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Speaker 1: All right, guys, time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And

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Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, sex, work, dating, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. Here it is.

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Speaker 1: We could be reading yours live on the air, just

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Speaker 1: like we're gonna read this one right here, right now,

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Speaker 1: and you never know it could be yours. You never know.

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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: Subject turning a hood dude into a husband. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I'm a thirty year old engaged female and my fiance

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Speaker 1: is thirty four years old. I work as a school

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Speaker 1: administrator and he is a mechanic. We met when he

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Speaker 1: fixed my flat tire and then offered to detail my

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Speaker 1: car for free. He is a tall, thin man with

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Speaker 1: pearly white teeth and a nice throw. I could tell

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Speaker 1: he was a hood dude the minute I saw him,

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Speaker 1: and that's what attracted me to him. He played basketball

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Speaker 1: at a commune Unity center and he invited me to

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Speaker 1: a game. He was bawling on the court and I

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Speaker 1: was very turned on by him. We made love later

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Speaker 1: on that day and we've been inseparable since then. He

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Speaker 1: was rough in bed and cursed a lot initially during sex,

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Speaker 1: but he is more romantic now. After we dated for

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Speaker 1: almost two years, he got a little diamond ring and

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Speaker 1: he proposed. Then. That's when everything got tricky because I

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Speaker 1: never admitted to my friends and family that he is

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Speaker 1: my man. They thought he was just my maintenance man

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Speaker 1: and just for sex until I found mister Wright. They

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Speaker 1: know I like edgy guys, but not this edgy. He

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Speaker 1: curses a whole lot, he uses slang, and he calls

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Speaker 1: everybody the N word. He is very well known in

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Speaker 1: the neighborhood he grew up in, and he's still living

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Speaker 1: in the house he grew up in. I would never

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Speaker 1: try to change him, but I did ask him about

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Speaker 1: getting a ged so he could advance in his career.

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Speaker 1: He said he's going to take over the shop when

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Speaker 1: the owner retires, and he doesn't need a gged for that.

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Speaker 1: He is content where he is in life, so I

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Speaker 1: try not to push him. I plan to take him

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Speaker 1: on trips to other countries so he can see there

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Speaker 1: is more to life than his hood and the auto shop.

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Speaker 1: Some days I love him unconditionally and on the other

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Speaker 1: days I feel embarrassed by him. Can I turn this

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Speaker 1: hood dude into a good husband? Or am I wasting

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Speaker 1: my time? Please advise? See right there, for you to

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Speaker 1: even have to ask that question, there's a problem. And

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Speaker 1: you know the number one rule, ladies. We cannot change them.

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Speaker 1: We can only change ourselves. If there's to be a

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Speaker 1: change in him, he'll have to want to do that change.

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Speaker 1: He'll have to want to do it for you or

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Speaker 1: just want to do it on his own. And second,

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Speaker 1: if this is who you love and want to be

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Speaker 1: with your grown and you don't have to explain him

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Speaker 1: to your friends and family who think he's a maintenance

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Speaker 1: man and not your man. But some days you say

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Speaker 1: you love him unconditionally and other days you're embarrassed by him. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's a problem. That's not good. Okay. You're supposed to

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Speaker 1: be happy with him, you know, and proud to be

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Speaker 1: with him, all of that. You've accepted him for who

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Speaker 1: he is right now. But marriage, marriage is a whole

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Speaker 1: different situation because you're going to grow in marriage, you know,

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Speaker 1: and in life of course, you know there's going to

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Speaker 1: be changed. You don't want to grow apart. You don't

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Speaker 1: want to drift apart because of these differences. You're a

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Speaker 1: school administrator. He's a mechanic who can but won't get

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Speaker 1: his geed, who could make a big difference in his life.

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Speaker 1: He could could go take him further in life. I'm

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Speaker 1: assuming you may. You may use a little profanity at times,

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Speaker 1: but nothing like him, who you say curses a lot,

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Speaker 1: and you mentioned that a couple of times in the letters,

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Speaker 1: so that you know that kind of bothers you. He

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Speaker 1: calls everyone the in word everyone the word. Come on,

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Speaker 1: these are problems. You said he still lives in the

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Speaker 1: house that he grew up in. Now does that mean

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Speaker 1: he lives with his mom because you did not put

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Speaker 1: that in the letter, but in the house he grew

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Speaker 1: up and he grew up with his parents. So you

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Speaker 1: guys already have problems, and I guarantee you marriage will

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Speaker 1: complicate this situation even further. I don't think you two

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Speaker 1: are ready for marriage because you're too unequally yoked right now.

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Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with him being edgy or

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Speaker 1: from the hood. It's just that he doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: better himself and you want much more. You said it

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Speaker 1: in your letter. That's going to frustrate you, irritate you,

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Speaker 1: and your word embarrass you. So right now I say

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Speaker 1: continue dating and don't jump the broom. Steve. See this letter,

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Speaker 1: it just reminds me of me. I just I ain't

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Speaker 1: really I ain't really bothered by this. You know it's

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Speaker 1: thirty year old engage female and fiance is thirty. Folks,

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Speaker 1: you work as a school administrator, Heil McKenny. We met,

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Speaker 1: he fixed your flat tie. Then what the man did

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Speaker 1: was offered to detail it free, right down homeboy working.

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Speaker 1: Then he detailed your car free, tall thin, pearly white teeth,

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Speaker 1: nice afro. Now you said at the time you could

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Speaker 1: tell he was a hood dude, but that's what attracted

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Speaker 1: you to hell. Okay, so what his attraction was he

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Speaker 1: hood dude with your little quote unquote school administrate her self.

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Speaker 1: So now let the fund begin. He do what a

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Speaker 1: hood dude dude? He played basketball down at the center,

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Speaker 1: invited you to come see the game. If I can't

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Speaker 1: do nothing, I can volve, I'm gonna let her come

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Speaker 1: down here. And then you said, on that day he

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Speaker 1: was holy. He came and he flex shot his best shot.

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Speaker 1: Now he was crazy. Right after y'all started bawling, y'all

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Speaker 1: made loud that day. All it took was a couple

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Speaker 1: of jumpers. Yeah, she was turned on. All he did

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Speaker 1: a couple of score some baskets. You passing it out? Oh?

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Speaker 1: He passing the ball? You say my turn? All right,

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Speaker 1: Hold on, Steve, hold that I passed two. We'll have

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Speaker 1: part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three

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Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. Strawberry Letters, subject today turning a

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Speaker 1: hood dude into a husband. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right,

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Speaker 1: come on, Steve, Let's recap today Strawberry letter. The subject

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Speaker 1: turning a hood dude into a husband A little thirty

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Speaker 1: ye old school administrative at the thirty four Ye gonta dude.

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Speaker 1: That's a mechanic. He fixed a car down that in

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Speaker 1: detailing for free or she liked him. She could recognize

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Speaker 1: fact he was a hood boy, but that's what attracted her.

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Speaker 1: He invited her to the basketball game. He played wood

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Speaker 1: down at through Center on that weekend. She came and

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Speaker 1: homeboy with balling. I'm talking about bawling, letting them men

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Speaker 1: all this hell. That turned her on. So right after that,

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Speaker 1: later on that day they made Look, I mean, what

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Speaker 1: you supposed to do after a good game. You know

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Speaker 1: you're here, you know we got time do get nothing.

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Speaker 1: Let's get on, get back in the same you was bawling,

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Speaker 1: you kept passing the ball. Let me pass you something, okay.

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Speaker 1: And then she says after that they were in separable.

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Speaker 1: Now he was rough in bed, and he cussed a

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Speaker 1: lot initially doing sex. Well, you know, the first one,

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Speaker 1: you know it's gonna be some cussom, you know, and

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Speaker 1: then he probably cuss a lot anywhere. I'm a customer,

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Speaker 1: so I know for that first time that brings out

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Speaker 1: some cussing because you, first of all, you can't believe

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Speaker 1: you there, And it's just it's a form of expression.

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Speaker 1: Customis of you know, a lot of adjectives in there

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Speaker 1: that can be used in various places. See, custom is

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Speaker 1: a very limited vocabulary. It's only I don't know, maybe

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Speaker 1: I think it's maybe twelve cuss words. You know, I

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Speaker 1: use the top four all the time. But it sad,

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Speaker 1: but these cuss words mean different things at different times.

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Speaker 1: You know, you know, all hell now can be applied

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Speaker 1: a lot of different ways, so you Scott to know it.

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Speaker 1: So he doesn't have a large vocabulary. But the custom

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Speaker 1: doing sex is all hell. Now, man, I can't believe

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Speaker 1: in hellboard is a good I'm feeling something. Oh y'all go,

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Speaker 1: it's teeling and all this, say all this producers because

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Speaker 1: but let's move on. But now he's yeah, he's remote romantic.

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Speaker 1: Now now y'all been dating for two years. He got

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Speaker 1: a little diamond ring and he propossed you. Say, that's

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Speaker 1: what it got tricky because I knew you had never

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Speaker 1: admitted to your friends and family that he was your man. See,

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Speaker 1: they thought he was your maintenance man for sex until

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Speaker 1: I found mister Wright. So that's see this your fault.

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Speaker 1: See this the little this, the little image you tried

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Speaker 1: to portray. I'm just doing him just to be doing something, girl,

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Speaker 1: But you didn't want to admit you was in love

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Speaker 1: with your brother. See in all of this latter right here,

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Speaker 1: you know what I see, I see a good man.

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Speaker 1: But now let's talk about this. They know you like

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Speaker 1: edgy guys, but not this edgy what you mean, not

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Speaker 1: this edge just the one that asked you to marry it?

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Speaker 1: What you mean you don't like him, this edgy, this

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Speaker 1: one that didn't proposed to you. What you mean you

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Speaker 1: don't like him? This edgy? This one then lasted two years. See,

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Speaker 1: you got to quit line to yourself because it's really

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Speaker 1: a good dude. Now here we go. He cusses a

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Speaker 1: whole lot, he uses slang, and he called everybody the

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Speaker 1: N word. So we do what And I am very

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Speaker 1: familiar with this line in the letter right here, he

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Speaker 1: cusses a lot, he uses slang. He called everybody the

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Speaker 1: N word. Now I don't call everybody inn word. But

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Speaker 1: if you're my dude, though, I'm gonna just keep it

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Speaker 1: real with you. But now if you ain't my dude,

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Speaker 1: and you ain't black stepped light, but I never used

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Speaker 1: I never use that a people that's not in my circle.

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Speaker 1: So if you said to me, please understand, the reaction

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Speaker 1: will be swift and severe. He is very well known

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Speaker 1: in the neighborhood he grew up in. I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: on the rail and were now fit to play? Okay,

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Speaker 1: he is very well known in the neighborhood he grew

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Speaker 1: up in, and he's still living in the house he

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Speaker 1: grew up in. Well, that don't mean he stayed with

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Speaker 1: his mama. That just means that's the houses Mom and

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Speaker 1: Nel grew up in, and he bought it. He got

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Speaker 1: the house. I don't think he lived with his mama never.

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Speaker 1: I would never try to change him. But I did

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Speaker 1: ask him about getting the GD so he can advance

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Speaker 1: in his career. He said, he taking over the shop

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Speaker 1: with the ownery time. He don't need no damn GD

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Speaker 1: for that. That's his plan. Now. He's content where he

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Speaker 1: is in life. So I try not to push him. Well, see,

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Speaker 1: now that's where you come in as a woman. Women

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Speaker 1: do find a way to help push and motivate it.

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Speaker 1: Ain't push your motivation. You can find a way to

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Speaker 1: motivate him. Now. See this is why I note we

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Speaker 1: all the way in. I plan to take him on

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Speaker 1: trips to other countries so he can see theres more

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Speaker 1: to life than his hood and the auto shop. Now,

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Speaker 1: listen to me, don't do that. Don't don't do that,

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Speaker 1: take his ass out to country. I'm gonna tell you

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Speaker 1: this right now, y'all gonna wind up. You've seen the

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Speaker 1: show locked up abroad, get your ass in that situation here.

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Speaker 1: Listen to me. You can't take his ass out of

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Speaker 1: the country. Best place you can take his ass is Vegas.

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Speaker 1: He can go to Venice out there. He can go

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Speaker 1: to Italy out there, and he can go to New York.

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Speaker 1: You can go right on the strip and visit two places.

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Speaker 1: You can go New York. You can go to Paris

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Speaker 1: and you can go to Venice. You can go that.

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Speaker 1: Don't take his ass out to country, y'all. Ass is

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Speaker 1: gonna be locked up abroad and don my remarks today.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM,

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast

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Speaker 1: on demand coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,

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Speaker 1: our girl Cheryl Underwood. Right after this, you're listening to

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Speaker 1: this Name Harvey Morning Show