WEBVTT - Finding Solace in Solitude

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<v Speaker 1>Stay Calm is a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome

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<v Speaker 1>to Stay Calm, your daily dose of calmness. I'm Bob Roth,

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<v Speaker 1>and I've been teaching people to meditate for fifty years,

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<v Speaker 1>helping them to stay calm under pressure, reboot and re

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<v Speaker 1>energize their lives, and basically be a happier, healthier version

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<v Speaker 1>of themselves. And now I want to help you do

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<v Speaker 1>the same. Ready, sit comfortably, take a few deep breaths,

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<v Speaker 1>and let's begin today's journey. Today we're going to dive

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<v Speaker 1>into the blessings of solitude, the benefits of living moments

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<v Speaker 1>of solitude. Wait, you're thinking, I've been stuck at home

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<v Speaker 1>for weeks by myself, feeling lost and afraid, and you're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna tell me about the wonders of being alone. I'd

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<v Speaker 1>give anything to hang out with some friends. Or I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna quarantine with three teenagers and we're on each other's

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<v Speaker 1>nerves from the minute the sun comes up. I love

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<v Speaker 1>even five minutes of solitude, but that's not happening. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>I do understand. I've been living in the middle of

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<v Speaker 1>New York City and I haven't really gone out for

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<v Speaker 1>weeks either, But that doesn't mean we can't take a

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<v Speaker 1>few minutes and consider the beauty and the possibility of

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<v Speaker 1>enjoying solitude in our own life, even amidst the chaos

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<v Speaker 1>and confusion of the pandemic. First, let's be clear about

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<v Speaker 1>the difference between being alone and feeling lonely and being

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<v Speaker 1>alone and enjoying solitude. The American Heritage Dictionary defines loneliness

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<v Speaker 1>as quote sadness because one has no friends or company,

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<v Speaker 1>feelings of depression. Solitude, on the other hand, is defined

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<v Speaker 1>as the state or situation of just being alone, as

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<v Speaker 1>in quote she savored her freedom and solitude. The state

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<v Speaker 1>where you can be alone and comfortable in your own

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<v Speaker 1>skin is certainly attainable, but it doesn't come just because

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<v Speaker 1>you summon it and you want it now. It comes

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<v Speaker 1>from wanting to make the comfort of solitude a permanent

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<v Speaker 1>part of your life, and by developing it and culturing

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<v Speaker 1>it over time. There are many little things you can

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<v Speaker 1>do for that, but really the best thing you can

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<v Speaker 1>do is he the advice of the wise throughout the ages,

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<v Speaker 1>and that is to meditate. Like an notion, that mind

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<v Speaker 1>is active, noisy, turbulent on the surface, but silent and

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<v Speaker 1>unbounded at its depth. Meditation gives us access to that

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<v Speaker 1>inner field of silence and freedom. I want to tell

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<v Speaker 1>you a story about a single mom, Jesse, who I

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<v Speaker 1>taught to meditate just before the pandemic hit. She took

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<v Speaker 1>to the meditation right away. We connected by phone a

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<v Speaker 1>few weeks ago. How are you doing? I asked. Jesse

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<v Speaker 1>paused for a moment, and then told me about a

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<v Speaker 1>friend who asked her the same question. The friend was

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<v Speaker 1>concerned Jesse is normally a very dynamic person, and now

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<v Speaker 1>she was essentially locked away with her eight year old

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<v Speaker 1>daughter and a cat. How are you doing, the friend asked,

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<v Speaker 1>sounding worried. Jesse thought for a moment and said, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>doing well. I'm actually happy. The woman seemed surprised and

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<v Speaker 1>asked why, looking for a specific reason that might account

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<v Speaker 1>for Jesse's inexplicable good feelings, like did she get a

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<v Speaker 1>job promotion or did her daughter do well on an exam.

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<v Speaker 1>Jesse thought again, shrugged her shoulders, and said, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know why I feel good. I just do. It's probably

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<v Speaker 1>the best I felt in a long time. When Jesse

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<v Speaker 1>recounted the story to me, she laughed, It's got to

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<v Speaker 1>be the meditation, nothing else. Good has happened in my

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<v Speaker 1>life since the shutdown. Jesse's experience of feeling good is

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<v Speaker 1>not merely a passing mood. During her meditation, there's a

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<v Speaker 1>marked decrease in the stress hormone cortisol, and increases in

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<v Speaker 1>the happiness neurotransmitter serotonin and the well being hormone prolactin.

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<v Speaker 1>But really, ultimately, Jesse felt good because she experienced a

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<v Speaker 1>very real inner peace, silence, happiness, and freedom during her meditation.

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<v Speaker 1>It's such an extraordinary experience because it's both unique and familiar,

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<v Speaker 1>and fortunately it's accessible to everyone, rich or poor, educated

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<v Speaker 1>or not, skeptic or believer. My takeaway and health tip

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<v Speaker 1>is this, learn to meditate, learn to transcend as soon

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<v Speaker 1>as you can. Then you can begin to enjoy the

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<v Speaker 1>bliss of solitude any day every day. In fact, you

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<v Speaker 1>can enjoy it sitting up in your bed, meditating in

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<v Speaker 1>your pajamas, before you get ready to start work or

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<v Speaker 1>before your kids wake up. To conclude, I want to

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<v Speaker 1>share with you the words of two poets who describe

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<v Speaker 1>the blessings of solitude so well. The first is from

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<v Speaker 1>Emily Dickinson. In her poem here, Emily describes the ordinary

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<v Speaker 1>solitude she feels when she's alone in the world, and

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<v Speaker 1>compares it to the more profound solitude she feels when

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<v Speaker 1>her soul regains its truth self. There is a solitude

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<v Speaker 1>of space, a solitude of sea, a solitude of death,

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<v Speaker 1>But these society shall be compared with that profounder site,

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<v Speaker 1>that polar privacy, a soul admitted to itself, finite infinity.

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<v Speaker 1>And second the poem Daffodils by William Wordsworth, where he

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<v Speaker 1>describes the bliss of solitude for oft, when on my

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<v Speaker 1>couch I lie in vacant or in pensive mood, they

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<v Speaker 1>flash upon that inward eye, which is the bliss of solitude.

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<v Speaker 1>And then my heart with pleasure, fills and dances with

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<v Speaker 1>the daffodils. All right, thank you for joining me today.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope you heard something that inspires, that uplifts you

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<v Speaker 1>and that you can incorporate into your own life. This

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<v Speaker 1>is Bob Roth. Stay calm m hey, all of you

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<v Speaker 1>out there. I'd love to hear from you. You can

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<v Speaker 1>send me your stories, your questions, or anything else on

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<v Speaker 1>your mind. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook or

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<v Speaker 1>Instagram at Meditation Bob. You can also send me an

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<v Speaker 1>email at meditation Bob Roth at gmail dot com. I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to hearing from you