00:00:09 Speaker 1: I invited you hear I thought, I made myself perfectly clear, But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no guests, your presences presence enough. I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey mean? 00:00:49 Speaker 2: I am not going to start the podcast until you hear the reminder that we are having a live I said, no gifts, the very first one at Dynasty type or June twenty sixth at seven thirty pm. What else do you need to know Los Angeles? I may have already said that my mind is going. If you can't be in Los Angeles that night, or if you just won't be here, or you're in another state or you know, elsewhere, and I just don't mean enough to you to travel, you can buy the live stream that is also at dynastytypewriter dot com, and you can watch it live online as everything unfolds, or as far as I know, for seven days after you can access the live stream. So if you're I don't know, at a rave that Wednesday night, you can watch the show the next day. It's going to be a spectacle. This thing is going to be, you know, a lot of surprises, a lot of learning, and a lot of care. So I expect you to be there. 00:01:54 Speaker 1: You have. 00:01:55 Speaker 2: We've given you every possible way to watch this thing. Be there. Now, let's have a podcast. Welcome to, I said no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. We are in the backyard. What's happening. It's garbage day. The truck has been by so far for two cans. We still have one can left to be picked up. I am just out of touch with the person who's in charge of doing my taxes. He will not answer my calls. His assistant won't answer my calls. Bruce, Melissa, please, I'm I'm getting notices. I need to get in touch with these people. And now I feel like I'm in danger and that's really taking a lot of my mental energy. So Bruce, Melissa, reach out. Let's get into the podcast. I adore, I adore. Today's guest it's Johnny Pemberton. 00:02:46 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I adore be here, Johnny. 00:02:48 Speaker 2: Welcome to. 00:02:49 Speaker 3: I said no gifts a lot. What would you call this area here? 00:02:52 Speaker 2: That's a great question. It's kind of a patio. 00:02:55 Speaker 3: Right, but I feel like it's beyond patio. 00:02:57 Speaker 2: I would say it's beneath patt. I feel like a patio is kind of its own thing where you look at it and say, that's a patio. 00:03:04 Speaker 3: Right, what is a terrorists? Terrorists has to overlook, right. 00:03:07 Speaker 2: Terrorists has to overlook something This kind of overlooks about seven inches of concrete. 00:03:13 Speaker 3: Right, like sort of a potential skate ramp of sorts. 00:03:16 Speaker 2: Oh, that's not a bad idea. 00:03:17 Speaker 3: Have some teens up here tearing start filming skate video? 00:03:21 Speaker 2: My god, that's my new. 00:03:24 Speaker 3: Life crisis is skate video filmer. 00:03:27 Speaker 2: I've become a director of skate videos. 00:03:29 Speaker 3: Do you skate? I do not know. I feel like you have a skating energy. I mean I appreciate that. That's very nice. Uh, that's that's a huge compliment, an attempt like, oh yeah, when I was much younger, I did and I tried to do it, but I was never that good at it. I did. I like the whole idea of it, like to close a lot, like the culture. The culture is very nice. Culture's cool, it's very hip. It's very like, you know, you're sexy, but you're disheveled, right. 00:03:57 Speaker 2: You don't care? 00:03:58 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:03:59 Speaker 2: I feel like most skaters I knew growing up were nice people. 00:04:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so. I think it's like everything where it can be. There's there's assholes in the bunch, for sure, but I guess it's more like their assholes because they're so cool, right, You're just so damn cool. They can be dismissive. 00:04:15 Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of other like extreme sports that have that are more likely to have assholes in the group. Surfing surfing interesting, that's a big thing. Actually, do you know a lot of assholes surfers. 00:04:26 Speaker 3: I've heard stories from friends who surf how like it's very it's a real it's very clubby, very clicky here, it's other California to where if you go to certain spots, they'll be like, what the fuck are you doing here? 00:04:36 Speaker 2: Bro? 00:04:36 Speaker 3: Get the fuck off my wave. 00:04:38 Speaker 2: Yeah, that is not the energy I would expect from surfing exactly. 00:04:41 Speaker 3: That's why it's so cool. That's why it's so scary, because it's like I thought everyone was like chilling with the ocean, but they are. They are territorial as hell. 00:04:49 Speaker 2: What are they territorial? 00:04:50 Speaker 4: Like? 00:04:50 Speaker 2: They just don't want you on their waves. 00:04:52 Speaker 3: Yeah, because there's not that you'd be surprised there's actually not that many great breaks out there. 00:04:56 Speaker 2: Oh interesting, you're yourself now. 00:05:01 Speaker 3: Honestly, bro, I mean I would stick to skating because there's not a lot of kill. There's not a lot a killer breaks out there. Okay, for real, it's all goddamn beach break out here, like Kurt said, right right kill? 00:05:15 Speaker 2: Oh of course, of course have you ever served? 00:05:17 Speaker 3: No? No, not a bodysurfing a couple of times, like in North Carolina, but not like who is body surfing for? I think it's for the vacationer. 00:05:26 Speaker 2: Right, like the dad with kids, like let's get out and have a little fun. 00:05:31 Speaker 3: Or the dad who doesn't have doesn't want to buy their kid a boogie board. What's a boogie board? Lookyboard is like a like a board that you lay on your chest with. It's sort of like surfing, but you have you're writing it like a chest down on a on a sort of a half size of a surfboard, a little wider, usually made a foam. 00:05:49 Speaker 2: Okay, and wait, what was the other board we were just talking about surfing, surfboard and skateboard. There was between boogie board and surfboard. There was a board that I've already forgotten the name of because we've talked about board. 00:06:00 Speaker 3: Some say body surfing. Body surfing that's just literally your body. Oh did you know that? 00:06:05 Speaker 2: No, I was imagining a boogie board. 00:06:07 Speaker 3: No, bodysurfing is you just you can literally surf with your body if you get like these small waves. You know, they're small, like you know, I don't know what size they are, but they're not intimidating. But if you do it right, you can kind of surf all using your body as a board. So you're just kind of falling down sort of, but you can ride the wave being carried by the wave. Yeah, it works maybe a tenth of time, but when it does, it's very exhilarating because you're like, wow, I just got carried by this. 00:06:34 Speaker 2: Water, right, That to me just feels like I'm out of control. 00:06:37 Speaker 3: Well, I mean that's what it's all about. 00:06:40 Speaker 1: Bro. 00:06:41 Speaker 3: Let go see. 00:06:43 Speaker 2: When I was imagining like a tourist or whatever, is imagining them stopping at like a local grocery store and buying a boogie board, that was like, yeah, fourteen dollars and then you kind of just have it push you on to the shore. 00:06:54 Speaker 3: I think that's the idea because you want to get some merch. Okay, you always want to have some merch to buy in your location. I'm a merch guy. I will buy for a merch guy. I fucking love merch. 00:07:06 Speaker 2: You're currently wearing homemade merch, and I got this merch. 00:07:08 Speaker 3: I like, yes, my first white hat of actually liked. This is a gift. What does it say in theater? Okay, they did did a show there and they gave me some merch. 00:07:16 Speaker 2: I'm like, you know a good looking merch. 00:07:18 Speaker 3: It's a golf it's I guess it's it's a hat. It's a golf hat if you wear golfing. 00:07:22 Speaker 2: Right, No, it's I think that's the shape of a golf hat. 00:07:25 Speaker 3: Yeah. Also, white is always such a golf color. 00:07:28 Speaker 2: It's a real golf color. It's the color of like it's pristine. You're doing something kind of nice. You're not gonna get any mess on it, right, But you're wearing a thin Lizzie shirt that you've made. 00:07:38 Speaker 3: Right. I made this years ago. I don't know why were this old? This whole thing, this is really for me. This is this whole thing. 00:07:45 Speaker 2: How old is it? 00:07:46 Speaker 3: It's probably about, oh, maybe almost eight or nine years old. 00:07:51 Speaker 2: Did you trace that or is that a hand car sort of. 00:07:54 Speaker 3: It's sort of a variation on their actual logo that I made. I think I made it better because their logo like currently, like the existing logo is different than this. It's more like the L and the L and the Y are different shape really, So I just made it longer because I. 00:08:11 Speaker 2: Want to see, because it to me just looks like the thin Lizzie logo. It's that's really. 00:08:15 Speaker 3: Close, but it's a little different because I made the ending of the Y and the L longer, and I think I made the H longer. I don't think it looks better that. 00:08:26 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm looking on a Lisa is holding it up. I'm going to look at it for a minute and then look over. 00:08:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, see this doesn't match up over here. I thought that looked interesting. 00:08:35 Speaker 2: Just he's not as long, right, So the casual observer just thinks it's official. 00:08:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's it's basically official, but it's it's boot leg. It's slightly bootleg. Yeah, it's definitely boutleg. 00:08:45 Speaker 2: It's certainly I like a bootleg concert te I do too. 00:08:49 Speaker 3: Yeah, I like anything bootleg pretty much. 00:08:51 Speaker 2: You make, don't you sell T shirts? 00:08:53 Speaker 3: I do? Yeah, I don't do it as much right now, but I have. It's like a thing I I don't know, I just like like to make. It all started because I was making sure it's for myself and people were like, where'd you get that? And like I made it? And so because I started doing a hand drawn So the first one I did was a it was the Pentagonial logo, but it says Monsanto. And that was when I just made for myself. And then I started printing them and selling them. 00:09:16 Speaker 2: Are you screen printing? 00:09:18 Speaker 3: I do screenprint a bunch of them. 00:09:19 Speaker 2: Yeah, do you do you own like a Okay, go to a facility. 00:09:24 Speaker 3: I got a guy in Long Beach, Oh does it. And the screenprints, it's the thing though always people do these like digital prints, but they don't. They do not look as good like if you get a screenprint. It's so much. That's the that's the thing with merch is so much merches. It's just not very good. There's much I have, like a the colors have no weight to them, and it's just unfortunate because you have a cares design. 00:09:46 Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, I think in high school we got to do a screenprint of design we could make and there's like a I mean, there's just more texture. 00:09:56 Speaker 3: So yeah, so it's very it's like a tactile. It's more like visceral kind of things. All these words. 00:10:03 Speaker 2: I made this shirt, but it's not screen printed, and as you can tell, it looks very cheap. 00:10:07 Speaker 3: It doesn't. It looks good though. 00:10:08 Speaker 2: It looks no no, no, no no. 00:10:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, because sometimes you sh just have to age a bit. No this. 00:10:13 Speaker 2: If this has been screen printed, this would have been dazzling. 00:10:16 Speaker 3: I guess you can see how the letters look digital. I wanted the letters to look digital, so that was on purpose, right. 00:10:22 Speaker 2: Okay, but you know, I think if it were screen printed, it would be a whole another bulking. 00:10:28 Speaker 3: It will, but it's one color, so we would be pretty cheap and easy to do. How much does that cost? It depends on the how may you do? 00:10:34 Speaker 2: Okay, that's always the problem. 00:10:35 Speaker 3: This is an off air conversation. This is not enough. 00:10:39 Speaker 2: A lot of listeners are looking to screen print a large amount of teas. 00:10:44 Speaker 3: When I say off air, I mean I don't know, you don't know. 00:10:48 Speaker 2: No whatever. I like, every probably eight months I'm like, oh, I want to screen printed shirt. Then you get online and it's like you have to order nine. Yeah, minimum twelve order And I'm not ordering myself twelve of the same T shirt to store them, storing them. 00:11:04 Speaker 3: And sizing too, because I when I will buy a bunch to sell, I try to figure out what sizes are people going to be wearing in this city or whatever, And I'm always wrong. 00:11:13 Speaker 2: Oh oh, I mean that's the age old problem. That's clearance racks tell that tale, bided They're small. 00:11:21 Speaker 3: Everyone thing is small as big, right. 00:11:23 Speaker 2: I feel like I if I go to the store and I want to buy something on sale, they it's always too big. 00:11:29 Speaker 3: Small things are rarely on the sale rack. That's true. I feel like. 00:11:34 Speaker 2: America does not care about the small man. 00:11:37 Speaker 3: No, definitely not unless you get like extra small, which you'll see or you'll see like basically it's like a children's side, like a large child size. We're talking my size. You can do a large child. I could. I'm probably a large child. I used to do it, but I think now I just can't handle the way it fits on me. It's like I don't have the confidence or the I want the comfort of a fitting, not like the not being crushed. 00:12:01 Speaker 2: Although I will say a large child's shirt is a different A large child's different shape of person than a small man. 00:12:10 Speaker 3: Sometimes it's better. It's like a boxier cut, much boxier. That's such a big thing too, is the cut of the shirt. Some shirts are just sort of like they don't look nice. They have like a weird I don't know. I'm a real snob with that stuff. 00:12:23 Speaker 2: Although I feel like we're kind of in a boxy shirt era. We are kind of people are liking a boxy shirt, and as a small person, I just don't feel like when I'm wearing a boxy shirt, it looks like I'm wearing my older brother's shirt. 00:12:35 Speaker 3: What if you have a smaller because if it's not too long, it would look. 00:12:38 Speaker 2: Nice and short boxy shirt. 00:12:43 Speaker 3: It's almost like a larger crop top and a. 00:12:46 Speaker 2: Larger crop top. I don't know if I could get into a crop. 00:12:48 Speaker 3: I don't know about that. I definitely can't do that. 00:12:51 Speaker 2: I mean, I think anyone can do a crop top if it seems like they did it on purpose. Yeah, if it seems like they're wearing a crop top by mistake, then people are wondering. 00:12:59 Speaker 3: I'm I'm just one hundred percent no, I cannot do a crop top. I will not wear that. I don't think anyone wants to. I just yeah, because it's like, if you don't feel like good in it, you know, right, and it's then I can't I can't do it. 00:13:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, you just have to feel good in it. You have like these train conductor paints. 00:13:15 Speaker 3: I guess that's what they are. Yeah, these are They were sold to me as carpenter pants. 00:13:19 Speaker 2: Carpenter. No, these are better than carpenter paints. 00:13:22 Speaker 3: What they said they were an Italian carpenter, the Italian carpenter who found some train conductor. 00:13:29 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh no that no. I feel like this is like a conductor. 00:13:32 Speaker 3: And engineer, so I think it is. I don't know what engineers are wearing these days. I feel like we're all disappointed by modern trade outfits. I bet you used to be so colorful and specific, and now they're. 00:13:43 Speaker 2: Just everybody used to look like they were from the Richard Scary, illustratious, exactly, like they had their specific job. The chef had the hat, the train conductor was wearing these pants and a hat. 00:13:54 Speaker 3: And now chefs are like, oh, they're just on drugs, covered in tattoos, screaming, how do you know it's that they're smoking. Are they smoking? Do they have hand tattoos? It's a chef, and like, how do you know it's a trade? So how do you know it's a brick layer? Do they have tattoos? Are they did they go to prison? That's a that's a brick layer. The only sign of any trade. It's just tons of tattoos, like poorly done tattoos that were done in like the fit of like addiction recovery exactly. 00:14:24 Speaker 2: I feel like a train conductor at this point would probably wear an ill fitting polo. 00:14:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, like I'm once super stretched and they're kind of unwashed. 00:14:32 Speaker 2: Maybe do they even have a train conductor at this point? Or is it a robot? 00:14:35 Speaker 3: I mean it's gonna be a robot soon. I mean I think they're getting close to it. 00:14:39 Speaker 2: That thing is just on a track. No offense to the conductors, but yeah, that's. 00:14:44 Speaker 3: Probably the most offense that you can possibly say. 00:14:46 Speaker 4: I bet, like, how dear everyone keeps saying it's just on a track, But. 00:14:50 Speaker 3: We have to do so much. 00:14:52 Speaker 2: I guess they probably do have. I will hand it to conductors. They probably can do other things. 00:14:58 Speaker 3: I bet it's so difficult. It's probably a nightmare. Actually, it's all extremely stressed, so stressful. I've heard stories about conductors who have hit a person, you know, because you can't stop the train right and you know you're going to kill this person, and so you have to live with that. And that's like once you go back to work, you are just that is on your mind. 00:15:19 Speaker 2: Now you're just the murderer conductor. Yeah, when people get hit by trains when it's not on purpose, I just. 00:15:30 Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know what to say about that anymore. You like, you think what to say about how they it just don't be there. You should know, you should know. It's just such a so nasty. 00:15:43 Speaker 2: I guess it's one of those things where it feels so obvious that it wouldn't happen, that it probably you take it for granted, and then. 00:15:50 Speaker 3: You get hit and then you're just you're gone. And then you're gone. You've been smashed by a train. I don't know. 00:15:57 Speaker 2: People are they play some funny games, play some funny game. 00:16:00 Speaker 3: Yeah, don't go on the tracks. 00:16:06 Speaker 2: What have you been up to? 00:16:07 Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know. I've been I was in Oklahoma for like a month. Oh, I was in Oklahoma's working on a pilot. Oh it was nice. 00:16:15 Speaker 2: Way Oklahoma kind of has a kind of a burgeoning arts scene. 00:16:18 Speaker 3: It does, actually very much, so, especially Tulsa. I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma. 00:16:21 Speaker 2: They're kind of like trying to lure people there. 00:16:23 Speaker 3: Right, definitely are. They're doing a great job. Okay, It's it's really fun there. It's for the size of the city, it is exceptionally interesting and fun and diverse and very much. I find that, like any kind of you know, a small place, a small town anywhere, especially in a place you know in the southern area, people are wanting to be like, hey, we're cool. Oh of course I want to let you know that. Hey, the stuff you've heard we I might sound like this, but look we do not lack that guy you think we lack. 00:16:56 Speaker 2: Okay, this is like I I think I know this experience very well totally. 00:17:01 Speaker 3: I mean, I flick Salt Lake. There's a lot of hipsters there. It's like. 00:17:06 Speaker 2: You really have to work to differentiate yourself from the prevailing culture. 00:17:10 Speaker 3: We know something about people who live in Utah as they like to work. It's like the Mormons took hipster down and they took like how can I make the whole idea of working hard put it into being hip because all the hipsters I know, all the hippus hipsters I know are from Utah, Is that true. I've met a bunch of them there. I'm like you, you are really going hard in this. 00:17:34 Speaker 2: That was part of the reason I needed to get out, because I didn't want to have to work that hard at being cool. 00:17:38 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:17:39 Speaker 2: I just felt like a lot of effort. The tattoos you had to Mike do you had to be kind of a pristine cool person. 00:17:46 Speaker 3: I don't have that. It's like a certain style there. 00:17:49 Speaker 2: Right, because you don't you want to let people know I'm not part of this other thing. Yeah, I couldn't do it, so I got out. But now they have this giant music festival that's happening everybody loves. Yeah. Really, it's called it's named after a small venue I used to go to, actually called Kilby Court. I think it's called Kilby Block Party. It's like the music festival. Now, Wow, it's bizarre. I would have never had a million Niggers expected. 00:18:15 Speaker 3: That because the Mormons really into singing, aren't they. 00:18:17 Speaker 2: Isn't it a thing Mormons loved to sing. They love to play an instrument, right, they have obviously the famous tabernacchire. I can't sing, really, I'm not. I'm an ex Mormon. But a lot of Mormons love to sing. They love musical theater. There's a wholesomeness about it. 00:18:34 Speaker 3: I think, yeah, they're they're great singers too. It's like it's like a weird thing. It's like the Philippines, right with karaoke, which is kind of endemic. 00:18:41 Speaker 2: Right, It's just kind of there and everybody does it. 00:18:44 Speaker 3: Born to harmonize. 00:18:48 Speaker 2: Did you you're from the Midwest, Yeah, I grew up. There were there any Mormons around you? 00:18:53 Speaker 3: I don't think so. I didn't know about I really didn't understand it until much later I read Under the Manner of Heaven. Of course, my god, that's a wild idea. That's a wild that is crazy to me. 00:19:05 Speaker 2: Do you remember any the I mean, there are some really graphic details that we don't need to go over. But there's that thing about the dream mind. Do you remember this. The Mormons that have this mine, well, they're not Mormons, they're fundamentalists. 00:19:16 Speaker 3: Right, it's very different. But they have a. 00:19:18 Speaker 2: Mine in south of Salt Lake City, called the dream Mine, which is empty but that they think is going to eventually be filled with jewels and gold or something. 00:19:30 Speaker 3: I don't remember that part, but that's a tracks. I want to go there so bad. 00:19:34 Speaker 2: But I imagine they're the type of people that like patrol it with shotguns. Yeah, so I don't know that. I'm I guess I could be converted. 00:19:42 Speaker 3: Don't poke around what you're doing. What you're doing right here? 00:19:46 Speaker 2: Yeah, you end up getting chased by like a pickup. There's somebody in the back with a rifle or multiple pickups. 00:19:52 Speaker 3: Oh my god, attack and you have to have dinner with them? You have to have dinner? 00:19:58 Speaker 2: Is that before You've been down? 00:20:01 Speaker 3: And chase you down to invite you. If you refuse our hospitality, you will be dealt with force. Force will be dealt upon you if you refuse our our long descended dinner phone with a game night following, I sing along Game night to follow. You choose to quiplash for hours, It's gonna take six hours. We'll release you afterwards. But if you can't make the time for that, you can't make the time for your life. 00:20:28 Speaker 4: Uh. 00:20:28 Speaker 2: Can I ask your opinion on quiplash? 00:20:31 Speaker 3: I don't know that game like this thing? I hate it? Aren't they all the same? At some point? It's like balder dash or categorizing scattergories is trivia? 00:20:40 Speaker 2: Maybe, Okay, quiplashes. 00:20:42 Speaker 3: Kind of came up with the pandemic. I think, oh, right, is it the one on your phone? 00:20:47 Speaker 2: You're shohn your computer and your phone and you have to make like right, they're like funny prompts, and that's the problem for me. Yeah, where it's just agonizing and it's uh, I get pulled into this thing and I'm just in pain the entire game. 00:21:02 Speaker 3: Yeah, I always end up doing stuff where it's like, Okay, how can I make fun of this game in the process while still technically playing it, like say the worst thing or just say like something that is Yeah, I just always want I always want to make fun of the thing I'm doing as I'm doing it. 00:21:21 Speaker 2: Obviously, just have a problem with intimacy. You aren't able to be intimate with your game partners. 00:21:27 Speaker 3: That's probably it. There we go. Yeah, I think that's my problem, and just the game, the fact that they tell you what to do, or when people get rewarded for being funny who they are not funny? That's a good problem. Absolutely, so I just refuse to participate. 00:21:41 Speaker 2: But sometimes you show up at somebody's house and they announce that that's what they're doing. 00:21:46 Speaker 3: Oh nope, not me. I don't show up to many things that have those type of things going on. 00:21:51 Speaker 2: Are you a very social person? 00:21:53 Speaker 3: I don't know. I like to be, but I think in yeah, I guess so. I don't know. It's changed the years. I guess. I just like to socialize. I guess I'm not super social, but I like to with certain people. You're selective. Yeah, I have a lot of friends who I know from I went to college with, and it's and we have like such a shorthand, so we hang out a lot because it's you know, they don't work in the industry, so that's my favorite thing. If they work, and it's like a different, a wholly different thing, and so right, yeah, right, right, yeah. 00:22:28 Speaker 2: People from high school and college, when you get to talk to them compared to anybody else in your life, it's just so much more fun. 00:22:36 Speaker 3: Right. 00:22:36 Speaker 2: A friend just moved for that I've known since kindergarten. Anytime I talk to him, it's just like, oh, this is joy, this is pure joy. Because we just know every like for this. Yeah, we speak the same language exactly and we don't have to worry about all the other nonsense. Right, do you host parties do anything like that? 00:22:54 Speaker 3: I like to host outdoor parties. Outdoor I do like to do. I like to cook for people. Oh right, right, I really enjoy that. Are you at the grill? I was, sometimes we'll do a crawfish boil. Actually, yeah, is that something you grew up doing or a little bit. My mom was from Louisiana, so I grew up eating that was like my favorite food as a kid was food from New Orleans. And I remember the first time I went to a crawfish boil was like the first year I moved here. There was a friend of my one of my friends had a friend who lived in Venice at this little house in Venice and they he was in from Louisiana and he had a crawfish bowl and I went there. I was like, this is the most It's so fun. It's so much fun. And the taste is like this very unique taste you can't get otherwise, not just the crawfish themselves, but like you have the corn, the potatoes in there and all the other stuff. It's and a taste. It's like this unique blend of lemoni, pepper, vinegar. Oh it's so it's so fragrant too, because all the spices you put in there. It's just such a fun I don't know something about it. It's like a fun drinking daytime event that I was like, I want to do. 00:23:56 Speaker 2: This is the crawfish like closest to cray that. 00:24:00 Speaker 3: I would say, it's close. It's like a miniature lobster okay, yeah, or it's not a shrimp maybe, but it's less it has less taste to it. Also, you're putting so much spices in it. I mean, the thing that no one ever talks about is that, uh, crawfish is poverty food. It's the same as like all these dishes now that are so popular, and it's like, oh, this is this is the cheapest thing you could get, right. You would catch this in a lake. You catch it for free, like in a stream or a lake, and then you put tons of spices in there because it's like you have to make it taste good, right, and yeah, you do it as cheaply as you possibly can't. 00:24:35 Speaker 2: Where do you buy crawfish? Do you go to the grocery store you. 00:24:38 Speaker 3: Have getting shifting them shipped in? It comes it becomes luxury, exactly the total opposite. If I do it here, I have to spend like hundreds of dollars to have it air fraid in because they have to ship them live. 00:24:51 Speaker 2: Oh but yeah, because they'll rot or wow. So you just get a crate full of live bugs. 00:24:58 Speaker 3: Like eighty pounds of them, wow, and I'll boil them up and serve them and stuff and it's it's fun. 00:25:05 Speaker 2: Eighty pounds of crawfish? Is that hundreds of crawfish? 00:25:09 Speaker 3: I think it's probably, uh, it's probably like a couple of hundred crawfish. Wow. I'm not trying to think, because there's not a lot of meat on these guys. 00:25:16 Speaker 2: You know, do they scream when you boil them? 00:25:19 Speaker 3: They do not know? Okay, I do not. 00:25:22 Speaker 2: Because loves are screamed, don't they They do? 00:25:24 Speaker 3: But isn't that just the steam escaping their shells? 00:25:27 Speaker 2: That's I hope that's true. Actually, I hope that I heard. 00:25:31 Speaker 3: I think it was. Yeah. And also crawfish there basically are bugs, you know, these are they are the lowest, they're very a very low life form. I like them a lot, but I just I don't feel it's not the same as mammal, right what we should be eating. Probably it's just these circs of crawfish, yeah, because they have a lot of good stuff in them. 00:25:54 Speaker 2: Do you ever watch alone? 00:25:55 Speaker 3: I have watched it. I've watched pretty much almost survival shows. I've watched a little bit of them. 00:26:00 Speaker 2: Okay, we've been watching it again recently. 00:26:02 Speaker 3: Do you go through Naked and Afraid or No? I don't. When I hear that name, I think it's cheap. That's got to be cheap, right, it's cheap. It's so like so like, I mean, I like negga Afraid because it's so tacky. It's just like they invented your PSR. Like what this is all just invented? Are your primitive Survival Rating to give to you? It's everything is constructed, there's nothing, you know, it's all this thing where because I do a lot of backpacking and stuff, and there's so much things on those shows where they drum up the danger it's so dangerous and really it's not that dangerous at all. Alone though, Does that feel legitimate? I think that's more much molegitimate yeah, I. 00:26:44 Speaker 2: Mean they're eating mice, eating mice constantly. 00:26:46 Speaker 3: The thing to me is just the literally being alone aspect. 00:26:49 Speaker 2: People lose their minds. 00:26:51 Speaker 3: I don't want to do anything like that alone ever. 00:26:54 Speaker 2: Can you The one I'm watching now, they're in Mongolia. You're just alone for seventy days, mice crawling all over you, just no one to talk to, although they get to talk to somebody once a week. That's what they don't tell you. I don't know what it's like a I think it's called like redemption. It's people who have failed before. 00:27:13 Speaker 3: That's the only thing about these shows. There's a whole new class of people who have like you that you know, not the Bachelor. When you watch those people there, they have made a lifestyle around being contestants on these shows. They haven't. 00:27:25 Speaker 2: That's their talent and there's lingo. 00:27:27 Speaker 3: Yes, they have shorthand, and that's what's happened with these shows. Now, there's so many survival shows where people have like a shorthand. 00:27:34 Speaker 2: Yeah, you watch the first season of Alone compared to now, it's a completely different Like the people have obviously watched the show and I've learned to actually build structures and stuff. The first season, they're like just wrapped up in a tarp, and now they're in log cabins. They're like literally using like Lincoln logs to build cabins. 00:27:49 Speaker 3: I gotta watch that one. You don't have to watch it. 00:27:52 Speaker 2: I mean this season in particular, every episode someone is eating a mouse. You see them gutting the mouse. It's disgusting. 00:27:59 Speaker 3: A mouse is just the worst thing to eat. 00:28:01 Speaker 2: I think once you've eaten the mouse, you've lost. Yeah, no amount of money will ever make up for the fact that you eat a mouse to try to survive on a reality show. Just go home. 00:28:13 Speaker 3: I don't know, it doesn't make any sense. I really like a tiny snake than a mouse. 00:28:17 Speaker 2: Oh, I would absolutely. 00:28:18 Speaker 3: I've eaten snake before. I think I have a snake sausage one. 00:28:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, which is everybody takes a sausage. I would probably eat a mouse sausage to be honest. 00:28:29 Speaker 3: Mouse just the thought of it. I don't know something about that. I would not. I would not eat a mouse sausage. Definitely wouldn't. 00:28:37 Speaker 2: I mean I can't imagine, I mean, the amount of mice that would happen. I apologize to a listener. You'd rather eat a rat. 00:28:43 Speaker 3: Than a mouse. Why Because rats bigger. So it's like the meat is further away from the things you don't want to eat. There's something about the size of an animal where I feel like there's like a separation between right edible and edible. There's more physical distance. That's what gets me, because there's no way unless you're doing the mouse out, and when you're alone, you've got the time to really separate the stuff. I couldn't run into this bathroom right now. 00:29:11 Speaker 2: I imagine people are eating things when they listen to a podcast frequently. Yeah, there should be some sort of warning, but unfortunately not this episode. They'll probably just stop listening to the podcast altogether now, and we've lost hundreds of listeners. 00:29:26 Speaker 3: All these gen zs. They want warnings, they want oh spoil they're warning. 00:29:30 Speaker 2: They want eating warning. 00:29:32 Speaker 4: Oh there's gonna be some flashes, gen Z look out. Oh you got epilepsy, don't go to the movies. Stay home, it's my tim Allen ran Hey, stay home, just die. 00:29:48 Speaker 3: Just you know what, You better get busy living or get busy dying. 00:29:58 Speaker 2: Well, I think we should talk about something else. For something else we do need to talk about. I was really excited to have you here today. 00:30:05 Speaker 3: I was excited to be here. 00:30:06 Speaker 2: I thought we'd have a nice time. I loved Johnny. What could possibly go wrong? So it's a little surprised, you know. Of course the podcast is called I said no Gifts. 00:30:15 Speaker 3: I was kind of told that late oh late in the game. 00:30:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, didn't at least call you on the way over. 00:30:22 Speaker 3: My reps try to get a hold of me, and I just have you know, I have a no. I only answered the phone on odd minutes, So it's just like a thing I have. 00:30:31 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, Well that explains then why we've kind of got this gift here, this massive item. 00:30:38 Speaker 3: Yeah, should I open it? Here on the kind of already opened? 00:30:43 Speaker 2: It is out of the bag. I don't know what it is. Well, oh okay, now that I'm looking at the label, I know what it is. And this is actually a great thing to own. It's a folding hand truck. 00:30:57 Speaker 3: Well, like all gifts I give, I like to give something that I own myself, and I have one of these, and it has been indispensable in my life and sense where I cannot believe how much I've used this for how much I paid for it. What are you using your hand truck for well, I was gonna gift you a landscaping rock, but I just realized I didn't have them the effort to move it today. What is a landscaping rock. It's a rock that you use for landscaping. It's like a rock that you you know, like a sort of you would put maybe over there by that grass to create a little bit of a different feel. 00:31:32 Speaker 2: Oh so it's like a piece of It's not a like a primitive tool. 00:31:35 Speaker 3: No, like a big rock. It's just a mess a large stone that has an interesting shape that you can use. 00:31:41 Speaker 2: Do you have a rock sling around your yard? 00:31:43 Speaker 3: I have a bunch of them, Yeah, I take I have like two of them. I was gonna I keep wanting to get some bigger ones, but the ones I have we're as big as I can physically move myself. I think any like a forklift to get one I really want. Where did you get them? I got them from a city park. They're still yeah, they're stolen, but I mean they were at the They were behind like a k rail. So no, I was looking at him. 00:32:05 Speaker 2: Right right, Yeah, how did you get them out of the park? 00:32:08 Speaker 3: He just picked it up. I picked it up, watched it way, and I put it in the trunk and I took it home. It was, you know, a great physical effort that I expended to do this. 00:32:16 Speaker 2: Did anyone see you on your way out? 00:32:18 Speaker 3: You know, I don't care what am gonna do. Call the police, tell him like a like a guy just stole a rock. Cops are go and be like, Okay, we have a woman who just died at McDonald's. You want us to go deal with this guy who stole a rock. So I feel like that's the lot of stuff I'll do that. I feel like, if I think about it, if someone calls the cops, the cops are going to laugh. 00:32:40 Speaker 2: Yeah, there are, I mean a decent amount of low level crimes, right, But I think within a city like Los Angeles, there are just other things going on. 00:32:47 Speaker 3: Oh so is that a crime? 00:32:50 Speaker 2: Taking a rock? 00:32:50 Speaker 3: If you were a police officer, I would say, I'm sorry, officer, I didn't see any sign that said I couldn't take this boulder. 00:32:57 Speaker 2: That's true, that's very true, and then asked to go through the courts system the amount of money being spent to decide whether or not you are a criminal. 00:33:05 Speaker 3: Right, I'm a taxpayer. 00:33:07 Speaker 2: The jury selection for that court case fascinating. Oh man, okay, so you've taken two rocks? 00:33:14 Speaker 3: Yeah, are you? 00:33:15 Speaker 2: And so you'll just be walking through a parking and say that looks like a nice rock. 00:33:18 Speaker 3: Well, I kind of hike like a like a hiking spot. There's a lot of work then, well, usually at where the cars are parked kind of Oh sure, so they're part of a parking lot. Yeah, I'm not carrying it like that far, but I did have to haft it over a Jersey barrier. Okay, what you know, like a k rail? You know that is concrete k rail? Oh a k rail? 00:33:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, so it's just oh the thing that's like there to stop you from driving over an edge or whatever. 00:33:47 Speaker 3: Yeah, those big concrete wall things. That's where it was. I think it was for erosion or something. But the rock itself was just kind of haphazardly there, and I thought, like, you know, I'd like to acquire this, and that's you know, you have a hand truck, I mean the hand truck, this one. I use it for gardening a lot, for everything, and the fact that it folds up is just really convenient. 00:34:10 Speaker 2: Right, pop it in the car. Then take it wherever you needed to pick things up, move that rock. So are you taking it with you places to get things or you're just keeping it at home for when you bring back back a big bag of soil. 00:34:22 Speaker 3: I've done both. Yeah, I definitely have used it to bring stuff down the driveway. It's really heavy. 00:34:27 Speaker 2: When did you buy it? Was it for a specific reason or did you just think I might need this in the future. 00:34:32 Speaker 3: I have a lot of crap. I have a lot of like tools and stuff and shovels and picks and just all kinds of a lot of like stuff. Right, So I got that when I first we first moved into our house, and I was like, I need this for for moving stuff, you know, for like moving heavy things, because it's a real it's a real backsaver. 00:34:50 Speaker 2: It is a you do a lot of gardening, yeah, like a recent development in your life or. 00:34:57 Speaker 3: No, I'm done it for like a long time. It's like almost I would say, an obsession. Really, Oh yeah, I was like for a while I was almost unhealthily obsessed with it, Like it was this thing where I was just ruled my thought all the time. What did that lead to? 00:35:12 Speaker 2: Just a beautiful garden outstanding garden. 00:35:14 Speaker 3: Yeah, outstanding I had. I had two plots and then some I used to live in Frogtown years ago, and there was a community garden that opened up basically right after we moved in, right across the street, and I was just there every day. I was Yeah, I just loved it. And I was like, go, I'll go nuts in there and right, growing as much as I possibly could produce. Yeah. I like to grow vegetables, Okay, I had to grow many vegetables. I mean I have like anytime I go to someone's house, I'm like, you got you got an empty space there? 00:35:48 Speaker 2: I have this little over here like a vegetable garden that I write it's an absolute message. 00:35:53 Speaker 3: Behind that wall. 00:35:54 Speaker 2: See that little like concrete thing with the plants on top of it. Beneath there is a bunch of soil. 00:35:59 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:36:00 Speaker 2: Unfortunately, the people who built this house planted mint in there, right, and mint is literally impossible to remove. 00:36:08 Speaker 3: I mean, you can get rid of it. 00:36:10 Speaker 2: I've tried, really, and I think I always miss one strand and then it repopulates the entire thing. 00:36:16 Speaker 3: That's interesting, Yeah, because especially in that area, because it's probably dormant underneath the sidewalk area there because it's like rhizomal so it's just going to be just the side shot roots, right, it's uh yeah. 00:36:29 Speaker 2: So I'll plant something in there and then it just gets overtaken by mint. I mean there's mint popping out of that. 00:36:33 Speaker 3: I can see it. 00:36:35 Speaker 2: I loved, obviously love the smell of mint. 00:36:37 Speaker 3: It's wonderful, but it's it's very aggressive. You might be able to get rid of it in the fall because it will start to die back. Uh And I mean it needs a lot of water. If you stop watering that area for a while in the fall, you might be able to get rid of it. Because you don't you have those trees that rosemary doesn't need much water. That tree isn't eat me water at all. I mean, I could do a full consult if you like. But that's that's a different thing you're talking about. Like lighting is a big issue with the gardening. That's that's such a big deal, right, and seasonal planting and people I don't I only recently learned about some stuff to where you just if you plant something in the wrong time, there's no point in even trying. It just doesn't send a chance. Yeah, And there's also the other way around, where you plant something at the right time, you just can't kill it. Like what mint. Mint is definitely one thing I would say that, like certain I don't know what's something that really does. Like if you put certain winter plants, like the second spring plants in the ground at the right time, they will just flourish. 00:37:39 Speaker 2: Really yeah, I mean, mint to me is something you should only ever have in a pot. 00:37:43 Speaker 3: You ever need that much mint. I have a ton of it in the ground in our front yard. But that's like a thing where it's like a groundcover almost. Yeah, it goes nuts. It's insane. Right now. What are you doing with all of your vegetables? I try to eat them? Do you give a lot away? I don have? Like squash. It was a summer two summers ago or three summers ago where it was just busting out. I was eating squash every single day. Like, were you delicious? Oh my god, it's so good. Have you ever had fresh, fresh grilled zucchini? No, it is. You slice it thin, just a little salt and pepper, maybe some garlic powder and rubs. You paint some oil on there, you know, brush some oil on it, just grill it. I like it kind of where it's it turns almost where it's not al dente at all. It's very almost mushy. Oh I like it. 00:38:32 Speaker 2: I was going to tell you I've only ever been served mushy zucchini. No, really, I don't do well with the mush. 00:38:37 Speaker 3: Well, you know what, that makes sense, and you're you're right because that's a personal preference. But you can do it, obviously, you can do it not mushy. I like, I guess I do like it kind of al dente, like just but edging toward mush Like there's a fine line. But when you have it, when you do it right, it's just, oh my god, it's like the great I think it's just the greatest thing ever. Because you have these if you pick them when they're small enough. That's the thing is people always pick stuff the wrong time. Yeah, it's too big and this big thing it's so stiff and like it's just not flavorless. Yeah, the small zucchini or the small squash is good, and or like young okra is really good. Oh okra. 00:39:17 Speaker 2: Okay, how do you prepare okra outside of the one way I've ever eaten it. 00:39:20 Speaker 3: Which is right? Yeah, I usually make like a little like sort of a stew. 00:39:24 Speaker 2: Or tomatoes I've had stewed over, Yeah. 00:39:27 Speaker 3: Stewed okra. I mean it's sort of like with the tomatoes because the acid and the tomatoes cuts down on the the mucus of the the okra, because it does have its technically a mucus. Yeah, it's it's considered a mucilin agous vegetable. Is that true, Yeah, it is. It does have a lot of I don't know what it's technically called, but it's it's like a form of slime. It's very slimy. 00:39:49 Speaker 2: What are what are other vegetables in that category? 00:39:53 Speaker 3: I don't really know exactly. I feel like there's other ones. Maybe certain beans have that. Oh that kind of makes sense. I don't know. It's pretty unique, though, I think. 00:40:01 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I wouldn't even be able to tell you what okra looks like in the wild. I've only ever seen it prepared as a food. 00:40:07 Speaker 3: Oh really, it looks it's actually a relative of the hibiscus plant. Oh, and it has these really very pretty flowers of the early morning. They are like the super creamy white. They have like a fringe of red to them. And there has a stamen. It looks just like just like a hibiscus flower, very similar. Wow, it's really cool, like sort of sometimes three three lobed or five lobed leaves. They get really tall too. They can get really bad sometimes like eight feet tall. 00:40:38 Speaker 2: Is there anything you're growing right now that you're particularly proud of? 00:40:43 Speaker 3: I just turned. I just harvested all my garlic. Oh so I take all the garlic and I hang it up and like clusters in the trees to dry for a few weeks. There was one year where I had so much garlic, like in the pandemic when there was a garlic shortage, I was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna have garlic. I grew. I must have grew like sixty seventy heads of garlic. Oh, like four different varieties too. 00:41:04 Speaker 2: How does garlic grow? Is Is it like a tuber? 00:41:06 Speaker 3: Yeah? I don't know if it's technically a tuber. I think it might be. What do they call it? Like a bulb? Because it looks like a bulb. You just put the clove in the ground and you put it where the pointy end is up, okay, and it roots, it roots out and then it shoots up a little green sort of like onion looking stock, right, and then you garlic is in the ground for sometimes as much as nine months. You put it in the ground in September, and in places that are cold, it will overwinter in the ground and then it shoots up some of the first things to come up in the spring. And then you wait until maybe like the three or four of the bottom leaves are dry, and then you harvest it and you have to hang it up to dry because you want to be to dry out to harden. Basically, you can cook with fresh garlic, but it's it's different. It's much more mellow. 00:41:56 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, strengthens as it dry, It. 00:41:59 Speaker 3: Does, I think it does. Also, there's something with the I don't really know this is this is edge of my knowledge here with garla. 00:42:05 Speaker 2: I mean that's a decent amount of knowledge. Is this all self taught? 00:42:08 Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean that's the thing about gardening is so much bogus on the internet where because your climate zone matters so much. And also there's there's people who buy tons of tomatoes and stuff and they put them in It says full sun, but that's not California full sun. Right, You didn grow great tomatoes in California in half shade or more shade than that, because these are plants that are used to having a ton of moisture. They're from South America. They don't want to have they don't want to have this desert full sun on them. They'll just they will get destroyed. Yeah, I don't know. 00:42:39 Speaker 2: Fun doing like good information on the internet's nearly impossible. 00:42:42 Speaker 3: Especially now it's done. 00:42:44 Speaker 2: The how tos and everything are all fake. 00:42:46 Speaker 3: It's all done. It's all just like clickbait. Oh my god, I can't believe. And don't don't get me started. 00:42:53 Speaker 2: Don't get me started, kills me. You can't get any information. 00:42:57 Speaker 3: It's almost like we have to start a community together and you have to get some land and defend our community. Some like that. 00:43:08 Speaker 2: No, it really is so. I mean, I guess if you like, the secret I think now is to type the word reddit in next to whatever information you're looking for. But then you still have to comb through all of that information, see like do I trust this stranger? But I guess it's better than when you get onto one of these clickbait things where it's clearly written by some copywriter that oh my god, I've done jobs like that where I'm like, I don't know anything about this, but I just have to fill fifty, like five hundred words with this keyword one hundred times. 00:43:35 Speaker 3: Nightmare YouTube too, I watch like when I was first arnted to boil crawfish, I spent like three weeks, four weeks watching so many YouTube videos just over and over again. It was like this dominated my brain to the point where Okay, I think I have this. You have to like have it in your you have to have the feel of it, and you have to fail. I think too, that's the key. 00:43:57 Speaker 2: Did you fail? Initially I didn't. 00:43:59 Speaker 3: Fail fail, but if my first batch was not as flavorful as it should be, because you know, when you do something for the first time, you're like, oh, is this this seems like a lot. It seems like a lot to do anything because the amounts always feel people who are good chefs like I am not a good chef. I watch people who are. You know, you see someone who's like a naturally good chef, they just feel for it, like what are you doing? You just you're talking to me as you're cutting something. Are you kidding me? 00:44:26 Speaker 2: It requires all of my con I'm so nervous. 00:44:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, because when I'm cooking, I am doing our talk to me, I am. I do not want to mess this up. It's all I can think about. 00:44:37 Speaker 2: Because if I do, it will ruin my night. 00:44:39 Speaker 3: Oh, because you have to. Could you imagine serving something that's not cool? 00:44:43 Speaker 2: I would never invite someone over for dinner. There's no way, are you kidding? 00:44:47 Speaker 3: Oh my god? The stress I like. I kind of like the stress, but I I have to be engaged in it fully otherwise I will just be I'm like a wreck. I'm just a fucking sweaty wreck. 00:45:00 Speaker 2: I mean, there is something nice about the stress of like doing a thing that's not related to like for me, like not related to how I make a living. 00:45:07 Speaker 3: Yeah exact, I'm just like I'm. 00:45:08 Speaker 2: Stressing about a vegetable or whatever, or how this is going to be baked, that will the outcome of That means nothing in my actual life. 00:45:15 Speaker 3: Did you get into baking? 00:45:16 Speaker 2: That's all I do, that's the only that's the only sort of food I make at homes baked good. 00:45:20 Speaker 3: See, I'm opposite. I don't like baking because baking is so precise, right, I like to build baked. I'm gonna do a little I'm gonna do a little jazz, you know, ultimately an artist, I'm ultimately I'm sort of a jazz artist when it comes to I like to throw a little sad dash here kind of thing. 00:45:36 Speaker 2: I mean. That is the nice thing about cooking is I mean, you can eventually ruin a food, but there are a lot of like safety nets where you can keep like tooling around with it. But with baking, once it's in the oven, whatever you put in there is essentially the finished product. But it's nice because if you once you get a hang of it, and if you can measure correctly and follow directions, you know, it will probably be a good product. 00:45:59 Speaker 3: You ever me like not bread or anything like that. No, see that any type of bread. I get freaked out. See that's what I want to be able to do. 00:46:05 Speaker 2: No, I mean good, non, God. 00:46:07 Speaker 3: I would kill to be There's recipes I see on TikTok and stuff where I'm like, oh my god, this looks I'd be able to make homemade like chicken curry with dumbread or something like that, or absolute. 00:46:18 Speaker 2: Dream and none and like non pieda tortillas are all essentially the same ingredients, but they're very difficult to make. 00:46:26 Speaker 3: They are when they're good, they're just like so good where you're you can't go back, No, you can't go back. 00:46:33 Speaker 2: And a lot of restaurants, I think underestimate how important that part of the meal is. 00:46:39 Speaker 3: That's what that's what I'm there for, truly for. If it's tortillas, I'm there for the tortilla. 00:46:44 Speaker 2: Yes, that's a big problem with La Mexican food. I've read articles about this. Actually there aren't a lot of good large flower tortillas in Los Angeles. 00:46:52 Speaker 3: But when you see them being made like in front of you. 00:46:56 Speaker 2: Like, oh, it's all I want in the world. God, damn, have you ever made a tort you? 00:47:00 Speaker 3: Oh No, I don't know. I won't even I mean I should, I should get into that. There's so many things I would like to do. God, maybe we should do that. 00:47:10 Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, it's during pandemic and they tasted good. But the shape was always like it looked like Idaho or something it was like, and I wanted to just be a nice round thing. 00:47:20 Speaker 3: Idaho is a bad shape. Is the shape that is so specific it just means this is not round. This is the not the not round is shape. 00:47:30 Speaker 2: They dropped the ball in a huge way. Then it's right next to Utah, which is a really nice little square boot with the dip. 00:47:36 Speaker 3: With the dip, it's got you know, chunk. 00:47:39 Speaker 2: It's geometrically perfect in a way. 00:47:42 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:47:43 Speaker 2: But then you look at Idaho and you think somebody made that by mistake. 00:47:47 Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know the history of that, but it's got I'm sure it's fraught with probably a lot of killing. 00:47:52 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of killing that which. 00:47:54 Speaker 3: I don't know. That's what I love about all that Western history is it's just even under the banner of heaven, it's just how much back and forth, just so heavy duty, so brutal. 00:48:06 Speaker 2: A lot of very graphic violence. Oh yeah, a lot of Uh what is is that in the book The Mountain Meadows Massacre, I. 00:48:13 Speaker 3: Think there's a couple of maskers in there. Yeahs, and they are massacres. 00:48:18 Speaker 2: Massacres within the last two hundred years. It's not like ancient history. Yeah, awful, But that was the wild West. 00:48:27 Speaker 3: It was. It's called the wild West. I guess I always forget that wild. 00:48:32 Speaker 2: You camp a lot, not a lot, I feel like, I mean, the fact that I know you camp. 00:48:37 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm indicating by you that you're a camp I'm a showcaser, You're a camping, You're a show camper. If I'm gonna feel this bad, I'm gonna tell people about it, I'm gonna film it. I'm gonna like take the pictures and make it look sexy as possible. 00:48:51 Speaker 2: It always looks incredible. It always seems like you're enjoying yourself. 00:48:54 Speaker 3: I am enjoying myself. I guess there's always a piece where you know it's hard to sleep. Yeah, that's the problem. Each year I do it, it becomes harder to sleep. And even though the equipment keeps getting better, it's just like, man, this is rough. 00:49:08 Speaker 2: How long do you go camping for where you go for a full week or is it just like an overnight? 00:49:11 Speaker 3: Usually like a week or so. But we'll do maybe three nights in the back country at the most. And that's like serious. We'll be in the back country off the trail. You've got to carry a lot in. 00:49:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, where do you like. 00:49:23 Speaker 3: To go camping? It's almost always in the Yosemite or that area. I have a good friend who is from Minnesota and he works out there. He works for the USGS, and he will take us on his off days. He has like, you know, eight or nine days off at a time, like his big because he hikes for a living. He's up in the back country. He counts some endangered species and measures them and all this stuff. Oh wow, he's our guide and he's taking me places that are just exceptional, like places where no one's I mean people have been everywhere obviously, but places where I think maybe one percent of the park visitors have gone because it's a deep off the trails. It's uh, do you feel like you're in danger? Uh? Not with him, but they had. I did get one of those little in reach garment and reach things last year because I was. 00:50:11 Speaker 2: Thinking, is that as a GPS, a GPS. 00:50:13 Speaker 3: Things that we can call. You can do an SOS if you need to, you can text. You have a couple of texts. You can text like, hey, I'm alive. 00:50:19 Speaker 2: Addicted to our devices for Ultimately. 00:50:22 Speaker 3: I think it's yes, it's addicted to being connected, you know. But the uh, because if he were to die suddenly, I will be pretty pretty horrifying. 00:50:32 Speaker 2: So they are you being lost in the woods, Yeah, not knowing what direction to turn getting more and more lost. The panic that's setting in. That doesn't work for me. 00:50:43 Speaker 3: The good thing is there's lots of water to drink out there, and you know, you kind of know where you are. It's just more about can you get there with the available food that you have. 00:50:53 Speaker 2: Why is it so difficult to get to these certain areas? Is it a lot of like rock climbing. 00:50:58 Speaker 3: That's much rock climbing. It's just literally physical distance. You have to go up a climb up a hill for a couple of miles, through bushwack a bit through some trees and stuff, and then you get to like an out well. You know, it's elevation too. Elevation is a big deal because it's hard to get up there. 00:51:16 Speaker 2: Have you seen any wild animals? Yeah, you know. 00:51:20 Speaker 3: We saw last time last summer. We saw this bear. It was barely through the woods. We didn't know what it was at first. I thought it was like a bore or something. Was running so fast as we're running along this dirt road we were driving to to where we're going to camp that night, and it was going nuts. And then we camped that night. We set up This is a less less primitive camping we're at like a spot that had at firing and stuff, and uh, we climb up this little peaked at sunset to go look over the valley on their side and we're up there. I'm taking a picture of the four of us total. And right after I take that picture, we see this bear just full speed trucking through the meadow paralleled us and I wasn't able to get out my camera to take a picture of fast it was going so fast. And it was a big, big bear California. It's a black bear. So which they're I mean, they're truly not dangerous especially not or No, they're not. I mean what does that mean? It means that they are they're not brown bears, they're not grizzlies. 00:52:23 Speaker 2: Are grizzlies just like aggressive and they're out to kill there. 00:52:26 Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if they're not to kill so much. 00:52:30 Speaker 2: Grizzlies are only they're only out. 00:52:32 Speaker 3: To kill us. They want us to all die. Uh. It's the big difference is this. You can scare a black bear kind of black bear. The ideas you get big, you make a lot of noise and you can scare it and you will scare it. That bear that was running by us. It was probably deathly afraid of us, that's why it was running. It wasn't headed anywhere. Oh no, I mean, I'm sure it saw us and it started to start running. And what the brown bears, You don't aggress them. You're supposed to play dead because they will if you aggress them. That ratchets up to ratchets them up. I mean sometimes black bears will like nose through your shit and they'll steal stuff. But those are the ones that are closer to like campgrounds and stuff, and they will, you know, if they're habituated to do that, then they can be aggressive. But I think the wild, the chances of it's so low, if you're deep out there out in the back huntry, that you'll have a bad experience with an animal like that. Huh. I mean that's what I tell myself, That's what I've been told. I would have to to sleep at night. Oh my friend Steve didn't sleep that night. He stayed up till like five o'clock in the morning. Oh, you know, just because he was so scared of the bear coming to visit our camp. 00:53:42 Speaker 2: But the thing is, in those situations, I just think, if I'm awake it's still going to attack me. I'd rather at least get some sleep before being attacked. 00:53:51 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I don't want to be woken up with a buy a bear. I'd rather be I don't know. 00:53:57 Speaker 2: I feel like if I'm awake, I'm gonna make a miss I'm gonna freak out. But if I'm sleep, maybe the bear kind of nudges around. By the time i'm awake, it's left. But if I'm awake, I'm making bad decisions. 00:54:12 Speaker 3: But maybe that would scare the bear. It is big much for these things. You can scare them, same as coyotes. You know, coyotes don't scare me at all. They shouldn't. People who are scared of coyotes almost it makes me piss me off because it's like they're they're so frightened of everything, they're so frightened, and they're just they're just creatures. 00:54:28 Speaker 2: That live here, starving creatures. 00:54:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're starving creatures. Like I'm so scared of these codes. There hasn't been a coyote attack on a human adult in over one hundred years. It's about time some insane thing like that. One hundred years, I think there hasn't been a. There's only been one fatality the United States ever from a coyote on an adult. They've they've taken a bunch of kids. 00:54:50 Speaker 2: Oh, I don't like to hear that, but honest child snatchers. 00:54:53 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's sad, but you know, you know, watch your kid. 00:54:57 Speaker 2: Yeah, the most the kid doing wandering around at night with kai coyotes. 00:55:01 Speaker 3: Parents, the parents, the parents. Yeah. 00:55:04 Speaker 2: I when I see a coyote, I I'd like to just stand there and. 00:55:08 Speaker 3: Look at it. Oh hell yeah. 00:55:10 Speaker 2: We look at each other and then I usually have to move because they don't move right, or when they do skiter away. That's I always feel kind of bad. I'm like, I'm sorry for interrupting your business. You're obviously looking for garbage. 00:55:22 Speaker 3: Do you ever walk toward them? 00:55:23 Speaker 2: I've never walked towards one. I mean, unless I need to get somewhere. 00:55:26 Speaker 3: Okay, have you I haven't, but just you know, to get closer. Look kind of thing, right. I love the look of a coyote. It's so cool. 00:55:34 Speaker 2: They're very unique, so scrunny and I don't know. 00:55:37 Speaker 3: Yah scruffy, and it's like they're they're traveling through a different realm. They live on a different plane, they see stuff that we don't see. 00:55:44 Speaker 2: Maybe I wonder if I have to imagine people have coyotes as pants. God, I mean people have everything as pets. 00:55:51 Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't. I menagine they're normal people. But I wonder what they'd be like because they're because there's they're pretty close to dogs. 00:55:57 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I have to imagine you have to Is it from being a puppy. Yeah, I can't imagine you're just like out on sunset picking up a coyote and taking it home to right, But I imagine it's a pretty calm little creature. 00:56:12 Speaker 3: I wouldn't mind owning one. You never know, I might just tear ass, just rip up everything. 00:56:17 Speaker 1: You know. 00:56:18 Speaker 3: There's some dogs that just love to destroy. 00:56:20 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there are cats, all sorts of pets at home that just destroy everything. And then you see some YouTuber with a raccoon that's like lang lying on spackating grapes or whatever. 00:56:30 Speaker 3: So they're just showing you the good part, Yeah, exactly, they're showing you it's like everything. They're showing you the beautiful, luxurious aspect of it that's very the dark, hideous backside where the raccoon is like switching their medications around like that. It's like, oh, no, I took the heart medicine today. What the fuck? Those things are devious. They tear out my garden like crazy they do. 00:56:59 Speaker 2: I come back here and that have been done. Are like a person's been back here, but here it isn't it like that. They'll pick up pots and just throw them on the ground. 00:57:06 Speaker 3: You know why why they're trying to get grubs? 00:57:09 Speaker 2: Oh, they're looking for little bugs. 00:57:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, they eat these little little grubs in there. I've never heard of that though. They actually break your pockets. 00:57:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll come back here up there, They'll just knocked off fasts. Yeah, they're like they'll find weird things in my yard. I'm like, certainly you have other things. 00:57:25 Speaker 3: To do back here. Yeah, but I'm so smart. 00:57:28 Speaker 2: I guess they're bored and need food. 00:57:30 Speaker 3: I guess they have a rotation. So I'm good friends, not good friends, but I talk to frequently. One of the people who works at this garden store I go to. He's a very very smart man, older man. He was saying how the raccoons tend to make like they have a two week circuit, a lot of them, So you think just when you think like, Okay, they're not coming back. They come back. Why it's happened to me so many times because every morning we'll wake up, they go in the kitchen, I look in the garden and see like have I been hit? Did they come by? Have I been ransacked? And it's always the night. I think like, okay, they're not going to come tonight, and I wake up it's like, oh my god. 00:58:12 Speaker 2: Wow, So are they just touring the city. 00:58:14 Speaker 3: Yeah, they have like loop they have. They're so smart. They have like a memory of things. They have are like a bus driver or something like that, a terrorizing bus driver of sorts. It's really hard to defend against them. 00:58:29 Speaker 2: Yeah, what is there anything you can do? 00:58:30 Speaker 3: You can put down like hardwork cloth or chicken wire over your soil to prevent them from digging. Or you can almost daily put out red and black pepper mixture, which they don't like. They don't like strong smells like garlic, red pepper, black pepper mixed with vinegar and stuff. It's the most work I gave up because I have a banana tree. I think it's actually squirrels and rats eating the leaves of that, and I don't like to hear rats. Oh yeah, but they're everywhere. You can't get rid of them. Don't like to hear that at all. I don't like it either, I really hate it. But they are. It's really hard to get rid of them. You have a banana tree, Yeah, I got bananas off at once. 00:59:06 Speaker 2: I mean, I guess that makes one time. 00:59:08 Speaker 3: One time. It's really hard. I don't know why it worked, but it did. I haven't gotten any sense. I think it's because the squirrels have been eating the leaves so much it hasn't been able to grow that well. 00:59:20 Speaker 2: How long does it take a banana to grow? 00:59:22 Speaker 3: They grow so fast. They're not technically trees. They're technically a plant, like a herbaceous plant. They don't wood out, you know. I mean like you can take a machete and chop through a whole banana slack with one stroke. Huh, it's not that hard. 00:59:36 Speaker 2: Do They get pretty tall? 00:59:37 Speaker 3: Don't get real tall. They'll get like maybe different varieties, but mine gets about fifteen feet tall maybe wow, maybe twelve feet tall, and it's just barren now. Yeah, right now. Bananas are weird because they so when a banana saw it grows, it puts off the fruit. You harvest the fruit. Once you harvest the fruits, there's a big, long, big sea pod that shoots out like an alien thing, and once that's harvested, it's called the mother. You're supposed to cut that down because that plan is done, and you chop it up and leave it in the ground for fertilizer. But other stalks will shoot up and the next tallest stock is will be the new mother, and that will should be the one that gives off bananas. So you're supposed to always only have one primary stock, even though the banana wants to shoot up in various places. So yeah, I think I messed up and maybe cut the new mother, and right now I have, like a I have two stalks, so it's sort of just ornamental at this point. Do you think you're able to fix it. I don't know. I was just out of town so much the last year that I wasn't able to attend to it like that. Because it needs a special fertilizer, it needs like extra water. I feel like it's so demanding. Yeah, they are. I mean, I don't know why it didn't fruit. I think it was just to stress so much stuff with these tropical plants. Is just about how the environment is so specific and right. You have to have the right amount of humidity, right amount of wind. 01:01:10 Speaker 2: Yeah, this does feel like a great weather for I mean a climate for a banana. 01:01:14 Speaker 3: But I got them. Baby, were they good bananas? They were excellent, they were They were very small. 01:01:20 Speaker 2: I love a small banana. Yeah, especially those like mini bananas. 01:01:23 Speaker 3: They were. Oh, they were so good. There's so and it tastes so much different than like your normal cavendish banana you buy the store. You know, there's only one type of banana. You buy one type. 01:01:34 Speaker 2: There's all stores only have one type of banana. 01:01:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a Cabindish variety. And now there's it's threatened to go away because of blight. Oh wow. Because all these growers like Dole was the main I mean they grow all pineapples and bananas, I think for the most part, like ninety percent or something. But they had this one variety of the cabin dish that they grow and now it's having problems. But they there's like three hundred varieties of bananas. 01:01:58 Speaker 2: So when these go away, just have to pick a new banana. 01:02:01 Speaker 3: Yes, but that's the problem is everything is geared towards the Cavendish, Like there's it's been propagated for so long that they they might be like a huge banana shortage at some point because of this blight that's going on. Wow, this is like a couple of years ago. I'm sure they've fixed it through massive amounts of chemicals and stuff. 01:02:18 Speaker 2: But have you had any other types of bananas? I'm curious what other bananas would even be like. 01:02:23 Speaker 3: I mean, there's a couple. There's a guy I know who's this amazing botanist. He lives in Texas. He has been in foxtron on Instagram. He goes a couple of different varieties of them, and I never tried his. But the ones I have I think are called ice cream. Oh, there's so many varieties. I mean, have you ever been to Hawaii? Yes? Did you have any bananas there? 01:02:44 Speaker 2: No, But I've had. I spent some time in Southeast Asia and I had bananas there. 01:02:49 Speaker 3: They a lot. You have tiny banana? Yeah, they taste different, right, much more fun to eat. Yeah. Some are more creamy, some are like a sweeter taste. I don't. I mean, I've I've probably had a few varieties, but this variety that I harvested. Definitely. It tasted like those small banas you have like in the tropics. 01:03:06 Speaker 2: I love those small bananas. And ultimately the ones you buy the sore too much banana. Yeah, halfway through them, like I don't this is too much and it's like gonna make me gag. Yeah, they're so they're too starchy, Yeah, way too starchy. Often too mushy, mushy, like a mush. 01:03:24 Speaker 3: I love a mush like it. 01:03:26 Speaker 2: Like a black banana. I mean that's the rotting on the counter. 01:03:30 Speaker 3: These bananas I harvested. I thought they were I thought they were bad, right, I was about to compost some and I cut them open and they were perfect. Oh so that's the thing is some of these weirder varieties when they when you think they are bad, is when they're perfectly ripe, right, I think as usually what happens is animals get to them. Like it's if you have a really good fruit, it's almost impossible to keep keep animals, like, oh my god, the peach. 01:03:55 Speaker 2: If you have stirrels, just eat all of our lemons and our oranges. 01:03:57 Speaker 3: If you have peaches, you're like, yeah, peach. I don't know a single person who has a stone fruit tree. They've got to enjoy more than like a few of them, shape, since these fuckers are just unstoppable. 01:04:10 Speaker 2: Yeah that our neighbor has a pomegranate tree that coaches over the fence here, and we might get one pomegranate here. 01:04:16 Speaker 3: The rest are half eaten by the time. Yeah, such a shit. You have to bag them up. Same with the figs. Figs are hard to get. I'm not a figure eater. Oh really, you know why? 01:04:26 Speaker 2: Mush it's a mush, it's a slime. 01:04:28 Speaker 3: I like them when it's like this is the grossest thing ever. I like them when it's like a sack. Oh, it's like a sack, and it's the best. It's so good. 01:04:38 Speaker 2: Then what about that it's good? 01:04:41 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. It's when it's one I'll get even worse for you. Here. I used to grow a lot of strawberries, and once in a while you get a strawberry that somehow the bugs have not touched it, It's been perfectly shaded whatever, and it literally starts to ferment inside the skin and you take aodbite of it. It sounds gross, right, but it has this effervescent quality to it. Because it started to ferment. It's a little bit boozy. Wow. So the flavor is I mean it's I think personally it's probably the best flavor that exists in the world. Is it? Is it fermented on the vine strawberry It's like it's a sack. It's it looks like you get gusher or something like that with booze. But that is Oh, that is good. 01:05:30 Speaker 2: But that feels like you can only get those by a mistake basically. 01:05:33 Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, I've tried sense so many times. I just can't. I can't replicate it. I even tried to make strawberry wine last year. It was bad. It was it was real bad. It was so bad. I was just I was sad about what was that process? I mean, it's the whole thing. You get the fruit, you wash it, you you mash it, and I added the yeasts and stuff. I thought I could recreate that, but it just didn't work. I think I needed to the problem is I use the wrong type of yeast. You think I need to do some type of a natural yeast like a lambique yeast or something like that. And how long did it have to ferment? Just I only did it like maybe a week or two. Okay, so it's basically jail wine. That's completely But the yeast is so important. I mean, I used to brew a lot, but I don't. I don't know. It's so much work. 01:06:19 Speaker 2: You have so many productive habits. 01:06:21 Speaker 3: I guess it's all just like I don't know, it's not it's more just uh doing something. So I don't do something bad, I guess. 01:06:31 Speaker 2: But you're someone that I feel like could safely retire. 01:06:34 Speaker 3: I would. 01:06:34 Speaker 2: I don't think I can retire until I can think of one hobby I can do. Really what would I possibly do? 01:06:40 Speaker 3: But I also feel like I would. I would lose my mind if I was retired. 01:06:43 Speaker 2: I don't think you would. Oh my god, I would be gardening. You'd be hiking. 01:06:48 Speaker 3: Yeah, But that stuff is all just in between. Like I like working so much that I like I did this movie in September in Florida, like a month and a half. It was the most work I've ever done in my entire life, and I was so happy because I felt just like utterly consumed by the process of it, because it was just every single day I had to do stuff. And after that, I felt like, you know what I would like to do. I would like to work three hundred days of the year. That'd be great, you know, it'd be like this industry workhorse, just get ground to dust. 01:07:28 Speaker 2: I mean, as someone who has been basically unemployed for a year and a half, I can kind of yeah, I wouldn't mind having an actual job. Yeah, there's something nice about having to think about that. 01:07:38 Speaker 3: But also I say. 01:07:39 Speaker 2: That, yes, the reality, I mean, there's there's no winning there, certainly no. 01:07:44 Speaker 3: I think the winner is when you have that thing where it's regular and you can really it's enough. When you're working, you're really working a lot. So when you aren't working, you feel like I can justify the inactivity. 01:07:58 Speaker 2: Right right, Well, I think we should play a game. Okay, we're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse Listener. We're taking a break from Gift Master for a minutes. Under construction. Okay, I need to number between one and ten from you seven. I have to do some like calculating right now to get our game pieces. Okay, So you can recommend something, promote something, do whatever you want. 01:08:18 Speaker 3: Come see me in New York in July twenty first, I think at the Soho Playhouse. Well, We'll be performing my one man show called Minnesota Reggae Colostomy Bag at the Soho Playhouse in July. Tickets are available on the Soho Playhouse website, or you can go to Johnny Pemberton dot dog. That is Johnny Pemberton dot dog and you can click the link and go through and get that. Take it because you got to get it because it's New York and we love theater. 01:08:52 Speaker 2: Great, excellent, cool. Everyone go see Johnny. I think you when I move here in twenty ten. You are probably the first live person I saw that made me laugh. Really yeah, I remember I was at what was the name of that thing? 01:09:08 Speaker 3: What's up? Tiger Lily? Okay, I remember all this. 01:09:11 Speaker 2: Person's so funny and that show was like four hours long, and so I was. 01:09:15 Speaker 3: I was a bruiser. 01:09:17 Speaker 2: Everyone go see Johnny. This is how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm going to name three things. You're gonna tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers. 01:09:29 Speaker 3: I like that. Okay. 01:09:31 Speaker 2: Number one this is from a listener named Emily Gift or a curse. Pilots calling airline passengers souls. 01:09:37 Speaker 3: I e. 01:09:38 Speaker 2: There are three hundred souls on board. 01:09:41 Speaker 3: That's a curse. Why because it's just like, it's too much on top of what we already have to deal with. It should only be said in retrospect when they are in fact souls. 01:09:56 Speaker 2: Uh, Johnny, you're wrong. 01:09:58 Speaker 3: Okay, it's a gift. 01:10:00 Speaker 2: It terrifies everyone on board. Suddenly we're all spooked. We're thinking about mortality. I'm looking at the person next to me, thinking about there's a spirit, a soul next to me. We're essentially just now on a haunted flight. I mean, this has never happened to me. It feels like the pilot is trying to scare the passengers. Maybe it's like a way to get people to behave. Yeah, it's like, if you don't behave, you will be a soul. 01:10:26 Speaker 3: I see the gift of this. 01:10:28 Speaker 2: I think it's a gift or I know that's the correct answer. Okay, so you've missed the first one, and that's too bad. Number two this is from a listener named Lauren. Gift or a curse Fresca. 01:10:40 Speaker 3: What's a gift? Why? Because it's one of the few grapefruit flavored drinkable items out there. It's commercial, commercially available grapefruit drinkables. 01:10:54 Speaker 2: Correct, Yes, I love Fresca has been this diet drink for hundreds of years. It's really been out there. It's grapefruit flavored. It reminds me of Vicky Smith, the neighbor, you know, drinking her fresca. And again, there aren't that many grapefruit flavored things. I love grapefruit. I recently learned that grapefruit interacts with my medication, but I'm not gonna stop drinking it. 01:11:20 Speaker 3: Oh, it is like the most interactive thing of all. 01:11:24 Speaker 2: What is happening with grapefruit? It's just another citrus? 01:11:26 Speaker 3: Doesn't that make? That makes me like grapefruit so much more? Because I'm like, you're so powerful that most people can't even eat you. 01:11:34 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a fascinating fruit. And the when I get a glass of grapefruit juice, there's nothing better. 01:11:42 Speaker 3: I think it is just so great that I got some non I got grapefruit like cocktail at a restaurant there day. I couldn't even take a sick. I took a sip to say, this isn't juice, This is like something that's been concocted. 01:11:58 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's an ad bastard'sation of a wonderful thing. 01:12:01 Speaker 3: But the real thing, especially if it's white grapefruit not really red. Oh I don't think I've had a white grapefruit. If you see grapefood's growing around La. The white grapefruit is the what is it the meat white, it's sort of like yellowish. So the grape is like yellow, and when you cut it open, it's the same color. It's yellow. It's like a sort of a pale and. 01:12:22 Speaker 2: The juice is almost like an orange juice. 01:12:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's more it's more bitter than a grapefrud. It's it's more traditional. If you ever have like a tiki cocktail, it's it's white grapefruit. You can't buy white grapefruit in the stores because it's not like I mean, maybe some stores, but I'm pretty sure nowadays you can't buy it. But luckily we live here and you don't have to. 01:12:43 Speaker 2: I would love to have a grapefruit tree. Yeah, I'd love to eat a grapefruit for breakfast. 01:12:48 Speaker 3: I never do. 01:12:49 Speaker 2: But right, what a feeling I mean, it does, I mean, it's. 01:12:51 Speaker 3: A huge hassle. It is a hassle. It would be the hardest thing to eat. I eat it over the sink, like a real rack. 01:12:59 Speaker 2: Eat it. Do you just buy into it? 01:13:00 Speaker 3: I cut it into sections like an orange, and I just eat it like I just, you know, masticate it like a That sounds incredible. 01:13:07 Speaker 2: Yeah, just just duth absolutely interacting with all of your medications, just putting your life on the line. 01:13:15 Speaker 3: Good. Buy a lipitour. 01:13:19 Speaker 2: Absolutely a gift. We love a fresco. It's so refreshing. I can't remember the last time I had one, but yeah, I can imagine cracking one open and enjoying it. 01:13:28 Speaker 3: You had a Paloma Paloma. It's the cocktail. No, I've never had one. It's the best cocktail. Really. What's in a Paloma Paloma is lime juice. Not just lime juice, but job matt, what do you call it when you grind something up muddled muddle mines, yes, yes, muddled grapefruit tequila and you can do a rim okay, and then you put squirt in there or I to do a little bit of squirt and a little bit of grapefruit juice and some sod water and you garnish it with a bunch of mint. Oh, wonderful. It's just the greatest strength. It's truly the greatest strength. 01:14:01 Speaker 1: Do you know. 01:14:02 Speaker 2: I think home State the restaurant has frozen pal and I've had a sample of it before they'll give you a sample. There's a strong, very strong, even like the little teeth drove away drunk. You know it was extremely dangerous drink. Okay, you've gotten one right so far. Finally, this is from a listener named Michael. Give your a curse rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. 01:14:29 Speaker 3: It's a curse. Why because it's it's a thing you have to do. It's a thing. 01:14:34 Speaker 2: It's like a step, it's another stack. 01:14:36 Speaker 3: I think dishes are a curse in general. Yes, that's why I'm eating over the sink. I'm not going to dirty dish. I just want to eat everything over the sink. I have a trough that can just rinse out with a hose or something like that. 01:14:49 Speaker 2: Or that's not a bad IDEA dinner table with two troughs just running down the parallel and everyone eats over this trough. 01:14:55 Speaker 3: A bunch of pigs that live down there, or like you know, some glady. 01:15:02 Speaker 2: That feels like a crawdad baked sort of thing. It's kind of messy. You throw plastic on the table. Newspaper, newspaper, right, it's the tradition, that's okay. I like to contribute to problems, so I'm putting plastic on everything. Just filling the ocean with junk. Rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher is a curse you. I mean, first of all, why do I even have the dishwasher? 01:15:28 Speaker 3: Yeah, blast that away for me. 01:15:31 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure someone probably tell me it's gonna break the dishwasher. But Jim, my boyfriend, and I often fight about this and I I've probably just made this up. But I think the dishwasher can tell if. I mean, I know that. 01:15:43 Speaker 3: I'm just saying that. 01:15:44 Speaker 2: ALLOWED just horrified that I even think this has some type of sensors, thinking like lasers shooting through the dishwasher to tell if there are crumbs on your plate. 01:15:54 Speaker 3: I mean, it's gonna do what. It doesn't matter what right it has it have a trap down there that you can just you can the trip down there, fish out the Yeah. 01:16:03 Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, if I begin rinsing the dishes, I might as well just wash them. 01:16:08 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like it's a slippery slope. It's literally a slippery. 01:16:14 Speaker 2: Wet and wild slope. Okay, we got two out of three. 01:16:18 Speaker 3: That's pretty good. I like that. Not bad? Was that sixty six percent? Sixty six? Six point six? 01:16:24 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's the kind of an endless sixes right, Yeah, probably not endless, but well it is right, Yeah, I don't think. I mean, once you get to that final little crumb, it's almost non existent. 01:16:36 Speaker 3: The Greeks just couldn't figure it out. 01:16:38 Speaker 2: They couldn't give us a better number system. Okay, time for the final segment of the podcast. This is called I said no emails people listeners who are desperate. Right into the podcast, they are begging for answers. Did I say the email? I said, no gifts at gmail dot com. We hope me answer a question. 01:17:00 Speaker 3: Love you. 01:17:00 Speaker 2: Okay, this says mister Weineger and guest. That's very formal, uncomfortable. Hello. I very much enjoy listening to your podcast and especially respect your wise advice. Okay, although my situation does not relate to gifts, I'm hoping you can still provide some assistance. Several years ago, I had a group of friends who would meet weekly at a bar for trivia. 01:17:21 Speaker 3: Nights and chit chat. 01:17:23 Speaker 2: Eventually, we became less interested in the trivia and more interested in catching up, so it made more sense to gather at someone's home instead of the trivia night. We have several paragraphs to go wow, Okay, maybe just too. I ended up as the usual host along with my roommate for these gatherings, as my apartment was the most central and best set up for a game night or hang. I am happy to share any snacks, drinks, anything else in my home with my friends, although after a significant period of time of hosting these weekly gatherings, there have been several weeks where my life has been too hectic for trips to the grocery store in order to have things on hand for my friends to enjoy. Although I almost always have some kind of fruit or granola bars on hand, that's not a great snack. One of my friends, who has attended nearly all of these gatherings, has started making jokes about my poor hosting abilities because I don't have a selection of snacks and drinks they are interested in having. Normally, I would brush this off as friendly teasing, but after she has made this joke a dozen times. I started to get a little bit irritated, seeing as she has never once offered to bring snacks or drinks after nearly two years of these events, or even offered to host. Additionally, anytime I suggested we meet at a restaurant for dinner instead, this same friend objects to the cost of eating out as opposed to the food and drinks at my home, which appear by magic. This person's furious. My question, thanks for bearing with me, You're welcome. Is my friend right that it's bad hosting not to have snacks on hand? Am I being dramatic to be bothered by this? Is my friend being a disrespectful guest? I look forward to your perspective, and that just says from a fan. They won't even put their name on. 01:19:08 Speaker 3: This email such you know it's going to get back to. 01:19:10 Speaker 2: Yes, this friend is going to be furious. 01:19:14 Speaker 3: I think that's disrespectful. You think that's disrespectful the dispectful guest? Yes, I mean from my perspective, but they didn't say I said no snacks, so if it was that right to right? 01:19:29 Speaker 2: I mean, from what I'm seeing here, this host is a horrible host. They keep luring people into their trap and refusing to go to the grocery store, making up excuses. Yeah, granola bars. They're just rummaging through the cupboard, so I've got some granola bars. Well, they're able to continue buying granola bars. Why are they able to buy some chips. 01:19:50 Speaker 3: I think that it's good. I think it's a two way street where if you're a good host, it makes people want to be a good guest. But I think some people don't know that you cannot show up empty hand into someone's house. This person is bringing nothing. You have to always bring at least something. 01:20:04 Speaker 2: But what if this person is obviously in need? 01:20:07 Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, is putting down someone in need? Are they? Though? I think it might just be a cheap skate. It might just be a cheapy because I think that a lot of times if you host, if you host enough, you end up getting too much stuff because people bring stuff. You're in fact these covers, beers and stuff. People bring things. I think the problem with this this event has become too informal. 01:20:29 Speaker 2: Oh interesting because. 01:20:31 Speaker 3: Recent that this person, this guest, has taking it for granted. 01:20:36 Speaker 2: So that maybe you send out like a paper invitation to the next event. The host is obviously addicted to hosting, and it's it's causing problems. They're not able to host an actual event because all they care about is the hosting itself. And they're not going to the grocery store. Sad, And now they're blaming their friends. I mean, obviously all of their friends are off. Well if they're not bringing anything, they're singling out this one person, but what about the rest of the group bring something. This fan whatever their name is, needs to call out all of them in their next email. 01:21:13 Speaker 3: Also seems like a personal thing that's going on between these two individuals. 01:21:16 Speaker 2: Right, maybe maybe there's a bigger problem. 01:21:19 Speaker 3: Yeah, like they needed to talk. They didn't have a I had to have. They didn't have a can sell you. 01:21:24 Speaker 2: For a second at the next event. Yeah, because you're in the kitchen for just one for a. 01:21:29 Speaker 3: Second, and then the camera person goes with them. 01:21:33 Speaker 2: And then you hear some very loud whispering, right, just hissing it. Okay, well, stop posting parties, cut this person out of your life, obviously, go to the grocery store. Who knows what this person's even eating at home? Yeah, maybe they're just hungry, and it's affecting everything in their life. 01:21:51 Speaker 3: It's too complicated. There's a lot of personal issues that came through there that I feel. 01:21:55 Speaker 2: Like, you know, they're kind of dumping on us. Yeah, they're so busy, yet they have time to get online and type out a seventy five page email. That's always kind of the thing. It's like, your life is so bad, listener, you have an email address and an internet connection and all the time in the world. Solve your own problems. 01:22:15 Speaker 3: Figure it out. 01:22:15 Speaker 2: Figure it out. Don't write back in again, fan, figure it out. 01:22:20 Speaker 3: Speak to this person. Speak to it. 01:22:23 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe the relationship will deepen, and maybe the listener will bring something next time, and then you can complain about that, throw in their face. Yeah, there we go, set them up. 01:22:33 Speaker 3: I always think of that episode of Northern Exposure where Mandy Patinkin complained about the dinner party the Joel hosted. 01:22:40 Speaker 2: What happens? 01:22:41 Speaker 3: He just says something like, you could have at least clarified the butter. 01:22:47 Speaker 2: That's a very Mandy line. 01:22:49 Speaker 3: Yeah. The fact that it stuck in my head all these years is insane, Like it's absolute madness that I remember that. 01:22:56 Speaker 2: If Mandy came into my home and complained about what I made lipped the table. 01:23:01 Speaker 3: Also, his name is Mandy Patinka, Like, how do you get that name that? 01:23:06 Speaker 2: It's the name of a wonderful elf. 01:23:08 Speaker 3: It's hi and Manny Patinka. I'm reading for the role of Jim Stevens and I am five ten and look at it in New York City. 01:23:19 Speaker 2: Is Mandy short for something? 01:23:21 Speaker 3: I don't know? 01:23:22 Speaker 2: It's gotta be Mandel. Oh, okay, that makes sense, Mandel, Mandel Mandy. 01:23:29 Speaker 3: But also I don't know anyone named Mandel. I don't never named Mandel or Mandy last name, but not a first name, right, Mandel Mandal. 01:23:37 Speaker 2: His parents were doing something there and then they weren't even happy with it, and they started calling him Mandy. Well, Mandy, we love you, we do. Don't complain at my dinner party. We answered the question perfectly. Did I now have my hand truck which is going to, you know, be with me probably for the rest of my life? 01:23:56 Speaker 3: That thing, It's crazy how how long that thing will last? 01:24:00 Speaker 2: Right? I feel like this is a like you buy one and that's it. 01:24:03 Speaker 3: I thought it was going to break forever ago, but it still persists, and I abuse that thing. 01:24:08 Speaker 2: I really do to get something helpful on this podcast. I mean, one in a million, this is maybe one of four things I've gotten on this or I'm like, that will improve my life. 01:24:18 Speaker 3: Nice. I wasn't sure you know something. You might have no use for it whatsoever. But it's still in its original packaging. 01:24:24 Speaker 2: I mean, it's a brand new hand truck. Who could ask for more? And you don't know you need a hand truck until you do. Yeah, and then you're not going to go buy one, and so you're trying to lift it by yourself, freaking out. 01:24:36 Speaker 3: And you can stow it. You can stow it. 01:24:38 Speaker 2: Look how it folds up. I can take this on a plane. 01:24:41 Speaker 3: You could take it on a plane if you had to travel with your wares. 01:24:45 Speaker 2: Just kind of fold my clothes and set them on top of it and drag it through the air. 01:24:49 Speaker 3: I'm kind of cool. 01:24:49 Speaker 2: Actually that's not a bad idea. Yeah, I mean it's a horrible idea. But Johnny, thank you so much for being. 01:24:56 Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. It was wonderful to be such. 01:24:58 Speaker 2: A wonderful time to have you looking up my plants. 01:25:00 Speaker 1: In this Uh. 01:25:01 Speaker 3: I think this is more of a hotel. 01:25:03 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we should settle on this. 01:25:05 Speaker 3: This is a hotel patio. 01:25:08 Speaker 2: Ultimately, this is glamping. It is I think we've been glamping. 01:25:11 Speaker 3: It is listener. 01:25:12 Speaker 2: The podcast is over. It's just absolutely over, and you have to do something else. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Analise Nilson, and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no gifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? 01:25:53 Speaker 1: Ivy did you hear? Funa man myself perfectly clear. But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests, you're a presences presents enough I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me