Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.
Speaker 2: Today. We actually have a really interesting set of topics
Speaker 2: we plan on going over. We're gonna start with bug bites.
Speaker 2: Has the biggest bug bite?
Speaker 3: Who in the room has the biggest bug bite? Oh
Speaker 3: my god, I actually did kill a huge fucking spider
Speaker 3: in my room, which if I have any photos I'll insert.
Speaker 3: But while I was in Italy, I was sleeping with
Speaker 3: the biggest, baddest bug in town, like, and he was
Speaker 3: eating me.
Speaker 4: He's digging it.
Speaker 2: And at first I thought I had mosquito bites, and
Speaker 2: then in like pictures.
Speaker 4: They're tiny.
Speaker 3: My boobs are much more like if you had a
Speaker 3: box of cake mix and you were home alone and
Speaker 3: you're like, fuck, I don't want to make this whole cake.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna but
Speaker 3: it's a cake mix that has the icing like in
Speaker 3: the packet, like a macaroni and cheese packet. So you
Speaker 3: like make half the batter half everything, and then you
Speaker 3: go to squeeze some of the icing out, but you
Speaker 3: don't use all of it, and then you squish all
Speaker 3: the icing back down to the bottom.
Speaker 2: Really gross boob.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you squeeze all of the frosting back to
Speaker 3: the bottom to save the rest of it, and then
Speaker 3: you put that in the fridge, and then you know
Speaker 3: when the milk and the or the water releases from
Speaker 3: it the moisture, and then it's just like a dry
Speaker 3: pound of like weird pudding. And then it's the milk
Speaker 3: that's kind of the texture and vibe my boots.
Speaker 4: Yeah, laughing a little too hard at that.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm laughing because it's so un true. Your body's beautiful.
Speaker 3: Everyone knows that my body is a temple. I wouldn't
Speaker 3: know because I paid top dollar for it. I spent
Speaker 3: so much money. I spent so much money on like
Speaker 3: injectibles and surgery less.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, like once you start, you can't stop. I
Speaker 4: have both talks on my arm.
Speaker 2: It's just everywhere. I gotta put it everywhere. I can't
Speaker 2: even lie.
Speaker 3: That is part of the reason why I don't interact
Speaker 3: with anything from that world. I'm like, dude, I'd rather
Speaker 3: bro what shall God render with this like body, Like
Speaker 3: I'd rather leave it up to the hands of faith
Speaker 3: in terms of what I'm going to look like than
Speaker 3: ever know the like other end of like knowing how
Speaker 3: easy it is to change something that you don't like
Speaker 3: about yourself. I think delving into that is as crazy
Speaker 3: as like a gambling addiction, because thing, you're literally getting
Speaker 3: the same fucking hands.
Speaker 4: It's blasphemy. Wait whatever, paying them for the poison. Yeah wait,
Speaker 4: we're paying they feed us poison to sell us the cures.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 3: Also, though, now there's that really contagious and viral superviral
Speaker 3: has going viral.
Speaker 2: It's going so viral.
Speaker 4: It's yeah, flat tummy tea essentially, it's.
Speaker 2: God, it's Nature's flat tummy tea.
Speaker 3: It's a diarrhea based sickness, which actually I'm pretty sure
Speaker 3: diarrhea does kill a lot of people on ironically, because
Speaker 3: it dehydrates the fuck out of you and people don't
Speaker 3: realize how bad it can.
Speaker 4: That's like what the mosquito disease like does like malaria,
Speaker 4: it makes you like shit all your liquid out your ass,
Speaker 4: and then that's what like trench.
Speaker 2: Warfare, malaria is a pretty good.
Speaker 4: Let me make sure malaria symptoms Like.
Speaker 3: If psha Paide is named her baby malaria, we would
Speaker 3: be like, it looks really good in script font think
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 5: My friend said, diarrhea if it wasn't for wet poop,
Speaker 5: it would actually be a very beautiful name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it feels very destiny like.
Speaker 4: And also I think like a name like mantis.
Speaker 2: Okay, but.
Speaker 3: It is kind of fine opals. Just first of all,
Speaker 3: now it's Taylor Swift.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And also, guys, can a girl get married?
Speaker 2: Can a girl get married in peace?
Speaker 4: Well? That did not land, guys, I take that back,
Speaker 4: It did not land.
Speaker 3: Well did you did you see how quick I was
Speaker 3: to do pre p R cleanup in case this viral
Speaker 3: stomach bug turned into the thing that kills us all?
Speaker 2: Remember y'all before you come at me, I said, I know.
Speaker 4: Tips off, that's off, that's off. Yeah, that disease is
Speaker 4: really fascinating. I think we should get tape. Yeah, it's
Speaker 4: a huge, but let me see it.
Speaker 5: No, it's like so it's like somebody hit it with
Speaker 5: a hammer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, three guys, won hammer. You alas saw that video.
Speaker 2: Of course, we gotta get me a little hammer. I
Speaker 2: should know that's gonna be my halloween. You know that?
Speaker 4: Of course? Eighty six thousand times. Actually we maybe asked
Speaker 4: him that eighty five thousand.
Speaker 2: I know I'm not getting guys. That came out of
Speaker 2: my mouth.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, I've lived this moment so
Speaker 3: many times in this one like that also.
Speaker 5: His first straight guys go, you don't really get to
Speaker 5: be more of an ally than me. Of course I
Speaker 5: know that.
Speaker 4: I agree. Me and Ky almost kissed when he was
Speaker 4: walking out of the bathroom peeing.
Speaker 2: Okay, you ordered me.
Speaker 5: You wouldn't let me go around you to get to
Speaker 5: my seat, the way.
Speaker 3: You feel about Orion, and I like, right here, at
Speaker 3: some point, y'all are just gonna have to get married
Speaker 3: and like, admit you're together and it's gonna have to
Speaker 3: come with having sex. That's how I genuinely feel about
Speaker 3: you and Cotton. Yeah, I think one day, I think
Speaker 3: you guys are just gonna have to do it, just
Speaker 3: to rip the band aid off.
Speaker 4: It would be fun for me.
Speaker 5: I have to crack.
Speaker 4: At least it would be fun for me.
Speaker 5: It would be horrible for me, but I would let
Speaker 5: you do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can see where you're coming from.
Speaker 4: It would be hilarious.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it would be really funny.
Speaker 4: It would be the ultimate bait.
Speaker 5: Kai if somebody put a gun to both our heads
Speaker 5: and I was like, you guys have to have you
Speaker 5: needed rivalry like intimate missionary sex and you cannot laugh.
Speaker 5: We would die.
Speaker 4: Everyone in the world would die.
Speaker 5: Everyone would die.
Speaker 4: Everyone would die. Dude, looking at you that well.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, wait something I was.
Speaker 3: The reason I was mentioning the gut disease is because
Speaker 3: good news for everybody who eats processed food, because produce
Speaker 3: is off the table because we don't know where it's
Speaker 3: coming from.
Speaker 5: Podcast.
Speaker 4: That's why I'm surviving.
Speaker 2: Oh, we're becoming a good current about podcast. By the ways,
Speaker 2: off the runway.
Speaker 5: Jers and wearing his hat sideways. Can you show the
Speaker 5: camera just so they.
Speaker 2: Can get all I am You're just not going to
Speaker 2: mention it?
Speaker 5: Well, you pull everything off like obviously you're so confident,
Speaker 5: But Drew, you had it more before, like when I
Speaker 5: walked very confident. Yeah, you guys comment down below if
Speaker 5: you think this is okay, this is cute. This dude,
Speaker 5: it's fucked up. It's disrespectful to everybody in the room.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 2: Well, our second topic of the day asked a questions.
Speaker 4: We didn't talk about the bug bites.
Speaker 2: Oh we did it?
Speaker 4: We did did we did it?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: I can I can show photos here? Any photo from
Speaker 3: Italy of me with my stomach out. I didn't want
Speaker 3: to post because it literally I looked like I got
Speaker 3: attacked because my stomach had two huge spots that were
Speaker 3: like just like bubbles.
Speaker 4: I think I have the biggest bug bite right now?
Speaker 2: Where is it?
Speaker 4: I have three bug bites on my back mosquitoes.
Speaker 2: No, mosquitoes don't really count as bug bites.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this episode is produced by your side. By the way,
Speaker 5: he gave us a topic topic because you guys are
Speaker 5: always saying, oh, you guys need topics, you need structure. Okay,
Speaker 5: well here it is. Yeah, we're gonna they're gonna talk
Speaker 5: about who has the big spug bye, and then Josiah
Speaker 5: that we have to talk about who would be the
Speaker 5: better uber driver.
Speaker 4: And it would be me. I'm such a safe driver, no,
Speaker 4: especially with other souls in the car.
Speaker 2: Guess who did y'all hear who? Josie said, no, did you?
Speaker 5: I did? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he said you, he said me.
Speaker 4: I didn't even know that. I actually agree with that
Speaker 4: I would be the best. I agree with that.
Speaker 3: I'm very driver I don't want to have because I
Speaker 3: can't stand and like y'all are both people I would hate.
Speaker 4: Actually, no straight white man wins again.
Speaker 3: Driving I think a handful of times a handful of
Speaker 3: what You're like a whatever driver.
Speaker 5: No, I'm a good driver.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you're like too overly cautious.
Speaker 4: No he's not.
Speaker 5: No, I'm not. You've been in the car with me,
Speaker 5: and I'm kind.
Speaker 2: Of like reckless as far what am I?
Speaker 5: What am I giving?
Speaker 4: You're giving? Like you know when those dudes like cut
Speaker 4: up in traffic, like in the BMW's and they like
Speaker 4: kind of crashed the cars. You're giving that but safe.
Speaker 4: You're my everything big. I think I would my nothing
Speaker 4: burger and my everything bagel.
Speaker 2: Thank you. No, I'm your everything.
Speaker 4: Burger, know everything bagelill I.
Speaker 3: Want to be your everything burger, Like I want the burger.
Speaker 3: You know you get like a cheeseburger, kai cheeseburger. I'm
Speaker 3: the everything burger.
Speaker 5: Cheeseburgers are good people like this.
Speaker 3: I love a cheeseburger. But like I'm I'm upper echelon,
Speaker 3: like you dress me up. You can't send me out
Speaker 3: there naked like that, dilized, like I am the burger
Speaker 3: they're shooting for the commercial. You're the burger, but I'm
Speaker 3: the gay berger. What the fuck, I'm the gay burger.
Speaker 5: That's the top three most hurtful things anyone's ever said
Speaker 5: to me. Drew is animal fries. Yes, thank you, Anya.
Speaker 5: Look look how affection should just Drew's my animal fries.
Speaker 4: Thank you. I'm like, secret menu.
Speaker 3: Because you're so messy, because.
Speaker 2: You taste like nothing.
Speaker 4: How can you make everything hateful?
Speaker 2: Is a super power?
Speaker 4: Okay, So I had. I walked into the living room today.
Speaker 2: I feel like nobody was really face with this.
Speaker 4: No, we can see your face.
Speaker 2: I feel like my whole face you're.
Speaker 4: Hidden behind the mic. I walked into the living room today.
Speaker 4: I put this outfit on. I felt really cute. I
Speaker 4: was like, wait, this is.
Speaker 2: A cute outfit.
Speaker 4: It's like I wouldn't I like it.
Speaker 2: It's good, Okay, keep going because.
Speaker 4: I would wear this out like I would like go
Speaker 4: out and about in this, Like it's like my casual ship.
Speaker 4: It's like wearing sweatpants, but like dressing it up kind
Speaker 4: of like this is cute walking into the living room.
Speaker 4: I'm standing there and you just looks at me, and
Speaker 4: she says, is that what you're wearing on the podcast?
Speaker 4: Yes you did. I will go and grab Joe Sidry.
Speaker 3: Anybody watching Love Island. By the way, I feel like
Speaker 3: Jennifer right now. So I'm actually or Jen. Let me not,
Speaker 3: let me not use her full government name. That's her
Speaker 3: GUV name. Your gout, I'm.
Speaker 4: Jen, I'm Gout. There's one's names as gout maybe, yeah,
Speaker 4: gout like the foot disease.
Speaker 2: Yes, he works at a coffee shop in Venice.
Speaker 4: Oh work? Is it the one that looks like me?
Speaker 2: And his name is Goal but it's pronounced goal gal.
Speaker 2: I don't know this.
Speaker 3: That's one of those things where sometimes like names like
Speaker 3: really fuck me.
Speaker 4: Up, name being gout. You know what gout is, right?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Gow.
Speaker 3: It's like that's what the fucking hose and the UK
Speaker 3: we're dying of. It's like it eats up your.
Speaker 2: Body from the foot up pretty much, okay, making all
Speaker 2: those funky faces keep talking about this fucking thing.
Speaker 4: Well, there's nothing else to say, and you like shaded
Speaker 4: the funk out of me.
Speaker 2: I caught a crazy I said, is that what you're
Speaker 2: wearing on the app?
Speaker 4: No, you did not say it like that, she said,
Speaker 4: she said, is that what you're wearing on the episode?
Speaker 2: I probably said, like, oh, is that what you're wearing?
Speaker 4: You're emphasizing the wrong word.
Speaker 2: Is that what you're wearing on the episode?
Speaker 4: No, no, see what you're wearing.
Speaker 2: I'm not putting all that energy.
Speaker 4: So it's crazy. You can change like an entire sentence
Speaker 4: with the annunciation, is that what you're wearing? Is that
Speaker 4: what you're wearing?
Speaker 2: Let me not laugh too bad.
Speaker 3: Because the phonic related lessons that are missing right now,
Speaker 3: and that's why no one could say anything like is.
Speaker 4: That what you're wearing? Period?
Speaker 2: I didn't say it in a rude way. I like
Speaker 2: your outfits, giving very mad happy shoes bit like, yes, yes,
Speaker 2: I love it. I love it, but I wouldn't personally
Speaker 2: go outside in it.
Speaker 3: See because personally right now, I'm just speaking from a
Speaker 3: place of like where I'm at in my personal journey.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't wear this outfit out, and especially if I
Speaker 3: knew I was going to run into somebody who are like,
Speaker 3: I gave a fuck.
Speaker 4: That was a little too hard. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: You know what's crazy is it felt good?
Speaker 3: It kind of felt like you know those videos where
Speaker 3: they put like they literally have people hanging from their
Speaker 3: necks workout studio. No leave it dented, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: leave the marks of when when you left.
Speaker 4: Of whence you left me of when you left?
Speaker 2: What was I saying?
Speaker 4: You were just literally being mean about?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I think it's really good. You look cool.
Speaker 2: It's a good outfit. I'm just saying, like, can you
Speaker 2: stand up?
Speaker 5: Should be doing like as in this outfit too, because
Speaker 5: I don't know if they saw that.
Speaker 3: Okay you No, no, you need to tuck in your
Speaker 3: shirt by the way, because mind you this whole time, No, no,
Speaker 3: no no, it was tucked to cheerboxers when you came out,
Speaker 3: and when I asked the question, no no, and your
Speaker 3: pants were pulled out more and your shirt was hella
Speaker 3: tucked in. And because Josie had to point out, I
Speaker 3: was like, well, yeah, why is your shirt all?
Speaker 4: That was an accident? Well, I just pissed right now.
Speaker 2: If I was showing somebody my showing off my outfit
Speaker 2: aka standing around waiting for a couple of mins, I
Speaker 2: would make sure I looked good.
Speaker 4: I was not doing that. I just came in to
Speaker 4: talk like I feel like.
Speaker 2: Jin Jen Jen love Island bibs. Same fucking thing, very different,
Speaker 2: very very different. Character doesn't exist.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wish I'll knew about it so I could
Speaker 3: talk more about it, because that's kind of all I
Speaker 3: want to talk.
Speaker 4: About is talk about it.
Speaker 3: No, it's not as fun to talk about guys who
Speaker 3: know nothing about Love Island. It's very different a gorgeous
Speaker 3: woman staring at you because she doesn't know anything about basketball.
Speaker 2: You can only beg for so much to have two
Speaker 2: white guys in an underlit corner with an iPhone on
Speaker 2: a tripod on the table in front of him.
Speaker 5: I was going to ask about that. Could we get
Speaker 5: some lighting just to like it up a little bit
Speaker 5: over him?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: We jos you up up a little you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, i'd also. You guys are in makeup for three
Speaker 5: hours before episodes. Can I get something it's like it's prosthetics.
Speaker 2: Baby, Yeah, we would. I think it would cost too
Speaker 2: much for what to make you look like. There's even
Speaker 2: work that's.
Speaker 4: You just do like a little touch.
Speaker 2: Oh did y'all see that building in Manhattan that was buckling?
Speaker 4: Mm hmm, No, I didn't see the hat is buckling. Well,
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, and that's the episode I should.
Speaker 5: We do media?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Right, what were you gonna say that my body's buckling
Speaker 5: under like my boat?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say they it's because you took it uper
Speaker 2: helicopter to the top of that building, and when they
Speaker 2: dropped you down the building, it found buckled under pressure.
Speaker 4: Oh time, he made sure to grab his cup of
Speaker 4: vodka though.
Speaker 2: Yeah he can't, he can't go anything there, made sure.
Speaker 4: To grab the vodka vodkas?
Speaker 5: Is it okay that I drink all the time?
Speaker 2: And I started to honestly, it's your personal journey, Like,
Speaker 2: I'm not want to judge.
Speaker 4: I think everyone should be doing heroin and drinking all
Speaker 4: the time. Yeah, oh I want heroin.
Speaker 3: Should all of us start drinking every day for like
Speaker 3: twenty one day straight like an obscene amount, and then
Speaker 3: on the twenty first day just stop all together and
Speaker 3: tell no medical professionals about it or see what happens.
Speaker 5: Wait, did we talk about the girl on TikTok that
Speaker 5: was doing the drinking bender challenge?
Speaker 4: Oh no, I didn't. I have heard it.
Speaker 2: We talked about it, but I saw it.
Speaker 4: Wait, I need to know what this is.
Speaker 5: It was a girl, I think it was like a
Speaker 5: month ago, and she was doing a challenge to drink
Speaker 5: every day.
Speaker 4: That's sad.
Speaker 5: And she got to the end and she was like,
Speaker 5: I actually think I'm just gonna do another like ten days.
Speaker 2: I actually feel better and actually literally and then I
Speaker 2: was just on her to talk and she stopped drinking again,
Speaker 2: and I think it went for ten days like she
Speaker 2: was gonna do hard seventy five to balance it out,
Speaker 2: and then on day eleven she went.
Speaker 4: Back to, Oh, it's like the hard seven the easy
Speaker 4: seventy five. Let's make that a thing, you know, the
Speaker 4: hard seventy five or easy you know, the hard seventy
Speaker 4: five where you have to have a boner for seventy
Speaker 4: five days.
Speaker 5: No, that's not that's not what it is.
Speaker 4: So I've been doing it wrong this whole time.
Speaker 5: Are you serious? How many days have you had a boner?
Speaker 4: Fourteen?
Speaker 5: That's have you been stuff?
Speaker 4: Uh saline and viagra or cialis. But I started to
Speaker 4: see blue. My picion is just blue.
Speaker 2: Everything is blue. Wait? Is that what Halsey was doing
Speaker 2: when she.
Speaker 4: Wrote that, Yes, she was taking a bunch of viagra.
Speaker 4: You know that is literally a symptom that happened to
Speaker 4: me one time I took a viagra. Yeah, I took
Speaker 4: half of a pill because this guy I was hooking
Speaker 4: up with was really, really hot, and I was scared.
Speaker 4: I was gonna have performance anxiety. So I took half
Speaker 4: of a viagra and the drive over my vision turned
Speaker 4: blue and went to the dentist. She was doing on
Speaker 4: my teeth. She took all of them.
Speaker 2: Well, who do you.
Speaker 4: She took all my teeth? No, she was like flossing
Speaker 4: my ship and like she's really like it's really like
Speaker 4: she's really mean to me, but like in like a
Speaker 4: sweet way. Yeah, a couple times, and every time she
Speaker 4: like asked me the same questions I tell her, and
Speaker 4: she's like, oh, yeah, I remember da da da My
Speaker 4: daughter does the same thing. Da da da da da.
Speaker 4: And she's like tools up in my mouth. I can't speak,
Speaker 4: and I'm like oh, and I just like said something
Speaker 4: that like set her off. Oh, her son is going
Speaker 4: to school for economics, and I like made a joke.
Speaker 4: I was like, h rough time to have a degree
Speaker 4: in economics, and bitch, she like started cutting my ship up,
Speaker 4: going hard, and then she stopped, no, literally, and then
Speaker 4: halfway through she stopped and she was like, are you
Speaker 4: taking any medications? And I was like finasht nam innoxidale.
Speaker 4: And then she was like, oh, that's for your hair, right,
Speaker 4: and I was like yeah, and she was like, well,
Speaker 4: I was asking because you have the bloodiest gums I've
Speaker 4: ever seen a patient have before. And I was like, yeah, obviously,
Speaker 4: you're literally cutting me right now, like it hurts so bad,
Speaker 4: Like I was like wincing. I never winced. And like, also,
Speaker 4: like right before I got told that going to the
Speaker 4: dentist is just them scratching your bones with metal picks.
Speaker 4: And that is the most haunting thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 4: I just watched Kai do a recording check and it
Speaker 4: was really sexy. It was like it was sexy. It
Speaker 4: was like when the lifeguards are like doing that like
Speaker 4: scan and they look like a robot.
Speaker 5: Yeah you feel safe right now, huh, not me talking
Speaker 5: you through it.
Speaker 4: I got y'all.
Speaker 3: Well, I am gonna admit that I have not been
Speaker 3: to the dentists in like a really long time. I
Speaker 3: actually can't remember the last time I went to the
Speaker 3: no cabvities, no cavities.
Speaker 5: Wait, you should flystroue, you should I do fly.
Speaker 2: He does not flass. She does not fly. He does not.
Speaker 3: He does not fly. He barely brushes his teeth after
Speaker 3: that fucking post. The tits the bottom of it, so it.
Speaker 4: Not put that allegation on me mother, because you are
Speaker 4: dead asleep by the time I'm eating.
Speaker 2: I will admit, yeah, I usually am asleep before you eat.
Speaker 4: But I have beautiful teeth, beautiful no cavities. If I
Speaker 4: didn't brush my teeth, I wouldn't have cavities.
Speaker 2: I have never been to a dentist. I haven't been
Speaker 2: to a dentist in like a minute.
Speaker 3: This is bad, but I I am like, I'm actually
Speaker 3: o d about my like picking in my mouth and like, yeah,
Speaker 3: my teeth.
Speaker 2: I've been told I was a kid. I like, I.
Speaker 4: Yep, just as I thought, mm hmm, yeah, I knew it.
Speaker 4: I fucking knew it. I knew it.
Speaker 2: Fuck.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I over brushed my teeth. But I don't
Speaker 3: do that as much now that I've had perzact. But
Speaker 3: it actually used to be really I used to brush
Speaker 3: my teeth after like even just drinking water a.
Speaker 2: Few times because I used to think that I was
Speaker 2: putting the germs in my mouth back into my cup.
Speaker 4: Hum and bottles too, bottles bottles like you know, like a.
Speaker 2: Uh smaller bottle of soda.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I never used to put those back in the fridge
Speaker 2: because I was like, well, if I don't finish it now,
Speaker 2: It's gonna explode with bacteria. It would basically be a
Speaker 2: nuke from my stomach and kill me. Yes, if I
Speaker 2: put it back in the fridge. Yes, is that true?
Speaker 4: No? I honestly like, it doesn't seem like easy for
Speaker 4: bacteria to growing.
Speaker 2: Like, what are the dynamicies of that?
Speaker 4: I've been the family dynamicies of the BACTERIAI.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: Last night, me and Enya slept through a fire alarm
Speaker 4: that was going off from god knows when till Josh
Speaker 4: got home.
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna admit something, I was not yet, so
Speaker 2: I did get up, but Rain had left, I had
Speaker 2: gotten in bed. I was like falling asleep. It went off.
Speaker 3: It went off first, and then I stood up, and
Speaker 3: by the time I stood up, it stopped going. I
Speaker 3: was like, okay, maybe it's done. And I knew you
Speaker 3: were asleep, so I was like, and I was listening.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, that didn't wake him up, and
Speaker 3: then it went off again, and I immediately got up
Speaker 3: and sorted to go over to that side of the house.
Speaker 2: But I literally got scared.
Speaker 3: You guys, I was like, oh my god, someone is
Speaker 3: definitely hiding in one of those rooms and putting smoke
Speaker 3: up to that detector so I could come in.
Speaker 4: There and girl, wait, what is it? I need to
Speaker 4: stop smoking with paranoid people, Like, what do you mean
Speaker 4: is that Michael Jackson? What do you mean Yoji yamamotos
Speaker 4: What do you mean that's Yoji yo Yoji Yamamoto maquinner? Okay, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Did sleep through it, and then I woke up. I
Speaker 2: had a fucking panic attack and came and slept it.
Speaker 2: Mama's bad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I had a full blown melt down at like
Speaker 4: two thirty in the morning. But I woke up because
Speaker 4: I was having like the worst nightmare of my life
Speaker 4: that I actually can't even talk about. I can't talk
Speaker 4: about it. No, it was so bad, dude.
Speaker 3: I used to have such bad nightmares, but now because
Speaker 3: I smoked so much weed, I don't have any more dreams.
Speaker 2: And that's okay, because most of my dreams are nightmares.
Speaker 2: And I've said that even before I started smoking weed.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also, so there's there. Yeah, there's too much of my
Speaker 2: brain to avoid.
Speaker 4: I took half of a xanax last night.
Speaker 5: Did it feel good?
Speaker 4: It literally felt so good. I'm not even kidding it literally,
Speaker 4: and then we went to bed. Yeah, it felt really awesome.
Speaker 4: I actually like stayed up for another couple hours. And
Speaker 4: what Yeah, since I charged my fitbit, I got my
Speaker 4: sleep score and I'm averaging like in ninety one. Sometimes
Speaker 4: I dipped to like an eighty. If I don't get
Speaker 4: seven hours whatever, bitch, Wait, you stayed up. Yeah, I
Speaker 4: stayed up. I freaked out till like four in the morning.
Speaker 2: Oh that sucks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I didn't really need it. I just
Speaker 3: took the other half because I was like, well, don't
Speaker 3: go put that back in there. I need to go
Speaker 3: back to it. Because also, all of this happened because
Speaker 3: I had drank. I don't drink as much coffee as
Speaker 3: I used to, and I used to be one of
Speaker 3: those people who would say caffeine doesn't affect me, but
Speaker 3: it fully fucking does. So I tried not to have
Speaker 3: them late. But that night rain was over and we
Speaker 3: wanted to play video games, so I drink a latte.
Speaker 3: So I had just taken my two milligram of melatone
Speaker 3: in before the fire alarm started going off. And that's
Speaker 3: also what made me so freaked out. When I went
Speaker 3: downstairs to go and try and turn it off because
Speaker 3: I was like at that point of melotone and induced
Speaker 3: em where I genuinely thought I was in a dream.
Speaker 3: And then I didn't know if Josh was still home.
Speaker 3: And then I was like, wait, did I put on
Speaker 3: the alarm before I went to sleep? And I was like,
Speaker 3: I haven't seen Drew for five hours, Like what if
Speaker 3: they already killed Drew? Like I literally started scaring myself.
Speaker 3: So I went back up to my bed because I
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, I'm still a little bit sleepy that
Speaker 3: I could fall back asleep and get I'd rather get
Speaker 3: killed in my sleep.
Speaker 5: Mmm.
Speaker 4: No, I literally like last night I was thinking about it.
Speaker 4: I was like, it would be awesome to die in
Speaker 4: my sleep.
Speaker 2: God forbid, God forbid, God.
Speaker 4: Forbid, God willing?
Speaker 2: What was I saying that type of time? But like
Speaker 2: I would love to die like old age.
Speaker 4: I was just telling Josiah that. Today I was like,
Speaker 4: I'm tired of this, Like I want to die at
Speaker 4: sixty five. I want to die at seventy five, Like
Speaker 4: I don't want to ship at that black so long,
Speaker 4: Like the local news is coming to my Fuck, y'all
Speaker 4: are going to be wiping your kids your kids are
Speaker 4: going to be wiping my ass like my soggy fucking
Speaker 4: loose ran through me and Ya on the fourth did
Speaker 4: discuss that we're gonna get our She's going to get
Speaker 4: her eggs frozen. Yeah, I need to, and then I'm
Speaker 4: going to take one out.
Speaker 2: They see.
Speaker 4: I'm never going to do you want to ask us
Speaker 4: a question?
Speaker 3: I'm also scared of the doctor because I'm scared Perian.
Speaker 5: Don't be Okay, I'll see you has a question. Because
Speaker 5: it's a podcast, so we have to talk about it's
Speaker 5: a podcast, so we should we Well, no, we're we're
Speaker 5: doing a podcast. We're on episode two hundred and forty seven.
Speaker 2: But we live here.
Speaker 4: It digs Oh wait, oh my god, debut debut.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sit seven, my chitty, my chitty, see seven, my
Speaker 3: chitty seven.
Speaker 4: Also this squeak.
Speaker 5: Dead silent.
Speaker 2: I really love this shirt because it looks like the
Speaker 2: cafe packaging.
Speaker 4: Okay, I thought you're going to say something hateful. Oh
Speaker 4: my gosh, I just said. It's like when Josiah comes
Speaker 4: up to me, like I flinch because I think he's
Speaker 4: about to like hit me or bite me or pinch
Speaker 4: me or tickle me. It's like anytime you say anything,
Speaker 4: why did you.
Speaker 2: Add on those other things? You just wanted to say
Speaker 2: hit me? Be true? Sure he hits me, and that's
Speaker 2: okay because you deserve it.
Speaker 4: I was saying something earlier.
Speaker 5: You were saying something very smart.
Speaker 2: Wait, you were going to ask a question now.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I was gonna ask you as a question, Yeah,
Speaker 5: would you rather hook up with You have to hook
Speaker 5: up as one of your parents. You can choose which
Speaker 5: doesn't matter, or you have to check off with poop
Speaker 5: from a guy that with poop from the guy that
Speaker 5: ate glass. It's the glasses all No, it's in little
Speaker 5: shards in his we're talking like fiberglass. No, we're talking
Speaker 5: glass from like like a normal glass.
Speaker 2: Why do you say fiberglass would be I think, oh
Speaker 2: yeah that would suck.
Speaker 5: But glass.
Speaker 4: I'm talking to my mom.
Speaker 5: Really, that's fucked up.
Speaker 2: I'm killing myself bo.
Speaker 5: And yeah, that's the secret. Third thing. Every single time you.
Speaker 3: Like no one, I'm not kidding hypotheticals, you could break
Speaker 3: them because you could just kill yourself, because there's no
Speaker 3: world where you could saw me from killing myself.
Speaker 2: And I actually that's what I want to do. That's
Speaker 2: what I'm going to do.
Speaker 4: And I'm not joking. I think that is like a
Speaker 4: sign of autism. Like, I'm not joking. I think like
Speaker 4: not being able to understand hypotheticals is like a sign
Speaker 4: that you're like leaning a little far on the spectrum.
Speaker 4: That's not no no, no, no no no no, that's
Speaker 4: a thing. That's a thing.
Speaker 5: Okay. What I think that's a sign of is your genius,
Speaker 5: because that's how Steve Jobs would think, here we go,
Speaker 5: there's no nothing.
Speaker 4: Is what's the difference?
Speaker 3: How many episodes two hundred and.
Speaker 4: Six in someone who's autistic?
Speaker 2: I mean that's my take.
Speaker 4: Spectrum people on the spectrum not being able to understand hypotheticals.
Speaker 2: Hypotheticals are just like also a waste of time.
Speaker 4: Autistic individuals often struggle with hypothetical scenarios because they tend
Speaker 4: to process language that's not it and rely on concrete reasoning,
Speaker 4: making abstract what if questions confusing instead of the ability
Speaker 4: inability to imagine it is an executive functioning difference, requiring structured,
Speaker 4: step by step information to grasp.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: I take that back. Context blindness, literal thinking. Autistic brains
Speaker 4: generally understand language exactly as it is stated, rather than
Speaker 4: how it might be implied.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that America is getting its karma kiss
Speaker 2: for the two hundred and fiftieth year, and I need
Speaker 2: somebody to interview the guy who parachuted down.
Speaker 4: It's literally the best video of all time. Insert yeah,
Speaker 4: literally someone to interview him. Is exactly what it feels
Speaker 4: like America's going through. And then this stage falling on
Speaker 4: those dancers.
Speaker 2: Yes, dude, almost fucking killing someone.
Speaker 4: What's crazy is it's so white trash.
Speaker 2: Any of those events are catastrophic or like life changing enough.
Speaker 2: For instance, that guy crashing with that parachute. Do you think,
Speaker 2: even beyond his own wish for it, he may have
Speaker 2: some sort of PTSD response where he is then fully
Speaker 2: liberal because like he was covered in the flag head
Speaker 2: to toe.
Speaker 4: Can I derail the conversation for one second before I
Speaker 4: forget it? Yeah, gay guy pt yas D. Okay, you
Speaker 4: know what?
Speaker 2: Thank you for asking?
Speaker 4: Yeah, PTOs D. Gay guy who goes through a traumatic
Speaker 4: event has PTOs D.
Speaker 2: Wait, but it wouldn't be PTS. Don't think about it.
Speaker 4: Well, there's four s's in yas one of those.
Speaker 5: Is it official amount of vests? So he would have
Speaker 5: a PTSD response making it.
Speaker 2: Like the American flag.
Speaker 3: Because it happened on the fourth of July, it was
Speaker 3: on like a huge like especially for the right wing.
Speaker 3: They were like like this was literally their met Gala,
Speaker 3: Like they thought they were about to be given their
Speaker 3: personal met Gala and they got given poop and crap
Speaker 3: out of the But Grammy's twenty twenty five. Wow, that's
Speaker 3: what they got given. You don't get the Grammys? Do
Speaker 3: you want he hit the Grams?
Speaker 5: She hits sir, Mmm, was that a Sydney Sweety impression?
Speaker 4: I'm serious, No, it wasn't.
Speaker 5: I was just wondering because I was like, is that
Speaker 5: something that she said, because it sounded like did I go.
Speaker 2: To the comedy club tonight? Put my hand?
Speaker 5: Yes, Oh my god, them calling your name and it's
Speaker 5: your silhouette at like the back door and she'll see
Speaker 5: the hat.
Speaker 4: And it's just impression impressions.
Speaker 5: So sad that we never got the opportunity for one
Speaker 5: of like the DJ shows, is you being introduced as
Speaker 5: like a special guest DJ and then it's your silhouette
Speaker 5: on a sheet.
Speaker 4: With didn't we were trying to like that, We were.
Speaker 5: Trying to we just have the budget.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have the contract. We have the contact for
Speaker 2: the people who callucate the budget. Maybe we callucate for
Speaker 2: the budget. We do a lot of allocating.
Speaker 4: We're allocating. If we just allocate, we.
Speaker 2: Just put our minds to it. We allocate.
Speaker 4: We didn't keep allocating towards the budget. Bro, if the
Speaker 4: budget is allocated, if I had not.
Speaker 2: Fucked up at a bar and I was a pathological
Speaker 2: liar and I needed to lie to financiers and ship,
Speaker 2: that's how I would get gone. That's the thing is,
Speaker 2: we got to take the budget allocated for different things.
Speaker 4: Tipping the hat period period. Well yeah, well I love
Speaker 4: the way you just apperiod. I was actually I woke
Speaker 4: up in someone else's house. I woke up in someone
Speaker 4: else's bed.
Speaker 2: Dude, I can't believe James Charles really his last Like.
Speaker 4: Why did that remind you of James Charles?
Speaker 2: Because it was like a weird gay guy.
Speaker 5: A weird gay guy.
Speaker 4: Wow, some gay people.
Speaker 2: And that's why I had to put weird in front
Speaker 2: of him.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2: It's not just any like for who gay was weird?
Speaker 4: And yeah that was fucked up?
Speaker 5: Drew, Are you okay?
Speaker 4: What she has me picking up my thumb again. I'm bleeding.
Speaker 2: I remind you of the girls high school?
Speaker 4: What I forgot what I was saying, dude, James Charles, Oh.
Speaker 2: I can't believe. And it's like doomsday.
Speaker 3: Preparation of getting Houston as a like reoccurring pedophile was
Speaker 3: to try to launch a pop career.
Speaker 2: Map company, but it didn't work. After you've been a
Speaker 2: makeup artist for a decade. The pop star bien is.
Speaker 4: Not it is not going to activate baby. And also, like.
Speaker 2: I'm just really finals are acting right.
Speaker 4: Like pop star career starting.
Speaker 2: It's when I dropped that sequel. I know if y'all
Speaker 2: got my back.
Speaker 4: In your heads, zero fans would be dead.
Speaker 2: Are going to the moon? Oh my gosh. I really
Speaker 2: hope I got in.
Speaker 4: I know what are we gonna do if we didn't?
Speaker 4: What are we gonna do if we don't get in?
Speaker 2: I might kill myself?
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too done?
Speaker 2: Look out for that.
Speaker 4: Okay, another question.
Speaker 5: Another question, did you guys vote for?
Speaker 2: I didn't vote.
Speaker 4: I actually didn't vote this year. It's too confusing.
Speaker 2: I felt sick.
Speaker 4: I didn't like either of them.
Speaker 2: I was feeling very conflicted. I was feeling very conflicted
Speaker 2: by the two oppossessions.
Speaker 4: No, I voted for Hillary.
Speaker 3: Dude, do you all think people are going to vote
Speaker 3: for the midterms? Are people too busy like being enchanted
Speaker 3: by the world.
Speaker 4: They should be called like the tier, Yeah, the top
Speaker 4: the top tier cookie terms because midterms is like, that's
Speaker 4: mid ye for the kids.
Speaker 5: I actually forgot that we all voted for Kamala because
Speaker 5: I was thinking about I was driving today thinking about
Speaker 5: the election. I was like, Oh, it was Biden versus Trump.
Speaker 5: I completely forgot that. That's like who ended upvoting.
Speaker 3: Also because the second, like the second she lost and
Speaker 3: the second he got into office, like this was the
Speaker 3: term he was going to do the jump drive ship
Speaker 3: for all the ship he laid out, so there wasn't
Speaker 3: even a second. Yeah, there was, like, I think, less
Speaker 3: than like in the first ninety days.
Speaker 2: He had so much shit going on. We barely had
Speaker 2: time to fucking mourn the fact that life is gonna crumble.
Speaker 2: And you know what, I'm happy, I ironically, I'm happy
Speaker 2: her life was in the way that she just got
Speaker 2: to get that book deal and go the fuck.
Speaker 4: Yeah she she and she vanished, Yeah she vanished.
Speaker 5: Yeah, where did she go?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is how you guys should take not that
Speaker 3: are you guys are nignaped and I'm already home, so
Speaker 3: don't even turn that back on me.
Speaker 2: I've come in love from my own. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 5: Another question, dude, Let me think of one. Talk about
Speaker 5: the meme that you're gonna bring up, and then I'll
Speaker 5: come up with.
Speaker 4: A really good Oh my god.
Speaker 5: Also, Drew, I'm wondering, what is the green thing on
Speaker 5: your chair? What is that? Can I see it? Can
Speaker 5: I look at it?
Speaker 4: This?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I was just can I look at that?
Speaker 4: It's cat urine, It's cat piss.
Speaker 2: It actually makes you feel very good, only for three seconds, though,
Speaker 2: then you're gonna feel the worst you've ever for the
Speaker 2: rest of your.
Speaker 4: Life, you know, and you already hit it. Good luck.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, I know this meme is like
Speaker 4: washed as fuck, but I really love it. It's like
Speaker 4: it's it's resonating with me. He's trying to ignore it.
Speaker 3: I think if I found weed in my kid's room,
Speaker 3: I would just incite and plant the fear of a
Speaker 3: greenow and pure psychosis in paranoia, and I'm just gonna
Speaker 3: I would just be like, dude, I know it might
Speaker 3: be fun right now, but it gets so fucking scary
Speaker 3: after a few times, it starts to feel fucked up.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say that if I founded in my
Speaker 4: kid's room, i'd nap him up and say, you're fucking lit, bro,
Speaker 4: that's sick. Yeah, I'm the cool dad.
Speaker 5: That's me as a dad too, We're the cool dad.
Speaker 4: If I found weed in my i'd smoke with him.
Speaker 3: If I found weed to my daughter's room, I would
Speaker 3: go to the dispensary. I would first smoke what she
Speaker 3: had and be like, hmm, okay, I think this is
Speaker 3: leaning hybrid if I know her, Yeah, And then I
Speaker 3: would go and I would like buy a bunch of
Speaker 3: things and she'd get back and it'd be like one
Speaker 3: of those like bundle like baskets for you. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 3: but with like like stuff like little snacks and stuff.
Speaker 3: And then if I caught my son with weed in
Speaker 3: his room, I would call an uber pool and then
Speaker 3: have it take him to the police station.
Speaker 2: But I would put all the weed.
Speaker 3: And you know that Sandy leang best she did with
Speaker 3: all the pockets, yes, transparent one. At least put him
Speaker 3: in a bit of an archive. Because this will be
Speaker 3: like some ten years in the future, twelve fifteen years
Speaker 3: in the future.
Speaker 2: So then I would.
Speaker 4: This smoking weed.
Speaker 2: There's a four years bad piece of shit.
Speaker 4: So what were we saying? Kids smoking weed? A bunch
Speaker 4: of fucking bullshit?
Speaker 2: Saying a whole bunch of bullshit. I I like that.
Speaker 4: I went to the car wash. I had like a
Speaker 4: very big day. I went to the dentist and went
Speaker 4: to the car wash. And at the car wash, was
Speaker 4: that today? No, this is two days ago. Okay, well, no,
Speaker 4: I'm getting to the fun part.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I didn't even let me finish. Boys, if a girl
Speaker 4: says I want you to come for me right now,
Speaker 4: that means she's over it.
Speaker 2: Okay, can you finish? What the fuck you were saying
Speaker 2: your car water?
Speaker 4: I don't know if I do want to talk about it.
Speaker 5: I just thought, so, you're gonna tell us the most
Speaker 5: boring normal shit ever.
Speaker 4: No. I got cornered by a really scary person that
Speaker 4: was dressing his wounds, and he was like kind of
Speaker 4: yelling at me, and we were having a conversation. Rather,
Speaker 4: he was talking at me about a bunch of things,
Speaker 4: very insane psychobabble, Like I couldn't follow anything. He was saying,
Speaker 4: and it happened because I was sitting in the sun
Speaker 4: and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna sit
Speaker 4: in the shade, and I didn't realize that he was
Speaker 4: a little loose screw loose in the head. And eventually
Speaker 4: I keep I keep trying to get up and leave,
Speaker 4: like I'm like I actually at one point I'm like, dude,
Speaker 4: I have to take a piss, and he was like wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 4: I'm almost done, almost done. And then eventually I see
Speaker 4: my car pool around it just got washed. Are doing
Speaker 4: that inside, and I'm like, hurry up, hurry up, like
Speaker 4: I'm literally about to be attacked, because he starts getting
Speaker 4: agro with me because I'm trying to leave. And then
Speaker 4: eventually I'm like, oh, there's my car and he's like
Speaker 4: it's not done. Your car's not done, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: I have to I have to leave, and he's like
Speaker 4: I forget what he said. After I have to leave,
Speaker 4: but I kind of hustled to my car and then
Speaker 4: the guy's like, oh, we're not done yet, and I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, it's fine, I have to get out
Speaker 4: of here. This dude follows behind apparently he's a regular
Speaker 4: there and the guy washing my car is like, dude,
Speaker 4: I told you you're not allowed to be here, Like
Speaker 4: this isn't like just a hangout spot for you, And
Speaker 4: then he starts getting really physical and aggressive with the
Speaker 4: guy that was washing my car, and it was really
Speaker 4: scary because that could have been me. He had wins,
Speaker 4: he had like wound juice all down his arm.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I saw a satellite video from like four wildfires.
Speaker 2: Happening, and the top comment greened me out so bad
Speaker 2: because I was like, I don't know if I'm miss
Speaker 2: like reading or understanding the situation, but the top common
Speaker 2: is but they don't have videos of UFOs like that
Speaker 2: was the top the sixty two likes, and granted it's
Speaker 2: not a very popular video, like how he.
Speaker 3: Jumps like because they're you're seeing satellite images of an
Speaker 3: active fire.
Speaker 4: I mean I kind of see his point, Loki.
Speaker 5: I see his point. But then immediately I'm like, well,
Speaker 5: they have advanced technology, so they can obviously they keep
Speaker 5: their craft.
Speaker 4: Say that word.
Speaker 5: Again, not me talking you through it, Not me talking
Speaker 5: you through it?
Speaker 4: Now you say obvious, Bulin, Right, Yeah, they can. They
Speaker 4: have invisibility cloaks. Obviously, they have invisibility cloaks. They can
Speaker 4: just like there, it's like mirrors facing down. So when
Speaker 4: you're looking up, did.
Speaker 2: You see them more In Salt Girl mob dance in? Mom?
Speaker 4: Wait, what did you the Morton Salt Girl dance?
Speaker 2: Dude?
Speaker 3: I don't know why the Moreton Salt Company trying to
Speaker 3: put on like a PR event in Kansas City of
Speaker 3: all places.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think that's where it started.
Speaker 3: So they were like, yup, yup, where I was gonna
Speaker 3: do our big one? And they had these girls, these
Speaker 3: fucking dancers. I actually feel bad for them, show.
Speaker 4: Up and like how old were they?
Speaker 3: Like kind I'm assuming, like if not our age, like
Speaker 3: a little younger maybe, But they had all these dancers,
Speaker 3: and like Kansas City based influencers pull up to this
Speaker 3: thing and they're like, Oh, we're doing this big event.
Speaker 3: You're really gonna want to be there, And like they
Speaker 3: said out this really dramatic emo being like we're gonna.
Speaker 2: Do like esscentially be like we're gonna do our big one.
Speaker 2: You don't want to miss it. It's gonna be a
Speaker 2: viral moment. Have your cameras out.
Speaker 4: I mean, fierce is fierce, honey, She loves being the lead.
Speaker 4: I sent it. Wait, why would they give them like
Speaker 4: fake instruments?
Speaker 2: I don't really.
Speaker 4: This is actually scary.
Speaker 2: This is like someone was allocating the budget.
Speaker 4: The budget was allocated.
Speaker 5: That's kind of like cockwork Orange.
Speaker 2: But I think more in Salt company has been trying
Speaker 2: to cover it up because there's girls who posted videos
Speaker 2: from behind the scenes, and because if you were making
Speaker 2: fun of it. They're having these.
Speaker 3: Poor girls take down their fucking videos from this event
Speaker 3: they were a part of. And like most of the
Speaker 3: girls aren't even saying anything bad. It's just like random
Speaker 3: videos they all did in like the locker room while
Speaker 3: waiting before they had to, like I don't know, go
Speaker 3: out this Union Square of CA in the city and
Speaker 3: like stop around with fake guitars.
Speaker 2: I really don't understand why the Morton girl would have
Speaker 2: a guitar.
Speaker 4: I know, I don't get it. Did you all see
Speaker 4: MK Ultra files are being spoken about in Congress.
Speaker 5: I thought that was already astablished, that that was like
Speaker 5: real eight is.
Speaker 4: I think they're like trying to release the rest of
Speaker 4: the files. Jesus, I thought of a cool script about
Speaker 4: MK ultriump. I don't know what this is it's it's
Speaker 4: a lot.
Speaker 5: It's it was like the CIA. The CIA was giving
Speaker 5: people LSD and it's all confirmed as real. They were
Speaker 5: giving civilians LSD and making them go crazy and then
Speaker 5: they would torture them. Also, maybe this there's this book
Speaker 5: I forget it's about the CIA. Do you know what
Speaker 5: I'm talking about?
Speaker 4: I know exactly, I don't know the name.
Speaker 5: I'm blanking on the name. But apparently I think maybe
Speaker 5: this is misinformation. I don't know, but I think the unbomber.
Speaker 4: Was also ya Yah one of them.
Speaker 5: But that's like a really nice information. We do love
Speaker 5: to spread that. But I'm jchul Ultra is real. They
Speaker 5: gave people drugs and that made them go crazy.
Speaker 4: There's like this one story about this dude who worked
Speaker 4: for the CIA and loved doing drugs and he was
Speaker 4: just given a bunch of money and he was like
Speaker 4: diagnosed sadist and they gave him a bunch of money,
Speaker 4: clearance and immunity to like start a brothel. I think
Speaker 4: he started like six brothels with a specific one. It
Speaker 4: was like a hotel room and then a mirror on
Speaker 4: the wall, but it was a see through room and
Speaker 4: the brothel girls would dose the dude's drinks with LSD
Speaker 4: and then he'd watch them freak the fuck out, and
Speaker 4: he would kind of like have these girls torture him
Speaker 4: and shit. Meanwhile, the whole time behind the mirror, he
Speaker 4: is just snorting coke and heroin and like stealing money
Speaker 4: and shit, and like it was literally pointless, completely and
Speaker 4: utterly pointless. Like they didn't have any scientific data to
Speaker 4: take from it. It literally like that is what he
Speaker 4: said in his final report, is like nothing from it.
Speaker 4: And then he wrote a letter like after he was
Speaker 4: long retired into the CIA, and was like he said
Speaker 4: some really creepy shit, and it was just like, where
Speaker 4: else or when else would I have ever been able
Speaker 4: to like pillage, maime, kill, torture and snort as much
Speaker 4: shit as I did with the total immunity from the
Speaker 4: US government. It was fucking crazy.
Speaker 2: Did people like that. I'm just like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: if we lived in my country'd be awesome because I
Speaker 2: would have you like fully butt naked in the middle
Speaker 2: of the Times Square, but it'd be a time score
Speaker 2: where no children live in the city. It'd be like
Speaker 2: a city of like angry people, like friendly woods.
Speaker 3: And then they would all in the morning wake up
Speaker 3: to a bunch of stones on their front port, and
Speaker 3: they would be invited for Continental breakfast and the square
Speaker 3: alongside throwing your stones at this man, but you wouldn't
Speaker 3: throw owns it until he dies because I kind of
Speaker 3: like the idea of it being like more docile angry people,
Speaker 3: like older angry people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, who didn't get the chance to be angry.
Speaker 2: So it'd be a small town of that, so any
Speaker 2: retirement home and then just like let him dry out
Speaker 2: like beef jerky and like hang in there for a
Speaker 2: few days and just like people could pelts him whenever
Speaker 2: they're having like a frustrating time in their day.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if anybody wants to look into it, it's called
Speaker 4: Operation Midnight Climax.
Speaker 5: Do you think people like once you're building, they're building
Speaker 5: and you're and you're installing this two way mirror and
Speaker 5: then for a moment you see your reflection like installing
Speaker 5: the mirror and you have like the file of drugs.
Speaker 5: Do you think there was ever a moment where he's like, damn,
Speaker 5: I'm like a bad guy. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean he talks about it in his letter he
Speaker 4: sent so funny. Yeah, he was like I suck, but
Speaker 4: like I loved it.
Speaker 5: Speaking of people in institutions that are maybe bad firefighters
Speaker 5: overall good. I do think this. But my cousin is
Speaker 5: a firefighter, and you have a mustache. He does have
Speaker 5: a musk, the gay one. It's not the gay one.
Speaker 4: No, I never saw a picture of your gay cousin.
Speaker 4: I might have to have sex with him.
Speaker 5: No, that's not appropriate before you Also, yeah, you're gonna
Speaker 5: have to get through me. Okay. So my cousin said
Speaker 5: that the most most of the people that are arsenists,
Speaker 5: not most of them, but a high percentage, like a
Speaker 5: very high percentage are ex firefighters. Firefighters. I've heard of
Speaker 5: this because they are like they really attracted the fire,
Speaker 5: and its like that's the job that you do to
Speaker 5: legally play with fire basically.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've heard of that before.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So yeah, and most strippers.
Speaker 2: So your cousin is an arsenist.
Speaker 5: No, No, he's actually he's not a firefighter. He's a
Speaker 5: fire detective. Cool.
Speaker 4: That's fine.
Speaker 3: Okay, So now we know if we ever wanted to
Speaker 3: knock Kai out of the picture, what don't do with
Speaker 3: fire because his cousin would start typing up?
Speaker 5: Was that even an option in your head was to
Speaker 5: like burn me.
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no, we can't talk about We
Speaker 4: can't talk about that. I can't talk about the friends. Dang,
Speaker 4: I'm not kidding. I can't talk about it.
Speaker 5: I know it's some time for media yet, but I
Speaker 5: just I just can't wait. I just can't wait. I
Speaker 5: saw Maddie's Secret.
Speaker 4: The other night.
Speaker 5: It is so thank you, it's really funny. Shout out
Speaker 5: to Eric.
Speaker 2: And I actually also saw it. I saw it first.
Speaker 2: I Oh, what screening time did you go to? I
Speaker 2: literally went to the three thirty one. I wish you
Speaker 2: told me.
Speaker 5: In the afternoon. Where you went to the three thirty
Speaker 5: one in the afternoon? Huh in the afternoon? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 5: so I went to seven fifty in the morning. So
Speaker 5: because that's I've always want step ahead exactly, that's exactly right.
Speaker 4: Well I went two days before you guys, simply not okay.
Speaker 5: Sorry, Oh, I just want to say shout out to Eric.
Speaker 5: And Eric is plays John Early. John really plays like
Speaker 5: this beautiful woman in the movie, and Eric is her husband,
Speaker 5: the character's husband in the movie, and they have these
Speaker 5: really funny sex scenes that are like insane, and Eric
Speaker 5: is a friend of mine. I want to say shout
Speaker 5: out to Eric, because you're very talented. You pulled it
Speaker 5: off and that was very funny and actually I scored laughing.
Speaker 2: I want to see that movie, soun.
Speaker 5: If you're listening to watch it, do it. I was
Speaker 5: just like commanding the audience to go watch the.
Speaker 4: John and Kate Berlant need as many tickets bought as
Speaker 4: they possibly can get because they are genius comedy minds
Speaker 4: that I really need to be able to keep making stuff.
Speaker 4: Because I watched Would It Kill You to Laugh? The
Speaker 4: thing they did with A twenty four and ironically one
Speaker 4: of the funniest things I've seen maybe ever. It might
Speaker 4: be my favorite piece of comedy, Like made me I
Speaker 4: need to watch. Uh, it was so fucking good and
Speaker 4: like they are so funny. Also, mind you like really
Speaker 4: really really good actors, Like yeah, not just comedy actors,
Speaker 4: Like there was a scene where I was like, damn,
Speaker 4: y'all are acting y'all dicking balls off, like this is crazy.
Speaker 4: Two of my heroes, So shout out them.
Speaker 5: The funniest thing I've ever seen is you on the
Speaker 5: Plates Reformer.
Speaker 4: I think, what about me on the Scibyan That wasn't funny.
Speaker 5: I was locked.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm still confused at something Kay said earlier. I like, literally,
Speaker 4: it's been bothering me all fucking day long. He said
Speaker 4: seven thirty week.
Speaker 2: No, but then he said work. He said seven thirty work,
Speaker 2: So I think he was saying, does the week of
Speaker 2: seven thirty works?
Speaker 5: It's really gonna I'm going to give the audience some
Speaker 5: context here and insert it. I made a typo that
Speaker 5: was very very easy to understand. Give and the context
Speaker 5: clues that people pick up on at like age four
Speaker 5: or five whenever objects what you're not three.
Speaker 2: Five year old would not like.
Speaker 4: I'm a very mature different.
Speaker 5: I'm a very optimistic. I texted them this, I'll insert it,
Speaker 5: and they have been bullying me. But guys continue bully
Speaker 5: a man with mental illness.
Speaker 2: Oh easy? You should kill yourself?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I just like that.
Speaker 3: That's your cryptin night. You got to be illness. I
Speaker 3: know exactly how to get you yourself. Rule number one
Speaker 3: make the enemy hate themselves?
Speaker 4: Is that really rule number one? No?
Speaker 5: I just like rule number one is divide and conquer.
Speaker 2: Well, Rule number one is if the person you want
Speaker 2: to jump kill is suicidal, why you gotta get your
Speaker 2: hands one girl.
Speaker 5: And this is why I think you're so you're very smart.
Speaker 2: Continue well, my media of the week is speaking.
Speaker 5: Of the World Cup. I had were sounding like a voozilla.
Speaker 4: And sadly, sadly, Mexico did lose, but we made out
Speaker 4: of my butt while it was sounding like a vowela
Speaker 4: for Brazil, who also lost.
Speaker 5: It's just I'm sorry, and you know that that was
Speaker 5: actually like a very I interrupted you in a very
Speaker 5: violent way just now. I want to apologize because you
Speaker 5: were doing it.
Speaker 2: I think you don't have scary dreams tonight.
Speaker 5: I probably will every night. Actually I wake up from
Speaker 5: the night I wake.
Speaker 2: Up from tonight.
Speaker 4: Made you wake up her work up? Oh wait, we
Speaker 4: didn't finish the explanation.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Kai is just always drunk, so he always
Speaker 3: has crazy typos like sorry, sorry, we can't tell when.
Speaker 2: You're drunk or not anymore.
Speaker 4: Hold your glass up, all done?
Speaker 5: This was all pop off, all that plastic, the modicle
Speaker 5: that comes in a plastic bottle, and you know it's crazy.
Speaker 5: I don't even care if I feel better anymore. I
Speaker 5: just want to feel different.
Speaker 4: Mmmm. That's really sad. I'm sorry at.
Speaker 2: Some shit like a fourteen year old would say after
Speaker 2: like not smoking shit, I'm gonna be saying when I
Speaker 2: finally go on to tolerance break if I ever get back.
Speaker 4: I saw someone tweet saying, imagine being justin Bieber, like
Speaker 4: getting high as fuck on weed, like just smoking a
Speaker 4: joint and then like getting paranoid because there's fourteen year
Speaker 4: old girls literally cutting themselves because you smoke weed, and
Speaker 4: he's like smoking It's funny. Never ever, ever fucking put
Speaker 4: me in a situation, bro.
Speaker 3: Situations are happening every day that I've never partaken on this, and.
Speaker 4: Don't put me in one of them.
Speaker 3: My media, my media is morning dude, don't buy Beyonce.
Speaker 4: Oh you out?
Speaker 2: You know? You know.
Speaker 4: I watched Ciicario finally, trying to think if I watched Circario. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: I watched that finally. It was fucking awesome, very good.
Speaker 4: I can't believe I've gotten this long without seeing it.
Speaker 4: Very frustrating. It's like it's like when I finally get
Speaker 4: on antidepressants and they actually work this time, and I'm
Speaker 4: going to be like cool, I wasted twenty three years
Speaker 4: of my life being depressed.
Speaker 5: Not a waste.
Speaker 4: I wasted eighteen years of my life being depressed.
Speaker 2: They'm gonna stop taking by prozac?
Speaker 4: No, do not do do not do that.
Speaker 2: Oh so everybody thinks I'm evil without my prosac No,
Speaker 2: they didn't say that. No died. No, I was dude.
Speaker 2: I was fucking insane. That was crazy.
Speaker 4: Maybe you still are.
Speaker 3: I know I I And that's that's why I'm saying
Speaker 3: that's insane. Like that's the craziest part. The craziest part
Speaker 3: is like, oh, I'm.
Speaker 2: I'm sick here here like now I can just control
Speaker 2: things a bit better and I can see I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: that's like, don't what like.
Speaker 5: The soft box right here would be nice for yourself,
Speaker 5: like a blow.
Speaker 4: Don't call any of that.
Speaker 5: I wasn't talking about. I wasn't talking about any of
Speaker 5: his clums.
Speaker 2: Soft box, your loose box.
Speaker 5: Oh I'm hard pull and I have a tight little
Speaker 5: ballue knot.
Speaker 4: Kay has a tight little fucking bussy. Hairy bussy.
Speaker 2: I literally hate the idea of men's like but hairic.
Speaker 4: Bye guys, love you
Speaker 5: M