Speaker 1: Welcome to Go ask Ali, a production of Shonda Land
Speaker 1: Audio and partnership with I Heart Radio. I don't think
Speaker 1: that there's some one soul mate. It's not like there's one.
Speaker 1: Although bon Jovi is my soul mate, there's always exceptions.
Speaker 1: Are you saying that gossiping is the same as if
Speaker 1: I'm picking lice out of your scalp and eating it. Well,
Speaker 1: you've done both. So what do you think? I want
Speaker 1: to give her too much? I don't like her to
Speaker 1: come in with an inflated head, So we won't mentioned
Speaker 1: the Golden Globe. After all we've been through. We deserve
Speaker 1: an orgasm. Cis I deserved? Welcome back to Go ask Ali.
Speaker 1: I'm Ali Wentworth. It's season two and this time I'm
Speaker 1: digging into everything I can get my hands on, peeling
Speaker 1: back the layers and getting dirty. You know, I'm a
Speaker 1: big clamor. I love to go out in the bay
Speaker 1: with my clamming fork and my net, and I love
Speaker 1: it because I go deeper and deeper into the sand
Speaker 1: and always pull up these little nuggets. And I've decided
Speaker 1: to use that in my life in general. So that's
Speaker 1: what we're doing this season. We're digging into topics, topics
Speaker 1: that I find interesting, that you find interesting, and find
Speaker 1: different angles in ways to talk about them. What is
Speaker 1: also new for season two is you. Throughout the season,
Speaker 1: we'll be sprinkling questions from you, my listeners, and I'll
Speaker 1: be answering them. Right here, here's Ruth, Hi Ali, I'd
Speaker 1: love to get some expert advice about health families can
Speaker 1: best balance aging parents while working to raise and care
Speaker 1: for their own media families. My parents live in their
Speaker 1: happy place near Lake in South Carolina. My sister and
Speaker 1: I are invested with our lives here in the Midwest, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, is where they raised us. A move
Speaker 1: of them is out of the question that health issues
Speaker 1: are becoming continual. I hate to ask this, Ali, but
Speaker 1: who trump foods hold our families and there four kids
Speaker 1: need us? Thank you, Ruth. First of all, I am
Speaker 1: going through this right now. I don't think anybody wins.
Speaker 1: I think it's about balance, like anything else in life,
Speaker 1: like careers and families and kids and aging parents. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's a tough position because you're kind of sandwiched in
Speaker 1: between being a parent to your kids and being a
Speaker 1: parent to your parents. Both my parents live far away
Speaker 1: from me and what I have found the best thing
Speaker 1: to do is check in with them a lot, make
Speaker 1: sure their needs are being met. You'll find that you're
Speaker 1: going to have to be in control of if they
Speaker 1: need any care, if they need to be assisted living,
Speaker 1: or if they need somebody if they're aging at home
Speaker 1: to help care for them. You have to make sure
Speaker 1: their medical needs are met. Sometimes I've had to travel
Speaker 1: to my parents to make sure they go to the
Speaker 1: right doctors or just to be with them for emotional support.
Speaker 1: But the most important thing is I think you teach
Speaker 1: your children how it is to care for aging parents.
Speaker 1: My daughters are certainly watching me go through it, so
Speaker 1: hopefully they'll know how to handle it when I'm aging.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Ruth. I hope that how helps. I could
Speaker 1: really do a whole podcast on the subject. Anyway, To
Speaker 1: all the listeners out there, keep your questions coming. The
Speaker 1: phone number and email will be at the end of
Speaker 1: every episode and in all of the show notes. So
Speaker 1: to kick off this fabulous season, I want to talk
Speaker 1: about something I think about all the time, aging aging
Speaker 1: in this country, which is not easy. Last season I
Speaker 1: spoke with Dr Frank Lippman about how to take care
Speaker 1: of our bodies as we age, and today it's about
Speaker 1: aging gracefully on the inside. And luckily I got the
Speaker 1: best guest on this topic, Martha Beck. Dr. Martha Beck
Speaker 1: is a best selling author, life coach, and speaker known
Speaker 1: for her unique combination of science, humor, which I of
Speaker 1: course love, and spirituality, which of course I need more of.
Speaker 1: Her written work includes several New York Times and international bestsellers,
Speaker 1: as well as over a hundred and fifty magazine articles.
Speaker 1: She holds three Harvard degrees in social science, and Oprah
Speaker 1: Winfrey has called her one of the smartest women I know. Well,
Speaker 1: that is high praise. NPR and USA Today have proclaimed
Speaker 1: her as the best known life coach in America. Martha's
Speaker 1: newest book, The Way of Integrity, Finding the Path your
Speaker 1: True Self, was an instant New York Times bestseller. Jesus,
Speaker 1: how do you follow that? All? Right? So, Martha Beck, again,
Speaker 1: I told you before we started recording, I could really
Speaker 1: talk to you about a million things, And I'm going
Speaker 1: to send you a huge case of ice cream when
Speaker 1: we're done, in the hopes you'll come back and talk
Speaker 1: about other things any time. But Martha Beck, I am
Speaker 1: fascinated by aging in America. I think we are not
Speaker 1: kind to people over a certain age in our country
Speaker 1: as opposed to other countries in the world. And also
Speaker 1: I want to talk about how what aging is to
Speaker 1: us personally. I think we get fascinated, particularly as women,
Speaker 1: on the exterior of ourselves when it comes to the
Speaker 1: aging process. I know, everybody's nip and tucking and poking
Speaker 1: and syringing and going on fat diets and if you
Speaker 1: eat this, you know, mushroom and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: Nothing makes me more exciting than reading a new potion
Speaker 1: that's going to help me stay young. But I think
Speaker 1: a lot of it is internal, and I think you
Speaker 1: do too. So let's dive in with your kind of
Speaker 1: big brushstroke about what you think about aging, and then
Speaker 1: we're gonna sort of dig into the minutia of all that. Well.
Speaker 1: I was reading a memoir by Tibetan monk, and he
Speaker 1: was one of these guys that is reincarnated, so they
Speaker 1: recognize him as a llama when he's too and take
Speaker 1: him off to be trained. So by the time he
Speaker 1: was like thirteen, he was already giving wise counsel to
Speaker 1: American middle aged women. And this middleized American women came
Speaker 1: and started going on about how tragic aging was and
Speaker 1: how she was getting wrinkled and everything, and he said
Speaker 1: he could not understand it. It was like, in my culture,
Speaker 1: the wisdom of age is so covenant, and every wrinkle
Speaker 1: is like a sign that makes people bow to you
Speaker 1: more deeply, and people rejoice in their maturation of the
Speaker 1: soul in an an individual body, and then they think
Speaker 1: they just go on to a new one. So it's
Speaker 1: in a big deal that the old one wore out.
Speaker 1: And it was really interesting to see the complete cultural
Speaker 1: bafflement that he was in, Like, it really isn't just
Speaker 1: that other cultures pretend to feel differently about aging. We
Speaker 1: feel worse about aging than almost any other culture that's
Speaker 1: ever been in the world. Therefore completely missed the benefits
Speaker 1: of aging, because you can't access the benefits of aging
Speaker 1: if you're resisting the aging process itself. So what it
Speaker 1: is for me is I like, look at the new
Speaker 1: me every morning. It is like, what fresh hell is this?
Speaker 1: And then I got all right, well, all right, go deeper.
Speaker 1: What's happening? What have I got to show with this
Speaker 1: new bag and wrinkle? And yeah, without exception, I can
Speaker 1: sit down and think of something that I am slightly
Speaker 1: wiser about today than I was yesterday. And what I've
Speaker 1: lost in youth and vigor, I've gained in wisdom and experience.
Speaker 1: And here's the biggest thing. I'm really not afraid of dying. Well,
Speaker 1: that I think is key. I think a big piece
Speaker 1: of this is our relayationship with mortality, because you know
Speaker 1: the fact that the monks and so many other religions
Speaker 1: believe in reincarnation, and so that you know, for somebody
Speaker 1: who maybe doesn't think that we're reincarnated, or someone has
Speaker 1: gone to an oppressive Christian all girls boarding school, you
Speaker 1: start to go, oh, well, this is it. I'm going
Speaker 1: to die and worms are going to eat me. So
Speaker 1: how do I make this last as long as I can? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And I was obsessed with that from the moment I
Speaker 1: was about five when I saw a cat get hit
Speaker 1: by a car and die and it was my introduction
Speaker 1: to death. And I didn't sleep for like another ten years.
Speaker 1: I mean, no one's ever been more horrified by death
Speaker 1: than I was. And then I got to the place
Speaker 1: where it's like, I can't stand the anticipation of death.
Speaker 1: Why don't I just get off the bus right now.
Speaker 1: So there was the whole suicidal era. That was an era.
Speaker 1: Oh lord, Yes, it was like age maybe six to
Speaker 1: about thirty two. Not that Ily was suicidal after the
Speaker 1: age of twenty nine. But something happened to me in
Speaker 1: a surgery when I was twenty nine. I've written about
Speaker 1: it in this last book, and it's not I wasn't dead.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a near death experience, but it's similar to
Speaker 1: what people talk about in near death experiences where they're
Speaker 1: unconscious but then they can sit up and look around
Speaker 1: and they see their body. That's what happened to me.
Speaker 1: I saw my body lying down and I was sitting up,
Speaker 1: and then I was really confused, and I sort of
Speaker 1: lay back down and this light appeared between the surgical
Speaker 1: lights that was so much brighter than the surgical lights,
Speaker 1: and it grew and it touched me and it seemed
Speaker 1: to sort of fill me up, and it was the
Speaker 1: most exquisite thing I had ever imagined, and I just
Speaker 1: kept thinking home, Home, Home. And basically all it was
Speaker 1: there to do is to say, your goal is not
Speaker 1: to get to some death realm and then maybe get
Speaker 1: to heaven and feel like this. The meaning of your
Speaker 1: life is to feel the way you feel right now,
Speaker 1: but while you're in this body. And that was the
Speaker 1: time I started my policy of never lying, because lying
Speaker 1: didn't feel the way I had felt in that surgery.
Speaker 1: Anything that didn't feel that way had to go. My
Speaker 1: family of origin, my marriage, from job, everything sort of
Speaker 1: went in the bond fire. But as a result, I
Speaker 1: lost all my fear of death. So now aging to
Speaker 1: me is kind of exciting. It's like, not only am
Speaker 1: I better at what I'm doing here, aside from the
Speaker 1: fact that I'm decrepit, but oh my goodness, mate, Like,
Speaker 1: there are so many ways to experience joy that I
Speaker 1: haven't gotten to it yet, and I believe that they're here,
Speaker 1: there and everywhere, And it puts me at such ease.
Speaker 1: It's so interesting you're saying that because I knew a woman.
Speaker 1: Her name was Mona, and I actually wrote about her
Speaker 1: in one of my books. And this is a woman
Speaker 1: in her early sixties, and when I met her, I
Speaker 1: thought she was the most fabulous woman I had ever met.
Speaker 1: She had such zest for life, She loved talking to people,
Speaker 1: She was fascinated by everything. She enjoyed life, food, friendship,
Speaker 1: and I remember thinking, I want to be just like Mona.
Speaker 1: I mean, Mona is life to me, full vitality. Mona
Speaker 1: got cancer and died sort of mid sixties, and I
Speaker 1: remember when she was dying, I would bring things to
Speaker 1: her and she used to say, oh God, I can't
Speaker 1: eat sugar because of this fucking cancer, but I I
Speaker 1: sure love desserts, and so my family we would bring
Speaker 1: her cupcakes with flowers and she loved to have it
Speaker 1: all around her. My point is, this is a woman
Speaker 1: that I can't even describe her body or her wrinkles
Speaker 1: because that they were so beyond and above the point
Speaker 1: of my story. But she was such a beautiful person
Speaker 1: on the inside that she was literally radiant even when
Speaker 1: she was going in chemo, and it just she was
Speaker 1: aged defying and that had a huge impact on me.
Speaker 1: And when I think about aging, particularly for women our age,
Speaker 1: I think about how, like I said at the beginning,
Speaker 1: so there's so much focus on the exterior, but I
Speaker 1: am a different person than I was in my twenties. Yes,
Speaker 1: I wish I had my ass and my skin from
Speaker 1: my twenties, but I wouldn't give up everything I know now,
Speaker 1: you know, I wouldn't give up the things that make
Speaker 1: me aspire to be Mona. So I wish that everybody
Speaker 1: had a Moona in their life. And I think you're Amona,
Speaker 1: and I think that you're helping a lot of people
Speaker 1: with that because when you see it, when it's personified,
Speaker 1: you know that light in a person, you go, oh,
Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. Which is not to
Speaker 1: take away from anything you need to do on the
Speaker 1: exterior to make yourself feel good, but I do think
Speaker 1: that our own inner life is a huge part of it. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: let's go through some of the mental habits, influences, attitudes
Speaker 1: that we can take. Because just you telling the story
Speaker 1: about how you blew up, it sounds like your marriage.
Speaker 1: You re evaluated your life. Everything I want to hear
Speaker 1: about that. Tell me about that, because I actually have
Speaker 1: a couple of people in my life that I think
Speaker 1: are really toxic that make me feel bad. I think
Speaker 1: we could probably do a little spring cleaning in terms
Speaker 1: of that. So tell me your experience with all this. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I had this transcendent experience and it was what
Speaker 1: you say, It was this radiance, and I knew that
Speaker 1: it was also part of me. There's like I have
Speaker 1: many Scottish ancestors, and there's the word glamour comes from
Speaker 1: a Scottish word that did not mean beauty. It meant
Speaker 1: the ability to project beauty, whether you're beautiful or not.
Speaker 1: Its spelled g l A M M e R. This
Speaker 1: light was full of glamour, and I came out and
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I'm just going to feel the
Speaker 1: way that made me feel. And what I learned really
Speaker 1: quickly was I couldn't lie with my words or my
Speaker 1: behavior without that glamor going down. And I wasn't doing
Speaker 1: it to try to project radiance. I was doing it
Speaker 1: to feel happy, which I had never done before, and
Speaker 1: so it was very, very motivating. So I would talk
Speaker 1: to my parents and I would start to feel really dreadful,
Speaker 1: and I would have to say, okay, I'm going to
Speaker 1: talk to them less, and finally stopped talking to them
Speaker 1: at all, which was convenient because I started remembering being
Speaker 1: sexually abused as a child, and my no lie as
Speaker 1: she meant that I went to a therapist, which I
Speaker 1: was not supposed to do in my family. So I
Speaker 1: lost my whole family of origin, which was this monstrous
Speaker 1: Mormon family. I mean big I was gonna say, if
Speaker 1: you're from a Mormon family, that sounds like a lot
Speaker 1: of people. One of eight children, baby, Um. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was a lot of people to be angry at me
Speaker 1: at the same time. And also at the time, I
Speaker 1: was living in Utah, so that was like, okay, now
Speaker 1: I'm leaving home. Then I realized I was gay. Oops,
Speaker 1: so they went my marriage, but I couldn't lie about it,
Speaker 1: and so I a lot of relationships went away. Something
Speaker 1: back later, lots and lots of I mean, it was
Speaker 1: just layers of the onion to get through my own falsehoods.
Speaker 1: But I did notice that as I got to a
Speaker 1: more raw places, a more tender, honest place, people started
Speaker 1: telling me that I came across as more shiny, which
Speaker 1: was bewildering to me. But I've seen it now in
Speaker 1: so many women and men, and it's real. I just
Speaker 1: write a book on near death experiences, but not from
Speaker 1: the perspective of the dead person, from the others, and
Speaker 1: one of of things that happens is people see the
Speaker 1: dying person started to physically shine. And this is hundreds
Speaker 1: and hundreds and hundreds of cases of people who are
Speaker 1: in their right minds. If you can shine as you're
Speaker 1: going to death, you can shine as you go in
Speaker 1: through middle age, right, Like, why not start now? That's interesting.
Speaker 1: My uh stepfather died during COVID and he was ninety nine.
Speaker 1: But he loved life. I mean, he loved life and
Speaker 1: he was shining at the last few days of his death.
Speaker 1: I mean, he held my mother in his arms and
Speaker 1: was incredibly sweet and and loved a good joke and
Speaker 1: you know, told my mom she still had a great rack.
Speaker 1: I mean, all the things, you know. And that's something
Speaker 1: again that I look at and went, wow, that is
Speaker 1: that's a life there that he was able to have
Speaker 1: joy to the very end. And I think, and I
Speaker 1: think you've written about this, that our culture teaches us
Speaker 1: to age miserably. Aging is a horrible thing in our culture.
Speaker 1: It's something to be embarrassed about. It's something to be
Speaker 1: shunned about. It's a certain point you had written about
Speaker 1: the difference between elders and olders. Can you talk about that.
Speaker 1: Elders are the people who are socialized in those cultures
Speaker 1: that love the elderly, They're the ones that, for example,
Speaker 1: non written languages depended completely on the older people to
Speaker 1: remember everything about everything from plant medicine to how to
Speaker 1: heal a broken heart. So the older you were, the
Speaker 1: more people came to you, the more people respected you.
Speaker 1: And we've lost that completely in our culture and instead
Speaker 1: everything has become about material wealth, material substance and the
Speaker 1: material beauty of the body. And it's a cultural lie
Speaker 1: that feels like a lie. When you start to tell
Speaker 1: your own truth, you can start to bump into aspects
Speaker 1: of the culture around aging, like I should be ashamed
Speaker 1: of this, I should feel bad, and you can start
Speaker 1: to feel that it has the texture of a lie.
Speaker 1: If you start telling the absolute truth, it becomes really apparent,
Speaker 1: and then the whole culture it turns out to be
Speaker 1: wrong about it, and you can be the only one
Speaker 1: in step. And when you get that internally, then the
Speaker 1: glamour starts and then people start telling you you look good.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, they just do it. There's a
Speaker 1: lot more to come after this short break, welcome back.
Speaker 1: It's interesting when you think of everything that's in books
Speaker 1: and film and operas. You know, the idea has always
Speaker 1: been that you would go to the wise man or
Speaker 1: the wise woman. You know, who came in many forms,
Speaker 1: amongk a priest, a guru. You went to them to
Speaker 1: have life affirmation and wisdom. You didn't go to a
Speaker 1: you know, a twenty one year old influencer on Instagram
Speaker 1: to get your advice. Now it's Google. Yeah, now it's Google.
Speaker 1: It used to be almost all cultures that those were
Speaker 1: the people that would share this credible wisdom with you,
Speaker 1: but not anymore. When you ask about older and elder,
Speaker 1: so you can actually feel the difference between being older
Speaker 1: and being elder in any given moment and the way
Speaker 1: you can do it. I just had foot surgery and
Speaker 1: I couldn't walk for two months, and I was an
Speaker 1: absolute drain on everyone's resources and I was really like
Speaker 1: a lot of pain. And the thing that interested me
Speaker 1: was I watched my body get more decrepit and weak
Speaker 1: and like the leg atrophying, and I would feel so old.
Speaker 1: And then I would listen to the stories that were
Speaker 1: going into my head. Okay, my life will never recover.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's an old lady leg all these things,
Speaker 1: and then I would say, no, that's old energy. It's old,
Speaker 1: and that it's defunct and it's old, and that it's
Speaker 1: related to aging. And I would say, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I get to do absolutely nothing, and this bolt of
Speaker 1: joy would run through me and I would command someone
Speaker 1: to bring me something. I mean, I would go from
Speaker 1: being older and decrepit to being like in absolute joy
Speaker 1: and delight. You can go back and forth by shifting.
Speaker 1: It's that you're shifting between the left and right hemispheres
Speaker 1: of your brain. If you want to know technically what's happening.
Speaker 1: It's an electrical phenomenon. It's not like spooky. But once
Speaker 1: you learn the feeling of it, you can shift from older,
Speaker 1: which lives in the left hemisphere of the brain too, elder,
Speaker 1: which is in the right hemisphere, which actually doesn't even
Speaker 1: track time. And you can physically see it in yourself
Speaker 1: or in someone else when you make that shift. All right,
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you an example right now. I
Speaker 1: have a eighty six year old mother who, as I said,
Speaker 1: my stepfather died and she's alone. And I've noticed that
Speaker 1: when she sort of falls victim to that aging, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh. You know, she takes to her bed, she's
Speaker 1: feels all kinds of pain and ailments. But if you
Speaker 1: can distract her, you know, if you can give her
Speaker 1: a placebo or you can say, like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: the blueberries are out, let's go picking, and you get
Speaker 1: her out of that mindset. You know, she's up and
Speaker 1: getting dressed and picking blueberries. I mean, if I use
Speaker 1: my mother as aience experiment, I can see how the
Speaker 1: mental state changes her physical well being in some ways.
Speaker 1: It's if you fall prey to the old decrepit scenario.
Speaker 1: It is easy to take to your bed and you know,
Speaker 1: have warm milk and you know watch MSNBC for the
Speaker 1: rest of your days. Absolutely, I'm putting you on that
Speaker 1: quote online. I use my mother as a science experiment.
Speaker 1: Dash Ali Wentworth. Why not? I mean, there's a look
Speaker 1: I and I adore my mother and I've learned from
Speaker 1: her at every step of my life. Marriage, whatever it
Speaker 1: is that she went through, I mean she did it
Speaker 1: a lot before I did. And now I'm watching her
Speaker 1: as a woman in her eighties and I'm thinking what
Speaker 1: do I want to keep and what do I not
Speaker 1: want to keep? As I watch her go through this
Speaker 1: process and some of the things are incredibly painful. She's
Speaker 1: lost all her best girlfriends, which you know is a
Speaker 1: who She says, who do I call? And I said,
Speaker 1: call me or or my sisters. But there's other things
Speaker 1: that I mind sort of reinvigorate my idea about aging.
Speaker 1: When she lives up to her potential, meaning where she
Speaker 1: puts that aging, you know, we have to be miserable, decrepred,
Speaker 1: can't do anything out to past your idea away. She
Speaker 1: is the most intelligent, impressive woman in the world. I mean,
Speaker 1: and she was in her earlier life and she still is.
Speaker 1: And so when she gets up and starts, you know,
Speaker 1: writing her next book, or she can do a vegetable
Speaker 1: garden like nobody else in the world, I go, yes,
Speaker 1: that is my takeaway from my mother. Well, you're you're
Speaker 1: bringing up in my mind an archetype that is really
Speaker 1: useful to me, and that is the archetype of the
Speaker 1: crazy old bat. Okay, yes, So unfortunately for me, I
Speaker 1: never had looks to lose. That's a really hard one
Speaker 1: for people who are glamorous and beautiful like you. Oh
Speaker 1: you're very sweet. I have been worn makeup in two
Speaker 1: years go aheads. But as you get older. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you've heard this may be a cliche rule,
Speaker 1: I've heard it from you, but please say it because
Speaker 1: it does make me feel good. When you're twenty year
Speaker 1: obsessed with it. What everyone else is thinking about you.
Speaker 1: When you're forty, you stop caring so much what everyone
Speaker 1: else is thinking about you, and when you're sixty you
Speaker 1: realize no one was ever thinking about you. So then
Speaker 1: you can act like a crazy old beat and you
Speaker 1: can get a lot of mileage and joy out of
Speaker 1: just not caring what people think once you realize they're
Speaker 1: not looking at you. And I remember when I was writing.
Speaker 1: One day, I was writing a memoir and I wrote
Speaker 1: something about my son who has Down syndrome, and in
Speaker 1: the book I I wrote, my reality is that I
Speaker 1: live with a zen master, and then I went back
Speaker 1: to fix it so people wouldn't be offended, and I wrote,
Speaker 1: if you disagree with me, and I was going to say,
Speaker 1: you know, I I totally take your point, and instead
Speaker 1: I found myself typing I respectfully do not care. And
Speaker 1: that was such a landing place for me. And people
Speaker 1: come to me now and they will say negative things,
Speaker 1: and I think, I, respectfully do not give a crap
Speaker 1: what you think because I'm a crazy old bat now
Speaker 1: and you can't stop me. That's great. And do you
Speaker 1: really believe that you don't get hurt if you're a
Speaker 1: crazy old bat not if you take the attitude of
Speaker 1: a crazy old bat. It's not that you have the
Speaker 1: costume of a crazy old bat. I think you aren't
Speaker 1: genuinely a crazy old bath. Crazy old bats do not
Speaker 1: give a flying what. I don't know what fuck say it.
Speaker 1: Fuck give a flying fuck what anybody thinks. And it's
Speaker 1: the genuineness. It's like method acting. You can't just pretend
Speaker 1: to be a crazy old bat. You have to buy it.
Speaker 1: You have to be like I will wear purple and
Speaker 1: spending all my money on hats and say we have
Speaker 1: done for butter and like really go there, and people
Speaker 1: cannot resist the energy of the old bat. You see
Speaker 1: them from time to time. They all come in all
Speaker 1: different shapes. You know, some of them are dressed like
Speaker 1: Stevie Nicks. But they do have power to them, that
Speaker 1: is for sure. You may have seen multiple movie or
Speaker 1: TV things, and this is true that when a crazy
Speaker 1: old bat shows up, even young man who are you
Speaker 1: know infamously the rough and Tumble group, will calm down.
Speaker 1: I remember reading a story and the news, like twenty
Speaker 1: years ago, this man broke into an elder woman's window,
Speaker 1: into her bedroom and tried to rape her, and she
Speaker 1: was like seventy five, and she grabbed him by the
Speaker 1: scrotum and she twisted it as hard as she could,
Speaker 1: and she dragged him outside, lecturing him all the way,
Speaker 1: and pushed him through the door and said, do not
Speaker 1: come back. And of course he ran screaming. Now that
Speaker 1: is something only a crazy old bat could do. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. Nobody at twenty could do that. It's
Speaker 1: funny because I have a very close friend and she
Speaker 1: said to me once, I said, you know what, I
Speaker 1: can't even look at zoom anymore. I'm just looking at
Speaker 1: my neck. I'm looking at this, I'm looking at that.
Speaker 1: She goes Elle, sexy. Sexy's over, honey, we're big straw
Speaker 1: hats and we're growing tomatoes now. And I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess you're right. I guess I'm going to wear
Speaker 1: a big straw hat and grow tomatoes. And I'm okay
Speaker 1: with that. Actually, it takes the pressure off. And here's
Speaker 1: the thing. When you're really in to the crazy old
Speaker 1: bat mentality, you're really in to the straw hat and
Speaker 1: the tomatoes, the glamor begins. I know this woman who's
Speaker 1: very she's like a spiritual teacher, and name is Byron Katie,
Speaker 1: and she's in the mid seventies now, and I was
Speaker 1: visiting her and her husband, and she went in the
Speaker 1: other room and I said to him, I said, Stephen,
Speaker 1: it's so weird. As she gets through her seventies, Katie
Speaker 1: is becoming more and more physically beautiful. And I don't
Speaker 1: mean compensating for aging. I mean she's physically getting more beautiful.
Speaker 1: And from the other room, Katie says, I know, isn't
Speaker 1: it weird? That's crazy, little bad energy. It's actually divine.
Speaker 1: It's actually it's countercultural for sure. Yeah, because all crazy
Speaker 1: is countercultural. But everything comes from the gods through a
Speaker 1: countercultural conduit, so why not be that. I agree with that.
Speaker 1: And I also thought about a few years ago, I
Speaker 1: had a sist to no varyan cist, and they had
Speaker 1: to take out my ovaries, and I remember being really
Speaker 1: upset about that because I thought, it's truly hit me that,
Speaker 1: you know, I can't now have more babies, and you know,
Speaker 1: something's being taken away from me and maybe I will
Speaker 1: be a sexy and you know, because again I think
Speaker 1: that there's a label that happens to us when we're
Speaker 1: no longer allowed to procreate. That we're useless, right, and
Speaker 1: so um I had to That was like a big
Speaker 1: hurdle to get over because I thought I'm not useless
Speaker 1: because I had some kids, Like I'm done anyway. It's
Speaker 1: not like whatever late forties going, Oh, I can't wait
Speaker 1: to have another baby. I mean, you know, George was like,
Speaker 1: don't get near me. It's an onion skin of cultural
Speaker 1: attitudes towards everything from our ovaries to our you know,
Speaker 1: our hair coator. Like every little thing we experience, culture
Speaker 1: goes in and goes after it, and it is not
Speaker 1: kind to middle aged older women in the modern world.
Speaker 1: And there's nothing there that is kind. So you have
Speaker 1: to burst through culture and that becomes a gift because
Speaker 1: the culture will keep you hog tied and miserable with
Speaker 1: all its various lies. And it's when you burst through
Speaker 1: that into the glamour, into the radiance, whatever that happens
Speaker 1: to be. It's really all over the world people have
Speaker 1: talked about light and radiance emitting from people as beautiful
Speaker 1: or emitting from nature itself, and that lies beyond culture.
Speaker 1: And every single thing you you do, from dental work,
Speaker 1: getting a surgery, everything can take you down the death
Speaker 1: road of culture, and when it makes you suffer, you
Speaker 1: just say that is a lie. It's like the Buddha
Speaker 1: looking at every demon and saying you are illusion, you
Speaker 1: are a lie, and then you burst through to the
Speaker 1: truth of that and it feels like light and it
Speaker 1: looks like light. I also think there needs to be
Speaker 1: a shift in our sort of culture and film and everything,
Speaker 1: because this is an age old argument. But you can
Speaker 1: have Michael Douglas as as the husband and Gwyneth Paltrow
Speaker 1: as a wife, but if it's the other way around,
Speaker 1: it's gross. But in Europe, I've known many men that
Speaker 1: had affairs with women twenty five years older them, and
Speaker 1: it was it was sexy, and it was you know,
Speaker 1: they learned about women and it was kind of this
Speaker 1: romantic thing which we don't have. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: there should be a shift a little bit. Sometimes the
Speaker 1: crazy old, you know hat lady could also be kind
Speaker 1: of a sexy older woman that can actually teach you
Speaker 1: a thing or two. Absolutely, because it's it's vitality we're
Speaker 1: talking about. Exactly. In our culture, we say that vitality
Speaker 1: has an inverse relationship with age. It goes down as
Speaker 1: we age. That is simply a lie. It can increase
Speaker 1: as we age. I knew a man who died if
Speaker 1: locked in syndrome where he went into Parkinson's and then froze,
Speaker 1: and it took him like two years to die. And
Speaker 1: you would think that that would be the ultimate destructive situation.
Speaker 1: And this man was very bulliant while he was younger,
Speaker 1: and he went into this gradual paralysis by increasing his joy.
Speaker 1: I don't know how he did it, but by the
Speaker 1: end he was just absolutely luminous. And I remember going
Speaker 1: in and grabbing him and just kneeling down by his
Speaker 1: wheelchair and just hanging onto him and feeling his vitality
Speaker 1: just energized me. And I took a lot away from
Speaker 1: that experience. I'm like, that's the power of the human
Speaker 1: nervous system when it's really flipped on. Like a magnetometer
Speaker 1: can measure the electromagnetic energy coming from us ten feet
Speaker 1: away and then it's two weeks, but it goes on forever.
Speaker 1: If we amp that up. It's a genuine physical force.
Speaker 1: And I felt it coming from him, and it was
Speaker 1: I was like, that's what I want to do. That's amazing.
Speaker 1: And tell me about you wrote about how we're all seven.
Speaker 1: Do you remember that. Yeah. I was lying there in
Speaker 1: shivasana on my bathroom floor, probably just sleeping it off,
Speaker 1: but I was thinking, Okay, it's really weird that this
Speaker 1: body had three children. I was like in my forties.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, is that true? Is it true? No,
Speaker 1: because once every seven years, every atom in our body
Speaker 1: gets flipped out for another atom, and it's a completely
Speaker 1: new thing, like this body. None of the body that
Speaker 1: I have now was present when my children were born,
Speaker 1: not a single atom. And that led me to, well,
Speaker 1: then what am I? And what you come to is
Speaker 1: I am a whisp of consciousness around which matters seems
Speaker 1: to accrue for like a few years, and then it stops.
Speaker 1: And so it shifted my identity again from the body
Speaker 1: into the light, into the glamour. And if you live
Speaker 1: in the glamour, you don't fear death because the glamber
Speaker 1: doesn't die, or if it does, it's just so happy
Speaker 1: about it, it it doesn't even care. And you're kind of
Speaker 1: watching your body going, well, that's what it did. But
Speaker 1: even the body is rejuvenated. It's electrical, it's joyful, it's uplifting,
Speaker 1: it's rejuvenating, and people feel it as younger the older
Speaker 1: you get. We're gonna take a short break and we'll
Speaker 1: be right back, and we're back. If I were speaking
Speaker 1: to somebody else about aging, they would say, well, here
Speaker 1: my ideas are hits for how to help the aging process.
Speaker 1: You know, use a vitamin C serum and laid. I
Speaker 1: do that, I do that, you know, I mean, look,
Speaker 1: there is there is the reality of physical health, of course,
Speaker 1: but tell me, Dr Martha Beck, what are the things
Speaker 1: that you can help us all age joyfully in a
Speaker 1: way that only you could tell us? Meaning? Is it yoga?
Speaker 1: Is it? What are the things that you have found
Speaker 1: with all your incredible experiences in your knowledge that help
Speaker 1: you envelope the glamour? Okay, so Ernest Haming White said
Speaker 1: he was born with a built in bullshit detector. We
Speaker 1: all are, and the problem is that we turn it
Speaker 1: off really early in our lives. So people tell us,
Speaker 1: you know, you need to go to school, and we're like, okay,
Speaker 1: when the truth is bullshit. And then they say, you know,
Speaker 1: you look better in blue, or you should always wear
Speaker 1: heels or something, and we say, okay, when the truth
Speaker 1: is bullshit, recognize your bullshit detector. And then every time
Speaker 1: you have a negative thought about the aging process. Feel
Speaker 1: with your bullshit detector. Which part of that is bullshit?
Speaker 1: Because any part of it that says you're getting worse
Speaker 1: is a lie. That's my experience after thirty years of
Speaker 1: coaching people. So it's get your bullshit detector and get
Speaker 1: it honed, and listen to it, and then apply it
Speaker 1: to anything that tells you you should feel bad about agent. Okay,
Speaker 1: get rid of the bullshit. Now you got rid of
Speaker 1: bullshit in a macro way because you left your origin family,
Speaker 1: you came out, you left your husband. Give me a
Speaker 1: few other biggies that you've done that have helped you.
Speaker 1: So here's the thing. Every culture around the world says
Speaker 1: that the truth will set you free. And that's what
Speaker 1: I mean by the bullshit detector, and I mean when
Speaker 1: you get it really hung I'll never forget the day
Speaker 1: I picked up a cup of coffee, which I had
Speaker 1: every day for since I left Mormonism, and I took
Speaker 1: a sip of it and my body said, no, absolutely not,
Speaker 1: and I tried to keep drinking it. No, that is
Speaker 1: not for you. Bullshit. It's gonna make me feel better, bullshit.
Speaker 1: I can't drink coffee anymore. Okay. So then I go
Speaker 1: and I was vegan and my doctor said this is
Speaker 1: killing you. You need meat, and my body did not
Speaker 1: say bullshit. So I started eating high fat food and
Speaker 1: my body said, yes, the low fat thing was bullshit
Speaker 1: for you. Like that feeling of this is right for me.
Speaker 1: It glows in the body. It feels like the light
Speaker 1: shining through the body, and it's delicious. It's a sense
Speaker 1: of vibrant deliciousness. And if you get really particular, like
Speaker 1: I started to go to bed early just because it
Speaker 1: felt like bullshit to stay up later, you know, I
Speaker 1: get so much sleep now because the bullshit detector works
Speaker 1: on everything. And that's why I wrote the last book,
Speaker 1: because it's the most elegant solution to every single problem,
Speaker 1: and it's applied to behaviors as well. Take two medicine,
Speaker 1: See which one feels like bullshit, Like, ask your doctor
Speaker 1: and then trust your your insides, and it will take
Speaker 1: you to the healthiest root, or at least to the
Speaker 1: right most joyful route for you through life. And if
Speaker 1: you don't have the most joyful route through life, who
Speaker 1: cares how you look or what other people think? You know,
Speaker 1: So what's the different between listening to your gut and
Speaker 1: tracking bullshit. To me, there's absolutely no difference because I've
Speaker 1: been doing my integrity cleanses for so long that I
Speaker 1: get really, really immaculate, and I'm constantly saying, is this
Speaker 1: right for me? Is this true for me? Is this right?
Speaker 1: It's every single part of my day. I can't tell
Speaker 1: you how intensely I focus on this, and the result
Speaker 1: has been what looks like good luck, what looks like
Speaker 1: good business, what looks like good health, what looks It's
Speaker 1: just I can't tell you enough how true your instincts are,
Speaker 1: but you have been socialized to ignore them. Yeah, be
Speaker 1: a wild animal, never do anything that a wild animal
Speaker 1: self wouldn't do, and you'll always choose the right way
Speaker 1: to go with your body, and you'll always feel the
Speaker 1: vitality of being that never ages ever see. I think
Speaker 1: that women, particularly have been told what to do and
Speaker 1: what to think their whole lives. So, like you said,
Speaker 1: peeling the onion, it's very hard for us to even
Speaker 1: get to that core to understand what's bullshit or not.
Speaker 1: There have many times in my life where I go,
Speaker 1: I don't know what I think about the death penalty.
Speaker 1: I've never Actually I was told what to think about it,
Speaker 1: but I don't. What do I think about this? What
Speaker 1: do I think about that? I mean even the idea
Speaker 1: of you coming out. It's like I've had so many
Speaker 1: female friends that were gay, but just we're like, well,
Speaker 1: I better get married, right, Well I did that. I
Speaker 1: didn't know I was gay. And may I say that
Speaker 1: if you want to age joyfully and happily as a woman,
Speaker 1: I really would consider becoming a lesbian. For all your
Speaker 1: listeners out there, Oh that's that's gonna piss my husband off. Martha,
Speaker 1: he can be a lesbian. He's awesome. No. It really
Speaker 1: the whole thing with with feminine inferiority um starts in
Speaker 1: the cradle. And I mean in my family, the way
Speaker 1: I always heard it when someone had a baby was
Speaker 1: they got a boy, or it's a girl, but she's
Speaker 1: really cute. That breaks my heart. I put in my
Speaker 1: in my memoir about it. The only thing Mormons want
Speaker 1: from women is that they breed in captivity. And so
Speaker 1: I really got the full treatment, and it made me
Speaker 1: the deeper, the suffering, the harder the pushback. Elizabeth Katie
Speaker 1: Stanton said women have been systematically disappointed in the law
Speaker 1: of the polity and economy, and she said, my life's
Speaker 1: mission is to deepen this disappointment in the hearts of
Speaker 1: women until they will suffer it no longer. And that's
Speaker 1: what happened to me. I just was such an outlier
Speaker 1: culturally that culture nearly killed me and I had to
Speaker 1: push back, and in the process, I think feel more
Speaker 1: free than most of the people I run into. So
Speaker 1: be a wild animal, I'm hearing, be a wild animal.
Speaker 1: Be feral in your life. Be wild. Yeah. I actually
Speaker 1: moved to the woods for six years. On my fiftieth birthday,
Speaker 1: I moved to this little house on the edge of
Speaker 1: a huge national park, and all I did was just
Speaker 1: get up in my pajamas, put on galoshes, and go
Speaker 1: walking through the woods every day because I was a
Speaker 1: crazy old bat right and it was amazing. And I
Speaker 1: would track the bears and I would track the mountain lions,
Speaker 1: and I didn't care if they killed me. And I
Speaker 1: started to feel like they do about their bodies. I think,
Speaker 1: just rejoicing in the experience of being in this particular
Speaker 1: type of machine and seeing how much fun it can have,
Speaker 1: like sexually, with food, with light, with words, with everything,
Speaker 1: how much joy can this machine have now? And what
Speaker 1: I found is that as it loses its ability to
Speaker 1: have some joys, other joys expand exponentially. If what I'm
Speaker 1: hearing is correct, Martha, because I am tapping into this
Speaker 1: big time is I think for all women, we can say,
Speaker 1: whether you live in a high rise building or in
Speaker 1: an adobe hut, if you find those moments that you're
Speaker 1: talking about, where you can do yoga, meditate, take a
Speaker 1: walk in the woods, if you could just sort of
Speaker 1: be alone in yourself, those are the ways you can
Speaker 1: start to discover what you believe is bullshit, it is not.
Speaker 1: You need that quietness that is going to help you
Speaker 1: listen to your gut. One thing I wanted to ask
Speaker 1: you before we go, and I know that everyone's going
Speaker 1: to go out and buy Integrity, because this is just
Speaker 1: but a sampling, a taste of what you will learn
Speaker 1: from that book. And I touched upon it before when
Speaker 1: I talked about my mother. You know, a lot of
Speaker 1: people are dealing with aging parents now, and dealing with
Speaker 1: aging parents when they have children of their own, and
Speaker 1: so I'm sort of in this weird middle zone of
Speaker 1: being a kind of a mother to my parents and
Speaker 1: a mother to my kids, and I look at my
Speaker 1: both my mother and my father, who had divorced but
Speaker 1: aging in place, and I'm thinking, how do I learn
Speaker 1: from what I'm seeing? How do I be a good
Speaker 1: child for my aging parents? And also how do I
Speaker 1: send those messages to my kids about aging parents. What
Speaker 1: are your thoughts on that? I love what you said
Speaker 1: about quiet and what I learned in the quiet for
Speaker 1: the six years I lived in the woods was to
Speaker 1: keep my attention and my energy focused on my inside
Speaker 1: because I have what my family jokingly calls god to tentacles.
Speaker 1: If anybody or anything is suffering, it is up to
Speaker 1: me to fix. So I had to pull those tentacles
Speaker 1: back in. I was getting exhausted, and what I found
Speaker 1: is that the moment my attention turned to someone else
Speaker 1: to help them, my own vitality diminished significantly. And it
Speaker 1: was bullshit. So I started to realize that even in
Speaker 1: the room with someone who is suffering, of my attention
Speaker 1: is on saying what am I feeling? How is this?
Speaker 1: So you know if I'm panicking that they're not okay?
Speaker 1: Is that true? No, Get back into your own body,
Speaker 1: find a place of your own joy and balance and
Speaker 1: then if they're freaking out, you can hold a place
Speaker 1: of balance. Your child that freaks out, your parents freaks out,
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. You have to keep the energy inside yourself,
Speaker 1: which is what women are trained not to do, and
Speaker 1: by the way, biologically we kind of geared not to
Speaker 1: do it. I actually visualized pulling in the tentacles of
Speaker 1: my attention so that they go to my own heart,
Speaker 1: my own body, my own brain, and I'm constantly taking
Speaker 1: care of myself out with bubble bass, but with Okay,
Speaker 1: they're suffering, they think it's my job to fix it. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's bullshit. Where do I want to go? Instead, go
Speaker 1: into the piece of glamour, going to the piece of
Speaker 1: radiance and hold it. I had a friend who was
Speaker 1: dying and she hated having me in the room with
Speaker 1: her because I was excited for her and she did
Speaker 1: not like that. But she would make me come in
Speaker 1: and sit with her behind her where I couldn't see her,
Speaker 1: because she said she could feel the the joy, the
Speaker 1: energy of it. She didn't want to see my face
Speaker 1: because she wanted everyone to be sad. But the feeling
Speaker 1: of being contented in myself and the trust that death
Speaker 1: is no big deal. She could feel it in her
Speaker 1: body and eased her pain and it eased her passing.
Speaker 1: So that sounds very self congratulatory, but it's real this energy.
Speaker 1: Keep it for yourself, and that doesn't make you not
Speaker 1: empathetic to the people that are aging or dying, or
Speaker 1: it makes you more empathetic. There are four different parts
Speaker 1: of the brain that are related to empathy, and one
Speaker 1: of them is sharing feelings. But if you broke your
Speaker 1: leg and my response was to break my leg and
Speaker 1: sit with you in Christ so that I could really
Speaker 1: experience your pain, you would get no help with your leg.
Speaker 1: So part of the brain, when it feels empathy emotionally,
Speaker 1: also is able to make a self other differentiation. And
Speaker 1: a third part does emotion regulation, and you have to
Speaker 1: pull down your sharing of the other's suffering in order
Speaker 1: to get really into a full experience of empathy, which
Speaker 1: is a blast of compassion without concern, like I am
Speaker 1: right here with you in your depression, in your aging,
Speaker 1: in your dementia, I am okay. One of my favorite writers,
Speaker 1: the Persian poet have Fizz, says, troubled, then stay with me,
Speaker 1: for I am not. And if you can do that,
Speaker 1: then everything around you starts to calm down, and the
Speaker 1: radiance and everyone starts to shine, and it's communicable, and
Speaker 1: you need that desperately if you're in the Sandwich generation
Speaker 1: between kids and aging parents. That's great advice. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Martha Beck. If I were a lesbian, I would be
Speaker 1: courting you right now. But I am here with my
Speaker 1: children and my husband and aging parents, so I'm not
Speaker 1: going anywhere. But thank you for this, truly. Thank you. Okay, So, Martha,
Speaker 1: before you go, we're trying something new this season, and
Speaker 1: you're kind of the guinea pig. But I'm going to
Speaker 1: have our guests asked me a question at the end
Speaker 1: of each episode. I thought so long and hard, and
Speaker 1: this is my question. Oh my gosh, Okay, you have
Speaker 1: been in so many arenas, you have achieved so much,
Speaker 1: You've been in the public eye in so many different ways.
Speaker 1: What is the most horrible, humiliating thing that ever happened
Speaker 1: to you in a public forum? Oh gosh, where do
Speaker 1: I start? Um, let's see humiliating. If there's there's this,
Speaker 1: there's that story. Well. One of the things, which I
Speaker 1: think is an interesting story because it shows who I
Speaker 1: am authentically is when I was first married, nobody cared
Speaker 1: about me, you know, I didn't. There was no publicity
Speaker 1: about me as a person. It was always a review
Speaker 1: about something I was in or And when I married
Speaker 1: George Um, somebody wrote a piece in the New York
Speaker 1: Post that said Ali went within George Stephanopolis are getting divorced.
Speaker 1: And I was taken aback by that. Like, first of all,
Speaker 1: I knew that wasn't true, but it hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1: I felt overwhelmed by it. And another reporter got my
Speaker 1: cell phone number and he called me up and he said,
Speaker 1: what do you think about this article about you and
Speaker 1: your husband getting divorced? And I said, you show me
Speaker 1: two people that have sex twice a day that are
Speaker 1: getting divorced. Now that was my way of handling it,
Speaker 1: you know which, much like I've seen you do you
Speaker 1: handle it with humor. George was enraged. He should have
Speaker 1: been so proud. What a stud. They still call him
Speaker 1: George twice today Stephanopolis. But he was not used to
Speaker 1: Um sort of talking about his personal life in any way.
Speaker 1: He was a no comment, no comment. You don't even
Speaker 1: talk to these people about this stuff. And so I
Speaker 1: was humiliated by my response and I thought I was
Speaker 1: in trouble, and and yet it was very often it
Speaker 1: would just immediately came out of my mouth. I didn't
Speaker 1: think about it. So there have been times where I
Speaker 1: thought I was sort of being my courageous self and
Speaker 1: I got in trouble for it, and that was that
Speaker 1: was a humiliating moment for myself. Well, do not accept
Speaker 1: that because you did the right thing. You told the truth,
Speaker 1: and the truth makes you and George look amazing. So
Speaker 1: just yeah, well, you're right, that's that's the wild animal
Speaker 1: in me. So um, I'm keeping that wild and I'm
Speaker 1: letting her out of the cage. Martha. Yeah, keep your
Speaker 1: energy inside. He can deal with his exactly. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Excellent question. That sounds great. That's a wonderful story. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for that. Thank you, Martha went Ri.
Speaker 1: You are a goddess. I just love you and thank
Speaker 1: you so much. I love you too, and thank you.
Speaker 1: I you love Martha Beck. I got to tell you
Speaker 1: she is so full of them and bigger again. You
Speaker 1: should read her book, Integrity, because it goes through so
Speaker 1: many different channels and variations of what we talked about
Speaker 1: and so many things we didn't talk about. So I
Speaker 1: have to admit I do have moments of terror about aging,
Speaker 1: and I think, yes, some of it is mortality. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm afraid to die, to not exist, But also I
Speaker 1: feel like it's how America does treat, particularly women who
Speaker 1: are going through an aging process. But talking to Dr
Speaker 1: Martha Beck made me feel so much better because I
Speaker 1: truly believe it is the quote unquote light within us.
Speaker 1: And I think, look, we live in a very unpredictable
Speaker 1: world right now. What is predictable is we're going to
Speaker 1: get old and we're gonna die. So why not make
Speaker 1: this life the best we can? And so I think
Speaker 1: we all need to go out and take those moments
Speaker 1: for ourselves and listening to our glamor g l A
Speaker 1: M M e er and find ways to shine bright
Speaker 1: to the very last moment. Yeah, thank you for listening
Speaker 1: to go ask Gali. Be sure to subscribe, rate and
Speaker 1: review the podcast, and follow me on social media on
Speaker 1: Twitter at Ali E. Wentworth and on Instagram at the
Speaker 1: Real Ali Wentworth. Now, if you'd like to ask me
Speaker 1: a question or suggest a guest or a topic to
Speaker 1: dig into, I would love to hear from you. And
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of ways to do it. You can
Speaker 1: call or text me at three to three three six
Speaker 1: four six three five six, or you can email a
Speaker 1: voice memo right from your phone to Go Ask Gali
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. If you leave me a message,
Speaker 1: you may hear it on Go Ask Alli. Go Ask
Speaker 1: Gali is a production of Shonda Land Audio and partnership
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