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Speaker 1: Call from Lily.

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Speaker 2: Hello, h what is your uh Lily, Lily, what's going on? Lily?

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Speaker 2: How can I get you today?

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Speaker 1: I need some advice on a like relationship issue that

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Speaker 1: I've been having.

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Speaker 2: Okay, how old are you, Lily?

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty three.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I mean I'll try my best. Dude, all these

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Speaker 2: relationship calls, I fucking don't know what I'm talking about,

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Speaker 2: but go ahead.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no worries. So my boyfriend recently quit his

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Speaker 1: job and he he kind of like ultimately wants to

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Speaker 1: be like a stay at home figure kind of uh.

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Speaker 1: And I don't mind that I make enough at my

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Speaker 1: job that like, that's not really an issue. But my

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Speaker 1: issue is that he won't like clean or keep up

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Speaker 1: with any other like household related stuff while he's also

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Speaker 1: at home.

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Speaker 2: Dude, hold on, hold on, hold on. Your boyfriend quit

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Speaker 2: his job so that you could bankroll him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, not not necessarily. We've we've been together for

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Speaker 1: more than a few years at this point.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what do you mean not necessarily.

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Speaker 1: Uh, it's it's kind of been like a pre established

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Speaker 1: thing of like the direction we directions, like we want

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Speaker 1: to go in our lives. And I kind of always

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Speaker 1: aspired to make enough money to support myself and the

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Speaker 1: people around me. If that makes sense, look like it's yeah.

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Speaker 2: Hold on, So when you say not necessarily, tell tell

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Speaker 2: me tell me exactly what that means, because it sounds

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Speaker 2: like you're friend quit his job so that you could

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Speaker 2: bankroll them.

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Speaker 1: Well, no, it's I mean okay, kinda yeah, I guess maybe.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so your boyfriends quit his job so that you

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Speaker 2: could bankroll them?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 2: Are you financially supporting your boyfriends?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Now tell me why, Like why was that so

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Speaker 2: difficult for you to admit?

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Speaker 1: Because I'm in I'm in denial with myself a little

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Speaker 1: a little bit maybe. Okay.

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Speaker 2: How long have you been with your boyfriend?

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Speaker 1: About three years now?

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Speaker 2: Okay? What does he do for you while you bankroll him?

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Speaker 1: Well, he's to take care of the house and uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, like wandery and like you know, like homemaker

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Speaker 1: responsibilities per se.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean exactly? Take care of the house,

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Speaker 2: Like he's gonna like cook for you and clean the

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Speaker 2: house and what are the plants?

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Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, has he been doing those things?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 1: And that's the issue.

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Speaker 2: How old is your boyfriend?

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Speaker 1: He is also twenty three.

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Speaker 2: Okay, And when he said, Babe, I'm gonna quit my

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Speaker 2: job and take care of the plants, what did you say?

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Speaker 1: Ah, there's there's some box throw to it, but uh,

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Speaker 1: at that point I was alright with it and understanding

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Speaker 1: of it. It's it's been like a pretty difficult couple

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Speaker 1: of years for him in general. His father passed like

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Speaker 1: kind of suddenly fairly recently, and he lost a couple

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Speaker 1: of their close family members in relation to that in

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Speaker 1: like a short period of time. And yeah, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: teaching some support when we met. I also needed a

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Speaker 1: lot of support. I was homeless when we met, and

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Speaker 1: he kind of like helped me through that.

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Speaker 2: So it kind of liked so there was a period

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Speaker 2: of time where he was financially supporting you. Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 2: And when you say take care of the house, I mean,

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Speaker 2: do you guys have a kid together?

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Speaker 1: No? We have like cats, but definitely no.

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Speaker 2: Okay, listen, dude, I don't want to get into what

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Speaker 2: why can't he work a job by himself?

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Speaker 1: And I guess question.

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Speaker 2: There's this dude, I've been very inspired lately. There's this guy.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna shout this guy out. There's this dude on YouTube.

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Speaker 2: His name is Caleb Hammer, and he does these I don't.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea why people agree to go hunt

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Speaker 2: on his show because it's just him yelling at them.

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Speaker 2: And I've been watching and I'm like, should I should

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Speaker 2: yell at people more a little bit? So I'm inspired

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Speaker 2: by him and I'm not gonna yell at you. But dude,

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Speaker 2: so this guy, I mean, if this dude quit his

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Speaker 2: job so that you could bankroll him and he's not

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Speaker 2: even doing like the bare minimum of what he said

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Speaker 2: he would do as a problem. Yeah, and plus, you

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Speaker 2: guys are only twenty three, like he should. He should

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Speaker 2: desire to have his own life at twenty three and

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Speaker 2: not beginning bankrolled by you. And you also at twenty

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Speaker 2: three should be like financially like setting yourself up in

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Speaker 2: it to be in a good position, instead of bankrolling

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend who's not even taken care of his minor responsibilities.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree that that is fair.

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Speaker 2: So why are you doing this?

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Speaker 1: Uh? Again, I don't know. Generally, I feel like financially

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Speaker 1: comfortable enough to do it, and I also feel like, again,

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Speaker 1: like some of it's kind of tied back to how

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Speaker 1: much he helped me out, like when I was homeless

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Speaker 1: when we first met and kind of how all that

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Speaker 1: played out.

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Speaker 2: I mean, do you want to? I mean, you know,

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Speaker 2: there's another thing I like by kayleb Haanmer's show. He

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Speaker 2: gets into specifics. Do you want to get into specifics?

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Speaker 2: Like like, you don't have to tell me how much

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Speaker 2: money you make if you don't want to, but you're

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Speaker 2: you say you're making enough to support two people?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, yes, it's close to like like one hundred

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Speaker 1: to one years.

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Speaker 2: And where do you live?

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Speaker 1: Uh, Denver, Colorado?

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Speaker 2: Okay, I still think that, you know what, I've been trying.

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Speaker 2: You know what, dude, I've been trying really hard because

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Speaker 2: I feel like the whole point of my show sometimes

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Speaker 2: is like I'm just gonna stay neutral while people tell

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Speaker 2: me stuff. But I can't. I can't keep doing that. Dude.

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Speaker 2: What you can't bankroll your boyfriend? You can't do that?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, that's fair.

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Speaker 2: I mean do I mean again, and the read I

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Speaker 2: don't feel good saying that because it's your fucking life.

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Speaker 2: You do whatever you want. But if you're calling me

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Speaker 2: and you're asking me what I think about the situation,

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Speaker 2: I think it's a horrible idea.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I understand. So so from here, should I

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Speaker 1: perhaps like set up a conversation about different expectations and

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Speaker 1: terms of that, like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, yeah, yeah, tell him, by the way, by

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Speaker 2: the way, I mean this, if you love this guy.

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Speaker 2: Do you love this guy?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah it is.

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Speaker 2: Do you want him to have a good life? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: then tell him to get a fucking job and build

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Speaker 2: his own life and not have be on your payroll,

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Speaker 2: because that's what's gonna make his life better more than

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Speaker 2: you paying for him to exist.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, that's fair. I would agree with that.

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Speaker 2: Okay, anything else about this situation.

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Speaker 1: And not not this one specifically, if if you need

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Speaker 1: to get onto another color, I understand.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: If you want to hear about my mom, that's also

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Speaker 1: something exciting, but.

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Speaker 2: I'm time to hear. I'm down to hear about your mom.

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Speaker 2: What's up with your mom? I'm on a roll right now,

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Speaker 2: by the way, So I might tell your mom to

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Speaker 2: go fuck herself or congratulations. I don't know what the

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Speaker 2: situation is, but go ahead.

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Speaker 1: I mean I would say go fuck herself, like with

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Speaker 1: her mom. So also kind of connected to this growing

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Speaker 1: up My mom initially was a great mom. My dad

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Speaker 1: kind of kind of peaced out when I was like

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Speaker 1: fourteen or so, moved to another state suddenly, and then

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Speaker 1: my mom kind of lost her shit completely and started

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Speaker 1: doing a lot of coke and other nefarious substances, and

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Speaker 1: it spiraled a lot of shit out of control for

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Speaker 1: a minute, and I ended up moving out at a

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Speaker 1: young age. Hence kind of my predicament. When I first

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Speaker 1: met my boyfriend and then we got together, and then

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Speaker 1: my mom showed him at my door one day and

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Speaker 1: we ended up talking and I let her move in,

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Speaker 1: which wasn't the best idea in hindsight. We had a

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Speaker 1: one bedroom apartment at the time, and she ended up

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Speaker 1: crashing on the couch in the living room. And she

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Speaker 1: was sober when she first moved in, started raising substances

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Speaker 1: about like halfway through in the like month or two

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Speaker 1: or so, and we're fairly certain she tried to poison us.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, she tried to poison you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so I guess some content text on that

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Speaker 1: we didn't. We never have like tea or sugar or

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Speaker 1: anything in the house usually, like at that point in

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Speaker 1: our lives, we were like living off dollar store food

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Speaker 1: for the most part, but like first apartment, everything like

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Speaker 1: getting established from from ground zero, you know, we didn't

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Speaker 1: have like tea anything like that. Came home from work

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Speaker 1: one day and she had made sweet BlackBerry tea and

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Speaker 1: it was like very dark purple, almost black, and she

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Speaker 1: was like, hey, guys, like I made I may tell

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Speaker 1: us them like some sweet tea would really appreciate if

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Speaker 1: y'all have. I had some of it, like I'm really

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Speaker 1: proud of it, really like pushing us to drink the tea.

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Speaker 1: I had about like a half tip of it, and

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Speaker 1: then I ended up spinning it into the scene because

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Speaker 1: it was like so unbelievably sweet that it it just

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Speaker 1: like I I spit it out. It was like gross.

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Speaker 1: And we didn't again, like still didn't have any like

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Speaker 1: like black tea, sugar anything to make it like dark

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Speaker 1: blue purple or anything like that. And we're fairly certain

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Speaker 1: that there was uh ani freeze in it. My boyfriend

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Speaker 1: did end up drinking some of it because he thought

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Speaker 1: that it was just like an overreaction, and then he

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Speaker 1: ended up in the er for a couple of days

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Speaker 1: uh with very severe uh like kidney intestinal issues and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that. And then moving forward from that, my

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Speaker 1: mom just kept pushing buttons. Uh. His dad had recently

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Speaker 1: passed away, and she would call my ex husband on

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Speaker 1: speakerphone and tell him how like his dad must have

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Speaker 1: been a piece of shit for like raising somebody like that,

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Speaker 1: which was completely unwarranted and uh because obviously like she

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Speaker 1: had never like met him or anything like that at

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Speaker 1: that Like ever, it was like simply to push buttons

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Speaker 1: and be rude. So we asked her to leave, and

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Speaker 1: she refused to leave, and we eat like we both

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Speaker 1: smoke weed, you know, And the day before we were

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Speaker 1: supposed to move out, she packed me a bowl and

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Speaker 1: had me smoke it like have first hit off of it.

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Speaker 1: And I am pretty positive that she drugged me in

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Speaker 1: that process.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, all right, all right, poison me wants shame

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Speaker 2: on you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean yeah, it sounds like easy like

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Speaker 1: that when I when it's laid out like that, But

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Speaker 1: through the process of it, it was very uh. And

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Speaker 1: it's your mom too, you know, like I really want

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Speaker 1: to think the best of her, But.

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Speaker 2: That did you find out whether or not she I

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Speaker 2: feel like we glossed over that a bit too quickly.

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Speaker 2: Did you find out whether or not that was anti freeze.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty positive that it was, because nothing else makes sense,

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Speaker 1: and she She's definitely the type of person to do

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Speaker 1: such a thing, I think.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So where are you at with your mom right now?

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Speaker 2: Is she? What's the deal?

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Speaker 1: So I've been no contact with her for about a

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Speaker 1: year at this point. Ye, and it's been really nice.

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Speaker 2: I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry to hear that. By

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Speaker 2: the way, that's that's really awful.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's life, you know, like character building

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Speaker 1: experiences or something.

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Speaker 2: I have think sasaidia, But go go ahead.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Uh. Again, it's just a difficult thing.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I want to talk to her. She

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Speaker 1: keeps getting new numbers and trying to contact me, and

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Speaker 1: I keep walking her on them and not speaking. But

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Speaker 1: I want, I want to believe that she would change

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Speaker 1: for the better or or so forth. But I I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Like she she's my mom, but also like

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Speaker 1: given past experiences, I'm not sure what to do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, can you can you forgive somebody for poisoning you?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know, man, that's uh, that's fucking crazy.

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Speaker 2: That's really, really, really fucking crazy. I mean she should

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Speaker 2: be in jail for that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah she Yeah, she's a tricky person.

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Speaker 2: Lily. Can I ask you, aside from your mom and

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend, who who else do you have in your life?

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Speaker 2: Do you have friends?

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Speaker 1: I have some friends, but but they're back in my hometown.

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, So who's in Denvers?

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Speaker 2: It just you and your boyfriend?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, my.

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Speaker 1: Dad lives fairly close by, but we're obviously not very close.

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Speaker 2: Are you and your dad aren't cool?

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Speaker 1: We're trying to be cool, but it's it's not necessarily

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Speaker 1: like comfortable.

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Speaker 2: M Do you want to go into detail about that

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Speaker 2: or not?

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Speaker 1: I can nothing specific? Sorry, what we're gonna say? Uh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: nothing specific. I moved out here after leaving my my

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Speaker 1: ex and kind of like re established close to family

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Speaker 1: in just in case, and then we recently started talking

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Speaker 1: again and we're trying to be cool. He's trying to

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Speaker 1: again like help me, like set me up and make

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Speaker 1: better decisions for my foreseeable future, but also kind of

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Speaker 1: awkward because he I feel like he's trying to be

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Speaker 1: a dad, but like a little a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Too late, Lily. So okay, so it's you and your dad,

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Speaker 2: So it's you and your dad. Okay, so do you

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Speaker 2: I mean, do you have a social life outside of

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend and your family?

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Speaker 3: Not?

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Speaker 1: Really? I work on average like fifty to sixty hours

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Speaker 1: a week.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what do you do?

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Speaker 1: By the way, I'm a dog groomer.

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Speaker 2: You're a dog groomer. Do you work for yourself or

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Speaker 2: do you work for a company?

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Speaker 1: I work for a company, Lily.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you're a very very very sweet person. And I

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Speaker 2: really admire the fact that you have gone through so

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Speaker 2: much adversity in your life and seem to have not

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Speaker 2: only put yourself in a position where you're financially doing well,

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Speaker 2: but more important than that, put yourself for the position

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Speaker 2: where your perspective is also really good, you know. And

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Speaker 2: so I admire that a lot, and I and I

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Speaker 2: want you. I beg you to take all the extra

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Speaker 2: money that you're earning from your job that you're using

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Speaker 2: to support your boyfriend and fucking buy a house, invest it,

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Speaker 2: put it in a savings account, do fucking anything except

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Speaker 2: for use it to bankroll your boyfriend. Please.

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Speaker 5: You.

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Speaker 2: You have gone through a lot in life, and you

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Speaker 2: deserve to set yourself up for a very nice rest

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Speaker 2: of your life. And after you know, giving yourself to

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Speaker 2: your mom and giving yourself to your boyfriend, and giving

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Speaker 2: yourself to all these other things, please start to make

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Speaker 2: decisions in your life that benefit you because you deserve it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if anyone, I don't know if you

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Speaker 2: have anyone that will tell you that, but you know,

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Speaker 2: hear it from the frog guy from the internet that

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Speaker 2: you deserve to make some decisions that benefit you in

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Speaker 2: your life.

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Speaker 5: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate it a lot.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Jesus Christ. How long have you been grooming dogs?

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Speaker 1: For about a year now. I've been working with dogs

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Speaker 1: for two years or so, but trimming and stuff about

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Speaker 1: a year.

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Speaker 2: What's your like if you can, I'm very curious if

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Speaker 2: you could do anything like if imagine any kind of

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Speaker 2: a life for yourself. What would it look like.

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Speaker 1: Being a veterinarian for like large farm animals on like farms,

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Speaker 1: like horses, cows, got stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: M hm. Did you go to college?

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Speaker 1: I almost got my degree. I'm five or so credits away.

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Speaker 1: But life got kind of crazy and I took a

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Speaker 1: little break.

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Speaker 2: Okay. Can I ask why you took a.

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Speaker 1: Break because of my leaving my ex, divorce and such Okay.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like so you're yeah, you're you mentioned an

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Speaker 2: next husband. Yeah, okay, and I assume that didn't.

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Speaker 1: Go too well, not ideal?

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, Lily, Yes, do you want to go back

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Speaker 2: to school? Do you want to get your credits?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I would, Yeah, that's the goal, Lily.

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Speaker 2: Don't please don't let I don't know what your deals

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Speaker 2: with your current boyfriend, but don't fucking let And if

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Speaker 2: you're making enough money for you to go back to

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Speaker 2: school to do this thing, please don't spend it on

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend. Please don't get your boyfriend, your mom, your dad,

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Speaker 2: your ex husband, or anybody stop you from going back

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Speaker 2: to school and getting those credits.

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Speaker 1: Will do, thank you?

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right? Is there anything else you want to

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Speaker 2: want to talk about her say to the people of

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Speaker 2: the computer before we go, Uh?

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Speaker 1: Nothing specifically. I hope everyone has an awesome night and

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Speaker 1: a happy memorial.

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Speaker 2: To take care, Lily, have a good rest of the night,

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Speaker 2: you little goodbye. What a tough what a tough racket,

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Speaker 2: What a tough racket? And you could just hear in

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Speaker 2: that girl's voice, how how she's she's really a sweet person?

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Speaker 2: Who I mean between everything right, between my fucking mom

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00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 2: tried to kill me. Should I should I should I

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Speaker 2: let her back into my life? You know, I want

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00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 2: to support my boyfriend just like the sound of a

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Speaker 2: person who like it seems as though it's been spending

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Speaker 2: her whole life like trying to do things for other people.

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Speaker 2: I hope she hears. I hope she fucking listens to

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Speaker 2: me and decides to fuck all those people and do

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Speaker 2: something like you know, I quit my just going to

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Speaker 2: school because of my ex husband. Just someone who's been

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Speaker 2: doing things for other people her whole life. Please, Dear God,

355
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 2: don't give your fucking piece of shit boyfriend another penny

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Speaker 2: and go back to school and do your own thing

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Speaker 2: and make decisions for your own life. Please. I've been

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Speaker 2: talking about this a lot on this on this show,

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Speaker 2: on this podcast recently. Is the idea of like a

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Speaker 2: lot of life being perspective, and it's something it's a

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Speaker 2: recurring theme I noticed as I'm talking to people, because again,

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Speaker 2: like Lily, like her mom tries to kill her, her

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Speaker 2: ex husband fucks up her dreams. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: that's exactly what happened, but whatever, she's getting leeched off

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Speaker 2: of by this guy, and yet just maintains a really sweet,

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Speaker 2: positive demeanor, and I respect the hell out of that.

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Speaker 2: I think that she deserves to have a life where

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Speaker 2: she's serving herself. And I really, I literally. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if you can hear this or if you listen

370
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 2: to the show, but please I call back call back

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00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,640
Speaker 2: text in, whether it's a month from now, a year

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00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 2: from now, a week from now, whatever, or callback text in.

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Speaker 2: I want to hear an update on this. Thanks for Colin,

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00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,000
Speaker 2: Thanks for sharing your story. Attention listeners of the Therapy

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00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 2: Gecko podcast. Do you know that I do a live

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00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 2: version of this podcast on stage in person, in front

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00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 2: of real people, and that I'm doing this live show

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00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 2: in several cities across the United States this year, and

379
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 2: that tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot

380
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 2: com or at the link in the episode description. It

381
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 2: is all true. I'm currently on my third tour doing

382
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 2: Therapy Gecko live all around the country and it is

383
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 2: the most fun, sick, amazing thing ever and you should

384
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 2: come out and be a part of it. The shows

385
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 2: involve a mix of material and presentations from myself combined

386
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 2: with a group Gecko therapy session where members of the

387
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,880
Speaker 2: audience come on stage to share things from their lives

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00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,439
Speaker 2: in front of a big group of people, just like

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00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 2: we do here on the podcas Cast. Whether you're a

390
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,719
Speaker 2: fan of the podcast or you have no idea what

391
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 2: this is and you clicked on it by accident, you're

392
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 2: gonna have a great time at the live show once again.

393
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 2: Tickets are available right now at therapy Gecko tour dot

394
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 2: com or at the link in the episode description. These

395
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 2: are really fun shows. They're always wild, they're always unpredictable,

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00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 2: and I hope to see you guys there.

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Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, hey Lyle, how are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm doing all right? Brother? What's your name?

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Speaker 1: Uh?

400
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Speaker 3: You call me art Art? Yeah?

401
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 2: Like uh for for Arthur, like art like Art Garfuncle.

402
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, you could just call me Arthur.

403
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna actually I'm gonna call you Garfunkle, Garfunkley.

404
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 2: Your delayed response indicates to me that you don't like

405
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Speaker 2: being called Garfuncle.

406
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Speaker 3: What makes you say that.

407
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Speaker 2: Because you delayed your response?

408
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 3: Okay, I think you're right.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you don't like being called a Garfunckle.

410
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 3: No, you can call me anything else, I think.

411
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 2: All right, do you want me to call you anything else.

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00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 2: I should just I could make this. I could make

413
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 2: this a lot easier for both you and me if

414
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 2: I just called you by the name that you told

415
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 2: by your actual name, call you by your name. That's

416
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 2: that movie.

417
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 3: I haven't seen it.

418
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 2: Have you seen? Okay? It's about so there. It's about

419
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:33,360
Speaker 2: these two guys in love and the whole the whole

420
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 2: idea of calling somebody by your name. It's like like like,

421
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 2: if I'm in love with someone and I call them Lyle,

422
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 2: that never made any sense to me. There's a scene

423
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 2: where they're both calling each other by their own name.

424
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Speaker 2: What does that mean to call someone by your name?

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Speaker 1: Why?

426
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 2: Arthur? What would you like to talk about today? How's

427
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 2: it going? You texted me and you said, and you said,

428
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 2: I want to talk about my illegal restaurant. Somebody should

429
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 2: know what the deal is, somebody, and maybe in the

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00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 2: YouTube comments, if somebody knows what was going on with

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00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 2: the call me by your name thing? Like why do

432
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 2: they call each other by their own names? If someone

433
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 2: in the YouTube comments give an explanation for that? What's

434
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 2: your what's this restaurant?

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00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 1: So?

436
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 4: I'm a chef. I've been in the food and beverage

437
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 4: industry for like six years now, and my last job

438
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 4: was the longest I've ever stayed out of place for

439
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 4: and I had a head chef position there.

440
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Speaker 3: It was a really small spot.

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Speaker 4: We would serve like probably forty eight to fifty people

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Speaker 4: a night, and it was just me and one other

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00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 4: guy basically back in the kitchen. And that kind of

444
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 4: fell through because of just some shitty decisions by the

445
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 4: owner and stuff that I began to not want to

446
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 4: deal with anymore, and I quit, and shortly after I quit,

447
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 4: the place closed down and took like a month off

448
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 4: of work. And afterwards I tried looking for like a job,

449
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 4: like a sue chef position somewhere, and went around to

450
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 4: like twenty five different restaurants that had an active to

451
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 4: chef position open, and all of them wanted to, you know,

452
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 4: kind of fucked me over.

453
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 3: There's like a.

454
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 4: Ploy in the industry where if you're trying to go

455
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 4: straight ahead to a higher position, they'll kind of keep

456
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 4: you on for about a month and they'll just keep

457
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 4: you at a line cook position with line cook pay

458
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 4: while you're trying to prove your chops to whoever is

459
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 4: higher you for that higher position. And that's basically what

460
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 4: I got, you know, for about so two three months.

461
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 2: So this restaurant, this is illegal restaurant? Is this your restaurant?

462
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 4: Yeah?

463
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 5: Why?

464
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 2: How is how is it? How is it illegal?

465
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 3: Well, it's because, uh it's run out of a home.

466
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 2: You run a restaurant out of your home? Yeah, what

467
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 2: kind of restaurant is it?

468
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 4: Uh?

469
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 3: It's kind of hard to explain.

470
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 4: But the best way I can explain it is just

471
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 4: it's a tasting men your restaurant. I do ten courses

472
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 4: at night MAXI amount of people I could take in

473
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 4: is like ten people. But the food, the best way

474
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 4: I can explain it is just like it's modern food,

475
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 4: like you could you could consider it new American, meaning

476
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 4: like it's globally influenced. Just doesn't like take from Italian

477
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 4: or Japanese or whatever.

478
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, what do.

479
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 2: You think about it? I kind of want to do

480
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 2: the same thing, but I just picked ten different lean

481
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 2: cuisines to put in the microwave for people.

482
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 4: You know what's crazy is that just the other day

483
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 4: I saw a real like Instagram post about a dude

484
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 4: who bought like a plate of food from a guy

485
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 4: for like twenty dollars have you seen that like on

486
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 4: like Facebook.

487
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 2: Now market he bought he bought it. He bought a

488
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 2: plate a food from a guy on Facebook marketplace.

489
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, he bought a plate of food from a guy.

490
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 4: And what was displayed on the post was like really nice,

491
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 4: like boneless buffalo wings and uh, it looked like homemade fries.

492
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 4: And when the guy went and got it and he

493
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 4: came back home, he opened up the foil, it was

494
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 4: there's dino nuggets tossed in buffalo sauce.

495
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 2: You're acting like that's not fine cuisine right there.

496
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, it's debatable, but features on what's.

497
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 2: Your favorite dish from your tasting taste thing from your

498
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 2: tasting menu.

499
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 3: I think it has to be.

500
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 4: The It's called a passivier, And what a pacivier is

501
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 4: is basically, traditionally, it's this short crust pastry, so imagine

502
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 4: like pie dough, and in it it would have some

503
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 4: type of like sweetened almond paste in it. But in

504
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 4: different parts of France they do a savory filling instead.

505
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 4: And so I'm doing mine with a pork collar filling

506
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 4: that has like a green garlic in it and an

507
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 4: onion jam and smoked bacon, and it comes with a

508
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 4: charcoutier sauce. Yeah.

509
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 3: Bro, it's like a little Hi.

510
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 2: Where do you live? I'm coming? That sounds incredible?

511
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 3: Uh in La?

512
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 2: You live in La?

513
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 3: Yeah?

514
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 2: Can I come to your restaurant?

515
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 6: Yeah?

516
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 5: Of course?

517
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 2: Again, how much does it cost?

518
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,719
Speaker 4: So I still I'm I was actually I'm like crunching

519
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 4: numbers right now. I was watching your stream while doing

520
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,719
Speaker 4: so because I ran out of podcast to watch and

521
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 4: I saw that you were alive, and I was like,

522
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 4: oh shit, I should watch that. But like I said,

523
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 4: it's it's price per person, so you're looking upwards of

524
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 4: like two hundred two two fifty two fifty is really

525
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 4: really high end. But for two hundred for that amount

526
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 4: of money, you get ten plates, two of them being

527
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 4: in dessert. And there's also like a drink menu as well,

528
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 4: and a snack menu.

529
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 2: Wait, hold on, so it's ten plates of food? And

530
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:20,719
Speaker 2: is it is it unlimited drinks?

531
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 4: It's not unlimited drinks. You do have to pay for them.

532
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 2: Okay, Unfortunately. Is it just like a Is it just

533
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: like a diet coke from your refrigerator?

534
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 3: No?

535
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 4: No, No. When I when I say a drink menu, I

536
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 4: mean like cocktails and wine and beer and things like that.

537
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 2: What kind of snacks? That's kind of a funny idea

538
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: some but like, let's get a snack while we eat dinner.

539
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, so there's kind of a reason why that stack

540
00:33:52,000 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 4: menu exists. It's kind of like for the alcohol.

541
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 2: Oh sure, what to me? I mean, so that you

542
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,240
Speaker 2: can sell the alcohol. But okay, but if you're already

543
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:10,920
Speaker 2: here's the thing is, let me ask you this. If

544
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 2: it's already okay, I get it. The snack thing is

545
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 2: because of the alcohol makes it like slightly more legal, right.

546
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, because the way that I have the snackman, you're

547
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 4: set up is that a purchase of said snack, whatever

548
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 4: you want to get, comes with a complimentary cocktail.

549
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 2: But if you're already doing an illegal thing, why don't

550
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 2: you just go crazy with it?

551
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 3: I don't think that's the best thing to do.

552
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 2: It's not. It's a terrible idea. Don't listen to anything

553
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 2: I ever say. What's the best kind of snacks on

554
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 2: the menu? What's your favorite snack?

555
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 3: So I got marinated cassavatrono olives?

556
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 2: What the fuck? What did you just see?

557
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 3: Like green olives?

558
00:34:59,080 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: No?

559
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 2: No, no, you didn't say and you said a whole new word.

560
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, Castle with Toronto olive.

561
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 2: Okay, I've never heard of that.

562
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like the specific olive that comes from Italy.

563
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 3: They're really nice.

564
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: So who's your client tele Do you have a lot

565
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 2: of Do you have a lot of celebrities come through?

566
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:26,919
Speaker 3: No? No?

567
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 4: Well I think I should kind of butt in here

568
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 4: and say that I haven't opened yet and I'm planning

569
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 4: on opening this coming month.

570
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 2: What is opened mean? You just post your address on

571
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 2: the internet.

572
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 4: That's no, not that way. Basically, I have a newsletter

573
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 4: that's up on my website and you give your info

574
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 4: and you get an invitation basically, which is just a

575
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,280
Speaker 4: link that to make a reservation, like a private link.

576
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 2: That's pretty sweet. But how do people find out about

577
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 2: the newsletter at first?

578
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 4: So a lot of it's word of mouth, much like

579
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 4: how a lot of these things operate.

580
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 3: It's a very word of mouth.

581
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 4: But I I'm also going to be putting up flyers

582
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 4: all across LA. Actually got some printed today, which you know,

583
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 4: it's kind of very old school. It might not work,

584
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 4: might work method of advertising. I mean, who knows, you know.

585
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:39,440
Speaker 4: And I'm also planning I'm putting those flyers at shops

586
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 4: that I frequent with their consent of course, not just

587
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 4: like posting up business on another business. You know, that's

588
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 4: pretty cool and social media.

589
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 2: You know, do you have a calming voice? Do you

590
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:57,439
Speaker 2: do you read off the menu when people sit down?

591
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 2: Do you like you? Is part of the experience that

592
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 2: we to listen to you talk say new Italian words

593
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 2: that sound kind of made up while you explain each

594
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 2: of the plates.

595
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 4: So you know, it's funny that you bring that up,

596
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:23,800
Speaker 4: because I feel like with a lot of financing places,

597
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 4: you'll go there, you'll sit down, you know, if you're

598
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 4: not too knowledgeable about food, and you'll have some person.

599
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 4: Usually it's the person waiting you, and frankly they probably

600
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 4: don't know that well what they're serving you either. But

601
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 4: I kind of find that to be kind of too

602
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 4: much because I just kind of want to sit down

603
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 4: and eat. And so I'm planning on providing kind of

604
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 4: a little excerpt for each course that the guests can

605
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 4: read while they eat it if they want to.

606
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 2: That's cool. It's like you get a little sheet of paper,

607
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 2: right exactly. This is fun. I like this. I want

608
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 2: to do like my own version of it, except it's

609
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:20,359
Speaker 2: ten dollars and you get a lean cuisine, a bag

610
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 2: of Cheetos, and a diet coke from my fridge.

611
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 3: Hey, dude, people do that, you know?

612
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 2: Actually, you know what, you know what, I actually might

613
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 2: steal this idea not I mean, you know, you do

614
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 2: your fine dining version of it. But it's kind of

615
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 2: it is kind of cool, the idea of like, all right,

616
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 2: you have like a thing that you're only letting twenty

617
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 2: people in or ten people in at once, and they

618
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 2: have to make a reservation and it's word of mouth

619
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 2: and they get it off with like a newsletter. That's

620
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 2: kind of a cool. I just like that concept as

621
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 2: an entrepreneurial thing. I think that's really cool.

622
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 3: Is this the first time you're hearing about said concept?

623
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 2: I'm uh, it does. I mean, I maybe maybe.

624
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 4: The reason why I asked is because la Is I

625
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,919
Speaker 4: want to say, it's like the birthplace of this kind

626
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,320
Speaker 4: of a like ordeal.

627
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 3: But there's quite a lot of them.

628
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 2: Final question for an extra fifty dollars at the end

629
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 2: of the meal, can I sleep on your couch?

630
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:33,320
Speaker 5: Yeah?

631
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 4: You can.

632
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 3: There's a few of them. There's three.

633
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:37,240
Speaker 2: You have three couches.

634
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, So the way.

635
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 4: So I had a lot of money saved up for

636
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 4: my last job, and this is kind of like my

637
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 4: first impression.

638
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 3: M hmm. That's just like my own thing. M hm.

639
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 4: And so I really kind of built out the place

640
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 4: that I'm leasting out, like really.

641
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,439
Speaker 2: Really, well, what do you what do you rent?

642
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 3: And yeah, what's that?

643
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 2: What do you pay for rent?

644
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,879
Speaker 4: Like what is it?

645
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,399
Speaker 3: Thirty seven hundred.

646
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 2: Thirty seven hundred? Okay, I mean I guess that's that's

647
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 2: not that's not that's not that bad for a place

648
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,360
Speaker 2: that can that can fit three couches in Los Angeles.

649
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's a pretty big place.

650
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 2: But because because your business is illegal, you can't write

651
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 2: it off on your taxes.

652
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 4: Well, the thing is is that I am I'm still

653
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 4: taking tax into consideration. I will be charging people tax.

654
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 2: Because wait, hold on, you're charging people tax even though

655
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 2: you're not paying tax.

656
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,360
Speaker 4: No, I am going to be paying tax to the

657
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 4: I R S.

658
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 2: Why it's illegal, they don't even but aren't they going

659
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 2: to get mad at you? It's like it's like when

660
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 2: they tried to get cocaine dealers to pay taxes. Not

661
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 2: that you're dealing cocaine, but I means that's the same concept.

662
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,280
Speaker 4: That kind of still does eventually happen, like to some degree.

663
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 2: Right, I don't know. I've never dealt cocaine or paid taxes.

664
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 2: That's not true. I pay, I pay, I pay taxes.

665
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 4: Oh well, the reason why I'm doing that is because

666
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 4: I have like an actual like corporation, I tied to

667
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:43,240
Speaker 4: the business and what I because I couldn't have done

668
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 4: because like, how do I explain this? Sorry, I'm surprised

669
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 4: that you called me.

670
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 2: Is it a teared system? Where for fifty dollars I

671
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:55,919
Speaker 2: sleep on the shitty couch, one hundred dollars I sleep

672
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 2: on the good couch? How much for like a bed

673
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: for two hundred? For two hundred? How much money? All right?

674
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 2: For an extra two hundred dollars, can I make you

675
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 2: sleep on the couch and I get to sleep in

676
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 2: your bed?

677
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 3: Uh?

678
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 4: You know what?

679
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 3: I can pull out an air mattress for you?

680
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 2: No, no, no air. I want to sleep in where

681
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:22,399
Speaker 2: you sleep and you have to I want to make

682
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:26,359
Speaker 2: wait for an extra two hundred and fifty dollars, can

683
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 2: I sleep in your bed and make you sleep on

684
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 2: the air mattress?

685
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 3: Well, I don't have an air mattress. I would buy

686
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 3: or an.

687
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 2: Extra three hundred dollars. Can I make you sleep on

688
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 2: the air mattress, I sleep in your bed and I

689
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 2: get to use your toothbrush?

690
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 3: Okay, we'll do.

691
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:52,439
Speaker 5: Yeah?

692
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I think I'm gonna need to brush my

693
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 2: teeth after eating all this food, and I don't feel

694
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 2: like bringing my own toothbrush, so I would pay premium

695
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 2: to use yours.

696
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 3: I actually got this a new toothbrush recently. It's Japanese.

697
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 2: Does it vibrate?

698
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,399
Speaker 3: No? Should it?

699
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 2: I mean for an extra three hundred dollars, I think yeah.

700
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 4: Like, do you do you want me to build like

701
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,920
Speaker 4: a like a you do you like want me to

702
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 4: like duct tip a vibrator tour? Do you want me

703
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 4: to buy a whole new toothbrush that vibrates to use

704
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 4: it and then have you use it?

705
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 2: You know what? I'm just going to google to call

706
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 2: me by your name thing. I'm not gonna wait until

707
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 2: the the YouTube comments show up, because I don't know

708
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 2: why they did that art art. Good luck with this.

709
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:59,320
Speaker 2: This sounds fun, this sounds cool. I'm genuinely I'm excited

710
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 2: for you. I'm inspired by this.

711
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 4: Oh Lyoe, go ahead, thank you for the amazing kind words.

712
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 4: I really really of course, but I just wanted to

713
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 4: say something very clear. I hope this isn't coming off

714
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 4: of like some type of advertisement, because it legitimately was not.

715
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 2: No no no I I I asked, I asked, I asked,

716
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 2: I asked. I mean, I look, I don't care. Do

717
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 2: you want do you wanna? Do you want to tell

718
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 2: the people where they can find it?

719
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 3: I feel bad, I'll tell you what.

720
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, you can tell the people where you

721
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 2: found it. But when I'm in La, you gotta let

722
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 2: me use your toothbrush.

723
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 4: The side note, though, would you actually want to come

724
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 4: and eat?

725
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:49,879
Speaker 3: Eat?

726
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 2: Actually? I actually would? That would kind of cool?

727
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 3: And when will you be in La? Uh?

728
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:57,800
Speaker 1: In l A?

729
00:44:57,920 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 2: And I'll be in La in November?

730
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 3: Okay? Cool?

731
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 2: From my from my from my two therapy get Goo

732
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 2: Live shows at the Masonic Lodge.

733
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 4: Oh, no way, you're gonna be uh at the Masonic Lodge.

734
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be at the Masonic Lodge.

735
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 3: On Los Felis the probably Oh all right, well I'll try.

736
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 4: I'll try and get a ticket and swing buy and

737
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:30,799
Speaker 4: I'll show face and.

738
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 3: Remind you then.

739
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 2: Sweet man, Yeah, yeah, you can drop that. You can

740
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 2: drop the link to the newsletter if you if you

741
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 2: want to, but you do have to let me use

742
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 2: your toothbrush. And I do want to die coke from

743
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 2: your fridge. Those are the only two things I asked for.

744
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 4: Wait, do you do you like why diet cocain not

745
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 4: coke zero?

746
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 2: Do you want to do? Do you want to drop it

747
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 2: the link the thing or do you want to stay anonymous?

748
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 5: Yeah?

749
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, sure? All right? Uh here U it's E

750
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 3: s u r i O.

751
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:23,280
Speaker 2: Dot l a E furio l dot.

752
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 4: L a A serio E s u r I.

753
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 2: Oh oh, I thought that was I thought he was

754
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 2: an r E s u r I O.

755
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, E s u r i O.

756
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 2: Do your hello? Good at making up words?

757
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 4: No, that's real, that's a real Latin word.

758
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,919
Speaker 2: I would take a coke zero, but I would prefer

759
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 2: diet coke.

760
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 3: Is it the taste? All right?

761
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:54,800
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the

762
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?

763
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:03,920
Speaker 3: I just want to say thank you Lelle for calling

764
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 3: me back.

765
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 4: And finally responding to me, of course, and allowing me to.

766
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,800
Speaker 3: Be on your fantastic show for a brief moment.

767
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 4: And I hope the tour goes very well. Thanks man,

768
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,279
Speaker 4: and I hope you have a good night.

769
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 2: Thank you Allart. I was just thinking it would be

770
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 2: pretty funny if like I went to your house and ate,

771
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 2: like you know, you cooked for us all and all

772
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 2: that stuff, and then like I found out that you

773
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 2: actually had a rat under your hat the whole time

774
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 2: that was making you do all the cooking like in

775
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:48,240
Speaker 2: that movie.

776
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 4: So can you not mention the rat thing, because that's

777
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 4: kind of like the secret thing with how I'm able

778
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 4: to cook so well, And so I appreciate it if

779
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 4: you've cut this part from the pod.

780
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 2: Now we're going to keep it in Take care of Art,

781
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 2: Thank you.

782
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 5: Hold on, Gecko, what's up?

783
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 2: Gek Hey, what's up?

784
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:18,160
Speaker 5: Man?

785
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 2: Where are you right now? You've got people in the backgrounds.

786
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:26,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm at a car show at a bar. I

787
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 5: just walked out and I'm in the parking lot. So

788
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 5: it should be a lot quieter cool, all.

789
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,240
Speaker 2: Right, So you're at the parking lot of a car show.

790
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, right beside the bar.

791
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 2: Why what kind of car show?

792
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 5: Old timey cars. Got a lot of old sixties Mustangs, Chevyes,

793
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 5: all kinds of stuff here. It's out in Everett, Washington,

794
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 5: it's called cruising to Colby.

795
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,240
Speaker 2: What brings you there? Are you a connoisseur of wacky

796
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 2: races esque vehicles?

797
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 5: Yeah kind of. I'm just a car guy and it's

798
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 5: just it's something to do. So I don't like being,

799
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 5: you know, trapped in the house all the time. So

800
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 5: I decided to come out and see the cars as

801
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 5: they were getting lined up and ready for the show tomorrow.

802
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 5: It's a Memorial day show. So they all did a

803
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,840
Speaker 5: little like cruise around and started parking in their spots

804
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 5: and everything, and tomorrow was the actual show.

805
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 2: You're a little, uh bon vivant, aren't you. You're just

806
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 2: going to car shows. You're really living up life.

807
00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 5: I try, I definitely try, that's for sure. I can't.

808
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 5: I can't be stuck in my house. I gotta go

809
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,760
Speaker 5: out and I gotta do things.

810
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:40,239
Speaker 2: It's funny, so you texted me, you said you're.

811
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 3: Thirty nine, right, that's true.

812
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 2: I'm twenty six and I feel the same way. I

813
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 2: can't stay home in my fucking house. And I was like, okay,

814
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:53,320
Speaker 2: maybe it's just like I'm wondering if I'm going to

815
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 2: be this way forever.

816
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, so when I was that age, I

817
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 5: was the same way, and I just like, I felt like, dude,

818
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 5: I'm missing out on so much. I stay in my

819
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 5: house all the time. I need to go out and

820
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 5: I need to meet people. I need to get myself

821
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 5: out there. I need to go to events and everything.

822
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 5: Otherwise I'm just gonna rode away in my house and

823
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 5: I'm gonna drive myself crazy.

824
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 2: And have you been going out and doing things for

825
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 2: your entire life.

826
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 5: Then since about the age of twenty six twenty seven?

827
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:27,240
Speaker 3: Yeah?

828
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 2: Okay, so from until you were twenty six twenty seven,

829
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,280
Speaker 2: you were a kind of a homebody.

830
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 5: Yeah. I'd always sit at home and I'd play video

831
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,839
Speaker 5: games all day, all night. I typically would never leave

832
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 5: my house.

833
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 2: And nowadays, are you tired or are you still wanting

834
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 2: to leave your house all the time.

835
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 5: I am tired, yeah, thirty nine, but I still want

836
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 5: to leave the house all the time. I don't care.

837
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:55,680
Speaker 5: I have to get out. I'm a social butterfly.

838
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 2: Who do you hang out with these days?

839
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 3: Oh?

840
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 6: Well, usually my new boyfriend and my new girlfriend and

841
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,800
Speaker 6: whatever friends I can find hanging around downtown.

842
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 2: Whatever friends I can find hanging around downtown.

843
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 1: Tell you in.

844
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 5: I'm in Washington.

845
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 2: Washington is washing Washington's a state.

846
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:29,800
Speaker 5: Right, correct, not Washington d C. Washington state.

847
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 2: All right, So you're in what Seattle? Probably?

848
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 5: I'm a little north of Seattle, about thirty about a

849
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 5: thirty minute drive depending on traffic. If anyone is listening

850
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 5: from Seattle, they know how that can be. I'm up

851
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 5: in a town called Everett.

852
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 2: Everett is Everett Poppin', I mean, and they've got car shows.

853
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 2: That's cool.

854
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:51,799
Speaker 5: I think it's popping. A lot of my friends that

855
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 5: like to hang out in Seattle are like, oh no,

856
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 5: it's ever It's not that great, but I love it

857
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:56,919
Speaker 5: out here.

858
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,320
Speaker 2: So what's your name again?

859
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 5: Mike?

860
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 2: Mike? We can keep talking about ever written, car shows,

861
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 2: and life, but is there anything in particular you wanted

862
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:09,720
Speaker 2: to talk about this evening?

863
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 5: Yeah. So I'm recently divorced. I was in a relationship

864
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 5: for twelve years. It was super controlling. It was just

865
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 5: a really toxic thing, and I got out of it

866
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 5: about seven months ago. And I've been seeing a new guy.

867
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:32,719
Speaker 5: He's amazing. His name's Calvin, and I've been seeing his

868
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:36,479
Speaker 5: girlfriend Kat as well. And I've been doing this whole

869
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:41,879
Speaker 5: polyamorous relationship thing. And I'm very new to it, and

870
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:47,880
Speaker 5: I've got I've got issues with it because like anytime

871
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 5: I try, you know, talking to my guy Calvin, he's

872
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:55,839
Speaker 5: just he's really weird when it comes to texting and

873
00:52:55,920 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 5: talking and kind of cagey and I that's kind of

874
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 5: what I wanted to talk about.

875
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 2: Interesting because I was going to say, it sounds kind

876
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:06,880
Speaker 2: of like you were playing the Crane Machine and you

877
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 2: got double prizes.

878
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, basically, Yeah, I mean I met this guy and

879
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 5: you know, he told me that, you know, he's in

880
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 5: this polyamorous relationship, and I was like, hey, that's cool.

881
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 5: And then I met his girlfriend and she was hot,

882
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 5: and we all we all hooked up and we all

883
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 5: really meshed together quite nicely. So I see I see

884
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 5: her and I see him.

885
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:35,839
Speaker 2: Well, So I guess I'm curious first about the twelve

886
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:38,360
Speaker 2: year relationships. So you were okay, so you got with

887
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 2: her when you were like twenty six or whatever. And

888
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:44,919
Speaker 2: I don't know if that math works out, but who cares? Yeah,

889
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 2: And was it control? Was it controlling for the whole

890
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:51,240
Speaker 2: time or did it kind of escalate to that point?

891
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 5: It just kind of escalated to that point. It took me.

892
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,360
Speaker 5: It took me a few years to really kind of

893
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:00,359
Speaker 5: see it. I always kind of thought it was me though.

894
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 5: I always thought maybe there was something wrong with me

895
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 5: in the relationship. But as time went on, I realized, No,

896
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 5: this guy's just super freaking controlling.

897
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 2: What how did that control manifest itself?

898
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 5: Oh gosh, So like I wasn't allowed to have any friends. Basically,

899
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 5: all my friends had to be his friends. We couldn't

900
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 5: go out and do anything that I liked. We had

901
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:25,399
Speaker 5: to go out and do the things that he liked.

902
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 5: We couldn't go out to see my family for holidays.

903
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,800
Speaker 5: We had to go out only to see his family

904
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 5: for holidays. I was kind of trapped within his family.

905
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:39,960
Speaker 5: We weren't allowed kind of outside that circle basically. And yeah,

906
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 5: friends was a hard thing. Anytime I'd want to go

907
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:45,279
Speaker 5: out and hang out with friends, I was always kind

908
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 5: of told, No, you can't do that. You can't spend money,

909
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 5: you can't waste gas. What time are you going to

910
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 5: be back? How much money? No, you got to be

911
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 5: back at this time. No, you can't spend this money.

912
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 5: Things like that.

913
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 2: And have you always been polyamorous? So this is kind

914
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 2: of new thing.

915
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 5: Uh, this is kind of a new thing.

916
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, And how are you enjoying navigating it?

917
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 5: Well, I like the relationship and everything. It's that the

918
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 5: navigating has been a little tough. I mean, like I said, like,

919
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 5: whenever I try texting my guy Calvin, it's like so

920
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 5: like he'll text me in the morning, it's always like hey, handsome,

921
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 5: hey sexy, hey sweetie, or something like that, how are

922
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 5: you doing this morning, and things like that, and then

923
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,839
Speaker 5: I'll text him back, and then I won't hear things

924
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:36,359
Speaker 5: for hours, and then I'll finally get like a very

925
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 5: monosybelic like response back like okay or huh ooh stuff yea.

926
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 2: So well, it's kind of interesting You're going from somebody

927
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 2: who was kind of controlling you to somebody who you're

928
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:54,479
Speaker 2: feeling like you're not getting enough from.

929
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:59,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, kind of. I mean when I'm with him in person,

930
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm getting a lot from him because

931
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:06,200
Speaker 5: we I appreciate his company, I appreciate I love the

932
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:07,439
Speaker 5: sex and all of that.

933
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:10,120
Speaker 2: How long have you been How long have you been

934
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 2: with this guy for?

935
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 5: Since the beginning of April.

936
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 2: The beginning of April all, it's just been like a

937
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 2: couple months.

938
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,320
Speaker 5: It's it's been two months now.

939
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 2: I mean, look, man, different people have different communication styles. Uh,

940
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 2: do you prefer to be texting with somebody all throughout

941
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:31,399
Speaker 2: the day?

942
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:38,439
Speaker 5: I mean yes and no. I mean, like I work

943
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 5: in everything, and so it's not like I can be

944
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 5: texting constantly. It's just I feel like I just want

945
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:49,719
Speaker 5: something a little bit more than like a monosabilitic response

946
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,919
Speaker 5: like ooh or okay or yeah or something like that.

947
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:58,000
Speaker 5: Like I feel like I feel like he's not interested,

948
00:56:58,120 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 5: but then when I go and see him in person,

949
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 5: it's like, Oh, he's super interested. But outside of that,

950
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 5: I feel kind of like he's disinterested. So I don't know.

951
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,799
Speaker 2: So, Okay, have you talked to him about this?

952
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 5: Yeah? So his explanation was like, it's his anxiety, Like

953
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 5: he doesn't want to feel like he's obligated to text

954
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:21,080
Speaker 5: something back or something. Sometimes he just doesn't really know

955
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 5: what to say.

956
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:28,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and is what do you make of that?

957
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 5: I mean, in my past relationships, I've always gotten something

958
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 5: back that was seemingly a little more meaningful. So like

959
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 5: the way I think of it is, I get the

960
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,360
Speaker 5: feeling that he's disinterested in some of my things, or he.

961
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 2: Doesn't like, here's the thing you're not always gonna like

962
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 2: it's not in my opinion, when people tell you shit,

963
00:57:56,240 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 2: you take him a face value, you know what I mean. Yeah,

964
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:08,560
Speaker 2: like unless if somebody's like what, somebody might have the

965
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:12,280
Speaker 2: reasons to lie to you, but like ninety nine percent

966
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 2: of the time they're not. So if you're communicating with

967
00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 2: somebody and they say to you, I just don't want

968
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 2: this anxiety of feeling like I have to respond throughout

969
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 2: the day and all this, like, just believe them, you know,

970
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 2: especially especially if you're gonna do a polyamorous thing where

971
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 2: like he also has a girlfriend and he could have

972
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 2: three other boyfriends or whatever whatever, Like you know, when

973
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 2: you're with if he has this whole mentality of look, man,

974
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:41,840
Speaker 2: when I'm with you, I'm with you and we're doing

975
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 2: it and I will give you my attention. But when

976
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 2: I'm not, you know, I'm living my life, I'm doing

977
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,400
Speaker 2: my thing. You kind of you just have to believe

978
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 2: them and not take that as some sign of of

979
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:58,200
Speaker 2: of you being less, you know what I mean.

980
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:04,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, No, I definitely definitely see hat for sure, and no,

981
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:07,959
Speaker 5: just just for a little more you know, disclosure there.

982
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 5: You know, when we got into all of this, he

983
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,479
Speaker 5: had even said like, hey, I you know, I'm down

984
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 5: if you want to see other people, but I'm not

985
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 5: the only people that I really want to see our

986
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 5: cat and you. And I told him, no, I'm not

987
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 5: seeing anyone else but you and Cat, and so that's

988
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 5: kind of our circle.

989
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 2: Okay. So I don't know, man, I think it sounds

990
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 2: like you've attempted to work this out with him.

991
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:38,760
Speaker 5: I'm thinking too much into this, aren't I. That's my

992
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 5: whole thing, Like, I think maybe I'm thinking way too

993
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 5: much into this and I'm spiraling sometimes and then I

994
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,440
Speaker 5: have to kind of wake myself out of that and

995
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 5: be like, no, everything is cool, because otherwise he would

996
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 5: tell me. And I just saw him yesterday. We spent

997
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 5: the entire day together yesterday, had a wonderful time. I

998
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 5: told him, you know how happy that he makes me,

999
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:04,360
Speaker 5: and you know, he reciprocated that. And uh. But then

1000
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 5: like this morning, like I got his normal you know,

1001
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:09,479
Speaker 5: good morning, you know sunshine text Mike.

1002
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 2: Uh, yeah, have you if you want to get into

1003
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 2: some real therapy here, which I'm not inclined to give

1004
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 2: because I'm a dumbass and a gecko costume. But have

1005
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,160
Speaker 2: you ever heard of anxious attachment theory.

1006
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 5: I've never know what is that?

1007
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:29,600
Speaker 2: Okay, So I mean, go talk to a real therapist

1008
01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 2: about this, or you know, go look it up on

1009
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:35,800
Speaker 2: the internet. There's anxious, there's there's like relationship attachment styles.

1010
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:45,920
Speaker 2: There's secure, avoidant, and anxious, and anxious attachment is basically

1011
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:51,760
Speaker 2: kind of what you're describing where it's like, uh, you

1012
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 2: know what, kind of like anxiety that you're not enough

1013
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 2: for your partner or that your partner doesn't like you

1014
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 2: and you're just kind of always anxious about the relationship.

1015
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 2: Do you talk to a real therapist?

1016
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, I do. Actually, I've been seeing a therapist for

1017
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,080
Speaker 5: the past two years since my dad and brother died.

1018
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 2: What does your real therapist think about this?

1019
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:21,439
Speaker 5: She doesn't really give me too much insight. She knows

1020
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 5: that like I've been a thousand miles away from my

1021
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:27,040
Speaker 5: previous partner for years and years. All she really kind

1022
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 5: of says is you just need to be careful. You

1023
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 5: got out of this relationship, and I know you feel comfortable,

1024
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 5: but just be careful, is really all she tells me.

1025
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,440
Speaker 2: I agree, you know what, that sounds smart. That sounds smart.

1026
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 2: Next time you see her, ask her about the anxious attachment.

1027
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 5: Gotcha. Well, I see her on Wednesday, so that's perfect, okay.

1028
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 2: And I'm, by the way, I'm just no expert in

1029
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:53,720
Speaker 2: relationships at all. I really don't fucking know what I'm

1030
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:59,080
Speaker 2: talking about. But because you know, I've done some research

1031
01:01:59,120 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 2: on this stuff.

1032
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, I get that, and I've been listening to you

1033
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:07,480
Speaker 5: since December, and so I understand your position on everything.

1034
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 5: It's just sometimes it's just good to talk about it,

1035
01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:12,880
Speaker 5: and I don't really have anyone to talk about it with.

1036
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 5: So I was like, oh, I guess I'll ask Gek.

1037
01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:17,400
Speaker 2: Well, let's get it. I mean, why don't you have

1038
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:18,920
Speaker 2: anyone to talk about it with. I guess it's not

1039
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:19,760
Speaker 2: from your therapist.

1040
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I mean that that's that's that's the other thing.

1041
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 5: But I also feel a little weird sometimes because she's

1042
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:28,840
Speaker 5: always kind of like, well, you need to be careful.

1043
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:31,640
Speaker 5: You just got out of this relationship, you just finished

1044
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 5: up a divorce, and like I said, like you know,

1045
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 5: I was a million miles away from this person emotionally

1046
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:40,440
Speaker 5: for so long, and now here I am just trying

1047
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:43,640
Speaker 5: to enjoy life, and I just keep hearing you need

1048
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:45,919
Speaker 5: to be careful, you need to watch and watch.

1049
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:48,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, brou when did you when did you break

1050
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:51,080
Speaker 2: up with this relationship? When did you break up with

1051
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 2: this guy you were in a relationship with for twelve years?

1052
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:53,720
Speaker 2: How long ago?

1053
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:54,000
Speaker 3: It was?

1054
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 5: Back in back in November?

1055
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 2: All right, So you're pretty quick. I mean, I yeah,

1056
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 2: a few months is not that quick. Like, yeah, dude,

1057
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 2: I think your therapist is right, like, you know, be careful,

1058
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:09,760
Speaker 2: like don't don't hedge all your bets if anything, Just don't,

1059
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:13,480
Speaker 2: Like you know, relationships are supposed to be like good

1060
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 2: and fun and add value to your life. They're not

1061
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,920
Speaker 2: supposed to be this thing that you hedge your entire

1062
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:23,000
Speaker 2: fucking life upon, right, right, So just don't hedge your

1063
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:27,640
Speaker 2: entire fucking life upon this guy. Enjoy his presence in

1064
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 2: your life. It's weird. I have a problem with navigating

1065
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 2: relationships in the sense of it's so strange because I

1066
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 2: don't think it's healthy to hedge your whole life on

1067
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:48,920
Speaker 2: a relationship with someone. But also, if something is really important,

1068
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 2: of course you're gonna be hedging a significant amount of

1069
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:57,840
Speaker 2: your life into it, and that maybe if and yeah,

1070
01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:03,120
Speaker 2: and that's kind of a contradiction that it is difficult

1071
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 2: to navigate. But I mean, in your situation, having just

1072
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:09,480
Speaker 2: gotten out of this relationship with this with this person

1073
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:12,960
Speaker 2: for twelve years, I would say that your therapist is right, like,

1074
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 2: go have fun, but you know, be careful that you're

1075
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,880
Speaker 2: not getting your entire self worth off of this guy. Man,

1076
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:19,480
Speaker 2: if you're sitting here and saying that you have nobody

1077
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 2: else to talk to about this, it could be an

1078
01:04:21,840 --> 01:04:25,960
Speaker 2: indicator that you know, your your non romantic social life

1079
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 2: could use some attention as well, so that you're not yeah,

1080
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:31,800
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

1081
01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:37,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, No, I mean definitely you know. For further disclosure

1082
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:39,200
Speaker 5: on that though, too. I mean, we've been taking this

1083
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:43,040
Speaker 5: really slow. I mean, I mean I've been I've been

1084
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:46,720
Speaker 5: seeing this guy now for two months about and like

1085
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:50,280
Speaker 5: we haven't even done anything outside of his house. Like

1086
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,479
Speaker 5: I just go over to his place and we hang

1087
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:56,320
Speaker 5: out for a bit. Sometimes we have sex, sometimes we don't.

1088
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 5: Sometimes we're very cuddly, sometimes we're not. Sometimes I just

1089
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,040
Speaker 5: go over there and and help him out with things

1090
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:05,680
Speaker 5: over at the house. But we've been taking pretty slow.

1091
01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:07,720
Speaker 5: It's been like a kind of a snail space.

1092
01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 2: Well, uh, I think that's a good thing, probably, Uh.

1093
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:17,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree. For sure, and I mean so to

1094
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:20,160
Speaker 5: see I mean his whole his whole outlook is you know,

1095
01:05:20,320 --> 01:05:23,600
Speaker 5: absence kind of makes the heart grow fonder, which I get.

1096
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:26,960
Speaker 5: And it definitely makes sense when I when I see

1097
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 5: him for the first time, you know, after like a

1098
01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 5: week and a half or so, and.

1099
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:34,640
Speaker 2: Mike, yeah, Yo, anything, is there anything else you want

1100
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:36,400
Speaker 2: to say to the people of the computer before we go.

1101
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 5: Just love each other and be good to yourself and

1102
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 5: be good to the people that you love. And thank

1103
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:43,440
Speaker 5: you very much.

1104
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 2: Gek all right, man, have a good time at the

1105
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 2: car show. See if they have a batmobile or some shit.

1106
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:51,280
Speaker 5: Oh I will. I'll take pictures if I find one,

1107
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 5: and I'll shoot one over to you.

1108
01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:57,040
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, I'm going to get a picture of a

1109
01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:00,120
Speaker 2: of a batmobile that.

1110
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 5: Ghosts on the line taking your phone calls every night.

1111
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:06,520
Speaker 2: Never bid ghost doing his eye. He was teaching him

1112
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:10,440
Speaker 2: his house, your life, but he's not ready. An expert