1 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,879 Speaker 1: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't 2 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:16,640 Speaker 1: a liability, it's a real gift. If we don't know 3 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,920 Speaker 1: something about ourselves at this point in our life, it's 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: probably because it's uncomfortable to know. 5 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 2: If you can die before you die, then you can 6 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 2: really live. There's a wisdom at death's door. I thought 7 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 2: I was insane. Yeah, and I didn't know what to 8 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 2: do because there was no internet. 9 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel like everything 10 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:38,479 Speaker 1: is hard. 11 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 3: Hey, y'all, my name is Kat. I'm a human first 12 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 3: and a licensed therapist second. And right now I'm inviting 13 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 3: you into conversations that I hope encourage you to become 14 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 3: more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, and the 15 00:00:54,280 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 3: world around you. Welcome to You Need Therapy. Hi guysome 16 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 3: to a new episode of You Need Therapy Podcast. 17 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 2: My name is Kat. 18 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: I am the host, and quick reminder before we get 19 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: started that although I am a therapist, this podcast is 20 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: called You Need Therapy. This is not server as a 21 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:16,559 Speaker 1: replacement or a substitute for any actual mental health services. However, 22 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,039 Speaker 1: we always hope that it can help you in some way. 23 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: You might be able to tell but I'm getting over 24 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: a little cold, and I'm honestly unsure if it is 25 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: because the weather is starting to change, because I usually 26 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 1: go through a little cold every time that happens, which 27 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: is so annoying, or it is my body's way of saying, hey, 28 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:40,319 Speaker 1: we were overwhelmed and exhausted and we are out of 29 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:41,400 Speaker 1: gas and steam. 30 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 2: So give us a break. 31 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:44,960 Speaker 1: So I did that, and I gave myself a break 32 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: yesterday and took a day off, which was surprisingly harder 33 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: than I imagined it to be. And we're gonna kind 34 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: of talk about some themes around that. So I don't 35 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: know if I have talked about this story on here before. 36 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: I'm sure I have, and if not, maybe it's me 37 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: trying to keep some of my personal struggles personal. But 38 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 1: I think it's also relatable, so I'm gonna share it. 39 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: I am a kind of person who has like a 40 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: bagelion hobbies. I jump around hobby to hobby, and I 41 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: have a tendency of getting pretty good at the hobby 42 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: and then just getting tired of it and moving on. 43 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: And I still do each thing to some degree, but 44 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: I kind of move on from being like almost obsessed 45 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:29,920 Speaker 1: with it. 46 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 2: I'm also the kind of person. 47 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: Who I see something and I immediately think to myself, oh, 48 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,360 Speaker 1: I can do that, or I can make that, which 49 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 1: I can't, and if I can, sometimes I more recently 50 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 1: have to learn sometimes it's not worth it. And just 51 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: because I can do something or figure something out on 52 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: my own, it doesn't mean I need to or have 53 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: to or if that's the best decision for me. Now, 54 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: some spaces I end up doing it anyway because it's fun. 55 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: In some spaces I have to say, Catherine, we can 56 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: pay somebody to do that. 57 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:02,519 Speaker 2: So those are. 58 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: Two things about me, and that leads to what was 59 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: happening in twenty sixteen. So those like chunky beaded bracelets 60 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: became very popular, and also they were like pretty expensive, 61 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: like almost thirty dollars for a bracelet or twenty dollars 62 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: for a bracelet. I don't remember what it was back then, 63 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: and I thought to myself, I can make those. I 64 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 1: can do that. So I got really into making jewelry, 65 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: became a hobby, and then I thought to myself, this 66 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: could be a business. I could sell this stuff, and 67 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: I created a jewelry business. I hosted parties at people's 68 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: houses where people would come and shop and look at 69 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: all the stuff and buy things. I had booths that 70 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: like craft fares. I had booths at festivals. If you're 71 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: in Nashville, I had a booth at Tomato fest. And 72 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: somebody I was dating at the time had a big 73 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 1: fall festival every year, and I had a booth at 74 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: his festival. So I just started this business and tried 75 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: to do it the right way because one of my fears, 76 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: which I think a lot of people can relate to, 77 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: is I don't want to go to jail for something 78 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: that I accidentally did or didn't really know I was 79 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: doing wrong. And I think there's a difference between going 80 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 1: to jail and getting a fine. But this is the 81 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:21,239 Speaker 1: younger me who was just very scared of just getting 82 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: in trouble in general. So when I started doing all 83 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: these festivals and kind of selling to more than just 84 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: my friends and family, I got a business license and 85 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: I got a business tax license so I could buy 86 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:38,840 Speaker 1: wholesale supplies. And then my hope at that point one 87 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: day was to like sell my stuff to boutiques and 88 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,599 Speaker 1: stores and stuff like that. Spoiler, I never did that, 89 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: So I got all that I had a whole business. 90 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 1: I even got my jewelry in this. It was some 91 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: kind of magazine for Williamson County, which is a county 92 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: in Tennessee where I grew up, kind of like their 93 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: lifestyle magazine or something, but I had like a whole 94 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 1: feature in that. I started making some traction, but I 95 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: also very soon was like, I don't really want to 96 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: do this as a business, Like this is not fun. 97 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: I was coming home from work every day and then 98 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: shutting myself in my room and making jewelry on my floor. 99 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 2: It was just exhausting. 100 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: I wasn't actually making money because I was spending so 101 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: much money on the products. And then I kind of 102 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: went really hard and then got burnt out and just 103 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:31,279 Speaker 1: stopped and I closed it. I think the year after 104 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: that I opened it, and I since then have gotten 105 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: bills and letters and notices every single year sent to 106 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: my house. And I was unaware of a lot of 107 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 1: this stuff the first time that it started happening. I've 108 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: had police officers show up at my office, at my house, 109 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: at my parents' house trying to serve me papers for 110 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: like a delinquent tax that I didn't pay, which, you know, 111 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: knowing me and what I said earlier, this scared the 112 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: crap out of me. I thought I was going to 113 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: go to jail because I didn't pay some tax I 114 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 1: didn't know about. 115 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 2: Well, since the. 116 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 1: First time that has started happening, I would call. I 117 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: would say I thought I closed this, which I need 118 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: to do, and each year I would get some form 119 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: of Okay, you need to do this and then you'll 120 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: be done, or if you do this, you'll be done, 121 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 1: or oh, okay, you did this, you're good to go. 122 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 1: And I guess all the stars weren't aligning with who 123 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 1: needed to talk to who, and maybe I did something 124 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: for one department but not for another department. But it 125 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: was very frustrating because every year this happens, and then 126 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,919 Speaker 1: every year I try really hard to get it solved, 127 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: and then every year after I get these notices again. 128 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,279 Speaker 1: So the past couple, well, I think the past year. 129 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,039 Speaker 1: Last year, I just was like, I don't have the 130 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: energy for this. When they send me the bill that 131 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: I needed to pay, I just paid it, even though 132 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:51,039 Speaker 1: like this is not a business that's running. It's not 133 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 1: like it's not a thing, but it was almost not 134 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 1: worth the energy and the headache and the anxiety that 135 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: I had around figuring this out because it wasn't as 136 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 1: simple as making one phone call, because one phone call 137 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: led to like five other phone calls. And also there 138 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 1: was this did I actually do it right? Because every 139 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: year they tell me I'm doing it right, and then 140 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: a lot of times you're leaving voicemails for people and 141 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 1: then they're calling you back, and then you're missing them 142 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: calling you back, and it's a whole thing. 143 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm sharing all. 144 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: Of this with you because this year I said I'm 145 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: gonna take care of this, and I avoided it for 146 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: like a month, and then I was like, I'm gonna 147 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: take care of this. I'm gonna call. So I called again. 148 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: They told me what to do. After I played phone 149 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: tag for literally a week, and by the time I 150 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: got ahold of the right person, this issue had escalated, 151 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: so I had to call another person, and YadA, YadA, YadA. Anyway, 152 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 1: it was probably three weeks of me making phone calls, 153 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: getting calls back, calling that person. That person's having me 154 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: call this person. That person doesn't know what I'm talking about. 155 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: I'm explaining that that person kind of thinks I sound stupid, which. 156 00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 2: I probably did sound stupid. 157 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: I didn't what I was talking about it's very confusing, 158 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: and this story is probably confusing, but I'm telling it 159 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: you it because this week I figured it out. This 160 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: week I put all of this to rest, and this 161 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: week I have written confirmation that everything is figured out. 162 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: I don't have to pay this enormous fee to the 163 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,239 Speaker 1: Williamson County Courts. And I felt really proud of myself. 164 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: I asked for help where I needed help. I made 165 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: phone calls when I felt, really think I felt when 166 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: I was making these phone calls a little bit of shame, 167 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: but also just confusion and overwhelm that I didn't understand 168 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: what I was calling about, and nobody really took the 169 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: time to explain it to me, and people I don't know. 170 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 1: When you work in a certain area, you just assume 171 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: that everybody knows what you're talking about. But I need 172 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: things in like very simple terms, because I don't know 173 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: much about business tax license and property taxes and all 174 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: this stuff. It's a confusing area for me. I don't 175 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: know a lot about it, and that's okay. A lot 176 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: of people don't know a lot about being a therapist 177 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,680 Speaker 1: because they're not therapists, and that's okay, and that's something 178 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: I have to continue to remind myself. But I'm telling 179 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: you the story because it left me exhausted. When it 180 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: was over, I was so happy to have it done, 181 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: but I felt so exhausted. And I think that's where 182 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: maybe it was a combination. It wasn't like may being exhausted, 183 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 1: or the weather it was a combat a perfect storm, 184 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,960 Speaker 1: or my body was like you need to breathe. 185 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 2: Even though this wasn't. 186 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: A lot of tasking, like sit down and work really hard, 187 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: it was emotionally exhausting, and it was just this ongoing, 188 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 1: never ending thing that I felt like every time I 189 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: opened it up, it was gonna be It's not like 190 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: I make this calling, it's over. It's I make this 191 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: call and they're gonna tell me what call to make next. 192 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 1: And then they're gonna tell me what call to make next. 193 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: And then they're gonna tell me what call to make next, 194 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 1: and then they're gonna give me a form. 195 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 2: Then I just submit that form. 196 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,599 Speaker 1: The I'm gonna have to have another form and I 197 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: have to call somebody about that form. So it was 198 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 1: just exhausting, and when you're in it, it almost says like, Okay, 199 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: I just gotta like jump in it. And do it 200 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: and then I'm when it's I can celebrate, But it 201 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: was as soon as it was over, it was like, oh, 202 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 1: I don't even have an energy to celebrate. And dealing 203 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 1: with this task over here also has made it hard 204 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 1: for me to enjoy other parts of my life just 205 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,079 Speaker 1: because I was thinking about it, or there's something else 206 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: I needed to do, or it felt unfinished. It just 207 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 1: seeped into other parts of my life and it just 208 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: got me thinking about this time of year and how 209 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: it breeds a lot of burnout, and it breeds just 210 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: a lot of exhaustion that turns into burnout, and so 211 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about burnout today. I don't believe that 212 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,560 Speaker 1: that story or situation has burnt me out, but it 213 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 1: led to exhaustion that I think is impacting some other 214 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,319 Speaker 1: areas of my life. And I think when we're in 215 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: the midst of being exhausted getting to that point, we 216 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: don't realize it a lot of times until we are there. 217 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,839 Speaker 1: I think about the way I started working when I 218 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 1: have I had like a lot of energy and excitement 219 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,679 Speaker 1: about being a new therapist and learning new things and 220 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: climbing the ladder, and you know, when you're in that 221 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,840 Speaker 1: space and you're new and you're fresh and you're excited. 222 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 1: You can be doing things that are going to lead 223 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: you to be done for really fast, and it's hard 224 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:22,079 Speaker 1: to recognize that because you're a lot of times enjoying 225 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 1: the stuff that you're doing. When I started working as 226 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,679 Speaker 1: a therapist, I was working multiple jobs, and especially when 227 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: I started as a private practice therapist, I worked multiple jobs. 228 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: I was trying to soak up any opportunity I could, 229 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 1: lots of networking and it was fun and exciting and thrilling, 230 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: and I felt like I was getting somewhere and I 231 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: was on my own, and you know, I was doing 232 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 1: good work and everything was fun and exciting. But I 233 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: didn't realize that as I was doing that, I was 234 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: setting myself up to just run out of gas way 235 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: before I reached my destination. 236 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 2: And a lot of times. 237 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: You don't realize that you've run out of gas until 238 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 1: you take a break. And that is so interesting to 239 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: me because a lot of times vacations in those situations 240 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,560 Speaker 1: end up not being relaxing because you finally take a 241 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: break and then the idea of getting back into that 242 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: quote unquote hustle sounds so daunting that you just want 243 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: to quit it all. I don't know if anybody's ever 244 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: experienced that, but when we're on that cusp of burnout, 245 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 1: the vacation while if when we do take time off, 246 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: it probably is good to have that wake up call, 247 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:35,079 Speaker 1: but it doesn't bring us the relaxing effect that we're 248 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: looking for. Just like the break, it brings us the 249 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: idea that, like, I can't go back into that fire. 250 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 2: And I believe that the. 251 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: Work culture in our country is a breeding ground for 252 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 1: burnout in a lot of different areas. And we don't 253 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: have individually the ability to change that for every circumstance, 254 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: but we do have the ability to recognize when a 255 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: culture is it's good for us, when a culture is 256 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 1: bad for us, and there are things that we can 257 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 1: do that can help us from getting to the point 258 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: where we just want to like quit it all, especially 259 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 1: when it's something that we've loved for so long or 260 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: we've wanted for so long. I think a lot of 261 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 1: times people jump ship because they get burnt out of 262 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: things when it could have been something you were in 263 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 1: for the long haul if you allowed it to be 264 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: more of this gradual process versus jumping in the fire. 265 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 1: And staying in that fire for way too long and 266 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,560 Speaker 1: going back to my jewelry business. I think that's part 267 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,680 Speaker 1: of what happened there, is like I went headfirst into 268 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 1: that and it was like, go go, go, go go, 269 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make something of this. And then I was like, 270 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 1: I don't want to do this anymore. This is too much, 271 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 1: And instead of gradually creating that process. Who knows I 272 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: could have a jewelry business now today that is sold 273 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 1: in stores all over the place versus be a therapist. 274 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: I don't know, And I think that in that circumstance 275 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 1: that worked out the way it needed to work out. 276 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 2: But I recognize how I turned. 277 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: Something that I really was enjoying and I started doing 278 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,079 Speaker 1: for fun. Part of the reason I was doing that 279 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: for fun turned into like a dreaded task, and I 280 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 1: went years without creating any kind of fun jewelry from myself. 281 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: Just recently brought stuff back out, mainly to play with 282 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,480 Speaker 1: my nieces. But I think a lot of times we 283 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 1: get in those situations and we put ourselves in this 284 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: survival mode that we don't need to be in, and 285 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 1: you can't operate there for a long time. You can't 286 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: and maintain health. You can operate there for a long time, 287 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: but your health is going to shift and change. And 288 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 1: so we're going to talk about today what burnout is, 289 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,920 Speaker 1: how it affects our health, and just some little tips 290 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 1: to bring us out of that space, which they might 291 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: not be these oh my god, that's going to change 292 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 1: my life. They're little things that work well if you 293 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 1: do them. And that's a lot of times, like solutions 294 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 1: to some of the ways we cope toxically in our culture. 295 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 1: The solutions to those are often solutions that we are like, oh, 296 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: that doesn't sound as exciting or as wow factor or 297 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 1: as big or grand, and they're not. They take longer 298 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: to work, but they are going to work longer than 299 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: some of these unhealthy coping skills that we find when 300 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 1: we're in spaces of stress. So let's talk about what 301 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: burnout is. So burnout's different than just stress. Burnout would 302 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: be a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion brought 303 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: on by repeated, prolonged stress. So it's stress on steroids 304 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: kind of thing, and a lot of it is brought 305 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 1: on by work stuff. But you can be burnout in 306 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 1: any areas. You can be burnout with taking care of 307 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: your home, taking care of your kids, I don't know, 308 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 1: taking care of another family member, taking care of your partner. 309 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 1: You can be burnt out in a hobby. You can 310 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 1: be burnt out in volunteer opportunities. It can happen anywhere, 311 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: but again, it's a state of emotional, mental, and physical 312 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 1: exhaustion where you are experiencing a long, prolonged, no break 313 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: period of stress. Like I said, it can happen in 314 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: a lot of areas. It can happen from being overworked. 315 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 1: It can come on because it feels like you don't 316 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 1: have control in certain areas. It can happen because you're 317 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 1: not balancing work life or certain relationships or able to 318 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 1: delegate tasks in certain areas of your life. It can 319 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 1: happen because you feel a lack of support in some 320 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: area of your life where you're then doing it all 321 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 1: without thinking, blinking, or taking a break. And when this 322 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: is happening, a lot of times we feel dread about work, 323 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,800 Speaker 1: about things that we used to really love about our jobs. 324 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 1: We feel a lot of anger or we're super irritable 325 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 1: when that's not our personality, and maybe we become very 326 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: cynical about certain things, especially things that we used to 327 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: be really excited about and loved digging into. And I 328 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 1: will give you an example of this. When I started 329 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: working as a therapist, I started in the addiction and 330 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,920 Speaker 1: eating disorder world, and then when I started as a 331 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,800 Speaker 1: private practice therapist, I also was starting as an eating 332 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: disorder dietician. And this was in the rise too of 333 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:18,120 Speaker 1: using Instagram for marketing and stuff like that, and I 334 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: was this like fighter. I wanted to be this advocate 335 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 1: in this person who was constantly fighting the online media 336 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:31,640 Speaker 1: issues around body image and body positivity and eating disorders 337 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: and all that stuff. And I was headed first in 338 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: that all the time, and I was one of those 339 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: people who wanted to talk about it all the time, 340 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,399 Speaker 1: who always wanted to go out and find a solution. 341 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 1: I wanted to be on the front lines, but I 342 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,400 Speaker 1: always was on the front lines. And because social media 343 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: was also something that was just part of my life, 344 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 1: not just a work thing, it felt like I was 345 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 1: constantly battling those things all of the time as a 346 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: clinician and a practitioner, not just as a human being. 347 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 1: And I got to a point where I thought to myself, 348 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,399 Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore. I can't care about this 349 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 1: stuff anymore. And I became very cynical in the sense 350 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 1: of like, oh, nothing's ever going. 351 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 2: To change, So what's the point? 352 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 1: And that was kind of a wake up call of 353 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,119 Speaker 1: this is a thing you really care about, this is 354 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: something that is dear to your heart. It's something that 355 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 1: you do believe we can make change in. You need 356 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: to break. You need to let somebody else step in 357 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,439 Speaker 1: front and be in the front lines, and maybe you 358 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 1: need to maybe piggyback off of some of those people 359 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: doing that work and allow people to help you out 360 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,880 Speaker 1: for a little bit and take some of the weight 361 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: off your shoulders and then get back in that fight 362 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 1: where it seems appropriate for you. And I think it 363 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,640 Speaker 1: didn't have to be a I don't care anymore. 364 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 2: This is stupid. 365 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 1: What's the point it had to be, Hey, I need 366 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: somebody else to carry the heavier load for a little bit. 367 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 1: And so if you've ever experienced something like that, it's 368 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,439 Speaker 1: a sign of burnout. Like I've worked myself to the 369 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 1: point where I can't care anymore about this, even though 370 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: this is a value to me and this is something 371 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 1: that I do care about and I didn't want to 372 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: lose that. When we're feeling burnout, the smallest tasks can 373 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 1: feel super overwhelming. This could be literally just making an 374 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 1: Instagram post thinking about what I was talking about a 375 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 1: second ago. It can be just sending an email. Like 376 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: all these things feel exhausting and dreadful and hard, when 377 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 1: previously you would be excited to do them, or it 378 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 1: would be like, oh yeah, I can get that done, 379 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: or it would be a fun task. 380 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,240 Speaker 2: It's almost that. 381 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: Feeling of you're running on empty but there isn't an 382 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 1: end in sight, so I have to keep going even 383 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: though I have no energy. And when there's no end 384 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: in sight, it feels like you're almost in a jail 385 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: cell or there's no space to come up for air, 386 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:46,080 Speaker 1: which is a haunting and a daunting and a terrible feeling. 387 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 1: And giving yourself an opportunity for air, giving yourself an 388 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 1: end insight is so helpful when it comes to feeling 389 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,359 Speaker 1: like you are at the end of your rope. Knowing 390 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 1: that there is a deadline or an end or a 391 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 1: break can be so helpful to help us almost rejuvening 392 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: ourselves when we're feeling burnt out. It's very interesting, but 393 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: as we're really exhausted, it also leads to difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness. 394 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,880 Speaker 1: Maybe we have like mental fatigue and we don't feel 395 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,679 Speaker 1: as sharp. And it's not because we've become dumb or 396 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: stupid or we've lost all of our knowledge. It's that 397 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: our brain is just so tired. It's working at a 398 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:32,160 Speaker 1: different level. Prolonged stress impairs our decision making, It impairs 399 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 1: our focus. And I think a lot of people think, 400 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 1: including me, at times, we think, oh, we can just 401 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: push through this, or I am this smart, or I 402 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,919 Speaker 1: have this amount of knowledge in my brain, so it 403 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,640 Speaker 1: doesn't matter. I can just push through this. But our 404 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: bodies have limits, and I want people to hear that 405 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,479 Speaker 1: our bodies have limits. Being burnt out is not like 406 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,680 Speaker 1: a character flaw on you. It's not you being weak. 407 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 1: It's not you having enough of something. It is your 408 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,960 Speaker 1: body's way of or bonding to prolonged stress where it 409 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 1: no longer can operate at the same level that you've 410 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:11,919 Speaker 1: been operating before. It's a experience that we have little 411 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: control over. We cannot keep pushing. It's going to make 412 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 1: things worse. Think about if you broke your leg. Your 413 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 1: leg is broken, so you can run on that leg, 414 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: but it's gonna be really painful, and you're not going 415 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 1: to be as fast and you're not gonna be as 416 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 1: good at running right, So you can't help it that 417 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 1: you broke your leg. 418 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 2: It's broken, so. 419 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,680 Speaker 1: We need to heal it so you can go back 420 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: and start running on it. You can't just push through 421 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,919 Speaker 1: that stuff and expect your body to act as if 422 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,720 Speaker 1: it's fully healed and altogether. And with all that stuff, 423 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,800 Speaker 1: you're also gonna lose motivation. You're gonna lose purpose, like 424 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 1: I was saying earlier, with feeling like I just didn't 425 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,159 Speaker 1: want to fight that fight anymore, Like if I was 426 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 1: telling myself that it didn't matter as much to me, 427 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,119 Speaker 1: or I didn't care, couldn't bring myself to go to 428 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: events or watch videos or just immersed in things that 429 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: really were important to me. I'm talking about how burnout 430 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 1: affects you mentally. It's also gonna affect you physically, So 431 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 1: you're gonna have chronic fatigue as well, just body wise, 432 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: where you're just lethargic or tired. Maybe you can't work 433 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: out or do the same kind of workouts that you 434 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 1: are used to doing. Maybe you can't run as far 435 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: as fast as you used to because your body is 436 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 1: just an overdrive. You might have trouble sleeping. You might 437 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: have issues like headaches or just tension in your muscles 438 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 1: because you're putting all that stress and energy somewhere, and 439 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 1: your immune system can also be weakened, which was why 440 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 1: I'm sitting here being like, did I just get this 441 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,679 Speaker 1: because of weather change or did I get this because 442 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,479 Speaker 1: I need a break right now? If you find yourself 443 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,400 Speaker 1: catching every cold that is happening and that's not usually you, 444 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,399 Speaker 1: then maybe your immune system is weak because you are 445 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: using so much energy and your body can't catch up 446 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: and it needs a break so it can build back 447 00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 1: up that immune system. So it's gonn effect you mentally. 448 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,119 Speaker 1: It's going to affect you physically. It's also going to 449 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:06,200 Speaker 1: affect you emotionally. You might have just emotional withdrawal or 450 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 1: you're just kind of pulling into yourself. You can feel 451 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 1: disconnected from your friends, from your family. You might not 452 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 1: want to go to social functions or engage in those 453 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 1: ways that you used to really want to engage in, 454 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: or you get done at the end of the day 455 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,159 Speaker 1: and you just don't feel like going to things that 456 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: you normally would be excited about because you don't have 457 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 1: the energy for it. So you can see how even 458 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 1: if we think that burnout might be just from work, 459 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,639 Speaker 1: or it's just from this part of my life, or 460 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: just from this part of my life, it's going to 461 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,640 Speaker 1: end up affecting every single part of our life. It's 462 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,639 Speaker 1: going to affect our mental health, our physical health, our 463 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: emotional health, our relationships, are enjoyment in life as a whole, 464 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 1: or enjoyment in different parts of our lives. It just 465 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 1: is going to seep into every single aspect if you 466 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: do not pay. 467 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 2: Attention to it. 468 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:00,920 Speaker 1: So I'm just going to give you now some simple 469 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: tips to use and think about if you find yourself 470 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: experiencing this now or save them in your back pocket, 471 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 1: because a lot of us are going to experience this 472 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 1: at some point of our life, and most of us 473 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 1: can't just quit our jobs or quit the thing that 474 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 1: is causing us this burnout, but we can evaluate what's 475 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,479 Speaker 1: going on and see where we can make new or 476 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 1: different decisions. And if you're working in a system that 477 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 1: does not allow for air to be breathed, I think 478 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 1: talking about this with safe people who can help you 479 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,760 Speaker 1: find an exit plan could be really helpful. Knowing you 480 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: are moving towards something better can be more helpful than 481 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,280 Speaker 1: you think, even if you're still in that system. It 482 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,479 Speaker 1: gives us the idea that end is in sight. And 483 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 1: so I just say that because I know a lot 484 00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 1: of people are going to think, well, I can't do 485 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 1: any of that stuff the space where I'm burnt out, 486 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 1: I don't have options. Well, even talking about it with 487 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: somebody can help. And I think a lot of times 488 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: the option or the things that I'm going to ask 489 00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: you to do, they feel impossible, but really it's just different, 490 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: and there's going to be a consequence or there's going 491 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 1: to be some kind of shift, and we have to 492 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 1: evaluate what's more important feeling burnt out and this being 493 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 1: my life or experiencing this shift or consequence in my life, 494 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: which might be uncomfortable. So things to do if you're 495 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:20,840 Speaker 1: experiencing burnout, Allow yourself to take breaks, and I mean 496 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: like breaks like time off, but also frequent and short 497 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 1: breaks throughout your day so you can recharge and just 498 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 1: breathe and experience a second where you're not hustling all 499 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: the time. It can be five ten minutes, it can 500 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: be little walks throughout the day. It can be you 501 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,439 Speaker 1: going and getting a cup of coffee and drinking it, 502 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,879 Speaker 1: not in front of a computer screen or getting a 503 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 1: glass of water and drinking it talking to a friend 504 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,199 Speaker 1: versus while you're typing out your computer. Another thing is 505 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: set clear boundaries. A lot of times this happens because 506 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 1: we're overworking ourselves and not setting boundaries, and we think 507 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,159 Speaker 1: that boundaries can exist, But boundaries can't exist. We just 508 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,880 Speaker 1: have to be the ones that are in charge of them. 509 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 1: If somebody is getting something out of us and it's 510 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: working for them, they're most likely not going to be 511 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,600 Speaker 1: the one that says, hey, let's set a boundary and 512 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: let's make my life harder because you're not going to 513 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,199 Speaker 1: be doing this thing for me. So it has to 514 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,400 Speaker 1: be something that you are in charge of. 515 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 2: And also it. 516 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 1: Might come with somebody else having to take responsibility for things. 517 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,919 Speaker 1: That's okay, you don't have to do it all, and 518 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:23,640 Speaker 1: you don't have to do. 519 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 2: It all all of the time. 520 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:30,399 Speaker 1: That also goes into like delegating, prioritize. Not everything it 521 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 1: has to be done right now, Not everything has to 522 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,360 Speaker 1: be done at one hundred and ten percent level, which 523 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,600 Speaker 1: is really hard for people. I think that just because 524 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: I can do it to this level doesn't mean it's 525 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 1: necessary or I should be doing it to this level. 526 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 1: So delegate, prioritize. Look at where I want to spend 527 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,520 Speaker 1: my energy versus I have to spend this amount of 528 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: energy on everything. You don't have infinite energy, you don't 529 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,680 Speaker 1: have infinite time, and so how do I want to 530 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 1: use that? And where can I ask for help? Make 531 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 1: space for personal time. This is very important. Schedule the 532 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,720 Speaker 1: personal time. I mean, I was telling that story about 533 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 1: me making jewelry, which again at first was personal time, 534 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: but then it became like this dreaded thing that I 535 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: have to go make these things after work, where I 536 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 1: wasn't able to engage with my friends and do things 537 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 1: that we would do regularly, like go to workout classes together, 538 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,680 Speaker 1: go to happy hours after work. I was missing out 539 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 1: on things that were really important to me. And so 540 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:29,440 Speaker 1: for you, schedule things. Put a standing note in your 541 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,640 Speaker 1: calendar where you are going to do something for yourself 542 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,919 Speaker 1: or something with friends at this time every day and 543 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:40,639 Speaker 1: you are unavailable. Prioritize rest, prioritize sleep, make it a 544 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 1: non negotiable. I think a lot of people can stay 545 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 1: up so late working on things because they feel like 546 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: they need to. 547 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,679 Speaker 2: They have to this, it's not an option. 548 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: But if we are going to do that for a 549 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: prolonged period of time, it's only going to get worse. 550 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: Chronic burnout often leads to sleep deprivation, and we do 551 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: not operate super well and super healthy when our bodies. 552 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,159 Speaker 2: Do not have sleep. 553 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,639 Speaker 1: Quality sleep is essential, and so if we're not getting that, 554 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,840 Speaker 1: that is really a red flag and we should not 555 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:13,640 Speaker 1: be long term sacrificing quality sleep for these other things 556 00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 1: that are less important. It might feel like they're more important, 557 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: but your sleep has a lot to do with your 558 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,399 Speaker 1: over all health. And that also goes into like prioritizing 559 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 1: engaging in physical activity. It doesn't have to be the 560 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,679 Speaker 1: most intense, crazy workouts, but just allowing yourself to feel 561 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,919 Speaker 1: that and give your body something that it craves and 562 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 1: wants and desires and making that a priority is really important. 563 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 1: And I love this one, but you have to have 564 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 1: some boundaries with it. Creating and cultivating a hobby, a 565 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,440 Speaker 1: creative hobby, so something that you do just for fun. Recently, 566 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,239 Speaker 1: I think if you guys follow me Instagram, you can 567 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 1: see that I've been painting and it's something I do 568 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 1: when I want to. It's not turning into anything else. 569 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: It's something that I do when I want to do it, 570 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 1: when it feels good. And I actually yes. When I 571 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 1: was exhausted and kind of giving myself that day off, 572 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,360 Speaker 1: I picked up a canvas and I started painting again 573 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 1: because I remember, this allows me to feel good and 574 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: free and it's fun. It's just for the sake of fun. 575 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 1: And along with that is creating self care rituals like rituals, 576 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 1: not just routines. 577 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 2: Rituals. 578 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 1: Self care is a very powerful way to reduce stress 579 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 1: and also recharge energy. So developing a personal routine dedicated 580 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:32,440 Speaker 1: to relaxation and nurturing yourself can help maintain a lot 581 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,960 Speaker 1: of balance in your life. A lot of people will 582 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,520 Speaker 1: do this at night. A lot of people do it 583 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 1: in the morning. You can also have something you do 584 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 1: in the afternoon. But creating something that works for you. 585 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 1: It can also be a weekly routine or a ritual, 586 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: like every Saturday, I go on this hike, or every 587 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,640 Speaker 1: Sunday I do these. 588 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 2: Things in the morning. 589 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 1: I love on the weekends, allowing myself to do my 590 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 1: skincare and a face mask and lay on the couch 591 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 1: and do things like that. And so self care rituals 592 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,360 Speaker 1: that feel really really good. There's two more that I 593 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: think are really important. One is unplugged from social media. 594 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,440 Speaker 1: I think we tell ourselves the lie all the time 595 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: that we won't be able to survive without social media 596 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,760 Speaker 1: or we need it or we have to have it. 597 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 1: And even if your job revolves around social media, there 598 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,560 Speaker 1: are ways for you to unplug from it. Personally, we 599 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 1: survived without it before, we can survive without it moving forward. 600 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,160 Speaker 1: I think I mentioned this last week. I recently learned 601 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,120 Speaker 1: that Woody Harrelson doesn't have a cell phone. He survives, 602 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 1: and I do know that he has a certain amount 603 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 1: of privilege that allows him probably to not have a 604 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: cell phone. I'm not asking you to not have a phone, 605 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: but I am asking you to really evaluate how important 606 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 1: this thing is for you and if you really need it, 607 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,320 Speaker 1: and if it's hurting you or helping you. I recently 608 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: deleted some social media apps from my phone and it's 609 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 1: been a game changer and it has actually allowed me 610 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: to put my phone down so often, not even to 611 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 1: pick something else up, but just to lay there and 612 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 1: breathe instead of between sessions me like scrolling on Instagram 613 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 1: or something like that, I just will either get something 614 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 1: done instead of pushing it off for later that's going 615 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 1: to overwhelm me. Or I lay down for two minutes 616 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 1: and breathe and at a tape before sessions and it 617 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:19,240 Speaker 1: has been so wonderful. And then the last one practice gratitude. 618 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 1: Which I say this knowing some people will be like, yeah, 619 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,040 Speaker 1: I want want gratitude whatever. 620 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 2: But gratitude is a really big deal. 621 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 1: And if we are not noticing the things that we 622 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: have in our life that are good, that we enjoy, 623 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,920 Speaker 1: then a lot of times we don't know that they're 624 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 1: there because the negative aspects of our lives pop out 625 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 1: so much more loudly. I don't like that that's the 626 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 1: fact of life, but that is a fact of life. 627 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 1: And even thinking about how like when we hear negative things, 628 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 1: they make a seven times bigger impact on us than 629 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: positive things about ourselves. So see how more tuned into 630 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 1: the ick we are. Times more so if we are 631 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: not making an effort to look at and pay attention 632 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,040 Speaker 1: to the things in our lives that are going well 633 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,760 Speaker 1: that we like, that we appreciate, a lot of times 634 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 1: just aren't going to see them. We don't know that 635 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,239 Speaker 1: they're there and then it feels like all we are 636 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 1: soaking and is the ick. So when we're burnt out 637 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,520 Speaker 1: a lot of times we're going to be focused on 638 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:25,800 Speaker 1: what's going wrong. Practicing gratitude helps us shift our perspective 639 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 1: to what is going right and what we have the 640 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,680 Speaker 1: power to change and to pay attention to and to 641 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 1: live in too. So start a gratitude journal right down, 642 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 1: three things every day that you're grateful for. It can 643 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 1: be that simple, and see how that shifts the way 644 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,920 Speaker 1: that you start your day. Maybe it shifts the way 645 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: that you approach different tasks you have, where it shifts 646 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 1: the way that you prioritize things. So it could be 647 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,640 Speaker 1: part of that self care ritual where I Am waking 648 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,520 Speaker 1: up every day, I'm having a cup of tea, I'm 649 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: doing my gratitude journal, and then I'm moving on with 650 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 1: my day. With that start, it sounds actually wonderful and 651 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 1: like a big, warm hug you could give to yourself. 652 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: So those are just some tips, and like I said, 653 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,760 Speaker 1: they're not going to be like, oh my God, that's 654 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 1: going to change my life the first time I do it, 655 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:15,600 Speaker 1: but they can start to shift things for you, and 656 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 1: you want to be able to engage in things that 657 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 1: you can do long term that are going to maybe 658 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: take longer to start working, but will last and be 659 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,239 Speaker 1: able to stay with you longer. We are in this 660 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 1: cultural where we want a quick fix that's big and 661 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 1: bold and huge and grand that's actually going to probably 662 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,560 Speaker 1: lead more to the burnout or burnout in another area, 663 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 1: or lead to some kind of disaster in a different area, 664 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 1: because it's not something that can last. Think about how 665 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: we turn to drugs, alcohol, big adrenaline pushes or experiences 666 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 1: when we want to feel better in a lot of 667 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: areas in our lives. Well, if we keep doing that 668 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,040 Speaker 1: over and over and over and over and over again, 669 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,920 Speaker 1: it's going to lead to more toxicity versus if we 670 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: do these less exciting, less I think, huge grand things, 671 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,480 Speaker 1: they are actually going to slowly give us more of 672 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 1: what we need and last longer. So I hope that 673 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,279 Speaker 1: was helpful in some ways this time of year. I 674 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,759 Speaker 1: just think that we I don't know, we start at 675 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 1: the beginning of the year with so much excitement and 676 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,160 Speaker 1: energy for these new tasks and these new goals and 677 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 1: these new things that we're going to do, and then 678 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,160 Speaker 1: we kind of put our head down and go head 679 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,960 Speaker 1: first for months and then we wake up kind of 680 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,080 Speaker 1: at the end of the year, nearing the end of 681 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:30,520 Speaker 1: the year. 682 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,320 Speaker 2: Saying I'm exhausted. 683 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,560 Speaker 1: Why do I feel so exhausted Because we never came 684 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,239 Speaker 1: up for air, We never allowed ourselves space to come 685 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,120 Speaker 1: up for air. So maybe in the fall we don't 686 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,239 Speaker 1: wait until winter. We start in the fall coming up 687 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,520 Speaker 1: for air. So we maybe don't have to give things up. 688 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,680 Speaker 1: I don't have to give up my jewelry business and 689 00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,400 Speaker 1: then fight this tax war for six years. 690 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:53,399 Speaker 2: We can just. 691 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,799 Speaker 1: Actually maintain it at a level that works for us 692 00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:00,960 Speaker 1: versus steals joy energy segment from our lives. 693 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,160 Speaker 2: So again, I hope that was helpful. 694 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 1: If you have any questions, feedback, comments, feel free to 695 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,960 Speaker 1: send those to me Katherine at unitherapy podcast dot com. 696 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,520 Speaker 1: You can follow me kat van Buren on Instagram and 697 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,400 Speaker 1: at You Need Therapy Podcast. 698 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:16,839 Speaker 2: Until I talk to you. 699 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 1: Guys again on Wednesday for couch Talks. 700 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:20,399 Speaker 2: I hope you have the day you need to have