1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing position and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to Best of Both Worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to Best of Both Worlds. 10 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode fifty two. We'll be 11 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 1: talking intense careers in general. The bulk of this episode 12 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 1: is going to cover the logistics of couples where both 13 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: parties travel. Lots of myths out there about whether that 14 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: is doable or not. We tend to think it is 15 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: doable over here on Best of Both Worlds because we 16 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: celebrate what is the best of both worlds, and sometimes 17 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: that involves careers that involve leaving your hometown. But you know, 18 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: travel can be an intense part of a job. Physicians 19 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,680 Speaker 1: also have intense parts of their job. Sarah just got 20 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: off a rather rough call week. I'm looking at her notes. Yeah, 21 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: So describe your relationship with call Sarah, Oh, my gosh. 22 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,040 Speaker 1: I don't love to be on call. I do. I'm 23 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: not sure that any physician loves to be on call, 24 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: but I think it is something. You know, it's a 25 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 1: little shame associated with maybe admitting that being there for 26 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 1: your patients twenty four to seven. As much as I'm 27 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 1: glad we can provide that service, it's totally exhausting and 28 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: it really depends on the specialty that you're in. I 29 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: happen to be in one where most places call is 30 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: taken in fairly long chunks to allow for continuity for 31 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: the inpatients in my specialty during those times. So in fact, 32 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: where I trained, we took it a week at a time, 33 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: and we would do that as a fellow, and the 34 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: attendings took it too. Now there the attendings off had 35 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,639 Speaker 1: a fellow working under them, so that must have been nice. However, 36 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: I've never experienced that from the other direction because I 37 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: love my job. But I did take a job somewhere 38 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: that there is no fellowship program. So we do have 39 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: residence now, which is very exciting, but they're not able. 40 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: They're not trained in our specialty and while they're wonderful 41 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: to work with, they really can't take any calls. They'll 42 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,799 Speaker 1: started too, right, yes, and they just started, and so yes, 43 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: I probably would not want that person. Treating me answering 44 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: the phone exactly. So when we're on call, it entails. 45 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: We still see some outpatients because we're not quite busy 46 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: enough in patient to justify a full day clear. However, 47 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: the day is basically like one interruption followed by another, 48 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,080 Speaker 1: Like I'll be seeing a patient and I get a 49 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 1: call from the er, and then I'm in the er 50 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: and I get a call from the third floor, and 51 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: I'm on the third floor and there's another patient calling, 52 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: and then I go home. And not only do I 53 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: have to field calls from the hospital on the inpatients 54 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: that we're dealing with and any consults of issues come up, 55 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,359 Speaker 1: like I might get called with a little blood sugar 56 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: and you know, the general team doesn't know what we'd 57 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: want to do should we do. But I'll also be 58 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: on call for all the parents in our practice, So 59 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: as a pediatric anddochronologist, that that entails a lot. Most 60 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: of the calls we get are from diabetes patients because 61 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: diabetes is really hard and my heart really does go 62 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,959 Speaker 1: out to those parents. And every time I'm complaining about, 63 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 1: you know, answering the phone, I try to stop myself 64 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: and think, oh my god, like this mom's been up 65 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: all night dealing with these blood sugars. But it's still hard, 66 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: Like it doesn't it doesn't it, you know, And you 67 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: know I do have my own nighttime challenges still right now, 68 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,839 Speaker 1: so it isn't like, oh, I have this sanctuary where 69 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: I can dedicate myself to work, Like I'm still feeding 70 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: Genevieve at night, and then I might feed her and 71 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: then an hour later get another call, and then she 72 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: might wake up two hours after that, and then I 73 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: might get another call, and there's just this like loss 74 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: of control. So it's hard. I would say that shift 75 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: type work has gained in popularity over the years, but 76 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: it really depends on the specialty how well that can work, 77 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: and really the specialty I chose I love and I 78 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't change it for the world. But this is one 79 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 1: part of my job that if I could someday minimize it, 80 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: I would, And that is something that I'd love to 81 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: you know. It's one of the reasons I like having 82 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: my hand in other fields to keep my options open 83 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 1: for what would you prefer to have like a call 84 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 1: schedule where you were I mean, if you think about 85 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 1: like an ob practice where you were then on you know, 86 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: overnight Tuesday night and not know, I wouldn't. I hate 87 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: overnight in house stuff like I hate it, like it 88 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: was so miserable. So no, I'd rather answer phone calls 89 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: from my bedroom for a week straight than have to 90 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: go in at two in the morning, Like I'm pretty 91 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,599 Speaker 1: sure that that's true. But I would also rather find 92 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: a situation where I could take a little bit less 93 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: of it than I do right now. Yeah, so interesting, 94 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,280 Speaker 1: there's that well, I mean the overnight part is obviously rough. 95 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 1: I think there there's some aspects of being on call though, 96 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: that I think some other field should think about borrowing. 97 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,719 Speaker 1: I mean, because this is when I I've seen this 98 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: suggested in sort of client facing industries. One of the 99 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: issues is, like people in law, accounting consulting often pride 100 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 1: themselves on responding whenever the client you know, reaches out 101 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: to them. In some clients, yes, your team one hundred 102 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: and fifty thousand dollars a week, like I should be 103 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: able to call you at eleven o'clock and have you 104 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 1: pick up the phone one hundred and consultants. Yes, And 105 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: it's true. The flip side of being on call is 106 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: not being it's not being on call, and and so 107 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: that's the you know, you know that somebody else is 108 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 1: taking that eleven o'clock call from a parent on another 109 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,840 Speaker 1: week and it's not you, Whereas in like the law 110 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: accounting consulting, they're like, well, if the client calls me, 111 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 1: I should deal with it, and so it could be 112 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: you know, whenever they need it, and so I like 113 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: the idea of having a call thing like you know, yes, 114 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: this is a very needy client, we're going to take 115 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,359 Speaker 1: the calls and teams. So we're going to train the 116 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: client that. You know, it's harder to do that because 117 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:52,720 Speaker 1: the client wants to call who they want to call. 118 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: But they say like, oh, you know, Gene is really 119 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 1: focused on your project this week, John had to do 120 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: one other thing. So you probably should reach if you 121 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:04,159 Speaker 1: want someone immediately, you know, and take the work in 122 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: shifts like that. But of course the issue with that 123 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: is that having the close relationship with the clients is 124 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: off in a real currency in these industries, and so 125 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 1: you want to be the guy that the client is calling. 126 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: So there's some issues at that of making it more 127 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: of a call schedule. But I think I could have 128 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 1: some upsides if they did it. Yeah, Oh absolutely, I 129 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: mean I have. I've had many friends who are in 130 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,840 Speaker 1: law or consulting jobs who complain about that, that they 131 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,360 Speaker 1: can put their phone down, but like there's going to 132 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: be repercussions if they do that. Whereas I do know 133 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 1: that if I'm off, like yeah, I might have nothing 134 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 1: urgent is going to get left behind. And that is 135 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 1: a very calming kind of a feeling. Yeah, so I 136 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: can imagine that might be really really tough. And if 137 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,600 Speaker 1: you're on a family vacation even and you don't have 138 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: someone that truly can cover for you, kind of living 139 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 1: with that uncertainty of will will this guy be calling 140 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,239 Speaker 1: me to demand something, like you know, while we're hiking 141 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: and I don't know, is that going to affect when 142 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: you guys take your trip to national And like, do 143 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 1: you think your husband could get called? But I mean 144 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: certainly he can, but I mean, you know, the there's 145 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: enough other people around. He tends to get called when 146 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: there's a problem, so you know there's enough, there's any 147 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: structures there that he can take some vacation. Well that's 148 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: but you know, then if there is a big problem, 149 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: you know, it's almost like helpful for the client to 150 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: be like, oh, look, well we got him in even 151 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: though he's away and there's there's some issues there that's 152 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: really tough. Well we'll see. I mean, you know, it's 153 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: partly I've in Yellowstone, there's like not a whole lot 154 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: of cell reception. I've I've learned. I'm a little wondering 155 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: what I'm going to do about that. I mean more 156 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: it's it's not that there's like clients who urgently need 157 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: somebody's more, there's opportunities come in and you know, if 158 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 1: I get like a media you know request that i'd 159 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: really like to do, I hate to like wait five 160 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: days respond like if Beyonce wants to be on the 161 00:07:55,520 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 1: podcast that email, for instance, and I don't know, we 162 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: see Sarah. If she did, then she'll see me, so 163 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: she'll totally Yeah. And you've done things to make call 164 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: better too, in the sense of partly your issue is 165 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: that you're so because you are still dealing with your 166 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 1: kids in a way that say, you know, somebody who 167 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 1: was in the hospital doing surgery on call, like just 168 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:25,119 Speaker 1: couldn't be correct, and so you were feeling more pulled 169 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: in multiple directions as part of Yeah, it definitely helped. 170 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: My husband often has work to do on the weekends too, 171 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: and the last thing I want is to be pressured 172 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 1: for him to go to the hospital while I'm on call, Like, 173 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: you know, if I finished rounding and I'm home, but 174 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,960 Speaker 1: I can still get phone calls and he's like, well, 175 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: I have to do charts. I don't want to be 176 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 1: left with three kids in my phone, which like may 177 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: may blow up and may not. Like that is so 178 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: incredibly stressful. So we just hired our nanny for the 179 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: past couple of calls and she comes from ten to five, 180 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: and that's enough to basically allow me to focus when 181 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,199 Speaker 1: I need to. And then the rest of the time, 182 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 1: I pretty much tell my husband, hey, he is the 183 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: primary parent. He might do bedtime if I'm you know, 184 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: on a phone call or putting in orders or something. 185 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 1: And so that's a huge that definitely helps. And then 186 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: this past call week, which was I think especially rough 187 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 1: because it's going to pay off, Like I arranged things 188 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: so that I don't have any call actually in August 189 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: at all, so because we're taking vacation. So that's wonderful. 190 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: But the downside is that I took call like three 191 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,199 Speaker 1: weeks apart, which meant that if I look back over 192 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,200 Speaker 1: the past twenty eight days before today, I was on 193 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: call for fourteen of them twenty four to seven, so 194 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: that's like a lot. So I've found myself really kind 195 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: of stressed out, and my husband kept noticing, why do 196 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: you like always randomly grab your phone and look at 197 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 1: Instagram when you're like in like And it's true. So 198 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: I cut myself off a couple of days ago. Maybe 199 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: I was inspired by Minus too. I don't know our episode, well, 200 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: so there you go, go call, but I am excited 201 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 1: so to introduce the main segment here. For me, the 202 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: travel portion of my JA was like the fun part 203 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 1: because I go to conferences and that's not even that 204 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 1: frequent and it's like, oh, networking and fun. But for you, 205 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 1: it is a lot of the bread and butter of 206 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: your job. So I want you to talk about that, 207 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,839 Speaker 1: and then how about that I kind of read off 208 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 1: the title of each myth and you can give your 209 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: side to kind of counter Yeah, So we wanted to 210 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:21,679 Speaker 1: do an episode on the logistics of couples where both 211 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 1: parties travel for work, because one of the things we 212 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: see all the time in one what tends to, you know, 213 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: undermine kind of women's career advance, not as you go 214 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: up the ladder. In different corporate jobs, for instance, often 215 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 1: there's travel involved in it, or in different service industries, 216 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: there's travel involved in your job. And if both parties travel, 217 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: somebody the assumption is somebody has to stop, right, And 218 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:47,080 Speaker 1: if somebody has to stop, more often than not, it 219 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: winds up being mom. And then that's why his career 220 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 1: takes off and hers does not, and in fact will 221 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: flatline or decline, and that can be a source of 222 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: you know, stress. But people feel like I didn't have 223 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,959 Speaker 1: any other option, like it can't work. People can both 224 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: travel and a couple and as a part of a 225 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: family where you know, both of us travel actually quite 226 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: a bit. I don't think that's true. And do you 227 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: want to give them specifics like if you estimated the 228 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: past year, yeah, how much or each of you away? Well, 229 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:23,839 Speaker 1: I have traveled almost every week. It's generally one or 230 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 1: two nights, which tends to mean two or three days. Right, 231 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 1: So because you might like fly out Wednesday morning, fly 232 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: home Thursday evening, or maybe like fly out Wednesday morning, 233 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: come home Friday afternoon. Right there, it would be a 234 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: two night sort of thing. I would say, yeah, it's 235 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:42,320 Speaker 1: been you know, somewhere between two thirds to three fourths 236 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: of weeks. I have been traveling this spring, which is great, 237 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: like in the sense of my business is growing. The 238 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 1: demand for my speaking services has never been higher. It 239 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 1: is wonderful. I love. That's fantastic. And you're doing a 240 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: lot of corporate a lot of corporate work. Also a 241 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:02,839 Speaker 1: lot of conferences too. But a production company is doing 242 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: a big conference and you know they're looking for a 243 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: speaker on productivity, time management. You know, you wind up 244 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: getting a certain number of these gigs too, and those 245 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: are a lot of fun. But the corporate ones are fine, 246 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 1: and I feel like it's a good service and you're 247 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 1: helping people feel like they can make life and you 248 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: know work. But they have to be there, and they're 249 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: generally not you know, they don't have a bar, they 250 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 1: don't have you know, like whereas some of these conferences, 251 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, everyone wanted to be there. Everyone 252 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 1: who's in your session wanted to be in your session. 253 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: Often you know, people have been having fun, they're they're networking, 254 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: they're you know, they're with their buds. It's just a 255 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: different vibe. And especially women's conferences. You know, I think 256 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 1: my my material obviously, everyone is working on trying to 257 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: make the pieces of work in life put together and 258 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 1: do better things with their time. But for whatever reason, 259 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: I think we feel all female or it's like seventy 260 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: five percent plus female audiences tend to have a very 261 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,240 Speaker 1: different vibe with my material than when I'm like speaking 262 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: to a room of sales guys. Uh yeah, they're like, wait, 263 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,439 Speaker 1: what do you mean I can I mean, of course 264 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:06,959 Speaker 1: I can golf on the weekend. Why was that ever 265 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: a question? So oh wow, well the mixed It might 266 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: be beneficial though, for those mixed audiences, because you're probably 267 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 1: those are probably actually really useful for the society at lot, 268 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: because then the men may start to hear, oh, like, 269 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: these are things that I don't think about, kind of 270 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: like Tiffany do food. You know, when they wrote all 271 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 1: the chores that they did, you don't think about the 272 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: things that you don't do. Oh my gosh. So that's awesome. Okay, 273 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 1: So lots of conferences, lots of corporate travel once a week. 274 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: I didn't realize this that much. And then your husband, 275 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: he probably, I mean, he also would travel. I mean 276 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,440 Speaker 1: pretty much it's been every week. So if I'm somewhere 277 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: between two thirds and three quarters a week, he's I 278 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: would say, not. He's often going internationally internationally, and they're 279 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: often slightly longer trips, so it's generally from him. It's 280 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,079 Speaker 1: not one night, it would be two or three, and 281 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:56,720 Speaker 1: so yeah, it's uh. Now, the good news for that 282 00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:00,839 Speaker 1: is he doesn't have the same sort of because he's 283 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: been doing it so long. I think he doesn't have 284 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: the same stories he's telling himself about, you know, international 285 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: travel that a lot of other people would like to him. 286 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,840 Speaker 1: You know, coming back from two days in like London 287 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:16,079 Speaker 1: and plunging right back into normal life is just what 288 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 1: you do. It's what you do. And so I've had 289 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,040 Speaker 1: people right now like, oh, well, you know, it'd be 290 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 1: chaotic for us because once somebody comes back from international travel, 291 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 1: they're useless for two days, and well, okay, that does 292 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 1: you can't do that, like that won't fly. So oh 293 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: well that that segues us beautifully into myth number one. 294 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 1: So I love this because I was like, well, you know, 295 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 1: we'll talk about the logistics of this, and Sarah was like, ooh, 296 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: let's organize it into the myths. So she has this 297 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: great like five myths of you know, two travel job couples. 298 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: So we're going to yes, So myth number one, yes, 299 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,520 Speaker 1: this is, this is this is a clickbait format for 300 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 1: you all. We'll have to you have to let us 301 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: know what you think. Myth number one is it's too 302 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: complicated and crazy. So as it now. I mean we're here, 303 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 1: life is good. I mean, our kids are thriving, our 304 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: careers are both going great. So I mean I think 305 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,040 Speaker 1: it's fine. But don't tell yourself the story that it's 306 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 1: going to be crazy. If you travel for your job, 307 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 1: that does not mean you need a spouse who stays 308 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: home with your kids. It doesn't even mean that you 309 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,200 Speaker 1: need a spouse who doesn't travel. It is logistically complex. 310 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 1: I will give you that. I would say it's actually 311 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: I like to use this circus metaphor and people say, oh, 312 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: life is a circus to sound crazy. If you think 313 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: about it, there is nothing chaotic about a circus. It 314 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: is absolutely well choreographed. It is everything happens exactly when 315 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 1: it's supposed to happen. There are contingency plans in place 316 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 1: for anything that might go wrong. It is well rehearsed. 317 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: People know their jobs, they know exactly where they're supposed 318 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: to be. Like, nobody gets shot out of canon at 319 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 1: the wrong time, right, Like this is the reactions meticulously organized, organized, planned, 320 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 1: and it works. Not just that everything goes perfectly, but 321 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: you've also thought through what can go wrong and made 322 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: plans for that. I think that is the key thing 323 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 1: that that people find problematic. But you know, so many 324 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 1: moving parts not chaotic. It is definitely doable if you 325 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: want to make it doable. Now, if you don't want to, 326 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 1: then of course you can tell yourself a story that 327 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 1: it's chaotic, and you can certainly find moments where like, 328 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: oh no, like, you know, we had one where I 329 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: was I was in Tacoma, my husband was in Geneva, 330 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 1: and we get the call from the school that by 331 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 1: the way, there's a snowstorm coming in. You know, somebody 332 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: needs to come pick up your kids. Oh yeah, that 333 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: was kind of a crazy story. But everyone's fine. But 334 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 1: if you can, if you can get your heads around 335 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,040 Speaker 1: that and have a plan for that, then you'll be fine, like, 336 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 1: because that's pretty much the extent of what will happen 337 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 1: is that one of you will be you know, suck 338 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 1: somewhere or both of you and we'll talk about more 339 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 1: logistics stuff with myth three's around on our no, no, no, no, 340 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 1: this is good. Okay, so myth too, you will never 341 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: see your kids and add to that, therefore the kids 342 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: will you know, suffer in some way and not get Yeah, 343 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 1: I always wondering about choice and have a happy life. 344 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: I mean, first, it's not true, but also I don't 345 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: think anyone would ever say that to like if you're 346 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: you know, have a family where your mother or father 347 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 1: is deployed, right, Like do people sit there and you know, 348 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 1: tell that soldier like god, you're ruining your kids, Like 349 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,919 Speaker 1: how horrible, terrible, You're awful. Like people don't say that, 350 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 1: like they you know, and not that travel jobs or 351 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,440 Speaker 1: anything like you know, serving your country. But the fact 352 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,479 Speaker 1: is you're still not there, and yet kids deal with 353 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: it like they understand there's a reason for it, and 354 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 1: you know, there may be downsides to it too, but 355 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 1: you know, people understand that and the kids thrive. I mean, 356 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,199 Speaker 1: you know, I've met a lot of military families and 357 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: the kids are great. So you know, I at first, yes, okay, 358 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 1: like your kids will be fine even if you are 359 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,439 Speaker 1: not there. However, you probably are there more than you 360 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,680 Speaker 1: think you are. You know, I was saying, I travel office, 361 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: you know, one or two nights a week, which just 362 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 1: means you're gone two or three days. There are seven 363 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: days in a week, so if you're gone to you're 364 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 1: home five. If you're gone three, you're home four. You know, 365 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 1: the people I have seen who traveled sort of the 366 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:12,120 Speaker 1: most intensely. If you think about maybe like consultants, for instance, 367 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:16,199 Speaker 1: in the early days of their jobs, you're often at 368 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,400 Speaker 1: the client Monday through Thursday. That would be a sort 369 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,119 Speaker 1: of typical thing. You leave early Monday morning, you come 370 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 1: back Thursday night. That means you're gone three nights a week. 371 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,199 Speaker 1: If you're doing that forty weeks a year, which is 372 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 1: not atypical because there's weeks you're not traveling for various reasons, 373 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 1: you're not staffed on something, there's you know, a shorter 374 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,880 Speaker 1: week you're at something else, like you're in a local project. 375 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 1: If you did that forty weeks a year, that is 376 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty nights one hundred twenty nights is 377 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 1: one third of three hundred and sixty five right, So 378 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: often people are like, oh, I'm at the client Monday 379 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: through Thursday, I'm always traveling. Well, you're not. It is 380 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: one third of your nights, right, Monday through end of 381 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 1: day Thursday is about half the week. So you know, 382 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: that's that's something to keep in mind, even like some 383 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: of the you know, I've talked to people who are 384 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,359 Speaker 1: like again, top sales people for something, they're on the 385 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: road all the time and their territory, but it's not 386 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 1: all the time, like they count the number of hotel 387 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 1: stays they've had and because they have you know, great 388 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: status in their hotels, and it will be in the 389 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 1: one hundred and twenty night range, which is a third 390 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 1: of the year. So it may be less than you 391 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,120 Speaker 1: think it is. And many sometimes those jobs also come 392 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: with a little bit I don't know if this is 393 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: always true, but a little bit more relaxation on the 394 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,920 Speaker 1: Friday too, because your week was really Monday through Thursday. 395 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:28,440 Speaker 1: And maybe maybe there's a little bit of a flip 396 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 1: side where yeah, and I've seen this in some of 397 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 1: the I mean, I did a project for a consulting firm. 398 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 1: I gave a speech for them, and I got to 399 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,480 Speaker 1: see some time logs, and yeah, it was pretty much 400 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: they were Monday through Thursday at the client, but then 401 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: Friday it was understood you could like work from home, 402 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,680 Speaker 1: and you know, in some cases the working was we 403 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,479 Speaker 1: could put quote marks around. You know, there was there 404 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,880 Speaker 1: was a lot of not working time too write, which 405 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 1: is fine because again, if you've already brought with you 406 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 1: five and ten hours and very great like turn in 407 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: your expenses, think about what the up week is, but 408 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,920 Speaker 1: enjoy your time off. And you know, from from my present, 409 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 1: obviously it'd be better if you could officially take the 410 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,960 Speaker 1: time off and so people would know to relax, and 411 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: so you don't have that thing of some people not 412 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:14,640 Speaker 1: knowing that you can, but a lot of people do 413 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,400 Speaker 1: in that situation. And you know, with with our travels, 414 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: so if i'm you know, if my husband's gone say 415 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 1: two nights, and I was gone one, you know, often 416 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 1: we'd wind up. You know, that means I'm here six 417 00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:28,879 Speaker 1: nights of the week, then there's one more night that 418 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 1: my husband isn't there, or even if it's a bigger 419 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,760 Speaker 1: week where you know, I'm gone to my husband's gone three. 420 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: Often those are overlapping, so that means parents are home 421 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,920 Speaker 1: four to five nights of the week. You wind up 422 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: still if you're gone, you may be home more than 423 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: you think you do. So you know, if you're pondering 424 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,360 Speaker 1: whether it's crazy or chaotic or doable, you know, try 425 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 1: tracking your time, try seeing exactly how much it is 426 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 1: you are gone. Okay, so myth number three is a 427 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 1: I think, very very important one. You should only get 428 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 1: as much child care as you absolutely need, and you're 429 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,400 Speaker 1: never going to find caregivers who want to work overnight. Okay, 430 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 1: it's a double miss double myth. Well, we had to 431 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 1: have an odd number because you know, the one thing 432 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 1: we know about our myth lists is that you need 433 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,479 Speaker 1: an odd number for blogging. No, I think this is 434 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: this is the key, right though. If if you have 435 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 1: extended family who lives near you, that is awesome. That 436 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,479 Speaker 1: is one thing that you know people understand might make 437 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 1: it more doable because you know, if you are both 438 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: delayed in your flights, maybe you know Grandma or your 439 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 1: aunt or your cousin or whatever can come over and stay, like, 440 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 1: can do the daycare pickup and then go, you know, 441 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 1: stay overnight if that was necessary, But you probably don't 442 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,880 Speaker 1: want to be relying on like daycare with set pickup 443 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 1: times if both of you are going to have some 444 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: unpredictability with the schedule and with with travel and so 445 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: you know, having a person is often more doable than 446 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 1: you know, a daycare where you can only have eight 447 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,160 Speaker 1: to six and you're trusting that one of you will 448 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,959 Speaker 1: have gotten back from the airport before that, so much 449 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,919 Speaker 1: that can go wrong with that. So yeah, we you know, 450 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:09,159 Speaker 1: what we have is our nanny is definitely able to 451 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,439 Speaker 1: stay overnight, and we when we had the discussion of 452 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,119 Speaker 1: hiring that was that was part of it. One of 453 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,720 Speaker 1: the things we did is that you know, the original 454 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 1: job posting because we had another person already for Fridays 455 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,880 Speaker 1: as a part time job. The way it had wound 456 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 1: up being split is that you know, the job was 457 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 1: going to be eight to eight Monday through Thursday. So 458 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 1: that's forty eight hours. So that's actually well within the 459 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaker 1: normal sort of nanny range of forty five to fifty 460 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 1: hours a week. And but the thing of having at 461 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: eight to eight is that when you know somebody who's 462 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,600 Speaker 1: working until eight pm. I mean, first we got the 463 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: evening coverage, which was awesome, you know, with all our 464 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 1: activities and with four kids and then trying to do 465 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,680 Speaker 1: multiple bedtimes and stuff like that. But somebody who's working 466 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 1: till eight doesn't have an evening activity that they are 467 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 1: then going to have to jettison if you ask them 468 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 1: to stay overnight, right, and so that is key. Like 469 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 1: somebody who's working till five thirty, they probably have built 470 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 1: their evenings around you know, so having you know, eight 471 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,960 Speaker 1: to five thirty Monday through Friday would be the same 472 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 1: number of hours as eight to eight Monday through Thursday. 473 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 1: But it wouldn't work in terms of, you know, constantly 474 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 1: having to ask and feel like you were making a 475 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:14,720 Speaker 1: bigger demand because staying then over from eight to eight 476 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 1: eight pm to eight am, it's just well, you know, 477 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:18,920 Speaker 1: then you just stay. Wasn't that you were going to 478 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 1: go out and do something else with your evening? Uh? 479 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,919 Speaker 1: You know, negotiate a regular rate, you know, what is 480 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 1: what is the going rate for overnight? You figure out 481 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: what it is, right because you don't necessarily pay by 482 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,919 Speaker 1: the hour when everyone's asleep. Yeah, most people are willing 483 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 1: to you know, chunk it into one overnight type of 484 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: a fee figure out what that is negotiable. Obviously, the 485 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 1: person needs somewhere to stay, like they need a bedroom, 486 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,199 Speaker 1: So if you are crammed in, this is not going 487 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: to work. But you know they need a bedroom ideally 488 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,880 Speaker 1: private bathroom too. You know, people have to ask about 489 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: the O pair room and we've we've talked about, you know, 490 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,280 Speaker 1: O pairs on this podcast a lot. In terms of 491 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,880 Speaker 1: childcare options, most of the agencies as part of your 492 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,399 Speaker 1: sponsoring the visa, you are not supposed to leave the 493 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,920 Speaker 1: children overnight with the O pair. The uh, there's one 494 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 1: or two agencies that people have told me about that 495 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,159 Speaker 1: you can't. But it then counts towards your forty five hours. 496 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,639 Speaker 1: So that clearly is not going to work. If you 497 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 1: you know, you have them stay overnight two nights of 498 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 1: a week, that would be your forty five hours right there. 499 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: It could if you had like an O pair, And 500 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,359 Speaker 1: in some families, honestly, like that's not a you know, 501 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,439 Speaker 1: in a large family with two intense jobs, that's not right. 502 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,159 Speaker 1: And I would also stress that for most families, like 503 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,080 Speaker 1: anytime you start going over fifty hours, you might consider 504 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: going to two as opposed to one person who's doing 505 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 1: a lot of overtime. If if that person is excited 506 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 1: about getting a lot of overtime and is like, yes, 507 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,639 Speaker 1: I want this great, awesome, that's one thing. If it 508 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 1: is a person who is a little bit more unclear 509 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,320 Speaker 1: about that, you might want to just you know, guard 510 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:57,239 Speaker 1: against the burnout cap it closer to fifty and go 511 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 1: ahead and hire a second, you know, part time person 512 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 1: or if you needed full time I guess you know, 513 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,359 Speaker 1: if you need a week at hours too, they could 514 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,840 Speaker 1: make that happen. Do do full time you know people, 515 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,680 Speaker 1: which obviously we get you know, comments on that. You've 516 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 1: seen comments on my blog all the time about this 517 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: of like, oh, you know, most people can't hire, which 518 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 1: is true, which is totally true. But if we're talking, 519 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: you know, to people who are in these sorts of jobs, 520 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,919 Speaker 1: which are you know, regular travel jobs, they tend to 521 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 1: be compensated more because of the nature of the job 522 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 1: and so this may just be an expense that you 523 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,719 Speaker 1: have as as part of having say a bigger family 524 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:40,399 Speaker 1: and two jobs like this. Okay, myth number four. Shared 525 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: calendars and planning meetings are so unromantic. Yeah, we don't 526 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 1: have a shared calendar, we just but we do our 527 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,240 Speaker 1: planning meetings, we try to relatively regularly to make sure 528 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 1: that our uh stuff is on each other's calendar. So 529 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 1: my husband doesn't know everything ahead of time, but he 530 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,800 Speaker 1: has been much better about making sure that by the 531 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 1: weekend at least we know what his schedule looks like 532 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 1: for the upcoming week. My stuff tends to be more 533 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,360 Speaker 1: planned in advance. So this is one thing. I mean, 534 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,919 Speaker 1: if it's too completely unpredictable that you know schedules, that 535 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: that's going to require a few different layers of back. 536 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 1: You'd have to have a lot of built in flexibility 537 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,679 Speaker 1: on your caregiving. However, if for my case, you know, 538 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 1: people have hired their conference speaker, like at least two 539 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: months ahead of time, so I tend to know my 540 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: dates and so we have them on my calendar. We 541 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,560 Speaker 1: have a nanny's calendar, my husband's calendar, and and so 542 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 1: we know what's what's coming up, and so she's generally 543 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 1: flagged those as like those could be overnights and then 544 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,119 Speaker 1: you know, double chat going into the week. You know, 545 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,560 Speaker 1: once we're clear on my husband's schedule, like are they 546 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:47,880 Speaker 1: or are they not? And and so you know you 547 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: want to have these you also need to there are 548 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 1: certain events that, like, you probably want to have a 549 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 1: parent therefore at least one you know, maybe sometimes two. 550 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 1: But if you're both traveling, you've got to figure out, 551 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 1: you know, is it possible for one of you to 552 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: be home then and not. So we've so went For instance, 553 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 1: my h we've been trading off with my eleven year 554 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,360 Speaker 1: old's like theater camp productions, So he's had one every 555 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 1: other Thursday. So I went to one, and then we 556 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 1: arranged all the schedules so that my husband was at 557 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,639 Speaker 1: the other one because I was out of town. But 558 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 1: you know, you want to know that my pet peeve 559 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,919 Speaker 1: is when those things don't give you enough notice, I 560 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,640 Speaker 1: will that's a complaint to the world because it's such 561 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 1: a slap in the face to people who work like 562 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,920 Speaker 1: I'm constantly getting Oh, like Cameron, he has a show 563 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 1: next Thursday. I'm like, well, should have told me the 564 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,719 Speaker 1: beginning of camp, like I. So anyway, if you can 565 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: encourage your schools or whatever, if anybody's listening that does 566 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,360 Speaker 1: this kind of thing, please tell us all in advance, 567 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 1: because we want to be there. But yeah, I can't 568 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: always make it happen. You can't always make it heaven. 569 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 1: I think you also need to dial down, like, you know, 570 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: you don't have to be at everything anyway. They're true, 571 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 1: especially if I mean these we've been trying to be 572 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:58,640 Speaker 1: but we also had this discussion with the eleven year old. 573 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 1: It's possible that that's next one neither of us might 574 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 1: be available for or like we have been to three 575 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,520 Speaker 1: of these already, so you know, and you have someone 576 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 1: video and then I'll watch it together later and yeah, 577 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:15,159 Speaker 1: so this is there's this whole story in you know, 578 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 1: the literature on women working, like oh yes, x because 579 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 1: I was working and therefore life is crazy and terrible 580 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,160 Speaker 1: and horrible and the honest you people miss stuff anyways. 581 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,879 Speaker 1: I mean people miss a sporting event because another kid 582 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 1: has an event at the same time. I mean, you 583 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,359 Speaker 1: can miss a kid's production because your grandmother is suddenly 584 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,640 Speaker 1: rushed to the hospital. I did. I miss Anabel's first 585 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 1: school thing because I was having Jennies. Everyone would consider 586 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: that acceptable that you missed there you go giving birth 587 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 1: in the back of the auditoriums, you know, because you're 588 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 1: trying to be the perfect mom. But you know, yeah, 589 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: there's reasons people miss stuff, and sometimes it has nothing 590 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 1: to do with work, and sometimes it does, but you know, 591 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 1: the outcome is still the same, that you're not there, 592 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: And so it's important to recognize that, you know, you'll 593 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 1: be at some things, you won't be at everything. There 594 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 1: are you know, stay at home parents who are also 595 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,239 Speaker 1: not at everything. So you know, I think that's an 596 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 1: impossible standard to hold. That could have been myth number six, 597 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: but that's okay. But yes, this shared I mean getting 598 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: on the same page, whether it's an email, a weekly discussion. 599 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 1: We also use Google calendar as well. It's something we've 600 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: started doing since this podcast I think was born. And 601 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,600 Speaker 1: uh yeah, really like looking at those logistics in a 602 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 1: purposeful manner might not be romantic, but it certainly helps 603 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 1: keep our relationship healthy and which leads to more romance 604 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 1: later on. And if you use those planning meetings to 605 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 1: do stuff like get fun stuff on the calendar, to 606 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,320 Speaker 1: say that, oh, I you know, Brad Paisley has a 607 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: concert coming up, let's get tickets to it, and oh, 608 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 1: let's make sure we have a sitter for that night, 609 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 1: and then you have a date night on the calendar. Absolutely, 610 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: and so then it's not just about like who's going 611 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 1: to be here for the theater camp production on Thursday night, 612 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 1: which yes, can occasionally get a bit not always the 613 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 1: funnest conversation most fun Okay, well, speaking of friends number five, 614 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 1: being on the road has to be miserable, so obviously 615 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 1: it can be. Not all travel is is awesome. You 616 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 1: did experience a tornado? I did, Oh my goodness. So 617 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 1: I was speaking in Springfield, Missouri and having a lovely 618 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 1: time and the host did a great job. I also 619 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 1: the conference was was beautiful. THISIZ four seventeen magazine there 620 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,080 Speaker 1: in Springfield, Missouri, had a women's conference called Ladies Who Launch. 621 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,800 Speaker 1: Three hundred sold out, you know, crowd, well dressed ladies, 622 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 1: all enjoying themselves, having a grand all time. Great. Afterwards, 623 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: you know, we're supposed to a reception outside. I was 624 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: signing books and I noticed they packed up my books. Say, 625 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 1: oh that's interesting. There were storm clouds gathering, but you know, 626 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:49,600 Speaker 1: it was holding off. So we went outside and I 627 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: was signing books and people having you know, their rose 628 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,880 Speaker 1: good old time, and I went off to Then I 629 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,080 Speaker 1: had dinner plans with two people who read my blog. 630 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 1: It was great, you know, they'd reached out, like I 631 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,479 Speaker 1: didn't want to meet up with them. Yeah, it's awesome. 632 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: Uh So I was in one of their cars and 633 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, like the gust of wind across 634 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 1: the road just like almost blew us off the road, 635 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: like debris flying everywhere. And she heard something she rolled 636 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 1: down the wind. She's like, oh, that's the tornado siren. 637 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,000 Speaker 1: So you know, they take this very seriously in Missouri, 638 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 1: as they should. I read plenty of news articles of 639 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: like horrible tornadoes in that area. And so we made 640 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: our way to McDonald's. Staff had us, you know, blockaded 641 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,000 Speaker 1: in the bathroom for a while, and you know, I 642 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,959 Speaker 1: was in. We were fine, we were safe. So that 643 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,360 Speaker 1: was that was a less fun. But you have a 644 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,920 Speaker 1: lot of super You have a lot of really lovely 645 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 1: adventures too, and and that's you know it. So travel 646 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 1: can be fun. And some of work travel is, you know, 647 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,600 Speaker 1: here in a Hilton garden in somewhere in the middle 648 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,840 Speaker 1: of Ohio where there's nothing around you for twenty miles 649 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:57,120 Speaker 1: except that corporate office park that you just visited. Yeah, 650 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 1: but then you can hide in your hotel room with 651 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,400 Speaker 1: a glass and wine and read a book that sounds 652 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 1: amazing and nobody is bothering you, which is because there's 653 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 1: nobody around for twenty miles and so yeah, that could 654 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 1: be that could be awesome too. Yeah, and or late flights, 655 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 1: you know, they're second in airport for four hours. Also 656 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 1: not that is awesome. But you can also do great 657 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 1: things too. I mean, I always try to go run 658 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,720 Speaker 1: somewhere if i'm you know, and especially if you're in 659 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 1: really cool cities like Vancouver or San Francisco, you go 660 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,520 Speaker 1: run along the water and see, you know, the great 661 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 1: scenery that people are there as tourists to see, and 662 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:29,800 Speaker 1: you're there somebody's paying you to be there, which is 663 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 1: really awesome. And you know, meeting up with people, you know, 664 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 1: I certainly, you know, love to get together with people, 665 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: and I'm visiting different cities, you know, people from college 666 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,760 Speaker 1: or from you know, past jobs or blog raaders, book craders. 667 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,560 Speaker 1: You know, I've met up with people in all sorts 668 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 1: of places, and that's that could be fun to do 669 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:52,320 Speaker 1: as well. I mean, you know, even if like depending 670 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: on your scolars, sometimes when you're in on the road, 671 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,640 Speaker 1: you're just going to work, work, work, so you get 672 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: it all done so you're have a reasonable life when 673 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 1: you're home. And that's great, but sometimes there's maybe a 674 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,120 Speaker 1: gap between say your last meeting and dinner, and that 675 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:03,800 Speaker 1: could be time that you might walk around the city. 676 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 1: Or if there's an art museum that's open till six, 677 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:07,960 Speaker 1: maybe you could stop in for an hour and see it. 678 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 1: You know, it can be fun to do these things. 679 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 1: And I say that, you know, work travel can actually 680 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 1: be a time to get a little bit of me 681 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 1: time in like a workout, you know, chat with friends 682 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 1: on the phone, you know, watch your shows, whatever it 683 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 1: is you want to do. Because especially if you are 684 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: trading off, for instance, with your partner, like you travel 685 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 1: while they're home, and then they travel a while you're home. 686 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,520 Speaker 1: Like the person who's been home with the kids is 687 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 1: gonna want to hand them over to you, Like they're 688 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,960 Speaker 1: not going to be very excited about, like you then 689 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:40,120 Speaker 1: going doing something else the next night, yeah, or like 690 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,280 Speaker 1: wanting to take a marathon nap, even though you might 691 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,040 Speaker 1: want want me to plan your energy for that, because 692 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: probably they're not going to be very understanding about the nap, 693 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,320 Speaker 1: especially if they've been up with you because you because 694 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,960 Speaker 1: you have had a break from caregiving. You know, caregiving 695 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:58,400 Speaker 1: is physically and mentally hard, and when you're you know, 696 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,840 Speaker 1: across the coasts, there is a little bit of a 697 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 1: weightlifted there. You're like someone else is in charge and 698 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 1: I'm only in charge of myself, And so I do 699 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:10,240 Speaker 1: think that like fixating on that rather than maybe slightly 700 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,080 Speaker 1: uncomfortable conditions once in a while and the fact that, yes, 701 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: your flight's delayed, but like you don't have a baby. 702 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 1: That's like crying, I mean sounds nice. It sounds yeah, 703 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,319 Speaker 1: I mean, I know, I recognize there are challenges too, 704 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,480 Speaker 1: especially if you can't sleep or you can't get comfortable 705 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,200 Speaker 1: or whatever. But if you can sleep in your hotel, 706 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:29,960 Speaker 1: like do yourself a favorite go to bed, or like 707 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 1: catch up in your sleep while you're in the hotel, 708 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: like especially if you know, like my first meetings at nine, 709 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 1: I can wake up at seven thirty and be great, 710 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,319 Speaker 1: Like go to bed at ten thirty, so you get 711 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,279 Speaker 1: nine hours of sleep and uninterrupted like people aren't going 712 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,759 Speaker 1: to bug you. That is awesome, Like catch up on 713 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 1: your sleep, if you can read your books so you 714 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,160 Speaker 1: don't feel like if you need to do that as 715 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,440 Speaker 1: soon as you get home when your partner or you know, 716 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,960 Speaker 1: if you're also trying to let a caregiver who has 717 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,400 Speaker 1: been working over time you may want to let them 718 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 1: go a little or like right when you come home 719 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,759 Speaker 1: to to sort of you know, keep that goodwill up, 720 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,240 Speaker 1: but you need to be right and manage your energy 721 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,360 Speaker 1: to dive right back in. So you know, that's another 722 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,359 Speaker 1: thing to keep in mind. Awesome, Well, those that has 723 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 1: been our most realistical type episode ever. We're going to 724 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,040 Speaker 1: still get into our other segments, of course, but we 725 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 1: don't think it's complicated and crazy. We know you're going 726 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,360 Speaker 1: to see your kids. You should get layers upon layers 727 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,800 Speaker 1: of childcare if you can. Sharing calendars and planning is essential, 728 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 1: and being on the road does not have to be miserable, 729 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,840 Speaker 1: and don't Yeah, your kids are resilient, They're going to 730 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,960 Speaker 1: be fine, and so don't talk yourself into some horrible 731 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:37,000 Speaker 1: guilt trip about it. So, yeah, can refer to the 732 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 1: mom Guild episode for more on that one. All right, 733 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,160 Speaker 1: and yes, here I'll read it because I'm going to 734 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: mostly let you answer it. Her name is X. We're 735 00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 1: going to keep her private, and she's a follower of 736 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,480 Speaker 1: us for two years and she's read all of Laura's 737 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,479 Speaker 1: books yay. And her question is she's a busy wife, mom, 738 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,600 Speaker 1: and business owner. She owns two construction companies with twenty 739 00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,759 Speaker 1: five employees, and her husband also works full time and 740 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 1: the two elementary age kids. She's decided she'd like to 741 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 1: revamp her work schedule, so she goes in early at 742 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 1: six thirty and leaves by two thirty so she can 743 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,160 Speaker 1: be home with her kids after school. Up until then, 744 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 1: she worked seven seven, eight to five to six with 745 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 1: an after school nanny to help with the kids. But 746 00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:16,879 Speaker 1: she tracked her time, which I think is really cool, 747 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,279 Speaker 1: and became more efficient, so she knows she can get 748 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,719 Speaker 1: her work done in eight hours per day. She occasionally 749 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: says she pulls the swing shift after at night, working 750 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:25,719 Speaker 1: a couple hours after the kid goes to bed, but 751 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,399 Speaker 1: that's occasional. She'd like to be home with her kids 752 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,480 Speaker 1: after school. She says, I want to hang out with them, 753 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 1: help with homework, make dinner, et cetera, instead of getting 754 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,440 Speaker 1: home at the witching hour when everyone is tired, hungry, 755 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 1: and ready for bed. But her issue is getting everyone 756 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,520 Speaker 1: at work on board with the new schedule. Her two 757 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,799 Speaker 1: business partners are both men and neither have families. They 758 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,480 Speaker 1: both put on very long hours, and she does note 759 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,480 Speaker 1: that a lot of that is idle time shit chatting 760 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,440 Speaker 1: and going to lunch, et cetera. She also has a 761 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,919 Speaker 1: staff of direct reports that are required to work until 762 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,719 Speaker 1: at least four to five pm. So how to get 763 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,080 Speaker 1: everyone on board with the new schedule, how does she 764 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,759 Speaker 1: sell it to them? And what can she say to 765 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,640 Speaker 1: justify the decision about feeling guilty? Before I let Laura 766 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,120 Speaker 1: address this, I just wanted to highlight that it's I 767 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:07,360 Speaker 1: love that she, you know, meticulously looked at what she 768 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 1: wants and what she'd like her week to look like. 769 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,120 Speaker 1: So I don't know if she did sort of an 770 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,120 Speaker 1: ideal weak exercise or not tracked your time and then 771 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 1: came up with this decision. Like I think she's done. 772 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:20,319 Speaker 1: I'm just very impressed with this question. And Laura has 773 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,600 Speaker 1: some great tips for her to try to make this work. Yeah, 774 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,680 Speaker 1: so we I mean the first thought, you know, she's 775 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:30,000 Speaker 1: somewhat assuming that her male business partners are going to 776 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 1: find this weird and strange. And I think we don't 777 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,480 Speaker 1: know that without them saying that, right, Like, we don't 778 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,520 Speaker 1: want to automatically read into the situation that because they 779 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:43,239 Speaker 1: are men who don't have kids, they will therefore not 780 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:47,520 Speaker 1: understand or not think that she's pulling her weight or something. 781 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,439 Speaker 1: I mean, for all you know, either they don't care, 782 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: or they might be welcoming of this because it's like, oh, well, 783 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,960 Speaker 1: we've wanted to discuss schedules too. I mean, maybe one 784 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,200 Speaker 1: of them wants to like train for a triathlon and 785 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 1: you know, do that in the morning and come in 786 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,480 Speaker 1: at ten o'clock and work till night or something. I mean, 787 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,799 Speaker 1: you don't know for sure without them saying it that 788 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,759 Speaker 1: they're going to be upset about it, right, So don't 789 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:11,919 Speaker 1: assume on that. I also suggested that she'd be very 790 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:16,440 Speaker 1: public about her personal business goals for the next three months, 791 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 1: in six months and a year and share those goals 792 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,760 Speaker 1: with her partners and the people who report to her, 793 00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 1: because that way she can document that she is meeting them, 794 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,640 Speaker 1: that she can document that she is exceeding them, and 795 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,839 Speaker 1: they think that will be helpful to her as well 796 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,800 Speaker 1: to say that, like, you know, even with this new schedule, 797 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,240 Speaker 1: I've still brought in you know, X new amount of business, 798 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,520 Speaker 1: which is what I said I would, or maybe I've 799 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,480 Speaker 1: even brought into X this amount of business, which is awesome. 800 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 1: And you know, if people see that and know what 801 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:45,040 Speaker 1: you were aiming for, like, the schedule becomes a lot 802 00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:49,400 Speaker 1: less important when that is happening. I think she you know, 803 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,880 Speaker 1: she talked about like the lunches, the happy hours and 804 00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 1: all that, and it's easy to say that that's like 805 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,400 Speaker 1: being idle and like wasting time on it, and I 806 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,799 Speaker 1: don't think that's true. And I see this. I talk 807 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:07,200 Speaker 1: to people who are in management. Those chit chats are 808 00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,960 Speaker 1: often where the real work of your business happens if 809 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,959 Speaker 1: you're managing people, if you are you know, thinking about 810 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,840 Speaker 1: their career trajectories, trying to keep them happy, trying to 811 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,319 Speaker 1: keep them learning and growing, and that's when you find 812 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,359 Speaker 1: out when there are problems, you kind of have to 813 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,960 Speaker 1: do some of that. So, you know, I suggested that 814 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 1: she might try doing you know, work later one night too, 815 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,240 Speaker 1: into those relaxed hours after that, when people are around 816 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:35,719 Speaker 1: and willing to sort of you know, stop by and 817 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,759 Speaker 1: have the casual chat or go to a happy hour 818 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,000 Speaker 1: maybe once every week or two, just so people see 819 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,359 Speaker 1: her doing it so you know that it's still there. 820 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,200 Speaker 1: She can also you know, maybe choose a night to 821 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,520 Speaker 1: be on email after the kids go to bed, so 822 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,359 Speaker 1: again people see that she's still doing the work. She's 823 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 1: not completely checked out after two thirty, which I mean, 824 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 1: on some level, why shouldn't you be checked out? But 825 00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,320 Speaker 1: you know, in this kind of business, it also helps 826 00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 1: for people to see that you are still there even 827 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:03,880 Speaker 1: if you're totally not there the rest of the time. 828 00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,440 Speaker 1: But those happy hours and lunches do have a purpose. 829 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,960 Speaker 1: I think she also, you know, one thing that she 830 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,480 Speaker 1: did mention like the people who are her direct reports 831 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 1: are required to be there until four or five, And 832 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:17,640 Speaker 1: I said, well, why is that? I mean, because I 833 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:21,480 Speaker 1: do think it is harder to sell your flexible schedule, 834 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,640 Speaker 1: you know, even if you own the place, which is true, 835 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: I mean, so on some well, she could do whatever 836 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,760 Speaker 1: she wants, But if you're trying to keep the people 837 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:32,160 Speaker 1: who work for you happy, which is actually something that 838 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:36,359 Speaker 1: people who are good managers are really really concerned about, 839 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:40,160 Speaker 1: would it be possible to introduce some flexibility for them 840 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,480 Speaker 1: as well? And maybe you know, there are reasons, like 841 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:45,960 Speaker 1: you know, somebody has to answer the phone until five o'clock, 842 00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:49,160 Speaker 1: right that you know, But could it be some flexibility 843 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,040 Speaker 1: of you shift around who that is, or maybe if 844 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,239 Speaker 1: there's other kinds of work that isn't so much like that, 845 00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,920 Speaker 1: maybe those people could have a little bit more flexibility 846 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:58,440 Speaker 1: in their time too. And there may be reasons it 847 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,839 Speaker 1: won't work, but if there is some and they may 848 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:02,480 Speaker 1: or may not, they may not want, you know, but 849 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,080 Speaker 1: but just the offer is kind of yeah, I could 850 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,640 Speaker 1: see how that would build a lot of She actually 851 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:13,399 Speaker 1: wrote back, did you see this? Yeah, we had sent 852 00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:16,920 Speaker 1: her this note with some of our thoughts, and she 853 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,120 Speaker 1: wrote back and you know, with her thoughts and what 854 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 1: we said. She said that, yeah, we were correct that 855 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,680 Speaker 1: we were saying. She was just assuming that her business 856 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:28,440 Speaker 1: partners would find her schedule change weird or unprofessional. But 857 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,040 Speaker 1: this isn't giving them the benefit of the doubt. I 858 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,319 Speaker 1: will be interested to see if their schedules become more 859 00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:36,680 Speaker 1: fluid as a result. She loved the advice about being 860 00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,200 Speaker 1: public about her business goals so that there would be 861 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,680 Speaker 1: accountability for that. And then she decided that actually, you know, 862 00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,360 Speaker 1: it wasn't that she needed to leave at two thirty 863 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,319 Speaker 1: every day, know if fans or uts about it, So 864 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,920 Speaker 1: she was actually going to do a slightly different schedule. 865 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 1: She decided that she wanted to stay until five thirty, 866 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,360 Speaker 1: you know, like one or two days a week officially, 867 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,840 Speaker 1: so that she's available to help shoulder the load that 868 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,879 Speaker 1: comes in during the late afternoon, but having those three 869 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,640 Speaker 1: days where she's home earlier would still be good. So 870 00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 1: you're thinking this one hundred and sixty eight hours, not 871 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:10,240 Speaker 1: twenty four in terms of this you know, shifted schedule. 872 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,680 Speaker 1: And she's also asked her team if anyone else is 873 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,000 Speaker 1: interested in a rotating schedule that would allow them to 874 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,319 Speaker 1: leave early a day or two each week. She says 875 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,320 Speaker 1: she hasn't actually received much feedback on it yet, so 876 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,239 Speaker 1: it's as you were saying, Sarah, maybe other people are 877 00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:26,239 Speaker 1: actually totally cool. Probably no one else that they're like, no, 878 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 1: I'm fine with by nine to five, thank you. That's 879 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,840 Speaker 1: that's good. But yeah, so that that was great. We 880 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,840 Speaker 1: love when we get to see the actual answer. Yes, 881 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:39,799 Speaker 1: and keep your questions coming please, We definitely you know, 882 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,160 Speaker 1: it's sometimes there's a delay, but we've addressed a lot 883 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,960 Speaker 1: of them that we've gotten and it's always so fun 884 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,800 Speaker 1: to hear from people in all different stages of their lives, 885 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,920 Speaker 1: from kids to post kids and in school or you know, 886 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,920 Speaker 1: thinking about a career change. We love to hear from 887 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,080 Speaker 1: you guys. All right, So love of the week, Sarah 888 00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:01,200 Speaker 1: What's Yours Mine is a little meta podcasts, I have 889 00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:02,880 Speaker 1: to give a shout out. I may have done that before, 890 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,719 Speaker 1: but you know, what I was on, As I mentioned, 891 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,080 Speaker 1: I was on call, which meant for me a lot 892 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:10,040 Speaker 1: of driving because I work like thirty forty minutes away 893 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,879 Speaker 1: depending on the day, and you know, usually that's four 894 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,520 Speaker 1: days a week for me, but this has been the 895 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,840 Speaker 1: past seven, so you know, normally I don't read, I 896 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:18,719 Speaker 1: don't listen to every podcast in my cue, but I 897 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,800 Speaker 1: did this past week, and I was just so grateful 898 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,480 Speaker 1: because it really does help that commute feel a lot 899 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,480 Speaker 1: more positive and fun for me. And I find that 900 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,600 Speaker 1: when I'm stressed, I have these sort of lighter podcasts 901 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,239 Speaker 1: that I go to, like the sort of more mom 902 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,200 Speaker 1: focused ones. I was listening to The Home Hour and 903 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,359 Speaker 1: then there's this fairly new but very popular new one 904 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,480 Speaker 1: called Forever thirty five that I'm loving that is about 905 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,680 Speaker 1: makeup and self care but a lot more. And then 906 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,239 Speaker 1: I was also listening to old favorites like Freakonomics and 907 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:47,719 Speaker 1: it just made me so happy. And I will say 908 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:49,719 Speaker 1: the app I use is called pod Cruncher, and I 909 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,960 Speaker 1: find it works a lot better than the podcast app 910 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,000 Speaker 1: that comes with the iPhone, and it's like three dollars. 911 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,200 Speaker 1: But it was a good purchase, all right, Well that's cool. Yeah, 912 00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:00,920 Speaker 1: Well my Love of the Week was more expensive than 913 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,960 Speaker 1: the three dollars. But I just ordered a bunch of 914 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:08,160 Speaker 1: new personalized stationary from Crane. It's says my name. I 915 00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:12,200 Speaker 1: ordered it with my name on it and with fancy envelopes. 916 00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:17,120 Speaker 1: So I brought a lot of it because the price 917 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,719 Speaker 1: goes down. Obviously, if they're once they're printing, you know, 918 00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:23,839 Speaker 1: your name on a piece of stationary, it doesn't really 919 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,920 Speaker 1: cost them that much more to print another one. So 920 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,759 Speaker 1: the more you order, the price per copy goes down 921 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,399 Speaker 1: a lot. And those for like thank you notes. For 922 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,400 Speaker 1: when I was mailing out copies of Off the Clock 923 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:39,280 Speaker 1: to various influencers before the book came out, I enclosed 924 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,919 Speaker 1: a note on my nice stationary. And I run out 925 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,840 Speaker 1: of my nice stationary because I've mailed off enough of 926 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,920 Speaker 1: these that it was time to get more. So I 927 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:51,560 Speaker 1: bought a bunch of this new fancy Laura Vandercam stationary 928 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,600 Speaker 1: and so but I'll have that for the next run 929 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:58,640 Speaker 1: around with Juliette School possibilities. In March, oh yeah, you 930 00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:01,279 Speaker 1: were thinking ahead. Perfect, all right, Well, this has been 931 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,640 Speaker 1: best of both worlds. This has been episode fifty two. 932 00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:08,040 Speaker 1: We have been mostly talking the logistics of couples where 933 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:11,080 Speaker 1: both parties travel, but you know, talking about call as well, 934 00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:13,680 Speaker 1: and then talking about in our Q and A. This 935 00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:16,719 Speaker 1: has all been about people with sort of intense job schedules. 936 00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:20,080 Speaker 1: Of our lady who owns the construction company and wants 937 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,200 Speaker 1: to have a shifted schedule, but you know, talking about 938 00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:24,799 Speaker 1: how to sell that to her business partners and to 939 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:28,920 Speaker 1: her employees. So anyway, please tune in next week for 940 00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:35,800 Speaker 1: more on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. 941 00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:39,120 Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 942 00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:43,040 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can 943 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:47,319 Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has 944 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,600 Speaker 1: been the best of both Worlds podcasts. Please join us 945 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,640 Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work 946 00:45:53,680 --> 00:46:08,000 Speaker 1: together too. A boy