Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 2: Today's tip is that you can reshape a memory, particularly
Speaker 2: if you have had a negative experience in the past
Speaker 2: that continues to bother you.
Speaker 1: To some degree. You might be able to highlight a
Speaker 1: particular part of that memory that shows something you like
Speaker 1: about yourself. That can make a negative memory a little
Speaker 1: less bad. I am sure we have all had experiences
Speaker 1: in our lives that haven't gone exactly how we wanted.
Speaker 1: If we're not careful, these can scar pretty deeply. For instance,
Speaker 1: I know someone who had a rough start to college
Speaker 1: and wound up needing to withdraw with failing grades. Yikes, right,
Speaker 1: This person was smart enough to go to college and
Speaker 1: had family members who are incredibly proud of them for
Speaker 1: doing so, and then that happened. The first story that
Speaker 1: comes to mind is failure. But after some dark months,
Speaker 1: this person decided to try again with lots of studying
Speaker 1: and organizational help, and she wound up doing okay. With
Speaker 1: some work, she was able to reshape the original memory.
Speaker 1: There is a difference between failing at something specific and
Speaker 1: being a failure.
Speaker 2: She was able to.
Speaker 1: Rewrite the memory as being willing to try hard things,
Speaker 1: and that when something didn't work out, she was tough
Speaker 1: enough to learn from her mistakes that reshaped the memory
Speaker 1: into something more positive. Perhaps you have something similar in
Speaker 1: your life. I probably don't have to nudge you to
Speaker 1: call up the unpleasant memory. Maybe you already think about
Speaker 1: it way more than you intend to, So the next
Speaker 1: time you are doing so, see if you can reshape
Speaker 1: it a little bit. Think about what you like most
Speaker 1: about yourself. What traits make you proud when you've been
Speaker 1: at your best? What were you doing now think about
Speaker 1: this unpleasant memory. Were there any moments in this event
Speaker 1: or moments afterwards that could have featured these traits you
Speaker 1: like about yourself? Yes, the business went bankrupt, but you
Speaker 1: were a really good mentoring boss with your employees while
Speaker 1: it lasted. Yes, you shouldn't have lost your temper, and
Speaker 1: you are now dealing with the fallout from that. But
Speaker 1: that also stems from being intensely loyal to the people
Speaker 1: in your life and not wanting to see them be unhappy.
Speaker 1: That in and of itself is not a bad thing,
Speaker 1: even if there were ramifications that weren't great anyway, we
Speaker 1: have all had low moments in life, and it's good
Speaker 1: to learn from these when we can. I am not
Speaker 1: in favor of letting ourselves completely off the hook when
Speaker 1: we have made big messes. But when all we are
Speaker 1: learning is that we are failures or that we are
Speaker 1: terrible people, that is not going to be particularly helpful.
Speaker 1: Better to see if there is some good trait to
Speaker 1: hook on and then reshape the memory With that in mind,
Speaker 1: it becomes part of life story rather than something we
Speaker 1: can't get past. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,
Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura
Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.
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