Speaker 1: I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born
Speaker 1: and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and
Speaker 1: I'm a body positive advocate. I'm Carolina Bermudez, but i
Speaker 1: was born and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama,
Speaker 1: and a worker being. This is life in English, Carolina.
Speaker 1: I am so happy to see your face right now,
Speaker 1: because I'm having a crazy day today. I feel like
Speaker 1: everyone is trying me, trying me in a way that
Speaker 1: I feel like, oh my gosh, no, baby, no, you
Speaker 1: can't let it happen. The devil is alive. Man. You
Speaker 1: gotta just resist. It doesn't happen to me often because
Speaker 1: I want my mom. No. I'm glad I'm here. I'm
Speaker 1: glad I'm here to talk you through this because this
Speaker 1: is something that happens to all of us, and it's
Speaker 1: you know, it's a term that as Latinos we grew
Speaker 1: up with. My mother used to say that, like, it's
Speaker 1: just like something that happens that takes over your being.
Speaker 1: You don't it's like an outer body experience. You no
Speaker 1: longer know who you are, and you're not responsible for
Speaker 1: your actions at that moment. You know what this is
Speaker 1: an interesting topic, and I really feel like as I've
Speaker 1: gotten older, as I've matured, I've definitely gotten better. But
Speaker 1: when I was younger, definitely Semo and I would say
Speaker 1: with boyfriend's situations, you know, not necessarily with girlfriends, like
Speaker 1: with my like my best friends and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: I've never really been that type of girl. I have
Speaker 1: girls that are pit pulls, Like I have friends that
Speaker 1: will like literally destroy anyone you like, don't want to
Speaker 1: go to the club with them when you were younger
Speaker 1: because they would always end up in my friend christ Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was never that girl, but definitely when I found
Speaker 1: out that one long term boyfriend cheated on me and
Speaker 1: I got in my car and you, guys, I swear
Speaker 1: to you, I don't know what happened. It was like
Speaker 1: I felt like I want to run this motherfucker over.
Speaker 1: But then I thought about my life and I was like,
Speaker 1: I have a beautiful life, Like why would I do
Speaker 1: this for this guy? You know what I mean. I'm
Speaker 1: part of my language. But yeah, it's like one of
Speaker 1: those things where it gets a hold on you and
Speaker 1: you just can't even see straight. It's it's nuts. It's
Speaker 1: crazy that you mentioned ex boyfriends, because I feel like
Speaker 1: the one time that I acted most out of character
Speaker 1: was with an ex boyfriend. We barely broke up, right,
Speaker 1: I go to Jimmy's Bronx Cafe and he's there with somebody.
Speaker 1: I go to talk to him, and the girl's like,
Speaker 1: that's my boyfriend. Your boyfriend. We just broke up three
Speaker 1: days and girls and acue me, I'm sorry you. I
Speaker 1: first fought him and her at the club. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know to make it. And I went over the
Speaker 1: throgs Neck and right to his house in Queens and
Speaker 1: I had a club and I remember the club. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I had a club in my car. Girl,
Speaker 1: I went hand with the club. His poor mom, Columbiana,
Speaker 1: God bless her soul. She was like no, And I
Speaker 1: couldn't stop myself. Carolina, that was a whole night that
Speaker 1: I spent. But you know what, because like you could
Speaker 1: have legit gotten arrested. Oh no, I could have, Carolina.
Speaker 1: But it's just like, imagine you break up with somebody
Speaker 1: in three days later, somebody's like, don't talk to him,
Speaker 1: that's my man. That means the cheating was happening for
Speaker 1: a very long time. And I just couldn't listen. I'm Latina,
Speaker 1: I'm Dominican, I'm from New York. I'm a Capricorn girl.
Speaker 1: It was a perfect storm for that to go down. Well, see,
Speaker 1: here's the thing, you know, I feel like this kind
Speaker 1: of reared its ugly head and I hate to even
Speaker 1: revisit it because I feel like everybody's over now. It
Speaker 1: happened so long ago. But like the whole Will Smith
Speaker 1: Oscars situation, I feel like it's a perfect example of
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and like, here's the thing,
Speaker 1: my mom, Will Smith. I'm like, mom, yes, of course
Speaker 1: I saw what happened with Will Smith because I work
Speaker 1: in entertainment. Like, yes, my mom, I'm like no, you
Speaker 1: know right, Like you're almost like, come on, this is
Speaker 1: like low hanging fruit. But that is a situation where
Speaker 1: it is so out of character for someone, especially a
Speaker 1: beloved person like Will Smith, because you look at his career,
Speaker 1: always a good guy, smiling, jovial. But it happens, you know,
Speaker 1: And that's the reason why even Denzel Washington after that
Speaker 1: situation happened, and that night, I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people talked about Denzel Washington and Tyler Perry coming to
Speaker 1: console him, and pray with him backstage, because like I'm saying,
Speaker 1: prayer is the answer, and no, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: we gotta work harder because he's out in these streets.
Speaker 1: But even Denzel said the devil approached him. And that's
Speaker 1: why when when he said when Denzel said that, it
Speaker 1: really just triggered something for me because we make fun
Speaker 1: of my mom all the time, you know, like my
Speaker 1: mom will always have these sayings and you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, like and if your family is Catholic, you
Speaker 1: know exactly what I'm saying. Like my mom's like, you know,
Speaker 1: like all of these little superstitious things and stuff. So
Speaker 1: when my mom made that statement, I'm like, here she
Speaker 1: goes again. But then it's like then you have Denzel
Speaker 1: confirming it, and you're like, you know what, They're actually right.
Speaker 1: There are those moments where anyone it can happen to you,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, You just get into this
Speaker 1: mode where you cannot be stopped. And I pray that
Speaker 1: I never get to that point because I do look
Speaker 1: back and I'm like, man, there were so many times
Speaker 1: when that could have happened to me. But how do
Speaker 1: you keep a level head when you're in that moment
Speaker 1: of rage. How did you keep a let? You didn't
Speaker 1: keep a level head? You got your club. But you
Speaker 1: know what I was, I was like twenty one years old,
Speaker 1: out partying and drinking. So I don't even think I
Speaker 1: could have kept a level head. But I am disappointed
Speaker 1: in will and I am disappointed in myself. I probably
Speaker 1: could have handled it differently if I had Jesus in
Speaker 1: my life back then like I do now. Well, you
Speaker 1: know what it is. I think that hindsight also, and
Speaker 1: I think, like I said before, to maturity and age
Speaker 1: have a lot to do with it. The only regret
Speaker 1: that I have for you is that nobody got you
Speaker 1: on World Star. We didn't get Honey swinging on the
Speaker 1: guy and the girl. All we had was like me,
Speaker 1: Hank the I think like me, Hankden was around. That
Speaker 1: was about it. And our cell phones didn't even have cameras.
Speaker 1: So it's all good, I'm being I think. But yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it happens, and I've seen it happen to really great people.
Speaker 1: But you know what, Carolina, it also happens when these
Speaker 1: people are pushed too far. I see people that are amazing,
Speaker 1: they are great, They never react, They take everything in
Speaker 1: they ignore everything. They just okay, I'll let it, you know,
Speaker 1: brush it off my shoulder. But then there's a moment
Speaker 1: where and it is over, and then everybody wants to
Speaker 1: act like, oh my god, you saw what happened. No,
Speaker 1: have you seen what you've been doing to that family
Speaker 1: member for twenty years? How did you expect them to
Speaker 1: react the one time that they did decide to react.
Speaker 1: There you have it, And I feel like that's kind
Speaker 1: of like what happened to Will Smith. Yeah. No, I
Speaker 1: definitely think that there are moments where, like I mean,
Speaker 1: you can go to any celebrity, really not any celebrity.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't say that that's a generalization, but I think
Speaker 1: that there are many times where celebrities have been provoked.
Speaker 1: I mean, one of the more famous ones, which is
Speaker 1: just a tragedy, seriously, is Britney Spears. You know, where
Speaker 1: everybody can go back to that moment it when she
Speaker 1: had the umbrella. That to me, it's almost like and
Speaker 1: if you look at those pictures, Diablo, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, And it's like one of those things where
Speaker 1: it's like she just couldn't take it anymore, you know.
Speaker 1: And now I think about Okay, so myself, if you
Speaker 1: want treatment, I'm always ready for that. This this situation
Speaker 1: I think happens in romantic relationships a lot if and
Speaker 1: we're gonna reference back to will Smith, Jada, this and
Speaker 1: that and Nona out whatever, but if you really think
Speaker 1: about it. So, we know someone, okay, we know someone
Speaker 1: on Long Island that was cheating on his wife. The
Speaker 1: wife knew. Okay, he had ramante Okay, like he had
Speaker 1: another woman. The wife found out said I'm going to
Speaker 1: the other woman's house. Okay, I'm gonna confront this bitch. Right,
Speaker 1: goes to the other house to confront. By the way, um,
Speaker 1: this is my cleaning ladies, cheese ma, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: share it with you'all. She goes to the other woman's
Speaker 1: house and says, you need to stay away from my man,
Speaker 1: my family, Nana. No. The guy comes to the house.
Speaker 1: They have life three sixty. He knew where she was.
Speaker 1: He goes to the house and tells her get away
Speaker 1: from my girlfriend because that I love that woman. So
Speaker 1: if you want to tell me that, that's not going
Speaker 1: to bring the devil out in you. That's where I
Speaker 1: feel like, what do you do in a situation like that,
Speaker 1: Like how do you retreat? How do you handle your emotions?
Speaker 1: Like what do you do when you're super piste off,
Speaker 1: honey and you try to handle your emotions. It's either
Speaker 1: internalize it and explode or explode and risk catching a
Speaker 1: charge at that moment, you just got it. Think about
Speaker 1: what you're trying to be and right because or you
Speaker 1: trying to be at the house later on, scrubbing your
Speaker 1: skin down, getting rid of your sending you stop that,
Speaker 1: get out of here. No, but you know what like
Speaker 1: so so this is where I said to I said
Speaker 1: to a cleaning lady and I said, yeah, so you know,
Speaker 1: and she said, it gets even dirtier. They all they
Speaker 1: live in a share house. Okay, they used to live
Speaker 1: in this sharehouse. You know the people along island do
Speaker 1: that they live They used to live in rented rooms exactly.
Speaker 1: So they all lived in this sharehouse together. Then the
Speaker 1: couple moved out of the sharehouse, but he still had
Speaker 1: a little hanky panky, a little something going on with
Speaker 1: the girlfriend back at the sharehouse, so she knew exactly
Speaker 1: where she lived. It was drama for days and I
Speaker 1: was like, it's like a damn novella And That's why
Speaker 1: I kept telling her, you know what I mean, because
Speaker 1: I was like dying to hear what happened. Ends up,
Speaker 1: he left the wife to be with the girlfriend. Now
Speaker 1: it as messy as hell, But that's where I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's like when you have these I think their primarily motion,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Because like you think about love,
Speaker 1: love is a primal emotion. When you feel that that
Speaker 1: that chemistry that see toastin gets released, you're getting that,
Speaker 1: you're getting them good vibes. Right. For rage, it's a
Speaker 1: primal emotion too. You know. When it has to do
Speaker 1: with love, it can turn ugly really really easy for sure,
Speaker 1: for sure. And there are crazy things. That's why they
Speaker 1: say crazy and love. Right. I think there was a
Speaker 1: there was an artist by the name of Beyonce who
Speaker 1: put it in a song, and it's called crazy and
Speaker 1: love Looking so crazy. You got me looking so crazy
Speaker 1: and love, you know what I mean. And that's what
Speaker 1: it will do to you. Love will make you do
Speaker 1: some crazy things. And you know that's why you have
Speaker 1: all these what passion crimes, that's what they're called, where
Speaker 1: women kill their significant other, men kills her their significant
Speaker 1: other at that instance, how mad you have to be
Speaker 1: to actually do something like that, especially if you stablim that.
Speaker 1: So it's so fun me that you bring this up,
Speaker 1: and not funny because of the content, but so crazy
Speaker 1: that you bring this up because I wonder about our
Speaker 1: fixation on all of these crimes. Like, you know, I'll
Speaker 1: sit down and I'll watch a night's worth of Dateline
Speaker 1: or a night's worth of forty eight hours mystery, you know,
Speaker 1: and then they'll be like, oh, they were a beautiful couple.
Speaker 1: They lived in a cold desac in Illinois, you know.
Speaker 1: And then it's like, all of a sudden, I don't
Speaker 1: know where, you know, they end up like killing each other.
Speaker 1: But I remember when I was younger, my mom used
Speaker 1: to watch like mad inappropriate things with me. I remember
Speaker 1: watching like the Burning Bed. Did you ever watch the
Speaker 1: Burning Bed with fair faucet? Nah? Oh that was crazy.
Speaker 1: That's an eighties throwback Listen. My parents used to watch
Speaker 1: this guy his name was I think, and he was
Speaker 1: like this big fat guy and he would have like
Speaker 1: show girls, like topless show girls come through. I'll send you.
Speaker 1: It's all coming back to me, and I remember being
Speaker 1: like a baby and watching like show girls. I think
Speaker 1: their tops were off. I don't remember, but it was
Speaker 1: very inappropriate too. Yeah, but like this was like inappropriate
Speaker 1: in a sense where it's like this woman went crazy
Speaker 1: because this guy was like abusive, he was mentally abusive
Speaker 1: and like all of this other stuff. And then it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you you go into these like dark dark
Speaker 1: spaces where you know you almost wonder, well, like what
Speaker 1: would she have done to get out of that relationship?
Speaker 1: You know? Or like you know, I always think back
Speaker 1: to that. Like I think her name was like Betty Broadrick.
Speaker 1: She was married to a doctor. The doctor was like
Speaker 1: cheating on her with his his nurse or something. I
Speaker 1: forget and I'm probably paraphrasing right now, but anyway, I
Speaker 1: get so excited about this ship because like I think
Speaker 1: she'd gotten her Mercedes and she ran this dude over
Speaker 1: her husband, you know what I mean, Like you got
Speaker 1: a family, You got to think about this, like what
Speaker 1: are you doing? Like that man can go away, let
Speaker 1: him go on his way. You can still have your
Speaker 1: beautiful life, you know. But then it's like me talking
Speaker 1: about it, now, how do you go home? Yeah? But
Speaker 1: like me going talking, I've never been through that, so God,
Speaker 1: thank God, I haven't you know what I mean? So
Speaker 1: that's where it's like, I feel like just this fascination
Speaker 1: with people who go there where you would never expect
Speaker 1: it from them, you know, but picture this, Carolina ding
Speaker 1: Dong talk about e Mark? It's ducky? What you mean
Speaker 1: is Mark here? Oh? It don't matter. The kids that
Speaker 1: they had this they had nobody's wait wait wait wait wait,
Speaker 1: but you know this happened to me, honey, right like
Speaker 1: with an ex boyfriend. I never told you this story.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I'm working at Scottsdale Fashion Square mall. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will not name names. I'm working at guests in
Speaker 1: the mall and this woman comes in with two of
Speaker 1: her friends and she's like are you so are you Carolina?
Speaker 1: And I said yes, yeah, you know what I'm thinking,
Speaker 1: like did I help you before? You know, totally oblivious
Speaker 1: and you know me, like people used to call me Bambi.
Speaker 1: I was like a deer in headlights, Like I was
Speaker 1: very naive to make that commission. Yeah, I was like, wait, so, um,
Speaker 1: I'll get my nine percent right now? That what's up? Like,
Speaker 1: let me help you. So she comes through and she's like,
Speaker 1: are you Carolina? And I said yeah, but like aggressive,
Speaker 1: and I said, um, can I help you? And she's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can stay away from my man. And meanwhile, I
Speaker 1: had been dating this guy for months and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, who who's your man? And she told me
Speaker 1: the guy's name who was my man? She lived in
Speaker 1: a different state, came to Arizona to visit him, found
Speaker 1: out that we had been dating. And this is back
Speaker 1: in like the Nokia days, So I don't know how.
Speaker 1: I used to only play Snake on my phone. I
Speaker 1: don't know how she found out like the little text
Speaker 1: messages like whatever, but yes, confronted me about dating her guy,
Speaker 1: and I'll tell you, my stomach dropped, My hands started sweating,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I have no idea what you're
Speaker 1: talking about. And I almost wanted to like explain to her,
Speaker 1: I'm not the bad one here. Your boyfriend of three
Speaker 1: years that I've been dating for the past six months
Speaker 1: never told me he had a girlfriend, do you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? So it's like, you say, like, what
Speaker 1: would you do? And honestly, I almost pissed my pants
Speaker 1: because I had no idea what was going on. I
Speaker 1: was scared. I was legitimately scared. And then after after
Speaker 1: she left, I got piste because you go through these
Speaker 1: emotions where it's like you really don't know how you'll
Speaker 1: react to someone you know, like you don't know, and
Speaker 1: and we ended it like and I said to her,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry, I have no idea what
Speaker 1: you're talking about. Like you're coming really hard at me
Speaker 1: at my place of work, like you can't do this here.
Speaker 1: Then my manager had to get involved. They had to
Speaker 1: escort or out of the mall. You know. I think
Speaker 1: that after I was shaking, I was crying. He was
Speaker 1: calling my phone NonStop, and I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: you didn't, I said to him. I was like, do
Speaker 1: not talk to me ever again. I don't want to
Speaker 1: have anything to do with you. Go be with your girl,
Speaker 1: like you lied to me, Like you totally lied to me.
Speaker 1: So you know, in those situations, yeah, I think it's
Speaker 1: like you get in that fight or flight mode. You
Speaker 1: don't know what you're gonna do. Some people fight, some
Speaker 1: people they go away. So I guess for me, I
Speaker 1: was trying to explain things. It's like an idiot, you know,
Speaker 1: But if it happens, you know, it's crazy. I think
Speaker 1: about it. If it happened now, Like, how does one react?
Speaker 1: Do you just start breathing? Do you remove yourself? Like?
Speaker 1: How can you avoid the devil taking over your body
Speaker 1: and making you do violent and crazy things that you
Speaker 1: wouldn't do under normal circumstances. Give me some tips, Carolynacusette,
Speaker 1: still be having some anger problems here and there. And
Speaker 1: you know my husband is worth a lot to me
Speaker 1: alive too, Yes he is. Honey. We cannot be talking
Speaker 1: about that life insurance right now. So I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get crazy. No, and we need
Speaker 1: you to calm the crazy, Okay, we need you to
Speaker 1: go from crazy to calm. You cannot be the one
Speaker 1: to act out, Honey. We need you around too, because
Speaker 1: this podcast relies on you. Um. You know what, there's
Speaker 1: something really interesting and it's funny because you know, my
Speaker 1: children are younger, you know, their elementary school age, and
Speaker 1: I do work with them on anger manage, you know,
Speaker 1: because Danny Latino, you know, I mean, they they are fiery,
Speaker 1: they get they get heated, you know, And I always
Speaker 1: say to them, think of your think of yourself as
Speaker 1: a balloon. You've got to find a way to control
Speaker 1: your anger. So think of balloon breathing. When you breathe
Speaker 1: into a balloon, the balloon gets bigger. You fill your
Speaker 1: lungs with air, then you let it out, then you
Speaker 1: fill it up again. Uh. There. There are a number
Speaker 1: of different like breathing exercises that you can do in
Speaker 1: the moment. It's practicing that stuff before you get in
Speaker 1: that moment. So, for example, I always say to them,
Speaker 1: let's do some balloon breathing right now, because, like I know,
Speaker 1: when your brother gets mad at you, you don't go there.
Speaker 1: You don't think I'm gonna start breathing, you know, to
Speaker 1: to give myself that space to think. So you have
Speaker 1: to almost practice it before the occasion in order to
Speaker 1: be able to use it when you're in a situation
Speaker 1: where you might get really upset, you know. I mean, look,
Speaker 1: I think that it's a really difficult thing. It's a
Speaker 1: challenging thing to manage your emotions when you're feeling certain things.
Speaker 1: It's a really hard thing to manage. It really is,
Speaker 1: you know, And I wish I envy those people who
Speaker 1: are calm and who can maintain that sense of calm.
Speaker 1: I don't know how they do it. As I've gotten older,
Speaker 1: you know, it's gotten better, but I was always very reactive.
Speaker 1: And you know, it also comes from the type of
Speaker 1: household I grew up. I grew up in a Dominican household.
Speaker 1: You know, everything is in my house at least, we
Speaker 1: talk very aggressively, We're very loud, we're very opinionated, We're
Speaker 1: always ready to go, and you know, like me and
Speaker 1: my older brother, we fitted for it pretty much every
Speaker 1: single day. So I grew up thinking that physical violence
Speaker 1: was a way to resolve things and something that was
Speaker 1: completely acceptable. Because throughout you know, elementary, junior, high school,
Speaker 1: and high school, me and my older brother would physically
Speaker 1: assault each other and that transferred over to my I
Speaker 1: like to call that training. I was ready to go
Speaker 1: in school at all times. I don't know, I just
Speaker 1: did twelve rounds in my crib last night. Who want
Speaker 1: this sauce today? Yeah, that's right. Don't be looking at
Speaker 1: me sideways. You know, I think that just when you
Speaker 1: have older brothers or sisters. You know, my brothers were
Speaker 1: never allowed to touch us, which was actually one of
Speaker 1: the best things. Yeah, because we knew and that was
Speaker 1: like a rule. You know. That was my mom's one
Speaker 1: thing she would say to the boys, you know, but
Speaker 1: we would harass them. You can't touch me. But then
Speaker 1: my sisters and I, my oldest sister Jenny, never ever
Speaker 1: once did we ever get in a physical fight. My
Speaker 1: sister Elizabeth and I. I dented a hairspray can on
Speaker 1: her head one New Year's Eve while my mom people downstairs.
Speaker 1: And here we are upstairs fighting over the Aussie hairspray
Speaker 1: because I wanted my banks to be bigger than her bangs.
Speaker 1: And you know, then it got ugly. She wouldn't give
Speaker 1: me the hair spray can. So here we are scratching
Speaker 1: each other's faces off, Happy new Your mom girl almost
Speaker 1: went to jail over some spiky banks that Auntie sprunt
Speaker 1: spray that was the ship back then, you know. Like,
Speaker 1: but that's but that's where I'm saying. It's like, you know, now,
Speaker 1: if I were to ever fight with my sister, I
Speaker 1: would never lay a finger on her, you know. And
Speaker 1: that's where I say, it's a combination of like immaturity,
Speaker 1: your youth. You do learn and you do better. But then, like,
Speaker 1: what's the explanation for these fifties sixty year olds like
Speaker 1: I was telling you that are still fighting and like,
Speaker 1: but also like just to go back to my to
Speaker 1: the to the cleaning lady Chiefsman, I'm not done with
Speaker 1: this story. I have questions. He's in his sixties, still
Speaker 1: messing around. I'm like, come on, guy, you better like
Speaker 1: I would be hanging out on your lazy boy relaxing girl.
Speaker 1: You're you're too young for these things? Are you too
Speaker 1: old for these thing? Okay? Behavor in Dominican Republic. They
Speaker 1: over here trying to still hold on to their youth
Speaker 1: for as long as possible. So of course they're here
Speaker 1: creeping trying to find young girls. They're not gonna let
Speaker 1: it go. They're not gonna go out with out of fight, Carolina.
Speaker 1: They're trying to have kids. You know what I think
Speaker 1: to like some pulling some Julio Glessia ship. Um, you
Speaker 1: know what I think is important though, I think that
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry, I don't want to get deep, but
Speaker 1: this this is just something that really drives me insane.
Speaker 1: And I said it myself just right now, I said,
Speaker 1: my two kids are too fiery Latinos. In order for
Speaker 1: us to lose that stigma, we have to do better
Speaker 1: in these types of situations, because that's what's expected of
Speaker 1: us right, you know, And I think that that's where
Speaker 1: we start to change to the narrative of you know,
Speaker 1: well she's this, well she's this, or she's that. And
Speaker 1: you know, I've encountered that at phrase or that description
Speaker 1: in my career many many times because of the way
Speaker 1: that I've approached things. So I think that, like, that's
Speaker 1: something that I've actively been trying to work on with
Speaker 1: my kids, even with my nieces, because as young women
Speaker 1: coming up in this world, I always tell them you
Speaker 1: are going to be judged by your looks. They all
Speaker 1: look Latina, they all they all have like, you know,
Speaker 1: our our tell tale. You know, they're they're not white girls,
Speaker 1: like where as far as like my son's they look white,
Speaker 1: they're passing white. Right, So I think it's really difference.
Speaker 1: It's a big difference. And that's why I'm saying, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not finding the right words right now, because I
Speaker 1: gotta be honest with you, I need a little bit
Speaker 1: of caffeine. I'm so tired. But like you guys understand
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I think that as we continue, we
Speaker 1: have to try to find different ways to express our
Speaker 1: our passion or our anger or our frustration. With things
Speaker 1: in order for people to take us seriously and not
Speaker 1: think that we're going to go to that space all
Speaker 1: the time. You know what I mean, did you understand
Speaker 1: any of that? Because I know I'm all over the place.
Speaker 1: Of course, it's like we're already a minority. You can
Speaker 1: see where minority. So when we're out here, we want
Speaker 1: to make sure, you know, we're changing that stereotype and
Speaker 1: that stigma that might have been following us throughout you know,
Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds of years. We have to let them know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask, very fund very calmly, take my money.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk out, So I understand where you're coming from.
Speaker 1: You know, we're all responsible as a community, you know,
Speaker 1: to make sure that the way we are viewed and
Speaker 1: the way we are I guess checked off in boxes
Speaker 1: continues to progress in a positive way. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe you can identify with this. Maybe right now there's
Speaker 1: something that's going on in your life where you know
Speaker 1: you've been heated, or somebody keeps pressing you, or there's
Speaker 1: a situation at work, whatever it is, you know, you
Speaker 1: have to find that space where you can get a
Speaker 1: better understanding and get a better handle on those emotions
Speaker 1: and those feelings. So you're not the You're not the sucker,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Because like even now you look,
Speaker 1: I mean, and going back to where we originated the
Speaker 1: conversation with Will Smith, you know, look at what it
Speaker 1: did to his career, Look at what it did to
Speaker 1: you know, the image that he worked so hard to uphold,
Speaker 1: and that you know, that's that's thinking about it on
Speaker 1: a grander scale. But like think about you and you're
Speaker 1: standing in your community, and you know, look, we're all human.
Speaker 1: We're all human, and and I feel like that's something
Speaker 1: we all deserve grace, we all deserve mercy. But you know,
Speaker 1: we got to do the work. We have to do
Speaker 1: the work within ourselves. And you know, I'm constantly trying
Speaker 1: to work and evolve, and I'll tell you right now,
Speaker 1: I am not without fault. I get mad. I know
Speaker 1: that there are times where I'm embarrassed by myself and
Speaker 1: the way that I react. But I also know that,
Speaker 1: like I'm actively working to just be better, you know,
Speaker 1: So hopefully this will give you out one little nugget.
Speaker 1: Maybe this is the maybe this is the wake up
Speaker 1: call that you needed to do that inner self work
Speaker 1: to try to like get to a better space for yourself.
Speaker 1: And I'll add to that, the closer you are to God,
Speaker 1: the further Aleablo will be from you. Amen. Amen, you
Speaker 1: know you got to keep him in your life. And
Speaker 1: I know that we have so many people who listen
Speaker 1: that are of different you know, religions. You guys, you
Speaker 1: know I have different things that you believe in. But
Speaker 1: number one, whatever it is that you do believe in,
Speaker 1: be close to that because like like we said before,
Speaker 1: the devil is alive, he works harder. And you know,
Speaker 1: we've just got to make sure that we maintain and
Speaker 1: I mean listen, I hope that everybody. Yeah, I hope
Speaker 1: you guys real quick. You know what it is. I've
Speaker 1: never been more connected than at this point in time,
Speaker 1: I really have. I feel like it's um my perspective
Speaker 1: has changed. Um once I started putting my children into
Speaker 1: Catholic education shin they go every week. I think it's
Speaker 1: just so important to have something, any something for you
Speaker 1: to believe in. And that's the reason why I always
Speaker 1: say I would never ever pressure anybody to believe in
Speaker 1: what I believe. I honor you. I I think that
Speaker 1: that is a wonderful thing for everybody to have their
Speaker 1: own thing. But whatever that one thing is, put your
Speaker 1: trust in that. Be careful out in these streets. Okay.
Speaker 1: And on that note, Carolina, that's right. Well, let us
Speaker 1: know guys, share your stories with us. We love the
Speaker 1: chiefs man uh l. I Spanglish is where you can
Speaker 1: find us on Instagram. I'm at the real Carolina follow
Speaker 1: me today, please and make sure you follow me to
Speaker 1: I Am Honey German. All right, and make sure you
Speaker 1: guys subscribe and leave your reviews. We love reading those reviews.
Speaker 1: Me and Carolina go through them and it's like you're
Speaker 1: writing us a letter. If you do actually want to
Speaker 1: write us a letter or send a question for the salon,
Speaker 1: hit us up on our Gmail, which is Life and
Speaker 1: Spanglish Podcast at gmail dot com. Yeah, please do like
Speaker 1: and subscribe and email us and just do all the
Speaker 1: communicating because we love you. Thanks guys. Okay, I love
Speaker 1: baby by, I love you too. Lifense Banglish is a
Speaker 1: production of Lipense Banglish Productions in partnership with I Heart's
Speaker 1: Michael Tura podcast Network.