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Speaker 1: School of Humans.

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Speaker 2: This is Queer Chronicles.

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Speaker 3: This is my personal and she queen.

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Speaker 1: Excuse this is Queer Chronicles.

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Speaker 2: Oh. One of the questions is a crush. Oh. I

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Speaker 2: met this girl in the beginning of the month.

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Speaker 1: This is Indigo. He's seventeen years old and lives in Alabama,

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Speaker 1: and as you've already heard, he you've got a crush.

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Speaker 2: I was planning to reach out because I thought she

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Speaker 2: was like really cute, and she ended up reaching out

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Speaker 2: to me first in Uh's been talking ever since and

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Speaker 2: gotten really really close to each other.

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Speaker 1: Like sharing the music you love close.

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Speaker 2: We're trying to see Janelle Money where Dreamersima together because

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Speaker 2: Dreamrasioma released an album called Princess Forever and she sent

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Speaker 2: it to me like when we were first talking, and

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Speaker 2: all of those songs just seem to really apply to us.

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Speaker 1: One of the songs they share is called Dumb in Love,

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Speaker 1: with lyrics like hand me your fears, I can handle them,

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Speaker 1: I can handle your world and with you, I don't think.

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Speaker 1: I just jump and it's all because I'm dumb in

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Speaker 1: love with you.

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Speaker 2: So that's been our album and I'm really glad that

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Speaker 2: we share that musical connection, Like I put my base

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Speaker 2: for her sometimes and recently she's gotten comfortable enough to

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Speaker 2: give me like concerts of all the musicals she likes

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Speaker 2: because she's like a huge the editor. But yeah, I'm

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Speaker 2: glad I'm getting to know her. And I mean it's

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Speaker 2: it's so silly and and though it's like really soon,

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Speaker 2: but I am I love her. I love her.

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Speaker 1: From School of Humans, The Outspoken podcast Network, and iHeart Podcasts.

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Speaker 1: This is Queer Chronicles, a show where queer folks document

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Speaker 1: their personal lives and experiences in their own words, and

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Raquel Willis. This season, a group of

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Speaker 1: teenagers are sharing their person on growing up as queer,

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Speaker 1: trans and gender non conforming while living in mostly red States.

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Speaker 1: And today we're talking all about love.

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Speaker 3: I see love as an infinite resource. Like it doesn't

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Speaker 3: take me a long time to know that I love someone.

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Speaker 3: And it's not like I know a lot of people

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Speaker 3: have a thing about that, but like, I just feel

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Speaker 3: like the world would be a lot better if people

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Speaker 3: had that understanding that you you don't have to reserve

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Speaker 3: love and kindness and respect just for a select few people.

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Speaker 1: When I was growing up, I didn't see a lot

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Speaker 1: of representations of queer love, not on TV, not on

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Speaker 1: the radio, not in my real life, and I definitely

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Speaker 1: didn't see any representations of trans people in life and

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Speaker 1: being loved. In high school, I remember watching a lot

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Speaker 1: of the sis straight folks around me pair off with

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Speaker 1: each other. Back then, I had a feeling that romance

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Speaker 1: wasn't going to be accessible to me in the same way.

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Speaker 1: I kind of just assumed that love and relationships would

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Speaker 1: be harder for me as a queer person, and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't wrong. Even though I feel like there's more representation

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Speaker 1: these days, a lot of queer love stories don't have

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Speaker 1: happy endings, and so much of what we see of

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Speaker 1: it is filled with yearning and unrequited feelings. So to

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Speaker 1: start off, I asked Indigo about the first time he

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Speaker 1: saw a queer couple represented in media.

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Speaker 3: It was a Hailey Kioko video. It was called Sleepover,

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Speaker 3: and you know that was like back when I was

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Speaker 3: a baby gay and I was like looking for scraps,

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Speaker 3: I tell you scraps. I just thought it was like

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Speaker 3: a truly beautiful video and song, like, you know, talking

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Speaker 3: about a really relatable experience. Basically, Hailey Kiyoka is talking

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Speaker 3: about being in love with her best friend right and

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Speaker 3: imagining them instead of doing gurly things like painting nails,

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Speaker 3: combing for these hair that like making out and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Did you have an experience like that in your life

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Speaker 1: that you could compare it to.

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Speaker 3: Yes. There was this girl in middle school that I

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Speaker 3: really liked and we were in PE together. So I

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Speaker 3: had this early morning zero period PE class and she

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Speaker 3: was there too. I really liked her, and I told

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Speaker 3: her that I liked her, and she was like, if

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Speaker 3: you can come early to class because I was like

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Speaker 3: always late. So she was like, if you could come

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Speaker 3: to class early three days in a row, I'll date you.

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Speaker 3: And I tried so hard, but I was late, like

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Speaker 3: literally every day. And then she started dating my other

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Speaker 3: male friend, and that sucked. In this Hailey Kyoka song,

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Speaker 3: she's like talking about her friend and she can never

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Speaker 3: like tell her how she feels. But in the chorus

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Speaker 3: it's like, at least I got you in my head,

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Speaker 3: And I guess that's how it felt for me, because

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Speaker 3: you know, we were getting to be really really good friends.

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Speaker 3: I went over to her house and you know, met

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Speaker 3: her family, played Minecraft and stuff, got chased by her

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Speaker 3: snake on the ground and at school, We like sat

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Speaker 3: at lunch with each other and talked in the mornings

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Speaker 3: and stuff, and then all of a sudden, like this

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Speaker 3: dude that she doesn't even know for real, you know,

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Speaker 3: comes sweeps her up, and all I've left with is,

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Speaker 3: you know, the way that I wanted to be with

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Speaker 3: her in my head.

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Speaker 1: Now, a few years and a few more heartbreaks later,

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Speaker 1: Indigo is dating someone new and those feelings don't have

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Speaker 1: to just exist in his hat anymore. I asked him

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Speaker 1: to tell the story of how he met his long

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Speaker 1: distance girlfriend, alyssa girl.

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Speaker 3: We're telling everybody that we met at grad Bach. Bradbash

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Speaker 3: is this thing at Universal Studios where the entire part

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Speaker 3: is rented out for seniors owly, and so I went

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Speaker 3: to the trip right but we didn't go to grad

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Speaker 3: Bach on the same days, but it was like really

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Speaker 3: close and he met soon after. But we actually met

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Speaker 3: on Hugo. It wasn't app that was big in the pandemic.

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Speaker 3: It was supposed to be for making friends, but like

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Speaker 3: people use it as a dating app for kids, and

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, she's so cute, Like

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Speaker 3: I'm at her on Instagram because I didn't want to

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Speaker 3: reach out to her on fucking Yubo of all places,

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Speaker 3: and I mean I didn't end up reaching out first, surprisingly, like,

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Speaker 3: I followed her and she commented on one of my

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Speaker 3: stories and we've been talking ever since, which is surprising

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Speaker 3: because I'm usually the one pursuing. But since we went

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Speaker 3: to grab bash at similar times, we just tell everybody

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Speaker 3: we met there because it's kind of embarrassing that you've

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Speaker 3: met on Yugo.

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Speaker 1: At the time of recording this, they are about two

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Speaker 1: months into their relationship and I wanted to hear from

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Speaker 1: Indigo about what he likes about Alyssa. What was it

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Speaker 1: about her that initially caught his eye and beyond the spark,

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Speaker 1: what's kept them together?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god. Okay, So initially I was like attracted

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Speaker 3: to her because she's like really pretty, she got locks

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Speaker 3: and stuff like that, and she has like really good

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Speaker 3: music tastes. But as I got to know her, she's

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Speaker 3: just like so poetic. I don't even know how to

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Speaker 3: describe it, Like she writes poetry and she writes in

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Speaker 3: this really like articulate way feeling, and I like how

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Speaker 3: she opens up to me and how she talks about herself.

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Speaker 3: I like that she's so kind to her family. I

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Speaker 3: really appreciate the way that she cares about other people,

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Speaker 3: and I like Okay.

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Speaker 1: As you can see, Indigo had a lot of things

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Speaker 1: he liked about Alyssa. But we're gonna have to stop

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Speaker 1: him here more queer love after the break and we're back.

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Speaker 1: I asked him to go, how does being in love

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Speaker 1: actually feel versus what he thought it would fel like

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Speaker 1: and has had.

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Speaker 3: I don't feel like scared. I don't feel anxious. You

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Speaker 3: know that feeling on TV? Right, It's like you want

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Speaker 3: to throw up when you see them because you're so

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Speaker 3: nervous and you're just paralyzed in the moment and you

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Speaker 3: can't even say words right because you like them so much.

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Speaker 3: It kind of isn't like that. I feel like being

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Speaker 3: in love with someone is making the conscious choice to

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Speaker 3: love them and not to put them on a pedestal

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Speaker 3: and see them as this like big scary person. It's

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Speaker 3: understanding them. And it would be different if it was

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Speaker 3: like infatuation, which is what I think a lot of

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Speaker 3: portrayals of love are in media. I thought that it

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Speaker 3: would just be like all happy feelings, you know, kisses

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Speaker 3: and stuff, something kind of really gentle, and uncomplicated people

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Speaker 3: holding hands in the hallway and you know, kissing occasionally

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Speaker 3: and talking about anime and watching that together. I didn't

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Speaker 3: consider anything like problems, differences, trauma and stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: But I understand now that there are going to be issues,

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Speaker 3: that there are going to be complications with how people

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Speaker 3: are compatible with each other based off of things like

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Speaker 3: the values and how well they deal with bad situations

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Speaker 3: and trauma and stuff. I was afraid, because you know,

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Speaker 3: I've been in some very roller coaster line relationships. I

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Speaker 3: was scared that because it's not like high highs and

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Speaker 3: very low lows, that I would be like bored and stuff.

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Speaker 3: But overall it's just been like a warm hug instead

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Speaker 3: of a bear hug. You know.

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Speaker 1: What kind of issues or complications have you and Alyssa

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Speaker 1: had to work through in your relationship.

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Speaker 3: I mean with me being trans and like her introducing

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Speaker 3: me to her family and stuff, because I mean, she

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Speaker 3: came out as a lesbian first and now that she's

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Speaker 3: with me, she's queer. And me and her were talking,

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Speaker 3: she was like she was worried about you know, her

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Speaker 3: family invalidating me or like giving her about it and

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Speaker 3: like basically affirming their beliefs that it was a phase

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Speaker 3: or that you know, she she's found the right guy

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Speaker 3: and you know, turn normal or something like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, what was the conversation between you and and

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Speaker 1: Alyssa around her not identifying as a lesbian anymore and

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Speaker 1: now identifying as clear. What were those conversations?

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Speaker 3: Like I was fearful that because I'm pre tea and

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Speaker 3: that I don't really like pass publicly, that she was

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Speaker 3: only really attracted to me because you know, that looked

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Speaker 3: like a girl in the base. But I mean, she

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Speaker 3: reassured me that like, once I start tea and get

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Speaker 3: top surgery and stuff like that, that she would like

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Speaker 3: still love me for who I am, because I was

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Speaker 3: honest with her that I was a transman, like really

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Speaker 3: early on in our relationship, and for me because of

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Speaker 3: dysphoria and stuff like, I still think about, oh well,

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Speaker 3: once I actually start tea and I start getting hairy

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Speaker 3: and stinky and stuff like that, like, is that going

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Speaker 3: to be a problem. Most of those issues, I guess

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Speaker 3: are still theoretical. But yesterday I had to take an

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Speaker 3: ID photo for my college right, and I was trying

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Speaker 3: this trick she told me about, like to use mascara

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Speaker 3: to kind of like create the look of a mustache,

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Speaker 3: and when I showed her, it wasn't like the adverse reaction.

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Speaker 3: I was kind of expecting. I don't know why, because

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Speaker 3: she's she's always been like really reassuring, but I was

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Speaker 3: just scared that in that moment she would realize like,

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Speaker 3: oh shit, this is for real, like that's a man,

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Speaker 3: and it wasn't like that at all. She thought I

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Speaker 3: looked very dashing and handsome.

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Speaker 1: Well, in one of your voice memos, you said that

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Speaker 1: even though you're trans mask you still feel like you

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Speaker 1: experience attraction in a very lesbian way. Can you talk

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Speaker 1: more about that, Like what does it mean to experience

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Speaker 1: attraction in a lesbian way?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I don't want to be like generalizing anything, but

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Speaker 3: I feel like with CIS men, there's like that huge

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Speaker 3: barrier that you have to get over with being socialized

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Speaker 3: to be masculine and stuff, and they literally have to

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Speaker 3: unlearn how to see women as something other than things

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Speaker 3: that they can control. And I feel like, as a transman,

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Speaker 3: I don't have to deal with any of those barriers

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Speaker 3: because I already understand like how it feels like to

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Speaker 3: be a woman to be objectified and to be seen

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Speaker 3: as something to control. I guess since I have that experience,

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm never going to have a problem

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Speaker 3: with like understanding their emotions and like disregarding them because

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Speaker 3: I think they're silly or illogical or something like that.

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Speaker 1: Will allow Indigo to have his opinions. But I have

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Speaker 1: to say, as a trans woman who's data trans masculine

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Speaker 1: folks and sessmen, I've dealt with misogyny and objectification from

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Speaker 1: both groups. But I will say there does tend to

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Speaker 1: be more understanding in general from trans masculine folks about

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Speaker 1: how patriarchy can show up in relationships. And now that

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Speaker 1: I'm off my gender study soapbox, let's get into how

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Speaker 1: Indigo's life was unfolding when this new romance popped up.

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Speaker 1: So Indigo had just graduated from high school and was

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Speaker 1: heading to college. This was all happening in his home

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Speaker 1: state of Alabama. He would have preferred to move elsewhere,

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Speaker 1: especially considering the state's recent restrictions around healthcare for trans youth,

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Speaker 1: but he got a full ride scholarship and opportunity he

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Speaker 1: couldn't pass up. Because of that, He's making some major sacrifices.

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Speaker 3: I've been trying to keep up with the news, and

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Speaker 3: it's kind of dubious what the court ruling was. As

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Speaker 3: far as I know, I can't start transitioning medically until

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Speaker 3: I'm nineteen. And that doesn't mean just surgery. It means

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Speaker 3: like blockers and actual hormone therapy and stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: And that really sucks for me because I'm already struggling

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Speaker 3: with like the fact that I'm going to stop growing

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Speaker 3: and really soon too, and I'm only like by two.

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Speaker 3: And I mean, you've seen how people talk about shortening

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Speaker 3: you feel me and it makes me feel just for it.

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Speaker 3: And I don't have to be dealing with that until

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Speaker 3: I'm nineteen if I stay here. And I guess I've

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Speaker 3: been having to come to terms with that.

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Speaker 1: And the ghost plan is to eventually transfer schools with

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Speaker 1: the hope that he'll have a smoother gender transition experience. However,

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Speaker 1: if he moved, that would add even more miles to

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Speaker 1: his long distance relationship with Alyssa.

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Speaker 3: The reason why I'm trying to transfer is, you know,

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Speaker 3: because of the quality of the school, of course, but

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Speaker 3: because this state I'm trying to go to is like

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Speaker 3: a safe state for trans people, like it won't be

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Speaker 3: as difficult changing my name, my PIRTH certificate, changing the

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Speaker 3: marker on my driver's license and my passport, you know,

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Speaker 3: like I can, I can get those resources easier. But

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Speaker 3: with that comes the understanding that I will be farther

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Speaker 3: away from her, and I'm just like I wish I

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Speaker 3: wish I could take her with me, because like that

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Speaker 3: that distance is gonna suck. I just I'm not sure

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Speaker 3: how we're going to handle that, because you know, plane

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Speaker 3: rides are expensive. Then I'm going to be up in

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Speaker 3: the cold, you know, and she doesn't like the cold.

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Speaker 3: But you know, she's she's been really supportive about it,

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Speaker 3: and I guess there's still that worry about like too

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Speaker 3: much of a distance becoming a barrier in our relationship.

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Speaker 3: And I just I wish I did have to put

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Speaker 3: that barrier there, just to be who I am, you know.

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Speaker 3: I wish I could transition easier here, feel more comfortable

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Speaker 3: in my own body here where I'm like at least

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Speaker 3: only six hours away from her. But that's just not

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Speaker 3: the case, and I don't see it being the case

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Speaker 3: even in the future, Like legislation is getting worse in

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Speaker 3: neighboring states, and I'm just fearful that Alabama is going

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Speaker 3: to follow suit, you know.

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Speaker 1: So looking to the future, how do you hope that

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Speaker 1: your relationship with Alissa evolves?

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Speaker 3: I mean in the near future, I hope that I

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Speaker 3: can see her, you know, because I mean, like, we

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Speaker 3: we haven't met each other yet, but it's like missing

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Speaker 3: someone you never met. Is kind of a really weird feeling.

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Speaker 1: Since y'all have been long this since what were the

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Speaker 1: things that you did to kind of build that infamacy?

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Speaker 1: Since y'all haven't met in person yet.

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Speaker 3: I feel silly kind of describing it. But we do

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00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:32,325
Speaker 3: things like watch what's social called The Queer Ultimatum. We

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00:21:32,445 --> 00:21:38,365
Speaker 3: watch things like Atlanta and little silly romcom movies, and

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Speaker 3: we like talk shit about the you know, horrible acting

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Speaker 3: and stuff. Or you know, we'll play video games like

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Speaker 3: Minecraft and stuff and like build houses in like that

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Speaker 3: cherry biome that she likes, because you know, she likes

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Speaker 3: pink and stuff. A big part of our relationship is

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Speaker 3: like our taste in use and making playlists together or

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Speaker 3: send each other's songs that you know reminds us of

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00:22:11,245 --> 00:22:16,685
Speaker 3: each other, and share poetry or journal entries that we

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Speaker 3: have on our phones with each other.

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Speaker 1: That last one journal entries on their phones really stood

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Speaker 1: out to me, and it sounds kind of familiar to

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Speaker 1: what we're doing on the show. While they can't be

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Speaker 1: together in person, in the Go and A Lissa write

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00:22:35,765 --> 00:22:40,325
Speaker 1: memos back and forth to each other. So we decided

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Speaker 1: to try a little experiment. We gave them a list

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Speaker 1: of questions to ask each other over voice memos, and

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Speaker 1: they agreed to give us a peek into their relationship

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Speaker 1: through their answers.

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Speaker 4: You've just made me become so much more comfortable with

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Speaker 4: myself and with expressing love and receiving love. And I'm

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Speaker 4: really appreciative of that.

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Speaker 1: Me Alessa. You'll hear what she and Indigo asked each

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Speaker 1: other and their responses after the break.

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Speaker 4: What was the first thing that you noticed about me?

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Speaker 4: What was something you initially liked about me that made

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Speaker 4: you want to keep talking to me?

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Speaker 2: I'll say, the first thing I noticed about you was

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Speaker 2: you were like super fucking beautiful, Like I was just

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Speaker 2: I saw you and I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: Like she is so out of my league. But she

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Speaker 2: has such good music tastes, and I think the music

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Speaker 2: taste and like the things that I knew you liked.

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Speaker 2: You know, are would compelled me to keep talking to

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Speaker 2: you because we shared a lot in comments, and I

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Speaker 2: really appreciate that because music is like a huge part

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Speaker 2: of my life.

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Speaker 3: Oh you're so sweet.

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Speaker 4: I don't know why you keep saying I'm out of

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Speaker 4: your leak, though, because I don't think that's true at all,

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Speaker 4: and I'd literally keep telling you this for me though.

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Speaker 4: The first thing I noticed about you was definitely your hair.

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Speaker 4: It's just so cool and vibrant and blue isn't typically

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Speaker 4: a hair color that you see on boys because most

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Speaker 4: of them can't even pull it off that you pull

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Speaker 4: it off perfectly, and it's just very attractive. And definitely

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Speaker 4: your name. I love your name so much. I've never

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Speaker 4: met anybody named Indigo before, so that was just really

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00:25:02,565 --> 00:25:06,325
Speaker 4: cool to me. And you always seemed interested in everything

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Speaker 4: that I had to say, and I really appreciated that

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Speaker 4: because I'm not used to people actually listening to me

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Speaker 4: all the time, so it made me feel really happy

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Speaker 4: that you're actually interested in what I had to say.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate everything you have to say because you're so passionate,

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Speaker 2: like about a lot of things You're so creative and

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Speaker 2: you know, expressive and stuff like that, and I just

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00:25:35,965 --> 00:25:40,645
Speaker 2: really admire that about you, like you care about things,

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Speaker 2: you want to make an impact, and I just I

352
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Speaker 2: really appreciate that you're the type of person to just

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00:25:51,805 --> 00:25:58,445
Speaker 2: feel driven to do something. I just I can't wait

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Speaker 2: to see you grow even more.

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Speaker 3: Kind of like smiling.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you can hear it in my voice,

357
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:12,605
Speaker 2: but yeah, when did you first know that you really

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00:26:12,725 --> 00:26:16,325
Speaker 2: liked me? How did you know? And what did it

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Speaker 2: feel like for you?

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Speaker 4: It was really when you were talking about what love

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00:26:24,085 --> 00:26:27,685
Speaker 4: meant to you and how there's no time limit on love.

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Speaker 4: Because when we were talking, I was scared that I

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00:26:33,205 --> 00:26:37,125
Speaker 4: was falling too fast or that you'd end up hurting

364
00:26:37,165 --> 00:26:40,245
Speaker 4: me in some way. But when I embraced it and

365
00:26:40,285 --> 00:26:45,525
Speaker 4: stopped getting into my head so much, it felt really

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Speaker 4: sweet and really calm. I didn't feel like anxious, nervous butterflies.

367
00:26:52,245 --> 00:26:56,445
Speaker 4: You've just made me become so much more comfortable with

368
00:26:56,605 --> 00:27:01,405
Speaker 4: myself and with expressing love and receiving love, and I'm

369
00:27:01,445 --> 00:27:08,965
Speaker 4: really appreciative of that. I remember knowing that I liked

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Speaker 4: you really really early on, and it just it felt right.

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Speaker 2: It felt good to love you. I just felt like

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Speaker 2: I could be meet with you, and I feel like

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Speaker 2: that's so important to having a partner. I just I

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Speaker 2: don't know. I just I just knew from the get

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Speaker 2: go that I wanted to spend as long as I

376
00:27:40,485 --> 00:27:43,565
Speaker 2: could with you, love you for as long as I can.

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Speaker 2: It makes me really happy whenever you say that I'm

378
00:27:49,445 --> 00:27:53,405
Speaker 2: easy to love because I always consider myself a burden,

379
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Speaker 2: But every day you're always consistent and you show me

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00:27:58,205 --> 00:28:01,165
Speaker 2: that I'm not a burden and I'm not somebody that's

381
00:28:01,165 --> 00:28:05,085
Speaker 2: hard to love. And I'm really thankful for that, because

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00:28:05,485 --> 00:28:09,325
Speaker 2: every that you love me helps me love myself more

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Speaker 2: and I loving you.

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Speaker 3: So much for that.

385
00:28:15,205 --> 00:28:18,845
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gated about you.

386
00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:19,845
Speaker 3: I'm gated bat you.

387
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Speaker 2: What does love mean to you?

388
00:28:24,725 --> 00:28:26,365
Speaker 4: And what does it mean to love someone?

389
00:28:28,045 --> 00:28:33,445
Speaker 2: I think it means choosing to make the effort every

390
00:28:33,525 --> 00:28:36,165
Speaker 2: day to talk to them, to love them, to sort

391
00:28:36,205 --> 00:28:40,565
Speaker 2: out your problems, to love them despite their flaws, shit

392
00:28:40,765 --> 00:28:43,685
Speaker 2: like that. It's a labor of love and you're doing

393
00:28:43,685 --> 00:28:48,085
Speaker 2: this because you want to. And even if you have problems,

394
00:28:48,085 --> 00:28:52,205
Speaker 2: it's not like you're dreading talking about them with the

395
00:28:52,245 --> 00:28:52,925
Speaker 2: other person.

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00:28:52,965 --> 00:28:53,405
Speaker 3: It's like.

397
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Speaker 2: Y'all have the wherewithal to talk about those things and

398
00:28:59,165 --> 00:29:04,165
Speaker 2: not judge each other for how the other feels. I

399
00:29:04,205 --> 00:29:06,685
Speaker 2: completely agree with every thing he said, and that's what

400
00:29:06,765 --> 00:29:09,005
Speaker 2: I love so much about us, because we're always on

401
00:29:09,045 --> 00:29:12,005
Speaker 2: the same page. But for me, what it means to

402
00:29:12,045 --> 00:29:15,885
Speaker 2: love someone is just choosing that person every day and

403
00:29:15,925 --> 00:29:21,325
Speaker 2: continuing to choose that person. Relationships aren't perfect at all,

404
00:29:21,965 --> 00:29:24,805
Speaker 2: but just the fact that we can communicate and talk

405
00:29:24,925 --> 00:29:28,245
Speaker 2: out our problems and how we feel and realize ways

406
00:29:28,285 --> 00:29:30,725
Speaker 2: that we can be a better partner to each other.

407
00:29:31,285 --> 00:29:34,165
Speaker 2: Stuff like that I really appreciate and it's what makes

408
00:29:34,205 --> 00:29:39,725
Speaker 2: me fall in love with you every day. Oh babe,

409
00:29:40,005 --> 00:29:45,205
Speaker 2: I'm so lucked in for real, Like we basically kind

410
00:29:45,245 --> 00:29:48,085
Speaker 2: of said the same thing, but I'm really glad that

411
00:29:48,085 --> 00:29:51,845
Speaker 2: we're on the same page anyways, Love you bye.

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Speaker 1: Hearing Indigo and Alyssa share their love this way feel

413
00:29:58,325 --> 00:30:02,525
Speaker 1: so vulnerable. It's the kind of love that all teenagers

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00:30:02,565 --> 00:30:07,485
Speaker 1: deserve to feel, and to feel openly without fear. The

415
00:30:07,565 --> 00:30:10,685
Speaker 1: way they talk about their feelings for each other and

416
00:30:10,845 --> 00:30:13,525
Speaker 1: how they acknowledge the challenges that come along with that

417
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:18,805
Speaker 1: kind of connection feel so grounded and thoughtful. In the

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00:30:18,845 --> 00:30:23,765
Speaker 1: Go and Alyssa's relationship began with music, so it's only

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00:30:23,805 --> 00:30:27,805
Speaker 1: fitting that this episode ends with it too.

420
00:30:28,885 --> 00:30:35,685
Speaker 2: What resonates most with you from our album? What lyrics

421
00:30:35,725 --> 00:30:37,525
Speaker 2: feel like they applied to us?

422
00:30:38,325 --> 00:30:42,925
Speaker 4: Honestly, every single lyrics from every single song on that album,

423
00:30:43,205 --> 00:30:46,445
Speaker 4: But the ones that apply to us the most is

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00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:49,045
Speaker 4: in the song dumb in Love with You, when he

425
00:30:49,165 --> 00:30:53,525
Speaker 4: says hand me your fears, I can handle them, I

426
00:30:53,525 --> 00:31:04,925
Speaker 4: can handle your world. Get ahead, And I feel like

427
00:31:04,925 --> 00:31:10,165
Speaker 4: that really plased us because with all my insecurities and

428
00:31:10,285 --> 00:31:12,885
Speaker 4: the stuff I have anxiety about, in all of my fears,

429
00:31:13,245 --> 00:31:16,045
Speaker 4: You're just so willing to help me through them and

430
00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:19,645
Speaker 4: reassure me and make me feel better about myself. And

431
00:31:19,725 --> 00:31:22,005
Speaker 4: I love being able to do that for you too,

432
00:31:22,125 --> 00:31:24,805
Speaker 4: because I never want you to feel like you're not

433
00:31:25,045 --> 00:31:28,085
Speaker 4: enough for like I don't love you, just.

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Speaker 1: Stuff like that.

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00:31:30,645 --> 00:31:32,765
Speaker 2: I knew that she would choose dumb in Love with

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Speaker 2: You because that's your favorite song off the album Stars

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00:31:36,525 --> 00:31:39,005
Speaker 2: and Venus Versus Mars.

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00:31:38,765 --> 00:31:41,405
Speaker 3: Is obviously mine, but you know, I just I just

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Speaker 3: know we liked it like this.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, they can't see me, they can't see me,

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Speaker 2: but I'm crossing my fingers right now.

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Speaker 3: We tight like that, We tight like that.

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Speaker 1: Indegol sent one other voice memo to Alyssa about another

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00:31:54,525 --> 00:31:59,045
Speaker 1: song he loves from that dreamer. It'sioma album called Stars,

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00:31:59,405 --> 00:32:03,165
Speaker 1: but this time he felt it so much he just

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Speaker 1: started singing it to her.

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00:32:05,725 --> 00:32:13,045
Speaker 2: Switching Webbie, kissing baby. This is more than physical, spiritual.

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00:32:13,805 --> 00:32:15,245
Speaker 3: God told me too.

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00:32:16,805 --> 00:32:21,445
Speaker 2: Out for miricals. Oh my God, let me stop before

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00:32:21,445 --> 00:32:25,045
Speaker 2: I get cheese. Easing new steps before I get cheesy, Jess.

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Speaker 1: Queer Chronicles is a production of School of Humans, The

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Speaker 1: Outspoken podcast Network, and iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Raquel Willis.

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00:32:39,885 --> 00:32:42,965
Speaker 1: You can find a list of resources in the show notes,

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00:32:43,045 --> 00:32:48,045
Speaker 1: including trans Lifeline and the Trevor Project. This show was

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00:32:48,085 --> 00:32:52,405
Speaker 1: written by Jordan Bailey, Etalise Perez, Aaron Edwards, and me.

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00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:58,325
Speaker 1: Our story editors are Aaron Edwards and Julia Furlan, Produced

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00:32:58,365 --> 00:33:03,445
Speaker 1: by Jordan Bailey, Julia for Lan and Etalise Perez. Our

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00:33:03,485 --> 00:33:09,485
Speaker 1: senior producer is Amelia Brock, directed by Etalis Perez, sound

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00:33:09,565 --> 00:33:14,525
Speaker 1: design and mixed by mv al Rahim. Theme song composed

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00:33:14,525 --> 00:33:18,405
Speaker 1: by Jesse Niswanger. Stars and Dumb in Love with You

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00:33:18,565 --> 00:33:22,645
Speaker 1: were written and composed by Dreamer en Ja, jaye Ewerabon

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00:33:23,205 --> 00:33:28,845
Speaker 1: and Saint Louis and are available to stream everywhere. Performed

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00:33:29,005 --> 00:33:34,085
Speaker 1: by Dreamer Eciama Publishing by Saint Louis and Downtown Music

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00:33:34,125 --> 00:33:40,565
Speaker 1: Publishing on behalf of Dreamer Eciama Publishing. Master's courtesy of

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Speaker 1: A Wall Recordings America, Inc. Casting by Jordan Bailey and

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00:33:45,845 --> 00:33:51,605
Speaker 1: Julia Farlan, fact checking by Savannah Hughgley. Our production manager

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00:33:51,805 --> 00:33:56,485
Speaker 1: is Daisy Church. Executive producers include Jay Brunson and Me

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00:33:56,765 --> 00:34:00,965
Speaker 1: from The Outspoken Podcast Network, Michael Alder June and Noel

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00:34:01,045 --> 00:34:06,485
Speaker 1: Brown from iHeart Podcasts, Virginia Prescott, Brandon Vah and Elsie

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00:34:06,525 --> 00:34:11,725
Speaker 1: Crowley from School of Humans and The Cats Company. Special

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Speaker 1: thanks to Alyssa. If you're enjoying the show, please share

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00:34:15,805 --> 00:34:18,965
Speaker 1: it with friends and family, and don't forget to rate

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00:34:19,045 --> 00:34:23,245
Speaker 1: and review in your favorite podcast app. Tune in again

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Speaker 1: next week