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Speaker 1: My girlfriend embarrassed me in front of my boys by

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Speaker 1: not helping our sinking boat.

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Speaker 2: Should I end it? Yo?

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Speaker 3: If the boats sunk, the relationship is also good to sink.

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Speaker 2: This first mate is no longer a mate.

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Speaker 3: No, it ain't.

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Speaker 2: No, it ain't.

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Speaker 1: So I have what I think is a very good

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Speaker 1: sense of situational awareness.

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Speaker 3: Oh a redditor with situational awareness? Who whoa how rare? Hey.

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Speaker 1: I'm a quick thinker and I tend not to panic

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Speaker 1: in dangerous situations. My fiance, on the other hand, is

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Speaker 1: the exact opposite. If I'm being nice, I would say

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Speaker 1: she doesn't have any awareness of danger.

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Speaker 3: My fiance is a dumbs If I'm really winning, plants there,

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Speaker 3: this is gonna be a great marriage.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but sam oh, If I'm being honest, I would

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Speaker 1: say that she has the survival instinct of a panda

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Speaker 1: raised in captivity.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Wow, he's offering a baby lotion.

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Speaker 3: W he thinks so much of this fiance.

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Speaker 2: You know, this is gonna be a beautiful marriage. I

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Speaker 2: can't wait.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you know, who do I want taking care of my

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Speaker 3: children in the future. This soft pandamage.

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Speaker 2: Yes, oh man.

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Speaker 1: Also, I love how a panda racing captivity is like

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Speaker 1: go to for It's great go to.

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Speaker 3: Greg paints an image she had.

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Speaker 1: No sense of danger around her, doesn't constantly examine her

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Speaker 1: surroundings for.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I could be constantly examine your surroundings for threats.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't walk in a room and do a full

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Speaker 1: inspection and yell clear before she enters.

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Speaker 2: I mean, how is she going to survive?

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Speaker 3: Not? Not well? Not well? Maybe op is like living

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Speaker 3: in the forest, but not not wherever the pandas are

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Speaker 3: in a more dangerous for us. You know.

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Speaker 1: Listen, a sniper could take their heads out at any second.

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Speaker 1: Anything could happen. He brings his X ray goggles with him,

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Speaker 1: but she doesn't bring.

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Speaker 3: A bulletproof best. I mean, I mean, if you're living

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Speaker 3: in America, maybe an America next to a school, hey,

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Speaker 3: then might they might They might need some situational awareness.

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Speaker 2: That apparently this guy has.

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Speaker 1: And when things go bad, her reaction is to panic

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Speaker 1: and scream like a woosie come on, grow up.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: So on Friday, we went out on the boat of

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Speaker 1: a friend of mine and we got into a dangerous situation.

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Speaker 1: We were anticipating light rain, but we ended up with

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Speaker 1: a downpour, high winds, and highways.

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Speaker 3: Oh not a good situation. Not so great being on

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Speaker 3: that boat.

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Speaker 1: While me and the other men there were man we

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Speaker 1: know how to tie, not some steer a ship. We

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Speaker 1: were trying to strap things down and keep the boat

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Speaker 1: from capsizing. But my fiance screamed and cried for dear life.

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Speaker 1: She was in hysterics.

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Speaker 2: Geez hat me hairt me.

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Speaker 3: And I'm just imagining all the the guys come on,

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Speaker 3: panda yether, here's some bampoo.

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Speaker 2: And look.

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Speaker 1: I get it was a scary situation, but her yelling

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Speaker 1: and screaming we're all gonna die and for God to

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Speaker 1: save us, and literally crying and saying it's my fault

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Speaker 1: that she's on a boat since I asked her to

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Speaker 1: come with.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's like.

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Speaker 3: That's a little much, that's a little bout of the

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Speaker 3: fiance's side. I'm beginning to see the panda.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. None of the other girlfriends or

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Speaker 1: wives were doing this, just her. Oh no, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: the other women there were just as scared, but tried

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Speaker 1: to keep it in for the sake of the men

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Speaker 1: doing something about it.

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Speaker 2: He literally wrote that, oh man, my boy, old.

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Speaker 3: School, old school. In other words, a misogynistic well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, get these pains out of here, get them below deck. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: not bamboo.

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Speaker 1: The downpour was really bad for about fifteen minutes, so

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes of whaling while we were doing everything we

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Speaker 1: could to keep things all right. We made it back

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Speaker 1: safe with little more damage than a few spilled white class.

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Speaker 3: Excuse me, sir, That is precious cargo. Precious, that is okay,

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Speaker 3: the primo boot that you could have on a ship.

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Speaker 1: Oh goodness, Oh god, yeah, that is booty boot. That's

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Speaker 1: a little, nice, little double entendre.

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Speaker 3: I got you now.

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Speaker 1: On the car ride home, I told my fiance that

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Speaker 1: we needed to talk about how she was behaving during the.

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Speaker 3: Crisis like a freaking banda.

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Speaker 1: You need to act like a man, do not ad.

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Speaker 1: Not only was it incredibly embarrassing in front of my boys.

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Speaker 3: Boys, how could you embarrass me? For the boys, we

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Speaker 3: would just smashing back white clause.

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Speaker 1: Come on, we were just crushing white claws, strapping down

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Speaker 1: like fucking men.

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Speaker 3: And you gotta go be on crying crying, tears, tears

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Speaker 3: and just emotions.

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Speaker 1: But Sam, not only was it incredibly embarrassing in front

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Speaker 1: of the boys. But it was distracting, unhelpful and telling,

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Speaker 1: telling of what telling that you're.

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Speaker 2: A little wimp, pass panda ye.

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Speaker 1: I told her that today proved to me that if

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Speaker 1: I was in a life for death situation, I could

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Speaker 1: not rely on her to be any help or do

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Speaker 1: anything except makes things more stressful.

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Speaker 3: I love how Op's constantly thinking life and death.

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Speaker 2: This is too much, bro.

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Speaker 3: Something though, that I think is true is often like

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Speaker 3: when someone is freaking out, the like their partner will

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Speaker 3: like kind of take the reins. Yeah, no, for sure,

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Speaker 3: Yeah for sure. If you can't have two people freaking

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Speaker 3: out once. This is true. So maybe if Op wasn't

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Speaker 3: such a man and just be like, well, I f

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Speaker 3: helped me, maybe she would have. Yeah that's right, muscled up.

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Speaker 3: Let your wife step up, be a little spill. Yeah

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Speaker 3: you know what, you'd done nothing herself. Didn't just sit

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Speaker 3: there like the ship's just going. Yeah you got this, babe, right.

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Speaker 2: You got this. I believe in you. She got unbelievably mad.

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Speaker 1: She said that she thought she was going to die

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Speaker 1: and had reason to freak out. I told her that

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Speaker 1: all of us were scared, but none of us were

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Speaker 1: as ridiculous as she was. We argued the entire ride home,

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Speaker 1: and she is still pissed off at me. I think

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Speaker 1: I was right to say this, especially as we're planning

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Speaker 1: our lives together and raising a family, and I can't

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Speaker 1: be the only level headed one. So am I the

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Speaker 1: a hole? So there's a little bit of an edit.

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Speaker 1: But uh, Sam, everyone gut check. How is how's Amanda

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Speaker 1: making you feel?

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Speaker 3: Okay? This might be an unpopular take. I do think that, like,

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Speaker 3: if you're in a situation that is stressful, Yeah, how

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Speaker 3: your partner reacts is a good indicator of like how

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Speaker 3: they're going to deal with stressful things in the future,

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Speaker 3: because like a marriage is hard. If you can't deal

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Speaker 3: with like stressful situations, then how are you gonna be

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Speaker 3: able to deal with the hard things to come up

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Speaker 3: within a marriage? Yeah, So I think op stake maybe

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Speaker 3: taking a little overboard.

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Speaker 1: Why.

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Speaker 3: I do get where he's coming from, where he's like, hey,

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Speaker 3: like this is going to be you know, my wife,

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Speaker 3: future mother of my children. If she can't handle the

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Speaker 3: tough stuff, like, is she going to be able to

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Speaker 3: handle the tough stuff that comes in her marriage?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: She did have a bit of of like when she

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Speaker 1: said I would I wouldn't be dying if it wasn't

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Speaker 1: for you or whatever she said. I mean, yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was like a little bit, a little bit. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, people freak out and get scared and whatnot.

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Speaker 3: But I think like when someone freaks out that that's

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Speaker 3: like I feel like it's it's it's uh, you don't

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Speaker 3: determine your character in the good moments in it and

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Speaker 3: how you react in the bad moments.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of feel like I don't know that

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Speaker 1: it's like a like a like a deal breaker or

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Speaker 1: like that kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: But I definitely think that it's information.

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Speaker 1: It's information, and like I feel like I would want

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Speaker 1: to have someone who would, like, I don't know, I guess,

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Speaker 1: in a very dangerous scenario, I don't know, try to

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Speaker 1: I don't know, do something or else. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I think it's worth bringing

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Speaker 3: up and say like, hey, like if this happens, if

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Speaker 3: something scary happens against I want you to be I

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Speaker 3: want you to be there helping me rather than screaming.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So edit, oh my f and god, the women there

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Speaker 1: did not help because they did not know how to help.

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Speaker 1: The men there have been out together on the boat

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Speaker 1: countless times before, so we all are experienced and know

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Speaker 1: exactly what to do. It's so much more unsafe for

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Speaker 1: them to be in our way attempting to help if

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Speaker 1: they really don't know what they're doing. It's safer for

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Speaker 1: everyone if they just hang on, keep calm until the

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Speaker 1: issue is resolved. This has nothing to do with them

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Speaker 1: being women and has everything with them not knowing what

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Speaker 1: to do. If another guy had been there and know

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Speaker 1: what to do, I'd tell him to sit his tight

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Speaker 1: little booty down and let those of us who know

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Speaker 1: what to do handle it.

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Speaker 3: I get what he's saying there. Yeah, I think he

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Speaker 3: went a little overboard. I think this is just information,

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Speaker 3: not a deal blake breaker. And if you're ever in

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Speaker 3: a situation where you're like freaking out, you should just

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Speaker 3: either try to remain calm so you're not distracting, or

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Speaker 3: try to help if you can.

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Speaker 2: Was it you that told me this that?

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Speaker 1: It's like, like, is it the Navy or something they

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Speaker 1: like the code is to always speak in a calm

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Speaker 1: voice no matter what. Just because I don't think it

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Speaker 1: was men, butl yeah, it's it's you know, we need

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Speaker 1: some Navy seal training in here for a relationship. That's right,

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Speaker 1: But let's we think put in the comments and season.

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Speaker 1: Mom said she'd handle the cake. Well, guess what, Mom,

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Speaker 1: I'll handle do OKAYOPI mom.

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Speaker 3: Handler over here.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 3: That's what I call my friend Lemchi when he goes

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Speaker 3: out to the club and picks up mils.

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Speaker 2: There we go, Cougartown, USA.

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Speaker 3: Population that guy, that guy picks up these ladies in

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Speaker 3: his Stingray. He's like this nineteen sixty seven Stingray. It's

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Speaker 3: like a super old nice car.

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Speaker 2: That sounds super sick.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know smoke cigars, what car that is,

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Speaker 1: but it's just old and milk. That's like, uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: the seventies you were you were bagging checks even today

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Speaker 1: even today, bag.

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Speaker 3: And checks with that, you know, like a serial killer

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Speaker 3: like that, taking them into the refrigerator, refrigerator.

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Speaker 2: That's that's the move.

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Speaker 3: That's the move go to when you want to be cool. Anyways,

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Speaker 3: just getting not cellial killers. We're not seriously serial killers. No,

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Speaker 3: it is a part time gig. Yep, all right, the

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Speaker 3: joke is over. Long story shore. I was told to

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Speaker 3: bring cake to my mother's place for yesterday. It's like

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Speaker 3: it's like a it's a you know, like a euphanism,

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Speaker 3: like bring that cake for Mother's Day.

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Speaker 1: Maybe bring that booty. It could be that cake. Probably not,

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Speaker 1: but it's anything's possible. Mom, she said she would handle dinner.

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Speaker 1: Quote unquote, Okay, I arrived to find the kitchen table

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Speaker 1: overflowing with groceries and her expecting me to spend the

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Speaker 1: entire day cooking a proper Italian American feast for the

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Speaker 1: whole family. I'm talking at least a dozen people over here.

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Speaker 2: Dude.

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Speaker 3: That sounds like it takes hours and hours and hours.

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Speaker 3: I mean like a whole day, honestly, a whole day

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Speaker 3: of cooking.

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Speaker 2: It's like a like a Christmas meal.

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Speaker 3: All right, all right, I just like to say, John

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Speaker 3: gave me a recipe for something to cook, and he's like, oh, bro,

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Speaker 3: like you'll be able to whip this up in like

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Speaker 3: thirty minutes. I literally did nothing but cook. I made

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Speaker 3: hummus and I made that thing. Yeah, and it took

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Speaker 3: me all day, really, yeah, all day all show. I

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Speaker 3: got a very good cook.

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Speaker 2: Cook it with me next time. Yeah. Well, now I

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Speaker 2: kind of have it all memorized, so.

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Speaker 3: I can like just yeah, I'll get there. I'll get there.

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Speaker 3: But like I was like, it was like, how do

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Speaker 3: you chop stuff?

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Speaker 1: And you put you got all the extra ingredients probably

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Speaker 1: or some of the extra ingredients maybe.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so there you see. I do not go with

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Speaker 2: the extra min ladies and gentlemen. That is the key.

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Speaker 3: It tastes great though, it tastes good. It tast a

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Speaker 3: lot of cayam peppers that made a little spicy, nice

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Speaker 3: Christians like mouth was on fire. I gave him some.

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Speaker 2: That's a good move.

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Speaker 1: So my mom gave me no warning for all this cooking.

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Speaker 1: Was never asked to do it, never even got a

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Speaker 1: hint about it.

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Speaker 3: It's ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: I was just expected to happily roll up my sleeves

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Speaker 1: and get to a cooking for four plus hours while

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Speaker 1: everyone else lounge around and enjoy themselves. You got you

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Speaker 1: got a whole crew here and no one's pitching in Like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I like I imagine that's probably what like

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Speaker 3: like the you know, like, uh, the traditional Italian way

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Speaker 3: is right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like all right, woman, either either mom or

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Speaker 1: like somebody stay in the kitchen and you'll stay in

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Speaker 1: there until it's all done. And then we'll prisoned. We'll

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Speaker 1: finish watching Seinfeld or whatever I.

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Speaker 3: See, like like like that, I do not think that

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Speaker 3: is the right way to be clear, uh, but uh,

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Speaker 3: well definitely. So my mom is an amazing cook and

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Speaker 3: cooks for for like our family gatherings, and like instead

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Speaker 3: of being quarantined in the kitchen, like everyone surrounds the

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Speaker 3: kitchen and like helps a little bit. Like my mom's

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Speaker 3: definitely running the show because like she's she's a strict

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Speaker 3: captain with the kitchen, believe it. But uh, everyone's like

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Speaker 3: talking with each other and joking around while like we're

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Speaker 3: helping out a little bit, and like we're sitting around.

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Speaker 3: There's like an island in the middle of the kitchen

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Speaker 3: and we're sitting around there. So I feel like that's

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Speaker 3: how it should be done. Like move the conversation to

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Speaker 3: the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly perfect. Everyone's chilling, everyone's hanging and participating.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Good model, good model. So guess guess what op did Sam?

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Speaker 2: What they left?

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Speaker 3: They left?

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Speaker 2: They left on Mother's Day? See you later her family. Wow.

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Speaker 2: And it took the cake with me, damn with me?

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Speaker 1: Okay, savage, and we got we got some quick updates

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Speaker 1: So update number one, A few of you wanted to

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Speaker 1: know the cake. It's the Black Magic Cake aka Nana's

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Speaker 1: Chocolate Cake from the old recipe subreddit. So good o mfg,

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Speaker 1: I'm actually kind of want to try that now.

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Speaker 3: I'm hunger for the cake.

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Speaker 2: I'm sore right now. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Same update number two, Electric Bungaloo. The fallout phone calls

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Speaker 1: from my mother and brother. As I drove home. She

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Speaker 1: put on the weary her act, expressing how disappointed she

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Speaker 1: was and having such a selfish and lazy daughter, you

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Speaker 1: know the usual. I just agreed with her, yep, I

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Speaker 1: sure am selfish and lazy.

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Speaker 2: You should have raised me better. And then I hung up.

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Speaker 3: Damn.

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Speaker 1: Brother was outrage that I made a scene and embarrassed

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Speaker 1: them because they had to order a bunch of mediocre

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Speaker 1: pizza and stale conoli from the only place open.

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Speaker 2: On accept the.

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Speaker 3: Bow moving pizza boxes. Albay uh.

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Speaker 2: I'm more in a bunch than a meat the ball.

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Speaker 2: I'm more crimped than than an edge of a rabbioli.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I tried right, I lolled it their misfortune, but

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Speaker 1: he hung up on me. I hadn't wanted to speak

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Speaker 1: to either of them. Anyway, so I considered that a

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Speaker 1: double wind, good Grady. This is a dysfunctional family