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Speaker 1: Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it.

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Speaker 1: I'm an og Okay Storytime podcast host. I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I'm making sure that you stay here for the next

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Speaker 1: two minutes.

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Speaker 2: All right, I'll be detained for the two more minutes

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Speaker 2: before we get into this episode.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we got some ads coming up.

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Speaker 2: Just stick around.

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Speaker 1: Stick around.

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Speaker 3: My stepmother tried to sabotage my engagement for her son.

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Speaker 3: Ew my stepmother is trying to sabotage my engagement to

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Speaker 3: make her son happy.

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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 3: I'm a twenty four years old male. My girlfriend is

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Speaker 3: twenty five female. Let's call her Kara. My dad is

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Speaker 3: fifty two male Toby, my stepmother is Karen, fifty one female,

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Speaker 3: and my stepbrother Tom is thirty six male. Fake names,

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Speaker 3: but I'm gonna try and keep it simple. My mother

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Speaker 3: passed away, so she isn't in the story. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from Safe Albatross ninety seventy one, and if

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Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 3: r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and I'm Keon.

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Speaker 3: I met my girlfriend seven years ago an anime convention

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Speaker 3: in New York City. I remember we used to work

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Speaker 3: together for an ambulance company. She didn't remember me, but

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Speaker 3: I remembered her. She was meeting up with someone else,

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Speaker 3: but he never showed up. We clicked and have been

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Speaker 3: good friends since then. During the pandemic, I asked her

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Speaker 3: out to date and we have been together since. Kara

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Speaker 3: is amazing. She loves anime, fantasy novels, science fiction TV

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Speaker 3: shows and novels, and my little pony friendship is magic.

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Speaker 3: She also loves true crime podcast not my thing, but

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Speaker 3: it makes her happy. Kara had never met my family

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Speaker 3: when we were together as friends, but once we started dating,

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Speaker 3: I decided it was time to introduce her to my dad, stepmom,

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Speaker 3: and stepbrother. Everything was so cool. Kara was a hit

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Speaker 3: amongst my family. My stepbrother wouldn't leave her alone, but

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Speaker 3: I thought it was him just getting to know her.

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Speaker 3: My dad and stepmom loved her too. My stepbrother Tom,

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Speaker 3: during this time, was becoming a little annoying, coming over

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Speaker 3: to my frequently, I know what's happening, and texting Kara

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Speaker 3: a lot. She told me, but we felt it wasn't

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Speaker 3: anything to be concerned about. Tom's visits became more and

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Speaker 3: more frequent when Kara and I moved in together. A

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Speaker 3: year after moving in, my stepmother asked if Tom could

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Speaker 3: move in with us because he was moving out of

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Speaker 3: my dad's house and this would be the first time

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Speaker 3: he would be living alone. Okay, and being with family

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Speaker 3: would help. We had an extra bedroom in the house

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Speaker 3: we were renting. It was a guest bedroom. Kara and

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Speaker 3: myself agreed so long as it was only for a

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Speaker 3: year at most, You fools. Tom moved in and became

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Speaker 3: extremely clingy. He wanted to hang out with us every day.

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Speaker 3: Kara and myself when we get home liked to unwind

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Speaker 3: by playing video games, reading books together, watching movies in bed,

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Speaker 3: or going over to a friend's house and playing D

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Speaker 3: and D. Since Tom moved in, he has been involved

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Speaker 3: in everything except when we read together.

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Speaker 1: He's sitting next to them.

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Speaker 2: We read the story.

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Speaker 3: Why aren't you reading them out loud? Why mommy does

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Speaker 3: in the do.

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Speaker 1: A fun voice?

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Speaker 3: Except when we read together, we read different books on

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Speaker 3: the patio. We just enjoy each other's company. Tom would

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Speaker 3: come outside and start talking to us about whatever, or

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Speaker 3: sit on the couch when we were playing video games

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Speaker 3: together and ask to have a turn.

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Speaker 1: My time, Mommy said, I could have a ton you've

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Speaker 1: been playing oh day.

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Speaker 3: Kara likes to have her alone time just to veg

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Speaker 3: out and listen to music or a podcast and cook.

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Speaker 3: Tom would be in the kitchen and strike up a conversation,

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Speaker 3: so she wasn't able to listen to music or her

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Speaker 3: true crime podcasts. She wasn't complaining about it, though, because

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Speaker 3: she does not like confrontation. Tom also would ask to

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Speaker 3: go grocery shopping with Kara. He also would invite himself

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Speaker 3: out with us on our date night.

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Speaker 1: I want to come on your date night. It's not

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Speaker 1: fair you always go on your date night.

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Speaker 3: You always get all of the date nights with Carara.

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Speaker 3: I want a date night with Carara. We tried at

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Speaker 3: first to not tell him we were going out, but

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Speaker 3: he would cry to his mom and she would say

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Speaker 3: we were not being nice to Tom, that this was

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Speaker 3: the first time on his own and he was lonely.

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Speaker 3: Tom crossed the line when Kara and myself booked a

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Speaker 3: vacation and he just so happened to book the same

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Speaker 3: cruise as us. That was a huge red flag because

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Speaker 3: it wasn't random. We booked a cruise that was hosting

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Speaker 3: a true crime convention cruise. Tom is not interested in

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Speaker 3: true crime. I am not interested in true crime like Kara,

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Speaker 3: but this was my treat for her after the events

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Speaker 3: of that cruise, and there was a lot of drama

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Speaker 3: on it. I told Tom and my dad that we

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Speaker 3: needed our space and Tom needed to move out. My

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Speaker 3: stepmother did not take this well. Luckily, my dad put

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Speaker 3: his foot down and told Karen it had been fourteen

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Speaker 3: months and Tom needed to find his own place. Tom

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Speaker 3: moved back home with my dad and Karen. We had

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Speaker 3: our piece for a while. Tom was still coming over

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Speaker 3: a lot, but we were avoiding him as much as possible.

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Speaker 1: Is any Tommy is here? Is Kara home?

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Speaker 3: I want to play my video games. Mommy stopped letting

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Speaker 3: me when I moved back.

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Speaker 1: Mommy might let me in anymore now.

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Speaker 3: For what is happening now? I asked my dad for

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Speaker 3: my mom's wedding ring to propose to Kara. My dad

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Speaker 3: happily gave me the ring, no questions asked, and his

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Speaker 3: wedding ring too for myself. Karen found out and she

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Speaker 3: has been unpleasant since. She makes comments about Kara being

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Speaker 3: older than myself and that she will not have much

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Speaker 3: time to have children. She said to me that Kara

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Speaker 3: is an older woman and that is not proper. You

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Speaker 3: know who's an older man, Cally.

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Speaker 1: Kara is just not your She's not age appropriate for you.

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Speaker 1: She should be with a more mature match, a more

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Speaker 1: mature man like my Tommy. Like what, Tommy, I think

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Speaker 1: they would be just the mis smashing match.

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Speaker 3: I told Karen I don't and that she isn't going

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Speaker 3: to get married to Kara.

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Speaker 1: I am.

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Speaker 3: Tom found out about the engagement and also has been

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Speaker 3: telling me that Kara isn't right for me. He said,

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Speaker 3: I don't understand Kara like he does. He also said

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Speaker 3: we will be divorced in a year of marriage.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 3: I planned an engagement party for Kara to propose, and

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Speaker 3: everything was perfect. I planned a pool party in our

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Speaker 3: backyard with both our friends and family. Two hours before

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Speaker 3: the party, my dad called and said that Karen accidentally

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Speaker 3: ate shrimp and had to go to the hospital and

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Speaker 3: he couldn't come. So I decided to have the party

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Speaker 3: and not pop the question. I wanted my dad with me.

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Speaker 3: We know she ate that shrimp on purpose, though, right,

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Speaker 3: We know she gave herself and offleaxis on purpose.

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Speaker 1: Right? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: The party was fun. I decided to plan a nice

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Speaker 3: dinner for Kara's family and mine to celebrate and pop

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Speaker 3: the question. Unfortunately, Karen got a flat tire up state

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Speaker 3: and needed my dad to drive upstate to help her

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Speaker 3: three hours before the dinner, so I decided to wait.

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Speaker 3: I tried again, and this time I was going to

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Speaker 3: ask Kara at my dad's barbecue party he was hosting. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 3: the night before, my dad's grill was broken and he

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Speaker 3: had to cancel. Hey, Op, I need you to stop

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Speaker 3: telling them when you pla to propose to Kara.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I needed to be a surprise, surprised, stop informing them.

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Speaker 3: I also want to see the look on Mommy and

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Speaker 3: Tommy's face. So I decided, since we had a lot

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Speaker 3: of bad luck, to ask Kara on a vacation to Japan.

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Speaker 1: Lovely.

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Speaker 3: I didn't tell anyone. I had it all planned out

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Speaker 3: and booked a SPA day in Japan and asked her.

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Speaker 3: She said yes, and we posted our good news lovely.

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Speaker 3: But I mean, you're you're engaged now.

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Speaker 1: Wood, tell me at the wedding. At the wedding and

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Speaker 1: does anybody have any He's.

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Speaker 3: Gonna lea know he's gonna like, mommy reason, Mummy object

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Speaker 3: for me?

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Speaker 1: Does anyone have any reason why these two should not

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Speaker 1: be married? Can you leave that part out? Can you

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Speaker 1: just skip it? I think you could just skip it.

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Speaker 1: My dad was so happy.

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Speaker 3: Karen was not. She blew up my phone saying, how

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Speaker 3: could I do this to Tom? She told me Tom

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Speaker 3: is in love with Kara and she is his one

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Speaker 3: and only. She said, we are not a good match.

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Speaker 3: Kara is older and much better fit for Tom. I

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Speaker 3: knew Tom had a crush on Kara, but she doesn't

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Speaker 3: like him like that. Karen was calling and texting non

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Speaker 3: stop now, saying can I just.

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Speaker 1: Let Tom have Kara? Tom wants Caara.

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Speaker 3: I called her crazy butt and told her Kara is

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Speaker 3: a human and she isn't something to be given away,

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Speaker 3: and she doesn't belong to anybody. I called my dad

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Speaker 3: and showed him the voicemail and text messages. My dad

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Speaker 3: wasn't shocked, but he is staying at my house because

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Speaker 3: he doesn't know what to do and he doesn't want

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Speaker 3: to talk about why he left. But Tom and Karen

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Speaker 3: keep driving by the house and trying to call my dad.

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Speaker 3: We blocked both of them. I don't know, but I

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Speaker 3: may get a restraining order because this is making Kara

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Speaker 3: really uncomfortable. Any advice please, We have some comment Comment one.

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Speaker 3: I was shocked y'all agreed to let him live with

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Speaker 3: you for a year.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, a butt man.

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Speaker 3: Who is ten years older than you does not need

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Speaker 3: to live with anyone when he is moving out of

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Speaker 3: his parents' house. He needs to move out on his

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Speaker 3: own and be an effing adult. Karen was trying to

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Speaker 3: do everything in her power to stop you from proposing.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad it didn't work out, but I'm sorry that

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Speaker 3: she kept your dad from being there. You need to

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Speaker 3: password protect everything for the wedding, get a protection order

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Speaker 3: against Tom and Karen, and help your dad realize it's

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Speaker 3: time for a divorce. Worst case scenario is he goes

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Speaker 3: back to her. He needs to file for divorce and

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Speaker 3: give an eviction notice to Karen and Tom if the

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Speaker 3: house is in his name only.

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Speaker 1: I hope you have a.

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Speaker 3: Great wedding and a happy life with Kara. Comment too,

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Speaker 3: So is Tom mentally disabled or something? You should definitely

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Speaker 3: ask Kara's father for advice on what to do about them.

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Speaker 3: Your stepmother is a psycho, But why can't Tom live

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Speaker 3: on his own Does he even work? Maybe Kara should

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Speaker 3: write him a letter telling him she doesn't love him

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Speaker 3: and that he is making her uncomfortable. What a crazy ordeal?

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Speaker 1: Is this real?

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Speaker 3: How could you not have noticed how on h hinged

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Speaker 3: they are before this? Ope, he replies, I don't know

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Speaker 3: if Tom has any mental disorders. I have no idea

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Speaker 3: why he can't live alone.

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Speaker 1: Thank god.

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Speaker 3: Karen is my stepmother. I met at fourteen, and after

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Speaker 3: my mom passed away and my dad remarried, grew closer

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Speaker 3: to my mom's family. I miss my mom and her sister.

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Speaker 3: My aunt helped me out during this time. My aunt

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Speaker 3: is very important to me, and she cooked just like

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Speaker 3: my mom did. So I was at my aunt's house

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Speaker 3: a lot and didn't pay attention to his relationship slash marriage.

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Speaker 3: That's the end of that.

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Speaker 1: There you freaking go, we go Wowee.

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Speaker 3: Congratulations, I totally forgot. But isn't that the one that's

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Speaker 3: from our subreddit? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's even better. Yes, So I hope

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Speaker 1: he rats. I hope you like that one. My stepfather

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Speaker 1: is a liar, but my mother refuses to leave him.

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Speaker 1: And then I said, like a liar. Trigger warning for

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Speaker 1: harmful relationships and also inappropriate relationships d children. As the

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Speaker 1: title suggests, my twenty four female mom fifty four female

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Speaker 1: has been married to my stepdad fifty three male for

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Speaker 1: about eleven years.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 1: Throughout those years, she has occasionally decided enough is enough,

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Speaker 1: invented to me my older sister twenty five female or

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Speaker 1: other immediate family members, expressing her desire to end the relationship,

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Speaker 1: and finally find the perfect time to get out of

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Speaker 1: her toxic marriage. But every time she ends up forgiving him,

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Speaker 1: they make up, life goes on, and the cycle repeats.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Fun Communication twenty thirty

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Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay storytime suppered it. I'm Sophia, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Carly, and I'm Keon and Op says, but.

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Speaker 1: This time was different. About a month ago, I got

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Speaker 1: an extremely emotional video call from her when she once

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Speaker 1: again had enough, But this time I could see that

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Speaker 1: she was packing a suitcase. After a particularly difficult fight.

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Speaker 1: Things escalated badly enough that she had an emotional bait breakdown,

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Speaker 1: decided to leave the house and drive over sixteen hours

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Speaker 1: to the state I live in to get away. I

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Speaker 1: tried my best to calm her down and understand the situation.

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Speaker 1: I can't remember the specifics of what finally made her

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Speaker 1: reach this breaking point, but I'll try to describe. But

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Speaker 1: the last eleven years with him in our lives has

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Speaker 1: been like to paint a better picture. My mom met

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Speaker 1: my step dad on a dating site. On their first date,

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Speaker 1: they decided they wanted to get married. Marriage is a

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Speaker 1: big thing in my family and our culture. As much

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Speaker 1: as I disagree with it, we don't really do dating

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Speaker 1: no matter how old you are. My biological father was

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Speaker 1: arrested and deported when we were really young, so she's

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Speaker 1: been operating as a single mom for quite some time.

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Speaker 1: It was hard on all of us, but our family

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Speaker 1: really stepped in to support her by taking care of

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Speaker 1: us while she worked. Though we were older but still minors,

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Speaker 1: she felt pressure to find a man to provide stability

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Speaker 1: for both herself and her daughters. I honestly don't blame her.

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Speaker 1: There's stigma to being a single mom in our culture,

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Speaker 1: and the way of being a single parent was overwhelming

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Speaker 1: for her. Things moved pretty quickly from there. The honeymoon

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Speaker 1: phase began and he showered her with gifts while she

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Speaker 1: enjoyed this time, my sister and I started to notice

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Speaker 1: red flags. This guy to constantly not only talks, but

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Speaker 1: promises the moon and all the stars to her and us,

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Speaker 1: then brags to anyone who will listen about what he's

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Speaker 1: willing and capable of providing. These promises never amount to much.

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Speaker 1: He's the kind of guy who believes money buys love.

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Speaker 1: This time, my mom lived about three hours away from

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Speaker 1: us to work, and we were still miners, living with

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Speaker 1: our grandma and uncles. He started to isolate her, intentionally

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Speaker 1: keeping her from visiting us on weekends when she was

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Speaker 1: supposed to. He'd send us messages or call us, making

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Speaker 1: it clear he was monopolizing her time. He became very

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Speaker 1: territorial of her and made it a habit of openly

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Speaker 1: competing with me and my sister for her attention and love.

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Speaker 1: Months past, and next thing you know, they got married

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Speaker 1: in a courthouse and we all got relocated to his

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Speaker 1: house in a state i'd never been to, hours away

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Speaker 1: from our family. During this time, I experienced inappropriate behavior

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Speaker 1: from him that made me extremely uncomfortable. He would also

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Speaker 1: consistently pick on my sister and me, and and my

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Speaker 1: mom also decided not to enroll us in school and

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Speaker 1: just homeschool us with some online study per p he

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00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,120
Speaker 1: bought years ago for his biological kids. As time passed,

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00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:08,040
Speaker 1: the red flags continued to crop up over promising, treating

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Speaker 1: me and my sister like threats, being territorial of me,

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Speaker 1: and being inappropriate with me. Then we moved to an

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00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,480
Speaker 1: even further state, things went from bad to worse. They

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00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,960
Speaker 1: plotted to send me overseas because they suspected I was

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00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,920
Speaker 1: attracted to the same gender, and they tormented me badly,

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00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,760
Speaker 1: turning my family against me to the point that I

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00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,600
Speaker 1: struggled severely with my mental health in middle school. During

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00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,160
Speaker 1: the tail end of high school and early years of college,

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00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,080
Speaker 1: they began another campaign against me for dating someone who

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00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,720
Speaker 1: was not the same race or culture as us. He

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00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,840
Speaker 1: prevented my mom from co signing my student loans, took

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Speaker 1: my car away, and completely cut off my financial support

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00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:49,120
Speaker 1: while my grandmother was battling pancreatic cancer. They also managed

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Speaker 1: to get me punted out of my grandma and uncle's

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Speaker 1: home where I was staying during college, making me homeless. Fortunately,

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Speaker 1: I had an acquaintance who let me move in with him.

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00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:02,080
Speaker 1: Despite all this, I learned to be independent and support myself.

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Speaker 1: After immense pressure from my mom to reconcile with my

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Speaker 1: stepdad so she could be allowed to speak to me

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00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,240
Speaker 1: and visit me or often, I caved, greeted my teeth,

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00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:14,240
Speaker 1: and apologized to him. Shortly after I graduated college, ended

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Speaker 1: a difficult relationship, landed a stable career. I love and

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Speaker 1: married my now husband, twenty nine Mail, who I've been

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Speaker 1: with for four years. I'm also pregnant with our first baby,

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Speaker 1: a girl who were overjoyed to finally meet. Most relationships

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00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,760
Speaker 1: with my family have been mended, and I learned to

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Speaker 1: cope and move forward. In recent years, it was just

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00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,120
Speaker 1: my sister, mom, and stepdad living in a different state

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00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,400
Speaker 1: while I lived in my home state where our whole

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00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,480
Speaker 1: family is located. As I learned to recover from past trauma,

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00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,800
Speaker 1: his controlling behavior escalated With my mom and sister. He

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00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:48,160
Speaker 1: had total financial control over tracking every penny she spent,

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00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,480
Speaker 1: while he was free to blow their income on mysterious purchases.

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Speaker 1: She wasn't allowed to have money in her name. Any

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00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,720
Speaker 1: money she had, he needed to know about it and

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00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,520
Speaker 1: would perpetually borrow it at any given time. Held over

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00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,400
Speaker 1: six figures in credit card debt in her name. He

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00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 1: opened multiple businesses in my mom's name and put most

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Speaker 1: of the burden of running them on her while she

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00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,480
Speaker 1: saw no profits. He would bark orders at her in

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Speaker 1: front of other people, commanding her like an unpaid employee.

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00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,360
Speaker 1: Fast forward to the time at the beginning of my

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00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,000
Speaker 1: post where she had enough and decided to drive up

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00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 1: to my home state to get away. I'm currently pregnant

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00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,480
Speaker 1: five months at the time of her arrival. Before she came,

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00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 1: my life was pretty stable. I'd move past my trauma,

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00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,200
Speaker 1: was planning my upcoming baby shower, and was due to

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00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,920
Speaker 1: start at a new job days before her arrival. But

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00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,200
Speaker 1: once she came to stay with me, my life centered

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00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:40,480
Speaker 1: around her. I committed energy, emotions, resources, and time to

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00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,840
Speaker 1: her well being. It's hard seeing your own mom in

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00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 1: such a vulnerable state, so I spent all my available

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00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,240
Speaker 1: time supporting her. My entire family rallied around her. When

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00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 1: she started expressing interest in divorce. Yeah, I would imagine

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00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,640
Speaker 1: that everyone would be like, please, please, We'll do anything

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00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,400
Speaker 1: to get you out of there. She'd kept most of

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00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 1: our family in the dark about his controlling behavior, but

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00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 1: she finally opened up to almost everyone. I connected her

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00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 1: to a local domestic support group, she found a lawyer,

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00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,000
Speaker 1: and she was starting to come to her senses about

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00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 1: the self absorbed person she married. I even found closure

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00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,760
Speaker 1: while she was here as she reassessed her priorities to

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00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,040
Speaker 1: focus on me and my sister, talking about how we'd

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00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 1: always be there for each other. She was apologetic and

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00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 1: regretful about bringing him into our lives. As satisfying as

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00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,320
Speaker 1: it was to see her have clarity and acknowledge the

364
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 1: pain he caused, it was also bringing back difficult memories

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00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:30,720
Speaker 1: for both me and my sister. The divorce proceedings began

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00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,159
Speaker 1: and we were waiting for him to be served the paper.

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00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,879
Speaker 1: But there was one problem. While my mom found support

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00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,840
Speaker 1: and peace away from the toxic environment, my sister was

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00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,679
Speaker 1: still in the home, facing my stepdad daily. They constantly

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00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 1: butted heads and he continually antagonized her. She would call

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00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,239
Speaker 1: us sobbing most days from the emotional stress of being

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00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 1: alone with him. Naturally, my mom said she had to

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00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 1: face him eventually and needed to go back home to

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00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 1: be there for my sister and tie up loose ends

375
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,240
Speaker 1: keeping her attached to him financially. Before she had a

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00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,440
Speaker 1: date for a trip back, I got some odd texts

377
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,440
Speaker 1: from my stepdad. He broke the news to me that

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00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,480
Speaker 1: he had stomacher and passed along a suspicious medical document

379
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:12,600
Speaker 1: to show me his diagnosis. Everyone was obviously shocked, but

380
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:17,240
Speaker 1: extremely doubtful. This guy is a serial liar. If it

381
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,160
Speaker 1: was anyone else, I would have been sympathetic and concerned,

382
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 1: But everyone in our family was skeptical. Was this just

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00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,240
Speaker 1: a way to get her to come back home? A

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00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,960
Speaker 1: pity play because he sensed the marriage was over. The

385
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,639
Speaker 1: timing was convenient, to say the least. My mom was

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00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 1: on the fence. Context. My stepdad has about six or

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00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 1: seven phones. Why why My sister mentioned on a video

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00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 1: call with us one day that he left a couple

389
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 1: of them in their bedroom. Out of curiosity, my mom

390
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,840
Speaker 1: asked my sister to check the one phone he had

391
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 1: with an absurdly long password. She went on the phone

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00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 1: and saw text with someone with a generic name. Upon

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00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,960
Speaker 1: further inspection of the text notifications, it was obvious this

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00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,120
Speaker 1: was a woman, and the texts were damning. I mean, yeah,

395
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,080
Speaker 1: he's already done literally everything else, so of course he's cheating.

396
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 1: This guy was having an affair. I'm sure he's having

397
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,879
Speaker 1: more than one, and if that wasn't bad enough, it

398
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: got worse. Finding this out made me recall that about

399
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,680
Speaker 1: three years ago, my mom confided in me that she

400
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,199
Speaker 1: contracted an STD the kind that you don't get accidentally

401
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,520
Speaker 1: and never go away, but isn't life threatening. The only

402
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 1: person she'd been intimate with was him. Remembering this and

403
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 1: discovering his affair connected the dots for me and our family.

404
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 1: What do you mean you knew? You knew that he

405
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 1: was cheating nic shocked. Some days passed and my mom

406
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 1: finally decided she's going to make the sixteen hour drive

407
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,359
Speaker 1: back home to face the situation and be there for

408
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 1: my sister. She spent the last day in my state

409
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 1: sobbing at the thought of going back Rafida facing him.

410
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 1: We all advised her against it out of fear for

411
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,240
Speaker 1: her mental health and safety, but she insisted she needed

412
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 1: to go back for my sister, so we respected that.

413
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 1: The moment she arrived and made contact with him, everything changed.

414
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,880
Speaker 1: Daily updates to me and the family turned to radio silence.

415
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Communication about the divorce proceedings became nonexistent.

416
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,640
Speaker 1: They started getting comfortable with each other again, calling each

417
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,639
Speaker 1: other baby and saying I love you. He constantly stayed

418
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,400
Speaker 1: by her side, never leaving her alone for a single moment,

419
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 1: talking her into exhaustion. It was like night and day.

420
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 1: The man she cried from fear over seeing again suddenly

421
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,639
Speaker 1: became the only person she was willing to talk to,

422
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 1: while she iced the rest of us out. All the

423
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 1: talks we had about her and my sister moving in

424
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: with me, my mom going back to school, and getting

425
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 1: the degree. She always wanted the excitement of her being

426
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 1: able to watch her future granddaughter grow up. The days, weeks,

427
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 1: hours I spent dealing with the realtor, applying and touring apartments,

428
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 1: hundreds of documents I compiled to help her with the

429
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,879
Speaker 1: divorce filing. It was starting to feel like it was

430
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 1: for nothing. When any of us would ask or check in,

431
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 1: she insisted, I'm still getting a divorce and stop bringing

432
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 1: me down my neck and treating me like a child.

433
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 1: She started turning on all of us, but we gave

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00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 1: her space and trusted what she said, despite what we

435
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 1: were seeing unfold during this time. The stress of worrying

436
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,880
Speaker 1: that he was getting to her head, emotions running high

437
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,439
Speaker 1: put strain on my marriage. When I got in an

438
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 1: argument with my husband, I usually called my mom to

439
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 1: rationalize with me and calm me down, since she's always

440
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 1: been on by. But when I called seeking support, something

441
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 1: weird happened. He was quiet, looked, exhausted, and barely said much.

442
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 1: My phone passed away during our conversation. When I charged

443
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,400
Speaker 1: it and called back, she wasn't picking up. I called

444
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,719
Speaker 1: my sister, who brought my mom into the room. As

445
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 1: she comes in, who's trailing behind her? I stepped out.

446
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 1: He tried to insert himself into my vulnerable moment, blaming

447
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,400
Speaker 1: my husband had called him for help, which was a lie.

448
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 1: I went off, and I stepped out of her text

449
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 1: and blocked him. My mom ended up blowing up at me,

450
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,399
Speaker 1: telling me not to get emotional allowed with her and

451
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 1: that if I was going to be like this, she

452
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,879
Speaker 1: didn't want to live with me. A few days pass

453
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,479
Speaker 1: Stepdad and Mom getting much more comfortable with each other

454
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 1: while keeping me and my family in the dark. Then

455
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 1: come the talks about a cruise. There was no talking

456
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 1: her out of it. She told us she had every

457
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 1: right to a vacation and could go on a trip

458
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 1: with her soon to be ex husband. Platonically, days before

459
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 1: the trip. My uncle was still texting with me and

460
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 1: my sister about his suspicions regarding as or diagnosis. After all,

461
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,639
Speaker 1: he wasn't showing any symptoms and doctor visits had completely stopped.

462
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 1: We took another look at the document my stepdad's said,

463
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 1: Me and my uncle decided to call the hospital list it.

464
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 1: After some time on hold, he gets in touch with

465
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: the worker there. They ask for the m RN number.

466
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 1: That's strange, the worker says, there aren't usually letters in

467
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 1: this number. The worker highly doubted the validity of this dock,

468
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 1: so my sister decided to print it out and go

469
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 1: to the hospital to ask in person. Surprise, surprise, the

470
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 1: person she spoke to confirmed the concern about the m

471
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 1: RN number and pointed out countless flaws in the document.

472
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: This guy was faking cancer.

473
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 3: Can you even be mad? Because I'm not surprised?

474
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: Yea, because we knew the feeling.

475
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 3: We knew this, This should have been brought up.

476
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 1: We brought this information to my mom and she was disappointed,

477
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 1: but not surprised. As more time went on, the less

478
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:43,359
Speaker 1: he stayed true to his original story, confirming without directly

479
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 1: saying it, that yes, the Kiser was a lie. The

480
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 1: cruise date arrives, my mom and stepdad are spending every

481
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 1: waking minute together, no more mentions of the divorce. I'm

482
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 1: running around, touring and applying to apartments to get my

483
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 1: mom and sister to move up here. Me, my sister,

484
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: and uncles are growing doubtful that she's really leaving it,

485
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 1: but we tried to stay hopeful. My mom and stepdad

486
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 1: leave for the cruise. She sends some videos of the

487
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,400
Speaker 1: boat to show us how nice it is. I ask

488
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 1: her what the rooming situation is the usual, she says,

489
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 1: meaning they're sharing a room. One day into the cruise.

490
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: I'm the middle of applying for the perfect place that

491
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 1: can accommodate our needs, but demand for apartments are so

492
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,880
Speaker 1: high that we have to act fast. I gently ask

493
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: my mom when she can fill out her part. Silence,

494
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,640
Speaker 1: another text, silence, A couple of calls, no answer. Two

495
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,919
Speaker 1: days of radio silence. She was avoiding me. Our chances

496
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 1: of getting the apartment are long gone. Two hundred collective

497
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: dollars we spent on application fees down the drain. On

498
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: day two of silence, I get a text from my

499
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: sister asking me to let her know when I'm home

500
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 1: the text was odd because she'd never asked me that before,

501
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: unless it's something serious. I was out of dinner with

502
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,959
Speaker 1: my husband and our friend, trying to cheer me up

503
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 1: from the stress of being ghosted by my mom. A

504
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: text from my mom pops up on my screen. I'm

505
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: so sorry, please forgive me. Now, I'm in panic mode.

506
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: I immediately ask if she's okay. No respons My sister calls.

507
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: She's with my uncle, who tiptoes around something he obviously

508
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 1: wants to say. I'm so worried. I ask him to

509
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 1: cut to the chase and just tell me what's going on.

510
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,920
Speaker 1: To make a long conversation short. She confessed she doesn't

511
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 1: want to proceed with the divorce. Who's giving him another shot.

512
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 1: I'm in shock, barely listening at this point, my shock

513
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:22,400
Speaker 1: turns to anger. Tears so much reservice trauma, stress brought

514
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,679
Speaker 1: on during my pregnancy, henchhin put onto my marriage effort,

515
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 1: putting into filing papers for weeks of looking for apartments,

516
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: countless house and tears to put my best foot forward

517
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 1: to support her down the drink. She couldn't even say

518
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: it to me or my sister directly. She had her

519
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: uncles tell us out of fear of our reaction, fear

520
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: of us, her daughters, who despite it all, ride with her,

521
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: comforted her, and stuck by her. So that brings us

522
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 1: to present day. Two days since I heard the news.

523
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: I'm having a mix of emotions and feeling something different

524
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: every hour. One minute I want to cancel my baby

525
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 1: shower to avoid her completely. The next I thought, to

526
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: heck with it, I deserve it. This is to celebrate

527
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 1: our unborn child. Hauntstant sobbing, rational, venting, exhaustion. Some moments,

528
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: me and my sister catch herselves grieving the relationships we

529
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 1: once had with her, because nothing will be the same

530
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 1: from this point forward. If it was just another fight

531
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 1: and another trip around the same cycle, I wouldn't be

532
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: writing this post. But it went so far this time

533
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: it felt real. It felt like there was a world

534
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: where I could raise a daughter that wouldn't know my

535
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: stepdad's face or name. I feel betrayed and once again

536
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 1: like she picked him over my sister and me. He won.

537
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: Will we more in our relationship with her. She's on

538
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: a cruise, living her best life. My anger for them

539
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,919
Speaker 1: both has boiled over so much that I'm debating cutting

540
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: them both off altogether. My sister insists on moving up

541
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: here to the state I live in on her own,

542
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 1: leaving my mom to deal with our stepdad by herself

543
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 1: so she can finally stop living for our mom and

544
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: live her life for her own sake. Despite my mixed emotions,

545
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 1: the one I keep coming back to is betrayal and anger.

546
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 1: I've debated going no contact with only my stepdad, and

547
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: I've debated going no contact with both my stepdad and

548
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 1: my mom. I can't even bear the thought of her

549
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,199
Speaker 1: being in the delivery room with me. My uncles are

550
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 1: encouraging me to forgive and forget and respect her decision,

551
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 1: but I just can't rational coming back from this like

552
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 1: everything is okay and nothing happened. If you made it

553
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 1: this far, thank you. Yeah. I think you need to

554
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: go no contact and just tell her like or it's not.

555
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 3: Really I would say limited only on the terms that

556
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 3: she can reach out if she needs exactly.

557
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: I agree. I agree. Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here.

558
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories.

559
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 3: But here's a quick three minute break from as for

560
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 3: more sponsors. My friend ditched me for strangers. Now I'm

561
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 3: rethinking our friendship that's not a true friend. I nineteen

562
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 3: female and my boyfriend, nineteen male, are a part of

563
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 3: a rather large friend group, currently a fourteen person group

564
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 3: chat with other people, sometimes invited to events. As you

565
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 3: might suspect, I am not close with all of these people.

566
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 3: There are two or three that I consider very close,

567
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 3: but the rest are mostly acquaintances. By the way, this

568
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 3: comes from Quiet Animal Girl on the Charlotte do Bray

569
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 3: YouTube subreddit, and if you want to submit your own stories,

570
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly,

571
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon.

572
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: The group was.

573
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 3: Formed in twenty twenty three when I was invited to

574
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 3: a party a couple of months after my high school graduation.

575
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,959
Speaker 1: I had one really good friend, let's call her Carly.

576
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 1: Way did you read this?

577
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 3: Did you know let's call her Carly. With a c

578
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 3: attending and a couple of acquaintances, I thought, what the heck,

579
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 3: this will be a way to meet some more people

580
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,680
Speaker 3: now that the heck called high school is over. Albeit

581
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 3: all of these people went to my high school, we

582
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 3: just hadn't really talked due to being in different classes.

583
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 3: One person in particular, I'll call him Bolton, nineteen mail

584
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 3: I had never met at school, but over time we

585
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 3: grew really close. Since that initial party, we slowly expanded

586
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 3: the group as people went to UNI and Bolton met

587
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 3: people he had been friends with online or in primary school.

588
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 3: Bolton is actually how I met my boyfriend. They had

589
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 3: gone to primary school together, hadn't seen each other in years,

590
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 3: but had mutual friends going to my boyfriend's high school.

591
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 3: My boyfriend and these mutual friends were invited to Bolton's

592
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 3: eighteenth birthday party. My boyfriend didn't go because he was

593
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 3: too nervous to meet new people, but we ended up

594
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 3: meeting at one of the mutual's nineteenth birthday parties due

595
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 3: to me becoming friends with him. It's complicated, I know.

596
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 3: I hope it's making sense so far. My boyfriend and

597
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 3: I got together a couple of months later and have

598
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 3: now been dating for over a year. I love him

599
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 3: very much. In December of twenty twenty four, eleven of

600
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 3: the twelve group chat members the group has since expanded,

601
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,440
Speaker 3: went on a small trip three hours from where we

602
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 3: live for a few nights. The trip was fine. Nothing

603
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,119
Speaker 3: significant happened in terms of group drama. However, in the

604
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 3: months following, I have felt myself becoming more distant from

605
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 3: most of them and not really feeling like a part

606
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 3: of the group. A majority of these people play video

607
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 3: games and communicate via discord on a regular basis, including

608
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 3: my boyfriend, who seems to have grown closer while I

609
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 3: drift further away. I don't play video games and have

610
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 3: no interest in them. I have tried participating in a

611
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 3: couple with them in the past, but it wasn't really

612
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 3: my thing. I also don't have a PC like the

613
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 3: rest of them, so can't participate in lots of the

614
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 3: gaming even if I wanted to. Considering how often they

615
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 3: are all online and talking with each other, it is

616
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 3: unsurprising that they are closer and have inside joke, but

617
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 3: I don't know what I am able to do about that.

618
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 3: In my country, we are all of drinking age, and

619
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 3: my friends like to have parties or events where they

620
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 3: essentially just get wasted and maybe go get McDonald's. I

621
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 3: don't really drink, and I don't like being around people

622
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 3: who are wasted, which makes these parties boring and frustrating

623
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 3: because either I have to take care of someone or

624
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 3: I just sit on my phone. This added to the

625
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 3: inside joke and talk about video games or anime makes

626
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 3: me feel like I have nothing in common with these

627
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 3: people and like I'm not even a part of the group.

628
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,719
Speaker 1: I don't think you are.

629
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 3: My closest friends are Bolton and Carly. However, they both

630
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 3: have their issues, as I'm sure I do too, but

631
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 3: they really get to me sometimes. Bolton is sometimes late

632
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 3: and bad at communicating, while Carly is terrible at applying

633
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 3: to messages and is always late.

634
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 1: They live very.

635
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 3: Close to each other, and Bolton usually picks Carly up

636
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 3: to drive her to making him late too. With my

637
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 3: personal values, I find both these things disrespectful to my

638
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 3: time and my planning. I have anxiety, which they both

639
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 3: know about, and planning is very important to keeping me calm.

640
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 3: I have been trying not to let it get to me,

641
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 3: as I still valued them as friends and didn't feel

642
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 3: like they were big enough issues to end the friendship.

643
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 3: Over a few weeks ago, I mentioned to Bolton that

644
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 3: the upcoming weeks and months would be quite busy as

645
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 3: I was covering for a colleague at work and about

646
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 3: to start my studies. I then messaged Bolton, Carly, and

647
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 3: our high school friend Daria about taking a drive to

648
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 3: visit Daria, as we don't get to see her very often,

649
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 3: and I knew that I had very little time before

650
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 3: I'd be completely busy with work, study, and family and boyfriend.

651
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 3: I received interest from all three of them, except Carly

652
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 3: wasn't sure if it would clash with her work as

653
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 3: she hadn't received her roster, and Bolton had a friend

654
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 3: arriving from interstate that morning let's call them Easton, who

655
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 3: he was picking up from the airport. From Bolton's messages,

656
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 3: his only commitment to Easton was picking him up and

657
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 3: dropping him off at a partner's place. Someone in the

658
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 3: group chat who will call Flynn, allowing them to spend

659
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,959
Speaker 3: the day together. Not long after, I received a message

660
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 3: from Bolton asking if Easton and Flynn could join us

661
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 3: in visiting Daria. I said that I'd prefer to keep

662
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 3: it small and just our high school friends, but that

663
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 3: I couldn't speak for what Carly and Daria wanted. I

664
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 3: have never met Easton before and am not close with Flynn,

665
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 3: so felt anxious about the prospect of them joining us,

666
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 3: but particularly because I just wanted to spend some uninterrupted

667
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 3: time with Daria, as I don't see her often and

668
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 3: don't want to have to worry about meeting someone new.

669
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 3: Bolton then said he'd spend the day with Easton and Flynn,

670
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 3: but we were welcome to hang out without him if

671
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 3: that was still the plan. Parley then got her roster

672
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 3: and was due at work that day, so she also canceled.

673
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 3: I had to message Daria asking if we could reschedule

674
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 3: since the others couldn't make it. However, I ended up

675
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 3: apologizing to her as I felt bad for canceling on

676
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 3: her and we had to do something by ourselves another time.

677
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 3: We have yet to decide on a day, as she

678
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 3: hasn't responded to my last couple of messages. Since this,

679
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 3: I have been quite upset with Bolton for canceling on us.

680
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 3: It might sound selfish, but it felt like he would

681
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,479
Speaker 3: rather third wheel than hang out with me and our

682
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 3: other friends. It especially hurt given that he knew how

683
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 3: busy I was with work and study. I understand that

684
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 3: he had Easton visiting, who he doesn't see very often,

685
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 3: but with how busy I've been, he talks to me

686
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 3: even less. At least they have gaming through which they

687
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 3: can communicate. I told my boyfriend about this because I

688
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 3: was really upset about it. He initially said I should

689
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 3: have let Easton and Flynn join us, however quickly sided

690
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 3: with me when I informed him that I had never

691
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 3: met or talked to Easton and believed Carly and Daria

692
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 3: to have had minimal contact with him as well. My

693
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,959
Speaker 3: boyfriend was then invited by Flynn to join him, Bolton,

694
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 3: and Easton in visiting Daria the day after my canceled

695
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 3: plans while I was to be at work. Turns out,

696
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 3: Daria had met Easton several times whilst gaming, seeing concerts

697
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 3: in his state, and she wanted to see him, knowing

698
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 3: about their cancelation. My boyfriend said no out of respect

699
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 3: for me, and was invited to a dinner the night

700
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 3: before instead so he could meet Easton in person. After

701
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 3: gaming a couple of times, my boyfriend ended up mentioning

702
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 3: to Bolton that he should apologize to me for canceling

703
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 3: and for making plans the day after with Daria, but

704
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 3: to wait until after our one year anniversary. So the

705
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 3: morning after my anniversary, I woke up next to my boyfriend,

706
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 3: looked at my phone and saw three long messages from Bolton,

707
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 3: casually saying sorry. For poor communication and justifying why he

708
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 3: canceled on me. I have Life three sixty with a

709
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 3: lot of the group and could see that Bolton didn't

710
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 3: end up spending the day with Easton and Flynn before

711
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 3: the dinner that night.

712
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 1: You can't lie to people who have your location.

713
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 3: That's just silly, which made me feel even worse as

714
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 3: he had essentially canceled on me for nothing. That night,

715
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 3: my boyfriend ended up finding out that Bolton had been

716
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 3: telling other people, which added to how upset I was

717
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 3: as I believed it to be a private matter. I

718
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 3: didn't end up responding to Bolton's message until a week later,

719
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 3: as I needed time to think and calm down. When

720
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 3: I did, I carefully drafted a message that would hopefully

721
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 3: convey my hurt without upsetting him. In return, however, I

722
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 3: was met with another not so great apology and justifications.

723
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 3: Since then, I have not said anything else as I

724
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 3: need some space to decide if this is a friendship

725
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 3: I want to keep and if it's worth fighting for

726
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 3: as it was already on the rock.

727
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 1: My last thought is no, They're not no worth it.

728
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 3: You need more friends For new friends.

729
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: Sometimes your friends kind of suck and you realize, Ah,

730
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 1: these aren't people that I have anything in common with,

731
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,359
Speaker 1: and you don't. It's okay, Yeah, like they're not cool,

732
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:35,439
Speaker 1: they're not nice.

733
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 3: That leads us to now. In less than a week

734
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 3: is Carly's twentieth birthday party. The entire friend group is invited,

735
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 3: including Bolton, my boyfriend, and I. On one hand, I

736
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 3: want to be there for Carly, but on the other hand,

737
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 3: I hate drinking and being around wasted people, and I

738
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 3: suspect Bolan will want to talk to me.

739
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 1: I am still.

740
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 3: Emotional and don't think that would be fair on Carle

741
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 3: as I'd probably cry due to this. I think it

742
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 3: is best that I don't attend. However, I don't want

743
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 3: to take my boyfriend away as they are his friends too,

744
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 3: so he is going and I will just spend some

745
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 3: time with my mom instead. I am not sure what

746
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:10,360
Speaker 3: to do about the entire situation. Am I overreacting? Was

747
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 3: I being selfish? Do I try to fix things with Bolton?

748
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: What is your advice?

749
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 3: I think we gave a lot of it. Yeah, new friends,

750
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 3: new friends, new friends.

751
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 1: With your boyfriend. Seems like that's good. My parents sent

752
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 1: my sister to a camp and used my money for it.

753
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 2: I feel like you should have to go too now right.

754
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: Trigger warning for extremeia and conversion camp. I work as

755
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,480
Speaker 1: a computer engineer and live away from my parents. I

756
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 1: moved out when I was eighteen, not because we had

757
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: a particularly distant relationship, but because I was very hungry

758
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 1: for independence and I didn't want to go to college

759
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 1: like they wanted me to. I fell in love with

760
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: programming and got a job a month after I graduated,

761
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: and I've done that since. By the way, this comes

762
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: from very very very upset to too too, And you

763
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 1: can submit your own stories on the r slash. Okay, storytime,

764
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: separate it. I'm Sophia and I'm Angie, and ohp says

765
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: I am extremely frugal and I now make about seventy

766
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: K year after taxes. Dang nice noise looked jew go

767
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,479
Speaker 1: mister money mustache. Both my parents are in traditional white

768
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: collar jobs that make significantly more money than I do,

769
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: and they are horrific with money. When I was growing up,

770
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 1: my parents were semi religious, church on Easter and Christmas

771
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: type of deal. Okay, so they're just Christmas Catholics, yeah,

772
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 1: and not particularly invested in it or politics. Somewhere in

773
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: the last three or four years they became interested in it,

774
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 1: and in the last year in particular, regarding the last

775
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 1: election especially, they have become some of the most religious

776
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: and over focused political people I've ever seen. I have

777
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: tried distancing myself from this by refusing to talk about

778
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 1: these issues over the phone at all. I could not

779
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 1: disagree more with them. I think they have some very

780
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: hateful views, but I've chosen not to engage them on it.

781
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 1: Growing up, I was not close to my younger sister,

782
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: and mainly because of our age gap. However, she has

783
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: grown up and is very pleasant to speak to. We

784
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 1: have spoken on the phone daily. I speak to mom

785
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 1: and dad much less frequently. Since she was around fourteen.

786
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: I have not been exposed to too much of this

787
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 1: because I intentionally tell both sides I don't want to

788
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: talk about their drama. Although I'm generally clear with my

789
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: sister that I agree with her, but I don't want

790
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:19,800
Speaker 1: to bad mouth for parents. My sister is a sapphok,

791
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: which I have no issue with whatsoever, and my parents

792
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:27,919
Speaker 1: do not or did not know and would immediately be against. Ooh.

793
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 1: Now I'm wondering what type of camp they're sending her to.

794
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, that's the first kind of camp that

795
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:34,359
Speaker 2: came to mind.

796
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,399
Speaker 1: That was the first time that came to my mind. Yeah.

797
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: But then I was like, oh, well, they're using money

798
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 1: for me.

799
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 2: It's going to be a regular like summer camp, right.

800
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like you should sue them if they

801
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: stole your money to pay for that kind of camp. Honestly,

802
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: we talked about this quite often. My sister also has

803
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 1: political views completely at odds with my parents. She was

804
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: in trouble for not supporting their favorite political candidate you

805
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 1: can probably guess who. But I encouraged her to swallow

806
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 1: it and suck it up at home for her safety insanity.

807
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 1: She mentioned a few times in the last two months

808
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 1: about wanting to come out to them, and I highly

809
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: highly discouraged it. I have heard both of my parents

810
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,800
Speaker 1: approve of a pastor who disowned is attracted to the

811
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 1: same gender son, and similar stories. I didn't want them

812
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 1: to do that to her. I have offered to let

813
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,719
Speaker 1: her live with me when she turns eighteen, but imagine

814
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: that being in the future. I made her promise not

815
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:29,240
Speaker 1: to do that, and she did. On her sixteenth birthday,

816
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 1: she came out to them. I was a little angry

817
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: with her over the phone. I didn't curse her, scream

818
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 1: or anything, but I was annoyed, but with sympathy for

819
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: her position. I did chide her a bit, which I

820
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,360
Speaker 1: acknowledge was dumb. She was extremely mad at me and

821
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: didn't call me for four days, which was a long

822
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: time for us to not speak. We spoke afterwards, and

823
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 1: I was much better, but things weren't going well. They

824
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 1: didn't punt her out, but weren't speaking to her at all. Literally,

825
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: she was screaming at them, and they just quietly went

826
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,120
Speaker 1: to the rooms, not saying a word, Which is it's

827
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,280
Speaker 1: crazy for people who have kind of most of Ope's

828
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 1: life not been religious. Yeah, Like these people are going

829
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: to Mass on Christmas in Yaster, literally and that's it.

830
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 2: And then it's just yeah, because it's like even though

831
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 2: they seemed to be diving more into those same kind

832
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 2: of conservative views, like, that's still it's like you still

833
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 2: can't use your religious background for a reason for that.

834
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: No, absolutely, that's my point. It's like one shouldn't do

835
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: that even if you are religious too. They just got religious. Yeah,

836
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 1: so it's even more confusing. Exactly, they don't even have

837
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: a lake to stand on here right. I offered to

838
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 1: speak to them for her, and she begged me not to,

839
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:39,919
Speaker 1: so I did not. Against my better judgment, my dad

840
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,399
Speaker 1: a week later called me over the phone. He said

841
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: that he was sick and needed emergency money to have

842
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: a procedure. Why do I think that's a lie? I

843
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 1: do I know what they're doing. He begged me not

844
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: to tell Mom or my sister he needed about twenty

845
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 1: grand I had refused the money in the past for

846
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 1: a car loan and made it clear that I wasn't

847
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: giving the money. But I did for this, cautious but

848
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 1: ultimately trusting him not to lie about his own potential passing.

849
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 1: I disagreed with him about a lot of things, but

850
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 1: he had always been so stadfast about the importance of

851
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: honesty that thought of him lying about something like that

852
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 1: seemed ridiculous, and I felt guilty for even thinking that.

853
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 1: About another week after that, my sister stopped calling me.

854
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 1: Oh no, I thought she was mad again for some reason,

855
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 1: but she didn't answer at all. Oh no, I'm so scared.

856
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: I was worried. I called my parents and asked about

857
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 1: her after about a week, and they said she was

858
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: being moody. They're lying. I thought they thought I didn't

859
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 1: know about her identity or what was going on. I

860
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,240
Speaker 1: checked my Facebook that night and I read a day's

861
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 1: old message from one of her friends that explained that

862
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 1: she had been trying to reach me and that my

863
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 1: sister was taken from her house into a van and

864
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 1: driven off by men in a program with her and

865
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,840
Speaker 1: my parents there before punting the friend out of the house.

866
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, my god, these parents should be arrested.

867
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,720
Speaker 1: I think any parent that sends their child to conversion

868
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: camp should be arrested.

869
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 3: Yeah.

870
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 1: I think that's child absolutely, This is like no, literally

871
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: is no. Yeah, it's just oh my god.

872
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 2: And also that's just so terrifying for too to be

873
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 2: taken away in a van by just random men when.

874
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: She's sixteen years old. Well there's other camps too. They're

875
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 1: just like outdoor camps, you know. I don't know, they're

876
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 1: not specifically conversion camps, but it's like if your kid

877
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 1: is acting up, uh huh, these certain parents will send

878
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 1: their kids to these outdoor school things, which is the

879
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 1: same thing where you get parted off in the middle

880
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 1: of the night and then you're not allowed to reach

881
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: out to people and they it's like terrible.

882
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,320
Speaker 2: Yeah that ever, it absolutely is terrible. I think like

883
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 2: that would only be reasonable if, like, I don't know,

884
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 2: the kid.

885
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 1: Was like a danger tugs or something. But even then,

886
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: these camps are not helping them. It's like the whole

887
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 1: thing of like holes, you know, right right, seeing that,

888
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:52,240
Speaker 1: like it's a little.

889
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 3: Bit like that.

890
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, the only thing I'm mostly focusing on, like that

891
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 2: sure method of taking them away.

892
00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: I mean that's just so yeah, so danger ammatized a

893
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: child that, like in this situation, has done nothing wrong. Yeah,

894
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: her friend visited my parents' house several times, and they

895
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 1: eventually told her they sent her to a religious program.

896
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,959
Speaker 1: She didn't get the name. I called up my father

897
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: and he denied it twice before admitting it after a

898
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: long talk. I was so angry. They seriously have these

899
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 1: religious camps that parents can send teens to any time

900
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 1: without committing a crime forever. I mean, he did commit

901
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 1: a crime. He stole your money. Yeah, I didn't think

902
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 1: it had anything to do with the money, but I

903
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: looked it up after that and found out that these

904
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,919
Speaker 1: programs are generally very expensive. I called him up again

905
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 1: and he admitted that's where the money went. I demanded

906
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: that he let her out, and he told me it

907
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 1: was his money. That's so funny. Oh, that's so funny.

908
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.

909
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: I told him i'd never speak to him again, and

910
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 1: he just ignored me. I tried calling him every few

911
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: hours for the last several days when I found out,

912
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,240
Speaker 1: and they ignore almost all of my calls. He intentionally

913
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 1: didn't tell me the name of the facility or camp.

914
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,760
Speaker 1: But I've done reading and these are almost always dangerous places.

915
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: I don't even know if she's in the US anymore.

916
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 1: People pass away and get brainwashed at these places. I

917
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: feel so guilty for giving them the ability.

918
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 3: To do this.

919
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: I don't know the name of the camp, and I

920
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:17,359
Speaker 1: did technically give them the money. My only recourse at

921
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: this point is to go tell everyone in their neighborhood

922
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: what they did. I saw a Facebook post they made

923
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 1: about sending my sister to a snooty Christian boarding school,

924
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 1: and that's not what they did. I called the school

925
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: they posted, and she isn't going there. They're very connected

926
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: to the church suburban town community, and I think it

927
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: would threaten them to have their image splattered with the truth.

928
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 1: I would completely disown them. Now if it wasn't completely

929
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 1: destroying my chances of getting her out, I'm at a loss.

930
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 1: Please help me. And there are some relevant comments. Oh

931
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,479
Speaker 1: my gosh, I mean right away, I think you could

932
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 1: legally get at them. Yeah, because they lie to you

933
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 1: about the money. Yeah, that was under false pretenses. You

934
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 1: thought that you were giving it to your father a

935
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 1: medical procedure. It was not being used in that way.

936
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 3: Right.

937
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,919
Speaker 1: It's tricky because he doesn't probably have any written yeah

938
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: statements saying that. Unfortunately, it's very hard to get a

939
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: child out of this situation when the parents agree to it, right,

940
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: So like, yeply it would be really hard for you

941
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: to get her out of it.

942
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,839
Speaker 2: Do we know how far away?

943
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 1: Oh he is from the parents?

944
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 2: Just like thinking, like if they're not answering calls or

945
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,960
Speaker 2: text or anything like that, Like I'm thinking I'm gonna.

946
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: Go to them, Yeah, I yah, definitely start there. I

947
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 1: mean go to them to try to talk to them

948
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: at all. Record the conversation, see, like because he'll probably

949
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 1: admit that that was your money that he used for that,

950
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: and then he doesn't have a medical reason. I record it,

951
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, you said that you were using that

952
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 1: to like save your life or like remind me why

953
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 1: you know I gave you the money? Why? Yeah? Relevant

954
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: Commons says, this is very, very difficult under the law

955
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 1: in most of the US most of the world, parents

956
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,240
Speaker 1: have a right to decide how to raise their minor children.

957
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: There are some facilities for brainwashing people out of being

958
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 1: attracted to the same gender, which are so horrific that

959
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,320
Speaker 1: I have little better terms to describe them other than torture.

960
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: In fact, a couple of US states have actually passed

961
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,760
Speaker 1: laws against these places, but that doesn't help much. Because

962
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,240
Speaker 1: parents have a right to send their children to someplace

963
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 1: else that doesn't have such a restriction, there is very

964
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 1: little you can do about it legally. On the other hand,

965
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: there is a major legal issue where you do have leverage.

966
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 1: From your description, it sounds like there is plausible argument

967
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 1: that your father committed fraud to scam you out of

968
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 1: twenty thousand dollars. Yes, yeah, I think that's the only

969
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:50,359
Speaker 1: way that OPI can actually do something here. Something. If

970
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 1: you pursue this, there is a decent chance that you

971
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: could get law enforcement involved, and it is not impossible

972
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 1: that your father could be convicted of a felony. For

973
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 1: such a fraud, you certainly could sue to get the

974
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 1: money back, and could probably get a judgment to garnish

975
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 1: his wages, seize his bank accounts, and so forth until

976
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: you've been repaid. The most obvious thing to do would

977
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,800
Speaker 1: be Dad, pull my sister out of that program and

978
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: either let her live with you or else send her

979
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:16,879
Speaker 1: to live with me. If you don't, then I'll press

980
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 1: charges and get you thrown in prison for fraud. Don't

981
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 1: do that, because that would be blackmail, at least I

982
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 1: think it would, depending on the exact wording. With a

983
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: very careful approach, it may be possible, depending on the

984
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,359
Speaker 1: exact details of the law on blackmail in your state,

985
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 1: which I do not know well enough to advise you on,

986
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:36,280
Speaker 1: to get that same message across without actually committing blackmail.

987
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 1: If I were to do such a thing, I would

988
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: probably find a lawyer who could help me figure out

989
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: how to use this without committing a felony of your own. Because,

990
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 1: if I understand you correctly, you are not happy about

991
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: the twenty thousand dollars, but your real concern is for

992
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: your sister. My heart goes out to you and her,

993
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: and I wish you the best of fortune and a

994
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: successful outcome. I mean, I don't think he would have

995
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 1: given the money if he couldn't afford it, so, like,

996
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,080
Speaker 1: you know, obviously this was an extreme case, but I

997
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,359
Speaker 1: really obviously it's not about the money. Yeah.

998
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 2: He did mention towards the beginning that he was genuinely

999
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 2: responsible with money, yeah, or like general's a good saver.

1000
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's clearly it's not about the money. It's

1001
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,279
Speaker 1: about his sister, and if this is the only way

1002
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 1: that he can get his sister back, then yeah. Absolutely. Yeah,

1003
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's worth mentioning that. I do have

1004
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: two texts of him mentioning the need for money for

1005
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 1: the emergency, and a short voicemail of him thanking me

1006
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 1: for the money. That's great. Yeah, I mean it's difficult

1007
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 1: because the emergency could be interpreted in different ways. I

1008
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:33,879
Speaker 1: guess so, but yeah, definitely talk to a lawyer. Yeah.

1009
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: I don't know whether that would constitute prove or not,

1010
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,760
Speaker 1: but I assume so. I would assume that he wouldn't

1011
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 1: be able to get a refund for the money anyway,

1012
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: and therefore unable to have the financial stuff to get

1013
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 1: her out. Quicker without going the quasi blackmail route. So

1014
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. Thank you very much, mastermind says, I

1015
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: have a very strong feeling that you should just look

1016
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: for a lawyer because nothing that we recommend should be

1017
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 1: taken into consideration due to the serious nature of the situation.

1018
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 1: Find a lawyer to discuss if there is anyone I

1019
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: had to gain custody of your sister. Then talk to

1020
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:04,879
Speaker 1: a GSA of some sort and find out what type

1021
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: of trauma she might end up dealing with and what

1022
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: to do if you get her, because who knows what

1023
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 1: they could be doing to her, And there is an update,

1024
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 1: but yeah, let's get into it, because yeah, I just

1025
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: need her to get out of that I desperately do.

1026
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:21,280
Speaker 1: Two days later, I got an incredible amount of varying

1027
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 1: advice and support that I really appreciate. I explain the

1028
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: situation to my boss, who was very supportive and gave

1029
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:29,360
Speaker 1: me some time off without an issue to deal with this.

1030
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 1: Last night, I left home and drove to them. They

1031
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,359
Speaker 1: live in another part of Florida, but we all live there,

1032
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 1: and tried having a rational conversation with them before I

1033
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: took it. I pointed out the things I was learning

1034
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 1: was regularly at these communities. I told them all the

1035
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,320
Speaker 1: stuff I've learned about these places. I demonstrated that it

1036
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't even change her identity or opinion, and they just

1037
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,839
Speaker 1: called me a liar or ignored me. I have never

1038
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,879
Speaker 1: seen my parents in a lower regard. I didn't even

1039
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 1: bring up the money because I had a feeling that

1040
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: if I mentioned it, he would punt me out. Both

1041
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: of them seemed incredibly nonchal about the entire thing. Then

1042
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:05,840
Speaker 1: I made an appointment with a lawyer and then later another.

1043
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: Both of them were LGBT friendly and had at least

1044
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: some experience with similar situations, and both spent about an

1045
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,800
Speaker 1: hour and explaining to me how I am completely legally

1046
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 1: screwed due to the nature of the gift and how

1047
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 1: it won't be interpreted as condition, and that I have

1048
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 1: absolutely zero legal grounds and getting my sister out, and

1049
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 1: that without even the name of the place, I can

1050
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 1: literally do nothing. I'm completely screwed. No, well that's not great,

1051
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: this is heartbreaking. It's terrible. Oh my god, I do

1052
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:39,439
Speaker 1: want to say, like, just props pe for finding out

1053
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: four days after it happened and doing literally everything in

1054
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: his power to get his sister out of there, right.

1055
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 1: I feel like if legally you can't do anything, like

1056
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 1: I mean, don't stop fighting for sure, I feel like

1057
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 1: what you could possibly do now is like try to

1058
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: get research and get you know, articles talking about it,

1059
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 1: talking about it, like anything that you can get that

1060
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 1: talks about any sort of conversion therapy and present that

1061
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 1: to them and be like, regardless of if you know

1062
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,400
Speaker 1: she's or not, this is what's happening to her.

1063
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, like she is hurting. Yeah, you know what I mean, Like,

1064
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 2: because it is like torture.

1065
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 1: Maybe talk to other pastors and stuff, like people who

1066
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 1: would be on your side. Yeah, because there are a

1067
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 1: lot of like religious people who are very against this, right.

1068
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 1: So like, if you can get people who can kind

1069
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: of speak their language.

1070
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 2: Right, dude, find Bible verses, Yeah, I'd be like, God, yeah,

1071
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 2: this is all saying that's bad. Exactly.

1072
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 1: One drilled into me that I should not post about

1073
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 1: this to their friends or it may make any legal

1074
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: action that could be possible later impossible. But both basically

1075
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: told me there wasn't a thing to be done. I

1076
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:48,879
Speaker 1: was at my wits end, and I had a last

1077
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 1: ditch plant. I drove back to my father's home and

1078
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 1: told him I would give him my remaining savings around

1079
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 1: sixty five K. But I lied and said fifty five K,

1080
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 1: so i'd have something if he took her out of

1081
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,239
Speaker 1: the camp and her to live with me. I was

1082
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 1: amazed that he would even consider it, because I'd always

1083
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 1: considered him such a high moral figure. But he stepped

1084
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 1: in the room with my mother for five minutes and

1085
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 1: said yes, but only if I do not involve the police.

1086
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 1: I told him he would need to sign a contract

1087
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 1: and wait a few days, and he told me he

1088
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 1: may not have an issue with that, needs to think,

1089
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 1: but did not want her legally in my name, but

1090
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:23,360
Speaker 1: she can live with me because he doesn't want to

1091
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 1: be on the bill for child support. I wanted to

1092
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 1: spit in his face, but I refrained. This just happened

1093
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 1: less than an hour ago. I made another appointment with

1094
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,800
Speaker 1: another attorney tomorrow, but I don't think that this is possible,

1095
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,359
Speaker 1: and I may not show up to his office. If

1096
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: I give him the money without any obligation to return it,

1097
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 1: he would just take it and do nothing. My idea

1098
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 1: at the moment is to agree to give them money

1099
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 1: without a contract as soon as she's out and back

1100
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: at the house I see her and then take her

1101
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: and move to another state with her until she graduates.

1102
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: I can keep working in my current job from online

1103
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,319
Speaker 1: until I get a new one. My father basically gave

1104
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 1: the impression that he had completely disowned her anyway, and

1105
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 1: I don't think he would spend the money a second

1106
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 1: time to get her in another place. But obviously I'm

1107
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 1: just guessing. Obviously I cannot have a legal contract written

1108
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: where I buy custody of a minor. Can I have

1109
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:09,400
Speaker 1: one where they promise not to send her to another

1110
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 1: institution like that? Like she must go to and graduate

1111
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: from ex high school or something, or you must return

1112
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 1: the money. Is there anything I can do to make

1113
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 1: this work in a way where she's out and with me,

1114
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 1: whether in my name, with custody or not, and they

1115
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:24,440
Speaker 1: don't have legal grounds to come and track us down

1116
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 1: and cent her somewhere else. This sounds insane, but I'm insane.

1117
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:31,200
Speaker 1: I'm so worried. I'm vomiting randomly from guilt and stress.

1118
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 1: I can't sleep, so I'm going to down a few

1119
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,320
Speaker 1: sleeping pills so I can go to bed. Thank you

1120
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:38,880
Speaker 1: very much, You've helped me immensely. It's disgusting how much

1121
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:42,479
Speaker 1: the legal system can screw over innocent teens. I've never

1122
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:45,280
Speaker 1: felt more angry during a Fourth of July in my life.

1123
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:47,720
Speaker 1: I don't know how we can profess freedom when stuff

1124
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,879
Speaker 1: like this still happens and is legally justifiable. I mean, yeah,

1125
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 1: definitely keep going back to your lawyers, TOLLM. You got

1126
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 1: this new plan. Yeah, see what you can do? Yeah,

1127
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:01,880
Speaker 1: but wow, right, such a terrible, terrible situation.

1128
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 2: Maybe something you can do somehow as be like okay, yeah,

1129
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:07,880
Speaker 2: like I said, fifty five K, but like because of

1130
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 2: this and this and this, like we need to make

1131
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,800
Speaker 2: these adjustments to our agreement or else it'll I'll.

1132
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 1: Give you half.

1133
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 2: I'll actually only give you your twenty more K. Well,

1134
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 2: I don't know, but that would still be they still

1135
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 2: might just take that.

1136
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Edit, We met and he detailed to me how

1137
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 1: I can easily go to jail with my plan and

1138
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,839
Speaker 1: just how dumb it is. I'm not giving them any money.

1139
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 1: But he made it clear that I have no legal

1140
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 1: recourse to get hurt. This lawyer is useless. There's nothing

1141
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,360
Speaker 1: I can do legally that will go anywhere. He advised

1142
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,800
Speaker 1: me to try and settle this from a civil perspective.

1143
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 1: They won't listen to reason. I've never hated anyone more

1144
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 1: than them. I feel like I fell in a black hole.

1145
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 1: I don't see any way out. Oh my goodness, there's

1146
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:46,920
Speaker 1: an update twenty five days later. Oh my god, we're

1147
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 1: getting close to the end of the story, and I

1148
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 1: really hope that he gets her out of there. Yeahs terrifying, because.

1149
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 2: Here's the thing. Okay, if you can't technically do anything

1150
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 2: legal against the dad for that twenty k that op

1151
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 2: he gave to him, then it's like, I feel like

1152
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 2: you could still do something.

1153
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 4: Here, Like sure, I mean a lawyer probably wouldn't like

1154
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 4: an I can't do it, But I'm like, this is

1155
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 4: the only way I would absolutely give my parents, you know, right,

1156
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:12,920
Speaker 4: the money.

1157
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 2: I'd just not tell the lawyer, Yeah exactly. I would

1158
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 2: just be part of our conversation. That'd be part of

1159
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 2: my civil you know, way to deal with it.

1160
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's an update twenty five days later. This will

1161
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 1: be a short update, but the situation with my sister

1162
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:29,560
Speaker 1: has ended on a positive no, thank goodness, it has

1163
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 1: been quote unquote resolved. I think the mods will remove this,

1164
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 1: but anyone who wants to know what happened, will be

1165
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 1: able to see currently. I am in the hospital. I

1166
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,240
Speaker 1: initially thought I had a bad flu from stress following

1167
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,040
Speaker 1: the incident, but I wasn't getting better. Yesterday I went

1168
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: to the doctor. She ordered me to the hospital for

1169
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: a spinal tap. I actually contracted bacterial meningitis. Oh so

1170
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 1: I'm not doing so well in that regard. I'm bored

1171
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,320
Speaker 1: and feel like garbage. But I have free time and

1172
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 1: I've been meaning to write because this was just resolved.

1173
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: If this is an entirely COOKI I apologize. My brain

1174
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 1: is obviously a bit fried right now. This is going

1175
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:06,319
Speaker 1: to be horribly shortened. I did not give my father

1176
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 1: any money, and we both basically ended up pretending that

1177
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 1: I never offered the money and that he never theoretically

1178
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 1: accepted it. I found out the camp she was staying

1179
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 1: it my mother frequently needs computer help, and it was

1180
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 1: one of the terribly described religious therapy camps several states away.

1181
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: I found several horror stories online from people who have

1182
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 1: attended this camp, and I showed it to mom and

1183
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 1: dad and found a sympathetic religious figure from the community

1184
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 1: they both respected. I convinced them, after much struggling, to

1185
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 1: go pick her up with me. We did and ended

1186
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 1: up flying there and picking her up with a lot

1187
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 1: of trouble. They didn't want to let me in at

1188
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 1: all and took an extremely long time letting her see us,

1189
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 1: which made my parents very very mad. It's very hard

1190
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:47,360
Speaker 1: to get people out of those camps. Yeah, good that

1191
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 1: you're mad. Of course. They also don't let the kids

1192
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 1: send letters to their parents. Oh, or if they do,

1193
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 1: they're very highly monitored, and it says I'm happy here,

1194
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm having a great time. It's all parents think, Oh,

1195
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: my kid's fine, great, when it's not at all true. Oh,

1196
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 1: I get a lot of these outdoor schools, not specifically

1197
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 1: conversion camps, but just like these camps. They'll take pictures

1198
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 1: and tell the kids that they have to smile or

1199
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 1: do they get like in trouble. Oh my gosh. And

1200
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 1: so you're only like all these parents are only seeing the.

1201
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 2: Best, like right, like this good total isolation.

1202
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 1: Oh. My parents were very upset about the small parts

1203
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 1: of the facility we were allowed to see. They told

1204
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 1: us our sister would lie and that they should go

1205
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:28,719
Speaker 1: without seeing her, which made them matter. I thought we

1206
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:30,800
Speaker 1: were going to have to call the police, but we

1207
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,400
Speaker 1: eventually got her out after many hours spent there. I

1208
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 1: was nervous she would yell at them, but she knew

1209
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: to pretend she had changed without me needing to tell her. Good.

1210
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 1: She's back home as of several days, I'm in the hospital.

1211
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 1: As of yesterday, there is a little bit left to

1212
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 1: the story, but things are turning out well, truly, well enough,

1213
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 1: I well enough, I mean she's out of there. But like,

1214
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 1: genuinely I would never talk to these parents ever again, never, never.

1215
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,240
Speaker 1: I wish that these people could get arrested.

1216
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 2: Right if I was ok, I would be like visiting

1217
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:02,520
Speaker 2: as much as I can for the sister.

1218
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:04,320
Speaker 1: Of Do we know exactly how old she is?

1219
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 2: Well, she was sixteen when she came out, Okay, and

1220
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 2: I don't think this happened. Yeah, so she's probably around sixteen, Yeah, yeah,

1221
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 2: so young. My parents are basically pretending they were tricked

1222
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 2: into the place being a four star resort, and are

1223
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:17,920
Speaker 2: laughing the whole thing off.

1224
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, like they are equal victims in this

1225
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 1: and this was all a wacky adventure where they stole

1226
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 1: my money and sent my sister to harmful conversion prison.

1227
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 1: Me and my sister have disgusted it privately, and we've

1228
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 1: agreed that she will not make any waves until eighteen

1229
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 1: and that she can live with me during college. Sadly,

1230
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 1: we still have two years until then. I despise my

1231
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:41,800
Speaker 1: parents and cannot say a thing to them, which is infuriating.

1232
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:44,760
Speaker 1: I hate the hypocrisy NBS, but we both have to

1233
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 1: swallow it for the moment. I am finished with them

1234
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 1: completely and planned to never speak to them again after

1235
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 1: she's eighteen. Hey, Sam, we're going to get back to

1236
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:52,040
Speaker 1: the stories.

1237
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of bads from her sponsors. My

1238
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 2: mother stole my college funds, so I took her to

1239
00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 2: court arrest her. I twenty one female lost my dad

1240
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 2: suddenly two years ago.

1241
00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:03,880
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

1242
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 2: He struggled with heavy drinking and our relationship wasn't always easy.

1243
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 2: We had drifted apart and weren't in contact for about

1244
00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 2: two years before his passing. When he passed away at

1245
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:14,960
Speaker 2: fifty four, it was still a complete shock since it

1246
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 2: felt so unexpected. By the way, this comes from Adorable

1247
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:20,520
Speaker 2: Axe Lottel and if you can submit your own stories

1248
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. And I'm Angie,

1249
00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, and op says, my dad didn't have any

1250
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 2: other children, My parents were divorced, and I'm an only

1251
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 2: child without much extended family. That meant most of the

1252
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 2: funeral arrangements and estate decisions fell to me at a

1253
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 2: time when I was already grieving. Seeing how much I

1254
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:40,680
Speaker 2: had on my plate, my mom stepped in to help

1255
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 2: by closing his bank account, explaining that there wasn't much

1256
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 2: left in it. I appreciated that support, even though she

1257
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,640
Speaker 2: stayed fairly hands off otherwise, partly because of their history

1258
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 2: together and partly because she's always been a bit distant emotionally.

1259
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:57,040
Speaker 2: Just days after the funeral, she started complaining about my grief.

1260
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 2: She'd ask why I cared when he wasn't a good dad,

1261
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 2: and told me I needed to care about the alive parent,

1262
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 2: not the passed away one.

1263
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 1: I don't actually care at all about you. Yeah, you

1264
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 1: aren't a good parent either, Yeah, not at all.

1265
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 2: Despite our estrangement, I was devastated by his passing. Part

1266
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,480
Speaker 2: of me had always hoped that he'd overcome his regular

1267
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 2: use and returned to us as a changed person. About

1268
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,360
Speaker 2: a month later, my boyfriend twenty seven mail At then

1269
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 2: twenty four, and I were at his apartment collecting some paintings.

1270
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 2: When my mom called from the hospital she had a stroke.

1271
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Due to the VID restrictions, only one

1272
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 2: person could visit, but fortunately she was recovering well despite

1273
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:37,320
Speaker 2: some walking difficulties. My mom stayed hospitalized for about a week.

1274
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 2: On the first day, I was alone at home while

1275
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 2: my boyfriend returned to his place for student teaching obligations.

1276
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 2: That night was terrifying. I'm still grieving my father deeply.

1277
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 2: My mother had nearly passed away, and I had no

1278
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 2: local friends since we'd recently moved, and the VID made

1279
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 2: socializing impossible.

1280
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 1: That's so tough. I mean, you're already isolating, Your partner's

1281
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 1: not there, your dad just pat Yeah, so many things

1282
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:02,840
Speaker 1: all at once. Absolutely.

1283
01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 2: I spent the entire night having panic attacks and depressive episodes.

1284
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,280
Speaker 2: The next day is seeing my struggle. My boyfriend decided

1285
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be alone since he couldn't stay due to school.

1286
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 2: He brought me to his parents' house until my mom

1287
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 2: was discharged. His parents worked from home, so someone was

1288
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:20,440
Speaker 2: always there while he taught. Meanwhile, my mom had her

1289
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 2: boyfriend visiting daily, so she wasn't alone either. Throughout her hospitalization.

1290
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 2: I called and texted daily and visited when possible. I

1291
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 2: can't drive, so I needed transportation. Once she was discharged,

1292
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:34,400
Speaker 2: I returned home to care for her. She refused professional help,

1293
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 2: so I handled everything alone, which was fine by meat.

1294
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 2: Stroke patients often experienced short tempers and memory problems, so

1295
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 2: when she became angry for no apparent reason, I tried

1296
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 2: not to take it personally. After a couple weeks, her

1297
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:48,480
Speaker 2: physical recovery progressed well, but her anger and short temper persisted.

1298
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 2: She constantly argued over trivial matters. Then we had the

1299
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 2: conversation that changed everything. She revealed that she had been

1300
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 2: holding a major grudge because she viewed my staying at

1301
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 2: my boyfriend's during her hospitalation as abandonment.

1302
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 1: What no, huh, There was no one else at home.

1303
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 1: It was just O p a house like you were

1304
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:11,200
Speaker 1: in our house that I wasn't in either. Yeah. I

1305
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:15,000
Speaker 1: feel so abandoned, un abandoned, like what she should be

1306
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 1: keeping the house warm. Yeah.

1307
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:21,600
Speaker 2: I explained my perspective, how I'd called daily, visited when possible,

1308
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:25,440
Speaker 2: and needed emotional support too. She dismissed my feelings entirely,

1309
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 2: calling me an, ungrateful daughter who only cared about the

1310
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:32,680
Speaker 2: pasted away parent, not the alive one. This devastated me

1311
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 2: because it echoed a lifelong pattern where my emotions were

1312
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 2: invalidated as a child, when I was upset, she'd tell.

1313
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,520
Speaker 1: Me to get over it or that it wasn't a

1314
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,200
Speaker 1: big deal. Once, during a panic attack, she shook me

1315
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 1: hard and yelled at me to stop. That'll help a

1316
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 1: panic attack, for sure. I think whenever your mom says

1317
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 1: like you abandon me, you gotta go. No, stop, shut up.

1318
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:55,800
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1319
01:01:56,360 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 2: Yet when my dad's wasted words hurt her feelings, she'd

1320
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,240
Speaker 2: cry to me for comfort. I'd been forced to mature

1321
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,680
Speaker 2: too early because of their dysfunction. Her hurtful words that

1322
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 2: day were the breaking point. I returned to my boyfriends

1323
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 2: for several weeks until it was time to move into

1324
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 2: college dorms. Starting school was overwhelming. I was still grieving badly,

1325
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:21,120
Speaker 2: experiencing frequent panic attacks in the unfamiliar dorm environment. I

1326
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,640
Speaker 2: relied on my college fund, which my dad had established

1327
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 2: when I was born, to pay tuition. My mom controlled

1328
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 2: this fund, and when I texted asking when she'd make

1329
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 2: the payment, she became evasive and repeatedly saying that she'd

1330
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 2: get to it and not to worry. As a payment

1331
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:38,439
Speaker 2: deadline approached, I realized she wasn't going to pay, leaving

1332
01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:41,919
Speaker 2: me facing a fifteen thousand dollars bill with no means

1333
01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 2: to cover it. Ooh, yikes, yike, big yikes. I made

1334
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:49,520
Speaker 2: the difficult decision to drop out. When I told her

1335
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 2: about missing the deadline, she said that she was disappointed

1336
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 2: in me again, and then I couldn't move back home

1337
01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 2: because I stressed her out too much, and that.

1338
01:02:56,680 --> 01:03:01,680
Speaker 1: I was I'm sorry, she's disappointed that you couldn't go

1339
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 1: to school because she didn't pay. Yeah, and also you

1340
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 1: can't move home, even though this whole time she's been

1341
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 1: like where'd you home? Bitterly and you're calling your daughter

1342
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:15,480
Speaker 1: for what? For her not being able to go to

1343
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 1: school that you were supposed to pay for? Yeah what what?

1344
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 1: And like wanting housing from her parent like shocking up?

1345
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1346
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,680
Speaker 2: She also threatened to take my dad's baseball card collection

1347
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:30,400
Speaker 2: and paintings, the only physical mementos i'd retrieved from his apartment.

1348
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:33,520
Speaker 2: I was devastated and ended up living with my boyfriend's

1349
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 2: parents again. After explaining the situation over the next six months,

1350
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 2: I repeatedly tried contacting my mom about college fund and

1351
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:43,880
Speaker 2: getting help with my dad's burial costs, but she never responded.

1352
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:47,120
Speaker 2: My dad remains in an urn at my boyfriend's parents' house.

1353
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 2: She also removed me from her insurance immediately after punting

1354
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 2: me out. Wow, which I discovered painfully when I needed

1355
01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:55,520
Speaker 2: a hospital treatment for a uti.

1356
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,840
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, lady's terrible.

1357
01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:01,880
Speaker 2: This is so much to deal with. The full impact

1358
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:05,440
Speaker 2: hit me gradually. In just over a month, I'd essentially

1359
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 2: lost my entire family and became homeless. If my boyfriend

1360
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 2: had broken up with me, I would have had nowhere

1361
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 2: to go, Thank goodness he didn't. Yeah, honestly. After six months,

1362
01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 2: I decided to attend community college and made one final

1363
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 2: attempt to discuss my college fund with my mom via text.

1364
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:24,360
Speaker 2: She revealed that she'd returned to school herself, which I

1365
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:27,200
Speaker 2: initially supported, assuming that she would use her own money.

1366
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 2: Then she dropped the bombshell she was using my college

1367
01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:32,400
Speaker 2: fund for her education.

1368
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:36,080
Speaker 1: Can she even do that? Yeah, Helix in your name,

1369
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:39,880
Speaker 1: Yeah right, supposed to use that college fund for your college.

1370
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 2: That is so insane, but you have it. My goodness,

1371
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:47,640
Speaker 2: I was shocked and furious. My mom had promised my

1372
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:50,479
Speaker 2: entire life that I'd never have to worry about paying

1373
01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:53,480
Speaker 2: for college like she had. She already held a bachelor's

1374
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 2: degree with over thirty years of experience, and had earned

1375
01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:59,360
Speaker 2: well over one hundred thousand dollars annually at her last job.

1376
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,640
Speaker 2: She could easily afford her own education and had never

1377
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:05,480
Speaker 2: mentioned using my fund. When I asked how long she'd

1378
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:07,600
Speaker 2: been using my money, I learned it had been six

1379
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:12,360
Speaker 2: months since I dropped out. Heartbroken and angry, I texted,

1380
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 2: how could you do this? Dad made that for me,

1381
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:18,520
Speaker 2: and you promised that it was mine. She responded by

1382
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:22,360
Speaker 2: calling me disgusting and money hungry, claiming that she.

1383
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:25,360
Speaker 5: Needed it more than I did. Dude, what we literally

1384
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 5: know you don't? Yeah, so I don't care. You have

1385
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 5: a degree, right, Well, he's trying to get a degree.

1386
01:05:31,160 --> 01:05:33,479
Speaker 5: It's like, maybe if I had that money, I could

1387
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 5: be in college and not be so disappointing to you.

1388
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:37,080
Speaker 1: Literally like what?

1389
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:40,080
Speaker 2: That was the final straw. I hired a lawyer to

1390
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 2: recover my college fund, awesome and my father's assets. The

1391
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,880
Speaker 2: legal process stretched over a year because my mom fought

1392
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:50,280
Speaker 2: installed at every turn, turning what could have been resolved

1393
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:53,800
Speaker 2: in months to an expensive, drawn out battle. I arranged

1394
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 2: deferred payment with my lawyer and took out a loan

1395
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:59,480
Speaker 2: to cover costs. Eventually I won the bank account my

1396
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:03,720
Speaker 2: mom claim had almost nothing, actually contained around ninety thousand

1397
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:07,280
Speaker 2: dollars day. I received forty five thousand of that, plus

1398
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:10,880
Speaker 2: my dad's portion of their retirement plans, the baseball card collection,

1399
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:15,440
Speaker 2: which is worth approximately fifty thousand dollars ooh, and the paintings.

1400
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 2: We also discovered that after punching me out, she'd taken

1401
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:21,919
Speaker 2: a European vacation using the remainder of my college fund.

1402
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,840
Speaker 2: I don't think you can do that. Wish she had

1403
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:28,480
Speaker 2: to reimburse. Yeah, because it's a college fund, that's yeah.

1404
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:28,680
Speaker 3: What.

1405
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 2: As of today, I haven't spoken to my mother in

1406
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:34,360
Speaker 2: over two years. I'm still waiting for the retirement agency

1407
01:06:34,400 --> 01:06:37,200
Speaker 2: to process the account transfers. So aside from the baseball

1408
01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:39,320
Speaker 2: cards and paintings, I haven't seen the money yet.

1409
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,960
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I moved into our own apartment nice.

1410
01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 1: He's now a full time teacher while I continue working

1411
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:46,840
Speaker 1: through college with the help of financial aid. We're planning

1412
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:49,040
Speaker 1: to marry once things settle. Down more and I'm trying

1413
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:50,760
Speaker 1: to figure out my place in the world and how

1414
01:06:50,880 --> 01:06:54,920
Speaker 1: to move forward. Well that's lovely. There are some comments,

1415
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,840
Speaker 1: but okay, well you know what, that was a whole frickin'

1416
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:03,320
Speaker 1: roll coaster. Yeah. Yeah, we got in somewhere seemingly good place. Right.

1417
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:05,120
Speaker 2: I haven't seen the money just yet, but I feel

1418
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 2: like it's on.

1419
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:07,560
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, I feel like we're right around

1420
01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:09,600
Speaker 1: the corner. Yeah, I feel like money.

1421
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 3: Wow.

1422
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:14,680
Speaker 2: Dang man, I mean, like truly, so so much just happened.

1423
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:18,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so relieving that, like, even though the dad

1424
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:22,120
Speaker 1: was not a very good parent, it seems still he

1425
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,480
Speaker 1: still had that like legal sub set up yeah in

1426
01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:28,240
Speaker 1: his way, which is great. Yeah, really saving her. Very

1427
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:30,960
Speaker 1: interesting that the mom is like, yeah, your dad wasn't

1428
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:32,840
Speaker 1: even a good parent, and then she goes and does this,

1429
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:34,480
Speaker 1: and then we find out that the dad had all

1430
01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:36,800
Speaker 1: of these legal protections in place rights. It's like what.

1431
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:40,480
Speaker 2: There are some comments. Comment everyone says, I rarely actively

1432
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:43,800
Speaker 2: root for another person's passing, but your mom has inspired me.

1433
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:46,840
Speaker 2: I'm so relieved you got away from her. What a

1434
01:07:46,960 --> 01:07:49,880
Speaker 2: walking on the world she is. Comment to number two

1435
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:52,439
Speaker 2: says the audacity of that woman to call your father

1436
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,440
Speaker 2: names when she's literally no better than him. Yep, I'm

1437
01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:59,520
Speaker 2: glad she's worried for him. Yeah, honestly, he's actively worse. Right,

1438
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:02,680
Speaker 2: she's still calling Opie names and stuff, and like, you know,

1439
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,200
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm glad you didn't just leave it

1440
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:07,919
Speaker 2: and fought for what was yours and your father's. She's

1441
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:10,840
Speaker 2: a vile woman and you will do well to remember

1442
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:13,480
Speaker 2: this when she comes back around, because she will. There

1443
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:17,320
Speaker 2: is a little update, oh a year later. Do any

1444
01:08:17,400 --> 01:08:19,120
Speaker 2: final thoughts before we move on to that.

1445
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,559
Speaker 1: It seems like you handled that really well. Yeah. I mean,

1446
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:23,720
Speaker 1: your mom sucks and I probably would go load to

1447
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,280
Speaker 1: no contact with her, right, which I'm assuming you might

1448
01:08:26,439 --> 01:08:29,000
Speaker 1: have done that right, seeing as you literally had to

1449
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:32,080
Speaker 1: sue her to get literally your stuff. Yeah. Hopefully you're

1450
01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:34,160
Speaker 1: still in that relationship with your boyfriend. You seem like

1451
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:36,559
Speaker 1: he was, you know, really stepped up there. I hope

1452
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:39,880
Speaker 1: you're getting your degree. Yeah. So one year later, the

1453
01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:43,559
Speaker 1: legal matter is officially resolved and I have received all

1454
01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:44,559
Speaker 1: the money. Yay.

1455
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:48,160
Speaker 2: I am now engaged to my boyfriend and we're any

1456
01:08:48,320 --> 01:08:49,320
Speaker 2: married next year.

1457
01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:51,440
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1458
01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:53,720
Speaker 2: I haven't spoken to or heard from my mom and

1459
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:57,360
Speaker 2: have no plans to contact her. She's definitely not invited

1460
01:08:57,400 --> 01:09:00,160
Speaker 2: to the wedding. This situation leaves me with mixed emotions. It's,

1461
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:03,240
Speaker 2: on one hand, it's over, I no longer endure verbals

1462
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 2: for my mother and can live freely with my future husband.

1463
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:07,760
Speaker 2: On the other hand, it saddens me that I no

1464
01:09:07,920 --> 01:09:09,920
Speaker 2: longer have a mother in my life, and I'm struck

1465
01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:12,719
Speaker 2: by how completely out of hand this became. I'm excited

1466
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 2: about this new chapter, though, I plan to finish school

1467
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,840
Speaker 2: and surround myself with friends who genuinely love me. I've

1468
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:20,719
Speaker 2: even started selling my artwork on Etsy and at local

1469
01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:25,040
Speaker 2: art events. Oh I'm looking forward to whatever life brings next.