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Speaker 1: It's like, literally, one day I was in the studio

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Speaker 1: wearing baggy jeans, and then the next time they see me,

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Speaker 1: I'm wearing i have blue eyeshadow on my eyes and

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Speaker 1: I'm wearing heels and expect people to just turn it

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Speaker 1: off and accept that. And so that took me some

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Speaker 1: time to really heal from that, blaming people for not

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Speaker 1: just accepting who I am, especially in the black industry.

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Speaker 1: And it was a lesson that I often try to

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Speaker 1: advise other people people.

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Speaker 2: That is d Smith talking about her transition and how

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Speaker 2: difficult it was for her to realize that a community,

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Speaker 2: a music community that she loved no longer loved her.

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Speaker 2: That's all coming up on this edition of Naked.

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Speaker 3: It's the greatest disperse and entertainment and Naked Win and

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Speaker 3: Carry Champion and carry Champion is going to be a champion,

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Speaker 3: a champion, they carry Champion, they got Champion, and care

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Speaker 3: with Chapion and care with Chapy.

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Speaker 2: Great Fred Entertainment getting you where. Hey, everybody, welcome to

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Speaker 2: another edition of Naked. Today's podcast is one where I

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Speaker 2: would like you all to implore empathy, grace and mercy.

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Speaker 2: Grace learned from the church and from my mother. And

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Speaker 2: what I've been taught is when we receive a blessing

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Speaker 2: that we truly don't deserve, I e. When we've been

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Speaker 2: acting out and we know we don't deserve it, but

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Speaker 2: we get in it. Grace mercy is when we don't

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Speaker 2: get the punishment we deserve. I'm gonna give you a

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Speaker 2: little mercy. So all of those things are needed today.

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Speaker 2: I know, as a journalist, especially in the world we

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Speaker 2: live in, when we talk about transgender LGBTQ, I hesitate

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Speaker 2: to have conversations because I don't know what pronounce to use.

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Speaker 2: She heard them, they I get confused. I am of

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Speaker 2: the age where I am confused, and so I steer

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Speaker 2: clear of it, or I just refer to the person

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Speaker 2: as their name. And then on today's podcast, I have

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Speaker 2: d Smith. D Smith has transitioned and twenty fourteen D

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Speaker 2: Smith went from being a man to a woman. Prior

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Speaker 2: to that, D Smith was out as gay. Prior to that,

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Speaker 2: D Smith lived a life where he back in the day,

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Speaker 2: pretended to be heterosexual and date women, and that has

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Speaker 2: to be difficult to live. A lie. Often times we

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Speaker 2: do it. We lie about how successful we are, We

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Speaker 2: lie about who we like or love. We lie about

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Speaker 2: the life we live. But to feel which I wouldn't understand,

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Speaker 2: but to feel out of home, out of not in

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Speaker 2: comfort with your body, it has to be something that's

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Speaker 2: excruciatingly painful. It just has to be. And this is

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Speaker 2: the first time I've ever really thought about it because

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Speaker 2: she d Smith came on my podcast today to talk

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Speaker 2: about Cocomo City. It is a film that features the

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Speaker 2: lives of four trans women as they take us through

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Speaker 2: their introductions to sex work and how they try to

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Speaker 2: reconcile the demands of survival with the risk of their jobs,

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Speaker 2: but also being their most authentic selves, and of course

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Speaker 2: the complicated relationship that the black community has with gay

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Speaker 2: in trans It's a complicated relationship. D Smith said she

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Speaker 2: prayed to God when she was six years old and said, God,

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Speaker 2: I know you made a mistake. I forgive you, but

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Speaker 2: just make me a girl. Can you imagine carrying that

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Speaker 2: burden at six years old? So with that being said,

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Speaker 2: I just ask you again for empathy, compassion, mercy and

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Speaker 2: grace as you listened to d Smith tell her story,

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Speaker 2: but most importantly, she's very proud of this work. Cocomo City.

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Speaker 2: Everybody welcome d Smith to Naked and Care with Chatpian

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Speaker 2: and Care with Chat. First off, thank you so much

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Speaker 2: for doing this and more importantly, your courage. I love

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Speaker 2: the story, and I love what you're telling and what

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Speaker 2: you're sharing. I usually like to do an origin story,

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Speaker 2: and I have great researchers, at least I believe they are,

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Speaker 2: and I was able to get more of your background.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to be fully prepared. I'd like for you

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Speaker 2: to tell me where you grew up, your gospel background, and.

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Speaker 1: And what made you you as a youth. Uh well,

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Speaker 1: I originally I'm originally from Miami. That's where I'm based.

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Speaker 1: Now that's full circle moment. It's crazy. I did grow

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Speaker 1: up in church and it was I mean, it honestly

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Speaker 1: was the joy of my life. I grew up, you know,

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Speaker 1: with my grandparents. My dad and my mom were divorced,

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Speaker 1: and my dad was a musician. He traveled the world,

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Speaker 1: So a lot of my influences really came for my grandmother.

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Speaker 1: Like she taught me how to drive. I still drive

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Speaker 1: with two feet, thanks but no. Church was a huge

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Speaker 1: part of my upbringing and the fabric of my musical education.

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Speaker 1: And I moved to New York I moved to New

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Speaker 1: York when I was seventeen, and I went there homeless

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Speaker 1: and slept in the streets of New York and became

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Speaker 1: a subway singer. Eventually got money to buy I meant

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Speaker 1: to get a room in Harlem, and I ended up

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Speaker 1: getting a publishing gale, my first wishing deal, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then I started to work with major artists like

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Speaker 1: you know, Lil Wayne, Carry Hilson, Sierra Monica and all

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Speaker 1: the you know, they were popping.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, it was, it was. It was.

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Speaker 1: I've always been really ambitious and crazy enough to just

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Speaker 1: kind of like always take a chance on things.

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Speaker 2: I do love the idea of taking a chance. And

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Speaker 2: you named some you name some artists you like they

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Speaker 2: were popping. I'm like, they still pop. In what you're saying,

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Speaker 2: like they still popping. So you eventually, I personally, let's

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Speaker 2: go personally as opposed to professionally personally. I read that

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Speaker 2: you came out when you were how old. Well I

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Speaker 2: never came out. I was actually forced out. I was

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Speaker 2: I was dating a girl. I was dating a girl

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Speaker 2: and she.

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Speaker 1: Started questioning because we we we weren't having sex as much.

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Speaker 1: And I blamed it on stress. I blamed it on

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Speaker 1: a lot of responsibilities and I just wasn't into it.

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Speaker 1: I was in love with her, but I was so

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Speaker 1: into men and I couldn't it just she was just

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Speaker 1: became very suspicious, and someone in the music industry I

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Speaker 1: still don't know to this day, basically kind of you know,

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Speaker 1: asked her, do you think maybe D could be gay

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Speaker 1: or by or something? And that opened up and I

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Speaker 1: just got tired of, you know, denying and hiding and

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Speaker 1: I literally just like, okay, okay, I'm gay, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: And then and from that I thought it would be over,

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Speaker 1: We'll be friends, and it just it just it was

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Speaker 1: very heartbreaking for her and really heartbreaking for me that,

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Speaker 1: you know, I did that to her. But that was

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Speaker 1: that was my coming out. But I transitioned in twenty fourteen.

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Speaker 1: I think that's probably what you're referring to.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, I was refering to you saying that

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Speaker 2: you were telling I read that you told some family

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Speaker 2: members and they were not happy with it, mainly your father.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, about me being transgender. Yeah, that was

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Speaker 1: like later, that was like twenty fourteen, and in yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: still not good with him, but but you know, he

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Speaker 1: claims he loves me unconditionally.

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Speaker 2: Which is kind of like funny. Humans, we're just working.

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Speaker 2: We just all trying our best, whatever that looks like

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Speaker 2: for them. You come out and you tell this young

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Speaker 2: lady in the music industry that you're gay. Were there

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Speaker 2: any repercussions about saying that in terms of your professional career?

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Speaker 2: Was anyone feeling a way they didn't want to work

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Speaker 2: with you? Everything was fine, everything was Did anything change

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Speaker 2: in your life outside of it mentioning or coming out

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Speaker 2: as gay before you condition? Yeah? Both both times I

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Speaker 2: got embarrassed. But it's funny.

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Speaker 1: It's just like church, right, you could be gay, but

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Speaker 1: if you dress a certain way, we'll accept it, especially

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Speaker 1: if you're bringing something to the table, whether you're a

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Speaker 1: quid director, director, the organist, or the drummer. You know,

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Speaker 1: if you can if you're not, you know, hard to

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Speaker 1: deal with, we can accept it. And that's that's the

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Speaker 1: hip hop hypocrisy. Yeah, it's like there's so many gay,

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Speaker 1: homosexual people in the music industry, including women.

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Speaker 2: It's not just men.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've been in the music industry for over

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Speaker 1: fifteen years. There's a lot of homosexuality in the artists

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Speaker 1: and the managements and the you know, the regular labels themselves.

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Speaker 1: But you can't force people to just come out or

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Speaker 1: to be what you think they should be.

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Speaker 2: People. You have to respect people's process in progress.

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Speaker 1: But mine, I've always kind of been like ahead, and

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Speaker 1: most of my connections in the black community, in the

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Speaker 1: in the music industry with black people, right, most of

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Speaker 1: my contacts, most of the n ars, most of the

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Speaker 1: artists and the managers that I was dealing with. And

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Speaker 1: so when I started to dress way more feminine, it's like,

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Speaker 1: literally one day I was in the studio wearing baggy

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Speaker 1: jeans and goud it's so crazy about me even saying this,

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Speaker 1: you know, and fit its and and and then the

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Speaker 1: next time they see me, I'm wearing i have blue

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Speaker 1: eye shadow on my eyes and I'm wearing heels and

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Speaker 1: expect people to just turn it off and accept that.

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Speaker 1: And so that took me some time to really heal

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Speaker 1: from that, blaming people for not just accepting who I am,

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Speaker 1: especially in the black industry. And it was a lesson

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Speaker 1: that I often try to advise other people, like it's

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Speaker 1: you want people to accept you for who you are,

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Speaker 1: but it's very unrealistic that people know and fall in

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Speaker 1: love with one person and you want them to just

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Speaker 1: completely turn that off and look at you as the

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Speaker 1: same person. It's very, very hard to do. So my

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Speaker 1: transition to female as a direct I met as a

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Speaker 1: producer in the black community.

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Speaker 2: It's very difficult, wasn't it so layered? So layered you

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Speaker 2: specifically reference being in the black community. There's taboo associated

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Speaker 2: with it. What was your experience, because that's when I

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Speaker 2: say courage. That takes a lot of courage. I have

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Speaker 2: seen and hear and know how people react and how

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Speaker 2: were you able to push through that? That was very like,

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Speaker 2: I don't say groundbreaking, but no, it was groundbreaking. No,

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Speaker 2: no one in the black community had ever dealt with

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Speaker 2: the trans woman that was a stable, successful producer music producers,

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Speaker 2: especially working with multiple rappers, and they didn't know how

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Speaker 2: to deal with that. And the first thing to do,

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Speaker 2: as Black people, we like to run and hide rather

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Speaker 2: than having a face to face, mature, emotionally balanced discussion

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Speaker 2: about this, you know, and and it became a nothing

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Speaker 2: because we shut it off and we get rid of

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Speaker 2: it and you're just dismissed. So that was the experience

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Speaker 2: of you know, coming out as transgender. So all of

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Speaker 2: the awards, the money, the you know, the relationships, none

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Speaker 2: of that mattered. Everything went out of the window, just

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Speaker 2: like that, and so the money stopped coming in and

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Speaker 2: opportunity stopped coming in for me. It was described as

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Speaker 2: blacklisted to me in my research. Is that an appropriate

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Speaker 2: way to describe how you felt once you transitioned in

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Speaker 2: the music industry? I think that's a really harsh, extreme word.

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Speaker 2: But I was also in denial for years, and I

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Speaker 2: made excuses for all of those people that persecuted me

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Speaker 2: for being myself. I love black people, and I loved

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Speaker 2: all the people that dismissed me. I made excuses for them,

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Speaker 2: and I suffered. Now, you know, almost ten years later,

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Speaker 2: I understand that that wasn't you know, that was discrimination.

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Speaker 2: It was very hurtful and I was absolutely blacklisted, black balled,

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Speaker 2: or whatever you call it. And it wasn't anything that

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Speaker 2: I did to anyone. It's something that I did for

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Speaker 2: my and people took that personal. I don't know how

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Speaker 2: so I would describe that. You know, I literally lost

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Speaker 2: everything due to that, and I don't regret it. I

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Speaker 2: don't regret it, you know, because it was I probably

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Speaker 2: I don't know how other way I would have continued

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Speaker 2: to live my life that way. When you decided to transition,

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Speaker 2: what was the process, And by process, I mean, was

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Speaker 2: it that you, like, I just can't live a lie anymore.

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Speaker 2: You had to come out of this image, this lie,

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Speaker 2: or you had to feel as if you wanted to

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Speaker 2: be at home in your body. What is this process

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Speaker 2: for you? It was very closer to the latter.

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Speaker 1: It's a little cliche to say, but when I was

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Speaker 1: maybe six, I want to say seven, but definitely six.

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Speaker 2: I remember saying a prayer to God that I know.

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Speaker 1: You made a mistake. I know God, I know we

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Speaker 1: all make mistakes. You clearly made a mistake by making

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Speaker 1: me a boy. But here's the good news. I will

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Speaker 1: forgive you if you just make me a girl. And

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Speaker 1: I prayed and cried, and I got beatings for being

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Speaker 1: caught wearing my grandmother's dresses and my mom's guest dresses

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Speaker 1: and shoes, and kissing my brother's friends and the closet.

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Speaker 1: I didn't you know it was it was beyond gay.

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Speaker 1: I was never molested, I wasn't exposed to anything homophobic.

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Speaker 1: Nothing was pushed on me. You know, it was natural

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Speaker 1: for me as a child to desire to be a

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Speaker 1: woman and and uh, it's always been something that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to do, but the older I got, it was

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Speaker 1: suppressed because of upbringing, church girls, the music industry.

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Speaker 2: Friends. It wasn't even considered. I didn't consider it. I

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Speaker 2: just always dreamt of it. And so when I started

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Speaker 2: seeing more things publicly and understanding, you listen, time is flying,

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Speaker 2: you know your life is This is something I always

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Speaker 2: wanted to do, and I decided to take hormone therapy.

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Speaker 2: But before that, I took therapy for a year with

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Speaker 2: doctors just to talk it through and make sure that

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Speaker 2: I wasn't tripping. And yeah, so uh, after a year

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Speaker 2: a therapy, I decided to transition. Don't go anywhere. We

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Speaker 2: have more with d Smith after we pay these bills.

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Speaker 2: You do not want to miss her very compelling and

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Speaker 2: compassionate story, you guys. This one is this one is special.

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Speaker 3: Back in the moment, every champion and Cary Champion is

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Speaker 3: to be a Championata Champion and Cary Chappion and Carrie

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Speaker 3: Chappy Yata Champion.

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Speaker 2: And carry Chappion and carry chap Entertainment and Naked Weird.

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Speaker 3: Very Champion and carry Chappion is to be a Championata champion,

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Speaker 3: and Carrie Chappie and Niggery got a champion and carry

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Speaker 3: Chapion and carried.

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Speaker 2: Shep Let's pick up where we left off. D Smith

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Speaker 2: joins us on naked And so when you now look

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Speaker 2: back on the therapy, the the transition physically and what

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Speaker 2: you perceived as lost, what are your biggest lessons your

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Speaker 2: biggest takeaways?

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Speaker 1: Well, this process has taught me how damaged our community

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Speaker 1: is as black people. I don't know whose fault it is.

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Speaker 1: You know, I wanted to blame my dad for things.

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Speaker 1: I want to blame my mom. I blame myself. You know,

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Speaker 1: it was so many things growing up that we could

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Speaker 1: all say that's why, that's why, that's why. But someone

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Speaker 1: raised my father, someone raised my grandfather, someone beat my

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Speaker 1: great grandfather, someone, you know, and it caused us not

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Speaker 1: to coddle our children, coddle each other emotionally as children.

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Speaker 1: And you know, we're neglected emotionally and is extremely damaging,

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Speaker 1: really traumatizing for us as black people. We rarely, rarely,

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Speaker 1: rarely get the opportunity to afford a healthy mental child flick.

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Speaker 2: You know, we rarely do.

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Speaker 1: It's it's very harsh growing up as a as a

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Speaker 1: black child, and we're used to it. We're used to,

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Speaker 1: you know, the punishment, the words, the ass weapons, the

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Speaker 1: we we already know what it is. No matter where

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Speaker 1: we are in the world, it's a universal black thing.

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Speaker 1: We're all raised by the same parents. As they say, preach, go, go,

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Speaker 1: preach so and so I realized through my process of

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Speaker 1: transitioning it wasn't just the transitioning, it was just mental undoing.

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Speaker 2: And I had to be realistic, not extreme saying this

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Speaker 2: is wrong, this is wrong. I had to really step

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Speaker 2: out objectively and.

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Speaker 1: Realistically as a human, say what it is it that

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Speaker 1: I identify as a What what do I gravitate to,

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Speaker 1: What makes me feel comfortable, what makes me feel proud

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Speaker 1: and safe?

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Speaker 2: And what's natural for me? What is natural?

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Speaker 1: And I had to I had to commit to that,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to find that and and learn and

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Speaker 1: heal with that. But then doing that, those are all

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Speaker 1: the things that I was taught was wrong.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: You know, I know my father loves me, but it's

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Speaker 1: what's happening with him. I can't blame other black men

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Speaker 1: and ask them to accept me and respect me. If

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Speaker 1: my own father don't and I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: a hypocrite my my father. My father used to tell

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Speaker 1: me it's really personal, but I'm okay. And my father

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Speaker 1: used to tell me growing up that he and his

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Speaker 1: friends used to beat up gay people and really buoyant

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Speaker 1: guys and like in school, like fight them for no reason,

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Speaker 1: just fight them and beat them up, all the gay boys.

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Speaker 1: Like that was the end thing back in the day,

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Speaker 1: you know, and he was. We took proud of that,

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Speaker 1: pride of that.

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Speaker 2: And now he has not only one transgender daughter, he

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Speaker 2: has too. I have a sibling that's transgender. So it's like,

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Speaker 2: I don't We're not karma. But at the same time,

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Speaker 2: you have to parents like to fight what they know

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Speaker 2: is in them as well. You know what they're fighting.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know what my dad's going through, but

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Speaker 1: you know, let's just go to show, like blue Face

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Speaker 1: acting his baby his child is he gay?

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Speaker 2: At the five six years old? It's like, why do

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Speaker 2: we do that? As parents? It's like, as black.

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Speaker 1: People, it's traumatizing. It's scary to be accused of something

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Speaker 1: that you are or that you aren't in a way

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Speaker 1: that feels vicious and threatening.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I will say this. I sense your carefulness with

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Speaker 2: your words and the way in which you're trying to

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Speaker 2: have grace and mercy when you talk about something that

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Speaker 2: is so very painful. I think a lot of what

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Speaker 2: you're describing is just a lack of education and understanding.

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Speaker 2: And so you take all of these experiences that I

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Speaker 2: feel and I could be wrong in real time you're

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Speaker 2: still dealing with and you have the opportunity to create

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Speaker 2: this wonderful film that has won awards at Sundance, that

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Speaker 2: has been celebrated for its authenticity because people don't know

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Speaker 2: how to be authentic whatever you're doing with in life, right,

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Speaker 2: and I think that there is definitely a connection there.

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Speaker 2: How would you describe and make sure I'm saying this right,

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Speaker 2: Cocomo Cocobo, Cocomo City, Cocamo City. I'm making sure I'm

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Speaker 2: saying that correct. How would you subscribe Cocomo City for

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Speaker 2: those who are going to watch Cocomo City is like.

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Speaker 1: It's a black film that to me, it's a it's

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Speaker 1: a black film, it's black more before its LGBT. I

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Speaker 1: I do accept you know how people label it because

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Speaker 1: you know this is this is new and I'm just

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful for platform, but I I do like to

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Speaker 1: point out that there are men in the film that

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Speaker 1: love women.

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Speaker 2: Some of them are fathers.

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Speaker 1: Most of them are fathers, and it's not fair to

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Speaker 1: throw them into the LGBT bus because we're too lazy

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Speaker 1: to name it something else.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like, just because I'm transgender and I've made a

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Speaker 1: film doesn't mean it's LGBT. It's like, but Cocomo City

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Speaker 1: is like a I said, I wanted to create a

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Speaker 1: film that if if Tarantino and Spike Lee was to

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Speaker 1: make a documentary, what would that look like? So it's

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a fresh take on the transgender narrative creatively,

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Speaker 1: you know, visually. So yeah, it's basically, you know, for

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Speaker 1: trans women telling their stories about being uh, sex workers

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Speaker 1: and that dichotomy between them and the Black community as

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Speaker 1: a whole, and what that looks like to them and

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Speaker 1: their experiences. Yeah, that's that's pretty the sum up of

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Speaker 1: Coco City. But it's also the current and fresh. It's

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Speaker 1: a new take on on us as black people.

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Speaker 2: What is your what's your inspiration? What is your inspiration

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Speaker 2: for Cocamo City? Black people? I want, I want I

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Speaker 2: am a creative person and I want to express myself

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Speaker 2: creatively and it is it's it's a black It's.

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Speaker 1: Almost like you ever seen like I wanted to feel

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Speaker 1: like you've ever seen that, You've ever seen good times

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Speaker 1: like that show Good Times and they have that painting

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Speaker 1: with the bodies.

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Speaker 2: They're all long and they're doing like this and they're.

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Speaker 1: Dancing and you're liketionistic, surrealistic, so realistic, but it's black.

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Speaker 1: It's like creative, but it's so black. You can almost

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Speaker 1: smell the funk. You could feel the high. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's like I want Coole City like that. You just

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Speaker 1: know what it is universally. You can put it on

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Speaker 1: mute and you still feel you feel that that universal

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Speaker 1: body language of black people and how we talk. It's

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Speaker 1: just a it's a new calling card for us as

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Speaker 1: black people and queer people to push the uh the

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Speaker 1: needle further with our storytelling and also tap back into

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Speaker 1: our blackness and our stories.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I want to do that. I want

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Speaker 2: to be a part of that. The acknowledgment and the

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Speaker 2: awards that you've received so far, does that validate you

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Speaker 2: in any way? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean hell yeah, you know, it's like I

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Speaker 1: made Cocomo City with the bare minimum materials.

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Speaker 2: I had to.

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Speaker 1: Edit, I did the cinematography, and I directed it and

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Speaker 1: mainly because I had no money, only because I had

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Speaker 1: no money, but also it's something I would want to

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Speaker 1: have done anyway. You know, as a creator is fulfilling

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Speaker 1: to me. You feel really validated. You do like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you see me. Do you feel seen? Do you feel seen?

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Speaker 1: Truly seen?

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Speaker 2: I do.

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Speaker 1: I do, but I feel seen as I also feel seen.

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Speaker 1: I feel seen as a creator. It's not I'm recognized

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Speaker 1: as a trans woman that that's a creator that happens

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Speaker 1: to be transgender.

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Speaker 2: I do feel that. I don't feel like there's too

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Speaker 2: less or too much more of ratio. But I have to.

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Speaker 2: I have to keep going.

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Speaker 1: I've tapped into something that I'm really good at, and

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Speaker 1: I have resource and access to do more and to

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Speaker 1: tell more stories and to help more people. How much

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Speaker 1: more dignifying can you be? Dignified?

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Speaker 2: Could you be? As a director?

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Speaker 1: To get a standing ovation and Sundance and Berlin at

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Speaker 1: the International premieres and there when we went to to Berlin,

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Speaker 1: the girls they came as well, the cast, those people

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Speaker 1: stood up I'm not kidding.

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Speaker 2: I have the video to prove it. They stood up

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Speaker 2: for almost ten minutes clapping and would not stop. Wow

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Speaker 2: did they make you crying? Oh? What? I was a disaster.

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Speaker 2: I was a disaster. I was a mess. I was

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Speaker 2: in shop.

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Speaker 1: And actually when we went to screen the film, before

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Speaker 1: we even played it, we came in after everyone had

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Speaker 1: sat down. We were going to sit in the back,

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Speaker 1: and as we walked in, people just started clapping and

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Speaker 1: stood up when we even walked in. So when the

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Speaker 1: movie was over, forget about it. And and the fact

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Speaker 1: that I was able to see the girls respond and

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Speaker 1: look at themselves on that screen because I had seen

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Speaker 1: this movie a thousand times before they seen it, and

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Speaker 1: I just couldn't wait to see them. Could you imagine

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Speaker 1: filming something in your the raw state, saying whatever you

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Speaker 1: want to say. Half the time, you were smoking and drinking,

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Speaker 1: and you did a documentary with no makeup, half dressed,

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Speaker 1: and you put all of that trust into one person

433
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: that you don't even know, and then you hear that

434
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: it's going to sundance and it's gonna be on a

435
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 1: huge screen in front of people, and you've not seen anything,

436
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: you don't can't remember what you said, what you were

437
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 1: wearing with the life. That took a lot for those women.

438
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 1: It took a lot from me because I was just

439
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: like nervous about the audience, nervous about how does it

440
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 1: how is it gonna look on the screen, and more

441
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 1: importantly are the girls gonna be okay with what I did?

442
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: So there was a lot of anxiety there. But to

443
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 1: see those girls being so proud just it was worth

444
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: every frame frame.

445
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 3: Every champion and Cary Champion is to be a champion,

446
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 3: out a champion and carry Chappion and Cary chat be

447
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 3: out a champion and carry Chappion and Carrie she.

448
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 2: Entertainment and make it work.

449
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 3: Kerry Champion and Carrie Champion is to be a champion

450
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 3: of Champion and Carrie Chappie and the girls a champion

451
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 3: and carry Chappion and Carrie shep.

452
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 2: You talk about now that you've done this, you have resources,

453
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 2: you have access, you have attention, You feel validated, all

454
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 2: of the things that so many of us think we want.

455
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 2: Is there anything else that's missing for you? I don't.

456
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: I yeah, there there there are. There's a lot of

457
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: there's a lot more healing that I need that I

458
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,400
Speaker 1: want to do in my life. A lot of things

459
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 1: I walked away from, you know. I I have two

460
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: projects that I'm about to start developing now with some

461
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: great production companies, really big situations, and thank you. I

462
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: can't tell you how grateful I am. It's this has

463
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: been the most frustrating part of the whole journey, is

464
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 1: not finding the words.

465
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 2: It's just.

466
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: Share with people that that really shows what I feel

467
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 1: right now, you know. But yeah, there's there's things I

468
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: there's a lot of closure that I want as a

469
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: person to to you know, to move on with my

470
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: life and and to be able to help more people.

471
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,199
Speaker 1: And I want, I want, I don't know.

472
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 2: I kind of want to go back to church. I

473
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 2: know this sounds weird. I really missed.

474
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: I hated church for years because it's so hard, even

475
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 1: not as a trans person, just hard. You know, people

476
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: are tough in church as well, you know. But I

477
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 1: miss the smell of church. I missed the drums in

478
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: the choir. I miss I missed going giving offering. I'm

479
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 1: not I missed that experience as a child, you know,

480
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 1: But I don't know what that process looked like with

481
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: me going back to church. I don't know how dedicated

482
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: I want to be. I just I kind of miss it.

483
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: Uh And I don't know, know that's random. I know

484
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 1: it's random and just crazy. But I miss church, you know,

485
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: I missed that was a huge part of my life,

486
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 1: you know. But hopefully, you know, if I could find

487
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 1: somewhere safe that that's pretty close to my upbringing, that'll

488
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: be that'll make me pretty happy.

489
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 2: Safe is the key word. We all like to feel safe.

490
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 2: Everything you're asking for is regard lists of gender. It

491
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: is just a human nature. It's a part of the humanity.

492
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 2: We need to feel safe, we need to feel seen,

493
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 2: we need to feel validated. These are all A lot

494
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 2: of people don't like to admit that they need validation.

495
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 2: We are human. What do you mean, of course validation, girl,

496
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: I need validation. It doesn't mean that it comes from

497
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean you're insecure. It's who it comes from,

498
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 2: that's right. Validation means it helps you. It fuels you

499
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 2: as a person, like it it fuels you even having

500
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 2: a boyfriend or having like being tipped at a restaurant

501
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 2: as a waiter, like being validated is it's a reward

502
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 2: and it's the enforcement of what you already know the

503
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 2: dream is and who you are, and it's okay to

504
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 2: have some reinforcement. You got to build these walls every

505
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 2: so often. You got to make sure they're stood and sturdy.

506
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 2: That's it's absolutely completely fine. As you tell this story,

507
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 2: I have so much empathy and compassion for you. And

508
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 2: I said it from the begin. It takes a lot

509
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 2: of courage to live your true, true, true self, to

510
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: live in your authenticity, especially in the world that tries

511
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 2: to tell you that you're not validated. So I am.

512
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 2: I'm grateful that whatever the vision was was placed on

513
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 2: your heart and you're sharing a story that needs to

514
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 2: be told. And I'm impressed, truly impressed with Samith that

515
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 2: I'm sending you just so much love. I really am.

516
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 2: Thank you for joining it to get all in. I'm

517
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 2: not gonna let it go. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wonderful.

518
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 2: I appreciate it. Thank you. You guys. Go check out

519
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 2: Cocoono City July. Give me the date because I'm going

520
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 2: to say it again. I'm twenty eight, got it. Thank you,

521
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you. I don't know about y'all. Again,

522
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 2: I don't know about y'all, but I I essentially want

523
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 2: to see this, no matter how uncomfortable I am as

524
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: a journalist having these conversations, because they're just not normal.

525
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,959
Speaker 2: They're not in our everyday lexicon, They're not in our

526
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 2: everyday subject matter. I do need to be educated, We

527
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 2: do need to know. We just do. We can't turn

528
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 2: our back on an entire community and not acknowledge that

529
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 2: they exist, or understand their existence, or at least try

530
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: to understand their existence and why they move and feel

531
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 2: and think the way that they do. Use whatever pronoun

532
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 2: you'd like, but it is imperative because it is not

533
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 2: unlike our struggle as black folks who feel the racism,

534
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 2: the ism is there. Executive producers Lena Waith, a longtime

535
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: friend of D Smith, along with songwriter Stacey Barth, helped

536
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 2: get this project together. It might be bart, but y'all

537
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: get it. The film comes out July twenty eighth, so

538
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 2: by the time that you listen to this podcast, you

539
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 2: should be nice, ready and primed again. I want to

540
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 2: thank d Smith for joining us, and more importantly, I

541
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 2: want to thank you guys for understanding that these are

542
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 2: these tough conversations that we need to have, These naked

543
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 2: conversations that we need to have, which is the reason

544
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 2: I created this podcast. Have a great day and I'll

545
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 2: talk to you soon