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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's starting a charity for divorced

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Speaker 1: fathers with dad bods making their dreams come true with

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Speaker 1: free bbls Brazilian belly lifts and yes it is dangerous,

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Speaker 1: dangerously sexy.

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Speaker 2: Wait, so he still has the dad's stomach. Ye, No

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Speaker 2: more gut hanging down over that belt.

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Speaker 1: Thanks to Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird

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Speaker 1: news stories around the globe just like everyone else does.

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Speaker 1: He said, we've got a laser. Those other Papa Puggies

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Speaker 1: just don't. His first laser story is out of Florida, Jeff,

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Speaker 1: a seventy six year old man named John Moss put

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Speaker 1: up a large sign in front of his house that

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Speaker 1: said absolutely.

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Speaker 2: No drugs allowed on the premises.

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Speaker 3: Okay, neighbor, Yeah, yeah, it sounds like a good time

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Speaker 3: and I'm sure he's not on any medications that are

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Speaker 3: drugs either.

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Speaker 1: And then when you approached his porch, there was a

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Speaker 1: meatam size sign behind that one that said, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Serious, no drugs in here.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: This is like when you think you're exiting the airport

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Speaker 1: and then another wave of doors, Yeah, doors do I go? Well,

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Speaker 1: maybe if the first sign didn't deter people the second sign,

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Speaker 1: they'd be like, oh, okay, you know what, Yeah, he

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Speaker 1: means business.

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Speaker 3: Who was bringing drugs to his house prior to the signs?

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Speaker 2: So free?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Well what happened?

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Speaker 1: Police were driving by his place the other day and

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Speaker 1: saw the signage and they thought, well, maybe we should

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Speaker 1: pay this guy a visit.

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Speaker 2: And see what's going on. Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Fifteen minutes later, John was arrested and hit with multiple

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Speaker 1: charges of drug trafficking, and nobody got.

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Speaker 3: It's like when when you accuse your partner of cheating,

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Speaker 3: but you're actually the cheater.

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Speaker 2: Yeah type of thing. Absolutely, what are you trying to say? Bro?

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Speaker 3: No, it's a common thing.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, every what is every accusation is a confession.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: After a search of his home, deputies found thirty two

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Speaker 1: ounces of cocaine, thirty six grams of oxy cotton, six

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Speaker 1: grams of morphine, fours of meth, and a host of

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Speaker 1: other hard drugs.

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Speaker 2: Is he say no drugs or on drugs?

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Speaker 3: I think he was hosting a pickleball party later for

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Speaker 3: his friend.

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Speaker 2: Ah got it, and he was just ready.

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Speaker 1: He also had twenty thousand dollars cash and multiple handguns.

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Speaker 2: Okay, right now, we're really a drug dealer.

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Speaker 1: And well different than most of our drug stories. It's

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Speaker 1: very clear what tipped off the authorities. All of his

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Speaker 1: signs on the front yard to be.

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Speaker 2: A normal seventy six year old man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and park like an old.

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Speaker 3: Car on your law exactly.

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Speaker 1: Apparently officers were not dissuaded by John's self proclaimed drug

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Speaker 1: free zone.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I hate to see that.

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Speaker 3: The ones you don't expect this.

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Speaker 2: Next laser stories out of the velvet rope.

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Speaker 1: Rooms Fancy, the hottest new nightclub in New York City,

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Speaker 1: had lines stretching three blocks long, influencers begging to be

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Speaker 1: put on the list, and people trying to bribe bouncers

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Speaker 1: just to get in.

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Speaker 2: So what was it? It's called Studio Cheese.

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Speaker 3: Hey, let's go doing it.

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Speaker 2: What's happening?

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Speaker 1: It's a pop up nightclub hosted by the Cheddar cracker

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Speaker 1: snack brand Cheese.

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Speaker 2: It's good cheese every day.

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Speaker 1: The brand says it's a way to connect with gen

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Speaker 1: Z and finally satiate that late night urge for America's

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Speaker 1: favorite cheesy snack.

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Speaker 3: It looks like the whole place is a wash in

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Speaker 3: orange lights based on You're in.

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Speaker 1: A cheese it bag? Yeah, and They did it by

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Speaker 1: featuring cheese it infused cocktails like a margarita, but they

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Speaker 1: called it the cheese Arita.

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Speaker 2: Okay, cheese it hot.

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Speaker 1: And spicy crackers along with a cheesy sprits lemon seltzer.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know about drinks. Cheese teenies were also

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Speaker 2: on the menu instead.

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Speaker 1: Those are definitely dirty.

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Speaker 2: Those are just the drinks.

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Speaker 1: The menu was popping from cheese It jalapeno by now

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Speaker 1: We're cheese at pizza pockets, even a cheesy bite flight

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Speaker 1: that featured different crackers served as part of a large

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Speaker 1: shark cooterie bar.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I love those white cheddar cheese its original.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they had everything for this.

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Speaker 1: There was even a cheese it shaped disco ball, and

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Speaker 1: the dance floor was made up of light up cheese.

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Speaker 2: It squares.

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Speaker 3: Iconic hole in the middle.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so don't trip.

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Speaker 1: In the three days the nightclub was opened, it hosted

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Speaker 1: over two thousand party goers and now the brand's being

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Speaker 1: pressured by fans to open more pop ups all over

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Speaker 1: the country.

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Speaker 2: Dude, this is smart. All snack food should do this.

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Speaker 3: That's how we finally get gen z Oreole Club. Goldfish

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Speaker 3: Yeah club, I love Goldfish as well, goldfish raining down

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Speaker 3: instead of confetti.

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Speaker 2: We are so basic and we love it.

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Speaker 1: I know it's only this next laser story is out

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Speaker 1: of Java Joe's coffee.

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Speaker 2: If you were making us hungry to.

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Speaker 1: Well, if you're a regular at Starbucks, this is some

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Speaker 1: big news. The CEO recently talked about the ways they're

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Speaker 1: planning to integrate artificial intelligence into their business, and the

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Speaker 1: most intriguing thing is some sort of AI barista that

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Speaker 1: can predict a customer's order.

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Speaker 2: Basic woman, Pumpkin, all you have to look.

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Speaker 3: At is your previous every single previous.

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Speaker 2: Mind blown brook, How dare you ruin their secret for me?

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Speaker 2: I would have been like, how did you know I

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Speaker 2: wanted sugar free.

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Speaker 3: Vanilla because you've ordered that the last times you've been

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Speaker 3: here in the last sixteen months.

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Speaker 1: But it's not a robot or anything that can read

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Speaker 1: people's minds, which actually would be pretty awesome. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like it's more about the Starbucks app being able to

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Speaker 1: predict what you want next, and yeah, letting you just

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Speaker 1: talk to your device and say, hey, I need my

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Speaker 1: Starb's order.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be there in ten.

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Speaker 1: It should just start ordering it for me, like I

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Speaker 1: get a notification right now.

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Speaker 2: Boom your orders ready? Hey I did want a Starbucks.

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Speaker 2: I'll be back without your approval. I'm just like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 2: that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer stories out of the Miracle Cure Motel. Wow.

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Speaker 1: You might remember the group of researchers who won the

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Speaker 1: ig Nobel Prize for discovering that many mammals.

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Speaker 2: Are capable of butt breathing.

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Speaker 1: Remember when we talked about that, we all laughed and

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Speaker 1: we called their work stupid.

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Speaker 2: But that's because we're immature.

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Speaker 1: Because now that same group has just proved butt breathing

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Speaker 1: might soon be a real medical treatment for human beings.

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Speaker 1: Researchers found giving animals oxygen enemas who were in respiratory

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Speaker 1: failure helped to save their lives my.

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Speaker 2: Way, So now it's mouth the butt brother, Are you joking?

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Speaker 2: Ben Over? I got you, I'm trying to say.

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Speaker 1: And not only did put an oxygen into their butt

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Speaker 1: proof pretty effective, it also had no major complications.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that is actually.

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Speaker 3: Crazy, like all kidding aside, should we not be wearing

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Speaker 3: leather pants? Said?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, those are not very agreeable. Yeah, they even tried

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Speaker 1: it on twenty healthy male men whoa and while some

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Speaker 1: men said they didn't experience any difference.

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Speaker 2: Others said that they could smell their own underwear.

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Speaker 3: Wait, it's a button nose now what ye what?

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Speaker 1: Men love the smell of their own underwear, So that

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Speaker 1: means the studies of success. Okay, And there's a lot

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Speaker 1: more research to be done on this, but experts predict

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Speaker 1: that sometime in the year twenty forty there's a very

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Speaker 1: real chance that with elective surgery, humans will be able

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Speaker 1: to breathe from their butts. Oo.

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Speaker 2: Wow, hey that was a not a tube.

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Speaker 1: Yeah okay, I mean science has really come such a

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Speaker 1: long way. They skipped it right over cancer, went straight

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Speaker 1: to butt.

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Speaker 2: Breeze they did.

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Speaker 3: I'll take it.

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Speaker 2: This guy's on board two. In fact, he's already practicing

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Speaker 2: it right now. Well, there's some healthy breaths right there,

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Speaker 2: And that's how.

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Speaker 1: Means laser stories come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We'll do it again, same time on Monday, Brooke and

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Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning,