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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.

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Speaker 1: Never told you a protection if I heard you.

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Speaker 2: And today's episode is based on my current life status.

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Speaker 2: Any things are not wonderful here in Sandland. Just to

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Speaker 2: be real, honest, your girl is on arthritis meds. I'm

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Speaker 2: as due to some type of contact related infection. Y'all

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Speaker 2: have been able to wear my contacts and my glasses

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Speaker 2: are odd and everything's a little blurry and a little

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Speaker 2: too intensive. Evering's fine, And yes, I have isolated myself

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Speaker 2: for a few weeks now. My partner has been gone

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Speaker 2: doing family emergency things, so I am really alone, and

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Speaker 2: my physical and social outlet is a temper is temporarily

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Speaker 2: on the hiatus because other people want to go on vacation. JK,

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Speaker 2: I'm proud of them. You do you go on that

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Speaker 2: vacation anyway, So it feels a bit bleak over here.

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Speaker 2: And again, sam Land this, I know this is starting

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Speaker 2: to sound like a btin wine, but it isn't. I'm

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Speaker 2: promised I'm going somewhere with this actual episode. You know,

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Speaker 2: how we do we get some things at a little

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Speaker 2: more research. This is not as heavily researched as a

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Speaker 2: typical episode because we are still reeling from the dragon

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Speaker 2: con Birthday, holidays, holidays, and then more chaos as it goes.

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Speaker 2: But I thought I would talk about what I just

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Speaker 2: went down, this little rabbit hole of how women may

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Speaker 2: handle stress and then also self soothing and comfort habits.

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Speaker 2: Now I am bringing in this term self soothing and

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Speaker 2: comfort habits, I'm going to enterchange those words and terms,

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Speaker 2: and I'm not necessarily being completely scientific when I'm talking

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Speaker 2: about these things. And we are more talking about the

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Speaker 2: habits or rituals as opposed to like stemming or fidget

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Speaker 2: tools and all of that. So we're not going into

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Speaker 2: that route, which I think we should come back and

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Speaker 2: talk about, because I did have an interesting video pop

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Speaker 2: up in a woman talking about I think like she's

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Speaker 2: celebrating her one hundred and fifty days of not self harming,

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Speaker 2: and then also about stemming and about that little cause

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Speaker 2: of pain, whether it's like flicking with a rubber band

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Speaker 2: or like the stemming is like has pokey things that

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Speaker 2: you can actually squeeze to get a little bit of

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Speaker 2: that sensation. I do want to come back to that

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Speaker 2: because I do find that phenomenon something that we should

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Speaker 2: talk about especially at the time of stress and kind

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Speaker 2: of self soothing as it is related to therapy, the

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Speaker 2: both negative and positive. But we're not necessarily talking about that.

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Speaker 2: We're going to get a little bit into that, as

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Speaker 2: in like research into that, but not those techniques or

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Speaker 2: ideals because also it's becoming a marketing thing and I

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Speaker 2: feel like, again we should talk about it, but this

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Speaker 2: is not that episode. We're going to talk more about

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Speaker 2: like habits such as waited blankets, or habits about watching

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Speaker 2: movies or me isolating myself and watching right it too

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Speaker 2: for the fifteen hundred times, or now Kate Pop Demon

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Speaker 2: Hunter for the one hundredth time. That's become my name thing.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, so with that, I thought we would talk

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Speaker 2: a little bit about that. And I know again we

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Speaker 2: talked about this before rewatching the same shows, eating the

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Speaker 2: Food from Childhood, et cetera. But I was also thinking

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Speaker 2: about the desire to dig into something, whether it's a

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Speaker 2: new hobby of you know, punch datelying. By the way,

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Speaker 2: I'm getting back to that because the holidays are coming

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Speaker 2: and some people are gonna give some homemade things. I

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Speaker 2: feel like Katie rejected my coaster and I'm a little

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Speaker 2: hurt by this. I'm just kidding. She didn't y'all, but

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Speaker 2: I did leave that out and she left it behind,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, okay, I'm gona hold on

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Speaker 2: to this, but that is coming back Annie, because you

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Speaker 2: know who doesn't love homemade coasters that kind of resemble something.

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Speaker 2: And then even the nostalgic revisits of childhood class, which

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Speaker 2: we did last month, and I still think about a

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Speaker 2: lot of those because I started to see videos about

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Speaker 2: still Magnolia's It was like, oh, yeah, and you've never

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Speaker 2: seen this, right, No, wid I find interesting. But anyway,

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Speaker 2: moving in fact again, So we just had an episode yesterday,

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Speaker 2: but we're recording it in the same day about all

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Speaker 2: the things that you saw at Dragon Cot in your

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Speaker 2: experience and the things I saw again. I saw many

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Speaker 2: like throwbacks, whether it was Ghostbusters, lots of Ghostbusters. I

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Speaker 2: saw Teletubbies, whether they're creepy or not, the Mummy, back

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Speaker 2: to the Future, and I know Christopher Lloyd was there,

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Speaker 2: so I wonder if that was an ode to him.

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Speaker 2: But I saw a lot of back to the future

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Speaker 2: there and I was like, ah, huh.

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Speaker 1: I saw Christopher Lloyd, did you Yes? No, he doesn't

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Speaker 1: know who is you.

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Speaker 2: Guy, he doesn't care. He knows people who don't know

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Speaker 2: who they know him, he doesn't know them. Like that's

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Speaker 2: the thing you could say, hi, and also again reminiscing

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Speaker 2: with the actors who you loved as children. During Dragon Cot,

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Speaker 2: I saw like many actors, did any of the Lord

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Speaker 2: of the Rings people come through? I thought I saw

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Speaker 2: maybe they were coming through, And I thought I saw

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Speaker 2: some people from Buffy coming through.

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Speaker 1: David Boran was saying there was a big Bones contingents.

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Speaker 2: Oh, he's not That was not my thing.

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Speaker 1: Me either, but I know that he was there more

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Speaker 1: for Bones, oh and for Angel. Simon Peg was there,

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Speaker 1: and he was there for a bunch of stuff.

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Speaker 2: Simon Peg was there. That's big.

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Speaker 1: Yeah John the names, Yeah, artist by from the Mummy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. People were oh yeah excited.

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Speaker 1: Also I have to say I saw some less unicorn

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Speaker 1: oh and merchandise.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting. So yeah, just brought me back to these

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Speaker 2: things like where childhood things feel comforting and yeah, it

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Speaker 2: all came back to how the older generations have made

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Speaker 2: new habits for self soothing or comfort and I just

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Speaker 2: thought to wonder, what is this actually? What does it

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Speaker 2: look like on the gender line, What does it look

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Speaker 2: like when it comes to just reminiscing and how is

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Speaker 2: it healthy or unhealthy? So I will say right here

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Speaker 2: we do mention obesity and eating habits. I don't think

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Speaker 2: we go into anything specific. There are some technical terms

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Speaker 2: that I'm gonna struggle through, but nothing big, but just

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Speaker 2: so you know, and drug use an alcohol just mentions.

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Speaker 2: We're not really getting into it. So before we get

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Speaker 2: into alt that, let's talk about what self soothing is.

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Speaker 2: And this is from the Oxford language, outside of its

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Speaker 2: reference to children, which we'll kind of mention here in libit,

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Speaker 2: but it is enabling a person to comfort themselves when

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Speaker 2: unhappy or distressed. So it's very simple. Essentially, it's a

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Speaker 2: way to find a way to be okay. Right again,

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Speaker 2: from the show Havenpsychology dot Com. They kind of go

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Speaker 2: into it deeper, saying self soothing refers to any behavior

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Speaker 2: and individual uses to regulate their emotional state by themselves.

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Speaker 2: Self soothing behaviors are identifiable across the lifespan. So as

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Speaker 2: mentioned above, a majority of the conversation around self soothing

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Speaker 2: is about children or infants, with the idea that they

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Speaker 2: are self soothing as a habit again introduced to infants,

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Speaker 2: for example, the use of pacifiers or sucking on their thumbs,

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Speaker 2: having a blanket or a toy that they have to

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Speaker 2: have at all times. I've also seen it in not

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Speaker 2: to compare, but like dogs when they get overly anxiously excited,

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Speaker 2: they have something in their mouth at all times to

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Speaker 2: not overreact. But that's also a form of self soothing

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Speaker 2: as well. But here we are referencing the acts of

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Speaker 2: habits such as watching comfort shows again, weighted animals or blankets,

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Speaker 2: stress balls, fidget gadgets, et cetera, as adults, or habits

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Speaker 2: or rituals that we have. So again we're not really

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Speaker 2: talking about specific items like fidgets or stemming. That's a

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Speaker 2: whole different thing.

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Speaker 3: Again.

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Speaker 2: I think we do need to come back to talk

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Speaker 2: about especially as we're talking about our mental health. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's not good, Anie, I'm not good. I'm fine, it's

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Speaker 2: frything's fine.

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Speaker 3: How are you giving me mixed messages?

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Speaker 2: I think that is also a part of self serving, right,

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Speaker 2: pretending like everything is just fine. Yeah, as like Egene

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Speaker 2: Carroll told us, it's okay, laugh, laugh through it, am

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Speaker 2: I right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think there's a part of the at

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Speaker 1: least for me, things can feel very small. So like

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Speaker 1: one of the things I'll do is I'll put on

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Speaker 1: like really comfy socks and I'll read fan fiction, and

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Speaker 1: I there's a part of myself that has to tell

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Speaker 1: me like this is the best thing ever, like I'm

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Speaker 1: having the best time, and I am having a great time.

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Speaker 1: But a part of it is kind of hyping it

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Speaker 1: up to like everything's fine. I forgot my soft socks,

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Speaker 1: my fan fiction, It's okay, We're okay, we are.

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Speaker 2: All okay, like whispering really violently to yourself. But yeah.

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Speaker 2: But again, the self soothing idea, I think it's been

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Speaker 2: more correlated in the past with children infants, teaching them

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Speaker 2: to like be okay, that whole like crying it out

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Speaker 2: type of thing, which, by the way, back and forth

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Speaker 2: I've seen different. I'm not a parent, so I don't know,

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Speaker 2: but there's a lot of debate in that. But it

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Speaker 2: does have a lot of reference to infants in childhood.

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Speaker 2: And maybe this is why when we talk about comfort

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Speaker 2: habits or self soothing it could be seen as feminized

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Speaker 2: maybe or because of its association again with children and infants,

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Speaker 2: a way of feeling infantilized through these habits. And again,

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Speaker 2: some of our self soothing is loving something, being a

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Speaker 2: fan of something, finding a moment to maybe find that fanfic.

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Speaker 2: If you are huge into k pop. There's a lot

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Speaker 2: of people who really like what pad, which I did

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Speaker 2: not know was a thing until you referenced it, and

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Speaker 2: then friend Marissa for another show was like, yeah, a

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Speaker 2: lot of capop fin fiction happens there, like what, And

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Speaker 2: I've seen that in reference, But like that can be

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Speaker 2: an way of self soothing, Like you were trying to

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Speaker 2: go into a fantasy world and something that you love,

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Speaker 2: and a lot of it feels infantalized when we like

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Speaker 2: make jokes of it or say, oh, these are these

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Speaker 2: girls all these things? Again, it's interesting, and you know,

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Speaker 2: we're not the only one. We talked about this repeatedly.

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Speaker 2: Here's a quote from Hofstra Chronicle dot com and she

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Speaker 2: talks about her love of different fandoms in different things

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Speaker 2: that she thinks are great. She says, societally feminine interests

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Speaker 2: are tied to vanity, emotion, and excess. Watching women fall

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Speaker 2: in love in beautiful dresses is one of my favorite pastimes,

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Speaker 2: whether it be in a Jane Austen novel The Bridgeton

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Speaker 2: Series fantasies filled with princesses getting trolled in marble halls,

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Speaker 2: or the sound of music. My love for artists like

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Speaker 2: Taylor Swift and the joy of find in decoding her

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Speaker 2: song lyrics, analyzing her fashion moments and scream singing in

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Speaker 2: the card does not detract from my intelligence. In society,

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Speaker 2: soft femininity is judged to be weak. We've talked about

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Speaker 2: this repeatedly, recently too, because we talked a lot about fandoms.

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Speaker 2: Of course, with all that, it is interesting that women

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Speaker 2: being interested in something or liking something is thought of

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Speaker 2: as childish. So when we talk about collecting dolls versus

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Speaker 2: collecting action figures, Am I right?

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Speaker 3: Ye?

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Speaker 2: Little bobbleheads versus a doll, Barbie doll which probably worth

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Speaker 2: thousands of dollars if you have the right one from

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Speaker 2: way back when. But it also can be seen that

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Speaker 2: women's habits when it comes to stress is seen as

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Speaker 2: different as well. In a research paper written by Frank

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Speaker 2: Rena and Andrew Julius about gender differences in self soothing,

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Speaker 2: they write this, gender differences and coping styles have long

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Speaker 2: been documented, with research consistently demonstrating that males and females

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Speaker 2: exhibit distinct preferences in how they regulate stress and emotional discomfort. Historically,

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Speaker 2: females are more likely to engage in emotion focused coping strategies,

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Speaker 2: while males gravitate toward problem focused or distraction based approaches.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if it's me. I'm going to do both.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I go through I have spurts

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Speaker 1: where I want to like actively physically do something right

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Speaker 1: and it makes me feel better. Yet they're not. I

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Speaker 1: can't depend on them. They kind of come out of nowhere.

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Speaker 2: I feel you're more better at that than I am,

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Speaker 2: because at least you are like productive when you do that.

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Speaker 2: As where I start something and just look at it

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Speaker 2: and I don't like this anymore. You finish it out.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, I quit. But anyway, They go on

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Speaker 2: to talk about how the two genders. Yes, this is

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Speaker 2: very much heteronormative research here, binary apologies, but we're going

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Speaker 2: with what we have and they are likely to do so. So,

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Speaker 2: they write, Empirical findings suggest that females are more likely

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Speaker 2: to engage in self soothing behaviors than males, particularly those

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Speaker 2: involving emotional self talk and seeking internal reassurance. These behaviors

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Speaker 2: align with the broader emotional socialization of girls, who are

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Speaker 2: often encouraged to be introspective and emotionally expressive. The SCCS

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Speaker 2: data show that female participants score higher on indices of

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Speaker 2: cognitive self soothing, including self validating thoughts and visualizations of

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Speaker 2: emotional safe spaces and then to continue. Males, on the

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Speaker 2: other hand, may favor more physical or action oriented self

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Speaker 2: soothing techniques, such as engaging in repetitive motion e g. Pacing, fidgeting,

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Speaker 2: physical withdrawal, or non verbal gestures. These behaviors often reflect

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Speaker 2: a cultural discouragement of overt emotional expression in boys and

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Speaker 2: a preference for behavioral over cognitive or verbal processing of emotions. Notably,

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Speaker 2: boys are often less likely to label these behaviors as

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Speaker 2: coping or emotional regulation, contributing to their underreporting and self

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Speaker 2: assessment studies. This whole level, like, we need a whole

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Speaker 2: conversation about how men don't participate even though they're asked more. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they're focused more on but they like that I don't

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Speaker 2: want to be And the underreporting or not even understanding

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Speaker 2: what they're reporting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm kind of curious how video gaming might come

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Speaker 1: to play in this because I know we're gonna talk

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Speaker 1: about it more later, but that that's one that I

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Speaker 1: find that I go to when I'm stressed. But I

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Speaker 1: know for a lot of people it's the opposite. But

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Speaker 1: I just feel like a lot of men in my

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Speaker 1: life it's almost kind of a turn off my brain,

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Speaker 1: physical thing that they do. So I'm just curious.

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Speaker 2: Now you say that my partner will be like after

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Speaker 2: a hard day's work, is like, I'm just I'm just

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Speaker 2: gonna play a little of so and so.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because it does. It does like kind of

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Speaker 1: involve a lot of times almost a fidget yea or

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Speaker 1: something like with your fingers type of response. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: just curious.

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Speaker 2: That is interesting. But as we as this article above says,

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking for men, I don't know, emotional regulation is

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Speaker 2: for the weak to marginalize. Is that what I'm hearing?

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Speaker 2: But I guess with all that it's actually a very

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Speaker 2: mature response to be able to regulate. Again, from that

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Speaker 2: same paper, they say the adaptive potential of self soothing

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Speaker 2: is evident across genders. Studies have shown that individuals regardless

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Speaker 2: of gender who actively and consciously engage in self soothing,

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Speaker 2: report better mood regulations, improved sleep quality, and higher resilience

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Speaker 2: in the face of chronic stress. Gender specific training and

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Speaker 2: soothing techniques tailored to comfort with certain types of behavior

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Speaker 2: could therefore enhance coping capacity for both males and females.

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Speaker 2: So this is one of those things of like a

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Speaker 2: it's not bad emotional regulation. Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know why we've felt the need to

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Speaker 1: turn it into a weakness.

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Speaker 2: But yeah yeah. And as an added side point, they

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Speaker 2: also talk about the facts males are more likely to

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Speaker 2: participate in negative self soothing or external behaviors like aggression

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Speaker 2: and drug use when their self soothing tactics are not working.

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Speaker 2: So I've seen this throughout the different articles and columns

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Speaker 2: talking about drug use as a self soothing technique as

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Speaker 2: well as use of alcohol. And they're using this as

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Speaker 2: if it's two separate things, So they are definitions of

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Speaker 2: self soothing. It's definitely along the lines of like calm down,

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Speaker 2: talk to yourselves, give yourself a pep talk. But that's

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Speaker 2: not always what we're seeing. But with that, men are

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Speaker 2: more likely to do the more aggressive things, and women

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Speaker 2: who quote employ verbal and introspective forms of self soothing.

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Speaker 2: They have higher levels of emotional literacy. Again, I would

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Speaker 2: call it at maturity, yep, just mature. Might just be

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Speaker 2: oversimplifying things, but I think that's the other part that

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Speaker 2: we don't talk about emotional literacy and we're not getting

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Speaker 2: into this here and what that lists like and how

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Speaker 2: that is really beneficial in life.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and your relationships with other people.

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Speaker 2: It's very helpful, which we need apparently I don't believe that,

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Speaker 2: but you know whatever. Moving on, So again, we've previously

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Speaker 2: talked about some of our anxious habits and whether or

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Speaker 2: not they're actual trauma responses as well. We're not getting

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Speaker 2: too deep into that, but btdubs they are some of

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Speaker 2: these things. They are, they are, and they do overlap.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna get into all of it, but they

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Speaker 2: talk about how we react to things. So whether it's

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Speaker 2: being uncomfortable with the door knocks, I am not opening

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Speaker 2: that damn door. I'll talk to you through the ring

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Speaker 2: and tell you to leave. An I have a great

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Speaker 2: loud dog to help me with this. She is because

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Speaker 2: she sounds fierce, she does, but like, like that's our

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Speaker 2: trauma response. Yeah, it is being too close to people

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Speaker 2: being around too many people not want to see with

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Speaker 2: your sit in a restaurant with your back exposed. I

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Speaker 2: hate that. M M so. There's a lot of things,

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Speaker 2: but one of the things they talk about in this

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Speaker 2: as well as a trauma response, but also, you know,

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Speaker 2: whatever is about comfort foods and overeating, that does not

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Speaker 2: all go always go hand in hand. And I feel

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Speaker 2: like that needs to be said. But a lot of

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Speaker 2: the research does kind of overlap it, because when we

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Speaker 2: talk about stress eating and binging versus comfort foods, there

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Speaker 2: are different levels, obviously, but they do have that as

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Speaker 2: an overlap of response to trauma and stress and anxiety.

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Speaker 2: And I have several foods I call comfort foods. I

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Speaker 2: have this weird taco salad that my mom made as

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Speaker 2: a kid. Thanks Riceeroni for this recipe. I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 2: it came from a back of the box of a

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Speaker 2: Rice Eronni because you add Riceeronni to it. Not a

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Speaker 2: sponsor Peak Doves. I made you this before.

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Speaker 3: It was great.

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Speaker 2: It's so delicious, Like it doesn't make sense how good

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Speaker 2: it is. But I like this. I guess it's like

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Speaker 2: Mexican rice and.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fird. White people talking salty, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Cheesy, get some tomatoes and salsa and greens all up

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Speaker 2: in there. It's really good. Then I call something my

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Speaker 2: country hodgepodge that I grew up eating, and that's a

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Speaker 2: family thing, which is a mess of green beans, cream corn, macaroni, cheese,

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Speaker 2: and corn bread and just goop it up and it

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Speaker 2: just it sounds goofy, by the way. It's like, it

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Speaker 2: makes that goopy sound. But it's delicious and it.

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Speaker 3: Makes me very happy.

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Speaker 2: But it reminds me a little bit of like the

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Speaker 2: old school days when I was first learning to love

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Speaker 2: country food because that was not my typical foods. And

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Speaker 2: then my I go to rice with kimchi or rice

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Speaker 2: and soy sauce and that's it.

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: That's greatly delicious. But these are combor foods to me

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Speaker 2: where I feel like over stressed and I just want

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Speaker 2: something familiar, right. And then when it comes to do

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Speaker 2: you have any any what are your food I don't

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Speaker 2: you have ritual foods that's different from comfort foods.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I feel like mine kind of I go

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Speaker 1: through phases. That's with a lot of stuff we're going

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Speaker 1: to talk about. But macaroni and cheese is pretty high

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Speaker 1: up there. Uh, And right now ramen is my big one.

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Speaker 1: I can't tell if it's because it's easy to make, like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I did enjoy ramen as a kid.

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Speaker 1: I've always loved rob But right now I'm in some

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Speaker 1: kind of Ramen face.

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Speaker 2: You know. I love ramen, and I loved it as

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Speaker 2: a kid as well. My parents were getting very upset

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Speaker 2: because my chunky self eating all the pasta that are

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Speaker 2: like you, you know, the whole like Atkins diet was

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Speaker 2: coming out. Then everybody's like down. But I would eat

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Speaker 2: like my friend and I would eat it in so

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Speaker 2: many different ways. And two of our favorite ways were

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Speaker 2: when we would drain most of the water out, crunch

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Speaker 2: it up, crunch it out the hell out of it,

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Speaker 2: and then just put a mess of cheese and it

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Speaker 2: was just and then and then the seasoning packet and

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Speaker 2: that's the entirety of the meal.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, so you didn't cook it.

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Speaker 2: You did cook it, I'm sorry, Sy, you cooked it,

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Speaker 2: drained out the water like then then you'd mixed the

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Speaker 2: seasoning and not all the seasoning either, by the way,

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Speaker 2: because there was too much without the water. And then

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Speaker 2: a lot of lots of cheese and that was the

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Speaker 2: entire meal.

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Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite things about Ramen. Oh kinds

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Speaker 1: of stuff.

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Speaker 2: And then we thought we were being real chefs when

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Speaker 2: we took instant rice and put it at the bottom

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Speaker 2: and then put the noodles on top of it. Carbs

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Speaker 2: upon carbs upon coh.

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Speaker 1: No, I think I think you were onto something.

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Speaker 2: I'm just saying, like we thought we were doing real,

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Speaker 2: real chef culinary.

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Speaker 1: Arts right here, Wait till someone hears about this.

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Speaker 2: Asian people do it anyway to get the saucer anyway.

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Speaker 2: Whatever I was relaying then, But yeah, there's a lot

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Speaker 2: to that with comfort foods like this is some things

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Speaker 2: that I remember and yes I still eat. We talked

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Speaker 2: about Chef boy Ard that became a comfort food for

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Speaker 2: me with all the cheesiness. I got to go for

400
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Speaker 2: it not too long ago. So I can't eat it

401
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 2: right now, but I'll probably come back to it. And

402
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 2: again when it comes to comfort foods being actually comforting.

403
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Speaker 2: Theirs research papers on this, In fact, so many, ranging

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Speaker 2: from the obesity levels to stress levels to social levels

405
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Speaker 2: of comfort foods, and many also talk about how mood

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00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 2: affects the food. High stress could equal more sugar or

407
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 2: processed foods. Soft serve is my weakness. When I feel sad,

408
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 2: I just want soft serve. I just had an incident

409
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 2: in which the soft serve fell into my hands because

410
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Speaker 2: it was not frozen enough, and it just it was

411
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Speaker 2: one of those said e or moments. It just wopped

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Speaker 2: over and I just stared at it, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: do I cry, not cry?

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Speaker 1: That is rough that you needed your comfort soft serve

415
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Speaker 1: and it fell.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, They made it right and got me another

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Speaker 2: one and put it in a bowl this time. But way.

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Speaker 2: But of course, with all of that, when it comes

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Speaker 2: to comfort, it's more complex than this when it comes

420
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Speaker 2: to food, when it comes to food and eating disorders

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Speaker 2: or just eating in stress. There's a lot more to this,

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Speaker 2: of course, And here's a bit from adventurewoman dot com.

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Speaker 2: They write one comfort food study notes that these culinary

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Speaker 2: preferences lie at the intersection of taste, nostalgia, and loneliness.

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Speaker 2: Another research project looking into comfort foods describe how comfort

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Speaker 2: food what brings up associations of positive relationships and make

427
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 2: us feel less lonely. The emotional satisfaction of comfort food

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00:23:56,040 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 2: ties into our attachment styles, or the ability to form health,

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00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 2: the emotional bonds as well as the positive emotional association

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Speaker 2: we formed as children. That is, a grilled cheese sandwich

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00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,959
Speaker 2: tastes good and reminds us of a happy childhood, and

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Speaker 2: chicken soup makes us feel loved and care for. And

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Speaker 2: I think that's kind of what we're talking about, what

434
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 2: I'm talking about. When it says what I'm talking about

435
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 2: comfort food, there's a lot of it is nostalgic, a

436
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 2: lot of if it was yearning or missing something and

437
00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 2: then today remembering something. So I've talked about my connection

438
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 2: with food and my connection with Korean culture and not

439
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 2: remembering much, but my taste buzz remember it and after

440
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 2: I process the traumatic moment of remembering it, wanting more

441
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 2: of that. And I think that's something that they this

442
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 2: article talks a little more about, and I think that's

443
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 2: something that we kind of miss when all we see

444
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 2: is obesity.

445
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:55,640
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, And it just makes sense. I remember

446
00:24:55,720 --> 00:25:00,199
Speaker 1: during the pandemic, we had a whole episode on we

447
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 1: weren't maybe being able to hang out with people and

448
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 1: share these meals with people and missing those those things.

449
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 3: That you just have maybe once a year. But it does.

450
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,719
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's like spot on of the

451
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 1: It reminds you of this time in your life when

452
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: somebody was caring for you or made this for you,

453
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 1: or if it felt simpler in a way, or something

454
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 1: that makes complete sense to me.

455
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: And it makes sense to me a lot of times.

456
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 1: On the other podcast, I do savor whenever we talk

457
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: about the pandemic. So many what I would call kind

458
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: of traditional comfort foods were selling more during the pandemic

459
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 1: whecause people were wanted that, they wanted the comfort of that,

460
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 1: and so they were Yeah, they're buying more mac and cheese,

461
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 1: they're buying more chef warrity.

462
00:25:55,600 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely with that. Yes, there is that negative

463
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 2: the adverse of food as well. There was another research

464
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 2: paper written by A. Janet Tamiyama, Mary F. Dolmen, and

465
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 2: Alyssa S. Eppel in which the research had a whole

466
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 2: level of detail with obesity and stress eating and why

467
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 2: this is a thing and to put it simply, those

468
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,879
Speaker 2: with the highest stress eight more. They write, quote, we

469
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 2: found as hypothesized that the high stress group had significantly

470
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 2: greater BMI and sagital diameter and reported greater eating after

471
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 2: stressful events. In response to acute lab stressors to high

472
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 2: stress group showed a blunt cortisol response, lower diurnal cortosol levels,

473
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 2: and greater suppression in response to dexomethisone aka being stressed

474
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 2: out and eating too much can be unhealthy, but again

475
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,640
Speaker 2: so are other types of stress related activities. So yes,

476
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: we have often talked about stress eating and all of

477
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 2: these things, but also could it be a look at

478
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 2: what we see as bad versus good in food and

479
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 2: any day excessive is bad?

480
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, absolutely, And I think this is interesting because

481
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: I completely believe this is true. But in my case,

482
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 1: when I get stressed to eat less, but it's it's

483
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: still unhealthy, right because I'm not getting enough vitamins and

484
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 1: when I do eat, I'm eating ramen, which I love,

485
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: but it's you know, salt and ultar process. So that's

486
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 1: also part of it too, right.

487
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 2: And there's this level of conversation in like bipolar disorder,

488
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 2: even when people are on specific levels that some people

489
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 2: eat binge eat and some people stop eating. So there's

490
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 2: extremes of that in that all like one diagnosis, which

491
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 2: is very as much a spectrum spectrum when it comes

492
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 2: to that as well. But it's interesting in that conversation

493
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 2: as well, because it's all about control. So whether it's

494
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 2: overeating or not eating enough, it's still a conversation of

495
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 2: control and stress. And I do the same thing. Actually,

496
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 2: I don't eat when I'm upset. If I'm depressed, I'm

497
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 2: not going to be eating. You have to force me

498
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 2: to eat. If I'm sad, I'm definitely not eating. And

499
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 2: if I'm upset, my stomach is tore up. I actually

500
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 2: have a lot of stomach issues when that happens. If

501
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 2: I'm bored, I'm eating.

502
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

503
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 1: If I'm with people, that's my best bet. I will

504
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 1: eat around people.

505
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 2: Yes. Again, as the Adventure Women article talks about, they

506
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 2: talk about sharing comfort foods or traditions. It's also a

507
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: way to bond and share your traditions, family stories. Like again,

508
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 2: I have shared my foods specifically because I think it's

509
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,239
Speaker 2: interesting and it's weird, and I always preface it with

510
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 2: this is a not odd recipe, but I love it.

511
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 2: You should try this with me, and they do, and

512
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 2: you do. I may I have people come over for

513
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 2: Chinese New Years Lunar New Years, so I can share

514
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 2: Korean traditions that I want to remember or I want

515
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 2: to bring into my own life because I've already missed

516
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 2: so much of that and I want to do that

517
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 2: with people I love. I'm very stressed out during that time,

518
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 2: but I get really also, I don't eat a lot

519
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: when I'm around people and make the food is weird.

520
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 3: My mom's that way.

521
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 1: She gets so like hung up on I should have

522
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: done this, or I should have done this, or you know,

523
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 1: I didn't add enough salt or all of that stuff,

524
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: which makes complete sense.

525
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm that way, but yeah, but it is. It's

526
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 2: about sharing my culture, my comfort, my need for you

527
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 2: to see a part of me in that food, as

528
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 2: well as remembering some things that I feel like I

529
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 2: missed when it felt simpler, even if it was traumatic,

530
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 2: there was moments that it felt simple in that vine.

531
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 2: So I think that's a lot to what comfort food is.

532
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: But you know, another way that I don't do, but

533
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 2: I know someone else does, is the need to cry

534
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: or to be heartbroken. So you watch sad movies. That

535
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 2: is your comfort habit. Adie. I absolutely equit this to

536
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 2: you and now Marissa, to be honest, because I was like,

537
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 2: what is happening? Because our soup in sadness at Festival

538
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 2: for your specific birthday was quite funny to me, and

539
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 2: I need to know why.

540
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:30,719
Speaker 1: I. I guess I like it in a controlled environment.

541
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 3: I like knowing.

542
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: That it's coming and that I can kind of prepare myself.

543
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: And I like having that moment of I know I've

544
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 1: said it before, but a lot of times I feel

545
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 1: like I can go to a funeral I won't cry

546
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: at all, But when I watched like a sad movie

547
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: or playing a sad game, than what I didn't cry

548
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: at that funeral, I can cry during that.

549
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everything you say does get hit

550
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 2: spot onto the research essentially, so this is some of

551
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 2: the benefits from very well minded dot com. They say

552
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 2: experience you get to experience sadness without anxiety. So they

553
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 2: talk about how studies show exploring responses to sad stories.

554
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 2: They discovered that participants experience just as much sadness when

555
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 2: recalling a tragic personal event as when they watch tragic

556
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 2: TV and movies. However, there's one noteworthy difference between recalling

557
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 2: a personal tragedy and watching a fictional tragedy. Participants experience

558
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 2: significantly more anxiety when they recall the personal tragedy than

559
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: they did when they watched tragic shows and movies. This

560
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 2: may be key to our ability to enjoy sad fictional stories.

561
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 2: If a sad event happens in real life, is often

562
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 2: accompanied by anxiety because we know that we'll continue to

563
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 2: deal with the impact of that event. On the other hand,

564
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 2: we aren't anxious about consuming a sad story because emotions

565
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 2: we experienced through it won't continue to have an impact

566
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,959
Speaker 2: on us after we're done watching, reading, or listening. So

567
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 2: it's being able to have that moment without the prologue.

568
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 2: Oh my god, what do I do with the aftermath?

569
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 1: Right? Like, oh, I have to deal with all of

570
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: this fallout right now, and said, it's here, I go

571
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: have this cathartic moment and how I can close the

572
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: chapter on whatever it was, or you know, continue to

573
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: think about the last of us and how much I'm

574
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: sad about it, but in a way that doesn't like

575
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: impact my life and the serious I have to make

576
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: a decision about X, y Z.

577
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 2: Way. Yeah, but it's also scientific, like these these things

578
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 2: are not just the psychological benefits, but scientific physical evidence.

579
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 2: It says, it really helps to let those tears out.

580
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 2: So here's our Refinery dot com article written by Maggie's

581
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 2: how she's just talking to. Psychologist Nancy Scarno points to

582
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 2: a study that found watching traumatic films can potentially boost

583
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 2: pain tolerance and feelings of group bonding to simplify that

584
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 2: a little consuming depressing content can actually make you feel

585
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 2: good because of increased endorphins. Who would have thought, she says,

586
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 2: So when we're wanting to consume it traumatic content, when

587
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 2: we're in a low mood, our brains are essentially chasing

588
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 2: those feel good in doorphins. And it further explains in

589
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 2: psychologyspot dot com that these increased endorphins actually can help

590
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 2: endure pain and the afternoonmath is that stress relief, that

591
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 2: euphoria are calm, and how you can let it end

592
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 2: with that movie or if you're any start the process again,

593
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 2: go again, immediately, Let's do it again, let me do

594
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 2: it again. And honestly, I try to find a reason

595
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 2: a person like me actually can't emotionally take this type

596
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 2: of pain. I remove myself pretty heavily in these shows,

597
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 2: but I wasn't able to find something really readily available.

598
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 2: Perhaps I'm not looking for it correctly, but I did

599
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 2: find something that did explain a bit in relation to

600
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 2: horror and violent movies, which I'm okay with those actually,

601
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:17,800
Speaker 2: but it felt like it kind of answered my tragic.

602
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 3: Right, your version, yeah.

603
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 2: My aversion to tragedy. So one of the reasons they

604
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 2: write in High Sensitive Refuge dot Com is that being

605
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 2: able to let go of that feeling after the film

606
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 2: is really hard for me to do. So they say,

607
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 2: quote HSP or highly sensitive people are and I'm not

608
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 2: necessarily saying that I'm that, but they're just explaining these

609
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: types of reactions are likely to feel the emotional effects

610
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 2: for a long time. We may even find ourselves feeling

611
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 2: those painful emotions years later when something reminds us of

612
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 2: the movie we watched. Everyone else might be ready to

613
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 2: move on to another activity, dinner after the movie, you know,

614
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 2: stuff like that. But the HSP still feels those lingering

615
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 2: thoughts and emotions. And I will say for many shows

616
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: that I even love like that are not that are

617
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 2: not like Sad Parks and RECU, which again is one

618
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 2: of my comfort shows, which we're talking about a minute.

619
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 2: I can't watch the ending of the final episode without

620
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 2: feeling like I'm feeling abandoned or being abandoned. I do

621
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 2: that with many many shows. I will not watch the finale.

622
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 1: I can't.

623
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 2: It traumatizes me when and he didn't tell me a

624
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,279
Speaker 2: whole world dies and everybody dies. I had to put

625
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 2: that on Baus because.

626
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 4: I was like, wait, no, no, you can't get me

627
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 4: like this, because it's like watching and emotionally fraught movies

628
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 4: like this, I feel like this emptiness, and I feel

629
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 4: this way for hours and sometimes days, if not years,

630
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 4: if not, like I still am haunted by Land before time.

631
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 2: How dare you leave me in this emptiness with this

632
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 2: dude trying to find his family. I'm gonna cry about

633
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 2: it now, I'm thinking about it. Okay, it's not good

634
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 2: in sad land, like they feel. If I don't like

635
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 2: watching an emotionally fraught movie again, does that same thing

636
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 2: I cannot let go, or of the feeling of grief.

637
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 2: It's scarring, so I don't Again. It's not the horror movies,

638
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 2: and not even violence. There are moments that are like

639
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 2: I can't watch this violence if it's set in, especially

640
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 2: if it's set in realistic scenarios, things that I may

641
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 2: have experienced that are too similar, especially so I can't

642
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 2: have Uh. I could never watch the Wire beg go

643
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 2: was during the time that I was working with teenage

644
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 2: kids in scenarios like this just in rural Georgia or

645
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 2: like Subarbia, Georgia or Atlanta, Georgia. You know, like things

646
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 2: like that. Just it was too close, so I would

647
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:52,919
Speaker 2: have to have people tell me, now, you can't watch that,

648
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 2: it's gonna get you. And again I didn't find much

649
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 2: about because they're tell giving all the Great Nations to

650
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 2: watch sad movies and I'm like, no, thank you. How

651
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 2: dare you that horror movie? I was like, how dare you, Annie?

652
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 2: How dare you not tell me what was gonna happen

653
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 2: with this good I was that one too well?

654
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: I have in defense of me, I was expecting you

655
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: to procrastinate and I had never seen that.

656
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 5: Before, watched that before I got to tell her, I

657
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 5: didn't know you were gonna have thoughts about it.

658
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 2: And I was like, why would you do this to me?

659
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 2: Y'all have a lot of feelings, a lot of feelings.

660
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 2: I'm traumatized, But yeah, I find that interesting that the

661
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 2: two different levels of like, because sometimes I do enjoy

662
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 2: a good cry. Mmmm, it has to be really calculated.

663
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like in my group, I usually get

664
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 1: made fun of as the one that likes angst, so

665
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: it's interesting to me that there's so much research about

666
00:37:58,719 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: that kind of it.

667
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,399
Speaker 2: Then the positive note, Yeah, it's like the positive note

668
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 2: more than anything else.

669
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: Right, I have to say though, like I don't know

670
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: what the correct word for this is, but I maybe

671
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 1: this isn't this isn't it. But I like to feel

672
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 1: the feelings. So after like after the last of US

673
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,320
Speaker 1: two ends, I've played it a million times, it stays

674
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: with me for like a day. Yeah, it doesn't go away,

675
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,239
Speaker 1: and I kind of like it's miserable, but I kind

676
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: of like it because I get to sit there and

677
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: be like, wow, that was real, sad.

678
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 2: I feel like you also like to be alone, so

679
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 2: you can really steal in it.

680
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,280
Speaker 3: I do because I don't.

681
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: I mean, you've seen me cry, you've seen me sob

682
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: but I don't like to completely let go in front

683
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 1: of people when it comes to like let me cry

684
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 1: in my heart out. Sometimes it does happen anyway, but

685
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: I think like the hardest I ever cried at the

686
00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 1: last of US two was when right after people left, and.

687
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 3: Then I really let it go.

688
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you do. That's the thing I was like,

689
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 2: I know she needs to be alone when she says

690
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 2: she's gonna have to take time alone, like, all right,

691
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 2: she needs those moments unless you've been bulling and then

692
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 2: you come up and be like, hey, what's going on?

693
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 1: That was an unfortunate coworker and friend of the show

694
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 1: have been bowling accidentally walked in when I was in

695
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: the midst of my like I need to be a

696
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: little cry one time.

697
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 2: But you know, and we're not going to talk about this.

698
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 2: We've talked about it before because we over here love

699
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 2: some horror movies and we've talked about that. We've talked

700
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 2: about horror tropes and all of these and how it

701
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,840
Speaker 2: also get those endorphins going. I do enjoy good horror movie.

702
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 2: I definitely have to see those through because I need

703
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 2: resolution and it can't be haunted. It will or it

704
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 2: will haunt me just the possibilities of And then some

705
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 2: of those movies haunt you anyway because they're just don't

706
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 2: have conclusions or they'll make you confused. But at least

707
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,919
Speaker 2: I need to see the end, so I don't feel

708
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 2: the same way about that unless it involves like killing

709
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 2: dog are for animals, y'all do too much with that, which,

710
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: by the way, I do want to hear if you

711
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 2: go see a Good Boy Good Boy, because I'm traumatized already.

712
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: I'm very interested to see that movie, which listeners, if

713
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 1: you don't know, is a horror movie told from the

714
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: point of view of the dog, so you know, like

715
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,319
Speaker 1: when the dog starts sparking at something and you don't

716
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: see anything kind of that that whole deal. I'm very

717
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 1: interested to see it because they have to know that

718
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: if they spend a whole movie getting you to connect

719
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 1: with this, dog.

720
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 2: Will burn down.

721
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: I just I mean maybe knock on wood. I just

722
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: don't think they're gonna kill off the dog.

723
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 2: I would. What also gives me in this though, is

724
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 2: when I see a dog's perspective or a pet's perspective

725
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 2: of losing a human and they're waiting for that human.

726
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah.

727
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 2: Tune up again. I'm gonna cry an episode that has

728
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,879
Speaker 2: nothing to do in this episode, but also it gives

729
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 2: me too.

730
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, now I know what you're talking about.

731
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: That is miserable. That is really miserable.

732
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 3: So I will.

733
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 2: Report back. I probably would never will, but you will

734
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 2: report back. But coming back to Comfort series and Comfort movies.

735
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:20,760
Speaker 2: I thought we would talk about series specifically and watching

736
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 2: movies because we're not talking necessarily about crying all the time,

737
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 2: because I think that is an interesting perspective of that

738
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,479
Speaker 2: is a way of self soothing. Is so many emotions happen,

739
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:32,240
Speaker 2: so you need an excuse to be able to connect

740
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 2: your emotions to a fictional ideal. Uh. But also just

741
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 2: like the use of comfort movies to calm you down,

742
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 2: for me, I have my go to movies. I feel

743
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 2: overwhelmeder sets again, Ratitude's always been there parts and Rex

744
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 2: New Girls. Supernatural was there for a little while. I

745
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 2: cannot watch the finale on that one, not because it's

746
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 2: it leaves me, indeed it does, but also it was

747
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 2: bad in my opinion, my opinion. But now Capop Demon

748
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,240
Speaker 2: Hunters has now become a part of that as well

749
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 2: on my list. And I think these are really really

750
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 2: like just effective and distracting. But what are your types

751
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 2: of comfort shows that are not just for crying?

752
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: Well, like comfort foods, they kind of rotate, I would say,

753
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 1: since the pandemic, Star Wars is that's a steady that

754
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 1: one's there, the original trilogy. Anything else outside of that, No,

755
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:31,720
Speaker 1: but the original trilogy very comforting. I know it changed

756
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 1: the Last of Us and Last was too. Not the

757
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 1: show the game, yeah, because I know where the game goes.

758
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: I think I know where the show is going to go,

759
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 1: but I don't know for sure. So that's kind of

760
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: a level of tension that the game doesn't have for

761
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 1: me right now. SpongeBob, it used to be how to

762
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:57,879
Speaker 1: Train Your Dragon for a while, but now it's Spongebobungebob.

763
00:42:58,120 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 2: Interesting.

764
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm loving it. I haven't watched Bungebob in a

765
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:06,479
Speaker 1: long time, but having a grand grand ole time.

766
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 2: Is poker Face going to be on your list?

767
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: I do love poker Face. I've watched poker Face so

768
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 1: much like Rewatch because I'm trying to like well back

769
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 1: when I was trying to guess who it was and

770
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 1: so the same thing happened with only murders in building.

771
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 3: I would rewatch and rewatch and watch.

772
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 1: I also rewatched Adolescents a ton, which I don't know

773
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 1: what that says about me, but I guess I kind

774
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 1: of like the the puzzle pieces and trying to figure

775
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 1: out things that distracts me. That's a really good distraction

776
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 1: for me.

777
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,719
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that makes it. That could be a whole

778
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 2: conversation about like true crime as well. Those two going,

779
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 2: but that's another episode that we can do. We're palling

780
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: in some episodes here that I won't remember. But so

781
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,879
Speaker 2: why do we do this? So, according to psychology dot com,

782
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 2: there are so many reasons. Maybe it's about reliving treasured

783
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,800
Speaker 2: moments or a time, so I do have those moments

784
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 2: of like I remember watching this this time and it

785
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:07,760
Speaker 2: was a good time. I remember watching Supernatural finding something

786
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 2: that I actually liked and was invested in and had

787
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 2: a long time to do so, but I did it

788
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 2: very quickly during the pandemic. Was a delight. But or

789
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 2: it could be that it's familiar and you know what

790
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 2: to expect, and I say that a lot. I'm like,

791
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 2: I know, even though even if it's dramatic. So I've

792
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 2: done this with a lot of K dramas, because K

793
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 2: dramas just put in random murders and kidnappings for no

794
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 2: reason in a sitcom and you're like, what is happening?

795
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 2: I know, I can I can fast forward it because

796
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 2: I know what's coming m hm. And so that has

797
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:37,799
Speaker 2: become a new thing for me. And there are several

798
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 2: K dramas who are on my list too. I just

799
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 2: didn't like it, but you know it's there, or I

800
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 2: know when I can get up and do things without

801
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 2: being interested in so that that it is something for me,

802
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 2: or even what they call the mister Rogers effect, And

803
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:52,839
Speaker 2: I wanted to include this so again this is from

804
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 2: psychology dot com because I've never heard of this, and

805
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 2: I was like, huh, so this says again. The article

806
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 2: is called why we watch the same shows over and

807
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 2: over again? That's the title, and I'm like, yeah, that's

808
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 2: about right. They say at the beginning of every show,

809
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,439
Speaker 2: mister Rogers went through the same routine of changing into

810
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 2: his cardigan sweater and around the house sneakers while seeing

811
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 2: the same reassuring words. He did this to provide the

812
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 2: necessary stability and comfort to his young viewers. According to

813
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 2: research by Cristelle Antonio Russell and Sidney Levy, repetition works

814
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 2: for adults as well. Knowing what will happen bestow's order

815
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:32,399
Speaker 2: and safety, especially during times when our lives feel uncomfortable

816
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 2: and less controlled. Mister Rogers, you really were something. Yeah,

817
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 2: we love you, rip. And they go on to list

818
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 2: so much more, including seeing how we've grown since we

819
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 2: first watched this, So again that kind of like developing

820
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 2: in the show, whether it's you're figuring that our going

821
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 2: back to be like oh yeah, or finding something new

822
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 2: or remember what this felt like and now I'm here

823
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 2: a type of conversation again, not wanting to choose. I

824
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 2: think that's an interesting one. There's too many things, and

825
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 2: I've seen this. I don't know. I don't know what

826
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 2: I want to want to judge. Oh never mind, I'm

827
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 2: not gonna pick anything new. I'm not sure about this one.

828
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,359
Speaker 2: I'll just go back to this, right.

829
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

830
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 2: I guess we all do that because we're like, oh

831
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 2: my god, what are these bad choices? It's just the

832
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 2: remake of remake of remake anyway, that sound really crotchety

833
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,879
Speaker 2: just now, I hope you did okod Or maybe it's

834
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 2: the connection you feel to the characters. And this kind

835
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 2: of goes back to our own episodes about fandoms and

836
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:35,879
Speaker 2: parasocial relationships and fandoms and kind of like whether it's

837
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 2: good or bad, but you do feel like you have

838
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 2: an established relationship because you know their personality, you know

839
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 2: them like no one else does it within the same show.

840
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,720
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and as I've discussed before. I can relate

841
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,400
Speaker 1: more easily through a fictional character that I feel like

842
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,839
Speaker 1: I know than I can through my own self because

843
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, they're so strong and if they're feeling

844
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: this week, then are not weak because I know they're strong.

845
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 1: I have all this proof and all these other characters

846
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 1: that think so yes.

847
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 2: And I was thinking that we could put in a

848
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 2: moment where we talk about when we lose those characters,

849
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 2: whether it's because the real life people or the writers

850
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 2: or such are horrible turn out to be horrible because

851
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 2: I used to love Glee like there, because like I

852
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 2: love singing, and I love musicals and I love all

853
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 2: those things. But it's so bad to me. It's like haunted,

854
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 2: hauntingly tainted. I don't know how else to put that,

855
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 2: But like when what happens when you lose those and

856
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:43,360
Speaker 2: what happens when you're trying to like reconnect And for

857
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 2: some people, we know that they can separate the character

858
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 2: from the people. I cannot do that for the life

859
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 2: of me. If something is ruined, it is forever ruined.

860
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 2: But we're not going to get into that. That's the

861
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 2: whole different gigs, because like, what do you do when

862
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 2: you're self doothing is the low soothing. That's a whole

863
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,720
Speaker 2: different conversation. But being able to return to my favorite

864
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 2: characters who get into these sealy hijinks, it is comforting.

865
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 2: It is comforting to know that their goofiness, they're over

866
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 2: the topness, like it is able to be like, uh,

867
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:17,319
Speaker 2: you're a goofy. I like you.

868
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's nice, it's nice. You know it's coming.

869
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 1: I'll laugh at the same joke I've seen a million

870
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 1: times because I know it's coming, and I'm like, oh, yeah,

871
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: that's so.

872
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 3: I love that.

873
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 2: And something you mentioned earlier that we're not getting into

874
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 2: because I kind of because it's not like it is,

875
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 2: and it isn't in my world in this level of

876
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 2: like it should be because I do it often. It

877
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 2: was gaming you were talking about that earlier as a

878
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,240
Speaker 2: form of self soothing, and whether or not it's very gendered.

879
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 2: We already know because we talked about the world of

880
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 2: gaming when it comes to marginalized people and how often

881
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 2: times they are ostracized, but at the same time they

882
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 2: make their own communities and we love it. We I

883
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,799
Speaker 2: do eventually need to come back and coming to have

884
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 2: a conversation about cozy gaming and how it's kind of

885
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 2: been so commercialized that it's being ruined by industry and

886
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 2: not allowing for enough independent artists to come in as

887
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 2: well as still feminizing and fantilizing what it is, and

888
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 2: the gaming industry is doing that as well. The corporates,

889
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 2: not necessarily the individual, but the corporations. They're like, we'll

890
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 2: just make it a cute game that has nonsensical things.

891
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 2: They'll be enough, which is not true that which is

892
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:27,800
Speaker 2: not what people want necessarily. Sometimes yes, most of the

893
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 2: times no, but that's the whole thing. But what were

894
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 2: your thoughts on using games as a self sooth?

895
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,879
Speaker 1: I find it incredibly self soothing. I know we've talked

896
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: about it before. A lot of my friends would veheminently disagree,

897
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 1: but I just feel like it gives me a task

898
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,360
Speaker 1: and I can complete it. And this is where I

899
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 1: know a lot of people get hung up, but I

900
00:49:56,160 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 1: feel like I'm pretty good at it, so it makes me.

901
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,040
Speaker 1: It distracts me, and then I have to focus on

902
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 1: I have to kill the zombie before it kills me.

903
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 1: It kind of takes me out of everything else because

904
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,919
Speaker 1: I'm legitimately a little scared and don't want to die

905
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: on this game, die in this game, so I have

906
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 1: to focus on it. And so it is a really

907
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 1: good way of kind of turning off all of the

908
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:26,880
Speaker 1: other things that are making me panic. But also, you know,

909
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 1: if I'm playing a good survival horror game, then you're

910
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 1: getting that feeling of, I think, releasing some of those

911
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 1: tensions that you have pent up. So I mean even

912
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, I really liked it because

913
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 1: it is something you sort of have to I think

914
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 1: for me, it's something I have to focus on. I

915
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 1: know some people use it in almost the opposite way,

916
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 1: where it's like you can turn off your brain and

917
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 1: just do do something. But I like that, like I

918
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: have to focus on it, and it gives me something

919
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 1: to do with my hands, and it gives me a

920
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,320
Speaker 1: sense of sadness faction, like I'm accomplishing something.

921
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, so because you did mention that, I was like, oh,

922
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 2: we didn't really talk about it. And again, this probably

923
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 2: could be a whole other episode in itself. But looking

924
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 2: up a very well minded dot com, they talk about

925
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 2: how video games can relieve stress and they compared it

926
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 2: to meditative interventions. So here's what They say, one study

927
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 2: compared the stress were living effects of playing a simple

928
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 2: casual video game to the effects of participating in a

929
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 2: mindfulness meditation session. Both groups experienced significant reductions and stress

930
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,320
Speaker 2: following the interventions. So that's really interesting to me that

931
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 2: they actually decided, hey, what if we took two things

932
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 2: that seemed to be opposite mm hm, you know, and

933
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,759
Speaker 2: because like what we think of the games and like

934
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 2: having to do all these things, that that actually could

935
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 2: be one and the same. In the stress reliever, they say,

936
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:52,280
Speaker 2: while participants in the mindfulness meditation group experienced a slightly

937
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 2: greater stress relief, the researchers suggested that the effects were

938
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 2: very similar. Given the popularity of video games, researchers suggests

939
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 2: that these two can be effective interventions for people coping

940
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 2: with stress. So, of course it's not gonna be one

941
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 2: on one, it's not going to be the same, but

942
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,399
Speaker 2: the fact that the effects are pretty similar says a lot,

943
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 2: because we know more people are going to see gaming

944
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 2: as a legit activity as where meditation is crunchy, right.

945
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, And I mean I do it's almost

946
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: hard to describe, but I do think that's true, especially

947
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 1: if if you've got if you've played the game multiple times,

948
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 1: then you're you just know what to do, like you're

949
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 1: not thinking about it almost you're just doing it. And

950
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 1: in my favorite cases, you're getting a beautiful story of

951
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 1: while you're doing it.

952
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 2: Yes, And then they even talk about co op games

953
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:47,439
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I could see that, but I also

954
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 2: see the fights.

955
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: Yeah that's a that's an interesting one.

956
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 2: Stress levels. But at the same time, yeah, I can.

957
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 3: See that one.

958
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:14,760
Speaker 2: But yeah, So with all of that, there are great

959
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 2: benefits and these types of self soothing that we've talked

960
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 2: about that was also negatives, so that they can be

961
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 2: along the lines of self care, new hobbies, and can

962
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 2: be wonderful with help of therapy like DBT or dialectical

963
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 2: behavior therapy, which they do talk a lot about with

964
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 2: self soothing and different other forms of therapy in general. Again,

965
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,360
Speaker 2: and we're not talking necessarily about stemming or fidget toys,

966
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 2: which have now been put into practice for many people

967
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 2: with maybe ADHD, autism, bipolar, any of these things. They

968
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 2: are really useful and it actually can be really helpful

969
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 2: for specific timing. So they had this example from positive

970
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,800
Speaker 2: psychology dot Com of something that happened during the pandemic

971
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 2: because people weren't able to get hugs. So they write

972
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 2: they found that both self soothing touch in the study,

973
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:06,920
Speaker 2: most participants choose to place their right hand on their

974
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 2: heart and their left hand on their abdomen while focusing

975
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 2: on the rising and falling of breathing and receiving a

976
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 2: hug from another person were equally effective at lowering stress levels. Therefore,

977
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 2: when other people are not available to hug, self soothing

978
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 2: touch could be a source of much needed comfort and reassurance.

979
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,360
Speaker 2: And then there's also this conversation about the butterfly hug

980
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 2: and then also being a burrito.

981
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 3: I've heard of that one burrita.

982
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 2: Like it, but like they were using this during a

983
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,879
Speaker 2: time where people really felt like they were missing out,

984
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 2: and how it could be really really helpful in these

985
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 2: like interesting, very very typical touch methods, breathing methods and

986
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 2: helping you to cope through not being able to have

987
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 2: physical touch, which some people need. Yeah, well, you know

988
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 2: what I think everyone needs, just some people that need

989
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:55,680
Speaker 2: it a lot more.

990
00:54:55,520 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 1: Excessive, right, yeah, or just needed a lot more so.

991
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 2: I said excessively. I guess you know where I land.

992
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 2: But again, with all of that, there can be downsides

993
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 2: when we talk about self clothing, as we talked about

994
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 2: earlier and many times throughout that the beginning of these

995
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 2: habits can be borderline addictive obsessive, such as the unhealthy

996
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 2: eating habits, drug and alcohol consumption. Calming yourself so like

997
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 2: being able to stem, is great, but if it goes

998
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:28,080
Speaker 2: excessive to truly harming yourself, that's a whole different level

999
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 2: as well. And there are several groups who have recommended toolkits,

1000
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:35,839
Speaker 2: an actual toolkit that you can get, or you can

1001
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 2: create yourself, or you can get with the help of

1002
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 2: a therapist that helps self soothe. And here's the suggestion

1003
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 2: from University of Miami. They say one way to require

1004
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:47,880
Speaker 2: self soothing skills is to create a toolkit. The box

1005
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 2: might include objects or reminders of how to soothe all

1006
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 2: five senses. Comforting smells such as scented candles, essential oils

1007
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 2: or body loution, pleasant tastes such as herbal teas or

1008
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 2: favorite snacks. Soothing things to touch such as favorite sweaters,

1009
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 2: rap or stress ball, comforting sites such as photos of

1010
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,839
Speaker 2: loved ones, pets, or favorite places. And soothing sounds as

1011
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:13,359
Speaker 2: a favorite piece of music or guided meditation track. When

1012
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:19,240
Speaker 2: I was getting really really isolated and getting filling antsy

1013
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 2: because I was stuck in the house during the pandemic,

1014
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:23,879
Speaker 2: like we couldn't go anywhere. I was like, I would

1015
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: actually turn on videos of scenic views with bubbling brooks,

1016
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 2: very loudly with a window open, Like I had to

1017
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 2: do that for myself because I was going to start crazy.

1018
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

1019
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 1: It's interesting because I remember I read something during the

1020
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 1: pandemic which was like, if you're an extrovert, because everybody

1021
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:50,840
Speaker 1: was worried about those extroverts during the pandemic, turn on

1022
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 1: put on photos of what you used to do.

1023
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 3: That was mistake.

1024
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 1: But what I would say word for me was I

1025
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 1: like I would put on like a background, yeah, and

1026
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,360
Speaker 1: I would put on new music.

1027
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 3: I loved that, and I would try to like make

1028
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 3: new foods. So I do think, like, I.

1029
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 1: Think this is a great idea, but also tailor it

1030
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,200
Speaker 1: to yourself, because I think there are some ways that

1031
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 1: I remember looking at pictures of me and my friends

1032
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 1: and just being like this is not I'm just sad

1033
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:27,479
Speaker 1: I can't see them right.

1034
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 2: Someone that does not do well. It's kind of like

1035
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 2: when I want to plan for a trip, and I'm like,

1036
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 2: I want to go to these places and they're like

1037
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 2: I can't.

1038
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, And obviously it's different now we're not in a pandemic,

1039
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 5: so I can go see my friends. It doesn't have

1040
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 5: the same weight of being like I can't see them

1041
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:47,240
Speaker 5: right now. But yeah, definitely take it, tailor it to

1042
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 5: your what you need.

1043
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:51,840
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah. And there are some other suggestions that they

1044
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 2: give you from wondermind dot com in which they say,

1045
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 2: make breathing a thing. So we've talked about box breathing,

1046
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:01,880
Speaker 2: different techniques and breathing. For me, sometimes breathing too much

1047
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 2: as me panic attack. So I don't do that necessarily.

1048
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 2: I just take one very deep breath and sigh and

1049
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 2: do that weird mummy groan which Annie used to make

1050
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 2: fun of before. Yeah, I still do it sometimes. It

1051
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 2: came out recently and I forgot take a walk mission.

1052
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 2: So they talked about like finding places to go. She

1053
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 2: specifically talks about getting yourself, like go find a flower,

1054
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 2: go get to this thing, or walk to this part

1055
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 2: to get a snack or something. Do it safely. Of

1056
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 2: course again blanket burrito mode, I love that. I'd like,

1057
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 2: I don't like that because I don't like to be suffocated,

1058
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 2: but a lot of people need that space. So you know,

1059
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 2: I have you screamed burrito me before when I felt

1060
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,400
Speaker 2: like I was too anxious and so he would just

1061
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 2: roll me up in a blanket. That's weird, isn't it.

1062
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:48,520
Speaker 2: That's a weird comment, But you know it worked.

1063
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 3: You know what.

1064
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 1: I saw somebody do this at dragon Con. We've talked

1065
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:57,040
Speaker 1: about how Dragon Con can be overwhelming, and I saw

1066
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 1: we saw somebody assuming this is what she was doing, but.

1067
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 5: She just wrapped herself up in a blanket like a burrito.

1068
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, she needs a moment.

1069
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:11,120
Speaker 2: She needs a moment a little buddy, and they talk

1070
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 2: about like move in whatever way feels good to you, dance,

1071
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 2: don't dance, jump, scream, roll out. Sometimes a good scream

1072
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 2: is nice. Do something mindless, a puzzle. A puzzle is

1073
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 2: really great, like really've gotten into those lately. There's so

1074
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 2: many things that.

1075
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:26,920
Speaker 3: You could do.

1076
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,440
Speaker 2: And once again, there is the plus and there is

1077
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:34,160
Speaker 2: the negative, in which you have to be aware that

1078
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 2: any extreme can be dangerous, and sometimes being too isolated

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00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 2: is dangerous. Yep, they say it's a look upon to space.

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00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 2: Obviously there's a lot to this conversation, and I did,

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00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 2: like I said, interchange the terms of like comfort habits,

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00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 2: which doesn't exist. I made that one up apparently, and

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00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, well it should be. But anyway,

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00:59:56,880 --> 01:00:00,560
Speaker 2: comfort habits and self soothing get it could such a

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01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 2: big conversation when to talk about what that looks like,

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01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 2: what could be dangerous for some people? Taking a walk

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01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 2: could be dangerous for some people. Running we know can

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01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:12,320
Speaker 2: be dangerous for groups of people, but we're not necessarily

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01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 2: focused on that. But again, these are so many subjects

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01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 2: that we could talk to. Don't worry, I'm sure we're

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01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 2: going to revisit some of these specific topics at hand.

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01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 2: And of course we would love to hear about your

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01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 2: comfort habits. What do you do? What are your comfort foods?

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01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 2: Have you gotten into making sourdough? Do you love sourdough bread?

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01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 2: Someone tell me how to make a sourdough mix?

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01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 1: Please, someone tell Samantha to do it, because then I

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01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 1: get to try some hopefully, Yes, listeners, we would love

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01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:46,840
Speaker 1: to hear from you about this. You can email us

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01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 1: at Hello at stuff Onnever Told You dot com. You

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01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 1: can also find us on blue Sky. I'm a stuff

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Speaker 1: podcasts on Instagram and TikTok at Stuff One Never Told You.

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Speaker 1: We're also on YouTube. We have a new place to

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Speaker 1: get merch Cotton Bureau, and we have a book you

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Speaker 1: can get wherever you get your books. Thanks as always

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01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:04,320
Speaker 1: to our super producer Christina, Executive us TO and a

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01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 1: contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for listening

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01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:09,480
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