WEBVTT - EP 363: A REAL Voluptuous BBW (Ft. Julie Ginger) 0:00:02.560 --> 0:00:04.240 Guess what decision we're about to make. 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:06.320 Horrible decision. 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:11.639 Hotti, everybody, we have the Horrible Decisions podcast, and we're 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:14.000 going to be in Dallas, Texas. Moriial day weekend, bitch 0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:16.440 is a Sunday. We're gonna be headlining the two together 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:18.439 Land Festival. And you bitched better than I had a 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:20.480 motherfucker work on Sunday. Call out ho. 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:23.639 I mean you could do that. But also it's a 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.160 three day weekend. They have Monday off. We will see 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:29.200 you guys in Dallas, Texas at the together Land Festival. 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:30.960 Make sure you get your tickets now. 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:34.920 We will be live on the podcast stage that's made 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:39.000 twenty six. Get your tickets now at togetherland dot com. 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:46.479 Hey, so, welcome to another episode a Horrible Decision. You're 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:49.680 white boys, I mean it was closed, it wasn't bike. 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:51.760 I'm like on a huh. 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:54.640 Anyways, I wanted to mow them because we have someone 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:58.000 who moans as well, so I just wanted to do that. Anyways, guys, 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:01.120 welcome to another episode of horror. This is yos. 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.400 I'm your girl maybe b aka pet de Sign aka 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:06.000 full cor Posts aka Debt bitch. 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:09.640 Y'all, it's weezy we're back for another episode. Today, we 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:11.600 have a guest that we met at the a b NS. 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.160 And what's crazy about this guest is that Mandy and 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:18.080 I were literally looking through categories on like who to interview, 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.160 and so I'm like sharing them with my boo or. 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:23.759 Whatever, not even sharing them wear her boo. She's sending 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:24.240 them to me. 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:28.240 Well you were both, y'all. Yeah, so and Yoe was 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:30.479 literally one of them, but I think it just didn't 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:32.360 work out because we end up getting Nicole Kit and Mia. 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:35.880 So anyway, we're in line and this bitch asked my 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:38.800 man the whole sme. I'm like, and and way it 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:44.240 turns around is like, bitch, I know you no, but like, 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:46.600 it's so cool to go to the av AND Awards 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:49.120 and actually see people that you, you know, follow online. 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:51.160 That's so dope. And one of the things you said 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:53.400 to us in line, Julie you were I was like, 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:55.080 I hope you get to win. She was like, even 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.720 if it's not me, it better be a real BBW. 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:01.000 Yeah that's literally what she said. I did say that. 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:02.960 By the way, guys, we have Julie Ginger in the 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:10.640 motherfucking buildings. Julie Ginger real bb tell us what you 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:13.600 meant by that, because all right, look, there there are 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:15.320 levels to this ship. 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:19.760 When it comes to bbw's right, you've got your smaller baby, 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:21.720 you know, like they they got that little puge, they 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:25.680 got that little like small like crease, and then just 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:28.440 like not not a belly, that's a little BBW. And 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:30.440 then you actually, you know, like mid size that has 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:32.960 a little more, and then you're big, and then you're big, big, big, 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:34.280 you know, and they just keep going up and up 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:38.680 and up. The girl who won no shade, congratulations alex 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:40.000 As always. 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:41.240 Where do you where do you place her? 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:45.160 She is just on that fucking cusp of not being 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:50.480 a BBW, oh, which I'll say not being so she's 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:53.000 She's gained a little since I've seen I've gained a. 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:55.160 Little, which is crazy because even in the fashion world, 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.440 like they now have plus nized models, but it's more 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:04.240 of that like their toe You're twelve act was probably 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:06.960 the biggest plus side model I've seen. 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:11.200 I've seen some new ones come out lately. Yes, yeah, yeah. 0:03:11.240 --> 0:03:14.200 When that page came out, I was like, oh, now, 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:16.640 don't get me wrong, I still in my opinion, I'm like, 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:18.799 there's sting still kind of flat, but she was big, 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:21.720 bigger arms, like even height, like yeah, yeah. 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:23.200 Oh no, no, let's be very clear. 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:25.600 Yeah, y'all have been listening to this podcast. That's the 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:26.320 very beginning. 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.799 I stood in my BBW motherfucking realm, and as soon 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.919 as I started losing my weight after Gastig, they said, oh, yeah, girl, 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:35.560 you're no longer BBW. Like as I was posting my 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:37.240 body positivity posts, they. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:39.720 Was like, oh no, bitch, we kicked you out. You're 0:03:39.720 --> 0:03:40.720 not BBW anymore. 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:44.400 I remember during the I remember during the pandemic actually 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:48.280 going on clubhouse and there was a BBW room and 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:52.960 I got put on stage and there was plus size 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:56.720 influencers that literally was like, yeah, no, we don't even 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:58.360 know why you're up here. No more, you don't count 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:01.120 anymore type shit. And I'm like, bitch, you got me 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:03.720 fucked up. Mind you Still every fucking of the week 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:06.520 people are talking about my weight if they're watching. 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:07.840 On YouTube or all those things. 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:11.320 So I want to I want to lean back into 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:16.480 porn specifically, and even you as a BBW porn star 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:20.799 or content creative, We're going to get into your content. 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:27.320 Why do you feel that way about bbw's because I 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:30.680 did also peep you pulled all the real BBWs to 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:34.440 take a picture. And after we did the red carpet, 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:37.920 Weisey and I looked over and you could tell the 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:40.960 group of women that took a picture, we're all like 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:42.320 the real BBWs. 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:45.960 What does that kind of uh family or sisterhood look 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:49.320 like in the sex world space? It's hard. Actually, there's 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:50.920 a lot of people who don't like a lot of 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:53.560 other people, and I think that just comes from I 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:58.000 think in any entertainment industry, you're not gonna like everybody, right, 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:02.920 So it really comes down to just like when you 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:06.400 meet them in their journey in the industry, you know, 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:09.400 it's it's interesting because like, let's say, for instance, myself, 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:11.880 I'll talk about my my little journey. I wasn't the 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.440 most likable person back in my early stages. I had 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:17.719 to learn some shit, why what made you unlikable? Because 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:19.839 I was I was kind of being that pick me girl. 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:24.960 Oh yeah, hey, why aren't you working with me? Why 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:26.880 why are you working with these other bbw's but you 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:30.359 won't work with me? Pick me I'm here, you know, 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:32.600 like that type of else. 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:35.520 I mean, maybe I would say everything, but why are 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:37.560 you working with them and not me? But what's wrong 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:38.719 with asking someone. 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:40.880 For some people? Because some people don't know how to 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:45.200 say no or even respond too. So as a BBW, 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.480 I feel like I have such a limited pool of 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:49.839 people to work with as a as a creator. Right, 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:53.360 But back to you know, like the you know why 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:56.279 girls don't get along? It's just their personalities don't match, 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:58.760 or they hear something so that it's all hearsay. And 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:01.200 so what I really try to do as someone who 0:06:01.320 --> 0:06:04.240 has had that happen to me, I just try to say, hey, look, 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:06.200 you want to get to know me, then get to 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:08.039 know me. Don't go buy off of what somebody else 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:10.360 was said or what my actions were five years ago. 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:13.839 I've grown, I'm different. I'm not the same that I was. 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:18.800 Better know, they don't let bitches grow. They don't let I've. 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.960 Done grow speaking, I'm still growing. I do want to know, 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:25.880 how is your weight fluctuated since starting porn? And when 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.920 it has, how's the money changed? Oh? 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:31.600 You know what, Honestly, I don't even think it's so 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:34.200 much about how much my weight is fluctuated. It's actually 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:37.480 how hard I put my work into my business. It's 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:40.280 not even about my weight most of the time. Like 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:42.160 I have guys that wanted me to be a feedie, 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:45.200 which means I'll eat, eat, eat right and grow grow grow. 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:45.800 I can't. 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.120 I also had the gastic surgery, but I wasn't as 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:51.440 successful as you have been, which which Gastrick, did you 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:52.320 leave you had to. 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.719 Sleep as well? Yeah, my mom just had it, and 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:58.520 I think even on tour, so many of our fans 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.320 have chosen to have it. 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:04.000 But yeah, it's it's not the easiest things psychologically. 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:05.240 At all, Like, yeah, when did you do it? 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:07.960 I did it in twenty fifteen, so this is two 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:12.280 years pre prior to getting into the industry. So I 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:16.120 was in a marriage. I was happy, be I'm gonna 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:18.440 quotate that because it wasn't happy at the end. 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:22.360 Obviously it was not divorced, but have good relationship that 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:28.360 in she says, just call what it is, Okay, call 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:28.960 it what it is. 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.720 I was happy, I was happy, but when I decided 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:33.920 to do the surgery for myself, just so I can 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.160 maybe even be more happier, okay, right, because I was 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.000 having a hard time moving around and going out down 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:42.600 the stairs, like I was really finny. Although now it's hard, 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:44.560 but it's not as hard as it was because I'm 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:47.400 like one hundred pounds lighter. Oh wow, Yeah, but I 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:49.600 have gained back. I actually lost almost one hundred and 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:50.520 fifty pounds. 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:54.160 So can you not say that your surgery was then unsuccessful, 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:55.840 because that is a feat in itself. 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:57.360 You lost the whole human being I did. 0:07:57.360 --> 0:08:00.440 I lost a whole lot of weigh and have gained though. 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:04.320 But the fluctuation part is it does. It comes with emotions, 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:07.040 it comes with situations that happen in the industry or 0:08:07.040 --> 0:08:09.240 even in my life in general. But I have such 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:12.680 a close, deep like connection to my work that it's 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:15.120 almost just all the same. It's just all big one. 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:16.560 I'm mean, what do you mean you. 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:17.920 Have a deep connection. I don't mean that in a 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:22.120 condescending way. I mean, like, I've heard one other person 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:25.400 that works in like content adult contecreations that like, I'm 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:27.960 just so connected to my work, and I'm laughing. I'm like, 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:29.480 you what you. 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:33.080 Do honestly, Well, honestly, I just I love what I do. 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:35.719 And when I when I love what I do, you 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.400 can see it on camera. You can see it. It resonates 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:39.480 through all my work. 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:41.520 Does it make you feel mean, what do you love 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:42.920 about it? Do you does it make you feel just 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:46.360 super sexy? Do you love? I just love. 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:49.520 I just love being able to fuck all these men 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.720 and women and just have a good time. It's my 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:55.559 only life that I get to live in this life, 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:58.760 can I ask? So I'm gonna live it and have 0:08:58.800 --> 0:08:59.440 fun with it. 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:03.520 So, so two years before you started your content creation journey, 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:07.440 you got the gastric sleeve, you lost the weight, but 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:09.960 then also got into content creation as a BBW. 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:12.600 I was still a BBWs two hundred and ninety pounds. 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:18.720 So do you feel like leaning into the BBW category 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:22.600 also kept you maybe from losing more of that weight? 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:26.080 Probably definitely, because I think I wanted to make sure 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:29.840 that I was the audience and my audience and your 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:30.760 audience that wanted you. 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:34.320 Like, I think that that's the hard part. 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:38.080 Like it's so weird because you have society. But also 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:38.640 I would. 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:41.040 Say, other women, more than anything, make you feel as 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:43.200 though you're unworthy of love or being fucked. 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:45.120 You feeling the most from that's a good thing. Yeah, 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:46.880 Like do you feel it more for men or women? 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:49.040 When it's like what do you mean? Like just like 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:51.679 overall making you feel like your weight is too much 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:53.760 or hearn's way anything to me. 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.800 You know, it's it's honestly for me. I get a 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:59.240 lot of hate from men, really I do. I get 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.480 a lot of like really bad comments on my techotox, 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:04.280 in my in my Instagram reels. I get some nasty one. 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:09.120 So publicly met Yes, absolutely, yes, personally it was women. 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:11.800 So it was women that when they found out I 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:15.360 was fucking the same men as them. The men would 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:17.559 tell me what these women would say about me, Oh, 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.080 they made it seem as though I should be lucky 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:22.920 I'm fucking or they couldn't believe that the man that 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:24.520 they were fucking was fucking. 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:27.880 Me because oh my god, ill you like that? 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:32.000 And so personally, women, anytime they didn't like me, it 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:35.000 was always my weight, yes, my first attack and then 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.120 everything else, but my weight was always the number one 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:39.200 attack from women on a personal level. 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:39.960 Again on the internet. 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:42.040 Yet, right, men, no, I could say, you know for sure, 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.000 now that I think back to it, You're right. Women 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:47.600 do also have that vicious attack, like Eric, why are 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.280 you You're You're not supposed to have this hot ass man. 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:53.400 I have a story time with Julie, really quick, Come on, 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:55.760 we want to hear about a recent story too. Give 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:58.920 it to a fine ass man lives in Vegas. Oh girl, 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:01.120 let me tell you. When I a fine I mean 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:07.559 describe him six six muscular, he's like caramel tatted or 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:15.520 tatted up, big dick or not. Yes, well he lied, 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:19.240 he lied about something, and I'm not gonna a big liar. 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.040 How dare you? 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.959 So I'm waiting for him to come down to his 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:26.720 his building to come get me so he can go 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:29.080 up because I don't have access obviously like that. It 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.040 was in a nice place. Well, now you got money too, 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:34.680 let's go. He's hot, Okay, I'm sorry, that's a god damn. 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:37.520 So anyways, I'm waiting and there's this this, this skinny girl, 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:40.240 and she's waiting for her friend. So her friend comes in. 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:43.120 I'm just chit, just nice. I'm a pleasant person. I 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:45.040 don't I don't give off bad vibes. 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:47.079 You know, Hey, how you doing? Oh yeah cool? 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:48.040 You yeah, you visited? 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:48.920 Cool? You know you're just. 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:56.000 Trying to make conversation. He he That elevator door opens. 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.240 I'm sorry, I just flashed back for a second. The 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:03.520 elevator door opens and He's standing there shirtless with these 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:08.280 just semi short shorts on, just looking fucking Oh. My 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:10.760 heart started raising. I looked at him, he looked at me. 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:13.319 They looked at him because they stopped because they were 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:14.720 before me. I let them go first. 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:15.320 Oh, I know you. 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:17.080 I didn't know that he was coming down like that though. 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:19.840 Girls uh huh uh. 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:24.000 They walk in and I walk around, and he comes 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.600 straight to me and wraps his arms around me and 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:32.040 kisses me. And these girls were appalled. They were you 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:32.960 felt the judgment. 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:34.760 Oh, I felt the judgment. Hardcore? 0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:38.120 Wow, hardcore, and we both him and I both looked 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.200 at each other and just burst out laughing after they 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:42.520 got off the elevator. I love that he felt that 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:43.920 they were looking. 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:45.440 He was like damn. He's like, damn. 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:47.120 I didn't think that they were going to react like that. 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:49.400 And I was like, do you realize how hot you are? 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.240 And do you realize who I what I look like. 0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:53.680 They don't see that. They don't see that that's a 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:57.080 possible thing, that this man can be attracted to me 0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:59.000 and want me over your skinny ass. 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:00.800 You know I did. He did a guy that was 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:04.400 super skinny, maybe like like that scrawnny with whis Kalifa 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:06.480 used to look like. And he told me that when 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:09.880 he had dated bbwi's in the past, I was like, 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:11.640 is this fucked up? Or is it No? 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:14.320 Let's be very clear, the skinnier the nigga, the bigger 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:14.640 the bitch. 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:18.880 He told me, I don't like being out with women 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:21.360 that no one expects me to be out with. He's like, 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:23.680 I love it. He's like, I love girls staring at me. 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:25.679 I like niggas looking at me like I'm wrong. And 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:28.040 he's like, he's like, it's something about it, Like I like, 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:29.880 I just I'm out with someone they don't expect me. 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:30.360 But also loves me. 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:32.040 Very clear that skinny niggas. 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:33.680 Don't want to start a fire with y'all tweeg as 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:35.960 bitch it. They want a little loving, a little more 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:36.920 cush push. 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.720 Now they found that when you're dating these dudes and 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:44.600 or fucking them or whatever, it happens. Uh. We had 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:48.280 an episode recently about trans women and with trans women 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:50.120 and they were talking about feeling hidden and one of 0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:52.120 my friends, who is BBW, was like, girl, I felt 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:54.319 so triggered because I feel like I have so many 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:55.680 dudes that want to fuck me and we don't go 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:59.480 out anywhere together. Have you experienced that recently or just 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:02.040 any time in your past and tell us a little 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:02.760 bit about it. Yeah. 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:06.640 I mean, you know, as as someone of my status now, 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.360 I get a lot of people trying to you know, 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:11.439 hit me up, take me out, you know, things like that. 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:12.280 And I'm very. 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:14.880 Selective about who I do that with just because I 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:19.080 can be right. But when I have, you know, like 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:24.240 allowed that to happen, sometimes I feel like I do 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:27.000 get judged a lot, you know, for being out with 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.520 somebody who's you know, really hot, or even if they're not, Like, 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.320 I still get looked at because I'm a big girl. 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:33.320 I don't. 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:35.600 I don't get to not get looked at even when 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:36.080 I'm walking. 0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:37.200 Even when I'm. 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.760 Walking, like just anywhere I can be walking around New York, 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:40.640 people are looking at me. 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.440 I know they are. Have you I do I do 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:47.080 in a relationship where you knew it was just sexual 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:49.760 but that you guys didn't go out in public or 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:51.480 oh for sure? I think that. 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:54.320 I think that because of uh And I mean that's 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:56.800 this is recent. That's even with the six with six dude, 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:59.760 we've gone out and he's also gotten scrutinized when we've 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:03.720 been out together these women to his face, yes, wait 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:05.640 with me sitting there in the in this club we 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:06.520 went to after Hours. 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:07.240 I love the stories. 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:09.080 Let's go, and we went to after Hours. I'm with him. 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:10.520 This is one of the first times he really like 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:12.840 hung out, like outside of the bedroom. 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:14.720 Right. And so. 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:18.640 We're sitting there, I'm eating food, He's rubbing up on 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:20.400 me's touching on me, like making me feel like I'm 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:21.600 the best goddamn thing out there. 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.320 Right, It's amazing. 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:27.520 And these women, this older woman had said to him, 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:30.440 without me hearing, you really don't have to be doing that. 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:32.160 You don't have to be selling your body, you don't 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:34.880 have to be doing this. They thought I paid him. 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:37.360 They thought I was paying him to be with me. 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:40.960 Do you know who the fuck I am? Right right? 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:42.280 I thought he was a jiggalo. 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:47.520 They thought that you yes, yes, when it was nothing 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:48.720 but mutual fun. 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:50.080 Yeah. 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:51.960 And after that he said, hey, come on, let's go. 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:52.680 He was mad. 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:54.880 He was like, I'm total turned off he's and then 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:57.840 we just fucked for a long time. 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:02.080 How I feel like you've probably heard it all, But 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:04.920 when you hear it all, are you at this point 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:07.040 where like you can be blind to the bullshit. 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:09.360 I try to be because I don't want it to 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:11.840 to make my life unhappy. I don't. I don't want 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:14.120 to listen to the naysayers or the people who have 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:16.560 negative things to say. You know, I try to live 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:18.640 my life in a positive way. I really really do. 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:21.480 Back five years ago, not so much because I was 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.320 trying to figure out who I was in this industry 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:26.840 and even just as a person. And so over these 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:30.600 last five years, I've definitely grown and changed and just 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:34.200 don't listen to the bullshit and the negative things anymore. 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.520 And so when I go out with someone that's that hot, 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:41.000 I stand on my shit. I have that confidence now now, Yeah, 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:42.400 I wanted I didn't have it. 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:44.360 I want to wait. I wanted to ask you though, 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:47.720 when you were talking about people staring at you. We 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:52.000 see a lot of content now surrounding people. Just I 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.880 feel like there's this weird Okay, have you seen the 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.240 girl that got on the airplane and was trying to 0:16:57.240 --> 0:16:59.720 act like people were looking at her? She was wearing leggings. 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:03.360 And it feels like she's that really tiny yes, but 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:04.560 huge wide ass. 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:06.760 I was like, oh my god, I can't fit and 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.560 da da da da. People are making content like that, 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:11.640 almost like they're trying to get you to like set 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.480 of celebrating the business bigness. It's weird. But what I 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:16.920 wanted to ask you was things like that. On an airplane, 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.040 where are people making you feel the most uncomfortable? 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:26.000 Yeah, well, I've I've thankfully found an airline that gives 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.399 me a free extra seat so I don't have to 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.719 worry about being judged trying to get past people. I 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:35.080 used to feel really uncomfortable in an airplane. We're talking 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:36.080 what airing is that? 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:36.920 Southwest? 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:40.359 Oh? Yes, really they have for a person of size, 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:44.000 complimentary seat and I spill over most certainly, I do 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.800 so having someone and I've I've unfortunately been in that 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:50.040 situation where I'm I'm I'm all. 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:52.920 Like this, it's very uncomfortable. Oh my god. 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:56.119 Soya, no, no, no, people don't understand, like even if 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:59.600 you go back and watch episodes from twenty seventeen. I 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:03.919 got my my gastric sleeve in twenty eighteen. I remember 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:06.239 when I went out just with my coworkers, we went 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:09.560 to six Flags. I literally couldn't fit the rides at 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:10.440 six Flags. 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:11.360 I had to be. 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:13.640 Removed because they couldn't close the clamp on me. That's 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:18.080