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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: I made my best friend my maid of honor, but

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Speaker 3: now she's ghosting me. What a bit of background. My

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Speaker 3: maid of honor is my best friend from high school.

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Speaker 3: For the sake of this post, her name will be Livy.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from LPGO five one six

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Speaker 3: on the Okay Storytime Separate. So since the beginning of

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Speaker 3: our friendship, I have known about Livy's traumatic background that

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Speaker 3: has caused her to have severe PTSD anxiety and depression.

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Speaker 3: I too come from a rough background, and we bonded

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Speaker 3: over shared trauma. Livy has a tendency to isolate herself

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Speaker 3: from everyone around her when she's extremely overwhelmed and or depressed.

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Speaker 3: About a month and a half before the wedding, she

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Speaker 3: stopped talking to me. After about a week of her

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Speaker 3: not responding, I went over to her house to check

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Speaker 3: in on her. She explained to me what she was

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Speaker 3: going through, and I was right there to listen and

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Speaker 3: try to help to the best of my abilities. She

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Speaker 3: kept speaking to me for a few days and then

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Speaker 3: stopped again. I gave her some space, but I needed

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Speaker 3: her to be at a meeting with my wedding manager

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Speaker 3: to go over some fine details for the wedding. She

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Speaker 3: showed up and started speaking again for a few days,

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Speaker 3: then she stops again. I give her some more space

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Speaker 3: because I don't want to overwhelm her even more than

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Speaker 3: she already is. Two weeks go by and my family

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Speaker 3: hosts a bridal shower for me. She swore that she'd

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Speaker 3: be there. Thirty minutes after it starts. I don't hear

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Speaker 3: from her. I call her and text her, but there's nothing.

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Speaker 3: After i'd called her a second time, her boyfriend shows

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Speaker 3: up at the door with a gift. He explains that

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Speaker 3: Livy isn't doing too well today and she's been having

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Speaker 3: extremely bad panic attacks all morning. I let it be

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Speaker 3: and give her the day. The next day, we had

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Speaker 3: a meeting set for all the bridesmaids to get together

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Speaker 3: at my home and go over details such as hair, makeup, shoes, times,

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Speaker 3: et cetera for the big day. I had texted her

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Speaker 3: all morning trying to see how she was doing and

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Speaker 3: if she would be there tonight. I called her several

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Speaker 3: times through the day, with no luck. My fiance also

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Speaker 3: is a good friend of hers and also checked on

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Speaker 3: her with no luck. Finally, about thirty minutes before the

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Speaker 3: meeting was supposed to start, my fiance calls her boyfriend

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Speaker 3: and tells him that he is on his way to

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Speaker 3: come get her for the meeting. The boyfriend explains that

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Speaker 3: they're actually at a b day party for someone in

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Speaker 3: his family. By the way, the meeting was set up

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Speaker 3: a month prior as to make sure it was set

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Speaker 3: in everyone's schedules. My fiance at this point was getting

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Speaker 3: extremely angry, and I was having a meltdown because another

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Speaker 3: one of my bridesmaids also wasn't responding to me. The

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Speaker 3: other bridesmaid lost her phone and forgot about the meeting.

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Speaker 3: Livy went for another week without speaking to me. Exactly

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Speaker 3: two weeks before the wedding, I sent her this text,

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Speaker 3: Hey girl, I understand that you're struggling, but with the

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Speaker 3: wedding two weeks away, I really need communication when you

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Speaker 3: need help. I feel like I'm losing you and I

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Speaker 3: don't want that. I love you, and I will always

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Speaker 3: be here for you. I need to know that I

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Speaker 3: can count on you too, Rickets. For the next few days.

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Speaker 3: Yesterday I tried to call her several times with no answer,

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Speaker 3: so I went to her home to check in on her.

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Speaker 3: We waited for about ten minutes outside we could hear

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Speaker 3: them inside, and we called both her and her boyfriend

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Speaker 3: to see if they were okay. Finally I left. I

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Speaker 3: spoke to my wedding manager who's also my uncle, to

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Speaker 3: get his opinion on it, as well as my mother.

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Speaker 3: Both of them said that I only get one wedding day.

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Speaker 3: I need to focus on my happiness right now. They

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Speaker 3: both advise me to send her a text saying that

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Speaker 3: if I don't hear from her or her boyfriend by

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Speaker 3: a certain day, I need to move forward. I ended

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Speaker 3: up sending this message to her, Hey, I know that

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Speaker 3: you're struggling right now, and if it helped, we can

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Speaker 3: take the responsibility from the wedding off of you and

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Speaker 3: you can be a guest. You're my best friend and

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Speaker 3: I'd love to have you at my wedding, even if

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Speaker 3: it means that you're just a guest. Please let me

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Speaker 3: know by Friday at seven pm if you'd still like

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Speaker 3: to be in the bridal party. If I don't hear

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Speaker 3: from you by then, I will have to move forward

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Speaker 3: and I will see you as a guest at the wedding,

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Speaker 3: which I think is kind of the only path forward.

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Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, made of honor is kind of a

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Speaker 4: big rule.

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Speaker 5: Right, And it makes sense that, like, on top of

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Speaker 5: her panic attacks, like an added factor would be the

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Speaker 5: fact that she like has to be there. I'm sure

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Speaker 5: that would worsen them a little bit.

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Speaker 4: I think so.

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Speaker 3: I think also, like, I mean, I understand that she

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Speaker 3: probably was like, I'm going to push through it, but

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Speaker 3: it's like, if you're in that space, it's I think

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Speaker 3: it's best to just say hey, like as early as possible.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, hey, I don't think I can do this

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Speaker 4: right now.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but I'm kind of scared that she's not even

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Speaker 5: going to respond to that and just.

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Speaker 4: Not show up at the wedding. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I really don't want to lose her as a friend,

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Speaker 3: but I really need someone who I can rely on

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Speaker 3: because the wedding is in nine days. Am I the

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Speaker 3: a hole for threatening to kick my maid of honor

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Speaker 3: and her partner out at the wedding? Party, is there

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Speaker 3: something I could have done better? And there are some

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Speaker 3: relevant comments and an update. I don't think you're the

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Speaker 3: a hole. I think that you know, obviously her communication

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Speaker 3: skills aren't great, But I don't think that she's the

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Speaker 3: A hole.

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Speaker 4: I think she's going through a lot right now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, obviously, I still think it's pretty unfair to not

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Speaker 3: get that answer, in which case, I don't think you're

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Speaker 3: the Ale for saying, hey, like, we got a bout

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Speaker 3: any like, I don't think you're threatening to kick her

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Speaker 3: out of the wedding.

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Speaker 4: I think you're.

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Speaker 3: Saying, hey, I'm good at Like, it seems like you

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Speaker 3: can't provide me, you know, the time and energy that

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Speaker 3: I need for the wedding, So I think just come

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Speaker 3: if you are able to.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I feel like we've seen a lot of stories where

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Speaker 5: they're definitely just like, if you.

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Speaker 4: Can't be there for me, then don't even come at all,

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Speaker 4: or yeah, then you're to be the maid of honor. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: But she's very nice about it.

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Speaker 3: She's like, hey, like, I understand if you can't be

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Speaker 3: the maid of honor, just let me know or not.

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Speaker 4: So basically the answer is no, you're not the Ale

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Speaker 4: agreed well.

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Speaker 3: In comments, commenter one says, I feel like parking outside

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Speaker 3: of her house for ten minutes trying to get her

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Speaker 3: to talk to you is probably wildly triggering her PTSD.

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Speaker 3: Did you ever ask her what you could do to

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Speaker 3: make the maid of honor role fit or did you

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Speaker 3: just keep doing the same things and asked her to

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Speaker 3: talk more? Opie says, I have tried to make it

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Speaker 3: clear to her from the start that I do not

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Speaker 3: want to overwhelm her with this responsibility that she's accepted.

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Speaker 3: When I visit her the first time, I asked if

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Speaker 3: she needed any change to her role is made of honor,

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Speaker 3: such as if she needed a break from wedding planning

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Speaker 3: for a minute, or if she needed any of the

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Speaker 3: other bridesmaids or myself to help her with anything. She

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Speaker 3: told me that she could handle it, and also told

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Speaker 3: me that she would let me know if she needed help.

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Speaker 3: I don't feel like that commentary was very fair. It

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Speaker 3: seems like Ope from the start has been like, hey,

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Speaker 3: like checking in a lot, But I mean, the point

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Speaker 3: of it is to kind of help the bride out,

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Speaker 3: so there is that expectation that you're going to help

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Speaker 3: her out. Did it made of Honor do anything to

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Speaker 3: help with any of her duties. Opie says, she helped

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Speaker 3: me make a few decorations for the wedding, and I

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Speaker 3: was told that she bought everything for the bachelorette party,

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Speaker 3: but it was supposed to be this weekend. She kept

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Speaker 3: changing the plans for it and hasn't said anything for

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Speaker 3: two weeks about it. At this point, I've messaged the

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Speaker 3: other bridesmaids and inform them of what's going on. Is

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Speaker 3: it possible that Made of Honor's boyfriend could be controlling her,

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Speaker 3: Opie says, I'm not sure. They both have extremely complicated

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Speaker 3: backgrounds and bad trauma. His is honestly worse than hers

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Speaker 3: in some ways. I think they may be struggling to

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Speaker 3: put two traumatized people in one home, but I honestly

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Speaker 3: don't think they are too healthy for each other. And

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Speaker 3: Opie on being accused of prioritizing her wedding over a

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Speaker 3: maid of honors mental health, Opie says, at this point,

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Speaker 3: it's not just about my wedding, but also my mental

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Speaker 3: health as well. Currently, I have a million things going

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Speaker 3: on with my health and everything else. It's not good

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Speaker 3: for me to be crazy stress because it causes physical

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Speaker 3: issues that can be dangerous. I need someone that I

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Speaker 3: can rely on to help relieve some of this stress

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Speaker 3: for myself. I was trying to give her some space

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Speaker 3: so she didn't feel extremely overwhelmed and there is an update. Also,

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Speaker 3: don't feel like that commentary was very fair. I mean, like,

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Speaker 3: the wedding is kind of about her.

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Speaker 5: Difficult thing with it is that it's like it's not

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Speaker 5: that she's just making the wedding like a bigger deal

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Speaker 5: to make it a bigger deal, like one, it's a wedding,

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Speaker 5: they usually are a big deal.

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Speaker 4: But also it's like there's kind of a time limit

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Speaker 4: on it. Yah, I just need to know if you're

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Speaker 4: still in.

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Speaker 5: This right right? So I feel like, yeah, I don't

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Speaker 5: think it's fair at all.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that if you can't do it or

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Speaker 3: at any point you're like I don't know, like not

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Speaker 3: even responding, hopefully you can just say like I can't can't.

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Speaker 4: Be in this.

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Speaker 3: I also understand that maybe she's like in a space

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Speaker 3: where she's like I can't talk to anyone right now.

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Speaker 4: But it is yeah, a little interesting though.

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Speaker 5: I will say that like she planned the bridle shower

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Speaker 5: a month ahead and then she didn't go to that

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Speaker 5: because of supposed I don't know, mental health issues. But

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Speaker 5: she did go to a different party of like the boyfriend's. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: she so the girl she went to the boyfriend's like

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Speaker 5: family member's birthday party or something like that. That's a

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Speaker 5: little interesting to me, which could play in like if

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Speaker 5: the boyfriend is possibly manipulative or something.

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Speaker 4: That could be an outcome of that.

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Speaker 3: So, but there is an update. Let's see if we

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Speaker 3: get any more information. A month and a half later, Hello, everyone,

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Speaker 3: it's been a month since my and my husband's wedding.

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Speaker 4: Everything is going beautifully and we cannot be happier.

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Speaker 3: Okay, the wedding was beautiful with only a few hiccups

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Speaker 3: along the way. Another one of my bridesmaids was extremely

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Speaker 3: helpful and stepped in as made of honor. She really

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Speaker 3: didn't have to do much except for be at my

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Speaker 3: side because she's physically unable to do much strenuous activities

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Speaker 3: due to her pregnancy. All of my bridesmaids were beautiful

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Speaker 3: and extremely helpful to me on our big day. As

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Speaker 3: for Livy, I haven't heard from her since I sent

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Speaker 3: the text letting her know that I needed to hear

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Speaker 3: from her. The day after the deadline for us to

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Speaker 3: hear from them, I messaged her boyfriend Dan directly, letting

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Speaker 3: him know that he was still welcome to attender wedding

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Speaker 3: as a guest. We had a long conversation going back

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Speaker 3: and forth, and we ended on good terms. The next week,

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Speaker 3: we went to a friend's Halloween party where Dan was present. There,

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Speaker 3: he confided in me that Livy was getting too toxic

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Speaker 3: for him and he was going to ask her to

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Speaker 3: move out.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if I like he confide it in

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Speaker 4: her best friend.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean they seem to have like some sort

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Speaker 5: of friendship already, and I guess he just just was

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Speaker 5: like at the.

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Speaker 4: Party, a Halloween party.

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Speaker 5: I don't think it's that suspicious because I could see

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Speaker 5: it being like or she like asked about her, and

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Speaker 5: then Dan is like, I actually we you know, she

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Speaker 5: moved out.

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Speaker 3: It's just a more just like if I would tell

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Speaker 3: like a partner's friend that I was kicking him out,

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Speaker 3: you know, Like, I don't know if I would do that.

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Speaker 3: From what I have heard, it didn't end well. He

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Speaker 3: was hoping they could stay together but live separately, in

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Speaker 3: hopes of mending the relationship. When she moved out, she

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Speaker 3: had taken his laptop with her, and the last time

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Speaker 3: they spoke he asked for it back and she pretty

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Speaker 3: much spat in his face. Whoa Livy has cut off

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Speaker 3: all contact with what used to be mutual friends, which

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Speaker 3: is put strain on them. Dan did end up going

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Speaker 3: to the reception, and it was nice to see him there.

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Speaker 3: My husband and I speak to him every so often

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Speaker 3: to try and keep touch so he doesn't feel alone

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Speaker 3: in this point in his life. For those who are wondering,

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Speaker 3: Dan and I spoke about what I could have done

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Speaker 3: to make Livy act in such a way. He told

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Speaker 3: me that she vented to him a lot and told

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Speaker 3: him about how she was fed up with my husband

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Speaker 3: and I, but because he's also a friend, he chose

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Speaker 3: not to listen to much else she had to say

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Speaker 3: about us much. I hate that, like they're just trying

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Speaker 3: to get her involved in the wedding, and she's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: it seems like maybe like half of it was mental

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Speaker 3: health and half of was was She's just being kind

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Speaker 3: of like.

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Speaker 5: A yeah, because it is hard because it's like you

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Speaker 5: could only make so many excuses for mental health. You

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Speaker 5: know what, I mean, like at a certain point, it's

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Speaker 5: like you kind of do have to be responsible for

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Speaker 5: your actions.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, especially if you're going to agree to be a

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Speaker 3: maid of honor multiple times when Op checks and the

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Speaker 3: reason he wasn't speaking to us was to try and

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Speaker 3: save his relationship with Livy. By the way, you can

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Speaker 3: save your relationship with us by joining us live every

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Speaker 3: weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch

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Speaker 3: just to have her profile.

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Speaker 4: Just have it, well, give it a little tap.

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Speaker 3: And there is a little bit more. But yeah, dang,

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Speaker 3: that's rough. Yeah, realizing that Livys is not the friend

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Speaker 3: that you thought she was, especially when she's about to

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Speaker 3: your be yer made.

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Speaker 4: Of honor and she's talking behind your back. Right, that's

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Speaker 4: a loss right there, and such like poor timing.

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Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to finish this

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Speaker 3: story off. I have removed Livy as a friend on

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Speaker 3: all social media platforms, but I still have her number

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Speaker 3: saved just in case she ever wants to talk it

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Speaker 3: over again. We share trauma experiences and I never want

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Speaker 3: anyone with those experiences to feel alone when they have

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Speaker 3: their times when they're struggling. Thank you all for your advice.

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Speaker 3: From my last post. I hope you all have a

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Speaker 3: wonderful holiday season. And comment one says, you were extraordinarily

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Speaker 3: gracious under pressure and did everything possible to give her

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Speaker 3: every opportunity to be part of your day. And all

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Speaker 3: she had to do was maintain some basic decorum, but

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Speaker 3: she couldn't do it. You absolutely made the best choice

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Speaker 3: by separating her from her responsibilities and position in.

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Speaker 4: The wedding party.

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Speaker 3: So happy to hear you had a wonderful day and

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Speaker 3: hope you have many, many more years of this. Co

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Speaker 3: two says, I hope he gets his computer back, but

303
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,920
Speaker 3: seems so yuck to get it now that she must

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Speaker 3: have done something to damage it. Congratulations on your wedding.

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Speaker 3: Remember to call your maid of honor often to ask

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Speaker 3: about her baby and appreciate her more. Hope, he says.

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Speaker 3: Always we talk at least once a week. She's such

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Speaker 3: a sweetheart and she will make a fabulous mother. I

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Speaker 3: am so excited for her and her journeys ahead. And

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Speaker 3: that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, sometimes people are just truthfully like experiencing a mental

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Speaker 3: health crisis, and sometimes they're just showing you that you

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Speaker 3: cannot rely on them. It seems like this was kind

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Speaker 3: of hetting in that direction.

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Speaker 5: It also can be complicated sometimes too, where it's like, yes,

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Speaker 5: sometimes people are like going through something mentally and sometimes

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Speaker 5: like you could do your best to be there for them,

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Speaker 5: but at a certain point if you need to take

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Speaker 5: some time away while.

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Speaker 4: They're yeah, like protecting yourself. Yeah, then that's that's okay too.

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Speaker 4: But that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 5: My friend lied about his job and I got interrogated

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Speaker 5: because of it.

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Speaker 4: Kind of job does he have? Yeah, what's so serious

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Speaker 4: about that? Yeah? One of my longtime acquaintances, let's call

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Speaker 4: him Miles.

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Speaker 5: He also happens to be the spouse of my partner's

329
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Speaker 5: best friends. He had regularly mentioned being unhappy in his

330
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Speaker 5: current job due to late nights, lack of balance, etc.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from a legit jitimate concept

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Speaker 5: four three on the r slash Okay storytime separad It.

333
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Speaker 5: So his company happened to fall under a similar industry

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Speaker 5: to mine, and he always seemed like he.

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Speaker 4: Really had his crap together.

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00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,800
Speaker 5: My partner and I always knew they were financially struggling

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00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,560
Speaker 5: through conversations with his spouse. When a job opening came up,

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00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:20,960
Speaker 5: in my company. I gladly sent him the dats and

339
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,120
Speaker 5: gave my boss his name. I knew my company had

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Speaker 5: better conversation, flexibility, and culture.

341
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Speaker 4: It was a great opportunity.

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Speaker 5: And Miles agreed, and as it turns out, Miles got hired.

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Speaker 5: I reached out to Miles to send a congrats and chat.

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00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,720
Speaker 5: Miles expressed having some anxiety about giving his current employer notice.

345
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Speaker 5: I thought this was understandable and sent words of encouragement.

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Speaker 5: I honestly never gave it a second thought. A few

347
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,880
Speaker 5: months later, things got a little weird. I was on

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00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,240
Speaker 5: a call one day and received a meeting invite from

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Speaker 5: someone I didn't know, and the meeting was in five minutes.

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Speaker 4: WHOA, can I talk to you now? I need to

351
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,880
Speaker 4: go right now by now.

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Speaker 5: I reached out to the center to let them know

353
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Speaker 5: they must have the wrong person. She responded with, no,

354
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,880
Speaker 5: we have the right person. Please have your camera on

355
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Speaker 5: for this meeting. I hover over the name and see

356
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Speaker 5: this person is from the ethics department. I'm immediately worried

357
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,960
Speaker 5: that I did something wrong, but I couldn't pinpoint a

358
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Speaker 5: single thing that would have had to lead to a

359
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:21,360
Speaker 5: discussion with ethics. I joined the call and was greeted

360
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Speaker 5: by two individuals. After their warm greetings, they immediately switched

361
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Speaker 5: gears and started asking questions. I was completely stunned and

362
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,640
Speaker 5: my heart was racing. These questions were about my relationship

363
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,520
Speaker 5: with Miles, How do you know him? How did you meet?

364
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,920
Speaker 5: Would you consider yourself friends? Would you consider yourself best friends?

365
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,160
Speaker 5: How often do you speak with Miles? Would you consider

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Speaker 5: yourself the bestest friends of the whole world? I explained

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00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,760
Speaker 5: that I could consider Miles as a friend, but that

368
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Speaker 5: we weren't super close, that we spoke more sparingly prior

369
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Speaker 5: to his employment at our company, but probably speak on

370
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Speaker 5: the phone at least weekly now or meet for dinner.

371
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Speaker 5: Then they hit me hard with how long have you

372
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 5: known Miles was working for ex company and our companies simultaneously.

373
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Speaker 5: I was completely speechless. I managed to tell them I

374
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,120
Speaker 5: had no idea, but they were questioning how I couldn't

375
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,600
Speaker 5: have known my friend was doing this. I told them

376
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,960
Speaker 5: I remembered him mentioning having some anxiety about quitting, but

377
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,400
Speaker 5: I never followed up with that because I assumed he

378
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 5: would have quit the other job like.

379
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:21,840
Speaker 4: You're supposed to.

380
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,240
Speaker 5: Our new hire and annual training literally touches on this,

381
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,800
Speaker 5: and Miles took that training to.

382
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:28,480
Speaker 4: Make matters worse.

383
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,520
Speaker 5: It's a huge conflict of interest due to our relationship

384
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,360
Speaker 5: with the company.

385
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,720
Speaker 4: I got off the call. In my head it was spinning.

386
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 5: I immediately started replaying the last couple of months in

387
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,000
Speaker 5: my head. How did I miss this? I must be

388
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:44,160
Speaker 5: truly stupid, because here were the signs. My doctor's office

389
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,800
Speaker 5: is in the same building as the other employer. I

390
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 5: would go every two to three weeks for my chronic condition.

391
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,400
Speaker 5: Miles would sometimes ask me about how I was doing

392
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Speaker 5: with my condition and when my next treatment would be.

393
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Speaker 4: I thought he was being a good friend.

394
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,400
Speaker 5: Nope, he was giving his employer excuses to leave work

395
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,560
Speaker 5: on those days so I wouldn't see his car.

396
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,760
Speaker 4: Oh wait, no, I don't understand.

397
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,520
Speaker 3: Is he saying that he is going to this other

398
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:15,600
Speaker 3: company and Opie has like a doctors appointment at that company.

399
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,800
Speaker 5: So his doctors appointment is in the same building as

400
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:18,879
Speaker 5: the other employer.

401
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,480
Speaker 4: Okay, got I think that's what it is.

402
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,280
Speaker 5: So he didn't want op to ed his car and

403
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 5: we're getting for the other employer's company. Yes, so he

404
00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:29,240
Speaker 5: was asking about his treatments, so he knew when his

405
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,400
Speaker 5: doctor's appointments were that's crazy.

406
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,159
Speaker 4: There's probably a reason to this, but I don't know.

407
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:37,320
Speaker 4: Presumably i'd hope he was getting more money for two jobs.

408
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 5: The only thing I can imagine is like something government related,

409
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,399
Speaker 5: or like some sort of like competing law firm or

410
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:47,119
Speaker 5: something where they like can't know the secrets, or you

411
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 5: can have a.

412
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 4: Lawyer spy or something. I don't even know.

413
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 5: But another example, he was insisting to pay for our

414
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,159
Speaker 5: dinner multiple times, so when our household income was at

415
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 5: least two times higher. He also was telling me he

416
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,639
Speaker 5: felt like his train wasn't the best. He felt like

417
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,240
Speaker 5: people weren't available to answer his questions, you know, because.

418
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 4: He was juggling to nine to five jobs.

419
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:11,520
Speaker 5: So what an inconvenience that folks didn't immediately respond to

420
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 5: him while he was taking a quick parking lot break.

421
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 4: So I guess that might be what it is.

422
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 5: It's just that they're both full time jobs in the

423
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,959
Speaker 5: same time period, and yeah, that would be a problem.

424
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

425
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 5: Another bullet point is being super interested in learning how

426
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 5: to use his work phone hotspot so he could work

427
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,520
Speaker 5: from his patio. He was using it to work from

428
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 5: his other job and didn't think it would notice that

429
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,400
Speaker 5: much data was being used so consistently. Here's the details

430
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 5: on how this was initially discovered. We had a company

431
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,800
Speaker 5: event and a group photo was taken. It was posted

432
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 5: by a coworker on social media, ooh, the dangerous undronet.

433
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,120
Speaker 5: Someone at miles initial workplace saw the photo and said, wait,

434
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,919
Speaker 5: I know him. He had told his workplace that there

435
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,480
Speaker 5: was a family emergency and then proceeded to get dressed

436
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,960
Speaker 5: up and attend our company event. I told my part

437
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 5: about what happened, and we had a long conversation. We

438
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 5: both agreed we didn't want this to affect the relationship

439
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:09,240
Speaker 5: between my partner and myles spouse, but that my integrity

440
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 5: and reputation coming into question at my workplace was not cool.

441
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 5: Someone that could live this double life for two months

442
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,840
Speaker 5: and lie to me the entire time is not a friend.

443
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 5: So after much internal debate on whether or not I

444
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,919
Speaker 5: should call Miles out for his behavior, I decided to

445
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,680
Speaker 5: send him a long text. I needed him to know

446
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,320
Speaker 5: how terrible this made me feel and what it could

447
00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:32,320
Speaker 5: have done to my career. I told him that I

448
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 5: can't be acquainted with him anymore, and he responded with

449
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 5: an apology and said it was his anxiety.

450
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 4: So I didn't know how.

451
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 3: To tell them that I was in I They said

452
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 3: I had to quit the other job, but I didn't

453
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 3: know how to quit the other job because I didn't

454
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 3: want to make them feel bad.

455
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 4: I just never did that. Yeah, maybe he went into incomes.

456
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 4: Maybe it was Schuman.

457
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 3: It's like that a new girl clip Werschmidt's like, I'm

458
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,400
Speaker 3: still dating both of them.

459
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,639
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, like you count two lives. He planned to

460
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 5: quit the other job, but he was just waiting for

461
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 5: the right time, and it never felt like the right time.

462
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 5: That's like breaking up with someone.

463
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:07,359
Speaker 2: I don't know.

464
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 4: I just like started dating someone else because it was

465
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,160
Speaker 4: really hard. It was never the right time. It would

466
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 4: be nice. Yeah, I was gonna do what I promise.

467
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 5: I empathize with anxiety and depression because I struggle with

468
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 5: them daily.

469
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 4: I let him know that I get it, but I

470
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,119
Speaker 4: still have to stick with my boundaries. This was the

471
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 4: last time we spoke.

472
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,920
Speaker 5: Since then, I found out that his spouse never found

473
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 5: out the truth of what transpired.

474
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,400
Speaker 4: This man has too many secrets.

475
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 5: His spouse refers to it as their drama, and I

476
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 5: don't want to be involved, but told my partner entirely

477
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,679
Speaker 5: different details. The spouse has no idea that Miles was

478
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 5: still working at his other job. Miles told his spouse

479
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,119
Speaker 5: that he was fired for working weekends at his dad's

480
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 5: auto shop. Interesting, he lied and completely downplayed what he

481
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,639
Speaker 5: did to make it seem like an injustice. And now

482
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,159
Speaker 5: I've found out that anyone Miles speaks with about the

483
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 5: situation thinks I'm an a for ending the friendship.

484
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,200
Speaker 4: My partner and I have not refuted any.

485
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 5: Of this with Miles's spouse or others because we don't

486
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 5: want to participate in the drama, nor do we want

487
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 5: to valop to violate miles privacy.

488
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:12,639
Speaker 2: Reddit.

489
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 5: I ask you this because in the past I've been

490
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 5: told I'm too quick to shut people out, that I

491
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 5: don't have enough patience with others, and my sense of

492
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 5: justice is too much. So am I the a hole?

493
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,680
Speaker 5: And there is an edit? But what's our answer right now?

494
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 3: So you know he lied to you and partner, Yeah,

495
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 3: he's still lying.

496
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 4: He almost lost you your job right of his lies.

497
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,240
Speaker 4: I agree. Not cool.

498
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 5: I understand not wanting to be in the drama, but

499
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,719
Speaker 5: I feel like if you don't want to lose these friends, like,

500
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:49,199
Speaker 5: tell people the truth because Miles was sabotage in you.

501
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 4: But here is our edit.

502
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 5: I forgot to mention that Miles was fired from both

503
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 5: companies after the investigation.

504
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 4: I was cleared.

505
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 5: I have a great relationship with my manager and recently

506
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 5: accepted a better pace. Congratulations. A lot of folks are

507
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 5: saying I am the a hole for not telling the spouse.

508
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,199
Speaker 5: Trust me, I want to tell the spouse when it

509
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 5: didn't happen to come up. Once when my partner and

510
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 5: the spouse were hanging out. The spouse had all the

511
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 5: wrong details but said that they didn't want to get

512
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:19,400
Speaker 5: involved in the drama. My partner respected that. However, I've

513
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 5: taken everyone's comments constructively and plan to speak with my

514
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 5: partner about this again.

515
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 4: Maybe we can.

516
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 5: Invite the spouse over for dinner one evening and get

517
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 5: it over with. I'll let everyone know how this goes

518
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,440
Speaker 5: and there is another update.

519
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 3: Yeah man, oh man, I mean I guess, yeah, I

520
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 3: don't know fully how if you should go and talk

521
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,920
Speaker 3: tell that partner and stuff everything, because I think maybe

522
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 3: it's easier to just like not get involved unless he's

523
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 3: going to your mutual friends.

524
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, tell him lies and stuff.

525
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like it's a lot easier to accept that,

526
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,719
Speaker 5: Like this guy that's like lying is like bad person.

527
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 5: And if you're not that close with his spouse, then

528
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 5: like that might be easier for you to let go of.

529
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 5: But if your spouse, op is like having trouble with

530
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 5: the friendship or the other spouse is like, you know,

531
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 5: thinking bad thoughts of you, then like, yeah, then you'd

532
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 5: want to stand.

533
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 4: Up for yourself.

534
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess it depends on how close you are

535
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 3: to this the way.

536
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 5: But as for our update, Opie says, hey, folks, sorry

537
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 5: for the long wait and wish I had a moment

538
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 5: to share. We're parents and have been busy with year

539
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 5: end things for their school and prepping for vacation. I

540
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 5: also got promoted at work and was transitioning roles. By

541
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 5: the way, we always have a moment to share it

542
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 5: with you all of these other stories when we go

543
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 5: live every weekday at three pm PSD on YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, Twitch,

544
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 5: all of it.

545
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 4: We're probably live literally right now. Go check in one second.

546
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 5: But there's a bit more in some comments. Let's just

547
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 5: jump right into it. My partner received a call from

548
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 5: Miles's spouse this week, who basically asked what it would

549
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 5: take for Miles and I to reconcile. My partner said, well,

550
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 5: Miles should probably start by apologizing, to which the spouse

551
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 5: seemed confused. They agreed a discussion is needed. More to

552
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 5: come and we have some comments. Aaby four six seven says, wtf.

553
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 5: Not only are you not the a hole, but Miles

554
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 5: needs some serious therapy to get him to the point

555
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 5: where he stops letting his anxiety prevent him from adulting.

556
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 4: Like all the hoops he jumped through to make.

557
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 5: Two jobs I want to work for two months is

558
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 5: a lot of work, and it would have been so

559
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 5: much simpler for him to just tell his boss that

560
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 5: he quit.

561
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 4: As for the lies he is telling.

562
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 5: Friends, you need to stop protecting him and tell them

563
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 5: the real reason that you're not friends anymore.

564
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 4: A little truth would go a long way to fix that.

565
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 5: Actually, he almost lost me my job by lying about

566
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 5: working for both my company and ex company at the

567
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 5: same time for months. I can't be friends with someone

568
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:59,199
Speaker 5: who would selfishly innuke my livelihood like that, and Ope responds,

569
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 5: I honestly, you think my partner has avoided having his

570
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,479
Speaker 5: friend over for fear that I might word vomit.

571
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,679
Speaker 4: It's been hard to keep to myself. But on the

572
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 4: other hand, I don't feel like it will do any good.

573
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 4: And that's it too. That's all we got.

574
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I don't know if you necessarily have

575
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 3: to rehash it out with Miles, but I think if

576
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 3: your partner and his partner have like a good relationship

577
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 3: or had a good relationship, maybe truth sharing can go

578
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 3: on there. But that is the end of that story.

579
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 3: My best friend didn't speak to me for seven years.

580
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 3: Now she's back as if nothing happened, and she's like, hey.

581
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 4: Girl, everyone's alive.

582
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 3: Right. We've got Vision and the Avengers. My friend from college.

583
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 3: We were best friends and inseparable. We had so many

584
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 3: great memories, could talk about anything, did pretty much everything together.

585
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from grateful to be here

586
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,479
Speaker 3: on the okay storytime separate, so it was mutual on

587
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 3: both ends. We never fought and I was under the

588
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 3: impression everything was good. I think that's why I came

589
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 3: as such a huge shock. After we graduated. She stopped

590
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 3: answering my calls, texts, messages on Facebook. She was just

591
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 3: heart it and not reply. I was crushed. I had

592
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 3: sent her a message on Facebook and asked if I

593
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 3: had done anything or said anything wrong, and if I did,

594
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 3: definitely not intentional because I have always cared for her.

595
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 3: No response. It went like this for seven years. It

596
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 3: honestly broke my heart. I kept replaying everything in my

597
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 3: head to try to see if there was anything something

598
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 3: could have been misunderstood. Did I say something unknowingly? I

599
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 3: was heartbroken, felt abandoned, and the worst part was not

600
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 3: knowing or being given an answer. After seven years, one

601
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 3: of our mutual friends, who she was still in touch with,

602
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 3: gave me her new number, so I reached out and said, Hey,

603
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 3: just wanted you to know you've been missed. If I

604
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 3: said or did anything unknowingly, I'm sorry. She said, Oh,

605
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 3: you know how technology is. How many people have said

606
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 3: they have tried to reach me. But I wasn't getting

607
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 3: any of the messages yet she was harding them. Such

608
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 3: a stupid, lame excuse. That really is I kind of

609
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 3: freaking hate when people are like to a certain extent.

610
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,479
Speaker 3: You can be bad at technology or like bad at

611
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 3: responding to messages because everyone is.

612
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 4: If you're gonna lie, at least be good at it.

613
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 2: Now.

614
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 3: For the past few months, she's been going about as

615
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 3: if this never happened and has been buddy, buddy, I'm

616
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 3: happy she's back in my life, but I'm starting to realize,

617
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 3: you know, like, no, this was not cool. You don't

618
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 3: just walk out of someone's life for seven years, chalk

619
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 3: it up to technology, and then.

620
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 4: Act like we're all good.

621
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 3: It's hard because I love her and want to be friends,

622
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 3: but I'm like, is she just gotta walk out again

623
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 3: for seven years with no explanation and some bogus excuse.

624
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 3: I'm still hurt because I don't feel like I've gotten

625
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 3: a real answer. And hey, she was still in touch

626
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 3: with her mutual friends for all those years. A few

627
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 3: of them ended up having a fallout with her in

628
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 3: the past year, and then she needed me and started

629
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 3: writing back because she didn't have other friends. And I'm

630
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 3: starting to realize that maybe that's not a real friend.

631
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 3: It is not I thought about just being like, look,

632
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 3: technology was working just fine when you were talking slash

633
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 3: hanging out with our other friends. Like spill, what's the

634
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 3: real reason you stopped talking to me? Because you know what,

635
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 3: that crap hurt? What are your thoughts on this could

636
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: use some solid advice. Should I just block her and

637
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 3: move on with my life? I don't know what to do,

638
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 3: and there are some realm and comments in an update,

639
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 3: But I think, regardless of whether or not you're going

640
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 3: to continue this friendship, I think you do need to

641
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 3: have that conversation with her because it seems like it's

642
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 3: been bothering you.

643
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 6: Yeah.

644
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 5: I agree, because it's like, I mean, she's obviously not

645
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 5: going to address it and like she's just gonna keep

646
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 5: ignoring it. So if you wanted to be brought up,

647
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:41,959
Speaker 5: then you gotta bring it up.

648
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 3: Relevant comments. Vegas Solo says, personally, I would confront her

649
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 3: and after she answered, I would tell her that I

650
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 3: didn't want to be friends anymore. Ope says right, because

651
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 3: I'm genuinely pretty hurt. I'm like, you ghost me for

652
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 3: seven years with no explanation, and when I tried to

653
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 3: communicate to see if I unknowingly did something, she just

654
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 3: wouldn't reply. And all these years later, she's all buddy

655
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 3: buddy and acting like it never happened and it's been

656
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 3: all good this whole time. Her excuse doesn't sit well

657
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 3: with me. It's like, look, just be real, because right

658
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 3: now it feels like I'm not appreciated or valued to

659
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 3: just drop me like that and then pick me up

660
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 3: again after she had a fallout with a few of

661
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 3: other friends. Opie added this in the comments. Thanks for

662
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 3: the response. What hurt the most was that she was

663
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 3: actively engaging slash hanging out with our other friends. She

664
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 3: wasn't even that close to before she even flew out

665
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 3: to see them, So it hurt that I felt singled

666
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 3: out when I honestly can't think of what I could

667
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 3: have done to just be cut out like, no response,

668
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 3: nothing until she had no one else anymore.

669
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 4: And there is.

670
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 3: Another update, but yeah, the same thoughts. I think you've

671
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 3: been in the dark for seven years and you need

672
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 3: this closure.

673
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 4: It's seven years. This is a lot of time time.

674
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 5: Major things can happen in your life in seven years,

675
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 5: you know, jobs, relationships, also big stuff.

676
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 4: Update.

677
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 3: A few days ago, I posted about how my college

678
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 3: best friend.

679
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 4: Ghosted me for eight years.

680
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 5: Edit.

681
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 3: Op rehashed the original post, so I edit it out.

682
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 3: The answer didn't sit well with me, but I was

683
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 3: honestly happy to finally get a response after eight years.

684
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 3: We've been catching up for the past few months. But

685
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 3: if I'm honest. The answer seemed like BS. So some

686
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 3: fellow redditors recommended just cutting her off, and some said

687
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:29,719
Speaker 3: to confront her straight up. So I confronted her, and

688
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 3: she said the truth was one of our mutual friends

689
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 3: was in her ear feeding her lies and gossip about me,

690
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 3: and after eight years, she realized that that girl wasn't

691
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 3: a true friend, and that everything she said about people

692
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 3: was a lie, and that she wasn't a good person.

693
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 3: I'm not sure how to respond. A part of me

694
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 3: is like, we were best friends, you know me, my heart,

695
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 3: and you believe another friend ghost me with no explanation,

696
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 3: no response for eight years over a lie. That is

697
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 3: so incredibly frustrating me. Like someone's whispering in your ear and

698
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 3: you don't even double check that, you don't even fact

699
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 3: check it.

700
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 4: Part of me was thinking that it's some sort of

701
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 4: unresolved drama. But that's even worse. But it's like she's

702
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 4: not even giving you a chance.

703
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 3: I guess I just wish she would have been opened

704
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 3: to hearing my side as best friends. Had it been

705
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 3: the other way around, I would have been like, hey,

706
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 3: this was said, and I just want to run it

707
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 3: by you. She didn't even care to hear my side

708
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 3: and found out eight years too late that none of

709
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 3: it was true because that friend started doing that to hurt.

710
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 3: A part of me is heartbroken that a lie took

711
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 3: away eight years of friendship. Another part of me is like, dude,

712
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 3: not even a response or even trying to hear my side.

713
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 3: Is she going to do this again? I already have

714
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 3: gone through abandonment with my dad, as she knows, and

715
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 3: going through this when it's hard to let people in.

716
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 3: I trusted her let her in and honestly it crushed me.

717
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 3: Being ignored and not knowing why hurts. I'm not sure

718
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 3: what to do. Do I cut her off? I'm not

719
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 3: sure if it'll ever be the same. I'm just apalled

720
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 3: that she dropped me over BS gossip without even hearing

721
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 3: my side. Eight years has gone by, and I'm just

722
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 3: what would you do? And if anyone has gone through

723
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 3: something similar, we'd love to hear and I would love

724
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 3: for you guys to join us live every weekday at

725
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 3: three PMPST on YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok.

726
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 4: Just tap her profile.

727
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 3: There are some relevant comments to finish this story off.

728
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 4: But what would you do if you were in a

729
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 4: peace position?

730
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 2: Yeah?

731
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 4: I would definitely definitely talk to her and be like, yo,

732
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 4: like I get it that, like that.

733
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 5: Friend wasn't cool and she was like lying about me

734
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 5: and whatever, but also like you weren't cool, and I

735
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 5: feel like it's understandable too, Like even besides all that,

736
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 5: to just be like, yeah, I mean we haven't talked

737
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 5: in like eight years.

738
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 4: I just don't vibe with you anymore, you know what

739
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 4: I mean? Because eight years is a freaking long time.

740
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 2: You were a digital.

741
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 3: Person, you could be a totally different personnel, it seems

742
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 3: to OOP. I mean, does still get along with this

743
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 3: person in this new phase of their friendship. But I

744
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 3: think the fact that it took her months to tell

745
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 3: you the truth about why she stopped being friends with

746
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 3: you is just right cowardly right.

747
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 5: And I feel like if she like knew that this

748
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 5: other friend was like telling lies and stuff and was

749
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 5: like you know, making her not like op, then it's like,

750
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 5: wouldn't you start that friendship again with apologizing.

751
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm so sorry I had all this information and

752
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 3: I shouldn't have listened to it. Yeah, I would start

753
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 3: it off with that, right, I've done that before. After

754
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 3: like three years, Yeah, I like met someone again and I.

755
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 5: Was like, oh my gosh, hey, yeah, so it was

756
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 5: a weird time back then, you know what I mean.

757
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 3: And then we hung on and then it was chill.

758
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,040
Speaker 3: There is a little bit left lovely. Danny twenty says

759
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 3: something like this happened to me. We were best friends

760
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 3: from childhood through our earliest twenties. She cut me off

761
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 3: for four years right when I got married. When she

762
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 3: started contacting me again, she claimed she had ghosted me

763
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 3: because of her bad mental health, except she didn't really

764
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 3: consider my mental health. She was supposed to be a

765
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 3: bridesmaid and instead she ghosted. She also never even reached

766
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 3: out when I had my first child. When she tried

767
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 3: to rekindle things, I listened to her whole story and

768
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 3: didn't interrupt. She said she realized I was one of

769
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 3: the best friends she had and blah blah blah blah blah.

770
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 3: But at the end, I said, I can't be friends

771
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 3: with anyone who would betray me like that, and that

772
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,439
Speaker 3: was it. I've never spoken to her or really thought

773
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 3: about her since. Opie says that part she didn't consider

774
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,959
Speaker 3: your mental health that hit. It took a mental toll

775
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 3: on me for years, just knowing replaying our last interactions.

776
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 3: I fell into depression for a bit and felt so hurt, betrayed,

777
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 3: abandon with not even an explanation. For eight years, she

778
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 3: said the same thing to me that she realized I

779
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 3: was her truest friend. It's like, oh, how convenient after

780
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:39,240
Speaker 3: all these years, now that you're alone. FGN fifteen says,

781
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 3: in your shoes, you can choose the level of your relationship.

782
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 3: You don't have to jump straight back to bestie's. You

783
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 3: can be acquaintances first. She doesn't have a right to

784
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 3: your time or friendship and honestly has a boatload of

785
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 3: work to do to demonstrate a change of heart. If

786
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 3: you discover that she's put in the work to make

787
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 3: real changes in herself, I think that might be a

788
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,280
Speaker 3: green light to slowly presus you'd be on acquaintances. But honestly,

789
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,479
Speaker 3: having a dear friend ghosts me in a similar way

790
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 3: and having fewer f's to give. I hope her life

791
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 3: is good, but stay away from me. I don't need

792
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 3: that kind of friendship. And Opie says, I kind of

793
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 3: feel like she came back because she has no more friends.

794
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 3: She's dropped some and some have dropped her recently, and

795
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 3: Opie made a final resolution in the comments. Everything is stupid,

796
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 3: says I wouldn't be able to trust someone after they

797
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 3: did that. You deserve better, and Opie responded, I agree,

798
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 3: thank you all for your input. I ended up telling

799
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 3: her I didn't want to move forward with being friends,

800
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 3: then blocked her, which I think is the right solution

801
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 3: for the right answer for Opie.

802
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think so, yeah, which I think she figured out.

803
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 4: That is the end of that story.

804
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,319
Speaker 1: Sam here ogi host. We're going to get back to

805
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 1: these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

806
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 2: First, my sister in law called me inconsiderate after I

807
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,280
Speaker 2: took care of her cats for two weeks.

808
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 6: Two weeks, Double it and give it to the next person.

809
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 2: I've been watching my sister in law's cat for the

810
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 2: sixteen days during Christmas and New Year's I have very

811
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 2: limited time to do so because I have six pets

812
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 2: of my own to take care of while also working

813
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 2: full time. Plus her cat stresses my own cats out

814
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 2: and they act out when he is around. By the way,

815
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,799
Speaker 2: this comes from user not a Tough Bug and you

816
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 2: can submit your stories on the r slash Okay storytime

817
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 2: subreddit so I agreed to do this because I had

818
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 2: no choice, really, and I'm a cat lady, so I

819
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 2: did it for her cat. In the end, I had

820
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 2: no choice quote unquote, because my sister in law asked

821
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 2: two days in advance. She was leaving the state for

822
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 2: two weeks and she asked me and my husband her

823
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 2: brother to watch her cat because he wasn't up to

824
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 2: date on vaccines and couldn't fly with her. So fine,

825
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 2: I agreed, and I did so nicely, not reluctantly, and

826
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 2: she paid us one hundred dollars. We picked the cat

827
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 2: up from her, and she lives thirty minutes away from us.

828
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,520
Speaker 2: She sort of acted like one hundred dollars was a

829
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,720
Speaker 2: lot to do this, and she could boss us around

830
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 2: on when to come get him since she's paying us

831
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: for me. It was just in case he needed something,

832
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 2: because one hundred dollars is it much to watch a

833
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 2: pet that long and even pick up the cat for her. Plus,

834
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 2: I wasn't doing it for the money, and it was

835
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 2: over the holidays. I spent a portion of that buying

836
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,800
Speaker 2: him Christmas gifts for his stocking. I'm a cat lady,

837
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 2: so this is normal. Anyways, she was supposed to pick

838
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 2: him up Saturday. She ended up taking a super late

839
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 2: flight back home instead and told my husband she'd pick

840
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 2: him up Sunday. We are supposed to get a lot

841
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:24,240
Speaker 2: of rain and wintery snow mix on Sunday, and last

842
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 2: year at this time we were snowed in from the

843
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 2: ice storm for over a week. We offered to bring

844
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,320
Speaker 2: her the cat Saturday night to her house thirty minutes away.

845
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: When she got in and she got upset and told us, no,

846
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 2: she's getting into late and will come Sunday. Her cat

847
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 2: has been in his own room, crying and scratching the

848
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 2: door to come out. I give him attention and do

849
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,879
Speaker 2: let him out sometimes for a bit, but I have

850
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,959
Speaker 2: my own pets. I didn't want him to be stuck

851
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 2: in a room alone for another week crying, which is

852
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 2: the only reason we offered to take him to her.

853
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 2: So my husband said, just come in the morning then,

854
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 2: and she said she's going to come at six am Sunday,

855
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,280
Speaker 2: trying to be spiteful because six am is absurd, but whatever,

856
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 2: and he laughed and told her, okay, so we're expecting

857
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,439
Speaker 2: her in the morning. We're in bed and at one

858
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 2: am my phone is going off with alerts that someone

859
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 2: is at the door. I open it and see on

860
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: the camera she's outside our house with a guy she's

861
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 2: been dating, telling him that he'll have to take his

862
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,919
Speaker 2: shoes off when he comes inside because we don't wear

863
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 2: shoes in the house. She says it to him as

864
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 2: if we're weird slash embarrassing people for that. Meanwhile, I

865
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 2: am in bed, my husband is asleep, and I look

866
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 2: like crap. My friend actually passed away just two days ago,

867
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,760
Speaker 2: and I've been crying a lot, not showering, not brushing

868
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 2: my teeth, well, yeah, not brushing my hair. So yeah,

869
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 2: I know, because you're literally in grief. You're grieving, that's crazy.

870
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 2: So I'm not in any place to be answering the

871
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,399
Speaker 2: door right now to this random dude I've never met.

872
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 2: If it was just her, then that would have been fine.

873
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 2: But this random dude works at the same company as me,

874
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 2: and given the line of work I do, our paths

875
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 2: will cross soon. I care a lot about my career

876
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 2: and I work very hard to maintain professional relationships to

877
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 2: ensure we complete all the technical work that is needed.

878
00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:59,840
Speaker 2: So I didn't want to answer the door for the

879
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 2: time to this guy with oily, tangly hair, red eyes,

880
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,760
Speaker 2: no makeup, in my pajamas. I mean, honestly, you shouldn't

881
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 2: want to answer the door because she told you she'd

882
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 2: be there tomorrow morning.

883
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 6: At six am. At one am, like it's still tonight

884
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,280
Speaker 6: and she never communicated this to you prior.

885
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 2: I wake my husband up and he's in shock that

886
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 2: she is here with him at one in the morning.

887
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 2: He calls her and is like, what the heck, it's

888
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,880
Speaker 2: one am and we're literally asleep, and she just said

889
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,720
Speaker 2: bring her her cat. He gets mad and says, okay,

890
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 2: this time I will, but never ask me for anything again.

891
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 2: And she says she won't angrily and hangs up the phone.

892
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 2: They have the same fight all the time, but we

893
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 2: just keep doing stuff for her. Anyways. He gets dressed

894
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 2: and tells them to wait in the car and he'll

895
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 2: bring the cat out. And I get the cat in

896
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 2: its cage and pack up all his stuff really quick. Pause,

897
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: stop doing things for her. If this is what always happens,

898
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 2: don't do things for her.

899
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 6: You're making it too easy for her.

900
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 2: Low key like this. You know, she probably knew that

901
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 2: she could get a strong arm op into this because

902
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 2: she likes cats, so the show knowing like, oh, well,

903
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 2: if I don't find a sitter, I don't know what

904
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do. It's like, for the sake of the cat,

905
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 2: I'll watch the cat for two weeks.

906
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 6: No, yeah, I was gonna say who else was she

907
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 6: could give the cat to because it was just a

908
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:08,800
Speaker 6: short notice.

909
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 2: Oh you can't do it for me. You guys are

910
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,760
Speaker 2: the worst scumbag taking advantage of her own family. Now

911
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 2: the cat is gone and I'm laying in bed and

912
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,799
Speaker 2: watching the full video of them at the door, and

913
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 2: she's essentially bad mouthing us, saying that we're rude to

914
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 2: not just open the door and welcome them in, and

915
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 2: she would never do that. Almost crap talking us. It

916
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 2: feels like about us being a shoeless house, saying my

917
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 2: husband always acts like this, and making fun of him

918
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 2: to this guy, essentially acting like we're the problem because

919
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,879
Speaker 2: she showed up unannounced at one am. Also, she kept

920
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 2: ringing the camera doorbell very aggressively. She rang it four

921
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 2: times while waving at the camera smirking. Also, I would

922
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,359
Speaker 2: never bring a stranger over to her house, especially not

923
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 2: at one am or unannounced. Plus, I don't want just

924
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 2: anyone from where I work, knowing where I live. Yeah. No,

925
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,319
Speaker 2: all this is like the sister is just like being

926
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 2: the most inconsiderate person that that's putting it very nicely me.

927
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,320
Speaker 2: My mother in law claims to be a super private

928
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 2: person all the time, won't share any details about herself

929
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 2: to people, so she knew what she was doing. She

930
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 2: also knows her brother, my husband has drawn a pretty

931
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 2: clear boundary about not wanting just anyone in the home.

932
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 2: I don't really care. I'm more friendly than that, but

933
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,919
Speaker 2: I would want to heads up. At least she could

934
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 2: have just had him wait in the car and come

935
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:22,959
Speaker 2: to the door by herself. Given the circumstances, I feel

936
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 2: like she is just extremely childish, selfish, and rude. She's

937
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 2: literally older than both of us too. I kept holding

938
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 2: back from going off on her or sending her a

939
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:35,240
Speaker 2: nasty text, but I finally did send her this quote.

940
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 2: I don't appreciate you talking badly about us outside of

941
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 2: our home to your friend. We have to all work together,

942
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 2: and it's incredibly rude to bring someone to our home

943
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 2: and paint us poorly. I took good care of Scruffy

944
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,479
Speaker 2: for the last two weeks gave him time. I don't

945
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 2: have bottom gifts, made sure he wasn't scared, and got

946
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 2: enough attention. We offered to bring him to you since

947
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 2: the weather was going to be bad tomorrow. I was

948
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 2: worried it was going to get icy and he would

949
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: be here even longer. He's been miserable, crying and yowling,

950
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 2: and I felt bad and didn't want him to end

951
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 2: up having to go another week feeling that way. My

952
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 2: friend just passed away and I've been crying NonStop. So

953
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 2: I'm not in any place to be welcoming unannounced visitors

954
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 2: into my home. I care a great deal about my

955
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 2: professional image and work hard to maintain good relations at

956
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 2: work or my job. I'm extremely upset with you for

957
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 2: acting like we are rude people to your friend, or

958
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 2: even believing that yourself. After all I did for Scruffy

959
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 2: and ultimately for you these last two weeks. So is

960
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,439
Speaker 2: she right? Am I the a hole? For not letting

961
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 2: them inside? Was my text? Rude? Am I the A hole?

962
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 2: If I cut her off completely? This is not the

963
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 2: first nor the last time she will behave this way,

964
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,399
Speaker 2: and I'm tired of it. And I usually don't care

965
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 2: what people think of me, but it bothers me that

966
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 2: someone from work is now involved in this random drama

967
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 2: she brought to our front doorstep. And by the way,

968
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 2: knock knock on your front doorstep, who's there? It's full episodes.

969
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: Who with stories like these welcome in, Come on in.

970
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 2: All you have to do to listen to them is

971
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 2: go to Spotify or Apple podcasts or wherever you listen

972
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 2: to podcasts and search. Okay, story time, and we do

973
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 2: have more story, but before we finish, Like, clearly, Op,

974
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 2: you're not the a hole here, I would fully support

975
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 2: cutting her off because this is not the first time

976
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 2: that she's done this. Literally, the she dropped that line

977
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 2: about this is the same argument that my husband always

978
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 2: has with his sister, and he always goes, yeah, I

979
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 2: won't do anything for you again, don't ask me for

980
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 2: anything ever again, and then she inevitably will ask for something.

981
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 6: I think this is the last straw. I feel like

982
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 6: the bad mouthing, the rude awakening at one am and

983
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 6: no communication, her not being thankful enough. I think this

984
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 6: was the last straw. Both accounts that we are not

985
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 6: doing anything that sucks. That's what it's come to. I

986
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 6: feel like you should also talk to this guy and

987
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 6: be like, hey, why were you there at one am?

988
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 6: By like, why were you with her at one am?

989
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 6: Kind of weird? I'm sorry that that's not how I

990
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 6: present myself. But was one am the.

991
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's I would also say probably, I know you

992
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 2: you mentioned your professional image a lot, but like, I

993
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 2: wouldn't worry about it. It's one guy. I feel it's

994
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:55,239
Speaker 2: one situation where it's like the dramas. I don't think

995
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 2: he's going to be like, oh wow, my my boss

996
00:43:57,719 --> 00:43:59,959
Speaker 2: or my coworker, whoever you are is so drama.

997
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 6: It's like what I'm worried about is the sister is

998
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 6: going to paint this family and ope as this is

999
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:10,280
Speaker 6: who they are. They are, they're scummy, They're they're so weird.

1000
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 6: I feel like in the moment, the dude's like whatever.

1001
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,919
Speaker 2: So her response was as follows, thank you for taking

1002
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 2: care of Scruffy while I was away. I did not

1003
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 2: agree with y'all asking me to pick up Scruffy last night,

1004
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 2: knowing that my flight was arriving at midnight. I felt

1005
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 2: like Scruffy wasn't wanted there for just a few more

1006
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 2: hours for me to pick him up in the morning.

1007
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: Y'all didn't think or care about my safety and how

1008
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 2: tired I must be from traveling and working on the

1009
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 2: house before leaving. Again, I wasn't surprised with your selfish

1010
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,839
Speaker 2: and inconsiderate requests as always, dude, you're so caught off.

1011
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 2: I even paid y'all to take care of him and

1012
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 2: provided all his necessary items for his stay. Yeah, you

1013
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 2: pay people who take care of your pets. What are

1014
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 2: we talking about? My friend was caring enough to pick

1015
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 2: me up from the airport so late, who lives further

1016
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 2: than y'all, and even take me to pick up scruffy. Also,

1017
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 2: Scruffy has nothing to do with a friend dying or

1018
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:00,800
Speaker 2: whatever situation's going on at your house by why, yeah, exactly, Bye, goodbye,

1019
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 2: you're cut off, goodbye, good.

1020
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,279
Speaker 6: Luck trying to have someone take care of Scruffy next time.

1021
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 2: And it's like why, I just don't get the whole, Like, Okay,

1022
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 2: i'll pick them up early tomorrow, I'll pick them at

1023
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 2: six am, And then you just ignore that and come

1024
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 2: at one and then act like you're not the problem.

1025
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:15,880
Speaker 2: It's astounding to me.

1026
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 6: I hate people like this. They're so self dondered, narcissistic, Justine.

1027
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it escalated and I called her a mean

1028
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 2: and horrible person. That for her to carelessly bring up

1029
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 2: my friend passing that way shows how selfish and mean

1030
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 2: she is. Yes, and that is the end of that story.

1031
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 2: And I hope that the next sentence that was going

1032
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 2: to come out of op was and that was the

1033
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 2: last time I ever spoke or saw that person.

1034
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 6: Yet again, I really hope you cut off no contact

1035
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 6: with her. I hope your husband agrees, because this is

1036
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 6: that is really stupid.

1037
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,759
Speaker 2: Dude, do not ask me or mine for nothing. Ye,

1038
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 2: it's over. We're dying.

1039
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 6: Good luck with scruffy. You and I we're done professionally,

1040
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 6: but you and us we're not done. We're not done

1041
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 6: at the story coming up right now, that's right when

1042
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 6: my sister in law through a tantrum on my wedding

1043
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 6: day because I said I was exhausted, how damn you?

1044
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 6: So this may be long, and I apologize in advance.

1045
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 6: I want to make a few notes here to try

1046
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 6: and cut down how long it is. And I am

1047
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 6: really not the best storyteller. I'm from the UK and

1048
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:19,360
Speaker 6: my husband is from the US. We got married in

1049
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 6: the US without any of my family attending. By the way,

1050
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 6: this comes from deleted and you could submit your stories

1051
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,800
Speaker 6: on the art slide. Okay, story time suppurate. It was

1052
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 6: at my sister in law's house for her request, as

1053
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,320
Speaker 6: we did plan to have it at mother in law's

1054
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 6: house as her garden is giant, but sistern law said,

1055
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:37,919
Speaker 6: if that doesn't work out, you can always have it here.

1056
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,399
Speaker 6: We paid for everything, but the only thing we didn't

1057
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 6: pay for it was the art that my father in

1058
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 6: law made and the flowers that my mother in law

1059
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 6: did for us. I have severe social and anxiety, and

1060
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 6: being around large groups of people is difficult for me,

1061
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 6: especially ones I do not know. All his family knew this,

1062
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 6: as my husband had told them prior to my arrival.

1063
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 6: I had never physically met my husband's family before I

1064
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 6: flew over to get married, other than on several video calls.

1065
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 2: And all seem fine to me.

1066
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 6: I kept in contact with sister in law and mother

1067
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 6: in law throughout the whole planning process. Sister in law

1068
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 6: was my maid of honor, which I didn't require anything

1069
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 6: from her at all to do. I wanted to declude

1070
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 6: all my husband's close family because I knew how much

1071
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 6: he loved them, so much husband's Nie Scott, ordained to

1072
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 6: marry us. Sister in law is fifty or fifty something

1073
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:25,320
Speaker 6: years old. It's a very, very long story. I'm sorry

1074
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,200
Speaker 6: I needed to add everything in case I missed out

1075
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 6: any context here. Now on to the story. As I said,

1076
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 6: I'm from the UK. I have never traveled outside of

1077
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 6: the UK other than the one France trip for a

1078
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,720
Speaker 6: weekend as a teenager. To note here, the time difference

1079
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 6: from me to Florida is five hours, so as you

1080
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 6: can guess, adjusting to the time over there was exhausting

1081
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 6: for me and my five year old little boy. I

1082
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 6: flew to the US one week before a wedding to

1083
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 6: help with the setup and decorations and to discuss everything

1084
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 6: that would happen, also to bond with my in laws

1085
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:55,240
Speaker 6: to be well.

1086
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:56,400
Speaker 2: That didn't happen.

1087
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 6: Safe to say, the whole two weeks I was there

1088
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 6: were practically a crapshow. For the most part, we visited

1089
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 6: with his parents for a couple of days. It was

1090
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:05,880
Speaker 6: all great and stuff. We had all talked about visiting

1091
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 6: his sister too. That didn't happen. On Wednesday. We arrived

1092
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 6: on a Sunday. His mom threw us a surprise engagement party.

1093
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,800
Speaker 6: Kind of the sentiment was there, and I admit it's adorable,

1094
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 6: but none of the guests knew it was a surprise

1095
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 6: engagement party. I also felt stuck at that point, surrounded

1096
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 6: by many people I didn't know, getting used to a

1097
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 6: new country, and my anxiety was flipping out. Though I

1098
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:27,840
Speaker 6: spent a lot of time going in and out of

1099
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,240
Speaker 6: the house to get some fresh air because I felt

1100
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 6: like I couldn't breathe inside and I didn't know what

1101
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 6: to do with myself.

1102
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 2: Mother in law looked so.

1103
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 6: Unhappy the entire time, and I mean the entire time.

1104
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:42,359
Speaker 6: She barely spoke to anyone and looked sad. They all

1105
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 6: expected us to be out at each other's houses till

1106
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 6: nine to ten, maybe even eleven PM at night, me,

1107
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 6: my husband, and my five year old son. In UK time,

1108
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:54,879
Speaker 6: that's two to four am. I got exhausted at nine

1109
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 6: pm every single day and was ready to settle down

1110
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 6: for the night. My son's bedtime at seven pm every

1111
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 6: and he also has extra needs and doesn't do great

1112
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 6: on lack of sleep. When he's waking up at five

1113
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:06,879
Speaker 6: to six am.

1114
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 2: In the morning.

1115
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 6: My husband and I are usually in bed for eleven

1116
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 6: pm and asleep before midnight. So I went out of

1117
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,360
Speaker 6: my way to keep my son up till nine pm,

1118
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 6: three nights in a row, which normally I would never do,

1119
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 6: but special occasions and all Wedding day comes and they

1120
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,399
Speaker 6: want us arriving at ten am. The wedding was at

1121
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 6: four thirty pm. Very minimalistic, nothing much to do. Took

1122
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 6: over an hour, around hour and a half to get

1123
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,439
Speaker 6: all set up with all of us there. On our way,

1124
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 6: we picked up the cupcakes. We didn't want a wedding cake.

1125
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 6: Neither of us are big fan of cake, so we

1126
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 6: had cupcakes for our wedding cake.

1127
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 2: We got there, started setting.

1128
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:44,479
Speaker 6: Things up, and my husband had to go here, there,

1129
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 6: and everywhere in the car for food and whatever else

1130
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 6: they asked for last minute. He was gone from ten

1131
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 6: am till around three pm. I didn't see him all

1132
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 6: day until I saw him at the arch to get married.

1133
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:56,880
Speaker 6: That's usually what you're supposed to do on weddings.

1134
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's usually. That's maybe that's most in a mayor or.

1135
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 2: I feel like is that a universal thing?

1136
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 6: I don't know. Let us know the comments because we

1137
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 6: have not gotten married, but from the marriages and weddings

1138
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 6: I've been to, you don't usually see.

1139
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's supposed to be.

1140
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 4: Like, oh my god, I can't believe how good you're looking.

1141
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 6: And then the husband cries or the groom cries, these

1142
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 6: is beautiful, pries.

1143
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 4: You're so beautiful.

1144
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 2: It's like looking at the face of God. All went well.

1145
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 6: I was all over the place, helping set up and whatnot.

1146
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,839
Speaker 6: Nothing bad, just getting exhausted. Socially, especially sister in law

1147
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 6: was amazing this entire time. She let me use her shower,

1148
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 6: and my husband's niece did my hair, and it was

1149
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:36,640
Speaker 6: all great. They all helped me get ready. We did

1150
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 6: the marriage thing and started the reception. I couldn't connected

1151
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 6: to the speaker to put the playlist on that I

1152
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 6: had chosen for our wedding, so I sent it to

1153
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,240
Speaker 6: his niece, to which then she decided if she didn't

1154
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 6: like the song, she'd skip it. Which if music is

1155
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 6: your thing and holds your vibe, then you know that

1156
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 6: this isn't flying very well with my vibe. But I

1157
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 6: continue on, it's not my house. Who am I to argue?

1158
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 6: Then everyone watches football. I try to get engaged. I

1159
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:00,800
Speaker 6: know nothing about American football. I couldn't I guess a

1160
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,800
Speaker 6: nine pm and all the guests who were invited have left.

1161
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 6: The only people who are left are my husband's family.

1162
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 6: I am exhausted socially and physically. My son is exhausted

1163
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 6: socially and physically as well, and so is my husband.

1164
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 6: This is when everything went so very wrong. I get

1165
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 6: changed out of my wedding dress and into the dress

1166
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 6: I wore prior to my wedding. That day, we were

1167
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 6: trying to tidy up they get ready to go home,

1168
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 6: asking sister in law where she wants us to put

1169
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 6: the food and cleaning up our mess before ordering an uber.

1170
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 6: But no one was listening and no one cared what

1171
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:32,360
Speaker 6: we were asking, saying, I got all my stuff together,

1172
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 6: and when I did, that's when she cared and started

1173
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 6: to listen. She shouts to me across the room, are

1174
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:42,240
Speaker 6: you leaving? I say, yeah, we're exhausted. She then screams

1175
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:46,800
Speaker 6: at me in pure disbelief, are you seriously leaving right now?

1176
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 2: Mind you?

1177
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 6: We've all had a few drinks at this point, so

1178
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 6: I reply with yeah, yeah, we're heading out.

1179
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 2: I'm exhausted, husband is exhausted. We just want to go

1180
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:56,320
Speaker 2: to bed.

1181
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 6: It's two am for us in the UK. She looked

1182
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 6: like I just walked over there and slapped her so

1183
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 6: hard across the face. That's the shock she had on

1184
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,919
Speaker 6: her face. She then said, oh, get over it. You've

1185
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,920
Speaker 6: been here for a week now, me talking normally and

1186
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 6: not shouting while she raised her voice and me the

1187
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,359
Speaker 6: whole time. My husband was a little busy playing with

1188
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,319
Speaker 6: my son and his younger cousin to even notice. However,

1189
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,800
Speaker 6: everyone else noticed bearing mine. At this point, two family

1190
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 6: members were already called up on the couch with blankets,

1191
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 6: watching TV, with one falling asleep. She then proceeds to

1192
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 6: do the thing you do when you're mad about something

1193
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:34,439
Speaker 6: and the place is messy, which is angry clean, until

1194
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 6: she gives up angry cleaning and storms into her room crying.

1195
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 6: Everyone goes in to console her, but by this point

1196
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 6: the uber had been requested and was two minutes away,

1197
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 6: so I sent my husband to go and console her too.

1198
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 6: After being screamed up at the way I was, I'm

1199
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 6: not gonna lie. I was done being there. I didn't

1200
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 6: even want to consider staying. After being spoken to the

1201
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 6: way I was spoken to, I walked into her room

1202
00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 6: to let my husband know that uber was here and

1203
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 6: we had to go. In a cry screaming voice. She

1204
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 6: then told me the uber can just leave. Yeah like that,

1205
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 6: I said, why are you crying? I was still there

1206
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 6: for one more week. We had the whole week to

1207
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:18,280
Speaker 6: hang out, to which she replied.

1208
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 2: I'm busy all week.

1209
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:20,959
Speaker 4: I don't have any time.

1210
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 6: This meant with you now to make a point here,

1211
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 6: she knew I was there for two weeks and has

1212
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 6: known that since January. We got married in December. She

1213
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:34,280
Speaker 6: wasn't crying because I was leaving. She was crying because

1214
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,840
Speaker 6: she knows her brother is moving over to the UK

1215
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 6: to be with me. But both her and mother in

1216
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 6: law were acting like it was happening then and there,

1217
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 6: like after we got married, they never see him again.

1218
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 6: It's now June. He still isn't living here, and they

1219
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,799
Speaker 6: all knew he wasn't moving over right then. But she

1220
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 6: really screamed and tantrum because we left at nine pm

1221
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 6: on our wedding day.

1222
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,400
Speaker 2: Again, we're exhausted. Wait, I just get over yourself. Well

1223
00:53:59,440 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 2: who are you?

1224
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 6: I understand the work she's put into this with being

1225
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 6: her home and she offered for us to use it

1226
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 6: and whatnot. Her husband then refused to give us our

1227
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,920
Speaker 6: wedding video unless I apologize to her as I could

1228
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 6: have chosen to stay longer to make her feel better.

1229
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 2: If all that being.

1230
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 6: True, I could, But who wants to stay around someone

1231
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:21,799
Speaker 6: screaming at you and throwing a tantrum prying because you're

1232
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 6: leaving your own wedding? What kind of vibe is that

1233
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:27,319
Speaker 6: to be around, especially as exhausted as I was. By

1234
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 6: the way, we have an exhaustive library full of episodes

1235
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:34,280
Speaker 6: with stories just like this. Just go on Spotify, Apple

1236
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 6: podcast or any other platform that you listen to podcasts

1237
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 6: and search. Okay, story time, but let's find out what

1238
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 6: happens to the rest of the story. I understand that

1239
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 6: we could have pulled her aside and let her know,

1240
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 6: and we didn't, and that's our bad. But even pull

1241
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,319
Speaker 6: us aside and talk about it, either because more than

1242
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 6: likely I would have stayed, or if she'd had a

1243
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 6: conversation with us about how she was busy, or she'd

1244
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:57,320
Speaker 6: prefer if we stayed a little bit longer. I still

1245
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 6: don't have my wedding video. I did apologize for how

1246
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 6: things went down, and if I made anyone uncomfortable, I

1247
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 6: didn't keep the photos from anyone, even though I could have.

1248
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:07,360
Speaker 6: I do very much regret my wedding day. I was

1249
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 6: very broken afterwards, and my husband still hasn't recovered and

1250
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 6: despises that his sister would do something like that to him,

1251
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 6: especially on his wedding day. He was very angry and

1252
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 6: very upset about it. I did enjoy universal in hogsmeat

1253
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 6: and Gator lamb though ps feel free to skip any

1254
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 6: unnecessary info. I feel bad for Op because your wedding

1255
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:26,400
Speaker 6: day is supposed to be special and you're supposed to

1256
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 6: cherish it, and I feel like that's the cherry on

1257
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:29,760
Speaker 6: top that you can't cherish.

1258
00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, we had our wedding. How was your wedding? Love? So,

1259
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 2: we had the wedding. It was great.

1260
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 6: Then they watched American football for like seven hours. And

1261
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 6: then the sister, my sister in law now is crying

1262
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:41,800
Speaker 6: because I'm leaving because I'm tired.

1263
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 2: She did the angry clean. I can hear it in

1264
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:46,280
Speaker 2: my head right now. I can hear all the glasses

1265
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:47,920
Speaker 2: being set down too hard.

1266
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:49,640
Speaker 6: Like it's like like throwing it in there, like be

1267
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 6: careful and like.

1268
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 2: Ha, and then she just goes way. My brather and

1269
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 2: it's like, just be happy? Can you just be happy

1270
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,320
Speaker 2: for people on the day that's supposed to be theirs.

1271
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:02,800
Speaker 6: That's the end of the story, guys.

1272
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 2: Hey's John og host.

1273
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

1274
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 1: three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

1275
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 2: My mother in law skipped our wedding day and then

1276
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 2: blamed us for ruining her special day. How dare you skip?

1277
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:18,399
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1278
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 2: Oh, that was that your wedding? Mother in law? Your

1279
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 2: was that your special day? Skip? Originally posted in our

1280
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 2: just no mother in law. I posted there about another

1281
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,839
Speaker 2: time she wished autism on our son and that.

1282
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 6: Post gotta skip that too?

1283
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:37,320
Speaker 2: What the hell? Yeah? Okay, that post got pretty popular.

1284
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 2: I ramble a bit and can be all over the place.

1285
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:43,720
Speaker 2: Sorry cast mother in law Karen, sister in law, crazy

1286
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:46,320
Speaker 2: sister in law, sister in law too, my other younger

1287
00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 2: sister in law Hobby is my husband. Stepmom is stepmom,

1288
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 2: stepfather is stepfather. By the way, this comes from user

1289
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:58,800
Speaker 2: selenophilick sapphik and if you want to submit your story,

1290
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 2: go ahead and do it. The r slash okay, story

1291
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 2: time subberd so bit of background. This happened pre pandemic

1292
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 2: around August of twenty nineteen. I twenty two female, was

1293
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,799
Speaker 2: nine months pregnant with our son at the time of

1294
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,320
Speaker 2: our wedding. My mother in law is literally a Karen,

1295
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 2: that's her real name, and she lives up to it.

1296
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 2: On top of that, my sister in law nineteen female,

1297
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:22,919
Speaker 2: has taken after her mother unfortunately, and is the same

1298
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 2: level of crazy. My husband, twenty five male, doesn't get

1299
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 2: along with them either, and they always end up arguing

1300
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 2: and yelling at each other. Yes, I've asked him why

1301
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 2: he hasn't just cut them off before. At this point,

1302
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 2: they have no happy times together. Ever, it's just incoherent

1303
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 2: screaming and crying ninety five percent of the time. He

1304
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 2: says he hasn't cut them off yet because of his

1305
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 2: other sister, sister in law two, who is ten female.

1306
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 2: He loves his other sister, but recently she's turning more

1307
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 2: and more like her mother as well and pushing hubby away.

1308
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 2: Mother in law has even coached her to make nasty

1309
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:58,439
Speaker 2: remarks about husband's dad to him, who she didn't even

1310
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 2: know because they don't have the same father. Now the story,

1311
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 2: Sorry for the long background info. I'm American and living

1312
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 2: in the UK and needed a spouse visa to be

1313
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:10,000
Speaker 2: able to stay with husband. So we were hastily planning

1314
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 2: a wedding before our son was born and I was

1315
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 2: about to be sent back to America due to my

1316
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 2: student visa expiring. I needed my new visa asap, so

1317
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 2: it was a little city hall wedding with two guests

1318
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 2: allowed since none of my family live in the UK.

1319
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 2: Hubby invited his two parents. Of course, mother in law

1320
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 2: and father in law. Fine by me. His dad is

1321
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 2: cool and I could handle dealing with mother in law

1322
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:32,360
Speaker 2: for twenty minutes. When Hubby told his mother that he

1323
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 2: was inviting her and his dad to the wedding, she

1324
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,920
Speaker 2: flipped her crap. She started screaming at Hubby, saying things

1325
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:40,960
Speaker 2: like I am not standing next to that awful man

1326
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:44,000
Speaker 2: he threatened my life who I don't want to be

1327
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 2: anywhere near him for any amount of time. I don't

1328
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 2: feel safe near him. Note that father in law is

1329
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 2: one of the nicest people I've ever met, and it's

1330
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,439
Speaker 2: actually mother in law who has not only threatened father

1331
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 2: in law's life and nearly ran him over in her car,

1332
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 2: She's also thrown sharp objects at him and fisled abused him.

1333
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,360
Speaker 6: Oh, so she's psychotic, so he's psychotics's psycho.

1334
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 2: It seems like maybe it's not her who needs to

1335
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 2: be scared, but rather him. They divorced many many years

1336
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 2: ago when husband was still a kid. She cheated on him.

1337
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 2: They're both remarried now and have nothing to do with

1338
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:19,919
Speaker 2: each other, though. When Hubby brought this up with father

1339
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,000
Speaker 2: in law, he said he would have been fine just

1340
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 2: standing next to mother in law for a twenty minute ceremony.

1341
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 2: They wouldn't have even had to speak to each other.

1342
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 2: Husband came back to mother in law and told her, well,

1343
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 2: that's who I wanted our wedding. If you can't stand

1344
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 2: there and be civil for fifteen or twenty minutes, then

1345
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:36,560
Speaker 2: just don't come. I'll invite stepmom instead. This led to

1346
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 2: mother in law sobby again. Hobby just didn't care and

1347
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 2: walked out. She then turned to me and asked how

1348
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,800
Speaker 2: could he ask her to stand next to such a

1349
00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:47,840
Speaker 2: god awful man for any amount of time and asked

1350
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 2: if I could talk Hubby into disinviting his father in

1351
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 2: favor of inviting her and stepfather instead. I said no,

1352
00:59:57,000 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 2: they're his parents and he can invite whoever he wants.

1353
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:02,920
Speaker 2: Hubby works in the army and was away most of

1354
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:05,320
Speaker 2: the week as his camp was two hours away from

1355
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 2: where we were living at the time, which was unfortunately

1356
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 2: mother in law's house as we were in between houses

1357
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 2: at the time. While he was away. A few days

1358
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 2: before our wedding, mother in law cornered me in our bedroom.

1359
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 2: She threw a full blown tantrum about how I was

1360
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 2: taking away her right to see her firstborn son get

1361
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 2: married and that this is all my fault. Me being

1362
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 2: an overly emotional and hormonal pregnant woman. Sobbed back at

1363
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:32,720
Speaker 2: her that we never invited her and that she was

1364
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 2: still welcome to come. She snapped back, well, you essentially

1365
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:39,520
Speaker 2: uninvited me when you decided to invite Hubby's dad.

1366
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:40,920
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

1367
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:45,000
Speaker 2: It's like, no, we didn't, and that's you uninviting yourself

1368
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 2: because you've decided to let someone else's existence dictate what

1369
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 2: you can do. I said to her that father in

1370
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:55,920
Speaker 2: law has every right to be there as much as

1371
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 2: she does, and once again that it was Hubby's parents,

1372
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 2: so it was his choice. I didn't say it, but

1373
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 2: according to Hubby, all the bad things and the abuse

1374
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 2: that happened was on her end, not father in law's.

1375
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 2: I reminded her that she actually has the chance to go,

1376
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:14,400
Speaker 2: while my dad doesn't have the opportunity at all to

1377
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:16,919
Speaker 2: see his firstborn get married. He didn't have the money

1378
01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:19,200
Speaker 2: to fly over from America. He would never get to

1379
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 2: walk me down the aisle, he would never get to

1380
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 2: give me away. He couldn't even watch. That didn't stop her.

1381
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 2: I just let her rage at me for another ten

1382
01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 2: minutes while I zoned out. At that point, before she

1383
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 2: stormed out, Hobby wasn't happy when I told him what happened.

1384
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 2: Skip forward to our wedding day. Mother in law has

1385
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 2: decided to take a thing of vacation and is long

1386
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:41,360
Speaker 2: gone now screaming at Hubby that how dare we have

1387
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,040
Speaker 2: our wedding when she can't attend?

1388
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 6: What she's actually psychotic? Ooh what she's psycho She's unhinged,

1389
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 6: she's not living in reality.

1390
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 2: So this has set sister in law off, who is

1391
01:01:54,080 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 2: still at the house and she's in a bad mood,

1392
01:01:56,080 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 2: saying how could we do that to her poor mother.

1393
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:01,600
Speaker 2: Hubby ended up having to bar h stepfather shoes with

1394
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:04,280
Speaker 2: his consent for the wedding. But when sister in law

1395
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 2: saw Hobby walking out with stepfather shoes, she exploded the

1396
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,160
Speaker 2: same way mother in law does and shouted at him

1397
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:12,680
Speaker 2: about what a degenerate he is and he can't just

1398
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 2: steal shoes from his stepdad when they aren't home. This

1399
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 2: led to a big argument with her and husband on

1400
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 2: our wedding day. Mind you, we left the house with

1401
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 2: Hubby pissed off. The nerve of sister in law discream

1402
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 2: at him on his wedding day over something not only trivial,

1403
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:27,880
Speaker 2: but something he had permission to do is something I've

1404
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 2: never gotten over. She never even apologized. The ceremony was

1405
01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:34,040
Speaker 2: short and sweet, but still the happiest day of my life.

1406
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:37,360
Speaker 2: Father in law and stepmother attended and then took us

1407
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 2: out for a fancy lunch. Then we parted ways so

1408
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 2: Hubby and I could enjoy the day together. Hubby and

1409
01:02:42,720 --> 01:02:45,440
Speaker 2: I went and got dessert at a nice gelato shop

1410
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:47,800
Speaker 2: and it was going well. While we were there, we

1411
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 2: updated our social media status to marriad Ooh now it's official.

1412
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:58,200
Speaker 2: This was not a good idea, apparently, because while we

1413
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:01,440
Speaker 2: were sitting there enjoying gelatto, so Hubby's phone rang and

1414
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 2: it's none other than mother in law. Bobby picked up,

1415
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:06,520
Speaker 2: thinking it was going to be her congratulating us, but

1416
01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 2: I knew better immediately she began screaming at us again,

1417
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:13,000
Speaker 2: which drew the attention of others in the shop, saying

1418
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 2: how could we do this to her yet again on

1419
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:19,320
Speaker 2: her special day, knowing full well she couldn't even be

1420
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:22,720
Speaker 2: there with us. Confused, Hubby asks what we've done this

1421
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 2: time to set her off? Quote, it was my right

1422
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,000
Speaker 2: to tell the family my son's married, and you took

1423
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:30,400
Speaker 2: that away from me too. I had to hear from

1424
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 2: my sister that you had already updated your Facebook status.

1425
01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:36,439
Speaker 2: And now the surprise is Roland I already couldn't come

1426
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:40,280
Speaker 2: because she, referring to me, didn't invite us. Hobby just

1427
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 2: hung up. She is fake, a f She tries to

1428
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,520
Speaker 2: act nice, but I can still see the resentment she

1429
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:49,160
Speaker 2: has for me because apparently it was my fault. She

1430
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 2: couldn't stand next to the man she cheated on for

1431
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 2: less than twenty minutes for her son's sake. I just

1432
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 2: want to cut her off, but Hubby keeps saying yes

1433
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 2: when she asks to come over. I ask him why,

1434
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 2: and he just said, I don't know. Why I keep

1435
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 2: letting her in. It's because it's your mom. Dude, that's easy.

1436
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:04,880
Speaker 2: It's your mom.

1437
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:06,760
Speaker 6: It's hard just block them. I'm at this point of

1438
01:04:07,480 --> 01:04:09,320
Speaker 6: at least the mom, so now.

1439
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:12,080
Speaker 2: She's coming over this weekend, and quite honestly, I might

1440
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:14,400
Speaker 2: snap at her for the comments she made about our son.

1441
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:17,680
Speaker 2: No happy ending. She's still in our lives because husband

1442
01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:20,160
Speaker 2: can't cut her off for some reason. Maybe it's just

1443
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:23,120
Speaker 2: because she's his mom, despite the fact that all they

1444
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,760
Speaker 2: do is fight and leave him pissed the rest of

1445
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,400
Speaker 2: the day. But you know what you can do for

1446
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 2: the rest of the day, as you can listen to

1447
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 2: full episodes with stories like this. All you have to

1448
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 2: do is go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever

1449
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 2: you get your podcasts from and search Okay story Time

1450
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:41,960
Speaker 2: and there you will find limitless podcasts for you to

1451
01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 2: listen to. Anyway, the story is almost complete. We've kind

1452
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:48,640
Speaker 2: of made our piece here about what we think about

1453
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 2: the monning.

1454
01:04:49,240 --> 01:04:52,680
Speaker 6: I know, but the fact that husband's still okay with

1455
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:56,480
Speaker 6: contacting his mom as op I'd have a conversation. Maybe

1456
01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 6: I don't know if what said is low contact, but

1457
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:00,360
Speaker 6: I'd like she's calling again, don't forget it like I

1458
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 6: would go, Oh, she's calling, don't pick it up. Please,

1459
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:04,880
Speaker 6: don't pick it up, Please don't. Oh hello, don't What

1460
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 6: did she say? She said stupid stuff. I don't know.

1461
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:08,720
Speaker 2: I think at the very least, you need to, like

1462
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 2: if you are still going to maintain contact, like you

1463
01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 2: can't entertain the lies, you can't entertain the right. I

1464
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:17,440
Speaker 2: think if it's to be like, hey, i'm she starts

1465
01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 2: blowing up at you and starts yelling curse, and it's like,

1466
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:21,240
Speaker 2: I'm hanging up and you can call me back when

1467
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:23,560
Speaker 2: you calm down. I expect there to be fighting when

1468
01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:26,120
Speaker 2: she comes over, to be honest, but I've made it

1469
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:28,479
Speaker 2: clear I am not going with him when he goes

1470
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:31,080
Speaker 2: to visit her, and neither is our son. He can

1471
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:33,880
Speaker 2: go alone. She undermines our parenting, and our son always

1472
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:36,439
Speaker 2: comes home ill after being over there. I would never

1473
01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:38,920
Speaker 2: force hubby to cut her off. I don't know how

1474
01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:41,840
Speaker 2: a mother child bond feels, as I didn't have him. Hum,

1475
01:05:41,920 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine how he feels. Thank you, if

1476
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:46,280
Speaker 2: you made it this far, I'd love to hear y'all's

1477
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,600
Speaker 2: mother in law. Wedding horror stories and hopefully yours has

1478
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:52,360
Speaker 2: a happier ending than mine. Much love, guys. Update, Wales

1479
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:55,720
Speaker 2: is going back into lockdown where husband family lives. So

1480
01:05:55,760 --> 01:05:57,880
Speaker 2: now mother in law can't come over. Who I guess

1481
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 2: that's a pandemic era story, the land before time. Well,

1482
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:05,160
Speaker 2: you know, at least somebody was enjoying Lockdown. Thank god

1483
01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:06,400
Speaker 2: I don't have to see my mother in law.

1484
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1485
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:09,320
Speaker 6: I just hope everything gets better. But that is the

1486
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:11,160
Speaker 6: end of that story and the.

1487
01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:14,439
Speaker 2: End of this episode. If you love us, make sure

1488
01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:18,200
Speaker 2: you subscribe. We love you and see you.

1489
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:18,920
Speaker 5: Borrow