazer hair.
Speaker 5: The only time that really hurt was when I was pregnant.
Speaker 5: It feltxes don't hurt, so it's bearable. It's bearable. It's not.
Speaker 5: It's like, okay, I mean the.
Speaker 3: Ingrown hairs from that, Yeah, I just I got way more.
Speaker 1: I think laser hair was amazing because there's no more ingrown.
Speaker 1: It definitely hurts. I think the first few sessions hurt
Speaker 1: the most, and then as you progress and there's less
Speaker 1: and less hair, it doesn't hurt so bad.
Speaker 5: So do you are you? Is it a little patchy
Speaker 5: when it grows? Like how long do you have before?
Speaker 1: It's like grand hairs?
Speaker 5: But no, but some under arms are it's random now yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then it's done and then you can get
Speaker 1: it like touched up every now and then.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: This is also it's like when you wax, you have
Speaker 3: to keep going back with laser. It's like less and
Speaker 3: less every test is the problem with laser though.
Speaker 5: Every time I think about getting done, they're like, okay,
Speaker 5: well you can't have you have to you know, you
Speaker 5: can't have gotten waxed the last in the last few weeks.
Speaker 1: Shave the bush.
Speaker 3: That's so annoying.
Speaker 5: That's kind of hard when you let your hair grow
Speaker 5: on your legs. It's a spring, it's the summer, so
Speaker 5: I've been shaving my legs. I don't shave my legs
Speaker 5: properly when it's cold out at all.
Speaker 1: What's proper?
Speaker 3: Really? Do you get hard hair? I don't really get
Speaker 3: hard hair.
Speaker 1: Soft hairs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like you do.
Speaker 4: And it's just like I shave my legs every time,
Speaker 4: shave every.
Speaker 1: Time I do, every time I say I will not.
Speaker 5: I would not leave any hair down here at all.
Speaker 5: I don't play that but my legs legs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I told her that's like very misleading, misleading to
Speaker 1: people advertising. All right, now let's get into some of
Speaker 1: the music, all right, because you have the song with
Speaker 1: LM A Jealous. We had a whole conversation with this
Speaker 1: at work with with Ma No. All right, so we
Speaker 1: were talking about because you said that it's okay you
Speaker 1: could be with a guy and he's seeing other women,
Speaker 1: but you are going to be jealous of course, right,
Speaker 1: even though you can pretend I'm okay with us not
Speaker 1: being committed, but truthfully, I don't want you to be
Speaker 1: with other women. And so is this a real life
Speaker 1: story for you?
Speaker 3: I just want my person to be obsessed with me,
Speaker 3: same like I don't. I just want to be like
Speaker 3: number one. You don't see nobody else one, no, number two,
Speaker 3: yeah exactly, because I am number one. So like it's
Speaker 3: like it should be very simple, but I think, like
Speaker 3: I don't get jealous. It's really hard for me to
Speaker 3: get jealous. The only thing.
Speaker 5: I love the song.
Speaker 3: That's why I love the song because it's like, okay, cool, Like,
Speaker 3: so I found out I have a very anxious, avoidant
Speaker 3: attachment style. So I'm like, okay, I should be number one,
Speaker 3: but like, also, you couldn't do what you're gonna do
Speaker 3: Because'm probably gonna do what I'm gonna do. But like
Speaker 3: we're here, you know, And so with that song, I
Speaker 3: love that. It's like this internal conversation in my head.
Speaker 3: The only thing that I get jealous over is Instagram.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's so interesting, but I know it's the only thing.
Speaker 3: So okay, I only get jealous when the person that
Speaker 3: I'm seeing or talking to is liking other bitch just
Speaker 3: pictures that bothers me so much because because you want attention,
Speaker 3: So like, I don't care. I don't care if you're
Speaker 3: like already following people and you're just like looking at
Speaker 3: their ship. We all are attracted to other people as normal,
Speaker 3: cool science whatever. So if you're like looking at other shit, cool,
Speaker 3: I get it. Look, her ass is really nice, she's beautiful. Cool.
Speaker 3: Keep scrolling because you really think Emily Rodakowski is like
Speaker 3: looking for your think Harvey is looking for your fucking life.
Speaker 3: Don't know, why are you even going out of your way,
Speaker 3: you know, because you.
Speaker 5: Feel like you want you want them to see that
Speaker 5: you liked their pictures exactly.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's so funny. My ex used to like, I
Speaker 1: would say he liked pictures, but he was like, I
Speaker 1: just go and I just like everything, Like I scrolled
Speaker 1: down my timeline and just like everybody.
Speaker 5: A guy told me that too.
Speaker 3: Hmm, that's just the excuse. Also for me, it's like,
Speaker 3: if you're liking someone like I don't know, like Georgia, right,
Speaker 3: Georgia's fucking gorgeous. Everyone Georgia Smith.
Speaker 1: Everybody knows she's.
Speaker 3: Fucking gorgeous, beautiful. If you're liking her photo, she's my peer,
Speaker 3: you know, like I'm gonna see her right, She's gonna
Speaker 3: be right next to me talking to me, and you're
Speaker 3: gonna be right next to me. So now I know,
Speaker 3: like you're attracted to her. That's weird.
Speaker 2: It's weird.
Speaker 1: Does that mean I'm attracted to somebody? What if it's
Speaker 1: a song and the song is dope, and what.
Speaker 3: It's also the type of pictures too?
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, okay, of fair enough, because what if it's
Speaker 1: like somebody previewing some new music and their picture.
Speaker 4: You're a fan.
Speaker 1: As a person in this business, what happens if you
Speaker 1: like guys pictures, but like other artists male male artists.
Speaker 3: I mean, like, I'm not gonna go like a shirtless
Speaker 3: picture of male I honestly don't really be on Instagram
Speaker 3: like that either, though, Like, okay, I'm not. I don't
Speaker 3: like to scroll. It makes me feel shitty. I don't
Speaker 3: like scrolling on Twitter. The only reason I'm on Twitter
Speaker 3: is to like see the updates or like see like
Speaker 3: talk to my fans, you know. But I really don't
Speaker 3: be on social media like that. It's just not good
Speaker 3: for me mental.
Speaker 1: Health, fair enough, you know. I was just saying I'm
Speaker 1: trying to post more on Instagram because I barely do it.
Speaker 1: Like I look at stuff for work. I'm always like
Speaker 1: being nosy to see what's going on so I can
Speaker 1: report on things and have the full story. But I
Speaker 1: haven't been good at posting things, you know, myself, and
Speaker 1: I know I need to same. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: get better at it, all right, So are you a
Speaker 1: jealous person? Yes? Or no? Because I'm I'm not sure.
Speaker 5: No, Instagram. I would say it sounds like it.
Speaker 3: I would say no, I would say, I'm ninety six
Speaker 3: percent not jealous.
Speaker 1: So if you're with somebody, you would like to be
Speaker 1: number one, but it's okay for them to have some
Speaker 1: number two, three, four. If we're talking, if you're just talking, yeah,
Speaker 1: do you want to know about it? Do you want
Speaker 1: him to be honest like or if you call him
Speaker 1: and he doesn't answer, do you want him to be
Speaker 1: like I was a sleeperor do you want him be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was on a date.
Speaker 3: The thing is I wouldn't know because I'm always number one.
Speaker 3: There is no two or three.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're out of town. He doesn't answer, wet.
Speaker 3: Okay, No, I'm not worried. I'm not really pressed like that.
Speaker 5: Listen, but let that nigga like somebody's Instagram picture.
Speaker 3: Then you're fucked. Yeah, then we're gonna have a conversation. Yes,
Speaker 3: don't answer the phone, but don't like the picture exact.
Speaker 3: How was it?
Speaker 1: Recommend LMA?
Speaker 3: It was great. That was my girl. I mean, she's
Speaker 3: always been so supportive with me since day one. I
Speaker 3: think there was there was a time where we both
Speaker 3: fair Play was on the radio, and boot Up was
Speaker 3: on the radio and boot Up one, you know, boot
Speaker 3: Up did boom, and it was so dope because people
Speaker 3: were kind of comparing us at the same time at
Speaker 3: that time, because people had like curly hair with light skin,
Speaker 3: just like it was stupid, but people were comparing us.
Speaker 3: And she kind of was just like fuck that and
Speaker 3: like posted my music on her story and was really
Speaker 3: supportive and then took me on her tour. So I'm
Speaker 3: really grateful for her.
Speaker 1: She's still that's amazing. So people have embraced you like
Speaker 1: other women because you've worked with a lot of other
Speaker 1: women artists.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think like the energy that you put out
Speaker 3: is the energy that you're and I get. And I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm not a competitive person either. I compete with myself.
Speaker 3: So if that's the energy that I'm putting out, and
Speaker 3: I'm just like really comfortable with myself and really comfortable
Speaker 3: with you, and I'm I'm down to like give you
Speaker 3: your props and like give you your flowers. There's that
Speaker 3: energy is just it's different.
Speaker 1: You know, Listen, it's amazing to me how you even
Speaker 1: came into this game and like starting off as young
Speaker 1: as you did. Sometimes people will look at you as
Speaker 1: a kid. I look at like Chloe and Bailey and
Speaker 1: the criticism that they get as they've grown up before us.
Speaker 1: But I don't feel like that's happened to you. I
Speaker 1: feel like you came in as a you know, young
Speaker 1: but now people have allowed you the space to be
Speaker 1: who you are.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think I'm not. I'm also like very kept
Speaker 3: to myself, Like I have a lot of friends that
Speaker 3: aren't in the industry, and I really like to be
Speaker 3: in my little space, in my little circle and with
Speaker 3: people that I trust. So and I'm also like not
Speaker 3: really on social media like that either, Like I don't
Speaker 3: really be posting a lot of my personal shit. So
Speaker 3: I think that's also where I kinda again, I put
Speaker 3: that energy out there and people don't really give a fuck.
Speaker 3: So I haven't really gotten a lot of criticism.
Speaker 1: And you don't care because you won't see it anyway.
Speaker 3: Exactly, I'm not scrolling by it.
Speaker 1: And for your mom you talked about, you know, your
Speaker 1: mom growing up in fastic care and having you, you
Speaker 1: feel like she like overloved you just because of everything
Speaker 1: that she's been through. You know, sometimes I find that
Speaker 1: people who've our parents have had a rough childhood and
Speaker 1: it can make them go either way. But it feels
Speaker 1: like with your mom, she's like, oh yeah, she.
Speaker 3: Loves me so much. I mean, she sacrificed so much
Speaker 3: for me to be where I am today, and I
Speaker 3: think for her, she always seen an opportunity for me
Speaker 3: to thrive and love what I do, and she really
Speaker 3: wanted that for me, so she always gave me, tried
Speaker 3: her best to give me stability and also drive, and
Speaker 3: she's just Man, the amount of shit that that will
Speaker 3: has been through. I don't know how she is so.
Speaker 1: Wonderful. Was she open with you about things or was
Speaker 1: it like as you've been going through therapy, asking questions.
Speaker 3: You know what's beautiful is like she's told me more
Speaker 3: as I get older, because there's a lot of fucked
Speaker 3: up shit like a twelve year old couldn't understand or
Speaker 3: comprehend at all, but she has really so since I've
Speaker 3: been on my mental health journey and like getting diagnosed
Speaker 3: and going to therapy, she was really reluctant to believe
Speaker 3: me and what was going on because she was in
Speaker 3: denial because mental health is she's running my family. You know,
Speaker 3: it's genetic mostly, and so I think from her traumas,
Speaker 3: she really didn't want that to be true for me
Speaker 3: and also really didn't want it to be true for
Speaker 3: her either. You know. So once once she's seen how
Speaker 3: much it changed my perspective on life and really helped
Speaker 3: me and healed me and the amount of growth that
Speaker 3: I was doing, it opened her eyes to what was
Speaker 3: possible for her.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 3: And now she's been like in therapy.
Speaker 4: She goes everything.
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
Speaker 3: Her life is completely changed, like her perspective, she's she's
Speaker 3: treating her body right, like she's just so she's different,
Speaker 3: not different, she still has her core, but the whether
Speaker 3: she handles things is just very different because she's she's
Speaker 3: healing through her trauma, and you know, it's a lot
Speaker 3: she's very guarded about what she went through as a kid,
Speaker 3: so she's kind of starting from like present and going
Speaker 3: backwards and seeing like how that shit affects her now,
Speaker 3: and it's just really it's really beautiful to see she
Speaker 3: is so strong.
Speaker 1: See how people could learn from their kids too, I think,
Speaker 1: and even just when it comes to like therapy and
Speaker 1: mental health, you know, I feel like the previous generation,
Speaker 1: it was a lot more taboo than it has been.
Speaker 1: People are having like way more open discussions about it,
Speaker 1: just even being able to find therapists. Now, I feel
Speaker 1: like it's a lot easier.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like it used to really be hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I also think it's a privilege. And I always
Speaker 3: say that because you know, like a single mom, a
Speaker 3: black single mother that has two jobs trying to afford
Speaker 3: a living for herself and her two kids, yeah, doesn't
Speaker 3: have time and probably the money to be able to
Speaker 3: afford therapy and heal. And it really is a privilege.
Speaker 3: And I want to just take that and I call
Speaker 3: it secondhand therapy or hand me down therapy, and that's
Speaker 3: also what my music is, Like, I really want to
Speaker 3: take that and be able to share it with people
Speaker 3: so that even if they can't afford it, like they're
Speaker 3: feeling some sort of healing and feeling less alone.
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because you also are you write your
Speaker 1: own music, right, And I feel like there's a different
Speaker 1: connection to an artist, you know, not saying that everybody
Speaker 1: has to write their own music or people can't have
Speaker 1: help or co writers or even just you know, be
Speaker 1: given a song, but for you, that's really important, right.
Speaker 3: Really important. I definitely have co writers that are really
Speaker 3: really grey. It always comes from me, and I do
Speaker 3: take songs sometimes, and the only times I take songs
Speaker 3: is when I feel like they said it better than
Speaker 3: I could. Okay, you know right, And that's like therapy
Speaker 3: for me because now I get to sing that story
Speaker 3: and I'll always add my own shit to it for sure,
Speaker 3: but they definitely have said it better than I could.
Speaker 3: Maybe I couldn't have processed what I wanted to say
Speaker 3: about that specific thing. Yet with co writers, I love
Speaker 3: it because I always say, like I love a group project.
Speaker 3: I always did in school. So being able to go
Speaker 3: back and forth with somebody and have them help you
Speaker 3: kind of sort out what your thoughts are and organize
Speaker 3: those thoughts, and also just like validating. Sometimes I don't
Speaker 3: have the confidence to talk about what I want to
Speaker 3: talk about. So for them to be like, yeah, no,
Speaker 3: that's good, that makes sense, or like, I think we
Speaker 3: could say it a different way, that's really helpful. When
Speaker 3: I write by myself, that is definitely the most therapeutic
Speaker 3: because I started out everything writing poetry and so to
Speaker 3: be able to just put it all on paper and
Speaker 3: really like get the idea out and it's completely my own.
Speaker 3: It's so satisfying, and I have a different connection to
Speaker 3: singing those songs too, Like when I go on tour,
Speaker 3: it just feels so much more heartfelt.
Speaker 1: Like which one like for the new album, what would
Speaker 1: you say was the most therapeutic song for you?
Speaker 3: I mean Bitter Bitch actually intro lude. That was good.
Speaker 3: That was really good. That was that was like really therapeutic.
Speaker 3: And I just remember being in the studio and like
Speaker 3: sitting in the chair and just being like.
Speaker 1: Fuck.
Speaker 3: Like literally at the end of the song, I say
Speaker 3: like I'm traumatized. Fuck, because that's really where I really
Speaker 3: had that reaction when you wrote that, I was in
Speaker 3: the studio at my manager at the time, they had
Speaker 3: a studio in their house, and I was just in
Speaker 3: the booth. And this was during COVID, so my engineer
Speaker 3: was there was the control room and then there was
Speaker 3: the booth, and we had to figure out a system
Speaker 3: where we would still stay separate. So I was in
Speaker 3: the booth and he would just talk to me from
Speaker 3: the talk back and he would go through the separate
Speaker 3: door and go into the control room. And I just
Speaker 3: remember sitting there and so also let me say with
Speaker 3: Bitter Bitch Introlude. It's also a response to reviews from YouTube.
Speaker 3: So for Keiky for the anniversary, I put together like
Speaker 3: a compilation of all the reviews, and every time I
Speaker 3: watched a review of skitter Lude, everyone would say like, damn,
Speaker 3: she's bitter some form of damn She's bitter, and so
Speaker 3: it's also a response to that. So I called the
Speaker 3: guys who introduced a lot of the album and I
Speaker 3: was like, we need a track that's like Skitterlude. I
Speaker 3: have something to say, and they were like, okay, cool.
Speaker 3: So I got in the studio and I was just
Speaker 3: sitting there and I was like, it just was flowing
Speaker 3: so easily, like line by line.
Speaker 1: It just felt so good. And the album is called Grudges,
Speaker 1: and that's also a song on there, So why Grudges?
Speaker 4: I like it? So thank you I.
Speaker 3: Obviously, so I have another song on the album called Closure.
Speaker 3: Originally the album was going to be called Closure because
Speaker 3: obviously when you get it out in music or you
Speaker 3: talk about it, you feel a little sense of closure,
Speaker 3: hopefully for yourself. And I realized me and my team
Speaker 3: were talking about it when we were like going through
Speaker 3: all the songs and we were just like, this is
Speaker 3: not about closure, this is about grudges. Like I am
Speaker 3: talking shit this whole album. So I think that was
Speaker 3: more the therapy was like getting everything out. And then
Speaker 3: I think there's a there's a double meaning to it
Speaker 3: because grudges. The actual song is about trying to release
Speaker 3: those grudges and how it's hard and you might not
Speaker 3: be doing it the right way all the time and
Speaker 3: you might be going through a hard time, but you
Speaker 3: really just have to try to let shit go.
Speaker 1: And who is high Sometimes it is fucking hard, at
Speaker 1: least for me because you know I will, yeah, and
Speaker 1: you know we are stebbing goats and aries.
Speaker 4: Ram.
Speaker 3: I am ready at all times to protect myself and
Speaker 3: protect my people. As soon as you fuck with with
Speaker 3: my people too, I'll hold a grudges even if they're
Speaker 3: over it and they forgive you, I'm still.
Speaker 1: Passed and you're like, dare you have made me mad?
Speaker 1: And then you went and forgave them. Yeah, now I'm
Speaker 1: over here, still mad.
Speaker 3: I'm like, good for you and love that. Don't fuck
Speaker 3: that nigga, like I will. We will have a problem forever.
Speaker 3: I have grudges still from people in like third grade. Wow, you.
Speaker 1: Actually, I know third grade. You gotta let that go.
Speaker 2: An eight year old you, you know, it's so crazy.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I want to hold grudges, but I can't, like
Speaker 2: I want to. Sometimes I'm like, I'm supposed to be
Speaker 2: be mad. I'm supposed to be hurt about this, like
Speaker 2: I was so hurt, but I don't. It's crazy, like
Speaker 2: I don't know how to hold grudges, like I always
Speaker 2: tend to look back and be like.
Speaker 3: It's not about you. This is probably about THEMB and
Speaker 3: this has nothing to do with you, so let it go.
Speaker 3: That's so mature.
Speaker 5: I'm not mature. I can hold grudges. I'm okay. But
Speaker 5: it also sometimes it's something really bothered me for some reason.
Speaker 5: I I can't remember it sometime.
Speaker 3: Oh you like compartmentalize, yeah, and it'll come out later.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, ship, that's why I was mad.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like it if it's really really for some reason,
Speaker 5: I won't remember it and then I just repressed it
Speaker 5: and then it'll come out later from.
Speaker 3: People that you really care about and love though, because
Speaker 3: I feel like it hurts the worst, So you want to,
Speaker 3: like you would compartmentalize it so that you can you
Speaker 3: can remember that like I don't feel that right fee
Speaker 3: I forget that I'm mad at the person or that
Speaker 3: even something happened, and I just like I forget.
Speaker 4: And I'm just like me, I always remember what people
Speaker 4: do me. I used to say God forgives and I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I have been on a faith journey for a
Speaker 4: couple of years, and with a faith journey comes a
Speaker 4: lot of forgiveness.
Speaker 1: So there we go. God, do you fall in love
Speaker 1: really easily?
Speaker 3: It's kind of a hard question for me because I
Speaker 3: I feel like I don't ever go seeking shit, but
Speaker 3: like I'll fuck around.
Speaker 5: And find out and I'll find out later.
Speaker 3: I really I think it's easy for me to like
Speaker 3: separate sex from like love.
Speaker 5: Oh nice, it is really easy.
Speaker 1: People act like women can't do that.
Speaker 3: I know it's crazy and I've done it successfully. But
Speaker 3: there's times where like people have fallen or they get feelings,
Speaker 3: and then I feel kind of like convinced after a
Speaker 3: little bit to like go on a day or do whatever.
Speaker 3: Like I'm kind of just like go with the flow,
Speaker 3: like fuck it. And then eventually I'm like okay, like
Speaker 3: you're kind of cool whatever, and then you know, everything
Speaker 3: goes from there. So I don't think I fall in
Speaker 3: love easily, but I think I am. I think once
Speaker 3: I hit that point, I fall in love fast.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, because sometimes we try to prevent that from happening.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes you're like, I really like this person,
Speaker 1: but I will not allow myself.
Speaker 4: I will not. I feel like as I've gotten older,
Speaker 4: I've become more selective. So now everything I touched I'm
Speaker 4: totally obsessed with. You know, like when I was drunk
Speaker 4: and having fun. When I was younger, it was so
Speaker 4: easy for me to like not care. But now anything
Speaker 4: I get involved with, I'm totally obsessed with and they
Speaker 4: have to be totally obsessed with me.
Speaker 1: But can you separate sex from feelings?
Speaker 5: Though?
Speaker 3: Not now?
Speaker 5: When I was younger, her vagina has feelings now that she's.
Speaker 4: Got I swear, am I crazy? Now?
Speaker 1: Like Keanna like, look, okay, so your ex right? Can
Speaker 1: you have sex with your ex and not care anymore?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I've done it before, Okay, but they cared?
Speaker 1: Okay? Is that like a revenge get back kind of
Speaker 1: a little bit too?
Speaker 3: No. I think it was like I was just like, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: this is like one of the last times we're ever
Speaker 3: gonna fuck and then it's like, oh, you're gonna miss it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna miss it. Cool, there's something hot about it,
Speaker 3: you know, it's like hiding something, like hiding some sort
Speaker 3: of like rendezvous thing. And then like that's kind of
Speaker 3: on the same level for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, because yeah, she's definitely talked about that. Wanted to
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, we broke up, but let's you know,
Speaker 1: every now and then, let's link up. Do you still
Speaker 1: ever go back if you're single?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: No, you feel like you can get with any of
Speaker 1: your ex'es if you wanted to.
Speaker 3: Mmm, if they were single.
Speaker 1: Probably Okay, you're so respectful, right, I'd be like, fuck
Speaker 1: that bitch. How about that?
Speaker 5: You're welcome?
Speaker 1: When's the last time, like when you end up in
Speaker 1: a relationship do they ask you like, hey, you be
Speaker 1: my or are we monogamous? How does that even happen nowadays?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think it's like very casual. It happens very casually.
Speaker 3: I think one when I get to that point where
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I caught feelings. We're spending every day together,
Speaker 3: like we're spending every single day obsessed with each other,
Speaker 3: And then I think when it starts to when it
Speaker 3: starts to feel like real, it gets kind of scary
Speaker 3: for me. And I've always told people that I've talked to,
Speaker 3: like I could be in a talking pace for the
Speaker 3: rest of my life, or like I could be in
Speaker 3: an exclusive phase for the rest of my life.
Speaker 4: I don't care.
Speaker 1: But my thing is.
Speaker 3: I don't I don't care about Like I don't want
Speaker 3: to get married, right, Like that's my I don't want
Speaker 3: to get married, But I want you to propose to
Speaker 3: me with you like I want to.
Speaker 5: Do you want me? Do you want to be engaged from.
Speaker 1: You'll say no, no, I say yes.
Speaker 3: But we're not getting married. We're gonna have a celebration
Speaker 3: of love.
Speaker 1: That's what I say.
Speaker 3: I want to because then we could do it every
Speaker 3: year if we want to. Everybody. I want all of
Speaker 3: our friends, the family to gather around and celebrate how
Speaker 3: amazing are together every fucking year every year.
Speaker 2: Did they do that?
Speaker 1: Basketball wives? Your every year?
Speaker 3: Still doing it?
Speaker 1: Probably? I think that's their tradition.
Speaker 3: It wasn't ridiculous. That's great, Yeah, see that, but they
Speaker 3: get married. See what I'm extra as fuck, that's what
Speaker 3: I want. I'm a little much all the time.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, what about is being obsessed with you
Speaker 1: ever too much? Though? If we broke up, okay, as
Speaker 1: long as you're together, it's fine. And look, we had
Speaker 1: that conversation. I was telling you, you want a guy
Speaker 1: to be obsessed with you if you like him like that.
Speaker 1: If you don't like him like that, it's annoying. But
Speaker 1: if you're like, I really like you and I you
Speaker 1: know that's true.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 1: What's the best gift you ever got?
Speaker 3: M I think like so like my love languages, gifts
Speaker 3: is like the last thing for me. If you're gonna
Speaker 3: give me something, it's something like thoughtful.
Speaker 1: Ye, let's say best thoughtful gift.
Speaker 3: I would say the best thoughtful gift. Uh for my birthday.
Speaker 3: So my birthday is in April, so Easter is like
Speaker 3: right around my birthday, and I don't really celebrate Easter
Speaker 3: like that, but I love Easter egg hunts. Look, that's
Speaker 3: the same thing. I'm like, I don't really care to
Speaker 3: get married, but like I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I'm like, we had a host Gabbins your hunt in
Speaker 1: New York.
Speaker 3: So yeah, exactly, So I don't really I don't really
Speaker 3: fuck withut Easter like that, but I love. I love
Speaker 3: Easter egg hunts. So I was like, oh, I really
Speaker 3: want to have an Easter egg hunt. And so on
Speaker 3: my birthday they did an Easter egg hunt for me,
Speaker 3: and it was like there was like notes in every
Speaker 3: single Easter eggs with the Rieses, you know, like Rieses
Speaker 3: they come out with the Ries's eggs. Those are the best.
Speaker 3: They have way more peanut butter than the regular ones. No,
Speaker 3: they're They're so fucking good. So I love They're so good.
Speaker 1: They're half off right now at them?
Speaker 3: Wait are they the up right now?
Speaker 5: I like them cold though, put them on.
Speaker 3: I like it to melt in my mouth, even when
Speaker 3: it's cold. It molts and it's like in the roof
Speaker 3: of your mouth.
Speaker 5: But your story.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So there was one of those in every single Easter
Speaker 3: egg too. And then at the end there was like
Speaker 3: a really big gold Easter eggs and it was like
Speaker 3: a really big note. It was really sweet.
Speaker 1: That's so cute's time exactly, preparation.
Speaker 3: That's like acts of service to me, And that's not
Speaker 3: really expensive. No, I like that. Yeah.
Speaker 5: The thing is like people think that you got to
Speaker 5: spend all this money, yeah, and like you really don't
Speaker 5: you could.
Speaker 3: Take me on a surprise picnic and fucking put a
Speaker 3: bag of ship on it, on a blanket, and I'd
Speaker 3: be like totally. Like if they were like, oh, like,
Speaker 3: I know you said, and so here's a bag of
Speaker 3: ship because it reminded me of you, I'm.
Speaker 1: Like problem, Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 3: That hit too hard right now?
Speaker 5: Indeed, that's what she said.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm so glad you said that hard.
Speaker 5: You say early I had a return with.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy. I think everyone should say.
Speaker 4: That's what she said.
Speaker 3: That's what he said at some point.
Speaker 1: All right, So now, how important is sex to you
Speaker 1: in a relationship?
Speaker 3: Oh? So important. Physical touch is my number one lovelingth okay,
Speaker 3: number one, Yeah, number one. I think once the sex
Speaker 3: starts going downhill, the whole relationship starts going downhill. But
Speaker 3: it's also like it's kind of symbiotic, like once a
Speaker 3: relationship starts going downhill, then the sex goes downhill.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you can't do have great sex with somebody
Speaker 1: but not really care about them, because you said you
Speaker 1: can separate the two. Yeah, okay, So what's great sex
Speaker 1: to you?
Speaker 3: I really just first now at this point, because of
Speaker 3: everything I've been through in my life, feeling safe is
Speaker 3: actually like the number one thing, okay, because I'm sure
Speaker 3: ever all the women, especially in this room have been
Speaker 3: through some or sexual harassment or assault unfortunately, and so
Speaker 3: now I think processing through a lot of my sexual trauma,
Speaker 3: I've had to try to connect back to my body,
Speaker 3: and so that's like the number one thing. If I
Speaker 3: don't care, it's still it's it's cool, but I still
Speaker 3: need to feel safe with that person. Okay, so you
Speaker 3: like cuddling, It's not like I just need to like
Speaker 3: know that you're a good person and they're not going
Speaker 3: to fuck me over and like do some fucked up shit,
Speaker 3: because I've also had that, Like I've I've been assaulted
Speaker 3: by people that I knew and that I trusted. So
Speaker 3: I really have to like feel it in my gut
Speaker 3: that you're a good person and my body is.
Speaker 1: Safe with you, you know, and then I'm free. I'll
Speaker 1: do whatever you do.
Speaker 3: Whatever I always say, I'll try anything once and then
Speaker 3: if I like it, I like it, which I.
Speaker 1: Like a lot. I don't believe anything there's not that
Speaker 1: I don't like. Really, Yeah, okay, let's name some Is
Speaker 1: there anything I haven't tried that you're like, I would
Speaker 1: try this.
Speaker 3: Not really, I've tried a lot. That's okay, No, that's
Speaker 3: actually one that I'm going to try. But there's no no, no,
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna try that. I am going to try that,
Speaker 3: but I have my my My only thing is because
Speaker 3: I want the person to be obsessed with me, right.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: It has to be the I know I have to
Speaker 3: be to me. I need to be the star in
Speaker 3: the bedroom.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's and your enjoy If you're the star. That's
Speaker 4: the only way I can have a threesome. If all
Speaker 4: the attention is on me, it's two people all over me.
Speaker 1: That's doable. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also I like women too, so it would be. It's
Speaker 3: it's a little bit more level. You know. It's cool.
Speaker 3: So it's a good experience for all of us. I know.
Speaker 3: But it's because the ground rules is what I'm struggling.
Speaker 3: That's my problem. I don't know. It's like, who's gonna
Speaker 3: put what where?
Speaker 2: That you have that conversation when you get I've never
Speaker 2: done it, but I would think you would have that conversation.
Speaker 3: Yes, you have to have it before because you know
Speaker 3: what you're getting into. An I want to be able
Speaker 3: to look at you in the face after you know
Speaker 3: you want to.
Speaker 5: Would you like to have it with a girl and
Speaker 5: a guy to girls? Which one with combination? Are you
Speaker 5: thinking about both?
Speaker 3: That's cool?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Have you ever filmed yourself?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that. Are you scared about that ever
Speaker 1: leaking or getting hacked?
Speaker 3: You know what that if it leaks your fucking welcome world.
Speaker 3: That's how I feel about that. I can't control that.
Speaker 4: Ship.
Speaker 1: Hackers are on it right now, Like I do not
Speaker 1: control that.
Speaker 5: If it happens, You're welcome. Don't do it at the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my god, so it's like you're welcome.
Speaker 5: That was the last thing I expect that I want, though.
Speaker 3: She's like, I know my favorite while having sex, Like,
Speaker 3: what's the you have to do it?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I like it all.
Speaker 4: I like it all.
Speaker 3: I like I just like a good switch up to
Speaker 3: you know, like I don't want to be doing the
Speaker 3: same thing witch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that. Sometimes guys know what makes
Speaker 1: you orgasm, and they do that all the time every
Speaker 1: single time. They think that's like what you want. Yes,
Speaker 1: I agree with that because sometimes it's like, okay, we
Speaker 1: could like move it around a little.
Speaker 3: Yes, I've definitely said that, like this is a you know,
Speaker 3: I love this, but you know this is also cool.
Speaker 1: Do you squirt it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I just realized that recently though.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, I know, isn't that amazing?
Speaker 3: I just want to try all the things my body
Speaker 3: can do, and I found out so many more things.
Speaker 5: How did you realize that you squired it?
Speaker 3: Like so masturbation Okay, yeah, I have not squired it
Speaker 3: through masturbation. But it's also because sexual trauma. Like I
Speaker 3: had a really hard time connecting to my body and
Speaker 3: really like letting loose and letting go, and like when
Speaker 3: I finally allowed myself to just like feel and not
Speaker 3: be so in my head. And also the person that
Speaker 3: I trust the most is myself, right, so feeling the
Speaker 3: most comfortable I was by myself and that's what really
Speaker 3: led me to find out I fucked around Abo.
Speaker 1: Have you done it during section only by yourself?
Speaker 3: I've done it, okay on top or how.
Speaker 5: Were you on top or were.
Speaker 3: Not on top?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, different ways but not on top?
Speaker 1: And what about like percentage by how many times did
Speaker 1: you say you orgasm every time?
Speaker 3: Or is it like pretty much every time okay, pretty
Speaker 3: much every time you know your body you know very well. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean I'm a very sexual person, so like I
Speaker 3: really I really do like to. Like I said, it's
Speaker 3: it's been a process to be able to connect back
Speaker 3: to my body. But I'm a very sexual person. I
Speaker 3: love sex, so I've definitely experimented with myself and with
Speaker 3: other people.
Speaker 1: For sure. Do you kiss a lad during sex?
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's so important to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3: I want to kiss for a long time before we
Speaker 3: start doing it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like I'm kissing the neck, the arm goes whatever
Speaker 4: is there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want your throat down, I want I want
Speaker 3: your tongue down my throat.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, your face comes to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah god, yeah, it's great, she said.
Speaker 4: I like it all.
Speaker 1: I do it all baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I know.
Speaker 1: Guys love that. But what about this? What about the
Speaker 1: first time do you ever feel like the first time
Speaker 1: I hold back a little, like the first time you're
Speaker 1: with somebody because you don't want to do it all.
Speaker 3: I'm extreme.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm very extreme.
Speaker 3: If I'm doing it, I'm fucking I was asking.
Speaker 5: Him earlier today. I was like, Hey, the first time
Speaker 5: you have sex, let's talk about a guy you give
Speaker 5: him head the first time. So we had mixed reviews
Speaker 5: and I was saying we should bring it up, but
Speaker 5: I don't know how open she is.
Speaker 1: She was like, I don't want to be you know.
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel like you can talk about it.
Speaker 5: So yes, the first time you're the first time you
Speaker 5: have sex with a guy, you won't give him head.
Speaker 5: She'll do it all, she'll do it all whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I feel comfortable with you. Yeah, yeh, you feel safe.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what we said, Like since we're here and
Speaker 4: we might as well go there.
Speaker 3: Like, I don't know if.
Speaker 1: I don't know if the first time I have sex
Speaker 1: with somebody I would do I would give head because
Speaker 1: just in case it doesn't happen.
Speaker 5: Again, but you gave him, see though I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's fine, but.
Speaker 3: I mean they're like the same thing.
Speaker 1: I like, the second time I would do it, but
Speaker 1: maybe the first time just in case. Is like I've
Speaker 1: never had a one nice stand, but in case that
Speaker 1: it's so terrible, I've always I've always wanted to do it.
Speaker 1: It's never happened. There's been times that I've had sex
Speaker 1: with somebody and I was like this might never happen again,
Speaker 1: and then it did. Yeah, so that's not technically I.
Speaker 5: Thought I had one, but Angela is being a hater
Speaker 5: and said I never had one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she had sex with somebody like multiple times, but
Speaker 1: on a cruise.
Speaker 5: I didn't know them. And then after that they try
Speaker 5: to keep coming back, So then maybe, yeah.
Speaker 3: I've definitely had that where they try to keep coming back,
Speaker 3: but that's not then, but I didn't.
Speaker 5: Then that was a one nice fan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay, I'm not mad at it. I think
Speaker 1: that's an amazing experience, like to go somewhere and meet somebody,
Speaker 1: to have that.
Speaker 3: Chemistry like that strong and then.
Speaker 4: Where I met somebody and we had sex outs time
Speaker 4: and then we never saw each other again. I've had
Speaker 4: that moment like where I met somebody and we locked
Speaker 4: eyes and we got a crazy triathlon of sex the
Speaker 4: first night we met a couple of hours later, but
Speaker 4: then we ended up having them relationship. That's not because
Speaker 4: we we met and we had we went we stayed
Speaker 4: at this famous hotel in the city I can't remember
Speaker 4: right now, but whatever, we stood at this at a
Speaker 4: luxury hotel and we stood for three days just having
Speaker 4: sex and falling asleep inside of each other and ordering
Speaker 4: room service. I swear for three days and I'm like,
Speaker 4: we're leaving. We finally get to the point where we're
Speaker 4: leaving each other and I'm like hugging and them. I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm never going to see you again.
Speaker 4: And he's like, no, You're gonna see me again. And
Speaker 4: I'm like, it's okay. If I never see you again,
Speaker 4: it was worth it, Like we had a great sign.
Speaker 4: But I saw him again the next day and the day.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a woman call your phone like
Speaker 1: another or.
Speaker 3: To be like you and mommy, No, I called after
Speaker 3: my ex cheated on me one of my exes.
Speaker 4: I.
Speaker 1: Called their phone. I wrote a song about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I messaged them on Twitter.
Speaker 4: Oh I remember this hotel Wardorf for story.
Speaker 3: I've never stayed at before.
Speaker 1: That's why I say, that's why I stay when I'm
Speaker 1: in Atlanta in Chicago. Those are my favorites. But it's
Speaker 1: not like crazy, where were we just at?
Speaker 5: Four seasons?
Speaker 1: Four season?
Speaker 4: Four seasons?
Speaker 3: Okay, that's bougie. That is is not like the biest.
Speaker 4: Hello.
Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing. If you travel a lot, you know.
Speaker 5: Listen because we were at the four season. I was like,
Speaker 5: I don't know if they have such us here. She
Speaker 5: was like, this is the four seasons. Fine, okay, okay,
Speaker 5: we'll continue with your story.
Speaker 3: You called. Yeah, So I d m her, I got
Speaker 3: her number, and well, okay, first he told me that
Speaker 3: he cheated on me. So then I was like with who,
Speaker 3: and he was like such and such. No, he didn't
Speaker 3: even tell me at first. I was like with who
Speaker 3: with because he had a guilty conscience.
Speaker 5: It's like he, yeah, my conscience ain't never been that guilty,
Speaker 5: but continue, I'm not myself. I'm gonna deny like a
Speaker 5: nigga on camera.
Speaker 3: And in the back of my head, I didn't turn
Speaker 3: around it with my face, it's a I.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, go ahead.
Speaker 3: So yeah, So I asked him like three times and
Speaker 3: then he finally told me. I found her on Twitter.
Speaker 3: I d md her and I was like hey, And
Speaker 3: I didn't even put blame on her too much. She knew,
Speaker 3: but I was like she was she was also the
Speaker 3: situation was just fucked up, and I was just like,
Speaker 3: I know this isn't all on you, but I just
Speaker 3: want you to know, like I'm a real person and
Speaker 3: that fucking hurt and that you were in a relationship
Speaker 3: three years that whatever. And then she was like, can
Speaker 3: you please like talk to me? And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I would love to call you, and she was like okay.
Speaker 3: So we talked on the phone and she told me
Speaker 3: all the details. Yeah did she know he was in
Speaker 3: a relationship. Yeah, yeah, she knew it was dirty.
Speaker 1: You need to know all the details.
Speaker 3: Stomach. I did. Why because it was my first love,
Speaker 3: and like I think if it wasn't if if it was,
Speaker 3: if I thought that it was how he was presenting it,
Speaker 3: I think it would have been much harder for me
Speaker 3: to leave the situation.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know.
Speaker 3: Oh, like what he would say to her was what
Speaker 3: he said to me a lot when we were fo
Speaker 3: I know it was true, Like she didn't obviously didn't
Speaker 3: know that, and like she told me and it was
Speaker 3: like wow. And then just the way it happened, like
Speaker 3: they had a threesome. I got cheated on a threesome.
Speaker 5: You guys, I don't think I said that. At least
Speaker 5: it's something it was bad because for.
Speaker 3: Me, okay, and I'll open this up to everybody, but
Speaker 3: for me, it's like if if my person is going
Speaker 3: to cheat on me with a one night stand when
Speaker 3: they're drunk, or if my person's gonna cheat on me
Speaker 3: and have an affair with someone that they're in love with,
Speaker 3: I much rather choose. I'd much rather have them have
Speaker 3: an affair than cheat on me when they're drunk for
Speaker 3: one night, because you're throwing away years of a relationship
Speaker 3: for one stupid fucking mistake. You would say if you
Speaker 3: have an affair, I'm like, Okay, at least you were
Speaker 3: in love, like obviously hurt. No, obviously would hurt. But
Speaker 3: I'm like, there was a reason you love her, you
Speaker 3: know her, and I'm gonna die like.
Speaker 1: One night stand or like something that doesn't mean anything,
Speaker 1: because that's so many times you guys think that, like
Speaker 1: I love you, but this didn't mean anything. But it's
Speaker 1: way worse. If it's like I love both of.
Speaker 3: You, but I love both of you for me, It's
Speaker 3: like it's like even disrespectful. That's what I was just saying.
Speaker 3: It feels even more disrespectful to me if you're doing
Speaker 3: it just for fun, random but you're still number one
Speaker 3: in the other stitution in that situation, No there, number one,
Speaker 3: No there, number one.
Speaker 5: So you you you heard all the details about his
Speaker 5: cheating situation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then she told him that we had a
Speaker 3: conversation and then he called me and got mad at me.
Speaker 5: The oh wow, but you know, guys like to turn
Speaker 5: it around.
Speaker 3: He was just like, I can't believe you called her?
Speaker 3: How could you do that? And I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't give a fun.
Speaker 1: So you really broke up after that, because sometimes it
Speaker 1: takes a little while.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we broke So. Also, what was fucked up is
Speaker 3: I had just me and my parents, So he was
Speaker 3: in another country and did this, and me and my
Speaker 3: parents had just moved us in to our own apartment
Speaker 3: two days before we signed, the least two days before
Speaker 3: he told you lie. So I was like, this is
Speaker 3: so fucked up. So we had to talk about the
Speaker 3: apartment after and like and then also I didn't feel
Speaker 3: closure at all because we broke up over FaceTime, Like
Speaker 3: he was in another country for a while.
Speaker 4: Yeah, how did you know that? I don't know?
Speaker 1: Okay, go ahead, did you just guess or do you
Speaker 1: know that? Okay, whoa, that was crazy?
Speaker 3: I was whoa gurball? Yeah no, no, I'm kidding, that
Speaker 3: would be crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I was just like it was.
Speaker 3: It was hard for me to let go obviously.
Speaker 1: Said I need you to be here, like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't need to.
Speaker 3: Well, that's the person that you rely on too, So
Speaker 3: like that was my best friend. I was with him
Speaker 3: for three years. So it's like really really traumatizing and
Speaker 3: like really sad. And that was also like his brothers
Speaker 3: and everyone that was that was like my family, Like
Speaker 3: we all lived together. So it felt like everything, it
Speaker 3: felt like our whole family was breaking up, you know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: And so it was a lot to let go of.
Speaker 3: But when he came back, he came back to LA
Speaker 3: and I was just like, you're a pussy, Like you
Speaker 3: can't even come and see me. For me to have
Speaker 3: a conversation with you, like that's disgusting. And I kind
Speaker 3: of went off and said some shit I probably shouldn't
Speaker 3: have said, but like you did some shit that you
Speaker 3: shouldn't have done.
Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, I was just some of those
Speaker 1: things you can't take back. The problem is that now
Speaker 1: you feel like you're in the wrong, like damn, I
Speaker 1: said some fucked up ship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm I feel guilty really easily. Yeah, Like
Speaker 3: I'm I'm the person that could be innocent and be
Speaker 3: interrogated and like I would.
Speaker 1: Be end up in jail. I just admit some shit
Speaker 1: I didn't even.
Speaker 3: Do because yeah, I'm like, damn, maybe I let this
Speaker 3: and that's why this happened and I'm an accomplice.
Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you this, how does your relationships
Speaker 1: affect work? Like have you ever been with somebody or
Speaker 1: been so in that like you neglected things that you
Speaker 1: had to do or does it feel what you have
Speaker 1: going on?
Speaker 3: I think it fuels what I have going on. I
Speaker 3: think either way, whatever i'm I don't want to call
Speaker 3: it a distraction because it's just life. Like you got
Speaker 3: to live life because life informs are and so whatever
Speaker 3: I'm living on the outside, I'm going to do the
Speaker 3: same amount. Like if I'm going out and partying with
Speaker 3: my friends or doing whatever, that's the same amount that
Speaker 3: I'm going to do where I'm partying with my friends
Speaker 3: and hanging out with the person I'm with, So I
Speaker 3: don't neglect nothing. Work is always really important, and I
Speaker 3: make sure I'm always with people that are really driven
Speaker 3: so and have like really intense, beautiful goals, and so
Speaker 3: I think we both are kind of have the understanding
Speaker 3: always that work is a really important part of our lives,
Speaker 3: especially if we want to get to where we're going
Speaker 3: to go together.
Speaker 1: Oh well, listen, we're really excited if I graduate. We
Speaker 1: just we've heard a few of the songs, but I
Speaker 1: know it's about to come out. You're going on tour.
Speaker 3: Yeah August, No, okay, September, September, October, and I look
Speaker 3: at Christine for these things. September, September. It changes all
Speaker 3: the time, you know.
Speaker 1: I see why people love you so much though, Like,
Speaker 1: this is a really great fun conversation. Very okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: very open.
Speaker 5: And crazy, crazy girl.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm medicated.
Speaker 1: Say I can tell when she don't take her medication too.
Speaker 5: Zz did you take your medicine?
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh shit, okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: She's like, let me get I need a banana, so
Speaker 1: I mood so yes, no, you have to.
Speaker 4: You have to.
Speaker 3: But like I listen, I'd rather be alive and have
Speaker 3: to take medication and be nauseous without eating a banana. Sure, right,
Speaker 3: anything else.
Speaker 5: I had to wait for the kick in, so's all.
Speaker 5: He hasn't kicked in yet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta wait those like forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: How did you know that you were bipolar before? Did
Speaker 1: you know before you were diagnosed?
Speaker 3: So I actually so bipolar skids Aphennie runs in my family.
Speaker 3: And I was told by I experienced the first depressive
Speaker 3: episode that I can remember. I was twelve, and I've
Speaker 3: always dealt with anxiety and depression, and so I thought,
Speaker 3: that's just what I had. And you know, I've always
Speaker 3: been like hyper, pouncing off the walls, and then sometimes
Speaker 3: I would just like become some like some person that
Speaker 3: just like wasn't me, almost like really quiet and just
Speaker 3: like not acting like myself. And so that was kind
Speaker 3: of happening in my whole life. And then I was
Speaker 3: told by two people before I got diagnosed by my
Speaker 3: current therapist that I was bipolar, and I didn't believe them.
Speaker 3: One of them was Jennifer Lewis, who also is bipolar.
Speaker 3: She's fucking amazing, incredible. She she did an outro on Heavy,
Speaker 3: one of my songs about mental health and depression, and
Speaker 3: she invited me to her home and we were talking
Speaker 3: and I was just crying, telling her about all the
Speaker 3: shit that was going on, and she was like, bitcher
Speaker 3: bipolar and I was like, no, I'm not, and she
Speaker 3: was like yes, you are. I'm sorry, but you are.
Speaker 5: She like she recognized me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she gave me some homework and she was like,
Speaker 3: come to me when you're ready. I wasn't ready.
Speaker 4: I didn't.
Speaker 3: I didn't come back to her.
Speaker 4: I was so scared.
Speaker 3: And then a couple months later, maybe I was going
Speaker 3: to this therapist and I couldn't fully trust her, like
Speaker 3: I wasn't really connected to her in that way, and
Speaker 3: she brought it up and mentioned that I was bipolar,
Speaker 3: and I was like, no, I'm not. I never went
Speaker 3: to her again after that because it's just scary, you know,
Speaker 3: it's scary. And then my therapist now I really really
Speaker 3: trust her.
Speaker 1: I love her.
Speaker 3: I think it's also important to have a therapist that
Speaker 3: looks like you, and so it just there's a different
Speaker 3: kind of connection there. And she's so dope, like she'll
Speaker 3: be like she'll be like that's always something. She's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: let me ask you a question. I'm like yeah. She's like,
Speaker 3: do you want doctor or do you want Monica? And
Speaker 3: I'm like that is she is my bitch, Like that
Speaker 3: is my friend. So I really trust her. And she
Speaker 3: mentioned it to me in like a really caring way.
Speaker 3: She was like, what how would you feel if I
Speaker 3: told you that you're bipolar? And we had that conversation,
Speaker 3: and because I trusted her and she kind of eased
Speaker 3: me into it that way, I was like, Okay, maybe
Speaker 3: maybe there's something there, but also like.
Speaker 4: What's the proper way to give it to somebody?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, just like easing someone had, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I really felt like finally, like there's there's
Speaker 3: somewhere to go from here. I don't have to live
Speaker 3: like this for the rest of my life, you know,
Speaker 3: I can really there's a path for.
Speaker 1: Me to feel you can take control of it.
Speaker 3: I don't have to just survive now survive myself. I
Speaker 3: can like actually live and enjoy my life.
Speaker 1: That's great. Well, I'm happy to hear that. And the
Speaker 1: new album, Grudges, comes out June sixteenth. Only one feature
Speaker 1: on this album too, and that's the song lma Right, Oh,
Speaker 1: there's more, because what we have here only has one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's there's more.
Speaker 1: Oh is that secretive or we don't have that it's.
Speaker 3: A secret or can I say? Okay? Christine gave me
Speaker 3: the go ahead, so we have Bryson Tiller, Oh yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: Ella Khalead and I have a those you always.
Speaker 1: Get the heavy hitters though you're a heavy head of yourself,
Speaker 1: but yes you.
Speaker 3: I mean, I really am so honored that I have
Speaker 3: people that are that fuck with me, that are really
Speaker 3: successful and really talented, you know, like they know what
Speaker 3: the fuck they're doing. And I am so grateful that
Speaker 3: they're so genuine, you know, like they really backed me
Speaker 3: and they I can't even tell you how many times
Speaker 3: I've had conversations with them about like the industry and
Speaker 3: how to get through shit, and they're just so fucking supportive.
Speaker 3: So I'm honored that these people want to work with me.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure they love working with you. Thank you
Speaker 1: as well. You know, it's a two way street here.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: And you're not going to be a stranger, no come back,
Speaker 1: yes please? Then, I mean we test on a lot
Speaker 1: of different things, and I think it was a really
Speaker 1: important conversation. So besides being super talented as a writer,
Speaker 1: as a singer, as an actress, anymore acting roles coming up.
Speaker 3: To uh not coming up, but I'm definitely gonna do it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna explore that this next year for sure.
Speaker 1: Okay anything you didn't tell us that we should know
Speaker 1: about to because I want to make sure we get
Speaker 1: it all.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think I said it, but I'm gonna
Speaker 3: say it again. I am number one. I am number one.
Speaker 3: I am that bit, number one, number three babies, I
Speaker 3: am that bitch.
Speaker 5: The next next time she comes, we should do like
Speaker 5: I have.
Speaker 1: Yea, Yeah, I got I got us.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's right.
Speaker 4: Definitely got the plug. I mean I won't I know how,
Speaker 4: but I won't say I'm hitting you.
Speaker 3: Every time I'm in New York.
Speaker 1: No, A thousand percent. I got you. And for sure,
Speaker 1: yeah because family.
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, literally yeah, literally literally literally.
Speaker 4: Amazing And it's a good plug.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's he's official.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's official. He's official. I didn't want to say.
Speaker 1: All right, well, Pianna to day, thank you so much, amazing.
Speaker 3: For having me.
Speaker 4: Thank you,