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Speaker 1: One eight hundred d uy away now offering free remote

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Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.

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Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote

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Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred douy

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Speaker 1: away dot com or call.

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Speaker 2: Eight hundred do you y away Today? We call a

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Speaker 2: woman who, like many of us, loves the wholesale superstore Costco.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he does, bring me there now.

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Speaker 2: And recently she let her friend borrow her membership card

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Speaker 2: to get in. Now they didn't get caught, luckily, but

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Speaker 2: they're about to because her friend asked us if we

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Speaker 2: could do a prank on her. So she's about to

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Speaker 2: feel the wrath of Costco Corporate in your brand new phone.

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Speaker 2: Tap right now, it's another tap on the twenties.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Hi, this is Shauna from Costco Membership Services. Is

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Speaker 3: this Maria Ven?

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Speaker 4: Yes? How can I help you?

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Speaker 3: Well, fortunately, it's my job to inform you that we

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Speaker 3: are suspending your Costco membership indefinitely.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry, suspending it and definitely why what?

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Speaker 3: It's been deactivated and it's not going to be permissible

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Speaker 3: at any of our locations. Okay, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 4: I am so confused right now. Why can you tell

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Speaker 4: me why this is happening? What's going on?

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Speaker 3: I think you know, Maria.

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Speaker 4: No, actually I really, I honestly don't know what I did.

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Speaker 3: It's come to our attention that you've allowed another customer

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Speaker 3: to borrow your sacred Costco membership card.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm well no, I mean, okay, it's.

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Speaker 3: Our decide, isn't it. When someone catches you on things

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Speaker 3: like that? You said yes, then no, then maybe?

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Speaker 4: Well yeah, I mean okay, so I did, like just

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Speaker 4: once though I didn't think that that was right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, I gotta say Costco does appreciate acts

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Speaker 3: of sharing and community. However, we must remind you that

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Speaker 3: Costco membership cards are like precious gemstones, only meant for

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Speaker 3: the eyes of the card holder.

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Speaker 4: Okay, but I feel like like an indefinite sussension is

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Speaker 4: like a little drastic that you.

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Speaker 3: Think at this point, if you want to continue to

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Speaker 3: use our services, you'll need to report to Costco Court.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry, Costco Court. That's that's not even a real thing.

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Speaker 3: Oh, it's very real. Every Costco store has one a

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Speaker 3: court room. It's behind the pharmacy. What where justice is

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Speaker 3: served in bulk.

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Speaker 4: You can't know that can be real.

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Speaker 3: That's our catchphrase.

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Speaker 4: I've never I was never informed about this Costco court.

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Speaker 4: I was never.

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Speaker 3: Actually, yes, you were. It was in the fine print

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Speaker 3: when you signed up.

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Speaker 4: What are you talking about?

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Speaker 3: It's part of our Costco commandments.

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Speaker 4: I just can't believe that you're telling me that I

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Speaker 4: have to go to Costo court just because I let

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Speaker 4: my let somebody use my membership one time. Like that

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Speaker 4: just doesn't seem fair to me.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I can understand that, you know, but I

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Speaker 3: promise Judge Kirklin is very fair when it comes to

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Speaker 3: Costco convicts.

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Speaker 4: That's kirklind. Is that supposed to be like cute and

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Speaker 4: signing or something.

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Speaker 3: Cross your fingers. He's in a good mood the day

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Speaker 3: you come in. This week he gave a college student

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Speaker 3: an eighteen month sample band.

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Speaker 4: Now did you imagine I can't do that? Like, how

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Speaker 4: do you even enforce something like that? Do you guys

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Speaker 4: have like Costco police or something.

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Speaker 3: Maria, We're Costco. We sell full chickens for under five dollars.

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Speaker 3: We can do anything.

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Speaker 4: It sounds like it, clearly, But I'm not going to

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Speaker 4: Costco court like, I.

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Speaker 3: Well, you better show up because if you don't, you're

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Speaker 3: gonna get stuck with Costco community service.

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Speaker 4: What what exactly is Costco community service? To begin with?

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Speaker 3: You get parking lot duty for three weeks and have

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Speaker 3: to bring all the shopping carts back.

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Speaker 4: So all of those people in your parking lot are

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Speaker 4: doing Costco community service and they're not your employees.

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Speaker 3: I'd ask you not to judge them just because of

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Speaker 3: their prior convictions. Okay, they're committed to Costco. This is

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Speaker 3: they working their way back into the system.

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Speaker 4: Is there any way that I can get off with

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Speaker 4: like a warning or something like? Clearly, this is my

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Speaker 4: first time breaking any Costco commandment.

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Speaker 3: I don't know that you want that. A Costco warning

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Speaker 3: would include no toilet paper or wipes for six months.

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Speaker 4: That's literally why I go to Costco. That's where I

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Speaker 4: get all my toilet paper from. Like, why would you

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Speaker 4: take away the one thing that I get old?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I could have the radio station deliver you

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Speaker 3: some of theirs, you know from Brook and Jeffrey in

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Speaker 3: the morning. What it's only one ply though?

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Speaker 4: Wait, Russ, why are you throwing a radio station into

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Speaker 4: the mix of all this? Like what do they have

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Speaker 4: to do with anything the Costco. I don't understand.

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Speaker 3: Well, they love Costco. I'll tell you that, and I'll

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Speaker 3: also tell you that this is Brooke from Brook and

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Speaker 3: Jeffrey in the Morning and this is actually a brank

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Speaker 3: phone call.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, what.

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Speaker 3: It's all a joke.

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Speaker 4: Thank god, I was freaking out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, your Fred Candace said apparently you love Costco too.

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Speaker 3: I do. And we heard you let her borrow your

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Speaker 3: card a couple of times.

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Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, I have Maria.

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Speaker 3: I won't even let my husband use my card. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I gotta get banned from that place.

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Speaker 4: I'll have to keep that in mind, because this was

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Speaker 4: a good awakening for me to never let I have

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Speaker 4: no card ever again.

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Speaker 3: You're really wondering if people are waiting outside the pharmacy

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Speaker 3: for prescriptions for hearing.

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Speaker 4: Wake up.

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Speaker 3: Every morning was phe Tap weekday mornings on the twenties.

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Speaker 3: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning