1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Well, guys, fifteen days until the November third election. Go 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 1: to vote dot org, get your dates in early voting 3 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: locations in your state, and get it done. Okay, get 4 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: it done. Time now, yeah, get it done. We've all 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: done ours. Yeah, Steve, you're next. M all right, doud yeah, yeah, 6 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: he said today after work. Sure, I'll tell you it's 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: gonna be one of your damn days. I don't give 8 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 1: damn my way to a third right, just as long 9 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: as you vote. Yeah, don't where about that. I'm vote 10 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: all right? Here we go. Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. 11 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:46,159 Speaker 1: If you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 12 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey 13 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: FM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could 14 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,639 Speaker 1: be reading your letter just like we're gonna read this 15 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: one live right here, right now here we go. Let 16 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you. 17 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: Here it is straw Baby Letter. Thank enough you subject 18 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 1: her parents don't think I'm good enough. Dear Stephen Shirley, 19 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 1: I'm a thirty year old man dating a twenty five 20 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: year old woman. We've been together for four months and 21 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 1: things just got ugly between US. She moved to the 22 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: US three years ago, and her parents live in Africa. 23 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: She came to the States by herself to attend college, 24 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: and she's done quite well for herself. She's not like 25 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: the average twenty five year old. She does not drink, smoke, curse, 26 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: or party, and she only listens to Christian music. She 27 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: is gorgeous and way out of my league, so I'm 28 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: very lucky to have her. I've been honest with her 29 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 1: about my past and the bad choices I've made in women, 30 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: not finishing college, and my career goals. I'm no longer 31 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: partying and smoking weed, but I still drink sometimes. My 32 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: career is just taking off, so I'm not as financially 33 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: stable as I would like to be. She's very close 34 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: to her parents and she tells them everything. When she 35 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: told them about me, she said, they immediately decided I'm 36 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 1: not good enough for her. That had been bothering me 37 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: so recently. When she was facetiming with her parents, I 38 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: told her I'd like to say hello to them. I 39 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: leaned in to say hi, and her dad started frowning 40 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: and he did not speak back. Instead, he told me 41 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: that he's disappointed, and how I chose to present myself 42 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: to him and his wife for the first time. He said, 43 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: it's obvious that I make bad decisions a lot, so 44 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: he did not want me dating his daughter. After the call, 45 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 1: she cried and said she cannot go against her parents' wishes, 46 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: so we could only be friends. She asked if I 47 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: could be patient until she can change her parents' minds. 48 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: Should I remain friendly with her and see what happens, 49 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: or should I respect her parents' wishes. Well, honestly, I 50 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 1: think the decision has already been made. I mean, she's 51 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: not going against her parents' wishes. So say hello to 52 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: your little friend right now. That's what she is. Right now. 53 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: You guys can only be friends. But I do like 54 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: the fact that you know she's out of your league 55 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: and that you're very lucky to have her. It depends 56 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: on what you do with her, you know, and how 57 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: you handle this situation from here on out. There's an 58 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: obviously something she likes about you, or she wouldn't have 59 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: gotten with you in the first place. I mean, you 60 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 1: guys have only been together for four months, but um, 61 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: you know there's culturally a difference here. You know, this 62 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: doesn't work for her parents you know, your background, the choices, 63 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: all of that. They're very much a part of her decisions. Yes, 64 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 1: she's grown, she's twenty five, but you're not just dating her. 65 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 1: Her family has a say and she's listening to them. 66 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you got to say about every parent. 67 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: This about every parent. They always want the best for 68 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: their kids, and no one on the planet is good 69 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: enough for their their children. That's just how it is. 70 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: She's your baby girl. They have high expectations and you 71 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: have to respect that. You say, your career is just 72 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: taking off. You don't make as much money as you'd 73 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: like to. Okay, that's fair, that can be changed. The 74 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 1: question is are you willing to get where you need 75 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: to be for this relationship because her parents aren't going anywhere. 76 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: First impressions are very important. Now you're going to have 77 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: to do something about that because he didn't like the 78 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: way you presented yourself on the computer, waving in from behind. 79 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: If you really want this young lady, you're going to 80 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,599 Speaker 1: have to impress her parents. So what does that mean? 81 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: It means you're going to have to work really hard 82 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,720 Speaker 1: to turn your life around in their eyes. If you 83 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: want her, you know you could take that as a 84 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: challenge what her dad said, You're not being good enough, 85 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,040 Speaker 1: and from now on, no more talking and waving to 86 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: them from behind on the computer. You have to, if 87 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: it's possible, win them over by showing them they were 88 00:04:54,279 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: wrong about you. Steve, Well, bro, here we go. Her 89 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 1: parents don't think I'm good enough. Just Steve, Shirley, you're 90 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: thirty dating this twenty five year old. Y'all been together 91 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: full monster, and after full months you say things got 92 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 1: ugly between us. Now, she moved to the States three 93 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 1: years ago. Her parents live in Africa, which means she's 94 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 1: from Africa. She came to the States by herself with 95 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: to college, and she's done quite well for herself. She's 96 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 1: mature for her age. You say, she doesn't drink, smoke, curse, 97 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:44,360 Speaker 1: or party, and she only listened to Christian music. She's 98 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: gorgeous and way out of my league. So I'm very 99 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,239 Speaker 1: lucky to have her. Now here's the problem with this line. 100 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: Right here, most men you want to date up. So 101 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: I don't have a problem with the line. The problem 102 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,600 Speaker 1: I have is, oh lord, I'm gonna get back to that. 103 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: Let me say this first. I've been honest with her 104 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,679 Speaker 1: about your pass and bad choices you made and women 105 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: you ain't finished college, your career goals. Now you ain't 106 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 1: part of smoking weed, but I still drink sometimes My 107 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: career is just talk taking off. Now, with all that said, 108 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: the bad choices, all this here your past. Is she 109 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:35,359 Speaker 1: lucky to have you? That's the problem with this whole 110 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: damn letter. Not according to her dad. All right, Steve, 111 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: hang on, we'll get part two of your response coming 112 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour. My Strawberry 113 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,280 Speaker 1: letter for today, the subject her parents don't think I'm 114 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: good enough. We'll get back into it right after this. 115 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 1: You're listening, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. 116 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: Subject her parents don't think I'm good enough. Thirty ye 117 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: old man dating this beautiful twenty five year old African 118 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: queen that came over here, did real world with education. 119 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: She don't party, smoke, drink because she just listened to 120 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: Christian music. The guy says, man way out of the league. 121 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: You know, he lucky to have her, but due to 122 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: his past mistakes, he'd been real honest with her. The 123 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: choice and women he made not finishing college. Ain't I'm 124 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: telling what else he leaving out this letter, but he 125 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: didn't went down a list of stuff and you know 126 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: you're lucky to have him. But with all this stuff 127 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: that you said, I still drank sometime. My career is 128 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 1: just taken off. Is she lucky to have you? And 129 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: what career is taken off? You know? So that's the question. 130 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 1: So my question is how did you get her in 131 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: the first place? What did you say? See somewhere in 132 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: the intro before you got to the what all all 133 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: is wrong? You didn't tell that because that ain't how 134 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: you get to check. That's out your lead. You don't 135 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: open the game up with what's wrong with you? You 136 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: told a series of lives and left out a series 137 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 1: of key parts of information. Ain't a way in the 138 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: world you say, Hey, look, I made some mistakes out 139 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: of here and a lot of women. I'm dropped out 140 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: of college out of failed misery. You sell a little 141 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 1: weed and now you know I'm trying to get my 142 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 1: life on track. But man, who you being a Christian 143 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: all be the perfect thing to help me get it. 144 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: Get it on track? You know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, 145 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,439 Speaker 1: that's not what you said. So you said something to 146 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 1: her to get it going, I'm not as financially stable 147 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 1: as i'd like to be. That mean you ain't got 148 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: your money right now, I understand that you want to 149 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: come up with you thirty. She's very close to her 150 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 1: parents and she tells them everything. So when she told 151 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: them about you, they immediately decided that you're not good 152 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: enough for her. I mean, if you read the letter, 153 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 1: it says that it clearly says you're not good enough 154 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: for her. That's what it says. Well, it's not that 155 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: you're not good enough, it's that they don't think you 156 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,319 Speaker 1: right for her, and they don't think you're deserving of her. 157 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: Like Shirley said, everybody wants the best for their children. 158 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: So you know they told you that, Dan, you ain't 159 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: good enough. They told her you're not good enough for 160 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: so that count was bothering you. So she was facetiming 161 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: her parents. You told her you want to say hello too, 162 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: so I leaned in to say hi. Oh. Now her 163 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: dad started frowning and he didn't even speak back. Instead, 164 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: he told me he's disappointed in how I chose to 165 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: present himself to him and his wife for the first time. 166 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 1: Absolutely correct. See, y'all, young ass people live in this 167 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: little silly ass facetimeade. You think everything can happen like that. 168 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,199 Speaker 1: Old school people ain't with that man. They got protocol, 169 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: they got rules, and because you don't know them, your 170 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: little face to hey, everybody, it's me wrong, me wrong. Yeah, 171 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: we had some clothing stuff on. You know, you got 172 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: no shirt on't change right, braide something you know and 173 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: you know. So he told me he was disappointed how 174 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: chold presenting himself to his wife. And he said, it's 175 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: obvious that you've made some bad decisions a lot because 176 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,079 Speaker 1: now your girlfriend had told him you had a lot 177 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:45,680 Speaker 1: of women. You know, you dropped out of college everything. 178 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 1: You ain't got your money right, you ain't financial stable, 179 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 1: you know, got a record. What did her father say 180 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: when he told her when she told him all that, they? Hell? 181 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:02,960 Speaker 1: Are you with his? Nothing as fault? The same thing. 182 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 1: I've had, the same, the exact same. Why are you 183 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 1: with them? Who is here? It's not for you? There's 184 00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: nothing too? Who coach to college? You know? Finish lots 185 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,720 Speaker 1: of women? These not hell in a matter because they 186 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: don't even allow for lots of women. After the call, 187 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: she cried and says she can't go against her parents wishes. 188 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: So we could only be friends. That's the way they 189 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: were raised. She listened to Christian music. They have values 190 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: in their family, so she says she can't go against 191 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: say wishes. She can't. That's the way that family was raised. 192 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,440 Speaker 1: That's her father, So we could only be friends. She 193 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: asked if I would be patient until she can change 194 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: her parents' minds. So should I remain friendly with her 195 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,720 Speaker 1: and see what happens, or should I respect her parents 196 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: wishes a dog and it ain't her parents wishes, it's 197 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: her wishes. She says she can't go against her parents wishes. 198 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: This decision she makes. She ain't saying I'm gonna see 199 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: you in spite of she don't want to see you 200 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 1: until she can get her parents to come around. The 201 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: decision you have to make is are you gonna stay 202 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: friendly with them now? You're in it for the long haul, 203 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,839 Speaker 1: or you was in it just for something to happen 204 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 1: real quick. That's all this is a question about. Man. 205 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: You ain't gonna get another one like this. I'd hang 206 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: it in and see what can happen. But in the meantime, though, 207 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: I would get myself together. First thing you need to 208 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: do is apologize to her father. You're absolutely correct. I 209 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 1: wasn't thinking certain, but I will respect your wishes and 210 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: stand back, and I'm gonna get myself together and come 211 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,199 Speaker 1: back to you and show you the man that I am. 212 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:55,680 Speaker 1: You can try back unless the man you're gonna be 213 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 1: in talk like eight years. All right? Thank you? Post 214 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: your comment on today Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM 215 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook. And don't forget to check out 216 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up at forty 217 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 1: six minutes after the hour, Junior Sports Talk. Hello, right 218 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: after this, cheer up Junior. Ah good, Junior, you're listening 219 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: to this Dave Harvey Morning Show