Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hi, Oh my god, gek.
Speaker 2: What is your name? Sydney, Sydney? What's going on? Sydney?
Speaker 2: How's life?
Speaker 1: And life is good. I'm just at home, just came
Speaker 1: back from walking the dog.
Speaker 2: You texted me and you said you want to talk
Speaker 2: about what it's like being a female truck driver. I
Speaker 2: thought that was interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah for sure. So I work for a trucking
Speaker 1: company and I basically just like move trucks around all day.
Speaker 1: It's pretty fun.
Speaker 2: You move. How long of a distance do you move
Speaker 2: these trucks?
Speaker 1: Well, I do just like like around like my city
Speaker 1: and everything. Like you can choose to do lognissance or
Speaker 1: like around the city, but I want to come home.
Speaker 3: Every day, so.
Speaker 1: I choose, like I chose like to be able to
Speaker 1: like work during the day.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: I just worked like seven to two every day and
Speaker 1: it's pretty chill.
Speaker 2: Okay, So it's not like a crazy like long haul trucking.
Speaker 1: No, it's because like I wanted to do that, but
Speaker 1: I have a kid, so I like don't want to
Speaker 1: do that obviously. I like being home everyday.
Speaker 2: How's your kid doing? How old are they?
Speaker 1: She's too she just turned two.
Speaker 4: Yeah, how's that? Gone.
Speaker 1: Yeah's it's fun. It's good. She's crazy, but you know
Speaker 1: it keeps me busy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hesitated? Why did you hesitate? I'm curious?
Speaker 1: Well because right now, like she's not with me. She
Speaker 1: stays with her dad half the time, so unfortunately she's
Speaker 1: not here today.
Speaker 2: Is her dad in the same city as you?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he lives not far from me, like ten
Speaker 1: minutes for me. So I moved out like in October,
Speaker 1: so be cause things aren't really great between us. But
Speaker 1: you know, how long were you too?
Speaker 2: How long? How long were you two together?
Speaker 1: For like four or five years something like that?
Speaker 2: We met in twenty twenty, Okay, it's a long time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's when like I started listening to you
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty, when I was working at a different job,
Speaker 1: doing like different kind of trucking.
Speaker 2: Why did uh do? Why did things like deteriorate? Ah?
Speaker 1: Well, he was like addicted to porn.
Speaker 2: Ah how how addicted to porn?
Speaker 4: Was he?
Speaker 3: Like everybody he.
Speaker 1: Used to spend Yeah, no, he used to send pictures
Speaker 1: of his ass, so like random guys on like snapsdown
Speaker 1: and like talked random people in ome goal and shit,
Speaker 1: and like the thing is he never wanted to have
Speaker 1: sex with me. That was like the main issue. And
Speaker 1: I'm like not like that, Like I like having an
Speaker 1: intimate relationship, you know, Like but he like just never communicated,
Speaker 1: like always shut down every time I talked to him,
Speaker 1: you know, Like so like things kind of just got worse.
Speaker 1: So we're kind but we were stuck living together, you know,
Speaker 1: because like we both moved out pretty young, so I
Speaker 1: was like he was my only way out of like
Speaker 1: living at like my mom, So you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: really have a choice. And like obviously things are always
Speaker 1: good at first, but then like you find out who
Speaker 1: someone really is.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmm.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 2: This the thing about like the like porn and jack
Speaker 2: and off addiction thing is like that is the point yeah,
Speaker 2: when like, uh, like I I do believe that stuff
Speaker 2: can co exist alongside a healthy relationship, but like when
Speaker 2: it gets to a point where like you're not even
Speaker 2: attracted to your like partner anymore, like you didn't want
Speaker 2: to have sex with them anymore. I mean that's just
Speaker 2: like yeahah, it makes it like a relationship.
Speaker 1: It was not fun. Like it made me feel very unwanted,
Speaker 1: you know, and then it made me like very anxious,
Speaker 1: like I got, like, you know, I had like an
Speaker 1: interesting childhood, so I was like pretty anxious already, and
Speaker 1: then like him always like seeking around and like lying
Speaker 1: about his phone and shit and hiding his phone all
Speaker 1: the time, you know, and I would find shit like
Speaker 1: on his phone and he would just lie straight up
Speaker 1: to me about it, you know or see who would
Speaker 1: change and then like never.
Speaker 2: Do was there? Like what did you guys have like
Speaker 2: a good sex life, like at the beginning of the relationship,
Speaker 2: and then it just like from I was like always
Speaker 2: always there.
Speaker 1: It was always me who in this she did like
Speaker 1: she'd have seen the red flag, but like it was
Speaker 1: always me, you know. But like his Lafe relationship, he
Speaker 1: told me that his girlfriend never want to have sex,
Speaker 1: so he like never did, you know, and he respected
Speaker 1: her obviously, you know, but like so I think he
Speaker 1: never learned. So like we did it for the first
Speaker 1: time together great, but then he never really like initiated,
Speaker 1: you know. M But like, you know, we've got along
Speaker 1: really well, like we had friends like together, you know,
Speaker 1: like we got along really well. You know, I had
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff in common, you know, So I
Speaker 1: tried not to think about it too much.
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: Hmm, and yeah, I just never got better.
Speaker 2: You know, how are you guys lying? It was the
Speaker 2: lying you said.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot of lying, you know, like even
Speaker 1: to this day, always like a little white live.
Speaker 2: How how is the co parenting going? Selright to co
Speaker 2: parent with?
Speaker 1: Uh, it's a lot better now for sure, Like I
Speaker 1: moved out in October. So ever since moving out, like
Speaker 1: it's been way like ten times better. But I had
Speaker 1: to fight to like get to mediation at to fight him,
Speaker 1: you know, to like get child support. And even like
Speaker 1: today he's still like late on child support, hasn't paid
Speaker 1: me yet, you know, like he's supposed to do it
Speaker 1: every month.
Speaker 2: But like whatever, did you guys?
Speaker 1: I feel like the kid is happy?
Speaker 2: Did you guys have a lot of disagreements in terms
Speaker 2: of like how to raise the child? No, I mean.
Speaker 1: Not really, Like but I'm the one who's more in
Speaker 1: control of everything, you know, like I have to tell
Speaker 1: him like what to do a lot, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like yeah, like what to feed her, how
Speaker 1: to put her to bed? How like you know, how
Speaker 1: to give her a back, like simple things you know
Speaker 1: that he should just do as a parent, you know,
Speaker 1: I have to like tell him mmmmmmm. But like I mean,
Speaker 1: he has gone a lot better though, because I think
Speaker 1: like having her more you know, like on his own,
Speaker 1: like has made him like show up more for her,
Speaker 1: because he wasn't really there for the first like year
Speaker 1: of her life.
Speaker 2: You know, where was he Well.
Speaker 1: Like he was just working all the time where he
Speaker 1: would come home and just like line the couch and
Speaker 1: if I ever asked, like if I want to go out,
Speaker 1: he would just be like, call my mom, you know,
Speaker 1: to watch her.
Speaker 2: If he ever say that again, if you ever wanted
Speaker 2: to go out, he would call his mom to watch her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Or he would tell me to call her and
Speaker 1: be like, if you want to go out, like call
Speaker 1: my mom. You know, Like he wouldn't stay home and
Speaker 1: watch her. You know he can deal with the.
Speaker 2: Baby, does he like being a dead.
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, like you know, he's the one who
Speaker 1: wanted the baby. You know, he's the one who can
Speaker 1: think me like not to get an abortion, like was
Speaker 1: super into it, like will be you know, nice happy
Speaker 1: family and then yeah really yeah, yeah, so that's the thing.
Speaker 1: Like you know, like I found out pretty early, and
Speaker 1: you know, like I was like for sure fifty to fifty,
Speaker 1: like definitely had to think about it, and in the end,
Speaker 1: like I did like keep her obviously my decision, but
Speaker 1: like he definitely like play a part in it too,
Speaker 1: you know. Was like I'm very happy now, Like I'm
Speaker 1: living my best life right now, so I'm like super
Speaker 1: happy and everything now. So everything worked out well, you know,
Speaker 1: but still like I have a boyfriend now and that's
Speaker 1: been great. He's like the best guy ever. So it's
Speaker 1: like a one to eighty, you know.
Speaker 2: That's awesome. Was was the baby planned? Like was it
Speaker 2: like a planned story? Like he became pregnant and then
Speaker 2: it was like fifty to fifty on keeping it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like like we weren't even together when I got
Speaker 1: pregnant really like we had we had broken up, Like
Speaker 1: it was like August twenty twenty three and we had
Speaker 1: broken up. But then like like we had two cats,
Speaker 1: and I like was bored on a Friday night and
Speaker 1: like I want to go see if they were there,
Speaker 1: and then he weren't. They weren't there, like he brought
Speaker 1: them to his mom's and shit, and then like whatever,
Speaker 1: one thing led to another, so fucking stupid. So we
Speaker 1: got back to bed together. Obviously when I found out
Speaker 1: I was pregnant and then Yeah, so it's already be
Speaker 1: like not stable to begin with, I guess, but like
Speaker 1: we're chilled now, you know, like he has a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend now, Like you know, he's living
Speaker 1: his life. I'm living mine. I mean we definitely do
Speaker 1: disagree every once in a while, and you know it's
Speaker 1: not too bad.
Speaker 2: But you're living your best life now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, like like having an amazing boyfriend. We have
Speaker 1: like a little like townhouse together.
Speaker 6: We just got a dog.
Speaker 1: You know, Like I work like part time, you know,
Speaker 1: like at a super chill like truck driving job. You know,
Speaker 1: everyone's like very nice, you know, so I'm pretty lucky.
Speaker 2: That's awesome. Yeah, tell you about Yeah what is that?
Speaker 2: What does your best life look like? Is it? Is
Speaker 2: that what you always wanted to be?
Speaker 1: Like yeah, definitely. I think it's like I don't really
Speaker 1: have like like a normal upbringing. You know, I had
Speaker 1: like divorced parents, but like not messy divorced parents.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: So when I, like me and her dad didn't work out,
Speaker 1: I wanted to make it like as easy as possible.
Speaker 1: Like I didn't want any fighting, I didn't want lawyers.
Speaker 1: I didn't want court, you know, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: make it like easy as possible.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but yeah, I love my life. Like I
Speaker 1: love that I get to drive around all day and
Speaker 1: you know, get to hang out my dog and go
Speaker 1: to pool and like my me and my boyfriend golf together.
Speaker 1: We go to dinner even though we can't. We shouldn't
Speaker 1: go out to eat as much. That's our main issue
Speaker 1: in life, spending money on food.
Speaker 4: But like.
Speaker 1: Everything's so expensive.
Speaker 2: And what's making your You said your boyfriend's the best.
Speaker 2: Why is he the best?
Speaker 1: Well, I know, like he tells me he loves me.
Speaker 1: He actually like treats me right, he like cares about
Speaker 1: me and like shows it, you know, like took in
Speaker 1: like me and my daughter. You know it didn't have
Speaker 1: to do that. You know, he liked me and he
Speaker 1: knew he had a kid.
Speaker 3: I had a kid.
Speaker 1: But like he didn't have to do what he did.
Speaker 1: You know, he didn't have to help us and like
Speaker 1: you know, help me, you know, like he didn't have
Speaker 1: to do all that, but he did.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm hm. No, he sounds like a good dude.
Speaker 1: No, definitely, he does like like car wrapping, so like
Speaker 1: you know, like you put like let's say you get
Speaker 1: a new car whatever, and you want to protect your paint,
Speaker 1: like he does that, so he like wrapped the car
Speaker 1: and like a clear film or like you can make
Speaker 1: a mat or whatever. He has his own business.
Speaker 2: Nice. What uh? And you're Canadian?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Where in Canada? Do you? What city is it?
Speaker 1: I'm in Montreal and I'm actually here in Montreal.
Speaker 2: Oh, Montreal. You go to the show. Oh cool, that'll
Speaker 2: be my first dude, that that's gonna be my first
Speaker 2: time in uh Montreal. I've heard only incredible things about Montreal.
Speaker 2: I've heard it's like an amazing place.
Speaker 1: No, honestly, I love living here like I was born
Speaker 1: and raised, you know, like I love it other than
Speaker 1: the friends, like everything is great other.
Speaker 2: Than okay, tell me about this. What do you mean
Speaker 2: other than the French?
Speaker 1: Well, just because like I'm like born here, but like
Speaker 1: I don't speak very good French, so like sometimes it's
Speaker 1: hard for me.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: That's why I like, I like truck driving. I don't
Speaker 1: really have to speak French to anyone, but everyone.
Speaker 2: Speak Well what's the deal there? Okay, So I'm very
Speaker 2: that's been a thing and I guess I'll get a
Speaker 2: handle on it when I go there. I'll probably stay
Speaker 2: a few days. Actually, most of these places I'm kind
Speaker 2: of going in and out. But Montreal, I want to
Speaker 2: stay a few days.
Speaker 4: I've yeah, I do for sure.
Speaker 2: I've heard that. It's like, yeah, I don't know what's
Speaker 2: the deal with it, because it's like it's frenchy, but
Speaker 2: not everyone speaks French. But sometimes I meet a guy
Speaker 2: from Montreal and he has like a French accent, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, what is this? But then I talk to
Speaker 2: you and You're just like, uh, you have a fully
Speaker 2: Canadian accent. So I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1: So, like, it all depends, I guess on where you're
Speaker 1: like born or raised, Like I'm in like the west
Speaker 1: part of Montreal, so it's all like English here, like
Speaker 1: very English like suburbs, you know. And then if you're
Speaker 1: in the city or like the outskirts of Montreal, it's
Speaker 1: more like French, you know, like Laval and like Lunge,
Speaker 1: like downtown, you know, French. But let's say I are
Speaker 1: to go to a restaurant downtown and spoke English, like
Speaker 1: the waiter would speak English to me. You know what,
Speaker 1: I mean like people are pretty bilingual mm hm, so
Speaker 1: like you'll have no problem you know, talking to people
Speaker 1: like maybe like they'll have an accent, but like they'll
Speaker 1: still speak like English to you. And people love tourists,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Do you guys get a lot of tourists.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would, I think so, Like I don't go
Speaker 1: downtown too often, but I love going to the Old
Speaker 1: Port during the summer. It's so nice, like going on
Speaker 1: the terraces and everything like that the best.
Speaker 2: Well I I was gonna h I also wanted to
Speaker 2: ask you wanted to talk about what it's like being
Speaker 2: a female truck driver. I didn't know if you wanted
Speaker 2: to elaborate on that at all.
Speaker 1: I mean, it doesn't really matter, like I mean, it's
Speaker 1: pretty fun, you know, like like I don't know, like
Speaker 1: it just sometimes like obviously men like it always seems
Speaker 1: like they're very surprised, you know, because I'm like not
Speaker 1: a tall girl, Like I'm pretty petite, you know, So
Speaker 1: like there was like, oh, like how do you do
Speaker 1: this drive these big trucks, you know, And I'm like
Speaker 1: I don't know, like you like normally, like I just
Speaker 1: got to bring the seat up a little more than you,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, like I think it's the only thing,
Speaker 1: or like they'll call me like, you know, like in French,
Speaker 1: like pretty is like Jali, So they'll call me like
Speaker 1: Jelly a lot, you know a lot of people I
Speaker 1: work with, but like sometimes I'll go like today, like
Speaker 1: a construction worker called me that and I was like okay,
Speaker 1: like but like move along.
Speaker 2: You know, it is the horniest language, is it not?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like it.
Speaker 2: Like pepe lepeu, like the the most famously horned do
Speaker 2: you know pepe Lepu?
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I love Mooney Tunes.
Speaker 2: I feel like Jalie. I will say, like, but it
Speaker 2: makes sense that it's like the hornious language because like
Speaker 2: I don't know, if like some French guy called me Jalie,
Speaker 2: you know, I would I would blush a little bit.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, for sure, I mean I'll take the comment,
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm not like they're not being like
Speaker 1: rude or anything or like overly like sexually, you know,
Speaker 1: like they're just old men, you know see a pretty girl,
Speaker 1: Like I don't really let it bother me too much.
Speaker 2: So you speak a little bit so everyone like when
Speaker 2: you go to you went to school there right, Like
Speaker 2: what do they teach in school? Is it French or English?
Speaker 1: So well, there's two school boards. There's an English school
Speaker 1: board and the French school board. I went to the
Speaker 1: English one because do you need, like your parents to
Speaker 1: be born both your parents be born in Quebec to
Speaker 1: be able to be able to go to English school?
Speaker 1: Because both my parents were born here, I was able
Speaker 1: to go to English school. But if they weren't, I
Speaker 1: was an immigrant. Like immigrants when they come here, they're
Speaker 1: forced to go to French school, like, so they have
Speaker 1: no choice but to learn French. So they're like stuck
Speaker 1: in quebecause they only know French when they come here.
Speaker 2: That's stupid. Yeah, that's kind of wild, is it? Why
Speaker 2: do they do it? Why did they do it?
Speaker 6: Like that?
Speaker 1: Be could they want to protect their language?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but then it fox everyone who goes there,
Speaker 2: because yeah, they can't really leave Quebec exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: But that's why I like you if you're never coming
Speaker 1: from you know, wherever, you know, India or whatever, like
Speaker 1: they want you to stay here, but they want you
Speaker 1: to like only learn their language, you know, m And
Speaker 1: they make you pay a bunch of money to come
Speaker 1: here too.
Speaker 2: How big is this truck you're driving? How many wheels?
Speaker 2: We talking?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 1: Some eyes like eighteen wheelers and stuff and or like
Speaker 1: straight bodies like the long ones. Yeah. Yeah, I have to,
Speaker 1: you know, be careful, especially driving around the city. But
Speaker 1: that's why, like it's kind of safer than highway driving.
Speaker 1: You know, more accidents can happen that way, So I
Speaker 1: don't mind being in traffic all day, you know, like
Speaker 1: just going around the city.
Speaker 2: Wall, I feel like it was okay. So I actually
Speaker 2: was feeling like it's the opposite because if you're on
Speaker 2: a highway, you just got to move forward. You just
Speaker 2: like like I love when I'm doing a long drive
Speaker 2: and I look at my Google Maps and it says
Speaker 2: like one hundred miles or kilometers or whatever until the
Speaker 2: next thing, because I'm like, all right, I just go forward, right,
Speaker 2: But yeah, driving an eighteen wheeler at like like taking
Speaker 2: an eighteen wheeler to like a traffic stop, that sounds
Speaker 2: that sounds like a nightmare.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's honestly, like I'm going pretty slow,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not a big deal. And I'm like
Speaker 1: just like kind of cruising around the city, you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm not really rushing anywhere. It's more annoying like
Speaker 1: when I'm trying to get home and like there's traffic,
Speaker 1: which tends to be often but you know, it is.
Speaker 6: What it is.
Speaker 1: But like the thing is, it's like when you're on
Speaker 1: the highway, like it's more dangerou because like that can
Speaker 1: cause like a statal axit. You know, I'd rather get
Speaker 1: into a little fender bender, you know, like in the
Speaker 1: city then like get into like a five car pile
Speaker 1: up on the highway, you know what I mean. Like
Speaker 1: I feel like that's like what the danger is. I
Speaker 1: don't get paid like crazy, so like the highway guys
Speaker 1: they get paid more because like of the risk and
Speaker 1: obviously they're.
Speaker 2: Going further, you know. Yeah, yeah, I've talked about this
Speaker 2: a billion times something here, But like I fucking that's
Speaker 2: the thing that's the most, Like that's so dangerous to me,
Speaker 2: just be the highway. I hate the highway. Like I'd
Speaker 2: rather go to like the walk around you know in
Speaker 2: Iraq than like be on like the highway of a
Speaker 2: nice suburb.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Like that shit fucking scares me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, for sure. Like I MO, it's like I
Speaker 1: always hear about accidents and shit, you know, people dying
Speaker 1: all the time. Like I always see like people dying,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, fuck, man, it's messed up.
Speaker 2: Well, I hope you live long enough to be a
Speaker 2: little old lady walking around Montreal. That sounds like one
Speaker 2: of the best lives available to a human being.
Speaker 1: Thank you me too, honestly, Like, I want to live
Speaker 1: a long time. I don't want like I want my
Speaker 1: daughter see me when I'm like old and shit, you know,
Speaker 1: and be there and watch her and everything. We just
Speaker 1: had a loss in the family. My aunt just passed.
Speaker 1: It's like, why can my cousin be without a mom?
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I don't want that to ever happen,
Speaker 1: you know, like only when I'm really old.
Speaker 2: Sydney, is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 1: Uh No, everyone, have a nice.
Speaker 2: Night, beautiful. I'll see in Montreal.
Speaker 1: Dog, Yeah, I see you in Montreal. Have a good one,
Speaker 1: by Sydney. Thanks by.
Speaker 2: Montreal. Yeah, Canada's cool. I was just in Vancouver. You
Speaker 2: want some funny aout Vancouver?
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 2: I was in uh. I was on a leg of
Speaker 2: the tour that took me through the Pacific Northwest, and
Speaker 2: I forgot my passport. I was like, oh fuck, So
Speaker 2: I like looked it up online and it's like, you
Speaker 2: can so like legally if you have a like a
Speaker 2: like a true notarized copy of your birth certificate and
Speaker 2: your driver's license, sometimes they'll let you in. But I
Speaker 2: didn't have that. I just had I like printed out
Speaker 2: like just a piece of paper from like an email.
Speaker 2: My mom sent me with a copy of my birth
Speaker 2: certificate and my my driver's license, and they they let
Speaker 2: me in. And then I came back to America with
Speaker 2: just that like piece of paper and my driver's license
Speaker 2: and they let me in again. The Canadian border is
Speaker 2: very chill, so I mean you probably I wouldn't risk it.
Speaker 2: If I were you, I wouldn't go out of my
Speaker 2: way to I wouldn't go to I wouldn't go to
Speaker 2: the border of Vancouver and fucking Washington, Oregon, whatever one
Speaker 2: of those states. Why do I not? Why is it
Speaker 2: that I wouldn't. I wouldn't bet my life that I
Speaker 2: know whether Oregon or Washington is this north or in
Speaker 2: most state, It's got to be Washington. It's Washington. Washington
Speaker 2: is above Oregon. Yes, Washington. I wouldn't go to the
Speaker 2: border of Washington in Canada just to see if you
Speaker 2: can do it. But if you if you have to,
Speaker 2: if you're there for whatever reason, and you get a
Speaker 2: nice Canadian guy, he might let you in without a passport.
Speaker 2: You can. You can. You can tell them that you
Speaker 2: heard that on the Therapy Gecko podcast and they'll let
Speaker 2: you in.
Speaker 4: Hell. Hello, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 2: What's up? How you doing? How's life?
Speaker 6: That's all right? How about you?
Speaker 2: You know? Uh, just another day, just another day. What's
Speaker 2: your name?
Speaker 6: I'm Jackson?
Speaker 2: Jackson. What brings you to the Therapy Get Go program today? Uh?
Speaker 6: I don't know, man. I was just having a bit
Speaker 6: of a of a hard day, but I just got
Speaker 6: that com I'm feeling a bit better. But you're just
Speaker 6: having a weird day with my girlfriend.
Speaker 2: I guess what's been weird about it?
Speaker 6: Well, basically, we're hanging out today. I'm like about to
Speaker 6: leave to work at a summer camp job, and her
Speaker 6: birthdays on the weekend, so we just like went to
Speaker 6: hang out. We went to like a ceramic place to
Speaker 6: make some pottery and like go for lunch, and basically
Speaker 6: she was just like very upset at me this morning,
Speaker 6: because like right when she woke up, she was just
Speaker 6: like really stressed, and I was like, why are you,
Speaker 6: why are you stressed? Like what's going on? And she
Speaker 6: just like wasn't able to tell me, So I didn't
Speaker 6: really know what to do. And then she was just
Speaker 6: like kind of upset all day that I like wasn't
Speaker 6: able to help with that. And then yeah, she's at
Speaker 6: work now and we had like a really not great
Speaker 6: conversation about and I just feel kind of weird about
Speaker 6: the situation.
Speaker 2: Okay, so she her birthdays this weekend. You guys, you
Speaker 2: did a bunch of birthday stuff with her earlier because
Speaker 2: you're going to be out of town for the summer
Speaker 2: camp job. Uh, she wakes up, she's stressed out, and
Speaker 2: then she's upset at you for you don't really know
Speaker 2: why she's upset at you.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like she she was just she had like a
Speaker 6: rough day at work yesterday and I was like really
Speaker 6: trying to just be there for her last night, but
Speaker 6: I guess this morning, I like didn't quite have the
Speaker 6: energy to give and I was just kind of like
Speaker 6: hoping that she would figure it out and like be okay.
Speaker 6: And because she just didn't really know like why she
Speaker 6: was stressed, but she was stressed. And then when you
Speaker 6: like kind of ruined the whole birthday day.
Speaker 2: I guess when when you when you say you didn't
Speaker 2: have the energy, you were hoping she would figure it out?
Speaker 2: What was there? What was there too figure out that
Speaker 2: she needed from you.
Speaker 6: I was trying to figure out why she was stressed.
Speaker 6: She was telling me she didn't know, but she like
Speaker 6: wanted me to help. So I was saying, how can
Speaker 6: I help you, and she was saying, I don't know.
Speaker 6: So then I just was kind of like going back
Speaker 6: to bed. And then we had talked about it later
Speaker 6: because she was just like kind of in a bad
Speaker 6: mood after that, and she was saying, it's like because
Speaker 6: I couldn't like figure out why she was stressed and
Speaker 6: like help her not be stressed. So I think she
Speaker 6: wanted me to solve it for her basically, But I
Speaker 6: don't know. That's where I'm like, I don't know what's
Speaker 6: what's going on. Maybe I'm being weird now.
Speaker 2: I have multiple thoughts about this. Okay, tell me how
Speaker 2: long you been with this lady.
Speaker 6: We've been together for like a year and two months.
Speaker 2: Okay, has anything like this happened before? Or has she
Speaker 2: ever complained about the anything like this before?
Speaker 6: Yeah, like quite a lot actually at testing.
Speaker 4: Okay, many many.
Speaker 2: Times it has And what give me like the last
Speaker 2: time it happened? Give me like the recurring situation? What
Speaker 2: does that look like?
Speaker 6: So I guess last night, like she comes home from work,
Speaker 6: she had a rough day, like the just the person
Speaker 6: she was working with was like in a really bad mood.
Speaker 6: So she came home and was like, I had a
Speaker 6: really tough day at work. So I'm like, okay, like
Speaker 6: I'm totally down to like help you feel better or
Speaker 6: just like be here with you sad, And it was
Speaker 6: like working last night, like she felt better and like
Speaker 6: everything was cool. But I think a lot of the time,
Speaker 6: maybe if she has like a bad day or whatever,
Speaker 6: I will like try to come in and be there.
Speaker 6: But if like I'm not able to make her feel better,
Speaker 6: it's like she gets mad. It's me. So it's like
Speaker 6: it's almost like I guess to me, I don't know
Speaker 6: if it's actually what's going on, Like I might be
Speaker 6: having some weird process about it, but it feels like
Speaker 6: her whatever is going on in her day just kind
Speaker 6: of like translates into like that I have done something wrong,
Speaker 6: and she's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, it's you knows
Speaker 2: the thing. It's hard to assess. Yeah, so I have
Speaker 2: so many thoughts about this actually, because it's hard to
Speaker 2: assess this without like having been in this situation. But
Speaker 2: I might think multiple things. I think, like on your end, right, like, well,
Speaker 2: i'll talk about your end first, I'll talk about her end,
Speaker 2: So on your because you're because your ends more import
Speaker 2: because your ends like what you can control. Right, So
Speaker 2: on your end, it's like if your girlfriend's having a
Speaker 2: bad day, you the whole like, how can I help you?
Speaker 2: And she says, I don't. No, obviously you can't be
Speaker 2: a mind reader, but really all you have to do
Speaker 2: is like all she wants from you in that moment
Speaker 2: is just like your presence. Yeah, there is, there's no
Speaker 2: specific thing. I mean, there's sure there's specific things you
Speaker 2: can do to show your presence, but all she wants
Speaker 2: and you said the way you said, yeah, just now,
Speaker 2: it's like you're not stupid, you know this. She just
Speaker 2: wants your presence, right, She wants your your she wants
Speaker 2: your attention, she wants your presence, and life's hard. Sometimes
Speaker 2: you you don't have it. Sometimes you don't have that
Speaker 2: presence and you sometimes you reach into your brain and
Speaker 2: it's fucking insufficient funds and that sucks. I've been a
Speaker 2: billion situations, you know, personal and professional where uh, you know,
Speaker 2: my presence was required and it just was I just
Speaker 2: had insufficient funds for that presence in my brain. And
Speaker 2: that sucks, you know. I think it's it's what you
Speaker 2: want to do is just try to Again, You're not stupid.
Speaker 2: You know this that that all she wants is your presence, right,
Speaker 2: So I'm sure you tried as hard as you can
Speaker 2: to uh give her that presence. So but then on
Speaker 2: her side and it's I you know, I'm not talking
Speaker 2: to her, I'm talking to you. But on her side,
Speaker 2: it's like you gotta communicate and you can't just like
Speaker 2: go A to B you really can't. Just like it's
Speaker 2: not fair for her to take out her stress on you,
Speaker 2: Like you're trying to help as far as I know,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know what the situation is. I
Speaker 2: don't know what you're doing. I don't know what it
Speaker 2: looks like. But you sound like a nice guy. You
Speaker 2: sound like, you care about this lady. You sound like
Speaker 2: you're trying to give her your best presence, And in
Speaker 2: that moment, it's like it's she can't just take out
Speaker 2: her stress on you because like you're trying to you're
Speaker 2: trying to help her. As far as I know, you're
Speaker 2: trying to help her, You're trying to be there.
Speaker 6: So I just want it's like it's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so it sucks that she's like taken out
Speaker 2: on you. It's like, why are you taking it out
Speaker 2: on me? I'm trying to help you. So yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: what when you bring this up to her? Like what
Speaker 2: does she say? How do these conversations go.
Speaker 6: Like when I bring up the dynamic.
Speaker 2: Or yeah, when I bring up the dynamic and when
Speaker 2: you're like, well you're you know.
Speaker 6: Well, honestly, man, I think she's really great at coming
Speaker 6: back and I can tell she's really reflected and she'll
Speaker 6: come back and be like, hey, I'm really sorry about
Speaker 6: my reaction. I really want to work on you know,
Speaker 6: how I react when I'm stressed and how I deal
Speaker 6: with my stress. It's not fair to put it on you.
Speaker 6: I guess. I guess it's just like recurred. I feel
Speaker 6: like kind of the whole time we've been together. So
Speaker 6: now I'm at the point where I'm like, maybe we
Speaker 6: need to change our strategy and the like talking about
Speaker 6: it isn't.
Speaker 4: What's helping.
Speaker 2: Interesting? What do you when you say you want to
Speaker 2: change the strategy? What is what do you mean by that?
Speaker 6: I guess it feels more like you can you can
Speaker 6: only do so much talking with somebody. But I think
Speaker 6: what changes things is actually acting differently. So I guess
Speaker 6: it just feels maybe like a miss match in expectations,
Speaker 6: Like she just expects are going to act a certain way,
Speaker 6: and like as much as I want to try to
Speaker 6: act in that way, I just like can't do it
Speaker 6: exactly how she's expecting. Yeah, So that's where I'm like,
Speaker 6: do I just keep trying to like change it slightly
Speaker 6: or do I have to, Like, I just really want
Speaker 6: things to work with her? And I know the other
Speaker 6: option is just to like be like, I'll find somebody else,
Speaker 6: but I care about this person, and I just I
Speaker 6: guess I just don't want to keep doing the same
Speaker 6: thing if it's not working. Ah.
Speaker 2: I'm not an ex but you know it's I've been
Speaker 2: in little situations that remind me of this and it
Speaker 2: my you know, my my, my gut thing that I
Speaker 2: would that I my gut feeling that I have a
Speaker 2: better situation like this is that like you know, you've
Speaker 2: tried to like over the years, to like talk it through,
Speaker 2: communicate yourself. She over and over she said, And you
Speaker 2: know you've tried to do what's best on your We
Speaker 2: already talked about your end, which is like being present
Speaker 2: and shit. And then on her end, it's like she's
Speaker 2: trying to not take out her stress on you. And
Speaker 2: she's told you that she's trying to not take her
Speaker 2: stress out on you, and and then she'll get upset
Speaker 2: and then she'll come back and be like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: I got upset, and then you'll you know, you'll kind
Speaker 2: of break and rec and being and break and reconvene.
Speaker 2: But but you're not noticed. But what I'm hearing is
Speaker 2: you're not noticing over time that the issue is improving,
Speaker 2: but that it's just stagnant. So so this is one
Speaker 2: of those situations where if you feel like something is
Speaker 2: not uh getting better, it's probably likely I mean, if
Speaker 2: you feel like something's not getting better, there does come
Speaker 2: a point where like you should I think you should
Speaker 2: always keep trying, you should always keep letting yourself be known.
Speaker 2: But they're kind of comes a point where you have
Speaker 2: to like look at a person and and and uh
Speaker 2: be like, you know what, this is not gonna improve
Speaker 2: or not not that let's say this not necessarily that
Speaker 2: this is not going to improve, but that in order
Speaker 2: to continue, you have to accept a reality where it
Speaker 2: does not improve, you know what I mean, Not say oh, oh,
Speaker 2: this is never gonna change, this person's ever gonna change,
Speaker 2: but accept the fact that they totally might never change.
Speaker 2: And if you really love this person, if you feel
Speaker 2: really compatible with this person, if you really like this
Speaker 2: relationship to move forward, there does have to be some
Speaker 2: form of acceptance where you're like, you know, I'm willing
Speaker 2: to like, okay, I'm willing to stay, but staying involves
Speaker 2: accepting that this thing is gonna uh may not ever
Speaker 2: fucking change, and that everything else around it is so
Speaker 2: is good enough that I'm okay with this or you leave,
Speaker 2: But you sound like you want to work it out.
Speaker 6: Yeah, for sure, No, I totally get what you're saying. Yeah,
Speaker 6: at some point, you do just have to accept somebody
Speaker 6: how they are and like they're showing you how they're
Speaker 6: gonna be. And I do think after a certain point
Speaker 6: you can maybe like hope for change as much as
Speaker 6: you want, but it is I think it does add
Speaker 6: more frustration where there doesn't need to be. I think,
Speaker 6: like trying to change somebody else really doesn't work. Ever,
Speaker 6: so I don't know, I see what you're saying. Man,
Speaker 6: for sure, Yeah.
Speaker 2: It doesn't work. But there's also yeah, I mean everything
Speaker 2: I said is that it doesn't work, but you should
Speaker 2: also you should, but you should keep letting yourself be
Speaker 2: known and like keep communicating. It gets exhausting, but yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like the reality, the real it gets exhausted. But
Speaker 2: the reality is like when someone kind of shows you
Speaker 2: that they're not going to change over a long period
Speaker 2: of time, they're basically telling you, like, you know, hey,
Speaker 2: take it or take it or leave it. And by
Speaker 2: the way, for sure, like and by the way, man,
Speaker 2: you know, on your end, it's like what the fuck
Speaker 2: it's situation. There's probably a lot of things where it's
Speaker 2: like she has to look at you and accept that
Speaker 2: you're not gonna change. You know. That's yeah, it's tough, man,
Speaker 2: Sorry what I said. Yeah, it's tough man.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I just every time I've gotten in a relationship,
Speaker 6: it just feels like I'm immediately a burden with like
Speaker 6: you have to now choose if you're gonna stay our lead,
Speaker 6: whereas like if you're simply you don't have that decision,
Speaker 6: and like I want to be with one person going
Speaker 6: forward to my life. But I guess just like that
Speaker 6: pressure of like are you gonna stay, you're gonna go
Speaker 6: is just like so hard to deal with because I
Speaker 6: also just want to focus on my own life and
Speaker 6: like the ship I got going on outside of a relationship,
Speaker 6: So I don't think thinking about a relationship all the
Speaker 6: time is like beneficial, but like I'd like to be
Speaker 6: in one.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not listen, I'll be honest, I'm not
Speaker 2: like a relationship expert. There is a part of me
Speaker 2: that there because there's another part of me that believes that, like,
Speaker 2: you know, the right relationship. I don't know if I
Speaker 2: don't know the more I get into things, I don't
Speaker 2: know if there is like such a binary of right
Speaker 2: and wrong relationship, But there is a part of it.
Speaker 2: There's a philosophy for me that goes, like you know,
Speaker 2: if you're in the right relationship, then you're not always
Speaker 2: thinking if you should stay or if you should leave. Right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, maybe it's just like kind of working out. I
Speaker 6: don't know, man, there's.
Speaker 2: A big part of me that feels that way too,
Speaker 2: that if you're in there is a big part of
Speaker 2: me that does feel like in terms of like chasing
Speaker 2: your alignment in your life, that like the things that
Speaker 2: you're because I audit my life a lot, and I think, like,
Speaker 2: what am I? What am I like sure of? Like
Speaker 2: there's certain aspects of my life, certain people in my life,
Speaker 2: certain things where I'm like, I'm one hundred percent sure
Speaker 2: about that. I don't waste time thinking about that. And
Speaker 2: there's tons of things in my life where I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm like that takescept a lot of my time thinking
Speaker 2: should I or shouldn't I? And there's a part of
Speaker 2: it and I don't want to I'd be a hypocrite
Speaker 2: if I told you that. I'm really good at always
Speaker 2: going with this guttural response. But there's a part of
Speaker 2: me that feels like if you have to go, oh,
Speaker 2: should I or shouldn't I, then it is a sign
Speaker 2: of of misalignment. But I don't have the wisdom yet
Speaker 2: to say if if I believe that's to be true.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think everybody kind of struggles with that, like
Speaker 6: forever pretty much. I don't know if you can really
Speaker 6: answer that question.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I want to do the science on it.
Speaker 2: I keep thinking, I'm like, i should take like in
Speaker 2: my life audit. So I'm like, I should. I want
Speaker 2: to live a life where I'm like a full body
Speaker 2: yes to everything, But I don't know if that's a fantasy.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I just want to feel excited about
Speaker 5: the decisions I'm making, you know. I want to wake
Speaker 5: up every day kind of being like, maybe everything's not perfect,
Speaker 5: but I'm excited about the choices I'm making and like
Speaker 5: the possibility of the choices I get to make today.
Speaker 6: But I don't know if that's like realistic. Like I
Speaker 6: feel like a lot of days I wake up and
Speaker 6: I'm like I just kind of have to do what
Speaker 6: I have to do. But I don't know if that's
Speaker 6: like the way to live life.
Speaker 2: You know. Well, I hope you figure it out, man, Thank.
Speaker 4: You, thank you.
Speaker 6: I was getting to dis respectful. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean that's what this whole stupid uh I
Speaker 2: think that's what the whole thing is is. Maybe it's
Speaker 2: not what the whole thing is, but uh no, I
Speaker 2: don't think you've I don't think you've gotten too introspective.
Speaker 2: This is a comple This has nothing to do with anything.
Speaker 2: But have you ever had the new This is not
Speaker 2: an AD. This is just I'm just thinking about this
Speaker 2: right now. There's nothing to do with anything we talked about.
Speaker 2: It's not an AD. But like, have you ever ever
Speaker 2: had the dude? I just had the popped caramel Eminem's?
Speaker 2: Have you ever had those?
Speaker 6: I've had the pop Skittles and there you've had the
Speaker 6: pop Skittles.
Speaker 2: Okay, the pop Skittles? Okay, So I so, dude, freeze
Speaker 2: dried candy is a huge thing all over the place now.
Speaker 2: I keep seeing it everywhere and I've never I've only
Speaker 2: seen it with fruity candies. This eminem ship, it's the
Speaker 2: only time I've seen it with like a chocolate candy.
Speaker 2: It's up there with it might be one of the
Speaker 2: best candies I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 6: It's really period.
Speaker 2: Like well, first of all, it like, well, it is
Speaker 2: not an AD. I'm just thinking about that the like
Speaker 2: so like one caramel eminem it's so dense right when
Speaker 2: you kind of eat it and it's gone, But when
Speaker 2: they pop it, the density is is uh bigger. So
Speaker 2: it feels like you're getting more out of the same
Speaker 2: amount of the thing because it's like it's all popped
Speaker 2: and stuff, and then the texture is a lot more.
Speaker 2: It's like crunchy and still CARAMELI you know, isn't.
Speaker 6: It more intensity or like you get a longer lasting experience, You.
Speaker 2: Get a longer lasting experience, Yeah, because I could. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you get a longer last nit you get more out
Speaker 2: of less. I would say, I think a bag of
Speaker 2: popped caramel eminems will last me longer than just a
Speaker 2: bag of like the regular ones. They're better than you've
Speaker 2: never had caramel, that's not have you ever had M
Speaker 2: and ms?
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I feel like I've only seen the peanut
Speaker 6: butter eminems. I don't know if I've ever even seen
Speaker 6: a bag of caramel eminem's in my life.
Speaker 2: They only have the popped version of the caramel ones.
Speaker 2: That's the only eminem that they've popped. But I am
Speaker 2: open to them popping more. I don't know what the
Speaker 2: science is behind freeze drying shit and popping shit. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I can buy a freeze dryer off
Speaker 2: of Amazon. Let me know I can. I I'm gonna
Speaker 2: if I can buy a freeze dry I'm gonna sure.
Speaker 6: I feel like you can't for sure?
Speaker 4: Like what would be the first thing that you would
Speaker 4: freeze dry to pump?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 2: I would pop a Nerds gummy clusters. I was gonna
Speaker 2: say that I've popped oh, But I don't think. I
Speaker 2: don't think the texture of them is conducive to popping
Speaker 2: and freeze drying.
Speaker 6: I feel like if you can pop a skittle and
Speaker 6: a caramel eminem, that's such a wide range of ingredients
Speaker 6: that I feel like you could pomp anything. Like I'm
Speaker 6: no candy genius, but I'm just thinking.
Speaker 2: What's your name again?
Speaker 6: That's Jackson?
Speaker 2: Jackson. I hope you figure out all that stuff with
Speaker 2: your girlfriend too.
Speaker 6: Thank you much. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 6: I love the podcast listening to a lot, and yeah,
Speaker 6: thanks for chatting with.
Speaker 2: Me, beautiful yet blessed man. Thank you very much for
Speaker 2: calling and Sharon, good.
Speaker 6: Luck, Okay, I have a good one.
Speaker 2: Man, man. I hope our caller figures it out. I'm
Speaker 2: curious in the comments when people think about his his dilemma,
Speaker 2: because I I'm Yeah, we've been talking a lot about
Speaker 2: relationships on the podcast for a bit, and uh, I
Speaker 2: mean with all things in life, it's like, yeah, everyone's
Speaker 2: trying to chase like alignment, you know, and I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't think perfect alignment part of me things perfect
Speaker 2: alignment in life is like a myth, you know.
Speaker 6: But.
Speaker 2: It could it could be possible. Maybe it's just me
Speaker 2: being me. Hello, Hello, is this Zeus?
Speaker 4: Is this the get Go?
Speaker 2: Yes, this is the Gecko and this is Zeus.
Speaker 4: Dude, Helia, I am Zeus. You are the gek Zeus.
Speaker 2: You texted me and you said you said that you
Speaker 2: are a caver and you go deep into underground caves
Speaker 2: for fun.
Speaker 6: I do.
Speaker 4: I do those things now.
Speaker 2: That is one of those things that I think is insane.
Speaker 4: You know, as I've been doing it over the years,
Speaker 4: I also think it's insane.
Speaker 2: I mean, you've seen that photo of that fucking you know.
Speaker 2: I don't even the guy what's his name? You know,
Speaker 2: the photo I'm talking.
Speaker 4: About, Yeah, I forget his name. That was a nutty
Speaker 4: putty cave.
Speaker 2: Nutty putty cave. You've seen that photo, right, So you
Speaker 2: tell me you see that photo and you're still like,
Speaker 2: all right, I'm down to risk that shit.
Speaker 4: Well, I personally don't go ahead first down holes. That's
Speaker 4: just a personal preference of mind.
Speaker 2: But that's what caving like the cave do you Like?
Speaker 2: That's what caving is, right, It's going into unexplored caves
Speaker 2: and fucking around and trying not to get stuck. Right.
Speaker 4: Uh, yeah, certain parts of it for sure. Yeah, you
Speaker 4: definitely don't want to get stuck or have a rock
Speaker 4: fall on you that kind of tings you into place
Speaker 4: that's uh, those are not good things.
Speaker 2: So what is the process of the kind of caving
Speaker 2: that you do.
Speaker 4: Well, a lot of people when when they think of caving,
Speaker 4: they think of like what you're thinking of is just
Speaker 4: going into really tight spaces and stuff. But like, there's
Speaker 4: a whole plethora of caves across the country where you know,
Speaker 4: you may be walking the entire time, you may be swimming,
Speaker 4: you may bring a boat, you may be doing a
Speaker 4: mix of all of those things. You may you may
Speaker 4: be going into really confined spaces with water. You know,
Speaker 4: it's a kind of a broad spectrum of what you
Speaker 4: can do underground. You can even do rope access and
Speaker 4: do the SRT and ride ropes down huge pits.
Speaker 2: But do you ever get freaked out that you're going
Speaker 2: to die like all the other people that died.
Speaker 4: I have never felt that way. I've never felt like
Speaker 4: I was going to die in a cave. But you've
Speaker 4: always got the possibility of like a loose rock falling
Speaker 4: on you, especially if there's a slope into a pit
Speaker 4: and you're on ropes, your rope could adjust and a
Speaker 4: rock could fall on you. And that, to me, that's
Speaker 4: one of the most dangerous hazards that I faced rock fall.
Speaker 2: What is the coolest cave that you've seen?
Speaker 4: I'm not going to say the name of it, but
Speaker 4: there's this epic cave in Tennessee where approximately.
Speaker 2: Wait, why would I say the name? Why would you
Speaker 2: say the name to the cave? Is it a private.
Speaker 4: It's on private property. You don't want to you don't
Speaker 4: want to harass private property owners, and you also don't
Speaker 4: want to increase traffic because caving is kind of a
Speaker 4: conservation minded thing, you know, like it's leave no trace,
Speaker 4: you leave nothing, but for footprints and take nothing but pictures.
Speaker 4: So if you increase traffic to the cave, then it
Speaker 4: just gets torn apart, basically. And if the public knew
Speaker 4: about it, then they're gonna want to go in there
Speaker 4: and not know what they're getting into and spray paint
Speaker 4: and leave trash and stuff.
Speaker 2: Okay, tell me about this cave.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Yeah, it's like a two hundred and sixty
Speaker 4: foot waterfall repel. You cave for about two hours and
Speaker 4: it's mostly walking stream passage. You're up to your waist
Speaker 4: to your chest and water most of the way, and
Speaker 4: then it breaks through this layer of limestone and drops
Speaker 4: two hundred and sixty feet up and you're about fifteen
Speaker 4: feet away from this raging waterfall. And when I did it,
Speaker 4: my buddy had one of those massive like diving lights,
Speaker 4: and that can light up a whole massive room, and
Speaker 4: so I went over the lip of this pit and
Speaker 4: the whole waterfall was lit up, and it was just
Speaker 4: the most incredible thing I've ever seen. And that ride
Speaker 4: down and climb up was one of the coolest experiences
Speaker 4: I've ever had. I love that.
Speaker 2: And and you just like broke into this guy's house
Speaker 2: and went into his cave, like this is where had
Speaker 2: you find this cave?
Speaker 4: We had permission, We had talked to him prior and
Speaker 4: gave us a day and a time to show up
Speaker 4: and go visit his cave. It's a very massive cave.
Speaker 4: We only sorry.
Speaker 2: How'd you know that he has a cave?
Speaker 4: Through the grottos in the local area. You can get
Speaker 4: property access through people in the grottos. Grottos are caving
Speaker 4: clubs that are mainly across the southeast, but they're all
Speaker 4: over the country. They're just caving clubs where people who
Speaker 4: like crawling around in caves can meet other cavers and
Speaker 4: go explore.
Speaker 2: How does it feel when you're in the cave?
Speaker 4: To me, it feels he it's you know, there's no
Speaker 4: self service, it's it's dark, it's quiet, it's some kind
Speaker 4: of relaxing. You just dress a little warm, and you
Speaker 4: dress for your environment and try to prepare because there's
Speaker 4: no help for you down there. If if something out
Speaker 4: that happens, you know, I I find peace in it.
Speaker 4: That's how I feel.
Speaker 2: What's the scariest thing you've encountered in one of the caves?
Speaker 4: Ooh, good question. I've had rocks fall on me a
Speaker 4: couple of times, nothing major, mostly just little pebbles and
Speaker 4: stuff like maybe a little bit about the size of
Speaker 4: my fist. I had one hit me in a thigh
Speaker 4: pretty bad and left a big bruise. What I think
Speaker 4: what scares me the most and what I think about
Speaker 4: the most is when you get on ropes and we're
Speaker 4: all we're all down there for fun, we're all trying
Speaker 4: to have a good time, and we're all hobbyists, and
Speaker 4: a lot of people don't really have extremely good vertical skills,
Speaker 4: and that's okay, but it's scary when something happens and
Speaker 4: they potentially become stuck on rope or can enter an
Speaker 4: uncontrolled repel on rope. So there are ways to medicate that.
Speaker 4: But I think I think that's the scariest thing to
Speaker 4: me is not necessarily knowing the skills of my partners
Speaker 4: doing the activity.
Speaker 2: M okay, So it's not being able to have a
Speaker 2: crew that you.
Speaker 4: Trust sometimes yeah, yeah, most of the time a cave
Speaker 4: with some very experienced cavers and we all know what
Speaker 4: we're doing, and even then things can still happen, for sure.
Speaker 2: How about creatures, you see any crazy creatures? Critters?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, okay, thousands of bats. They're really cool environments
Speaker 4: because a lot of the creatures in the cave are
Speaker 4: cave adapted, so they only live down there. So tons
Speaker 4: of salamanders. In my area Tennessee, we have this salamander
Speaker 4: called the Tennessee Cave salamander, and it's it's only a
Speaker 4: very small area that they live in, but they're really
Speaker 4: cool and they're quad. They swim around. They have these
Speaker 4: huge red gills, kind of like an ax A lottel. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Tons of crayfish, like cave adapted crayfish. There's cavefish that
Speaker 4: are white. The crayfish are also white. A bunch of
Speaker 4: different baths. I'm always scared that I'm gonna turn around
Speaker 4: the corner and see like a horny female, but bigfoot
Speaker 4: that's gonna kidnap me. That's always be in my big
Speaker 4: fear of underground.
Speaker 2: A lot of people that's their fantasy.
Speaker 4: Well it's not my fantasy, it's a fear of mine.
Speaker 2: So, uh, what do you do outside of caving?
Speaker 4: Outside of caving, I do a lot of fishing, hiking.
Speaker 4: I work in rope access and work on wind turbines,
Speaker 4: repair the blades on them. We repel off those giant
Speaker 4: death machines.
Speaker 2: Wind turbines, so you're just constantly around things that can
Speaker 2: kill you.
Speaker 4: I'm more scared of the wind turbines than I am
Speaker 4: of the cave, to be fair.
Speaker 2: Right, right right, literally, sorry, go ahead, no, you go ahead.
Speaker 4: A wind turbine is literally a giant machine that is
Speaker 4: designed to kill you. That's that's we say that in
Speaker 4: safety meetings all the time and keep it in the
Speaker 4: back of your head at all times. You're around a
Speaker 4: bunch of moving parts and they're you know, they're they're generators,
Speaker 4: they're electrical machines, so you've got to be very cautious
Speaker 4: with how you approach and treat those those things.
Speaker 2: You think more people have gotten killed by wind turbines
Speaker 2: or by caves?
Speaker 4: Oh, another good question. I I don't have an answer
Speaker 4: for you. A lot of people have died in caves.
Speaker 4: There have been several people that have died on win tournaments.
Speaker 4: I would say probably caves, but I don't have a
Speaker 4: factual answer to tell you. That's my my opinion. If
Speaker 4: I had to.
Speaker 2: Guess, zeus before we go, give me, give me the
Speaker 2: dream cave. Where's the cave where you're like, I've always
Speaker 2: wanted to look and see what's inside of this particular cave.
Speaker 4: The dream cave, I think a good multi drop cave.
Speaker 4: So it's like you repel in and you do some
Speaker 4: horizontal caving and it goes the trip is down, and
Speaker 4: we'll also do it. Let's make it a pull down
Speaker 4: cave to where when you go into the cave and
Speaker 4: you repel down to your first level, you pull the
Speaker 4: rope down behind you, and once you do that, you're
Speaker 4: committed to going to the bottom. So there is going
Speaker 4: to be a second entrance, at least one, and it's
Speaker 4: going to be beautiful through the whole way. Lots of formations,
Speaker 4: lots of critters, lots of like salamanders and cave adapted
Speaker 4: life through the passages and water. Water caves are a
Speaker 4: lot of fun when when you're repelling next to the
Speaker 4: waterfall and crawling through water or even walking or waiting
Speaker 4: through it. I think that's my perfect mix of caves.
Speaker 2: Wait, well, I guess I'm looking for a specific cave
Speaker 2: like a white wolf a white whale cave where you're like,
Speaker 2: I want to go to the you know, deep in
Speaker 2: fucking China or wherever, Like, is there a specific cave
Speaker 2: that you want to go see.
Speaker 4: A specific cave, probably let you gia. It's been closed
Speaker 4: the cavers for a long time. If you're not a researcher,
Speaker 4: let your gia.
Speaker 2: How does one Because if you're not a researcher, but
Speaker 2: aren't you, I mean you're a researcher. You're what's it
Speaker 2: really take to be if you're going into the cave
Speaker 2: to look at shit? That's researching, right, You don't need
Speaker 2: a piece of paper to say you're yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So like I do map caves. I I make my
Speaker 4: own maps and publish them through a caving club. But
Speaker 4: like they're looking for more people who have like who
Speaker 4: can study animals like cave adapted life, or study the geology,
Speaker 4: or study like why this cave the way it is is?
Speaker 4: Why is this cave the way it is? You know know,
Speaker 4: like so like the average caver doesn't typically get permission
Speaker 4: to go visit the bottom of letagee and see all
Speaker 4: the cool stuff.
Speaker 2: Why is this cave the way it is? It's profound
Speaker 2: good question.
Speaker 4: I think that all the time.
Speaker 2: Zeus, Is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 2: I love you get Thank you Zeus. I wish you
Speaker 2: good tiding. I'm gonna manifest that you have good cave
Speaker 2: experiences for the rest of your life.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Gek. I'll try to stay safe.
Speaker 2: See see Zeus, Zeus, see a Zeus, see you.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: I hope that God is okay in the caves. Man.
Speaker 2: I don't fuck around in caves, man, but I guess
Speaker 2: someone has to. I guess someone's got to see what's
Speaker 2: going on in those caves. We thank Zeus for being
Speaker 2: that's someone who from Alexia.
Speaker 4: Hello, Oh my god, Hello, Hi.
Speaker 2: What's your name?
Speaker 3: My name is Alexia.
Speaker 2: What's up, Alexia? How's life? Life is good?
Speaker 3: I'm standing in the middle of the forest right now.
Speaker 2: You're standing in the middle of the forest. Yeah, what
Speaker 2: are you doing in the middle of the forest.
Speaker 3: I'm actually at work. I do feel botany, so I'm
Speaker 3: like hiding plants and measuring trees and shit.
Speaker 2: Oh cool. How how tall was the last tree that
Speaker 2: you measured?
Speaker 3: Well, we measure the diameter, so I don't know, is
Speaker 3: maybe like a diameter of twenty.
Speaker 2: Five a diameter of twenty five?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean like sometimes we measure the height, but
Speaker 3: we're usually doing uh width for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you think trees are important people?
Speaker 3: I do think trees are important to people, seeing as
Speaker 3: we can't really like breathe without oxygen.
Speaker 2: That's true. I was gonna ask why you think trees
Speaker 2: are important? But that's good. But this this does make
Speaker 2: sense the whole but the whole thing of trees providing oxygen.
Speaker 2: I mean I'm in a city and there's like two
Speaker 2: trees in the whole city and everyone's breathing. Fine, you
Speaker 2: know does that How does that work?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 3: I think the idea is that like all the trees
Speaker 3: on the planet like dispersed the oxygen because there's something
Speaker 3: like I don't know, this is like totally made up maybe,
Speaker 3: but like the Amazon rainforest provides like some big percent
Speaker 3: of oxygen for the whole planet. So I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think it just spreads around.
Speaker 2: Alexia is was there a particular thing that you wanted
Speaker 2: to talk about today?
Speaker 3: No, I mean I just saw the you posted on
Speaker 3: your Instagram. I probably have had like a thousand things
Speaker 3: that I've wanted to say in the past, but uh no,
Speaker 3: I'm just a chilling right now.
Speaker 2: And how long do you have? How long do you
Speaker 2: how long do you have until you have to get
Speaker 2: off the phone and go do tree stuff.
Speaker 3: Well it's lunch now, so my timeline is pretty free.
Speaker 3: I think we have like a cool schedule. So we
Speaker 3: just kind of come out here and like fallock around
Speaker 3: for a while and then go back to the office.
Speaker 6: So it's chill.
Speaker 2: Is there. So okay, So you have like an actual
Speaker 2: office that you work out of too, it's not just yeah.
Speaker 3: No, yeah, it's like fun we do. So we do like,
Speaker 3: uh like forest assessments for like military land, like soldiers
Speaker 3: come out here and train and then we come through
Speaker 3: and see like how bad they messed it up or
Speaker 3: like how like if they can go back to the spot.
Speaker 3: I'm not totally sure. I just take all the data
Speaker 3: for it. My boss does whatever else with it.
Speaker 2: And do you ever see any cool animals while you're
Speaker 2: doing it? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we see. So I'm in Alaska and it's actually
Speaker 3: interesting because I've heard recently that you've had a lot
Speaker 3: of callers in Alaska, but you don't they don't seem
Speaker 3: to be interior. I live in Fairbanks in the interior.
Speaker 2: What does that mean? Interior? Exterior?
Speaker 3: So like the exterior is anywhere like around the coast
Speaker 3: or like I don't know, maybe like one hundred miles
Speaker 3: in from the coast, and then the interior is maybe
Speaker 3: like because there's like a mountain range that borders the coast,
Speaker 3: and I think the interior is considered inside the mountain range.
Speaker 3: So I'm in, like I'm in like central eastern Alaska.
Speaker 2: I want to go. I'm going to Alaska. I have
Speaker 2: a show there in October. I'm gonna probably do.
Speaker 3: Some I know, I'm literally signed up for the I'm
Speaker 3: signed up for the thing. Hell yeah, yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 3: know the thing.
Speaker 2: Do you have anyh go ahead? Go ahead?
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, yeah, Well everyone from Fairbanks has to go
Speaker 3: to Anchorage for like events and stuff, and it's like
Speaker 3: six hour drive. So I'm pretty stoked for that. It's
Speaker 3: gonna be fun. I think if you get the chance,
Speaker 3: you should come to Fairbanks. Although it's October so there's
Speaker 3: probably not a lot happening, I you know.
Speaker 2: I to me, when people say like, oh, there's not
Speaker 2: a lot happening because it's you know, X month, I
Speaker 2: never I never like when people say that, because it's like,
Speaker 2: you know, listen, there's some The main attractions of any
Speaker 2: place to me are like, you know, just some fucking
Speaker 2: guy walking around, you know, and everywhere you know, I'm
Speaker 2: whatever the weather, whatever the time, everywhere in the world,
Speaker 2: there's always just you know, some fucking guy walking around
Speaker 2: eating something, and I want to talk to that guy.
Speaker 2: So I don't, like, I don't always people do this
Speaker 2: thing about the weather where it's like, why would you
Speaker 2: go there in that weather? And it's like, well, I
Speaker 2: don't know, it's not why do I I just the
Speaker 2: idea that like you always have to travel to a
Speaker 2: place when the weather is perfect. I resent that.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're totally right, honestly, And you know what,
Speaker 3: there's so many like crazy people here, but I think
Speaker 3: that you'd have a great time if you got to
Speaker 3: talk to some people on the street.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: People keep telling me that about Alaska, that there's uh
Speaker 2: because it's either it's either always really dark or really sunny.
Speaker 3: Right yeah, like right now we have like twenty well
Speaker 3: it's almost twenty four hours of daylight. Solstice is next
Speaker 3: whoa really really yeah, Like it's really hard to go
Speaker 3: to bed at night because it's just like sunshine out
Speaker 3: all the time.
Speaker 2: WHOA, Okay, I know I just made that whole stink
Speaker 2: about the weather thing. But I would like to see that.
Speaker 2: That sounds very no.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's like the highlight is like we we Alaskan,
Speaker 3: We really like to tell people to come up here
Speaker 3: during the summer so they can get to see the
Speaker 3: midnight sun. It's really cool. But you know winter is
Speaker 3: really cool too, is Yeah, I will would recommend ten
Speaker 3: out of ten in.
Speaker 2: October is it fully dark?
Speaker 3: So October it's like so like the solstice and the
Speaker 3: summer is June twentieth, and then the equinoxes December twenty
Speaker 3: fifth or something, so that's like the lightest and then
Speaker 3: the darkest day of the year. So October is like
Speaker 3: kind of in between. I feel like October would be
Speaker 3: like a typical daylight cycle for like in the lower forty.
Speaker 2: Eight Alexia, Yeah, is there anything you want to say
Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: I would like to say, thanks for picking up and
Speaker 3: peace and love.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Alexia, have a good rest of your entire life.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Goes on line, thank you calls every night.
Speaker 4: Everything goes to and his eye's.
Speaker 2: Teaching you to a house of your life. But he's
Speaker 2: not really an expert.