1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, sex, parenting, dating, work and more. Please 3 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:13,240 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and click 4 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:17,160 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live 5 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're gonna read this one 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,480 Speaker 1: right here. Huh, right now today? Yes, right, buckle up, 7 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,080 Speaker 1: hold on tight, We got it for you here. It 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter subject. She gave him exactly what 9 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: he wanted. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been with my boyfriend 10 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: for eleven years, and he's eleven years younger than I am. 11 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: When we met, I had two children from a previous marriage, 12 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: and he said he always wanted to have his own 13 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,840 Speaker 1: child with me. Well, we never got around to having 14 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: children together, and now I can't have kids. I suspected 15 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: that women his age would eventually get his attention, but 16 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 1: I never expected him to cheat on me. Multiple times 17 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: I caught him texting and calling a female and he lied. 18 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 1: I call a young woman to talk to her. She 19 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 1: told me that she has a newborn baby only four 20 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: days old, and it's my boyfriend's child. My boyfriend admitted 21 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: to having sex with her but said he wanted a 22 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,839 Speaker 1: paternity test as soon as she and the baby could 23 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,479 Speaker 1: take one. Well, we found out that it is his baby, 24 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 1: and now I have to figure out how to make 25 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: this child part of our family. My boyfriend is overjoyed 26 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: that he has a son. Finally, I'm jealous for two reasons. 27 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: First because he cheated and the woman is beautiful and 28 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: has her own business, and she's been nothing but respectful 29 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 1: to me because she didn't know about me. I'm also 30 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: jealous because he has a son, and I know that 31 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: this bond with the baby may be stronger than what 32 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: we have. I did not feel good in the beginning 33 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: about dating a much younger man, but I could not 34 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: help who I fell in love with. My boyfriend keeps 35 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: trying to reassure me that the baby doesn't change how 36 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: he feels about me. He has asked me to marry 37 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: him him and I told him yes, but I feel 38 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: like I'd be in the way of a great life 39 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: he could have with the baby and the baby's mom. 40 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: I feel like the best thing would be to let 41 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: him go, but at times I want to be selfish 42 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: and keep him for myself. What should I do? Wow? Now, yeah, now, 43 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: didn't you just say that he cheated on you, not one, 44 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: not two, but multiple times, and he has a baby 45 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: with another woman, a baby that now you can't give 46 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: him the whole paternity test thing that was a joke. 47 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 1: I mean, he knew that baby was his all along. 48 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: He knew it. He wanted to wait until the baby 49 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: and the mama could take it. Yeah, he already knew. 50 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: And please do not make excuses for him. This has 51 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: nothing to do with your eleven year age difference. Don't 52 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: don't do that to yourself because you've been with him 53 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: for eleven years. This is just a no good, cheating 54 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: guy you have on your hands. I mean, after eleven years, 55 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: he's just now asking you to marry him. Get out 56 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: of here with that one. Why now? Could it be 57 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: because he cheated and got caught. Now there's a baby 58 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: involved in all of that, and you said that you 59 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 1: got to figure out how to make the baby a 60 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: part of your family. That is really sweet of you. 61 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 1: I mean, you know you're a good woman here. I 62 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 1: just you know, I think you're better off without him, Okay, 63 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,399 Speaker 1: I just think that I don't think you should wait 64 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: for him to let you go, like you said in 65 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: the letter, I think you should let him go and 66 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: move on with your life. I think you can do 67 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: way better. That's what I think. This guy's no good. 68 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: He's a cheater and he's done it multiple times. Leave him, Steve. 69 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: I see a very delusional letter here. The subject. She 70 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: gave him exactly what he wanted. You've been with your 71 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: boyfriend for eleven years. Who is somebody? Boyfriend and girlfriend 72 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: for eleven years, and he's eleven years younger than I am. 73 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: What that's when we met. I had two children from 74 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: previous marriage. He said they always wanted to have his 75 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: own child with me. He said that, well, you had 76 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: eleven years to work it out, but you never got 77 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 1: around to having kids together, and now you can't have kids. 78 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: So let's say I don't know you forty five, maybe 79 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 1: he thirty six. I'm thinking somewhere in now or fifty, 80 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, and I suspected and now he would 81 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: listen to me. We never got around to having children together. 82 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:53,159 Speaker 1: Y'all never got around to getting married together. Y'all never 83 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: got around to defining y'all's relationship. Now you can't have kids. 84 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 1: And I suspected that women in his age would eventually 85 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: get his attention. Well, the law of attraction works, and 86 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: that's what it happened. But I never expected him to 87 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: cheat on me multiple times. One was cool, but you 88 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 1: didn't expect a lot of times. Then you called him 89 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: texting and calling the female. So when he lied, you 90 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: called the young woman to talk to her. Now you 91 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 1: keep calling all these women young and all this hell. 92 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,039 Speaker 1: She told me she has a new born baby, only 93 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: four days old, and it's your boyfriend's child. Then the 94 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: dude told you he's having sex with him, but said 95 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: he wanted a paternity tests as soon as she and 96 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: the baby could take one, as soon as her innovator. 97 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: You just need one person, now, he don't need both 98 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: of them. Got to greet it this. What can the 99 00:05:53,839 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: baby say? All right? I mean really you know four 100 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: days after yeah, stop that, shut up, just cotton in 101 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: your mouth, pee on this stick. Boy. Well, we found 102 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: out that it's his baby, and this line just came 103 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: out of nowhere. And now I have to figure out 104 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:26,239 Speaker 1: how to make this child part of our family. What family, lady, 105 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: what family are you talking about? You ain't got no family, 106 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:37,600 Speaker 1: that ain't your husband. Yep, No, I got to figure 107 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,480 Speaker 1: out how to make this child part of our family. 108 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 1: I'll come back, I get you. There was all right. 109 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,159 Speaker 1: Part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three 110 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject. She gave 111 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: him exactly what he wanted. We'll get back into it 112 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening show, All right, Steve, come on, 113 00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters subject. She gave him a 114 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 1: exactly what he wanted. This lady got this boyfriend. They've 115 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: been dating for eleven years. He eleven years younger than 116 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: she is. She got two kids from previous marriage, but 117 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: he told her you always want to have a child 118 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: with her. They never got around to having children together 119 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: because they ain't really had no relationship, and now she 120 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: too old and had kids. Then I suspected that women 121 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: his age will eventually get his attention. That ain't that 122 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: they had his attention back when you first got married though. 123 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: Now I ain't married David, but I never expected him 124 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: cheat on me multiple times, you know, one or two 125 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: times maybe, but not all the damn time. And then 126 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: I called him texting and calling this girl. So when 127 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: he lied, said, now I ain't talking to him, you 128 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: call a young woman talked to him. She told me 129 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 1: she got a newborn baby four days old, and it's 130 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: your boyfriend's baby. Then your boyfriend turned around and said, yeah, 131 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: I had sex with him, but I want the paternity 132 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 1: tests as soon as the she and the baby can 133 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: take one. No, no, dog, listen to me. You don't 134 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: the paternity tests with the baby. You don't see one 135 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 1: thing about you know it's her baby. We all know 136 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: that it's her baby. It's hup. Your your girlfriend, your 137 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: old ass girlfriend that you live with, call huck and 138 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 1: got the number from your phone. It's hup. We don't 139 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: need a paternity test for her. It's the baby. See, 140 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: everybody know her. She the one told everybody that the 141 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: baby was yours. So now you got the paternity test. 142 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:48,679 Speaker 1: It's your damn baby now, the lady said, once we 143 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: find out that it's his baby, now I got to 144 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: figure out how to make this child a part of 145 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: our family. What family you talking about? You don't have. 146 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 1: I have a family. Your family is them two kids. 147 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: This dude that's eleven years younger than you, he creating 148 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,079 Speaker 1: another family somewhere else. Now, it's gonna mess your children 149 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: up when they don't seem no more, But you gotta 150 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 1: tell him he got another family somewhere. Now, your boyfriend 151 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 1: is overjoyed that he finally has a son. And I'm 152 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:26,199 Speaker 1: jealous for two reasons. First cause he cheated, Okay, so 153 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:30,320 Speaker 1: you just jealous about that. And the woman is beautiful 154 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 1: and has her own business, and she has been nothing 155 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: but respectful to me because she didn't know about me, 156 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: so he didn't lie to everybody. Do y'all live together? 157 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,080 Speaker 1: Do you get that in this letter that they live together? 158 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: Her and the boyfriend? Yeah? I think they do live 159 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: together because she's been with him for eleven years. Yeah, 160 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:57,679 Speaker 1: then't really mean they live because she ain't know nothing 161 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 1: about this woman? So how you living that call and 162 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 1: talking where they're going? So now now I'm jealous. Caused 163 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,119 Speaker 1: the sun, and I know that this bond with the baby, 164 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 1: he's stronger than what we have. You keep talking about 165 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:17,959 Speaker 1: what y'all got? What are you talking about? Yes, the 166 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: baby's bond is gonna be stronger than the one you got. 167 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,679 Speaker 1: He loved a baby. Now he overjoyed. He ain't overjoyed 168 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 1: with you no more. See, let's just keep it real. 169 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: This bond you keep creating, this bond. I do not 170 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 1: feel good. In the beginning about dating I didn't feel 171 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: good and beginning about dating a much younger man. Well, 172 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: you said that, but I could not help who I 173 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: fell in love with. I understand that my boyfriend keeps 174 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: trying to reassure me that the baby doesn't change how 175 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:51,560 Speaker 1: he feels about me. See that's true, that he making 176 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 1: a true statement. I want you to hear to Now, 177 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: the baby doesn't change how he feels about you, But now, 178 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: how does he feel about you? Because he didn't cheated 179 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 1: on your multiple times? He ain't asked you to marry 180 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: him easy eleven years younger, and he got another family somewhere. Hell, know, 181 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 1: the baby ain't gonna change how he feel about you. 182 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: What do he feel about you? It's in this for you, sister. 183 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: He has asked me to marry him, and I told 184 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: him yes, But I feel like I'd be in the way. Lady, 185 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 1: lady lay this little dude just trying to hang on 186 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:36,319 Speaker 1: to everything. He's overjoyed with his son. Did chick fine, 187 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: beautiful gut of business? He didn't ask you to marry 188 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 1: him and you told him yes, you got a ring? 189 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: Or did he just ask you because he he ain't 190 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 1: got the money for the ring, your two babies and 191 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: this new baby. But I feel like I'd be in 192 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: the way of a great life he could have with 193 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 1: the baby and the baby's mom, because in your harder hearts, 194 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 1: you know that's where his head is at. True, I 195 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: feel like the best thing would be to let him go. 196 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: Me too, surely do too, But at times I want 197 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: to be selfish and keep him for yourself. You've never 198 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: had him for yourself, see, System, He'd been with a 199 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:20,079 Speaker 1: lot of other people. This is the one that got pregnant. 200 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 1: Ye See, I want to be selfish and keep him 201 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 1: for myself. You've had eleven years to have him to 202 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: yourself and they ain't had him to yourself yet. He's 203 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: not yours and he don't want to be yours. So System, 204 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 1: pull yourself together. Stop creating a relationship that ain't there. 205 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: Quit talking about this bond that this man going to 206 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: be with that family. You take your time, move on 207 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 1: with your life and get you somebody, Get a grown 208 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: ass man that ain't looking to have no more kids. 209 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,239 Speaker 1: All right? Thank you? Steve. Post your comment on Today's 210 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:59,559 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter at Steve Marvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. 211 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 1: And please don't forget to check out the Strawberry Letter 212 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: podcast on demand now coming up at forty six minutes 213 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 1: after the hour, our girl from the Talk will be here, 214 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:12,079 Speaker 1: Cheryl Underwood. Right after this, you're listening to The Stave 215 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show