Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is a super special episode because I am
Speaker 2: at the most amazing home. By the way, can I
Speaker 2: just like rent out when I have money, like a
Speaker 2: corner of your house just to do my podcast weekly?
Speaker 2: Because this is stunning. I'm with my longtime friend Shannon
Speaker 2: and we are here on a new episode of Misspelling.
Speaker 2: We just did your episode. I feel like we talked
Speaker 2: about everything. Is there anything else? I'm just kidding. We
Speaker 2: have so much history, you guys, like we could literally
Speaker 2: do old season of stories.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean we you know, had four hours in
Speaker 1: a plane and we didn't stop talking. Yeah. No, So
Speaker 1: we just got back from steel Car still sitting gone.
Speaker 2: Easy for you to say, Yeah, we did an autograph
Speaker 2: signing convention. Shannon did it on her birthday, like over
Speaker 2: that weekend, which is very admirable, and we flew home
Speaker 2: on private jet. I like saying it's your private chat
Speaker 2: because it just sounds like.
Speaker 1: He just likes to say it's mine. Awesome, Okay, it
Speaker 1: sounds exier for the story. But it's my best friend
Speaker 1: christ Yeah, it's his. But yeah, you know, you have
Speaker 1: your own pillow, so it's yours.
Speaker 2: Yes, fifty to fifty.
Speaker 1: Yes, sure, as long as I don't have to puy
Speaker 1: for it on fine.
Speaker 2: Great.
Speaker 1: I also didn't make enough money to do that yet.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, he's very gracious.
Speaker 2: By the way.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is something only because you said Shannon, you know,
Speaker 1: worked on her birthday weekend. I got there. I flew
Speaker 1: in Friday, which was my birthday. I was never scheduled
Speaker 1: to be at the convention on Friday. Ever. I was
Speaker 1: always scheduled to be there Saturday and Sunday. So it
Speaker 1: was always that way, right, always that way. But I
Speaker 1: got there Saturday, and it wasn't just one fan, it
Speaker 1: was everybody in my line was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: we came yesterday because you were supposed to be here yesterday.
Speaker 1: And it just reminded me of being in my early
Speaker 1: twenties and being blamed by other people for freaking everything yes,
Speaker 1: And I sat there being like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: don't want these people to think that I'm just canceling
Speaker 1: haphazardly and I don't care about their time and their
Speaker 1: money wasted, which is why I said something in the
Speaker 1: panel where I was like, I was never scheduled to
Speaker 1: be here on Friday, because I just thought, I'm not
Speaker 1: going down this path because I'm doing a nine h
Speaker 1: two zero convention. I'm not going down this path. Where
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I started getting blamed again for everything.
Speaker 1: I was like, absolutely not this. I was never supposed
Speaker 1: to be here. But it's funny how moments like that
Speaker 1: trigger you back into another time period.
Speaker 2: Yeah you regress, yes to that moment. Yeah wow, I
Speaker 2: mean I don't even know what to say, Like that
Speaker 2: is something and.
Speaker 1: You will shoulder that forever.
Speaker 2: Like that blame for things that happened didn't happen. It's
Speaker 2: just one of those things that it's hard not to
Speaker 2: let it define you. But it's like that thing. They're like, no,
Speaker 2: I've moved past that, but what do you do? Like
Speaker 2: it's one of those things like I know you speak out,
Speaker 2: but like a lot of times when people blame me
Speaker 2: for stuff, like I don't even want to say anything.
Speaker 2: It's just like do comment? Do you not comment? Because
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. They're going to think what they think anyway.
Speaker 1: I think there are some things that you have to
Speaker 1: clear up, okay, because I think they're so incredibly personal.
Speaker 1: My divorce, for instance, like I had to clear up
Speaker 1: some of that stuff because it just felt it felt
Speaker 1: very wrong to me, you know. And I started a
Speaker 1: podcast called Let's Be Clear because they do want to
Speaker 1: be clear, because my entire purpose of doing this podcast
Speaker 1: is to relive a lot of my life and take
Speaker 1: responsibility and accountability for all the things that I did wrong,
Speaker 1: which is plenty right, like I messed up a lot,
Speaker 1: but also to go, I didn't do this, this, this, this,
Speaker 1: and this, and as a woman back then, what I
Speaker 1: was doing back then would have been applauded today.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 1: What's really interesting is there's a agent slash. I guess
Speaker 1: he's now a manager who is married to someone blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. Anyway, he wrote in her comment section. I
Speaker 1: almost like put it on my Instagram just to show
Speaker 1: that even though we've made great strides in this business,
Speaker 1: there are still people like this guy who feel like
Speaker 1: they can bully and harass a woman publicly and refer
Speaker 1: to things that A he doesn't know about. B He
Speaker 1: wasn't there and there's zero proof, right, Like he was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: she's the one who you know got fired from Nineers. No,
Speaker 1: she's the one who's had problems with everybody. She's the
Speaker 1: one who's done this, Like he listed a whole thing
Speaker 1: and basically was trying to call me a liar. And
Speaker 1: I read the comment and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I thought we had rooted out all of you men
Speaker 1: talking about I know, but I thought we'd rooted men
Speaker 1: out like that in the business. But I guess we
Speaker 1: still have some that we need to yeah, haul out
Speaker 1: of there.
Speaker 2: But I mean, especially back then, Yeah, you couldn't say
Speaker 2: anything because there was no platform to say anything, no platform,
Speaker 2: and we were schooled that, you know, you don't make
Speaker 2: a comment. Everything goes through a publicist, and we're almost
Speaker 2: like coached how to speak. And like I look at
Speaker 2: interviews from nine or two to zero and I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's not even my voice, Like, oh my god, I
Speaker 2: had a different voice. I was being so not authentically
Speaker 2: me because I was you know, there's so many people
Speaker 2: that are like you just say this, this is what's happening,
Speaker 2: and you go, okay, okay, okay, And so how do
Speaker 2: you stand up for yourself publicly and get to people
Speaker 2: and reach them. I mean, now we are lucky because
Speaker 2: we can just say what we want and we control
Speaker 2: to a certain degree our own narrative because we have
Speaker 2: our own platforms.
Speaker 1: My mom was like, you got to watch this last night,
Speaker 1: and it was on YouTube me in an interview with
Speaker 1: our Cineo hall and on nine into and oh and
Speaker 1: I we.
Speaker 2: Loved him er the yate we always saw there.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's right my voice. I'm going to
Speaker 1: try to imitate my voice. Back then, it was like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I think that maybe it's just that I
Speaker 1: like it was a baby voice. Yes, And I don't
Speaker 1: know if if I put that voice on for those
Speaker 1: interviews or if it was just before I became a smoker.
Speaker 1: I mean, not that I smoke anymore obviously, but no,
Speaker 1: you know, preparation, like.
Speaker 2: Like finding your own voice. It stood for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we all have a different voice.
Speaker 2: Jason's voice is different back then. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Don't you think Ian's voice is the same. Yep, I
Speaker 1: think Gabs is the same.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think Jen's kind of sounds the same. I think
Speaker 1: Brian obviously changed throughout the show because he went through puberty.
Speaker 2: Literally puberty on the show. For him, We love him
Speaker 2: only he could go through puberty on the show and
Speaker 2: look good, like sound good.
Speaker 1: You were obsessed with him, I know, wait, okay, so.
Speaker 2: We've shared a lot of things over the years. I
Speaker 2: did not know until I listened to your podcast that
Speaker 2: you hooked up with Brian.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what yeah yeah, way later, like maybe
Speaker 1: never mind, maybe I was doing Charmed. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It was so much later and I was living at
Speaker 1: the Marmott House. But it was really short lived. It
Speaker 1: was short and it wasn't like it's like we tried
Speaker 1: something and then we just went and yeah, this is
Speaker 1: gonna work. Like the kissing didn't even make sense. Like
Speaker 1: we were like, this is not I.
Speaker 2: Can't even imagine you guys kissing.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I can't imagine it now either, right,
Speaker 1: Like that's why I didn't go anywhere, because it was awkward.
Speaker 1: It was super awkward. We were like, this is not
Speaker 1: I mean, of you guys would have been super hot together,
Speaker 1: but I just yeah, it was so like there was
Speaker 1: no fireworks because we were so close and we hadn't
Speaker 1: known each other since we were like little kids essentially,
Speaker 1: so there was just no And I love Brian, He's
Speaker 1: one of my favorite humans, but there was no spark.
Speaker 2: Wow, So we've shared even more than I thought. There
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 1: We shared Brian Saliva. It's not that bad. So wait.
Speaker 2: So we were just looking at photos because I'm clearing
Speaker 2: out my storage and found all these crazy photos from
Speaker 2: our trips and we used to travel a lot.
Speaker 1: Oh oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 2: So my seventeen year old was looking at these and
Speaker 2: he's like, Shan, it's hot. And I was like, whoa,
Speaker 2: that's so crazy because we were like his age. Then yeah, anyway,
Speaker 2: I found a picture in Maui, so you got engaged.
Speaker 1: I don't even remember getting engaged, now we did. I
Speaker 1: think I blocked that out.
Speaker 2: I was here with the bad boyfriend. Oh yeah, but
Speaker 2: there is also a picture of oh my god, wait
Speaker 2: for it, the bird.
Speaker 1: The bird.
Speaker 2: So here's me, here's the bad boyfriend, here's Shan, and
Speaker 2: here's Charlie Bird. It was a female, the collectest parrot
Speaker 2: that they allowed you those days to buy on the
Speaker 2: street in Lahina and take home with you right like
Speaker 2: on the plane, like it was fine, like something crazy.
Speaker 2: What happened to Charlie Bird? Well, the bad boyfriend went
Speaker 2: on to I was working every day and there are
Speaker 2: a lot of work. Didn't know, it's like a small child.
Speaker 2: And I would come home home and every night when
Speaker 2: I would get home, I'd be like Charlie Bird and
Speaker 2: she would have my voice, and she was.
Speaker 1: Like Charlie Bird.
Speaker 2: And I'd go to the cage and give her kisses.
Speaker 2: Then i'd go like settle down from the day from
Speaker 2: set and take her out. This one night I got
Speaker 2: home and she was really fired up. I learned later
Speaker 2: that he was a smoker and he would smoke and
Speaker 2: blow it on her. Oh my, And I didn't know this,
Speaker 2: so he was like torturing this poor bird.
Speaker 1: Did she get cancer? Like what happened with her in Fysima?
Speaker 2: Like? No, she got pissed. And so when I walked in.
Speaker 1: I walked in and I was like.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what had happened that day.
Speaker 1: And I was like, hi, Charlie Bird.
Speaker 2: And she would always come up to the cage and
Speaker 2: she gave me a little kisses. She bit me and
Speaker 2: she bit through my nose. It was like eight stitches,
Speaker 2: but the nose was like split open, and she was
Speaker 2: screaming attached to my nose through the cage. And I
Speaker 2: was like in and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: what's going to happen? So I was like, you're okay,
Speaker 2: it's okay, hey, Charlie Bird. So she finally let go
Speaker 2: and I just remember, what's wet?
Speaker 1: Like this is.
Speaker 2: I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and
Speaker 2: I just couldn't. I didn't even know if I had
Speaker 2: a nose. It was like blood everywhere, which is so
Speaker 2: ironic because you know, my nose was always my thing.
Speaker 2: I was always like, oh, I hate my nose, got
Speaker 2: a nose job, like whatever, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: bit off my nose. I'm like perfect. So anyway, I
Speaker 2: called and I was like, oh, I'm bleeding. The bird
Speaker 2: bit my nose. Remember he used to go casinos all
Speaker 2: the time with my money. Yes, he was at the
Speaker 2: Commerce casino and yeah. He was like I'm playing poker.
Speaker 2: I can't come get you. You're gonna have to call
Speaker 2: your parents. And I was like, oh my god, my
Speaker 2: parents hate him, like they're gonna fault him and be
Speaker 2: like why isn't your live in boyfriend take you to
Speaker 2: the er. But cool, I was like, yeah, great, hope
Speaker 2: you win, babe, because that's my money you're gambling. Anyway,
Speaker 2: I called my mom and she called a plastic surgeon
Speaker 2: and we went. I got sewed up, but I have
Speaker 2: a scar forever.
Speaker 1: Did you get rid of Charlie Bird?
Speaker 2: So my mom's like, you have to get rid of
Speaker 2: the bird. I'm like, no, you have to will these
Speaker 2: birds like they live forever. So do you remember Nick
Speaker 2: SCILATCHI make up artist. Yeah, he took it because he
Speaker 2: and his wife had a farm, and he took Charlie.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the story of I don't know
Speaker 1: if this ever happened to when you were younger, but
Speaker 1: when you know your dog like somehow mysteriously is no
Speaker 1: longer around and your parents are like, oh no, like
Speaker 1: so he was just he needed more space to run.
Speaker 1: So we you know, he's now in a big farm.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's Charlie bird where it's like he
Speaker 1: went to a farm.
Speaker 2: Uh. No, Charlie actually went to Nick's house because the
Speaker 2: cage went there and everything. Do they still have Charlie?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I stopped asking because they do live a really long
Speaker 1: eighty years. Yeah, that bird and they're smart.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she knows what she did.
Speaker 1: She was pissed. Well, yeah, she probably was like do
Speaker 1: you know what you have done? Do you know me
Speaker 1: with this?
Speaker 2: And I had no idea, right, So I'm going to
Speaker 2: jog your memory now, okay, please do So we were
Speaker 2: in Maui and it was me and you and and
Speaker 2: you guys got engaged. He took you one day, we
Speaker 2: did everything together. One day, he took you to the waterfall.
Speaker 1: He proposed to you.
Speaker 2: You guys came back and you had a beautiful ring.
Speaker 2: You were super excited. We all celebrated, and then I
Speaker 2: don't know what happened, but you guys got into a
Speaker 2: fight about something and he did something horrible as usual,
Speaker 2: and the next day he went some dude thing. I
Speaker 2: don't know what would they have done. Who knows. Something
Speaker 2: that's drinking, probably something we didn't go. And you were
Speaker 2: so pissed that you were like, okay. We went down
Speaker 2: to the store in the hotel and a little boutique,
Speaker 2: and you were like, what's the most expensive thing in
Speaker 2: this store? Because his credit card was down for the
Speaker 2: room for the room, and there was a locked case
Speaker 2: of like glass animals. When you picked this dolphin, it
Speaker 2: had uplighting in this shelf and it was this huge time.
Speaker 1: I always love dolphins.
Speaker 2: It was like twelve inch really dolphin, and it was
Speaker 2: ginormous and gorgeous and we bought it and it was
Speaker 2: like thirty five hundred dollars and we went upstairs and
Speaker 2: they came back. We didn't think they were coming back yet,
Speaker 2: and he was back, and all I know is I
Speaker 2: was like, are you okay? And You're like, I'm going
Speaker 2: to go talk to him, and you went and we
Speaker 2: were next door, and I was just like cannicked with
Speaker 2: like the glass against the wall, like she okay, okay,
Speaker 2: what's happening, And yeah, you something happened. You proceed to
Speaker 2: smash that crystal dolphin all over.
Speaker 1: That explains why I don't have it.
Speaker 2: We didn't come back with it.
Speaker 1: We did not come back with it, but we came
Speaker 1: back with Charlie Bird.
Speaker 2: So I'm a hoarder. So I really wanted that dolphin
Speaker 2: to come back with us.
Speaker 1: You know, I think that there are some things that
Speaker 1: I block out, and that was probably one of them,
Speaker 1: or maybe it just didn't seem as significant to me
Speaker 1: to like keep it stored in my memory. I you know,
Speaker 1: I listen, I look back at like all of my
Speaker 1: engagements and except for like one or two, and I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure that I mean, I know I said yes
Speaker 1: all the time, but I think it was very shortly
Speaker 1: after I said yes that I always regretted it, and
Speaker 1: sometimes I didn't want to say yes, but I felt
Speaker 1: really bad saying no to someone when they were down
Speaker 1: on one knee, so I'd say yes, knowing I was
Speaker 1: going to break up with them later. And I think
Speaker 1: that that was the case in that relationship too, Like
Speaker 1: I just knew it wasn't going to be you know,
Speaker 1: my like my person forever. But you know, we had
Speaker 1: this conversation on the plane also about about men and
Speaker 1: why you stay in relationships sometimes like you. I've seen
Speaker 1: you in a bunch.
Speaker 2: Yes you have, and all these years later, it's hard
Speaker 2: for me to think of you, who, in my mind
Speaker 2: is so strong and can fight anything and go through anything,
Speaker 2: and such a warrior like even tolerate men treating you
Speaker 2: a certain way. And I guess that was always part
Speaker 2: of our bond, right is that was the you know?
Speaker 2: I mean, business wise, you're as savvy as they come,
Speaker 2: and you don't allow yourself to be treated you know,
Speaker 2: unfairly or anyone around you that you care about, But
Speaker 2: when it comes to personal relationships, you crumble.
Speaker 1: Fair, fair, very fair. I think I've suffered from a
Speaker 1: fear of being alone so much that I'll get into
Speaker 1: relationship and I stay for a long time, and then
Speaker 1: it becomes about being too comfortable, or in some cases
Speaker 1: like yours, in your marriage, perhaps it becomes more of
Speaker 1: if somebody tells you that your has been you're washed up,
Speaker 1: you're ugly, you're this, you're that enough times enough times,
Speaker 1: and God knows this has happened to me, you start
Speaker 1: believing it, and then you end up having no confidence
Speaker 1: and that fear really takes hold where it's what am
Speaker 1: I gonna do? I'm going to leave them and I'm
Speaker 1: I'm all of these awful things that this person is
Speaker 1: saying that I am. Who's ever going to want to
Speaker 1: be with me? I think that that always played a
Speaker 1: part in my life, and I think that it's played
Speaker 1: a part in yours as well.
Speaker 2: I've definitely had that in past relationships. I do have
Speaker 2: to say Dean never did that part, Like he never
Speaker 2: He always made me feel like I was beautiful and
Speaker 2: talented that I really get him.
Speaker 1: Dean in Canada when we were doing a reboot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, you guys got along.
Speaker 1: We did get along.
Speaker 2: But definitely everything you're saying, you know, in kind of
Speaker 2: relationships when we're young to fine us. We hang on
Speaker 2: to them and they stick with us. It's hard to
Speaker 2: get rid of them. But everything you're saying, you know that,
Speaker 2: you know constantly he would tell me you're so ugly?
Speaker 2: How are you? No one's ever going to want to
Speaker 2: be with you. You can't act, you can't. It was horrible
Speaker 2: and granted, look at me. I'm like, you know, he's
Speaker 2: been sober for twenty five years and he's a different
Speaker 2: person now. They tell you we talk on DM on Instagram. No,
Speaker 2: he has a baby. Now that's amazing.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, people, people can grow, they can change,
Speaker 1: they can evolve. Can they change some people? They can
Speaker 1: grow some people. Yeah, I don't know about the changing.
Speaker 1: Attiger doesn't change the stripes, right, That's what my mom
Speaker 1: has always said to me, And I wish i'd listen now.
Speaker 2: They just turned gray eventually.
Speaker 1: But I also think cheating, somebody cheating on you can
Speaker 1: impact the way that you feel about yourself as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and I've I'm trying to think every guy
Speaker 2: I've been with has cheated on me, except my first husband,
Speaker 2: who was super nice.
Speaker 1: But yeah, right, so you started a pattern at a
Speaker 1: young age of accepting sort of that behavior.
Speaker 2: Maybe, yes, I feel the same way.
Speaker 1: Not so much with the cheating. No, I always had
Speaker 1: a really really hard line in the sand about cheating.
Speaker 2: Okay, I understand that, but setting a tone of acceptance.
Speaker 1: I think I settled for less than what I deserved
Speaker 1: often except for like Rob for instance, was awesome, great
Speaker 1: away friends and interestingly enough like my second husband that
Speaker 1: everybody probably thinks I should have a problem with. I
Speaker 1: adore like we're Who's Rick and we're really good friends.
Speaker 1: He's also fifteen years sober. Yeah, I like him, So
Speaker 1: maybe that's what I'm saying. People can change, Like I
Speaker 1: think that obviously, you know, drugs can bring out the
Speaker 1: worst any human being, and any addiction, the gambling addiction
Speaker 1: that Nic had or any of that can really bring
Speaker 1: out the worst. But I see a huge I mean,
Speaker 1: I think Rick always had like a heart of gold,
Speaker 1: and he was you know, never abusive or any of that.
Speaker 1: He was just you know, into drugs. But I from
Speaker 1: when I was married to him to what I experienced
Speaker 1: now in our friendship with him, he has changed. So
Speaker 1: I think people can change, but they don't all they
Speaker 1: can't often change to the degree that you would need
Speaker 1: them to change.
Speaker 2: I understand.
Speaker 1: And I think once a cheater, always a cheater. I
Speaker 1: just think it's a mentality. I think it's like a
Speaker 1: And maybe I'm wrong, and I'm definitely no expert, but.
Speaker 2: I I'm a cheater too then, because that's when Deane
Speaker 2: and I met. I was married, he was married, so I.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, And yet you don't cheat well PbD, Oh
Speaker 1: you mean in my eighteen year marriage crowd, But and
Speaker 1: you didn't in your previous relationships, not that I remember.
Speaker 2: No, No, you're right, so you.
Speaker 1: Know I think that that was I don't really know.
Speaker 2: Well, out of one m clarify the guy lost my
Speaker 2: virginity to Ryan? Remember him?
Speaker 1: M hm?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I've told this story before. Do you
Speaker 2: remember the Betsy Johnson dress that you wore in our
Speaker 2: biggest cast photo? Is black floral? And you remember?
Speaker 1: Yes? Oh, and my bangs are super short. I hate
Speaker 1: that photo and it just keeps.
Speaker 2: Circulating and it's never going to stop, and it's never
Speaker 2: gonna stop. Nope, nope. But you guys, I mean we
Speaker 2: used to share clothes everything, like you know, so do.
Speaker 1: You tell me you lost your virginity in my dress?
Speaker 1: Is that regard.
Speaker 2: I know, I'm going to say that you wore the
Speaker 2: dress I lost my virginity in.
Speaker 1: I told you, what do you mean? No, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: I literally said, there's a blood stained in the back. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and you were like.
Speaker 1: You were talking about that black dress with the big
Speaker 1: red roses on it that had it crossed in the back. Who.
Speaker 1: I loved that dress. It was cleaned though that I
Speaker 1: just don't think they got that stain out or something.
Speaker 2: Yes, bloodstains, but it was yeah, yeah, that's what you said.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were going somewhere and I didn't have a
Speaker 1: I didn't have anything to wear, so it borrowed that dress.
Speaker 1: I loved that dress. And then I got one exactly
Speaker 1: like it, but all black.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, but this takes me back.
Speaker 1: But that was like the.
Speaker 2: First guy I was with, and he was great, and
Speaker 2: to be honest, I cheated on him with Brian.
Speaker 1: That's how we.
Speaker 2: Broke up because I fell head over heels in love
Speaker 2: with Brian Green and like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, this is really interesting. So when you cheated
Speaker 1: on him with Brian the first time, did you immediately
Speaker 1: end it with Ryan? I mean, first off, can you
Speaker 1: confuse yourself more Ryan and Brian.
Speaker 2: No, but it's the running theme in my life.
Speaker 1: Or did you carry on and on a thing with
Speaker 1: Brian and eventually cut it off with Ryan?
Speaker 2: No, I broke up with Brian.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like immediately.
Speaker 2: It wasn't immediate like there was here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I don't dude, this is real talk now, kit,
Speaker 1: But here's here's the thing.
Speaker 2: I always say, like, Brian with a bee was the
Speaker 2: first love of my life. But I was young and
Speaker 2: I was caught up in it, and I don't know,
Speaker 2: do you feel like I was really in love with
Speaker 2: Brian or it was.
Speaker 1: Like No, I think it was like teenage obsession, like infatuation. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: that helps me, but also.
Speaker 2: Navigate my journey because all I know is going back
Speaker 2: to then and it's like, okay, I was with this guy,
Speaker 2: like I didn't lose my virginity till I was over eighteen, like,
Speaker 2: so it's not like I haphazardly slept with someone like
Speaker 2: this guy I met, I thought he was the one,
Speaker 2: and and then all of a sudden, you know, there's
Speaker 2: Brian and the pilot and he would like make fun
Speaker 2: of me, and that always like from the beginning, I like, guys,
Speaker 2: that Brian was always nice to me was like pulling
Speaker 2: your pigtails, like giving me. He still gives me the gears, Yes,
Speaker 2: and I still get riled up.
Speaker 1: Of course, it's.
Speaker 2: Been thirty years. We're just friends, you know, I love
Speaker 2: his fiance, like, it's not that, but if he says
Speaker 2: something to me, I get so flustered and riled up,
Speaker 2: and it takes me right back to being my like
Speaker 2: eighteen year old self and being like, oh my.
Speaker 1: So I definitely think it was infatuation. I think it
Speaker 1: was also like the sexiness of the moment, right you're
Speaker 1: talking about being on a show. All of this stuff
Speaker 1: is happening. We're young going out having these experiences. You know,
Speaker 1: Brian's always had like some swagger. And then it was
Speaker 1: also we all hung out so much that I think
Speaker 1: you couldn't help but be infatuated and.
Speaker 2: Me, Yeah, I couldn't go back to the manor and
Speaker 2: hook up with him.
Speaker 1: So where did I my dohini house?
Speaker 2: Always your house?
Speaker 1: Sorry, always my house? Yeah. So okay, so interesting because
Speaker 1: we're talking about now cheating and men and relationships and
Speaker 1: what that feels like to us.
Speaker 2: So what does that make you feel like? As my
Speaker 2: friend hearing me say, I've never thought about it this way.
Speaker 2: I've never talked to anyone, and like, no, I can't
Speaker 2: describe the way I felt or the relationship with Brian,
Speaker 2: because no one besides you would understand.
Speaker 1: I think you were eighteen years old. So when I
Speaker 1: say a tiger doesn't change it stripes, they may, I
Speaker 1: have no idea. Maybe maybe men and women who now
Speaker 1: can I have spots? I hate stripes, spots. A lever
Speaker 1: doesn't change its spots. But I think that there are
Speaker 1: certain things you have to give yourself grace on, or
Speaker 1: you know, your boyfriend at that time when you're eighteen, nineteen,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, I'm not quite sure. I know that
Speaker 1: you're not a fully developed human being, as we talked
Speaker 1: about on my podcast, and you know, you're you're learning
Speaker 1: your judgment, you're learning sort of what's right and wrong,
Speaker 1: but you're also caught up in all of these feelings
Speaker 1: and emotions, and you've got hormone changes happening, and there's.
Speaker 2: All of this stuff.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if I would say you sleeping
Speaker 1: with Brian while with Ryan when you're eighteen years old
Speaker 1: makes you a serial cheater that.
Speaker 2: You're gonna say killer for a second. I got so
Speaker 2: scared already. Killer.
Speaker 1: Serial cheaters are people who do it in every relationship,
Speaker 1: and they don't just cheat on you with one person
Speaker 1: multiple they do it with multiple where like literally later
Speaker 1: you could be separated, you could be divorced, could be
Speaker 1: a month later, it could be ten years later, and
Speaker 1: you're getting emails and phone calls from girls being like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I was with him at this year and
Speaker 1: I was with him at that year, and you're like, oh, like,
Speaker 1: was anything true? So yeah, those people, to me are
Speaker 1: people that will never change. Okay, But I don't know.
Speaker 1: Our audience will probably let us know if I'm giving
Speaker 1: you too many allowances here because i'm your friend. But
Speaker 1: I don't think I am. I think I am very
Speaker 1: clear on the fact that when you're eighteen years old, Sure,
Speaker 1: would it have been nice for you to say to Ryan,
Speaker 1: I don't think I can be with you anymore because
Speaker 1: I have a crush on somebody else. If something happens,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be able to stop it. Sure,
Speaker 1: but you weren't even fully developed enough to realize that
Speaker 1: you should have that conversation. Your first relationship losing your
Speaker 1: virginity and then having what feels like the love of
Speaker 1: your life right in front of your eyes. That's hard.
Speaker 2: I mean I often think about, like, especially like rewatching
Speaker 2: nine O two and zero now, like what was happening
Speaker 2: in our personal lives? Did that dictate what happened with
Speaker 2: the characters? And if you go back, it's like, wait,
Speaker 2: did they put Donna and David together? Because my dad
Speaker 2: knew that, like Brian and I and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, briann't. Like I mean, obviously it took
Speaker 2: on a life of its own, but yeah, if you
Speaker 2: really think about it, why would Donna and David initially
Speaker 2: have been paired together? It was odd?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what happened to your two characters? Like, did you
Speaker 1: guys get married at the end?
Speaker 2: Yep?
Speaker 1: Did you really?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I invited you, you didn't come. The invitation to Brenda
Speaker 2: got lost in the mail to the UK somewhere.
Speaker 1: That's really interesting. I don't know what happened with anyone.
Speaker 2: Yes, And while we were filming the wedding episode, because
Speaker 2: Brian and I we read the script and by then
Speaker 2: he and I were like a linked force. We were like,
Speaker 2: which is funny, Like the two like meek ones in
Speaker 2: the beginning didn't have a voice, were the youngest ones.
Speaker 2: By the tenth season, we were like not running it,
Speaker 2: but we.
Speaker 1: You still had the passion for it.
Speaker 2: We did. We took pride and we were willing to
Speaker 2: step up and and jump in where I feel like,
Speaker 2: you know, a.
Speaker 1: Lot of people not it wanted more time off.
Speaker 2: Not nine o two one zero, But when you're on
Speaker 2: a show for a long time, you kind of start
Speaker 2: getting comfortable phoning it in. Like and Brian and I
Speaker 2: were always very you know, we were producers at heart.
Speaker 2: We still are so like we were like no, no, no.
Speaker 2: So we bonded over that actually, and it was nice
Speaker 2: to see us come together not just as friends, co
Speaker 2: stars and love interests on the show, you know, crushes.
Speaker 2: I'm always hesitant because Brian sees it different. We've never
Speaker 2: talked about it, Like when we did BH and O
Speaker 2: Trow and they were writing it in about Donna and
Speaker 2: David Tory and Brian. You know, the writers were like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, Brian sees it difference. Like you were like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, you were so in love with him,
Speaker 2: and he was like, huh, we were just friends, Like
Speaker 2: and I was like, Oh, that's a boy and a
Speaker 2: girl at that's eighteen.
Speaker 1: Bullshit.
Speaker 2: I've never asked him.
Speaker 1: I'm going to call it bullshit on that. Brian knew
Speaker 1: how you felt about him for sure, like he one
Speaker 1: hundred percent did. Yeah, But I think I think I
Speaker 1: would imagine and I haven't actually had this conversation with him,
Speaker 1: but I would imagine that that is also a very
Speaker 1: difficult position for him to be in because again, sorry,
Speaker 1: producer's daughter, right, working together.
Speaker 2: I was always a running thing for me, Like guys
Speaker 2: on a show, like guest stars, you know, they would
Speaker 2: flirt with you and you'd be like, Oh, they're cute
Speaker 2: or nice. And we work constantly, you don't meet other people,
Speaker 2: so you'd be like, oh, are they going to take
Speaker 2: me out? And that didn't happen because it's like, oh, it's.
Speaker 1: Producer's daughter dad show, and not just the producer's daughter
Speaker 1: but Aaron Spelling correct, like, you know, one of the
Speaker 1: most important, powerful, influential producers of that time period ever.
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't have dated you, and yet I did
Speaker 1: essentially date you by just we were best friends and
Speaker 1: not caring that your dad would get mad at me
Speaker 1: that you were getting home super late. But now, for god,
Speaker 1: I think that's extremely hard.
Speaker 2: And how girls like when like we're out when we're
Speaker 2: young and you get drunk and ad guys are like
Speaker 2: watching you and so you make out. I think you
Speaker 2: were my first friend and we ever did that? Yeah,
Speaker 2: like made out for like guys like, oh look right, yeah,
Speaker 2: Like we'd be out drinking and they'd be like, oh,
Speaker 2: look at the two hot girls from rounds now and
Speaker 2: be like, oh, let's show them something.
Speaker 1: Let's show let's let's let's give it.
Speaker 2: And then we do and they'd all be like what
Speaker 2: and then we'd be like, okay, another rounds cool, like
Speaker 2: nothing ever happened. I was circling back.
Speaker 1: To I don't even think there was ever tongue exchange,
Speaker 1: Like it was like pretty a flascid kiss. But but
Speaker 1: but no, we made it was good guys would Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like the TV kiss Now, you're a good kisser now.
Speaker 2: But circling back to Brian and I so like always
Speaker 2: comes back with Brian. Sorry story in my life anyway.
Speaker 2: We love you, Sharana, I love Sharna, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: nothing about that, like yeah, but during the wedding episode,
Speaker 2: we got our vows and we were like, oh, we
Speaker 2: know these characters so well at this point and this
Speaker 2: is very personal. The fans have been on this journey,
Speaker 2: We've been on this journey. And we ended up rewriting
Speaker 2: them and wrote our own vows to each other. And
Speaker 2: when we went for a rehearsal and the whole big
Speaker 2: you know, mastershot, we read the script at one so
Speaker 2: that it was real, and then we on camera read
Speaker 2: the ones we wrote to each other, so that was
Speaker 2: all real. But at the end of the filming the
Speaker 2: wedding episode, I remember turning to Jen at one point
Speaker 2: and I said, Then she goes, what and I go
Speaker 2: I think I'm in love with Brian again. And She's like, no, no,
Speaker 2: not doing this again. It's been ten years. We've come
Speaker 2: so far. Not doing this again.
Speaker 1: Thank you Ginny for cutting that one off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, oh, the lines just got
Speaker 2: so blurred. And then I have never and Brian and
Speaker 2: I you know how close friend and I are and
Speaker 2: I tell him everything, like I'll text him and like
Speaker 2: we're brother and sister and like best and so close
Speaker 2: that we can have that connection. Like what was this
Speaker 2: the reason? Maybe the you know your relationship didn't work
Speaker 2: because of this, and I'm like, no, no, no, And I'm
Speaker 2: able to talk about things that you know, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: be able to with him years ago. Anyway, recently we
Speaker 2: were talking about my situation and being in love and
Speaker 2: being crushed and being hurt and moving on and now
Speaker 2: being single and the next chapter of my life. And
Speaker 2: he's been so great and such a champion, and you know,
Speaker 2: at times he gives me such inspiring, you know, words
Speaker 2: of you can do it professionally and personally. And we
Speaker 2: made some commentary and I was saying, like, no, I
Speaker 2: was in love. I don't know, maybe I wasn't in love.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure. No one's broken in my heart since you.
Speaker 2: And there was like pause, pause, and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, this is the first time ife said
Speaker 2: this to him in thirty years.