1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,000
Speaker 1: This is cole Minor, John, this is coal Miner Sale.

2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,440
Speaker 2: And we have been digging for stories on the Okay

3
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,920
Speaker 2: Storytime podcast as long as we can remember saying.

4
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,280
Speaker 1: And we've found some diamonds of the rough, how haven't we? John?

5
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:10,680
Speaker 1: That's right?

6
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,480
Speaker 2: But before we do that, we have to wade through

7
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,520
Speaker 2: two more minutes of incredible ads from our sponsors keeping

8
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,680
Speaker 2: us finding more great stories on the show.

9
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,480
Speaker 3: I discovered I have a secret kid and my wife

10
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,079
Speaker 3: left me.

11
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,800
Speaker 1: Oh, the worst combo imaginable.

12
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,400
Speaker 3: My wife, Amy, thirty five female left me thirty six

13
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:33,040
Speaker 3: mail after I was contacted by an X and discovered

14
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,400
Speaker 3: I had a son. He was born three years before

15
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 3: I married my wife and there was absolutely no overlap

16
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,279
Speaker 3: or cheating in my wife and I his relationship. This

17
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,120
Speaker 3: happened a month ago, and I requested a paternity test.

18
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,040
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Throwaway Family Left and

19
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,519
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

20
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,239
Speaker 3: the rs slash Okay story Time Separate it.

21
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:50,839
Speaker 4: So.

22
00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,680
Speaker 3: Amy didn't say much while we waited for results, but

23
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,480
Speaker 3: agreed that if I was the father, I needed to

24
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,840
Speaker 3: be in my son's life in every way possible. We

25
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,560
Speaker 3: ago the results came back that I am the father,

26
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,600
Speaker 3: and immediately Amy said she wanted a divorce and began

27
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,040
Speaker 3: packing her and our child's belonging.

28
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:14,920
Speaker 1: Wait, y'all have children. That's n's insane.

29
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,600
Speaker 3: I was thinking, maybe she's like, I never wanted kids. Yeah,

30
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,120
Speaker 3: free life. They already have a kid. Yeah, she's not

31
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,120
Speaker 3: even taking into account that.

32
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,080
Speaker 5: I'm immediately so suspicious.

33
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,160
Speaker 1: I don't what was she up to where she's like,

34
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,200
Speaker 1: finally a perfect way for me to get out of

35
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:34,280
Speaker 1: here without being the bad guy.

36
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,880
Speaker 3: That's what it feels like, because she already has a kid.

37
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,600
Speaker 3: He didn't cheat, He hasn't said I expect you to

38
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,240
Speaker 3: be involved in this kid's life.

39
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:43,160
Speaker 5: This is so weird.

40
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,040
Speaker 3: I was confused and asked her why, but she cried

41
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,720
Speaker 3: and said she loved me. Amy and I have been

42
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:54,320
Speaker 3: married for ten years. Ten years just divorced you immediately

43
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:55,760
Speaker 3: finding out you had another kid?

44
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:56,480
Speaker 1: What did she do?

45
00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,160
Speaker 3: Our marriage had been pretty damn close to perfect. Oh,

46
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:04,200
Speaker 3: serious arguments, same goals. We've traveled the world together, we

47
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:09,079
Speaker 3: have a beautiful home, rewarding careers, and fantastic children together.

48
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,200
Speaker 3: You have multiple kids.

49
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,720
Speaker 5: Something is afoot.

50
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,560
Speaker 3: I am so heartbroken that she's thrown everything away. I

51
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,080
Speaker 3: feel like my life has been destroyed. I have no

52
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,360
Speaker 3: clue what to do. I have begged and pleaded for therapy,

53
00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,440
Speaker 3: and my wife refuses. She has started the divorce process.

54
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,919
Speaker 3: The next issue is custody of our children and terms

55
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,679
Speaker 3: of our divorce. All four of our children are young,

56
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:39,480
Speaker 3: not even in school yet. You children, what's one more?

57
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,320
Speaker 1: What did she do? She did?

58
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,480
Speaker 3: What did she do?

59
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,919
Speaker 1: She cheat on you with like your.

60
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,280
Speaker 5: Dad or something like? She had to have gone so nuts?

61
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,600
Speaker 3: All four of our children are young, not even in

62
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,840
Speaker 3: school yet. She says, if I agree to give her

63
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,360
Speaker 3: primary custody, she will let me have the house and

64
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,440
Speaker 3: will not want child support, and will give me all

65
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,320
Speaker 3: of our savings so I can raise my son as

66
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:03,240
Speaker 3: his mother is strong. I'm sorry, she wants you to

67
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,919
Speaker 3: not even be in your kid's life.

68
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, so why is this woman? Her logic immediately doesn't

69
00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,760
Speaker 1: make any sense, because she's like, you need to be

70
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,600
Speaker 1: in your new son's life.

71
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,480
Speaker 3: But not any of your other kids' lives.

72
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,560
Speaker 5: Your other four children don't need you anymore.

73
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:22,280
Speaker 3: I would say, no, no, I'm not giving you primary custody.

74
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,440
Speaker 3: These are our kids. Just because I have one extra kid?

75
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,359
Speaker 1: Does it mean do you smell that it's nice ish

76
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,560
Speaker 1: smell fish this woman is. I would so this is

77
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,280
Speaker 1: a situation where I would pull the like if I'm ope,

78
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,600
Speaker 1: I would go to my wife and be like, I

79
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,360
Speaker 1: already know, So you might as well tell me and

80
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,600
Speaker 1: just hope that she breaks and it admits to whatever

81
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:41,920
Speaker 1: it is.

82
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,320
Speaker 5: I already know. You might as well just tell.

83
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,840
Speaker 3: Me I already know. She also agreed to pay for

84
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,119
Speaker 3: some helme help for me. I am disabled and need

85
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:53,080
Speaker 3: help occasionally during flare ups, which she usually provides. I

86
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,800
Speaker 3: told her I could afford it on my own, but

87
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,200
Speaker 3: she insists. As she says she wants to help out.

88
00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,040
Speaker 3: Since she won't be there, she will move across the

89
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,320
Speaker 3: untry with our children nah, but said she will bring

90
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,920
Speaker 3: them for at least two weeks every two months.

91
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,040
Speaker 5: That you can't do that.

92
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,600
Speaker 3: You can't. You can't do that with.

93
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,720
Speaker 1: She's acting like you cheated on her and this is

94
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:13,680
Speaker 1: an a fair baby.

95
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:17,360
Speaker 3: This is crazy. I'm sorry. She wants to uproot her

96
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,040
Speaker 3: kids every two months for two weeks.

97
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:21,400
Speaker 5: That makes no sense.

98
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:22,200
Speaker 3: That doesn't even.

99
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:22,839
Speaker 1: Work with school.

100
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,520
Speaker 3: They're young, but they can't be that young because they

101
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,200
Speaker 3: have four of them.

102
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,240
Speaker 1: She's telling him that he needs to worry about his kid,

103
00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,919
Speaker 1: and she's literally disregarding the well being of their four children.

104
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,160
Speaker 3: This is nuts, crazy, nuts, this is nuts, and will

105
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,080
Speaker 3: pay for me to fly out to see them whenever

106
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,120
Speaker 3: I want. No, I don't know what to do. I

107
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,480
Speaker 3: have no family to discuss this with, because two of

108
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,760
Speaker 3: mine and Amy's children are adopted, and my parents an

109
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:50,039
Speaker 3: extended family think my biological son is more important than them,

110
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,839
Speaker 3: which is obviously untrue. It makes me feel horrible, but

111
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,040
Speaker 3: I don't even know my son. It feels like I'm

112
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,760
Speaker 3: losing everything for a person I don't know. And I

113
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,000
Speaker 3: know he's a child and I shouldn't feel that way,

114
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,560
Speaker 3: but all I ever wanted was my wife and kids.

115
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,080
Speaker 3: And while I love my son and take care of him,

116
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,599
Speaker 3: I don't feel like he's my kid yet, just because

117
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,919
Speaker 3: I haven't really had time to get to know him.

118
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,479
Speaker 3: A month ago, I wouldn't have recognized him if I

119
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,839
Speaker 3: saw him on the street. I feel so much guilt

120
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,760
Speaker 3: for feeling this way. Amy and I are both fairly

121
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,320
Speaker 3: well off, but she is more so than me. You

122
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,240
Speaker 3: offer to hire me a lawyer of my choosing if

123
00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:26,719
Speaker 3: I don't agree with her terms. Don't agree with them.

124
00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, don't agree, and also don't take her lawyer.

125
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,320
Speaker 3: No what I told her again, I could afford it,

126
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,480
Speaker 3: but she says she just wants to make sure I

127
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,760
Speaker 3: get a fair deal. This isn't a fair deal. She

128
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,040
Speaker 3: wants to steal your kids and move across the country.

129
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is this is like what the heck?

130
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,280
Speaker 5: Way too extreme?

131
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,160
Speaker 3: This is so extreme for no cheating, no cheating. But

132
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,640
Speaker 3: I just can't. I don't want a divorce or to

133
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,440
Speaker 3: lose my children. I love my wife and children more

134
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,400
Speaker 3: than anything, and I just don't understand her motives or

135
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,960
Speaker 3: why she's doing this. It feels like I have to

136
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,640
Speaker 3: pick my son or my wife and our shared kids.

137
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,200
Speaker 3: I keep trying to make sense of it. In my mind.

138
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,479
Speaker 3: You will not tell me any reason for wanting to

139
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,840
Speaker 3: get divorced. She is even being incredibly nice to my son.

140
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,320
Speaker 3: His birthday had recently passed, and she got them a

141
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,839
Speaker 3: new game system. They haven't met, so it was for

142
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:19,080
Speaker 3: myself and his siblings. She even told me what her nephew,

143
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,839
Speaker 3: same age as my son, is into, so that I

144
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,160
Speaker 3: can get things my son might like. I don't even

145
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,080
Speaker 3: know what advice I'm looking for. It feels like my

146
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,159
Speaker 3: life has been completely ruined. I'm in therapy, but it

147
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,719
Speaker 3: doesn't seem to help. A month ago, my wife and

148
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,040
Speaker 3: I were planning on trying for another baby and picking

149
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,440
Speaker 3: our next vacation spot, And now I'm going to be divorced.

150
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,839
Speaker 3: How do I move on? How do I not unfairly

151
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,960
Speaker 3: resent my son when I know it's not his fault.

152
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,679
Speaker 3: I keep hoping there's a way to convince her to stay,

153
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,279
Speaker 3: but I don't even know what the problem really is.

154
00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:52,839
Speaker 3: I'm hoping someone else has been through learning they have

155
00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:55,479
Speaker 3: a child after ten plus years and knows where to

156
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,919
Speaker 3: start or what I can do to either move on

157
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,640
Speaker 3: or convince my wife that this doesn't have to happen.

158
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:05,240
Speaker 3: Any advice at all is appreciated, though, and there is

159
00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:05,839
Speaker 3: an update.

160
00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 1: What do you think, Well, you've got a very simple

161
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,160
Speaker 1: problem and it can be easily addressed. And that's all

162
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,600
Speaker 1: I have to say about that, because I have no

163
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,080
Speaker 1: idea how to fix this. This is insane. Yeah, like

164
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:20,480
Speaker 1: what I mean? I think your wife has done something,

165
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,000
Speaker 1: but she is now acting on out of guilt.

166
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,640
Speaker 5: That's the only thing that makes sense to me.

167
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,840
Speaker 3: But also, regardless of what she's done, I think right

168
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,760
Speaker 3: now she's not willing to listen to you about like

169
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,240
Speaker 3: trying to fix this or anything. So I think it's like,

170
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:38,480
Speaker 3: lawyer up, don't let her take your kids across the country.

171
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,800
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure she can't do that if you have

172
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,040
Speaker 3: I mean, if you have like if she gets primary custody,

173
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,480
Speaker 3: she'd be able to, but if you have half custody,

174
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,840
Speaker 3: she would not be able to take your kids halfway

175
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:51,680
Speaker 3: across the country.

176
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,920
Speaker 1: Why is she moving halfway across the country? Is it

177
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,080
Speaker 1: your family is there?

178
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,200
Speaker 3: It doesn't make any sense. So I think, say no,

179
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,440
Speaker 3: get your lloyd, get your own lawyer. Don't let her

180
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:05,400
Speaker 3: buy a lawyer for you, uh, and be there for

181
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,400
Speaker 3: all of your kids. Your wife is something's going on

182
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:08,720
Speaker 3: with her.

183
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,480
Speaker 1: It's just it doesn't make any sense to be like, oh, well,

184
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,240
Speaker 1: first of all, she waited for the paternity test. Yeah,

185
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,120
Speaker 1: so like it wasn't like a as soon as she

186
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,760
Speaker 1: found out, she's like, well, I'm out of here.

187
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:20,520
Speaker 5: I can't believe this.

188
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,400
Speaker 1: It was like you waited for the confirmation and then

189
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,520
Speaker 1: she's like, all right, that's now your child.

190
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,240
Speaker 5: Bye, I'm taking our four children.

191
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got one for the price of four.

192
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:32,640
Speaker 5: Nonsense.

193
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,520
Speaker 3: It doesn't make any sense. There is an update though

194
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,480
Speaker 3: It has been over a year since my original post.

195
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:42,360
Speaker 3: Since then, my life has completely changed. Some days it

196
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,520
Speaker 3: is very hard, but all things considered, I am doing well.

197
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:46,720
Speaker 5: Wait how long has it been?

198
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:47,240
Speaker 1: A year?

199
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:47,920
Speaker 5: A year?

200
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,280
Speaker 3: The biggest change is that my wife and I are divorced.

201
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,760
Speaker 3: She moved with our shared children to the opposite coast

202
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,440
Speaker 3: to be near her family. Why did you say yes

203
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:57,760
Speaker 3: to that?

204
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:58,560
Speaker 5: So okay?

205
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,880
Speaker 1: So I did see a comet from Sly the Toads

206
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:06,800
Speaker 1: in the chat that full custody based on how op

207
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:11,080
Speaker 1: described their family thinking about their adopted children as being

208
00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,560
Speaker 1: like less than Yeah, it does kind of make sense

209
00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,160
Speaker 1: that that they would want.

210
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,520
Speaker 5: Full custody for you know.

211
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,680
Speaker 1: I mean I don't, but we don't know how the

212
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,760
Speaker 1: now ex wife's family views the children. We just know

213
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:26,400
Speaker 1: that Opie's family kind of were like othering them. So okay.

214
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,920
Speaker 1: But also country you moved to the other coast?

215
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, what don't? I just don't understand because Opie is like, yeah,

216
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,000
Speaker 3: it happened. It just like, did you give her primary

217
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:41,640
Speaker 3: and custody of your kids? What? We had an easy split,

218
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,000
Speaker 3: as we both agreed it was best for our family.

219
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,240
Speaker 3: How is this best for your family?

220
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:46,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

221
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,400
Speaker 3: How what way is this?

222
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,400
Speaker 5: I would be as a child, do all the kids

223
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,000
Speaker 5: hate you? Yeah? Is that why?

224
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,679
Speaker 3: As a child, if my parents just decided that they

225
00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:01,560
Speaker 3: were getting divorce and moving halfway across the country away

226
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,559
Speaker 3: from my father, I'd.

227
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:06,240
Speaker 1: Be like what, yeah? What but they're so young? I

228
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,319
Speaker 1: don't think they but they're not even in school.

229
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,040
Speaker 3: But they're you know, like they're probably unless they had

230
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,199
Speaker 3: them for such a year.

231
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,560
Speaker 1: There's four, I mean still there's like, I mean there's

232
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,240
Speaker 1: a you know what, Uh well too are adopted, so

233
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,520
Speaker 1: but then the other two yeah, not adopted, but like

234
00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:26,080
Speaker 1: but regardless, it's like they're also at that age where

235
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,480
Speaker 1: it's like once you'd move them at that age. Now

236
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,160
Speaker 1: it's like that's where exactly they're not moving back exactly.

237
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,560
Speaker 3: But I'm still saying like even if they were four, yeah,

238
00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:35,520
Speaker 3: maybe they'll get over it like a little bit sooner,

239
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,360
Speaker 3: but they'd still be like, where's Daddy?

240
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:38,160
Speaker 1: Yeah?

241
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,760
Speaker 3: Why isn't Daddy here with us? Because it happens so quickly. Yeah,

242
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,960
Speaker 3: literally within a month they were like planning to get divorced,

243
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,400
Speaker 3: you know, like not that they probably took longer, but

244
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,559
Speaker 3: found out a month ago said once she found out,

245
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,600
Speaker 3: she's like, we're divorcing. And then within a month they

246
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,640
Speaker 3: were like, yeah, we're doing this. So the kids are

247
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,960
Speaker 3: probably like, what's going on? Yeah, like kids, you know,

248
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,480
Speaker 3: even if they're four years old, they're four year olds.

249
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,160
Speaker 3: Four and five year olds are like they can talk,

250
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,839
Speaker 3: they could do all this stuff. They know what's going on.

251
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,080
Speaker 3: I am very thankful for that. However, it is difficult

252
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,520
Speaker 3: not to see all of my kids.

253
00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, now that's making me think that there's something else.

254
00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,079
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, what, Like, why would you say yes

255
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:18,400
Speaker 3: to that?

256
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,680
Speaker 5: What's not being Why would you.

257
00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 3: Say the first month was the hardest, especially as we

258
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,640
Speaker 3: did not want to divorce and we had a hard

259
00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,480
Speaker 3: time not treating each other like spouses. Then why did

260
00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:30,400
Speaker 3: you which delayed us healing?

261
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:34,480
Speaker 1: I'm okay, I'm theorizing maybe they're going from one state

262
00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:37,200
Speaker 1: to another where it's like the difference in like the

263
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:41,120
Speaker 1: level of tolerance or acceptance towards the kids is going

264
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,640
Speaker 1: to be like way higher or something, because like I

265
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,440
Speaker 1: don't know if who knows, We don't know anything about

266
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,480
Speaker 1: the kids, anything about it, but like if they both

267
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,480
Speaker 1: agree that it's better for their family, there's gotta be

268
00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:56,120
Speaker 1: something there that we're not hearing, probably in the interests

269
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,000
Speaker 1: of anonymity and stuff, but.

270
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,559
Speaker 3: I don't know. My son is doing much better now

271
00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:02,640
Speaker 3: that it's just the two of us. After our divorce,

272
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,679
Speaker 3: my son opened up about her in therapy. I now

273
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,160
Speaker 3: understand much more about his behavior. He is much happier

274
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,280
Speaker 3: now as an only child as well. He's really thriving

275
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,960
Speaker 3: with my attention. He is struggling with his mental health,

276
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,880
Speaker 3: but his care team sees progress, as do I. My

277
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:23,880
Speaker 3: other kids have seemingly forgotten my existence, which hurts, but

278
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,240
Speaker 3: is also better than them being sad about the situation?

279
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:27,520
Speaker 6: What?

280
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,319
Speaker 1: What are we? What? How is that better? Why were

281
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:30,880
Speaker 1: they sad?

282
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,400
Speaker 3: Why they're not sad they've forgotten his existence?

283
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,880
Speaker 1: No, but it's like, rather than being sad about the situation,

284
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,319
Speaker 1: it's like, what they're going to be sad that they

285
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,320
Speaker 1: have another sibling?

286
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,640
Speaker 3: No, sad that he doesn't live with them.

287
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's there's a missing piece here.

288
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,440
Speaker 5: I don't think that's can you can you pull that?

289
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:49,760
Speaker 3: What did that say? To have seemingly forgotten my existence?

290
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,920
Speaker 3: Which hurts, but it's also better than them being sad

291
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,480
Speaker 3: about the situation, which.

292
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,800
Speaker 5: Is oh like they like they're like they don't care.

293
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,680
Speaker 1: Oh okay, which is.

294
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:01,439
Speaker 3: Like insane, like they don't remember that he's their dad.

295
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,920
Speaker 1: Well, buddy, I got news for you. They're probably gonna

296
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,520
Speaker 1: end up being sad about that at something.

297
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're gonna be like, wow, our dad doesn't cause

298
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 3: you're presuma, are you not visiting them every two months?

299
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 3: Which is I mean like even if you're what is this?

300
00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:18,960
Speaker 1: Oh wait, and now there's maybe the slily Toes also

301
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,080
Speaker 1: just commented that the biosun might have behavioral issues. Could

302
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,040
Speaker 1: that be part of why?

303
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,920
Speaker 3: Potentially? But still I'm like.

304
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,720
Speaker 1: My ex wife said, I'm out of here. You gotta

305
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,080
Speaker 1: take care of this kid, and I'm taking ours. I

306
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,480
Speaker 1: just don't understand, so so strange.

307
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,040
Speaker 3: I constantly try and call them, but at their age,

308
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,559
Speaker 3: I get about five words in before they lose interest.

309
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,880
Speaker 3: My ex wife and in laws try and get them

310
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,680
Speaker 3: to stay on the phone and talk to me, but

311
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,760
Speaker 3: there's only so much connection you can have over the

312
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:43,960
Speaker 3: phone with kids. They're AIGs.

313
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, their iPad kids. Their iPad kids too.

314
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,080
Speaker 1: That's why they don't remember you. They're fried by like

315
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:54,000
Speaker 1: zuboomafo and whatever. The heck, they watch all day, would

316
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,040
Speaker 1: not fry them. That's cocal melon. I'm just not an

317
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,679
Speaker 1: iPad kids, so I don't know.

318
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:03,640
Speaker 3: Coco melonbs is a beautiful thing. They seem happy, which

319
00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:05,800
Speaker 3: is all I can ask for. I'm at peace knowing

320
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,200
Speaker 3: that both my son and my younger kids of someone

321
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 3: that loves them in their lives. I missed my family,

322
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,240
Speaker 3: but I feel I made the right choice for them

323
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,400
Speaker 3: and my son. And there is a little bit left

324
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,320
Speaker 3: of the story, but it is kind of insane that

325
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,760
Speaker 3: these kids are gonna grow up and they're gonna be like, Wow, yeah,

326
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:21,920
Speaker 3: dad chose his other son.

327
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,119
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, who knows what's being said, choose.

328
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 3: Between either of them. I just don't understand why you agreed,

329
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,080
Speaker 3: like we're we're missing information, because why would you agree

330
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,640
Speaker 3: to let your kids move across the country. If your

331
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,320
Speaker 3: kid was having behavioral issues, then maybe you don't have

332
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,120
Speaker 3: to like have them all hang out together. I mean

333
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,440
Speaker 3: even just like you guys living in a different house

334
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,680
Speaker 3: away from your wife and kids that was in the

335
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,320
Speaker 3: same freaking town.

336
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,520
Speaker 1: I think rather than moving across countries, I think Op

337
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,280
Speaker 1: got shocked. I think Op was just like in a

338
00:14:54,600 --> 00:15:00,400
Speaker 1: he was just shocked in shock and awe of just like, uh,

339
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,760
Speaker 1: h okay, I really don't understand you want a divorce.

340
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,280
Speaker 6: It seems like everyone was only had one option and

341
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:06,840
Speaker 6: that was it.

342
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it wasn't like I'm going to at like.

343
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,280
Speaker 1: Let's see, Okay, this is what's getting me is there

344
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,680
Speaker 1: is a line in there where it was like at

345
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,840
Speaker 1: the beginning, Op's asking his wife like what's going on?

346
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,320
Speaker 1: Why is this happening? And she just cried and said

347
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,680
Speaker 1: I love you. That is the most like I cheated

348
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:29,560
Speaker 1: on you and can't tell you sentence I've ever heard.

349
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, So, like, I really.

350
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 1: Do feel like there's this deep pit of guilt she's

351
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:39,240
Speaker 1: trying to run away from, but newsflash, that's gonna follow

352
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,560
Speaker 1: you wherever you go.

353
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,600
Speaker 3: Yep. I just don't understand. I don't understand why there

354
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:49,320
Speaker 3: wasn't any bartering or like hey let's fix these terms.

355
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,920
Speaker 1: Well, maybe the ball, the biologue, the secret kid, the

356
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,760
Speaker 1: bio kid, like maybe has.

357
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:55,400
Speaker 5: The special need.

358
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,320
Speaker 1: The Op said that he's been doing a lot better since,

359
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,640
Speaker 1: which it's only been them, So maybe it was.

360
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 3: And I'm not interest Yeah, I'm not discounting that he

361
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,760
Speaker 3: probably needs that, like you know specific help and needs

362
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:11,280
Speaker 3: more of Opie's attention. But like to completely abandoned your

363
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:12,120
Speaker 3: four kids?

364
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,360
Speaker 1: What for one child? You could have just moved, like

365
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 1: to the next county.

366
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 3: I feel like part of parenting is figuring out how

367
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,040
Speaker 3: to parent all of the children that you have.

368
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you didn't have to take them all the way

369
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,280
Speaker 1: into the across the country. I does my sad.

370
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,000
Speaker 3: Ah after a divorce, I asked my ex wife to

371
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 3: lay it on the line. Why did she want to

372
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,040
Speaker 3: leave before even meeting my son? So she didn't even

373
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,120
Speaker 3: know the sun, what all the things about? Like, oh,

374
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 3: maybe she you know, was scared about the baby relation.

375
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,080
Speaker 3: She didn't even know the son. She had written me

376
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,960
Speaker 3: pretty consistent letters from the day we found out until

377
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,200
Speaker 3: the day we got divorced. She gave them to me

378
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 3: once her divorce was finished. I read over them several times.

379
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,880
Speaker 3: You gave several reasons for wanting a split. She felt

380
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,640
Speaker 3: she had chosen me to have a family with and

381
00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,160
Speaker 3: I already had a family. What is she talking about? Oh,

382
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 3: what is she literally talking about?

383
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,359
Speaker 1: This is like, you stupid. This is the same thing

384
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,480
Speaker 1: as that story we read yesterday where it was like

385
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 1: my wife is actually two years older but we're in

386
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,040
Speaker 1: a loving, perfect relationship. Should I be upset about it?

387
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,919
Speaker 1: It's like, no, dummy, make it funny. And it's like

388
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 1: this right here is like you were yes, but regardless,

389
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,960
Speaker 1: it's like you're this woman is now talking like it's like, oh,

390
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,920
Speaker 1: we had these four kids together, but I found out

391
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,199
Speaker 1: someone had actually had a biological child of yours before this,

392
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 1: so all of it has to stop now.

393
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:33,840
Speaker 3: It's like, what it negates everything that we've accomplished over

394
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,040
Speaker 3: ten years of marriage.

395
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,800
Speaker 1: No dummy, just keep what you've got going right now?

396
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 1: What are you doing?

397
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 3: If she had wanted strangers in her life, she would

398
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,720
Speaker 3: have married a man with kids the first time? What

399
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,720
Speaker 3: are you talking about?

400
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,720
Speaker 5: This is just also nonsense, talking.

401
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 3: About like I'm sorry, sickness and in health freaking all

402
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 3: of the little marriage vous you took.

403
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,120
Speaker 5: Yeah at the window.

404
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,640
Speaker 1: This is probably just an easier letter to write than

405
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,160
Speaker 1: I cheated on you like a lot I cheated on you.

406
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,920
Speaker 3: Oh man, she specifically chose someone without kids. Oh he

407
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,680
Speaker 3: didn't know he had kids?

408
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, wait, but then you had four kids together.

409
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,679
Speaker 3: That doesn't even make sense.

410
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:13,960
Speaker 1: So what are you talking about?

411
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 3: And felt she made a mistake as now other people

412
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,120
Speaker 3: would have some control over our lives and a stranger

413
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,000
Speaker 3: would be in her home.

414
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,240
Speaker 1: Oh you're crazy, Sis, I've got bad news. Have you

415
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 1: heard of this thing called the irs? They've got a

416
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 1: lot of control over your life?

417
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, op's X goes. I just I just like

418
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 3: I didn't want I had this whole dream in my

419
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 3: head and I didn't want a stranger to be in

420
00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 3: our house. So instead I'm going to kick my husband

421
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,640
Speaker 3: of ten years out and separate him from his kids.

422
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 3: That's what I was streaming of.

423
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 6: That's crazy. Ten years, four kids. They wanted a fifth kid,

424
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,879
Speaker 6: by the way, They were like, oh, we were planning

425
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 6: to get a fifth kid.

426
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 3: They were planning to have a fifth child anyway.

427
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:57,520
Speaker 6: And she's just like, uh no, this is a big mistake.

428
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,679
Speaker 6: That's okay, ten years out the window.

429
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 3: Though she loved our life marriage and knew it was

430
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,480
Speaker 3: all about to change because of my past decisions. What decisions?

431
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 1: What do you mean you know it is about to change?

432
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 1: What's is this a religious thing?

433
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 5: Is this?

434
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 1: It's it's all changing because of you though, ex wife.

435
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 3: You know what's even crazier, guys, You know, sometimes we

436
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 3: have like stories where people are like, oh, that's not

437
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,160
Speaker 3: my bio kid. They adopted to children.

438
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 1: That's the other thing that makes sense.

439
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 3: Adopted two children. So it's not even like she has

440
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 3: a problem raising kids that aren't biologically hers. Who is

441
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 3: this woman? Is?

442
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: This?

443
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,120
Speaker 5: Was this written just to break our brains?

444
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, because she's crazy. She also said she knew that

445
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 3: kids coming out of situations like this were likely to

446
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 3: have trauma. Oh and all of your kids, all of

447
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 3: your kids using their father, aren't gonna have trauma.

448
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,200
Speaker 5: You literally just split.

449
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: There's nothing your own family. Every sentence that comes up,

450
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:56,440
Speaker 1: we're gonna.

451
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 3: Have kids now that your kids are children of divorce

452
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 3: trauma from that month.

453
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 1: This is so dumb.

454
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 3: She underlined many times that while I was a good person,

455
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 3: she knew I'd throw our family under the bus to

456
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 3: make us for something I had no control.

457
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 1: The this all this means is she cheated. I'm sorry,

458
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 1: you're gonna.

459
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 3: Throw our children on the bus. So I did it first.

460
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 3: I threw them under first, so you couldn't throw them

461
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 3: under the bus.

462
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.

463
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,359
Speaker 3: I wrote her to tell her she was right. What okay,

464
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 3: I was sorry things turned out how they did. Oh,

465
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 3: he is a pushover overall. I'm happy. I don't regret

466
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 3: my decisions. What are you? Who are these people? My

467
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,159
Speaker 3: son is thriving with me and my other kids of

468
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 3: a great mother and maternal family. Who are you? I

469
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 3: hope my son continues to improve, and I selfishly hope

470
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 3: that as time passes and he gets older and more stable,

471
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,879
Speaker 3: I will be able to reconnect with my wife and

472
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 3: be involved with my other kids.

473
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so selfish of you, you absolute monster.

474
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 5: Oh ooh uh?

475
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 1: Who are these people?

476
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 3: I appreciate everyone who reached out with advice. Did you

477
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 3: listen to any of it?

478
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 1: My advice is to go back to the planet you

479
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 1: guys came from, because clearly you guys are like from

480
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 1: a different galaxy the way you've gone about this. What like,

481
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 1: what are we talking about? Why are you apologized? I'd

482
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: be selfish for wanting a life with my whole family

483
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:21,360
Speaker 1: that I love.

484
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 3: Okay, why are you happy with your life?

485
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 5: Is your wife just the ultimate gas lighter?

486
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,919
Speaker 3: Like apparently apparently Opie's wife gas led him so well

487
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 3: that he's like, Yeah, I don't actually want to have

488
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:34,879
Speaker 3: a life with my kids.

489
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:35,719
Speaker 1: Straight up.

490
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 3: That's the end of that story, folks. He is Louise

491
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 3: I really don't understand.

492
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 5: I'm saying it.

493
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 1: She cheated.

494
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 5: Yeah, she cheated, she did she did that. I just

495
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 5: love you. That's yeah, she cheated.

496
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't be surprised when well, actually I guess it's

497
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 3: been a year and she's not with someone else though.

498
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:53,680
Speaker 3: That's crazy, and.

499
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:54,399
Speaker 5: Maybe he knew.

500
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 1: Maybe he knew she cheated, and that's why he was like, yeah,

501
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 1: just do it, because I can't.

502
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 5: I don't want to get to the bottom of it.

503
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: It's like like that this the song by the Weekend

504
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 1: where he's like, I don't wanta know because it's like,

505
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,159
Speaker 1: once you know, it would so thoroughly destroy you that

506
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: you're like, just let's leave it ambiguous because I can't

507
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,360
Speaker 1: deal with the emotional damage.

508
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,679
Speaker 3: Also, I know that he said that the mother of

509
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 3: this kid had like she didn't have a job or something.

510
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: But it was a little hard hard for Yeah, yeah,

511
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,920
Speaker 1: hard for cash. But she's like totally gone, what do

512
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: you mean?

513
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,639
Speaker 3: Like he he was like yeah, Now, I'm like, like

514
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 3: it seemed like he was saying he kind of is

515
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,880
Speaker 3: fully taking care of his son.

516
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 5: Oh, like he has full custody.

517
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 3: That's what it felt like. It's like, yeah, and I'm

518
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 3: doing all this and stuff, and he didn't mention the

519
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 3: mother at all, which I'm like, where did she go?

520
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 5: Well, I guess that again just like shows his priorities.

521
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 3: I really don't understand this. But folks, that is the

522
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,120
Speaker 3: end of that story, and we do have another one.

523
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,199
Speaker 1: Sam here og host. We're going to get back to

524
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 1: these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors. First,

525
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 1: my wife and I opened our marriage.

526
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 5: Now she's jealous.

527
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 3: It never works out.

528
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 1: It's actually not fair to call this a three way problem.

529
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 5: It's an open relationship type of problem.

530
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: Even though we don't have an open relationship and only

531
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 1: dabbled in it somewhat dabbled. It sounds like you don't

532
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 1: even know what to call your problem.

533
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:22,439
Speaker 3: Dabbled it's not wine tasting, Yeah, it's opening your marriage.

534
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,959
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user in a Weird

535
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 1: Pickle and if you want to submit your own stories,

536
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime subredit. So, I

537
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 1: forty male, have been with my wife Kay, forty female

538
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 1: for three years. We both have had prior miserable marriages

539
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: of ten plus years, with her background including an extremely

540
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: possessive husband who didn't let her even talk to other

541
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,919
Speaker 1: guys when we met. My wife had gotten a bit

542
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 1: of distance from her ex by having flings with a

543
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 1: series of guys before she met me, and there's nothing

544
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: wrong with that as long as a person does his

545
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,120
Speaker 1: or her best to remain safe. She had a long

546
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 1: term boyfriend who was, as far as I can tell,

547
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: completely platonic, having only kissed her on the mouth once

548
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 1: during their entire relationship, what and never having indicated an interest.

549
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 5: In spicy sleep.

550
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 3: Okay, maybe he's like Ace.

551
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 5: Okay.

552
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 1: She did keep in touch with a lot of her

553
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:16,439
Speaker 1: past flings, including having some spicy related activity or leading

554
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 1: conversations with some spicy messages. She also almost met up

555
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 1: with another guy from across the country after an emotional

556
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: slash cyber spicy affair early on after we were committed.

557
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 3: So, you, guys, have she cheated on you?

558
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: She cheated Say it with us, folks, Let's get the

559
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: wide shot poppin'. She cheated on you. I chalked that

560
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 1: up to fear of commitment and eventually got past it.

561
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 1: What I think She's been honest with me since then,

562
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: and I trust her.

563
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 3: You sorry? Can I trust her? And I think she's

564
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 3: been honest with me in the same sentence.

565
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 5: I trust her.

566
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 3: I mean, I think she's been honest with me.

567
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,719
Speaker 5: I don't think she has any online husband.

568
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 3: I charked it up to what commitment issues.

569
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, she didn't want to be committed to me.

570
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: Ah.

571
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 5: I got over it, though.

572
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 3: That's crazy, that's crazyical cheating on someone.

573
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just commitment issues. I usually promote, like, you know,

574
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 1: the the concept of being a kind of unbothered for

575
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: the most part. But this is way too unbothered. You

576
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,439
Speaker 1: gotta be a little bothered after all that, though she

577
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 1: did have some ongoing boundary issues. In my view, is cheating.

578
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 1: For example, that Platonic X used her to promote his

579
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,959
Speaker 1: online business by claiming she was essentially an executive of

580
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: his non existent organization and posted messages on social media

581
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: talking about how smexy she was. What huh, okay, we're

582
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 1: gonna keep going. Uh. It was a very strange dynamic

583
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 1: and made me uncomfortable the sham business relationship as much

584
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: as anything else. I have eventually told her, and she

585
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 1: resisted doing anything for months, but finally did tell him

586
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: she didn't want to continue being used to promote his

587
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 1: business that way. What's the business just a hot girl,

588
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 1: hot girl business.

589
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,639
Speaker 3: I'm sorry you told her that you were uncomfortable, and

590
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 3: she was like, I don't care.

591
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: For months, it doesn't even I know the title of

592
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: this set. It's like we opened the marriage. Doesn't even

593
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 1: sound like that's what y'all are doing. It's like you're

594
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: just like, well, I guess my wife is more interested

595
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: in others, so maybe I should also.

596
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 3: Be my guy early.

597
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 5: Let's see what is doing.

598
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 4: So.

599
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: The main reason I mentioned this is that she's often

600
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: shown a tendency to have boundary issues with other guys

601
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,920
Speaker 1: because she is a flirt and likes the attention.

602
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:44,160
Speaker 3: She's the cheater.

603
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 1: I'm okay, we know you're okay. She's just a flirt.

604
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: I mean we're dating and she flirts with all these

605
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: other guys. But that's just how she is me and

606
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: I guess because I can only date one person for

607
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 1: the whole entirety of my life, I've just that's my position.

608
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: I've this is the boat I've found myself in, apparently,

609
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 1: especially after her repressed past, as long as she's honest

610
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: with me. But a key fact is that she's been

611
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 1: a bit resistant when I've indicated a lack of comfort,

612
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: which I've only rarely done. We've been spicily adventurous to

613
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,159
Speaker 1: some extent, including discussing.

614
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,920
Speaker 5: The idea of a soul winger.

615
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: We didn't, but we went to parties and fooled around

616
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: with each other, having a shared girlfriend her idea originally,

617
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: or even a sister wife, which was her idea originally.

618
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 5: What guys fellas ladies gather around.

619
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,439
Speaker 1: We're in a relationship and someone suggests something that's like

620
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 1: so wildly out of what we want. It's like so

621
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 1: far away from where we're at. You don't have to

622
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 1: be like, I mean, okay, yeah, you can be like

623
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: that is literally the opposite of what I want.

624
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 3: The thing is like, y'all aren't dabble in it. She's

625
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 3: in it. She's in it, and you're dobbling in making

626
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 3: an official She's been doing it.

627
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 1: You're you're still conceptualizing it. She's out there executing.

628
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 3: It's like when I was technically a double major but

629
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 3: hadn't made it official yet.

630
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 5: And then you decided to get the English making.

631
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 3: A double major. I just wasn't on my transcript. She's

632
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 3: already doing that. I had to take all the classes.

633
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 3: She's she's taking the.

634
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 5: Classes Oxford, Harvard, Cow.

635
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 1: All of them US and she got an English major

636
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: every single one of those institutions quadruple English major.

637
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 3: I got double majors at all of them.

638
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: Octuple major.

639
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 3: I should I don't think I have a uc A ice, Butter, we.

640
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: Can fix that.

641
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 3: That's the easiest, the only one that Sam went to.

642
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 6: That's the easiest one.

643
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 5: We can figure that, you know, we could totally fix that.

644
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 3: I gotta get on this, guys, I need more.

645
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: She seemed at times to have a foot, but she

646
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 1: would shut things down when things got real, like when

647
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 1: we had opportunities to do spicy related stuff or maybe

648
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: relationship stuff with at least five women over a couple

649
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: of years.

650
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 3: So is she wanting to like watch? Is that the thing?

651
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: I don't know, that's what it was.

652
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 3: So I think that that's what that term maybe means.

653
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 1: But she'd always back out last minute, which I respected.

654
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 1: She remained fascinated by the idea of a multi woman relationship, however,

655
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: especially since she has by tendencies but hasn't fully explored

656
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: them yet, though she identifies as mostly hetero romantic. Enter

657
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 1: Marlene Okay, Marlene dang it Marlene, I told you stay home.

658
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 3: So she is a or on the A spectrum makes

659
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 3: sense for previous relationships on the A spectrum romantic.

660
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: She was someone at work dealing with a breakup with

661
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: a lot of similar interests, and we became friends with

662
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: my wife's full knowledge. With my wife's encouragement, we had

663
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: Marlene over to the house a couple of times, and

664
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: I eventually broached the subject of dating very vaguely with her. Originally,

665
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 1: Marlene indicated that she'd find it too weird, and I

666
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: didn't bring it up again. But we did spend a

667
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: lot of time talking and sharing outside of work, and I.

668
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,719
Speaker 5: Grew somewhat fond of her. Eventually, she found that she

669
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 5: was attracted to me after all.

670
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: But though my wife eventually had a crush on her

671
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 1: as well, Marlene wasn't into my wife Kay, as Marlene

672
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: identifies as completely hetero. Eventually, with Kay's full knowledge and

673
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: blessing in our house, Marlene and I fooled around. We

674
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 1: did the horizontal mambo, we did the taboo tango, We

675
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 1: did the Oh Mama Mama Jambo, the Oh Mama Samba.

676
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 5: Okay, there we go.

677
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 1: Marlene had a problem with Kay being present, so Kay

678
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: was in a different part of the house, though she

679
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: could hear us.

680
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 3: She's pressed up against the wall.

681
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,719
Speaker 1: She's like, you turned it up.

682
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 5: Kay, go to the mall. Go to the mall, buy

683
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 5: a knick knack? What are you doing?

684
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 3: And she goes, Okay, do.

685
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 5: Oh, that's right, because Kay's kind of into that.

686
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh that's her whole thing, that's her spicy desire.

687
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 3: She wants to She doesn't want to be a part

688
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 3: of it, it seems, but she wants to like watch

689
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 3: it and hear it.

690
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 5: Okay.

691
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 1: Afterward, she described being extremely tued it up. As a

692
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: second night, Marlene and I fooled around some more, but

693
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 1: this time Marlene asked me to ask Kay to exit

694
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: the room again, and I did. This apparently hurt Kay's feelings,

695
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: although she didn't tell me until much later, and though

696
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:33,479
Speaker 1: she still reported being vicariously tooted it up.

697
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 3: Honestly, I feel like, y'all, you need to get a

698
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 3: different partner because if this is what your wife wants

699
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 3: and this is kind of the uh like thing, that

700
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 3: are the rules that you set, and Marlene's not into it,

701
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 3: then you can't do something that Marlene doesn't want to do.

702
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, you've got you shouldn't be doing.

703
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, you should be doing something that your wife wants

704
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 3: to do.

705
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: You guys are magnets with the same poles. It's like

706
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: they're not they're not they're not clicking together. They're yeah,

707
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 1: you can't you can't make them.

708
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 3: So I feel like you gotta get someone new.

709
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: Eventually, with my wife's apparent encouragement but later reported inner misgivings,

710
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: I went to Marlene's hotel with her for a couple

711
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: of nights consecutively and we hooked up some more. I

712
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 1: may well have been dense, but at the time I

713
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: thought this was giving my wife a vi carryous thrill

714
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 1: and that she had no problem with it.

715
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 5: I even asked her.

716
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: My wife, even later, when she reported having had problems,

717
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: always told me she assumed we went all the way

718
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 1: and had no problems with that, but we didn't, partly

719
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: because I didn't know the first night if that was

720
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: on the table or not. Fast forward a couple of

721
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 1: months and Marlene had traveled back home from her business trip,

722
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: but we stayed in contact outside of work. My wife

723
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 1: initially reported some jealousy, but seemed to move past it

724
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: and then started encouraging me to see Marlene some more

725
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 1: when Marlene returned, as she did soon after. During this time,

726
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: I spoke often and in depth with my wife about

727
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: what sort of relationship we were contemplating. She told me

728
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 1: she found the idea of even marrying Marlene to be

729
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: exciting and wanted to take things as they can. Girl.

730
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,959
Speaker 3: She she Marlene is straight. Wow, Marlene is straight.

731
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 5: So this is the op I'm thinking.

732
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 3: Uh.

733
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: I was thinking this was gonna be ope, we need

734
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: to learn where our boundaries are. But instead it's about

735
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: Opie's partner. Oh, Pi, he's partner. You're not okay with this?

736
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 3: Not okay with this.

737
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: You should express that and be like, let's not because

738
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 1: clearly this is not actually working for me.

739
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 3: Dude, you know what you want. You want to vicariously

740
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 3: be a part of this. You want to watch the

741
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 3: work share combo.

742
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 1: You want the chair in the corner. You wantair, You

743
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: got chair. You're Tyler Durden. Your ned from Spider Man

744
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: in the because he've sat in the Tyler Durden in

745
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: the movie Fight Club sits in the cup.

746
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 5: Chair in the hotel.

747
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 3: I've seen that movie. He sits in it, and he's

748
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 3: interested in that radit.

749
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 1: I feel like Tyler Jurden would be into that regardless.

750
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 5: We're not here talk about fight.

751
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 3: Clude.

752
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 5: I just watched it, that's the first rule.

753
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: I haven't finished it yet, sanging Hopefully that didn't happen

754
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 3: the last hour because I haven't seen that part yet.

755
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 1: Um. Anyway, Marlene returned and we had an idyllic weekend,

756
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 1: all three of us, culminating in two little uh two managetoiens.

757
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,479
Speaker 1: After this is where things fell apart. My wife began

758
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 1: acting very conflicted, and eventually, on the last night Marlene

759
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 1: was with us, we wound up doing nothing after initially

760
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 1: planning to, and my wife was completely broken down. For

761
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 1: many weeks following, I had a terrible time at home.

762
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 1: Kay was cold, angry, yelled very often, swore at me

763
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: and or called me names, and demanded full access to

764
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: my email and phone, which I gave her to help

765
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 1: her feel more secure. I'd already told Marlene that we

766
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 1: couldn't be together, but I think Kay didn't trust me

767
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 1: not to cheat, and or she thought Marlene was trying

768
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 1: to steal me away. Things were stiff between Marlene, who

769
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 1: developed some feelings for me, and I for her. God

770
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 1: uh so working could get tense, but she was classy

771
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 1: and respectful, and I did my best to be the

772
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 1: same way with no off color remarks or anything. I

773
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 1: knew she was having a lot of trouble processing things,

774
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 1: basically having the emotional rug yanked out from under her

775
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 1: by my wife, but I resisted urges to console her.

776
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: I think you and your wife, No, you don't get

777
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 1: to do that.

778
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 5: Ope, you and your.

779
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,879
Speaker 3: Wife, my wife. It's all my wife's fault.

780
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 1: Dude. This was a team effort.

781
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 3: Dude. You knew what your wife wanted, and then you

782
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 3: stop doing what your wife wanted. And then she said, uh, yeah,

783
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 3: I guess it's fine, and then was like, uh, I

784
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 3: don't know if I'm into this, and then clearly showed

785
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:41,720
Speaker 3: discomfort with what was going on. And you did it anyway.

786
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 3: It literally probably the same relationship.

787
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 1: This the same energy as like when you're like, Babe,

788
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 1: can I go hang out with the boys tonight? I

789
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: know we had that like dinner date plan, but I

790
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 1: want to go hang out with the boys.

791
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 5: And then she's like, I guess it.

792
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: I mean you can do whatever you want, yes, And

793
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 1: then you're like, but you told me.

794
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 3: I could, like what To be clear, they've both done this,

795
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 3: you know, like she did this start of like hang

796
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 3: out with all these guys and flirting and op being like,

797
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 3: I guess I'm okay with that, and then her doing

798
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 3: it anyway, and then he did it back to her.

799
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 3: So it's like, you guys don't know how to talk

800
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 3: to each other, like express your emotions, tell each other

801
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 3: that you're not okay with it. The only that she

802
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 3: really says everyone sucks her. Yes.

803
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 1: Eventually I was laid off from that job, and Marlene

804
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 1: gave me a very helpful professional recommendation. I decided I

805
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 1: didn't want to lose touch with her out of thankfulness,

806
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 1: but also just because I felt bad for her and

807
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 1: wanted to know her, even if just effectively as pen pals.

808
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,719
Speaker 1: So I did keeping my wife in the loop. My

809
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: wife wasn't thrilled, but went along with it.

810
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 3: Or why talking out your wife was not happy with it?

811
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 3: You're like, well, I'm doing it anyway. Why do you

812
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 3: guys even married?

813
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:55,240
Speaker 1: You've lost the plot, lost it of like what y'all's

814
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: little fatouche was, You're.

815
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 5: Now pen paling your third.

816
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 1: That's not how that works now if it's gonna work

817
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: right now I've let my wife read the emails since then,

818
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:13,840
Speaker 1: but they've provoked constant conflict. There's nothing spicy or romantic

819
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,479
Speaker 1: about them, but my wife constantly finds fault with word

820
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 1: choices of mine and has accused me of wanting to

821
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: be with Marlene instead of her, and has also accused

822
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 1: Marlene of wanting to steal me away, though she lives

823
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: in a different state and neither can move. Reads extremely

824
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: tenuous meanings into words and phrases in attempts to make

825
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: particular communications seem to be invitations for romance. Blah blah

826
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Kay has even threatened to break up

827
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:42,839
Speaker 1: with me if I didn't stop emailing Marlene, though Kay

828
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: eventually took that back and removed her demand that I

829
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 1: not have any contact with Marlene going forward.

830
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 3: What your wife said, I'm gonna break up with you

831
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 3: if you keep talking to Marlene. Not a great you know,

832
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 3: never good to have an ultimatum, and you went what

833
00:37:58,160 --> 00:37:59,240
Speaker 3: she took it back?

834
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: What this is just full blown, like you've gone all

835
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 1: the way down the rabbit hole, Like.

836
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:11,240
Speaker 3: Imagine this is what you know, Dakota. You're like, I'm

837
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 3: super upset at.

838
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 1: You because you have.

839
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 3: I don't know, you keep walking around in the house.

840
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: With your sh with my smooth hair, with my totally

841
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: smooth my hair is so smooth.

842
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 3: I say, Dakota, if you walk around this house house

843
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 3: with your money shoes on, I'm gonna I'm wanna kick

844
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 3: you out of this house and you're never coming back.

845
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 3: And then next day I'm like, Dakota, like whatever. Hopefully

846
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 3: you're like, well, I'm not gonna wear my money shoes

847
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 3: around the house.

848
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 5: And I'd be like sick.

849
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 1: She gave me the.

850
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 3: Okay, whatever I want. That means it's fun, right.

851
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 5: What is tone? What is what is subtext?

852
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:48,239
Speaker 2: Yeah?

853
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 4: I don't understand subtext. I don't know because I can't

854
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,879
Speaker 4: read what is a vibe? I'm not even sure. All

855
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 4: I know is what is literally spoken to me. I

856
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:58,720
Speaker 4: am mister literal.

857
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 1: Yep. This has been pretty disruptive on my life with

858
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 1: k recently. For example, we didn't have spicy sleep for

859
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,280
Speaker 1: well over a month. I feel unwanted sometimes. Well imagine

860
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 1: how she feels.

861
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 3: Imagine that she feels.

862
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 1: But and again that's not even Also, it's both of

863
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 1: your fault.

864
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 3: I feel like you guys are maybe like spicily incompatible

865
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 3: because it seems like she either has little it seems

866
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 3: like little desire for spicy sleep, given you know how

867
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 3: she has defined herself, and Ope seems to have a

868
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 3: lot hires spicy sleep desire. So yeah, you guys are

869
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 3: fully compatible. Yeah, especially just in how you are communicating it.

870
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 5: I hate it when she says mean things and all that.

871
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 1: Still part of me feels like it's not fair anymore

872
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 1: that she insists I cut off all contact with Marlene.

873
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to lose her, partly because I do

874
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,840
Speaker 1: view her as a friend. I know that to a

875
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 1: certain degree, fairness doesn't matter in these determinations, rather how

876
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 1: one feels still there is there any decent way to

877
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 1: get across to k that I am trust worthy, but

878
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: also that I don't feel like it's fair to be

879
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:07,439
Speaker 1: forced to be mean to Marlene. You mean to Marlene?

880
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: I swear I've been completely honorable in my dealings with

881
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: Marlene since the week where we had the threesomes, and

882
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: I'm not angling for a romantic relationship. I just email

883
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: her every couple days and enjoy the friendly communications. Plus

884
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,919
Speaker 1: feel better about not just cutting her off like she's

885
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,359
Speaker 1: a toy. Am I in the wrong. Yes, I am

886
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 1: intentionally posting here instead of in our polyamory or non

887
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 1: monogamy or I want non bias points of view on

888
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 1: what a ballpark of reasonableness looks like given the situation.

889
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 1: I know my wife isn't in the wrong for feeling jealous.

890
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: I want to know if I'm being unreasonable by wanting, now,

891
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: after all of the on again, off again, on again,

892
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: off again, to just be Marlene's friend. Yes, yes, that's unreasonable.

893
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 3: Unreasonable if you want a relationship with your wife, you

894
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 3: can't be Marlene's.

895
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 1: Friend like having that Eh.

896
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 3: Okay, Once you've developed feelings for the person that you

897
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,359
Speaker 3: were supposed to just be having like little spicy time with,

898
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,760
Speaker 3: probably not best to continue the relationship with her. Yeah,

899
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 3: if you're trying to continue the relationship with your wife.

900
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 1: Very different if this is just like a coworker and

901
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: you're friends with them and they were never brought into

902
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 1: the fold, so to speak, Like yeah, then.

903
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 3: And wrestling Mama says, but it's different. Yeah, wife was

904
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 3: wrong on making your boundaries clear. We know the wife

905
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 3: was wrong, we know she cheated.

906
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, they were both wrong.

907
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 3: They're both wrong. Oh, p is the one asking us

908
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 3: the questions. I'm gonna direct the met op Yeah, yep,

909
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 3: figure it out, dude, because otherwise you got a divorce.

910
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,720
Speaker 3: Because this is not working the way that it's going.

911
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 5: It's time to walk away. It's time. I don't think

912
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 5: you guys are compatible partners.

913
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think it'll probably everly just end with

914
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 1: someone cheating on someone. But that is the end of

915
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 1: that story. We have another one coming right up, Hey,

916
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 1: John Ogi host here.

917
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

918
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 2: three minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the

919
00:41:59,560 --> 00:41:59,959
Speaker 2: show alive.

920
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:04,280
Speaker 3: My wife cheated with me. Now I fear she's cheating

921
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:04,799
Speaker 3: on me.

922
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: Dang, it sucks when the shoes on the other foot,

923
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:08,359
Speaker 1: doesn't it.

924
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 3: I thirty eight male, have known my wife thirty four female,

925
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 3: for sixteen years. We dated for one month when we

926
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 3: first met. We stopped dating when she met a guy

927
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 3: who would be her serious boyfriend for the next five years.

928
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 1: Pause for context. They were in high school. Yeah, that

929
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 1: was sixteen years old when that happened.

930
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from not show and if

931
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

932
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 3: r slash. Okay, storytime subured it, so we remained good

933
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 3: friends for those five years. I would very often hang

934
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 3: out with her and her boyfriend. Toward the end of

935
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 3: the five years, her boyfriend was living about two hours

936
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 3: away and they saw each other less and less frequently.

937
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 3: It was known by all of her friends that she

938
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 3: felt like he wasn't committing to her the way she

939
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 3: felt he should after the amount of time, and she

940
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 3: was rather unhappy. Around that time, she needed a roommate

941
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 3: and I needed a place, so I moved in with

942
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 3: her and another girl.

943
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: May I just quickly say, moving two hours away at

944
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 1: twenty one and staying in a relationship with somebody is

945
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: a very committed thing to do. Raise So that makes

946
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 1: no sense immediately from my perspective commitment.

947
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 3: Man. Yeah, we started hooking up while she was still

948
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: with her boyfriend. Yikes, that's not cool. It was more

949
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 3: than just fooling around, and we both had strong feelings

950
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 3: for each other. Dude, he's two hours away.

951
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 5: Break up with him, dude, how do you even so?

952
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: How do you know? Those are her feelings for you though,

953
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 1: and not her feelings for the guys she's cheating on

954
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 1: being expressed? Threw her into you as like a vehicle.

955
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 1: What before we started hooking up. I had planned to

956
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 1: move out of town, same country, really far away. I

957
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 1: asked her if she would come with me. She said no,

958
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 1: she was gonna stay with her boyfriend. I left heartbroken.

959
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 3: A few months later, she came to visit me with

960
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 3: some friends and asked if the offer still stood. I

961
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 3: told her it did, and she packed up everything and

962
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 3: left her hometown to live with me in a strange city.

963
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,720
Speaker 3: Did she break up with her boyfriend? Is she still

964
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:10,479
Speaker 3: with her boyfriend? Things were great. We were youngish, kind

965
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 3: of poor, but we worked hard, saved money, and made

966
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:16,280
Speaker 3: a life for ourselves. After five years of living together,

967
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 3: I finally asked her to marry me. Presumably she broke

968
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 3: up with her boyfriend.

969
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 1: I would hope at this point boyfriend knows yeah, and

970
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,320
Speaker 1: he's on the outs.

971
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 3: She said yes, and all was well. We bought a

972
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 3: condo together and planned our wedding. Around this time, her

973
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 3: work transferred her to a different office, which was a

974
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 3: longer commute one hour versus twenty five minutes. It sucked,

975
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 3: but she liked her job, so she stuck with it.

976
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 3: She had a male coworker who she was really good

977
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 3: friends with. He was married with three kids. We hung

978
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 3: out with him and his wife a few times, and

979
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 3: it was pretty obvious that he was attracted to my wife.

980
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 3: My threat radar went off one time when he his wife,

981
00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 3: my wife, and I were playing cards, and he muttered God, beautiful,

982
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 3: kind of under his breath, but loud enough for me

983
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 3: and maybe his wife to hear. He wasn't talking about

984
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 3: his wife.

985
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 5: So what? What?

986
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: What is? What is that? That's you?

987
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 5: I don't even know. That sounds fake.

988
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:19,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's because beautiful whose wife is not immediately going.

989
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 3: Yeah the hell? Did you share that? Was that to me?

990
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 1: Did you just did?

991
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 5: We're gonna leave. We're gonna have to talk to you

992
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 5: in the car right now.

993
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,799
Speaker 3: I told my wife about that incident and that it

994
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,359
Speaker 3: bothered me, but she shrugged it off, and I didn't

995
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 3: really think too much about it. So the office move

996
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 3: had brought them closer to the guy's house. You mentioned

997
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 3: one time about how she had gone over there during

998
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 3: lunch to babe to play bags and drink adult soda.

999
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 3: What's bags?

1000
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 5: Probably cornhole.

1001
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 3: It was kind of an offhand comment, and it was

1002
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 3: the only time she talked about them hanging out at lunch.

1003
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 3: I didn't like it at all, but I didn't say anything.

1004
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,320
Speaker 3: So we got married, and literally two days after the

1005
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 3: wedding and we found out that she wast We planned

1006
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 3: to have kids, but not right away. Nonetheless we were happy.

1007
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 1: Oh wait, pause really quick? They were playing cards, right,

1008
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: Kat has in the comments. Kat's theory is that he

1009
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: was talking about his cards, which actually does make sense.

1010
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 1: He's like, if you're playing cards, you can just get

1011
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 1: a good hand. You were trying to be cheeky, or

1012
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,800
Speaker 1: you get a bad hand, you're trying to bluff.

1013
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I want to gage if you thought it

1014
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,320
Speaker 3: was directed at because he says, oh, he wasn't talking

1015
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 3: to his wife.

1016
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: Well, it could be the threat radar, because it's like, yeah,

1017
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: you lose him, how you got him?

1018
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 5: You already know she's down to cheat.

1019
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 3: When we were talking to people about us having a baby,

1020
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 3: I would sometimes make jokes about not being sure if

1021
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:38,720
Speaker 3: it was mine.

1022
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:40,799
Speaker 1: What Why did you make that joke?

1023
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 3: My intentions were totally benign, at least consciously. After I

1024
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 3: made this joke a few times, she finally told me

1025
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 3: that she really.

1026
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 1: Didn't like it. When I said that, Wow, I wonder why.

1027
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 3: Wow, I could tell she was serious, so I apologized

1028
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,239
Speaker 3: and never did it again. It struck me as a

1029
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 3: little strange, though, because we messed with each other all

1030
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 3: the time and it's never a problem. What are you

1031
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 3: talking about, dude, that your baby gonna freaking like that.

1032
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 3: You're saying that you're joking about whether or not you're

1033
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 3: the father.

1034
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, yeah, she's not gonna like that, dumb dum, dummy,

1035
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 1: it's not.

1036
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 5: You can't.

1037
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 1: You can't. You can't involve the baby in the joke

1038
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: and then be like, ah, come one.

1039
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 3: One day, we were sharing a romantic moment. I was

1040
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 3: looking at her in the eyes and said something to

1041
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,720
Speaker 3: the effect of I can't wait to see our baby.

1042
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 3: I was looking her in the eyes and waiting for

1043
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 3: a reaction, but she just kind of poused. She didn't

1044
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 3: laugh or do anything right away. It was really awkward,

1045
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 3: and it freaked me out. So I'm imagining, Oh, he's like,

1046
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 3: I can't wait to see our baby. I was really

1047
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 3: upset about it for a day or so, but I

1048
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 3: didn't say anything. The thought that the child may not

1049
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 3: be mine was in the back of my mind from

1050
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 3: then on. I'm sorry, you're thought what that's how, that's

1051
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 3: why you thought that that doesn't make any sense.

1052
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 1: How did we get here? How have we jumped all

1053
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: the way to hear?

1054
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 3: I feel like, oh, he is just so insecure and

1055
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:07,839
Speaker 3: so like paranoid because this he cheated with.

1056
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 5: Her, And yeah, maybe this is the penance you pay.

1057
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 3: So our daughter was born. She's a lovely child. I

1058
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 3: can't express how much I love her. She really does

1059
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,360
Speaker 3: look like me and my wife, So what my fears

1060
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:23,479
Speaker 3: about her not being mine were mostly removed. My wife

1061
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 3: is a fantastic mother to her two. She is now

1062
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 3: pregnant with our second child. So quite recently we had

1063
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 3: dinner with the work guy and his wife. Work guy

1064
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 3: was drinking quite heavily. He has a very loud and

1065
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:38,760
Speaker 3: outgoing personality, quite likable. He likes to make lude jokes

1066
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 3: and sometimes takes it too far for social comfort. That night,

1067
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 3: he made a comment about a waitress's front airbags while

1068
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 3: sitting right next to his wife.

1069
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: Oh so he's just he's that kind of guy who

1070
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 1: he's gross.

1071
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 3: She heard him and looked at him, and he kind

1072
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 3: of made a face like.

1073
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,280
Speaker 5: Well, what are you gonna deny it?

1074
00:48:57,520 --> 00:48:59,359
Speaker 3: You know, see those honkers?

1075
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:05,800
Speaker 1: Though I want to make a sorry, I'll leave that.

1076
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 5: Let that one's sleep.

1077
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,400
Speaker 3: We got to talking about a coworker of his who

1078
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 3: had done some pretty messed up things at work which

1079
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 3: involved him. It was an ethical thing that would likely

1080
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 3: have gotten that person fired if he had told on her,

1081
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:22,359
Speaker 3: but he didn't tell. I joked to him, Ah, that

1082
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 3: person must have dirt on you. His reply was, yeah,

1083
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 3: that I was banging your wife at work. Ah. He

1084
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,880
Speaker 3: said that in front of his wife and your wife.

1085
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 1: This can't even be real. There's no way who is

1086
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 1: this guy? I mean, how unless he's just like blacked

1087
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 1: out at this point, because they did say he was

1088
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: drinking a lot, and that is totally something that just

1089
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: would just flip right out of you if you had

1090
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 1: been drinking too.

1091
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 3: Much and makes a joking face like, ooh, shouldn't have

1092
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 3: said that while looking at my wife. I looked at

1093
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,919
Speaker 3: my wife and her head was turned. Either she didn't

1094
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 3: here or she was pretending not to have heard. I

1095
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 3: feel like he wouldn't have said it. There's two possibilities. One,

1096
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 3: he said it because he ye had he is doing it.

1097
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:13,320
Speaker 3: Two he waited until she was not listening and looking

1098
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:15,320
Speaker 3: to say it to get a rise out of Ope.

1099
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just think he did it. He did that,

1100
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 1: He did that, and just did it, and like, I

1101
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: don't know. Sometimes you know, there's like the psychological principle

1102
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 1: of like the criminal returning to the scene of the

1103
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:33,399
Speaker 1: crime and being in close proximity to the investigation, because

1104
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 1: it's almost like they want the credit, they want to

1105
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 1: get caught, they want everyone to know, they want to

1106
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 1: let go of the weight. So that might have just

1107
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: been he got drunk enough to be like, yeah, you

1108
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:46,960
Speaker 1: know what, I'm banging your wife at work. Oh oops, Oh,

1109
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have said that.

1110
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,320
Speaker 3: That freaked me the f out. I was trying to

1111
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,800
Speaker 3: keep my cool, but I was visibly irritated. My wife

1112
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 3: asked me what was wrong, but I didn't tell her.

1113
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 3: I didn't sleep that night. All I could do was think,

1114
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 3: what would happen if it were true. I wanted to

1115
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 3: ask my wife, but I was afraid of offending her

1116
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:08,800
Speaker 3: and sounding mistrustful if it were true, or worse, having

1117
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 3: her tell me it was true. That was almost two

1118
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:14,319
Speaker 3: weeks ago now and I still haven't asked. I think

1119
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:16,800
Speaker 3: I have to do it because my suspicions just haven't

1120
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 3: gone away. Every now and then. The feeling I had

1121
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 3: that night comes back, and I can't shake it. My

1122
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 3: wife has noticed for sure. I thought about all the

1123
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 3: things that could point to her having an affair with

1124
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,919
Speaker 3: this guy. There really isn't too much else. But one

1125
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 3: thing that I did find strange is that she deleted

1126
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 3: her old email account after we got married and changed

1127
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 3: her name. You got married, though, she changed her name

1128
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 3: because her name changed.

1129
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 5: No, maybe she changed it to like a completely different name.

1130
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, Bleaede Bleades fire fire Blade.

1131
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:57,280
Speaker 1: Yes, my name is Moonflower Fireblaze Underscore ninety nine.

1132
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 3: Like not disabled or stopped using it, but it. I

1133
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 3: asked her why and told her that didn't make sense

1134
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 3: because she would miss emails send to the old address.

1135
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 3: She gave some answer like she wanted emails to that

1136
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 3: addressed to bounce so people would not use it anymore.

1137
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 3: That kind of makes sense.

1138
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 1: I guess.

1139
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 3: She also deletes emails in her new Gmail account after

1140
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 3: she's done with them. Oh yeah, people do that.

1141
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:23,280
Speaker 1: That's how you end up with not thirty seven thousand emails.

1142
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 3: I asked her why she did that when she could

1143
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 3: just mark them as red or archive them when she's done.

1144
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 3: She said she doesn't want them around cluttering up her inbox.

1145
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 3: And that's reasonable, buddy, that's reasonable, and they'll do that.

1146
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 1: You just have to approach your wife and be like, hey,

1147
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 1: so you remember how we got together, right, I'm nervous.

1148
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 3: I mean, she cheated the last guy with me. Why

1149
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 3: wouldn't she cheat on me? What do you guys think?

1150
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 3: Did she do it? Should? I ask her? And there

1151
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 3: is an update, folks, Dude, talk to your wife. Stop

1152
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,720
Speaker 3: coming up like you've been thinking about this for freaking

1153
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 3: the whole time you guys have been together. You have

1154
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:00,839
Speaker 3: always thought that she's going to cheat on you, So like,

1155
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,799
Speaker 3: talk to her. I don't know. If you can't trust her,

1156
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 3: then why are you in a relationship with her? I

1157
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,560
Speaker 3: think I don't even think she is cheating. I think

1158
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:10,840
Speaker 3: he's just so paranoid.

1159
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: I think he's also written this from perspective where it

1160
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 1: sounds like he knows if he brings it up that

1161
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,839
Speaker 1: in and of itself, is going to end a relationship. Potentially,

1162
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 1: if you're already put in that box and like it's

1163
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,880
Speaker 1: your relationship, isn't even a safe space for you to

1164
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 1: like talk about how you're really feeling. Depending on what

1165
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 1: the feeling is, then it's over, Okay.

1166
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 3: I finally talked to my wife. I was really nervous

1167
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 3: and trying to set up a good opportunity. When it

1168
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 3: got as good as I thought it was going to get,

1169
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 3: I just said, so, did anything ever happen between you

1170
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 3: and the guy? Not the smooth delivery I had hoped

1171
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 3: to me.

1172
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 5: No, not smooth at all.

1173
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 3: She said, you mean, like romantically? No? No, never. She

1174
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:56,799
Speaker 3: seemed very sincere, and I believed her right away.

1175
00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 1: Oh dude, she hate you with the loophole immediately, what

1176
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 1: are you talking about? What you mean romantically? She's gonna

1177
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, but there was nothing romantic about when

1178
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 1: we were just like banging' that's what she's going to say.

1179
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:07,880
Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel like that. I feel like

1180
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 3: that great of.

1181
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 1: A reply is like no, what or she's just lying.

1182
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 3: I don't think she's lying. I went on to tell

1183
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:16,279
Speaker 3: her all the reasons I was worried, and she was

1184
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 3: very understanding. She was upset that I didn't trust her.

1185
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 3: She did start crying when I told her about my

1186
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 3: fears that our daughter might not have been mine. She

1187
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,440
Speaker 3: was upset that I would even think that, which is

1188
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 3: what I anticipated and one of the main reasons I

1189
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 3: waited so long to tell her, I put her in

1190
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 3: my shoes and asked how she would feel if a

1191
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 3: female coworker of mine acted in a similar way. It

1192
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,360
Speaker 3: seemed like she hadn't considered that, and she admitted to

1193
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 3: being jealous and insecure in the past, which made me

1194
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:46,480
Speaker 3: feel better. I don't think she's cheating. I think he's

1195
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 3: incredibly paranoid.

1196
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, given everything we were like that was said

1197
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 1: about those interactions at the restaurant.

1198
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,880
Speaker 3: All we know is that he said, yo, when I

1199
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 3: was banging your wife, and that op said that she

1200
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 3: didn't hear or like se like she didn't hear it.

1201
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:06,320
Speaker 1: Belligerently drinky, not belligerently. But he's like drinking. He's overly drinky.

1202
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 3: Dude. This sounds like when when guys go when I

1203
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:11,880
Speaker 3: was banging your mom. That's what that sounds.

1204
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:15,399
Speaker 1: So here's an interesting psychological principle that I've learned from

1205
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 1: about interrogations from the police. Right when you're innocent and

1206
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 1: accused of a crime, really, your reaction is going to

1207
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:26,560
Speaker 1: be wait, okay.

1208
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 5: Wait, what are we talking about? You think I did?

1209
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 3: What? What?

1210
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:30,280
Speaker 5: What are you talking?

1211
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 1: No, Hey, that needs to stop. We are not we're

1212
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:34,919
Speaker 1: not talking about me doing a crime, because I didn't

1213
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 1: do one. But that's what she did. But people who

1214
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,919
Speaker 1: are guilty will perceive that, they'll they'll do a flip

1215
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 1: thing in their mind where they're like, oh, well, if

1216
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 1: I freak out about it, I'll look guilty, so I

1217
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 1: need to just be chill about it and almost ignore it.

1218
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:47,399
Speaker 5: But that is what guilty people do.

1219
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 3: I don't think she did that at all.

1220
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 1: She did she turned away. She just turned away and

1221
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 1: pretended like she didn't hear it.

1222
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 3: That's what she don't know, he said. I don't know

1223
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 3: if she heard it or no.

1224
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 5: She she heard it, she heard it, I don't think she.

1225
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 1: Think of all the times you've been sitting around a

1226
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:03,759
Speaker 1: restaurant and you've heard someone's conversation a table away from you,

1227
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: but the same table.

1228
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 3: Sometimes person right next to me is talking. I'm like

1229
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:08,879
Speaker 3: zoned out.

1230
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,879
Speaker 1: It's all the time.

1231
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 3: I'm what's up here? What's over there? Right next to me?

1232
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 3: At a restaurant in Columbia, I was full gone. You

1233
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 3: asked me a question. I had no idea what you

1234
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 3: said to me.

1235
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's also a dozen people at that table.

1236
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 1: This is a pit table with four people.

1237
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 3: No, no, she said she was turned away. Who is

1238
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 3: she talking news?

1239
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:34,360
Speaker 1: Probably she's not talking anybody. I think that she's whistling

1240
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:35,919
Speaker 1: show to herself.

1241
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 3: With friends, Do Sophia, this guy is and his friend

1242
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 3: it's his wife's cowork He shouldn't be that comfortable joke

1243
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 3: like that. I agree. I think he's a creep. To

1244
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 3: be clear, I think he's a freaking creep. But I

1245
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 3: I think that I think that she is not cheating

1246
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 3: with I still think he's a weirdo and a creep,

1247
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 3: but I don't think that he's cheating with her. I

1248
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,880
Speaker 3: think he wants op to think that he is cheating

1249
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:58,840
Speaker 3: with her because he's attracted to Opie's wife.

1250
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 1: The cherry on top for all of this I that

1251
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,840
Speaker 1: which that very well could be true. But the cherry

1252
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 1: on top for all of this is that the wife

1253
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 1: was acting like she's she's so confused as to where

1254
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: this idea is coming from. That's the thing that's getting

1255
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 1: me is she's like, I don't understand how you could

1256
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 1: think this.

1257
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 5: It's like, girl, yeah.

1258
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,880
Speaker 1: You need to do it. Wasn't cheating then, but chet

1259
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 1: start this relationship.

1260
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 3: That's fair.

1261
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 1: So it's crazy for her to be like, well, where

1262
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:25,919
Speaker 1: is this coming from?

1263
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 3: It's that she said, Oh my god, I didn't even

1264
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 3: think about she.

1265
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 1: I know, I thought she was saying that it was

1266
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: she didn't think about if it was on oh, if

1267
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,280
Speaker 1: this was a female coworker of ops, how she'd be feeling.

1268
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 3: Was like, yeah, I've been thinking about because of how

1269
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 3: you guys got together, and she's like wow.

1270
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:42,720
Speaker 5: Regardless crazy that, she was like.

1271
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 3: Where why don't under She made lots of reassurances that

1272
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 3: if she was ever unhappy enough in our relationship that

1273
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 3: she would think about seeing someone else, that she would

1274
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 3: let me know things were bad way before it got

1275
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 3: to that point.

1276
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 5: But you didn't do that the first time.

1277
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 3: Which yeah, I agree. I don't think she's in the

1278
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:00,520
Speaker 3: right for that. It's hard to describe about You can

1279
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 3: tell someone is telling the truth, but I could really

1280
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 3: tell unless she's some kind of amazing liar, which I

1281
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 3: think I would know about after sixteen years. She did

1282
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:12,760
Speaker 3: defend her do she friend's actions a little, which I

1283
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 3: was bothered by. She said, he always says things like

1284
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 3: that and doesn't really mean anything.

1285
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 1: But see looks she's trying to be like this, disregard him.

1286
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 1: It's not happening. She's doing the list. What list? We're

1287
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,120
Speaker 1: talking about the list? No one cares about the list.

1288
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 3: I still think he's just a dip crap. I told

1289
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 3: her I didn't want to hang out with him and

1290
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,360
Speaker 3: his wife anymore. We have moved twelve hundred miles away

1291
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 3: from where they are now, so it doesn't really matter. So, yeah,

1292
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,479
Speaker 3: I'm the paranoid, insecure Jack, but that I was open.

1293
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 3: I was Dakota and I are. We are splits. We

1294
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 3: can't be and we don't know. So put in the

1295
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 3: comments if you think she's cheating, let us know what

1296
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 3: you guys think. But that's the end of that story. Yeah,

1297
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 3: and the end of this episode. So if you love us,

1298
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 3: make sure to subscribe.

1299
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 5: We love you, and see them.

1300
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 1: Oh