Speaker 1: Attention Shoppers.
Speaker 2: Attention Shoppers Employees Only is an improvised comedy podcast about
Speaker 2: a fictional big box store. Any similarity to real stores
Speaker 2: or real people. It completely coincidental.
Speaker 1: Guys, Welcome to the breakthrew and welcome to third shift
Speaker 1: here in our twenty four hour bye. Well, I have
Speaker 1: you all on the late shift for the first time tonight.
Speaker 1: Thanks for stepping up since our usual midnight skeleton crew
Speaker 1: is down with COVID.
Speaker 3: Okay, we're getting time and a half for being here.
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, Shila, you're getting time and a half.
Speaker 3: I think I'm missing a right to.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be just the five of us in the
Speaker 1: store overnight. It's gonna be like the breakfast club, y'all.
Speaker 4: So does that make you the dick bag principle that
Speaker 4: we all hate?
Speaker 5: Does this mean you're buying us breakfast? This is like
Speaker 5: a breakfast for dinner situation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, we're not getting breakfast. It's a movie. Anyway.
Speaker 1: I hope y'all got plenty of sleep. Took a little
Speaker 1: vitamin D because if you're not used to working the
Speaker 1: midnight shift, it can really mess with your head a
Speaker 1: little bit. Okay, you have to be careful.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, Jerry, I've been partying for thirty six hours straight,
Speaker 6: so I've gotten plenty of vitamin D.
Speaker 7: I don't know how to interpret that wink she gave
Speaker 7: when she said vitamin D h it means pence my
Speaker 7: hypothesis was correct.
Speaker 8: Okay.
Speaker 7: Stakes to night on lois nothing.
Speaker 1: We don't save by everything by, so everybody thinks they're
Speaker 1: prepared for a full night in the store.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna drink twice as many diet cokes as I
Speaker 4: usually do. And Hey, if any of you guys need
Speaker 4: any help keeping awake tonight, just think about the fact
Speaker 4: that the Supreme Court is sixty two percent conservative.
Speaker 6: And then if you don't want to do that because
Speaker 6: it's lame, just snort some of this addy I have
Speaker 6: in my locker.
Speaker 5: The Ladyshift says there's a ghost of a dead customer
Speaker 5: who haunts the ioso. I want to see if I
Speaker 5: can find the gohot and help him resolve whatever his
Speaker 5: issues were on Earth. You know, they always got unfinished.
Speaker 1: Business, so you're trying to catch a ghost.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I don't really like helping living people, but dead people,
Speaker 5: I'm all about getting them some peace.
Speaker 1: You help the dead customers more than you help the
Speaker 1: living customers. Oh, I wish that was not true. And now, Victor,
Speaker 1: you've done this before, so you should be fine.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's no problem for me. I use Leonardo da
Speaker 7: Vinci's polyphasic sleep process. I take a series of twenty
Speaker 7: minute naps throughout a twenty four hour period. In fact,
Speaker 7: I think I'm due for one right about now. Seeing
Speaker 7: twenty minutes, y'all.
Speaker 9: Wow, he is just look, you can't even he is
Speaker 9: really asleep.
Speaker 3: That sounds undhealthy. I think he has like sleep algeria.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you mean sleep apnea shilah. And there
Speaker 1: definitely sounds like there's some sort of blocking.
Speaker 8: Yeah, he needs a machine. I don't.
Speaker 1: It's not a pap smear.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 1: I think we actually have some sleep apne machines on
Speaker 1: discount on I'll seventeen. We should let Victor know about that.
Speaker 8: Sometimes I just leave a note on him if you
Speaker 8: want them to know something.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good idea. Here, let me write a
Speaker 1: little note and stick it right here on his forehead.
Speaker 1: There we go.
Speaker 8: You'll get it by well.
Speaker 6: Okay, oh my god, this I have to tell you.
Speaker 6: Timothy Challame and Kylie Jenner are being called a new
Speaker 6: IT couple for the year.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, The new IT couple is Vladimir Putin
Speaker 4: and Kim Jong Un. Did you see these two meet
Speaker 4: up last week? Normally, when two men who can't stop
Speaker 4: crossing boundaries are in the same room, it's a Chris
Speaker 4: Dalia podcast.
Speaker 6: Honestly, I kind of love it. One powerful evil men meetup.
Speaker 3: It's scary, but like in a hot way, like Willem
Speaker 3: Dafoe would.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, that's a definite wood. I'm just happy they
Speaker 7: found each other, you know, Putin Kim Jong Own, I
Speaker 7: know how hard it is to find a guy you
Speaker 7: can talk about intercontinental ballistic missiles with?
Speaker 4: What is dictator? Small talk like like, hey, what kind
Speaker 4: of art do you like? Giant pictures of yourself?
Speaker 9: Me too?
Speaker 6: I mean, I know he's evil or whatever, but I
Speaker 6: gotta be honest. I would hang out with Kim jogguon
Speaker 6: in a heartbeat. North Korean barbecue has to be next level.
Speaker 6: I mean, no one makes sure it's perfect, like a
Speaker 6: chef who serves a rtorust dictator. I read meal as
Speaker 6: an elimination challenge.
Speaker 5: Kim Jong Own and Putin are teaming up this is
Speaker 5: like the weirdest crossover ever. This is like Skeletor and
Speaker 5: shred Aer getting together.
Speaker 7: I feel bad for whatever double O seven type comes
Speaker 7: to kill them and then has to hear two boring
Speaker 7: villain monologues instead of the usual one. Well, it seems
Speaker 7: like you stumbled into my trap, mister Bond. Well, it
Speaker 7: seems like you've also stumbled into my trap, mister Bond,
Speaker 7: arguing over which unnecessarily complicated and slow torture mechanism to
Speaker 7: throw them in. Well, I brought a slow motion laser.
Speaker 7: Well I brought a Piranha tank that opens very slowly. Boy,
Speaker 7: that would be a fly on the wall.
Speaker 6: If they wanted to try some sort of like slow torture,
Speaker 6: they should just listen to Victor talk about old timey weapons.
Speaker 5: We should be worried Putin's gone back to his crazy friends.
Speaker 5: You only do that when you have no one else
Speaker 5: to turn to and no one else to talk to.
Speaker 5: If you ever see me with my cousin Harol run Well, I.
Speaker 7: Know Harrold, He's helped me out a few times.
Speaker 8: You don't want Harold's health.
Speaker 4: This is really, though not a good sign for Putin.
Speaker 4: Like how many ideas had to bomb before you were like,
Speaker 4: have we tried asking North Korea?
Speaker 6: Although it must be cool to see someone in real
Speaker 6: life that you usually only see him like the Dictator
Speaker 6: group chat, it's like, oh, you're that tall, so weird.
Speaker 4: Kim John Un doesn't fly, so he took his huge
Speaker 4: bulletproof train that he zips around in over to meet
Speaker 4: with Putin. Talk about overcompensating.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, do you think the train also makes
Speaker 6: really loud noises like all those divorced dads on motorcycles.
Speaker 7: Yeah, this is the one train that you can rev.
Speaker 5: Wait a minute, a bulletproof train. Who is he getting
Speaker 5: to TechEd by Billy the kid? What kind of old
Speaker 5: ass method of protection is.
Speaker 7: That he can't elude surface to air missiles but he
Speaker 7: can be stopped by on the tracks.
Speaker 3: By Okay, guys, don't worry.
Speaker 6: I told Jerry there was a night possible loosen cosmetics,
Speaker 6: so he'll be very busy looking for that mammal.
Speaker 3: For a long time.
Speaker 7: Shallah. They're not just mammals, they're North America is only
Speaker 7: negative marsupial. If you frighten them, they'll just open their
Speaker 7: jaws and play possum. Truly, one of Nature's miracles.
Speaker 3: Wow, why is a miracle? Might be so sad and dry?
Speaker 6: What wasn't I Liz, I have to tell you something.
Speaker 6: I met this guy at this party and he was
Speaker 6: throwing up so much riz.
Speaker 4: There is that word again. What does riz mean exactly?
Speaker 4: Is it charisma? I just can't keep up with all
Speaker 4: these gen z terms. Annie and Tori have been throwing
Speaker 4: the word riz around. At first I was concerned because
Speaker 4: I was like, that sounds like a bodily discharge. But
Speaker 4: then I also think they make up words just to
Speaker 4: mess with me. Is scoopy boopda thing?
Speaker 7: Liz, You're embarrassing yourself. Okay, look, I'm around enough pubescents
Speaker 7: on the Magic the Gathering scene to have picked up
Speaker 7: that RIZ is something I don't have. In fact, they
Speaker 7: told me that I have reverse riz. I have zero.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 6: I cannot believe I have to hang out with aging
Speaker 6: people all day. I feel like Selena Gomez and only
Speaker 6: murders in the building, except nobody is.
Speaker 3: Murdering any of you.
Speaker 7: I believe the riz is one of the fellas from
Speaker 7: the rap ensemble The Blu Tang Clan.
Speaker 8: No Victor, that's the Rizza aka Bobby.
Speaker 7: Digitals, the Riz, the ghost Man, ghost face.
Speaker 4: Listen. I keep telling my kids not to use internet
Speaker 4: slang because they're probably just appropriating black culture and that's whack.
Speaker 5: I just don't like how it sounds. Riz sounds nasty.
Speaker 5: Is too close to Jiz and Wiz.
Speaker 4: Wait, it's actually also incredibly close to Liz. Does Liz
Speaker 4: have RIZ?
Speaker 3: No, let's ask depression.
Speaker 5: Anyway, by the time white people learn about slang, it's
Speaker 5: already too late. You can't use the word once there
Speaker 5: on it. That's like meeting somebody at their funeral.
Speaker 6: It doesn't matter what RIZ means anymore. Now that I've
Speaker 6: heard three old people say it, I will not be
Speaker 6: saying that word. This is just like when those old
Speaker 6: white Republicans ruined Dabby.
Speaker 4: I get it. My estranged husband tries to use the
Speaker 4: same slang my daughters do. It's like, you go, Jamethie.
Speaker 4: I'm sure all the girls at the college bar think
Speaker 4: your new Olivia Rodrigo shirt really slaps on your forty
Speaker 4: three year old man tits.
Speaker 7: You know, from another perspective, I have lots of riz.
Speaker 7: If you're talking about sky Rizzy, the medication I take
Speaker 7: from mysiasis.
Speaker 8: Nothing is everything.
Speaker 4: Bye. Oh my god, this is so boring. Nobody comes
Speaker 4: in during the midnight shift like nothing is happening. I've
Speaker 4: already recalibrated every single flat screen in electronics. That's got
Speaker 4: to almost be mourning, right. What time is it?
Speaker 7: Twelve thirty We've been here thirty minutes.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Victor.
Speaker 7: Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Speaker 1: Okay, oh man. I don't know about y'all, but I
Speaker 1: am feeling in it already. How is everyone doing?
Speaker 7: Sharp as attack there, Jared. My sleep rhythm keeps me
Speaker 7: fully alert at every moment of consciousness.
Speaker 1: Hey, look at that. Robert's doing an inventory. I see
Speaker 1: you got some paperwork out here, Robert. Nice work, buddy.
Speaker 5: I've been looking through these old reports about customers who
Speaker 5: died in the store. I'm trying to figure out who
Speaker 5: the ghost is. I'm thinking is the guy that got
Speaker 5: trampled to death during the Black Friday?
Speaker 1: Said, Oh my god, if only our prices hadn't been
Speaker 1: so low that day.
Speaker 3: Why are you guys so tired? I mean probably because
Speaker 3: you're like old. Inside. I'm like young and hot. I'm
Speaker 3: like to dance and at the clubs, so I'm like
Speaker 3: so awak right now.
Speaker 7: Oh, it looks as if Shilah has adopted my polyphasic
Speaker 7: sleep process.
Speaker 1: Shilah, wake up, please? Can you wake up?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 7: Well, ps there, Robert. When I woke up from my
Speaker 7: last polyphasic sleep session, I was covered in notes messages
Speaker 7: from the beyond. The ghosts are leaving us clues, something masks,
Speaker 7: something something. I have a feeling that perhaps this spirit
Speaker 7: met their end in the field of e prey or passiondale.
Speaker 7: We got ghostly World War One veterans out here.
Speaker 5: Hey, maybe when you take your nap, you going into
Speaker 5: the spiritual realm and you're able to communicate with the undead.
Speaker 5: Maybe you should take another nap, but see if you
Speaker 5: get any more correspondence going.
Speaker 7: Truly, this sleep method has unseen benefits.
Speaker 8: Thank you, Robert.
Speaker 7: I will I will enter the world of dreams and
Speaker 7: see what messages I can bring back from the beyond.
Speaker 1: Hey, wait a minute, if everyone is in this break
Speaker 1: room right now, who who is out there running the store?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, we forgot to We forgot to run the store.
Speaker 1: Everybody back out there, Come on, we're the only ones here.
Speaker 4: Bye bye, Oh boy, Victor. I bet you want to
Speaker 4: take a trip to Mexico. Real bad, right now?
Speaker 7: Wow, what have you heard? Those charges were dropped?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, they're so sketchy. No, I just read
Speaker 4: that Mexico's Congress just had a bunch of experts come
Speaker 4: in there and say that aliens could be real. They
Speaker 4: even showed them alien mummies that they found in Peru.
Speaker 7: You know, they just had a hearing about extraterrestrials on
Speaker 7: the floor of the United States Congress, although they denied
Speaker 7: my repeated petitions to testify, despite the fact that I
Speaker 7: have been probed on multiple occasions.
Speaker 4: Well, I think we're no different from Mexico. They brought
Speaker 4: mummies to Congress. We've got Mitch McConnell and Diane Feinstein.
Speaker 4: We let our mummies make laws.
Speaker 5: So minute, alien mummies. That's two monsters in one. What's next?
Speaker 5: Vampire mermaids as actually sound kind of cool.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that sounds frightening and deeply erotic.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 6: When crashes in Mexico, it's like all fun and cool
Speaker 6: and everybody's interested. But when I crashed in Mexico, they
Speaker 6: make me take a breathalyzer and suspend my passport.
Speaker 7: You gotta be really careful when you're accusing someone of
Speaker 7: being an alien, you could easily be wrong, and then
Speaker 7: you're just stuck there, awkwardly pulling on the beard of
Speaker 7: them all. Santa happens every year.
Speaker 4: I just hope these aliens stay away. Guys going by movies,
Speaker 4: they're mostly bad news. You got a better chance of
Speaker 4: meeting a winner on Christian Tinder than you do in
Speaker 4: a UFO.
Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't know tinderhead a Christian setting.
Speaker 4: I love that, really, Shilah, you want to go after
Speaker 4: guys that are super into Jesus?
Speaker 6: Oh, yes, I want to drag them into sin? Hello,
Speaker 6: passion projects?
Speaker 7: Uh? Can you select other pantheons on tender women who
Speaker 7: are into the gods of Asgard or.
Speaker 1: Victor?
Speaker 4: Did he just fall asleep talking?
Speaker 3: Oh my god? Quick, Robert write another note and put
Speaker 3: it on his forehead?
Speaker 8: What should I say? He thinks? As a World War
Speaker 8: one goes tell there's.
Speaker 6: Extra munitions in one of the boxes of lucky charms,
Speaker 6: and he has to go through all of them.
Speaker 8: How do you spill munitions?
Speaker 3: I'm oh, and I don't know what is this math?
Speaker 3: I hate this?
Speaker 8: It's a goals You don't have dispeller perfect?
Speaker 2: Bye?
Speaker 8: Well, bye.
Speaker 7: Well, you know one time when I worked the night shift,
Speaker 7: I had to throw a man and a woman out
Speaker 7: of the store for trying to have sex in housewares.
Speaker 7: I threw them out right away. I didn't silently watch
Speaker 7: them have sex to completion.
Speaker 4: God, who was it? Lauren Bolbert and her date? Do
Speaker 4: you guys hear about them at Beetlejuice just get into
Speaker 4: third base. They had to kick her out because she
Speaker 4: was vaping and letting her date just honk on her pits, Like,
Speaker 4: what is happening with elected officials in this country?
Speaker 3: I don't understand what the big deal is? Okay? So
Speaker 3: she interrupted a musical. Big deal? I got kicked out
Speaker 3: of a wedding for getting to second base.
Speaker 6: My sister was like, oh, You're ruining my special day
Speaker 6: and I was like, okay, jealous much vision.
Speaker 4: At least you're consistent, Shila, and your sister's not a
Speaker 4: person who claims that drag shows expose children to sex.
Speaker 4: Lauren Bobert is out here trying to cancel drag while
Speaker 4: she's given hj's at an all ages show. She's the
Speaker 4: one exposing children to sex. In fact, there was a
Speaker 4: pregnant woman behind her she was exposing them as a
Speaker 4: fetus hoarding.
Speaker 7: It always the way people in power think they can
Speaker 7: just walk all over us and the rules don't apply
Speaker 7: to them. But there is one thing that we lowly
Speaker 7: work in people will not tolerate, and that is messing
Speaker 7: with beetlejuice. Lauren Bobert, you do well to remember that
Speaker 7: you say his name with respect, but not three times
Speaker 7: unless you want, unless you want some chaos to pop off.
Speaker 4: Listen. You don't get to hate gay people and then
Speaker 4: go to musicals. Conservative Christians are only allowed to see
Speaker 4: Joseph Jesus Christ Superstar and the high school version of
Speaker 4: Greece where they cut out Rizzo that sense.
Speaker 7: Look, though I don't condone her behavior, Okay, I do
Speaker 7: understand the struggle to get uncontrollably aroused at the sight
Speaker 7: of a giant sand worm descending upon the recently deceased.
Speaker 7: So you know I can keep myself in chip.
Speaker 4: I mean, we got Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Bobert, Matt Gates.
Speaker 4: The GOP has gone downhill. You used to have to
Speaker 4: be a member of Skull and Bones to get into
Speaker 4: the GOP. Now you just have to be freshly fired
Speaker 4: from chuck e cheese.
Speaker 7: Ooh, I qualify, I too spent some time behind the
Speaker 7: mouse mask, Victor.
Speaker 3: There's supposed to be robots. What were you doing in
Speaker 3: that costume?
Speaker 7: One of the robots broke down, so they hired me
Speaker 7: to play the tambourine in the Rock of Fire Explosion.
Speaker 7: It's pretty good money and they let me hang out
Speaker 7: in the ballpit for free.
Speaker 5: So she just now got divorced and she's out at
Speaker 5: musicals grabbing dicks. I bet that dude probably pointed to
Speaker 5: his dick. It was like it's showtime. And he probably
Speaker 5: had bad teeth too, just like budleto.
Speaker 7: Oh well, by the way, y'all, if you want some
Speaker 7: lucky charms, I opened like a dozen boxes of these
Speaker 7: things looking for munitions. I received more messages. It appears
Speaker 7: I've said something amusing. Perhaps I have rears after all.
Speaker 4: Bye, this is my fifth die Coke. I think if
Speaker 4: I have any more, my kidneys are going to give out.
Speaker 7: You need a pig kidney.
Speaker 4: I am afraid to ask, But what are you talking about?
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, fascinating story. And NYU Hospital transplanted a pig's
Speaker 7: kidney into a human body and it worked for two months.
Speaker 7: It's a milestone for animal human transplantation.
Speaker 4: This is not okay with me unless they can train
Speaker 4: the pig to use those little talking buttons that the
Speaker 4: dogs use on TikTok so that I can hear the
Speaker 4: pigs clear consent.
Speaker 6: I mean, science is always coming up with new and
Speaker 6: fascinating ways to make me barf. I'm sorry, but the
Speaker 6: only pig I'm letting inside of me is this financial
Speaker 6: broker I'm matched with on Christian ten.
Speaker 4: There do pig kidneys even work on human food or
Speaker 4: what I have to bring my own off of slop
Speaker 4: wherever I go. My tofu already gets me enough stairs
Speaker 4: as it is.
Speaker 3: You know, oh that's what you're eating. I thought that
Speaker 3: was slow. I feel so much better.
Speaker 6: For you, Liz.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna outlive you, Shilah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, probably.
Speaker 5: Pigs really have terrible look. I mean, their muscles are delicious,
Speaker 5: they make the best food, their skin makes a perfect football,
Speaker 5: and now their kidney.
Speaker 8: Save our lives.
Speaker 5: It's like they made a wish to be the best
Speaker 5: at everything, but it was one of them asshole genius
Speaker 5: that gives you what you ask for, but not the
Speaker 5: way you ask for it, Like Kazam.
Speaker 6: I feel like this news is like a real mixed
Speaker 6: bag for Muslim kidney patients, because the doctor's like, good news,
Speaker 6: you'll live completely normal life before you suffering all eternity
Speaker 6: and don them.
Speaker 7: I'd be careful if I were these doctors. Pigs can
Speaker 7: be very sexually aggressive, trust me.
Speaker 5: Bye.
Speaker 4: Well, okay, guys, Carrie's in the freezer section. I figure
Speaker 4: we've got at least thirty minutes before he figures out
Speaker 4: that no one's out there.
Speaker 5: So it was nice you e was scary some cracky
Speaker 5: you could come in here with a gun and hold
Speaker 5: us up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so many crackheads with guns. And then they're going
Speaker 4: after Hunter Biden. You know, he just got indicted because
Speaker 4: he bought a handgun without disclosing he had a drug addiction.
Speaker 4: Hopefully he comes in though.
Speaker 8: He's cute.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know, right for somebody who smokes crack, he
Speaker 6: looks incredible. Let's open an impeachment and cuiry into his
Speaker 6: skincare routine because what is that?
Speaker 3: Hello?
Speaker 7: Wait, hold on, if you're on crack, you're supposed to
Speaker 7: write that and the gun application. I'm sorry, I think
Speaker 7: I know if that was something you had to put
Speaker 7: on it. I got an application right here, Yeah here
Speaker 7: it is, okay, yeah, see nothing here this Oh my gosh,
Speaker 7: a little box that says are you on crack? Check
Speaker 7: yes or no?
Speaker 8: Well?
Speaker 7: All right, egg on my face.
Speaker 3: I guess Victor, you buy guns. I thought you would
Speaker 3: use like more. I don't know, like World War two.
Speaker 7: Oh oh shy, sweet summer child. I use all kind
Speaker 7: of of black powder, webapons, edged weapons, swords, the katanas
Speaker 7: of feudal Japan. But this doesn't mean that I don't
Speaker 7: also dabble in a conventional modern weaponry.
Speaker 6: How am I bored and scared at the same time?
Speaker 6: I hate this conversation.
Speaker 4: Wait, let me get this straight. So you can't buy
Speaker 4: a gun on drugs, but we can sell guns in
Speaker 4: a pharmacy that's also a liquor store. I got to
Speaker 4: stand up for my boy Hunter here for a second.
Speaker 4: His mother and sister died in a car accident. Then
Speaker 4: later his brother, universally regarded as better than him, died
Speaker 4: of cancer. He's the last man standing besides the President
Speaker 4: of the United States. We gotta give this guy a break.
Speaker 4: I would be on a little bit of crack if
Speaker 4: I had that much loss in my life.
Speaker 7: All I have to say, is it seems as though
Speaker 7: the hunter has become the hunted.
Speaker 5: Wait a minute, is Hunter the only man to have
Speaker 5: their dick presented to the US Congress? The Republicans showed
Speaker 5: a picture of his penis in the here and Bill
Speaker 5: Clinton didn't even get that.
Speaker 7: If you don't think that's the first dick pic they're
Speaker 7: watching behind closed doors, Every closed door Senate subcommittee is
Speaker 7: a slide show of all kinds of manners of wiener.
Speaker 8: So that's why they can never get any laws passed.
Speaker 7: Because those clowns in Washington are always ogling slide shows
Speaker 7: of various dinguses, dongs and what have you. They put
Speaker 7: it right in front of your face. What is the
Speaker 7: Washington monument? Robert is very dicky.
Speaker 5: I risk my case the irony is people that smoke
Speaker 5: cracking the guns the most. I mean, have you watched Scarface?
Speaker 5: Have you watched any of these cocaine movies? Guns are mandatory.
Speaker 5: What would narcos be if they were just using sling shots?
Speaker 7: Well, don't count out the slings as a fine weapon.
Speaker 7: Why back in ancient room, Charlotte, where are you going by.
Speaker 9: There?
Speaker 1: You guys? Are you know? I keep walking in here
Speaker 1: and you're in the break room. Come on, we gotta
Speaker 1: get out there because he's a what Hey, where is Shilah?
Speaker 1: I haven't seen Shilah an hour.
Speaker 7: I think I saw her an outer war. She was
Speaker 7: sleeping in a nest of coats. She looked so peaceful.
Speaker 7: I didn't want to disturb her. Besides, I've been told
Speaker 7: I shouldn't watch people while they're sleep.
Speaker 4: Just a little peak, Okay, Jerry, don't be mad. But
Speaker 4: I was really bored, and so I started to reorganize
Speaker 4: all my shelves by color. And once I got started,
Speaker 4: I couldn't stop. And so now the store is just
Speaker 4: like one continuous rainbow.
Speaker 7: I think it's a more intuitive layout personally. I mean,
Speaker 7: as long as you know the precise color the item
Speaker 7: you're looking for, it's a win.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 5: There, Yeah, I met the ghost. He is thin like
Speaker 5: a skeleton. He's got this long, greasy hair, and he's
Speaker 5: covered in blood.
Speaker 1: Robert, that is Albert. He's a regular customer. He's just
Speaker 1: the type of person who shops at four am. He's
Speaker 1: a hemophilia.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, I was wondering why he bought a red
Speaker 5: bull and a bag of fians.
Speaker 1: We are all losing our minds. It's no use. We
Speaker 1: need sleep. Someone get the manager and tell them we've
Speaker 1: got to close the store a couple hours so we
Speaker 1: can take a nap.
Speaker 8: You're the manager.
Speaker 1: Ah, I'm losing my grip on my own identity. Everything
Speaker 1: feels like a simulation victory. Is this your face or
Speaker 1: is it just a mask?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 7: It's a mask. Yeah, my World War One ghost advised
Speaker 7: me to put it on. It can't be too careful.
Speaker 3: Yes, the sun is out. The morning shift is here.
Speaker 3: It's over. I feel so well rusted. I haven't slept
Speaker 3: this on month.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the morning shift is here. Oh thank god.
Speaker 1: I have new respect for the midnight shift. I just think, y'all,
Speaker 1: we only have to do this three or four more
Speaker 1: nights until the midnight shift recovers from COVID. I will
Speaker 1: see you all tomorrow at midnight.
Speaker 7: You see us as you want to see us, in
Speaker 7: the simplest terms and with the most convenient definitions. But
Speaker 7: what we found is that each of us is a
Speaker 7: brain and an athlete, a basket case of princess Victor.
Speaker 1: Are you doing the monologue from the end of the
Speaker 1: Breakfast Club.
Speaker 4: I love the Breakfast Club. I was Ali, sheety every
Speaker 4: year for Halloween for like a decade.
Speaker 7: I mean that makeover, That is a travesty.
Speaker 4: She was better before, agreed, Victor, You and I today
Speaker 4: are we falling in love?
Speaker 1: You know what? I'm taking all of you for breakfast?
Speaker 1: After all, Let's go to Denny's.
Speaker 4: Hell Yeah, thanks, Jerry.
Speaker 1: No, you're paying for your own breakfast, but I'm taking you.
Speaker 1: We can take my car.
Speaker 7: Agree.
Speaker 10: Employees Only is produced by Imagine Audio and Pretty Fast
Speaker 10: for iHeartMedia, produced by Timothy Farnara. The associate producer is
Speaker 10: Wesley Hayes. It is executive produced by Ron Howard, Brian Grazer,
Speaker 10: Caarra Welker, Nathan Cloke and Jared Logan. Editing by Timothy Furnara,
Speaker 10: Mixing by j Palizi, casting by Sherry Henderson. Original music
Speaker 10: composed by Alloy Tracks. Liz is played by Kara klink
Speaker 10: Rich is played by Kurt Brunneller. Victor is played by
Speaker 10: Ross Bryant. Marcia is played by Madison Shepherd. Arnold is
Speaker 10: played by James Odomian. Nia is played by Keisha Zoler.
Speaker 10: Shilah is played by Suba Argowall and Darry is played
Speaker 10: by Jared Logan.