1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 2: Today's tip is that you can reshape a memory, particularly 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 2: if you have had a negative experience in the past 5 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 2: that continues to bother you. 6 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,159 Speaker 1: To some degree. You might be able to highlight a 7 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: particular part of that memory that shows something you like 8 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 1: about yourself. That can make a negative memory a little 9 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 1: less bad. I am sure we have all had experiences 10 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: in our lives that haven't gone exactly how we wanted. 11 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: If we're not careful, these can scar pretty deeply. For instance, 12 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:53,599 Speaker 1: I know someone who had a rough start to college 13 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: and wound up needing to withdraw with failing grades. Yikes, right, 14 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: This person was smart enough to go to college and 15 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: had family members who are incredibly proud of them for 16 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: doing so, and then that happened. The first story that 17 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:13,839 Speaker 1: comes to mind is failure. But after some dark months, 18 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: this person decided to try again with lots of studying 19 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: and organizational help, and she wound up doing okay. With 20 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 1: some work, she was able to reshape the original memory. 21 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:32,039 Speaker 1: There is a difference between failing at something specific and 22 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,319 Speaker 1: being a failure. 23 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,399 Speaker 2: She was able to. 24 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 1: Rewrite the memory as being willing to try hard things, 25 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: and that when something didn't work out, she was tough 26 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: enough to learn from her mistakes that reshaped the memory 27 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: into something more positive. Perhaps you have something similar in 28 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: your life. I probably don't have to nudge you to 29 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: call up the unpleasant memory. Maybe you already think about 30 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:05,279 Speaker 1: it way more than you intend to, So the next 31 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: time you are doing so, see if you can reshape 32 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: it a little bit. Think about what you like most 33 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:18,639 Speaker 1: about yourself. What traits make you proud when you've been 34 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 1: at your best? What were you doing now think about 35 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: this unpleasant memory. Were there any moments in this event 36 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 1: or moments afterwards that could have featured these traits you 37 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: like about yourself? Yes, the business went bankrupt, but you 38 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: were a really good mentoring boss with your employees while 39 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: it lasted. Yes, you shouldn't have lost your temper, and 40 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: you are now dealing with the fallout from that. But 41 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: that also stems from being intensely loyal to the people 42 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: in your life and not wanting to see them be unhappy. 43 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: That in and of itself is not a bad thing, 44 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: even if there were ramifications that weren't great anyway, we 45 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 1: have all had low moments in life, and it's good 46 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: to learn from these when we can. I am not 47 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: in favor of letting ourselves completely off the hook when 48 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: we have made big messes. But when all we are 49 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,359 Speaker 1: learning is that we are failures or that we are 50 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,919 Speaker 1: terrible people, that is not going to be particularly helpful. 51 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: Better to see if there is some good trait to 52 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: hook on and then reshape the memory With that in mind, 53 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: it becomes part of life story rather than something we 54 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: can't get past. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks 55 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. 56 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:06,119 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, 57 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura 58 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:19,039 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. 59 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, 60 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.