WEBVTT - Second Date Update: First Time Tinderer

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<v Speaker 1>Second day. You know, we've talked about people getting back

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<v Speaker 1>into the dating game after being out of it for

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<v Speaker 1>a while, but we don't normally speak to people on

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<v Speaker 1>this segment who are using dating apps for the very

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<v Speaker 1>first time ever. Every it's like a time warp. If

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<v Speaker 1>you haven't dated since twenty ten and you met somebody

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<v Speaker 1>at a grocery store. Nowadays, you're getting an eggplant, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's a digital one, and I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>you even wanted it in the first place. But that's

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<v Speaker 1>what happened with Rachel. Recently. She emailed us saying this

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<v Speaker 1>is her very first time being on a dating app,

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<v Speaker 1>and she actually met a great guy who's somehow not

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<v Speaker 1>calling her back. So Rachel, welcome, Hey, thanks for having me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just curious because I've ever been on dating apps, right,

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<v Speaker 1>because I met my husband like before, they were huge,

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<v Speaker 1>Like what is it like for your first time? It

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<v Speaker 1>made me feel kind of old too, though, I mean, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I had been in a relationship since the college, so

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<v Speaker 1>says you know what I mean? Done, so, like I

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<v Speaker 1>just completely knew for me and when I got flooded

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<v Speaker 1>with all these guys, it was exciting. It kind of

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<v Speaker 1>boosted my ego, but it took me about like two

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<v Speaker 1>and a half weeks to find someone that actually fit

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<v Speaker 1>all of my criteria and that was Jack. Yeah, so

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<v Speaker 1>you messaged him, so he reached out to me. So

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<v Speaker 1>I thought that was vulnerable, you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>like that's pretty hardcore and not at all but thousands,

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<v Speaker 1>but that's okay, he said, Hey, he's like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>he's so. I mean, how long did it take you

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<v Speaker 1>to go out with him? Like between talking to him

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<v Speaker 1>on the app and then the actual date actually about

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<v Speaker 1>five days So we started kind of like Sunday Monday

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<v Speaker 1>talking and then that weekend he was free and I

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<v Speaker 1>was free. So even okay, And I feel like a

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<v Speaker 1>weekend date is a big commitment date. I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>like using your weekend for that. I'll take any day

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<v Speaker 1>of the week. I think single people think anytime is

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<v Speaker 1>a good time. Ye married people like, my weekend is

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<v Speaker 1>my own time. So what did you guys end up doing? Rachel?

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<v Speaker 1>So we ended up going to dinner? Okay, it was

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<v Speaker 1>really really sweet. We met there. So I took an

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<v Speaker 1>uber And what was that like for you? Because it's

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<v Speaker 1>like your first dating, nothing is amazing it's her first

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<v Speaker 1>dating map, it's the first guy she's met this, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>I would be so nervous if I were you, just

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<v Speaker 1>because god, that's a lot. It's a lot. I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>huge fan of broad City, and I felt like I

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<v Speaker 1>was in bost City. What was the actual date? Like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh well, he was just such a gentleman, like he

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<v Speaker 1>was dreaming. He was such a good listener to you guys, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh that's important. He was, Yeah, yeah, it's important. He

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<v Speaker 1>did your ex come up a lot, because I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>you did mention to us that you were together for

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<v Speaker 1>a really really long time. It did, because, like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>it was over a decade and he's saying that came up.

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<v Speaker 1>He seemed to roll with it and it didn't seem

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<v Speaker 1>to bother him. I mean, because here's the thing. I

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<v Speaker 1>was upfront with him from the getto and I told

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<v Speaker 1>him straightforward that I'm not going to go home with him.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh oh, this is like immediately after the handshaker, When

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<v Speaker 1>is this? This was like after the first appetexer, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>because I wanted to kind of loosen things up, but

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<v Speaker 1>I just didn't want to get too loose, if you

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<v Speaker 1>know what I mean. Okay, but that also sounds good.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to set boundaries and he should. It could

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<v Speaker 1>also come across as rude, though, like you're also assuming

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<v Speaker 1>that that's all he's looking for, you know, like Brooks

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<v Speaker 1>only saying that because she never never crossed her, so

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<v Speaker 1>he could have been insulted by that was his reaction.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you able to gauge it. He was taken aback,

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<v Speaker 1>but he said he wasn't expect anything, So maybe, like

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<v Speaker 1>you said, it just kind of threw him off or whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>And I mean, here's the thing. When you talked about

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<v Speaker 1>bringing up my ex for the first time, I didn't.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't cry, guys, you know I was on the day.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm glad teared up whenever I think of Dylan. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>that's my my ex and I've been broken up. I

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<v Speaker 1>hear Rachel crying right now. You've been just mentioning it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's hard. You probably were still emotional then. If you're

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<v Speaker 1>just like just now not crying talking about him, I

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<v Speaker 1>think maybe that the drinks didn't help, you know. Do

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<v Speaker 1>you think that that's why Jack isn't calling you back.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think so. No, he was, like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>he didn't see it like he didn't seem like he

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<v Speaker 1>was weirded out by it at all, and good, No,

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<v Speaker 1>it seems kind. We all know you obviously didn't hook up,

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<v Speaker 1>but did you guys like kiss or hug or like

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<v Speaker 1>do anything else that's like intimate. No, he was a gentleman,

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<v Speaker 1>so we did like this side hid thing side I

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<v Speaker 1>hug like I do it all my friends. Okay, that's

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<v Speaker 1>a good sign. It was my first date, Like, I

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<v Speaker 1>haven't been in an real, imperson date in over a decade.

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<v Speaker 1>But give me. Yeah, we're we're just sorry. We've heard

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of dating stories, but your sounds very nice,

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<v Speaker 1>especially for your first time back into the dating pool,

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<v Speaker 1>first time on a dating app. So let's let's play

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<v Speaker 1>a song we'll give not doing uh oh Jack Jack.

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<v Speaker 1>I am so sorry. I promise you, Rachel, I will

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<v Speaker 1>not call him Dylan. In fact, this is gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>the last time I ever say Dylan on this show. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>what a song. We'll come back and we'll call it

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<v Speaker 1>Jack for you, not Dylan. Right after this second date,

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<v Speaker 1>dialing a number if you're just joining us for the

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<v Speaker 1>second date. We're talking to Rachel, who went on her

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<v Speaker 1>first first date in a very long time. Yeah, she said,

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<v Speaker 1>it's been more than a decade since she's gone on one,

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<v Speaker 1>and she's never been on a dating app before. This

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<v Speaker 1>was her first time on a dating app and that

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<v Speaker 1>was a little bit overwhelming, which is understandable. In fact,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna do an impression right now of a guy

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<v Speaker 1>seeing fresh meat on a dating down. Oh yeah, oh

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<v Speaker 1>a newbie. We're gonna stay at Applebee's for twenty minutes

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<v Speaker 1>and then go back to my mom's house and she's

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<v Speaker 1>gonna watch me play Mario kart oh Man. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>like she was dating college all over again. Jack, who

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<v Speaker 1>she met, wasn't like that. He was different. He was

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<v Speaker 1>a gentleman. And how do I know that they were

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<v Speaker 1>a good match because Rachel said she didn't cry once

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<v Speaker 1>during their entire cry about her ex, well cry in

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<v Speaker 1>general tears. So, Rachel, we're about to give Jack a call.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you feeling? Honestly, I'm hoping for the best.

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<v Speaker 1>There was nothing but positive vibes. So I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>something happened, maybe at his job or family. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope it's getting's okay, but he's just perfect. And

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<v Speaker 1>also it's like, you know this is new to you.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of options out there that you haven't

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<v Speaker 1>even exploded. Kept talking. That's how you get over people. Jazz.

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<v Speaker 1>There is one thing that doesn't change in dating, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's vibes. Like you can tell if something happened on

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<v Speaker 1>the date. You can pinpoint a moment usually, so you

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<v Speaker 1>don't feel like there was something, then maybe there was.

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<v Speaker 1>She hasn't even really a dated in her adult life.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you've had the same boyfriend since you were

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<v Speaker 1>in college, you know, like just want you to make

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<v Speaker 1>up for lost time. But okay, let's call Jack. You

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<v Speaker 1>know what, We're just gonna stop projecting our feelings and

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<v Speaker 1>our failed relationships onto you. We're just gonna dial Jack

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<v Speaker 1>and see what he has to say. Okay, okay, okay, Yeah, Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>Hey is this Jack? Yeah? This is Jack. Who's this?

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<v Speaker 1>Hey Jack? My name is Jeff from the radio show

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<v Speaker 1>Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. Hello. Oh that's that's

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<v Speaker 1>my co host Brook, who just jumped in with a

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<v Speaker 1>weird voice. No, it just sounded like how he was

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<v Speaker 1>hitting on us when he answered the phone. So I

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<v Speaker 1>was like returning the favorite Jack. Oh yeah, I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's interesting because like it was an unknown number, right,

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<v Speaker 1>were you expecting someone else on the phone? Jack, I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>what is this all about? You're very confused. This lady

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<v Speaker 1>is walking at you and kind of hitting on you

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<v Speaker 1>at a certain time. So we're a morning radio show

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<v Speaker 1>and we're doing a segment called a second Date Update

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<v Speaker 1>where we're trying to help one of our listeners get

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<v Speaker 1>in touch with you after you went out. Oh geez

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<v Speaker 1>u sounds like fun right? All right, Um, what do

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<v Speaker 1>you what do you need from me? Well, we heard

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of good things about you, so that's a

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<v Speaker 1>good start, and we heard them from one of our

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<v Speaker 1>listeners name Rachel. Oh okay, yeah, yeah, So tell us

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<v Speaker 1>what you thought about Rachel? Um? I mean Rachel? Was

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<v Speaker 1>she's cool, she's nice? Um? Would she attracted me? Were

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<v Speaker 1>you attracted to her? Did you feel like you guys

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<v Speaker 1>had some chemistry? Yeah? You know. Uh, I think she's beautiful,

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<v Speaker 1>she's really cool, and I think maybe she's just going

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<v Speaker 1>through a lot right now and working through stuff. But

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<v Speaker 1>what do you mean? I was not prepared to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about this, It's okay. I mean she told some stuff

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<v Speaker 1>about like her X and maybe how she talked about

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<v Speaker 1>that on the date She's had a lot of really

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<v Speaker 1>nice things about you, about how you're a great guy

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<v Speaker 1>and a good listener. She said, you're a great listener.

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<v Speaker 1>Well that's super nice of her. Um. I she was

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<v Speaker 1>just really specific about what she wants and a guy,

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<v Speaker 1>and uh kind of went on and on about how

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<v Speaker 1>I fit those things, and that was that wasn't good

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<v Speaker 1>to you. I mean it's nice, it is nice. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>I think it was just like a little much at

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<v Speaker 1>some point. Uh, what was much like, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>first dates are supposed to be a little more chill

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<v Speaker 1>and steer the conversation toward things that are maybe more

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<v Speaker 1>fun and getting to know each other, and it was

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<v Speaker 1>just basically at one point I was like, look, I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to get to know you, you know, And

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<v Speaker 1>she smiled, and she reached in her purse and handed

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<v Speaker 1>me an index card. Okay, what was on the index card?

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<v Speaker 1>Index cards are sexy? Yeah? Is it a recipe from

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<v Speaker 1>her grandma or something? I kind of wish it was? Um.

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<v Speaker 1>On top, it said physical boundaries and kind of listed

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<v Speaker 1>all these physical things that she would allow, and she

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<v Speaker 1>also listed them by date. Oh you mean like like

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<v Speaker 1>first kiss, three dates in you can touch a butt

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<v Speaker 1>four dates exactly. Wow, really, oh my gosh, a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of planning. Do you have the card? Yeah? Oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>Date one fist bump, fist bump, i'd hug and high five.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, send me the card before the day. Yea.

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<v Speaker 1>From from what we heard, it sounded like you did

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<v Speaker 1>that side hug on the first day. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we definitely we did. Actually we did do. Yeah. How

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<v Speaker 1>was it? Oh, it was exactly what you did expect

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<v Speaker 1>from OK. So it wasn't necessarily her boundaries, it was

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<v Speaker 1>the way they were presented. Is that what you're saying.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's cool, like her therapist says, always create

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<v Speaker 1>boundaries what she told me, you know, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's super healthy. That's great, But it's just not what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm looking for. It's just a little much to me.

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<v Speaker 1>And especially talking about on the first date like that.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, maybe there's a more organic way to work

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<v Speaker 1>in your boundaries, Like what's more organic than having her

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<v Speaker 1>beyond the radio with you and tell her her boundaries

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<v Speaker 1>right now because she's been on the other line listening

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<v Speaker 1>Jack and she wants to talk to you. No, yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>she's not respecting your boundary in that way, No, Jack, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we had such a great time. I mean, you you're

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<v Speaker 1>such as we your heart. You just told me that

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<v Speaker 1>you you like like you think I'm attractive, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm trying to be a great communicator, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I mean, Like no gray areas. I thought you

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<v Speaker 1>would appreciate to know exactly what I want what I meeting,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like I'm not I'm not trying to play game.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah that's a hot pitch right there. I like it. Jack.

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<v Speaker 1>Feel free to respond Rachel Rachel. Okay, look, this is

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<v Speaker 1>a I can't believe you're we're on the radio right now.

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<v Speaker 1>This is ridiculous. Um, ridiculous. Is a little offensive to me, Yeah,

0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:22.120
<v Speaker 1>I think it's very It's just even though I think

0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:25.840
<v Speaker 1>you're a great person, you were clearly physically attractive, and

0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.400
<v Speaker 1>it's just like the chemistry was just not there, you know,

0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:33.720
<v Speaker 1>And like the way this this whole boundary note card

0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:36.520
<v Speaker 1>thing was was brought up, it just kind of killed

0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:38.920
<v Speaker 1>the vibe. And I know, maybe, dude, do you know

0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:41.079
<v Speaker 1>how many times a note card would have saved me

0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:43.800
<v Speaker 1>on one of my Craigslist meetups, whether or not, like

0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:46.760
<v Speaker 1>you think it's if it's going too far, it's like

0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.480
<v Speaker 1>taking the spontaneity out of it. She's just trying to

0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:54.040
<v Speaker 1>show you what she's comfortable with doing before things get awkward.

0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:59.720
<v Speaker 1>I think. I mean, it's her first day in a really,

0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:01.920
<v Speaker 1>really long time, so she's just trying to get her

0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:04.000
<v Speaker 1>feedback under her. It doesn't mean you need to be

0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:06.160
<v Speaker 1>a robot. It's like when I walked through your car,

0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:07.920
<v Speaker 1>I have to pull out the note card and check

0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:12.240
<v Speaker 1>what I can do. If it's like five hugs. You

0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:15.280
<v Speaker 1>said we didn't have any chemistry, but I guarantee that

0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:18.440
<v Speaker 1>server what it told you different, And to be honest,

0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:22.480
<v Speaker 1>it's your loss because after date number five, things really

0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:26.040
<v Speaker 1>open up. Oh I was out on the card. Yeah? No,

0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:28.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean the thing about Rachel, she sounds like someone

0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:32.680
<v Speaker 1>who's very organized and maybe very different from you and

0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:35.920
<v Speaker 1>could really bring some other aspects to your life that

0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:37.800
<v Speaker 1>you don't have. Right now, let's get to the second

0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:39.800
<v Speaker 1>day on your note card so we can get to

0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:41.960
<v Speaker 1>some of that other stuff because we'd like to pay

0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.520
<v Speaker 1>for that. What do you say, Jack, give it another

0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:48.480
<v Speaker 1>shot happen? Rachel? I just I think it's cool that

0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:50.400
<v Speaker 1>you think we had chemistry. I just think that like

0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:52.040
<v Speaker 1>a lot of the fun was kind of drained out

0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.000
<v Speaker 1>of it as soon as those boundaries came up and

0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:56.520
<v Speaker 1>give her a second chance. On the second day, she

0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:59.040
<v Speaker 1>knows that already she doesn't have a second note card,

0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 1>do you, Rachel, you have another note? Not anymore? No,

0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.320
<v Speaker 1>it's a pencil. Maybe you could just change. She's funny.

0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:09.480
<v Speaker 1>She's funny. Jack, all right, you know, if we can

0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 1>start over, If we can start over, and it's like

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:19.720
<v Speaker 1>a punch card, you're gonna get a freelance. So are

0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:21.560
<v Speaker 1>you just saying yes? Is that what you're saying, Jack?

0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:25.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean, yeah, Okay, I'll say yes, but I'll pretend

0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:32.680
<v Speaker 1>like the card never happened. Okay, she still Jack, I'm

0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:36.400
<v Speaker 1>actually excited and I'm really happy that I was vulnerable

0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:42.040
<v Speaker 1>and call it the station. Thank you guys. You barely

0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.600
<v Speaker 1>cried once during this entire call. That must mean it

0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.120
<v Speaker 1>was a positive experience. Yeah, just don't say that code

0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:53.320
<v Speaker 1>word that makes her cry. It's stilling. Oh God, Broke

0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:54.600
<v Speaker 1>and Jeffrey in the morning