WEBVTT - The Third Time's A Charm with Jasmin Brown 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:05.680 When I became a mother, there were certain things that 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:09.559 I was only able to experience as a mom, no 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:11.760 matter how much people told me, you had to be 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:16.240 in the thick of it. I feel so responsible these days. 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:24.080 Responsibility looks good on you, sis, dead assadass. Hey, I'm 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:27.040 Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's. 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:30.040 You may know us from posting funny videos with our 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:31.920 voice and reading. 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:35.080 Each other publicly as a form of therby. Wait, I 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:38.760 make you need therby most days. Wow. Oh, and one 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:40.800 more important thing to mention, we're married. 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:43.800 Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:46.680 dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics. 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:49.280 Things most folks don't want to talk about. 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:51.360 Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:53.480 is a term that we say every day. So when 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:57.360 we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:00.000 the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the day 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:03.000 we about to take Bilotov to a whole new level. 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:12.160 Dead ass starts right now, all right, story time. So 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:14.920 if you're wondering if this was planned, it wasn't. I mean, 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:16.959 it was planned for me to have Jazzy here with 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:22.080 me today. However, the whole, like Denilone situation black, the 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:28.840 black underlay, the black leggings totally not planned. However, according 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.800 to Triple, if both of us look three inches to 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:34.040 the right and two inches down our side, profiles are 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:38.400 giving family. And that's because we are yeah so jazzy, 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:41.680 and I recently found out that we are a legitimate family. Now. 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:46.280 First of all, finding someone who is of Jamaican and 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:50.480 Vincy Vincenian descent is very like, It's not common. I 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:54.360 feel like I usually see someone who's like Jamaican and Trinidadian, 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:58.480 you know, maybe Vincy and Guyanese. But I've never actually 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:00.800 met someone right. And I think when we first met, 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:03.200 I had asked you if you were like Guyanese or something. Yeah, 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:05.680 you were like, no, My my dad's from Jamaica. My 0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:07.760 mom's from Saint I say Vincent. And I was like what, 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:09.359 But you know what's funny. 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:12.720 My whole life I thought that I was Trinny was 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:14.960 my mom was born in Trinidad, but she would always 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:17.480 say born in Trinidad by way of Saint Vincent, Like 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:19.040 my whole family's from Saint Vincent. 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:22.720 So in my mind, I'm like, aren't you where you're from, right, 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:24.520 I was like, where you were born? So she was 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:27.720 like raised in Trinidad, she was born there? Oh she 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:31.519 was born in Trinidad. Oh, yes, so she was born 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:32.880 in Trinidad, but then she came over. 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:35.799 Yeah because her fam is her both her parents are 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:41.000 from Saint Vincent. Okay, however, her dad was in Trinidad 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.359 for some business and that's where she ended up being born. 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:47.639 Gotcha, gotcha? Gotcha dad? Like nationality wise, I guess she's 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:50.560 technically Trinidad yet, right, But the whole family, the whole 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:53.280 bloodline is it's fency Okay, So we had to scale 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:55.480 it back. So I was at Jasmine's baby shower, okay, 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:58.480 having a grand all time, putting the rug, and then 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:00.800 I introduced myself to your mom and dad, which is 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.920 such a West Indian thing. Introducing yourself to everybody. Absolutely 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:05.440 you have to. You can't walk into a room and 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:08.640 not slate, especially not speak, not introduce yourself, because then 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:12.360 they're gonna question if you have Mana's right. So in 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:15.280 order to be Mana Zebel to your mom and dad, 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:18.760 I went over and introduced myself and they were so sweet. 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:20.200 If father gave me a big hug and then they 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:22.400 looked over and they were like Zach. And I'm like, yes, Ax, 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:26.239 my husband like Zach, Zach's my husband. And then I 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:27.840 saw your mom and I was like, oh, my goodness, 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:30.560 you're from Saint Vincent and she said yes. I said, oh, 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:32.480 my dad is from there too, and I saw her 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:35.640 eyes get wide and then she like literally grabbed my 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:38.480 arm and sat me next to her and she was like, so, 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.040 what's your last name, what's your dad's last name, what's 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:43.160 your family name? Do you know this person? Which part 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:45.920 of Saint Vincent? And that's how typical West Indians are, right. 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:48.560 We get together and we do the whole tracing of 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:51.960 the bloodline and the family tree based on last names 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.040 and which part you're from. Right. So we did all 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:56.840 of the tracing and everything, and I said to her, 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:58.960 I was like, listen, I'm gonna have to like talk 0:03:59.000 --> 0:04:01.600 to my dad and cross reference and see what's happening. 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:04.440 So she said, here's my phone number. You have to 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:07.240 call me and text me. So fast forward. Now I'm 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:09.840 texting Jazzy on the side like Hey, I'm talking to 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:12.960 your mom. We're having this whole conversation over here, and 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:15.440 my dad is now going back and forth with your 0:04:15.520 --> 0:04:18.240 mom about like who they know, what are the people 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:21.560 they know, what areas they're from. And there's definitely some 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:23.920 crossing of family there. Now we could be third or 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:28.560 fourth cousins, but cousins nonetheless. And you know in the Islands, 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:32.599 if one person is your cousin, everybody's your cousin. So 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:34.960 that was a fun thing to find out about Jazzy 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:37.240 because we've always talked about like how we have the 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:40.000 similar kind of mixtures. People always say that we look 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:42.880 alive yep, yep, exactly, So it just kind of made 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:45.039 sense and it was actually kind of cool to you related. 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:48.200 It's like, well, we are related, we are we are 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:52.400 so me. I'm a baby by cousin. Okay, we're gonna 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:55.240 sit down and we're gonna talk. The overarching topic for 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:58.920 this season is perception versus reality, And the biggest part 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.560 about this interview with Jazzy it's her first as a 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:06.560 new mom. That's so crazy, so talk about relating on 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:09.320 a whole nother level. We're gonna dive in and talk 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:11.560 about what life has been looking like for you lately, 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:13.919 and I'm so honored for you to have to be 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:16.600 sitting down with me for the first time with a 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.880 baby girl off in the wings with mom and the 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:22.080 boys learning how to read, learning how to read, and 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:26.560 probably dunk a basketball at three months. All right, karaoke time? 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:28.240 Did we figure out a karaokee song? 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:28.480 Yet? 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:30.719 Jazzon and I were going through like the whole gamut 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.920 of all the songs that we enjoy. One was Little Kim, 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.760 but she was a bit risk for the episode. So 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:39.320 I mean, I mean, we do risk a, we do risky, 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:43.120 we do risk a. But you're from the late nineties, 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.039 early two thousands. Good is mad songs that I could sing, son, 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:47.600 I could pull it, masks up. I just want to 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:49.960 know what your favorite could Dude? Did you have I 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.560 Know you love Me? Like cook food? Even though a 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:57.280 nigga got a move like a crooked move, she bars 0:05:57.360 --> 0:06:03.320 did not sound familiar. No, what is that zy song? Cry? Oh? Yes, 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:05.440 the flow was a little off though the melody was off. 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:06.560 Do it again, Do it again? 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:11.120 It's because it's acapella. It's a cappella. Acapella, a cappella. 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:15.560 I think with the a acapella like showtime about. 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:18.080 The Okay, it came to mind, I'm thinking about because 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:19.880 there's one part that I don't know. Good dude, I 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:22.240 know you love me like cook food, even though a 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:25.000 nigga gotta move like a crooked move. We were together 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.240 on the block since free Lunch. They should have been 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:28.600 together having four. 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:31.839 Seasons, but we used to. We used to use umbrellas 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.640 to face the bad weather. Now we travel first class 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:38.080 to change the four never have bunches, just me and you. 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:41.880 I loved your point of view because you have no punches. 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.600 Bars. But you weren't a partner of it. Though we're 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:48.320 supposed to do it together. I know it's all right. 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:50.360 Though you was in your element. I let you rock. 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:52.680 I let you rock. I liked it, you was feeling it. 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.800 I was see. Sometimes it comes to you in the moment. 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:56.200 You know what I'm saying. So I let you rock. 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:58.719 You might guessterday booth. Yeah, it's your world. I'm just 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:02.479 living in it right now, all right. So I'm gonna 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:04.040 brush up on my jay Z lyrics real quick. I'm 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.279 gonna pay some bills as well. We might feed some babies, 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:09.359 make sure everybody's still alive and ticking, and we'll be 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:11.520 back with the meat of the show with Jasmine Brown. 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:17.840 All right, y'all, today you figured out my guests because 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:19.640 I gave it away. I typically like to make it 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:21.760 like really interesting in the beginning, but I was so 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:24.280 excited to have my girl, Jazzmine Brown. Y'all know her 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:28.080 as watch Jazzy on Instagram. A stand up comedian, a 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:32.520 character artist, and, as we learned recently, my cousin, but 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:36.160 also an actress as well. Jazzy us is comedy to 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:40.320 give a multi perspective view at life's ups and downs. 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:43.200 One of my favorite characters of her, Miss Toya turn Up, 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:46.960 Oh my gosh, an uncouth around the way girl who 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:49.360 says what's on her mind. And I'm sure many can 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:51.440 relate to. Even if y'all don't want to admit it, 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:53.600 I know there's a couple Toya turn Up, some real 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.160 life out there and it's all good, all good, no 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:59.280 judgment zone at all. Welcome Jazzy to the show, y'all. 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:02.320 What's up, girl? What's up? That was a good intro? 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:04.240 Thank you. You know it's funny we always have the 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:07.320 intro here. But what I like to do is for 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:10.600 my guest, you being like the second or third. So 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:12.880 this is something I'm starting, but I want you to 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:16.800 tell me who's Jazzy, who's Jazmine Brown? And is there 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:17.320 a difference? 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:21.520 Yeah, well, you know what it's the question is who's 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.720 watched Jazzy, who's Jazzy and who's Jazzmin Brown? 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:29.120 Okay, because watch Jazzy man that whole And. 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:30.600 It's funny because it's like I don't want to say 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:34.199 it's a character, because that's really my personality. Like how 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:37.080 I started, like in the car doing my rant, saying whatever, 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.640 and like those clips were going viral like that was 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:42.120 watched Jazzy. So it was like a girl that you 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:44.959 would watch my name is Jazzy and just keep watching me. 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:45.439 Okay. 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:47.640 But then it got like when I started to grow 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:52.400 up and mature, and but my audience not everybody would 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:55.280 come with me, so I found myself having to still 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:56.400 do the same stuff. 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:57.079 Okay. 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:59.719 So that's when I felt like, Okay, now it's it's 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:01.880 because I'm more of a character now because I can't 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:02.760 grow out of it. 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:05.760 I mean I can, but the people want this. So 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:09.480 you were trying to evolve from watch but she got stuck. 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:13.200 Yeah, because I noticed that like people want like if 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:14.800 they relate to you in one way, they want to 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:16.880 they want you to stay that way. And then there's 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:18.560 some people who will grow with you, like they have 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:20.640 kids too, Like a lot of other influences shout out 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:22.760 to La La Milan, like she just had a baby 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:26.520 as well, Candice and Omar had a baby, so like 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.160 they go from being like influencers and now their parents. 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:32.120 So now like we now all of us can relate 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.520 to each other. Now, yes, but like my content back 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.360 in the day of like you know, niggas ain't shit 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:41.600 and just what is somebody's supposed to be doing this 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:42.800 and this and this for you. 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:46.800 It's just it's just different now. But people want me there, right, 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:48.240 They want to hold you to that. They want to 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:48.880 hold me there. 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:51.240 So now it's like someone told me, they were like, oh, ever, 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:52.400 since you got a man, you think you a. 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:56.760 Profit, you're a prophet, Like that's not what I think. 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:58.800 That's not what you think. That that's what you believe, right, 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.720 but like versus reality exactly. 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:05.120 So that's when I realized I had to try to 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:08.800 just keep that thing the thing because it was selling, 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:11.640 you know, like doing my comedy, doing my shows, like 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:16.240 even like Toya turn Up, that character was created way before, 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.760 like the Suki Hannas and Sexy Reds and city girls 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:20.000 like that was like, you know. 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:22.280 You were the original but O g Like we said, yeah. 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:25.000 So now it's like if I if that character, if 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:28.440 I were to keep going, like it's right on brand 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:30.960 now because that's kind of how like a lot of 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:33.240 the culture, like it has gone in that kind of direction. 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.000 But I've even had to take a break on her 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:38.360 so I could just focus on Okay, who am I? 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:40.320 Like? What am I doing? Right? So we're talking about 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.920 jazz now. We talked about Watch Jazzy, Jazzy Jazz. 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:47.320 Yeah, Jazzy is that's like my family Jazz Jazzy. You know, 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:51.000 at home, I'm Auntie Jazzy, you know, so that's like 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:56.480 my home name, you know, Jazzy Watch Jazzy, Yes, my 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:56.920 home name. 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:59.600 And then Jazmine Brown is like who I am? 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.240 Like that, it's like I guess, oh my gosh, the 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:06.760 mom yeah, the motherly side, the woman's side, the partner side, 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:10.120 that's the actress side. 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:14.440 Yeah. So how have you felt stifled, I guess in 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:18.160 a sense, or have you felt stifled with people who 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:20.760 still crave Watch Jazzy but you feel like maybe I've 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.679 outgrown that portion of my life or I've outgrown that 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:27.480 portion of content or my talent. Do you feel stifled 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.920 in having to still curtail your content to make sure 0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:31.839 that you're including those people or do you feel like, 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:33.920 you know what, whoever's gonna come with me gonna come 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:35.960 with me. Regardless, whoever's gonna come is gonna come. 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:37.680 Because now it's like I can still do the content, 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.280 but now it's gonna be baby related. Now it's like 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:43.520 instead of me talking about dudes or whatever, can't. 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:44.040 Talk about that anymore. 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:46.479 Have a man, so it's like I'm not really I'm 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:48.520 not outside anymore, right, So now it's like, let me 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:50.400 talk about these babies and how these kids are acting, 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:52.320 you know, so that I can do more of that 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:55.360 kind of stuff. I just haven't really found that dance yet. Okay, 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.000 there's things that I think about all the time, like, oh, 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:59.480 this would be good if I would have rant about this, yes, 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:01.840 But then I haven't because I'm just like, as you know, 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.720 like having a newborn. It's like, oh, yeah, first of all, 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:06.920 you have brain fog. Because we had a moment like 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:07.640 a mug. 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.640 We both had brain fog. First of all, this is 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:12.600 contagious Okay, I thought my brain fog went because I'm 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.080 here two and a half years PILs Dakota. And then 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.720 we were talking about something and I for a second 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:18.800 we were like what were we talking about? 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:19.880 And then you were like, I don't know what we 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:21.520 were talking about. And then you were like I don't 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:22.560 even know what I was talking about. 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:24.040 And I was like, need to do it. And it 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:27.360 was like, oh, this shit is contagious. It is so constagious. 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.480 But I love that. I love that you are finding 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:32.280 new ways to I guess it kind of eventually evolve. 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:37.360 People don't know how to evolve sometimes, though, So you 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:41.560 got backlash from people who felt like Toya Turn Up 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.679 or watch Jazzy used to preach one thing through your comedy, 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:46.960 but then now she's at a different point in life, 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:49.200 and they were trying to hold you to that standard. 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:50.880 How did that make you feel in that moment? 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.360 It's crazy because it's like, dang, like I can't, I 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:54.200 can't evolve. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:56.520 Y'all want me to stay the same. It's like, y'all 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:58.480 want me to be single so bad, and you're mad 0:12:58.480 --> 0:12:59.040 because I'm not. 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:04.239 That's just sound by then y'all y'all. 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:05.720 Want me to be single so bad. 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:09.240 It's like, why can't I if everybody's out here looking 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:09.640 for love? 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.480 Why essentially I would think that most people are right. 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:16.160 Yeah, I mean it's like, okayship even though right, companionship, 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:19.840 love somebody, a warm body, whatever it is. It's like, 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:21.960 you don't necessarily want to be alone. And if you 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:24.160 keep and if you're telling yourself that, I think you're 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:27.160 lying to yourself because eventually, you know, I read something. 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:29.560 I read something the other day that was like, if 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:33.040 you if you have nobody checking for you to make 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:35.800 sure you made it home safe, nobody, nobody did wake 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:38.359 up early for and have to do anything for nobody, 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.880 nobody home or waiting for you when you get home. 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:42.920 Is that freedom or is that loneliness? Oh? I think 0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:44.679 I saw that you may have reposted that I did. 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:46.679 I did. I thought about that and you polled and 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:49.720 it was what was the result of that poll? What 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:53.319 do people think? Do you remember freedom? Freedom? People think 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:54.800 it's freedom. People think it's freedom. 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.280 But I mean there was a good amount that said 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:59.840 lonely yea, but I mean it was but freedom was was, 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:02.600 you know, had the higher vote. But it's interesting, it's 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:04.720 interesting to think about that yeah, because it's like, you 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.360 can you know, I have friends that are amazing women 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.280 that are single. And I was having a conversation with 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.600 one of my friends and he was like, he was saying, 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:17.959 he's like, Yo, my grandmother's ninety something years old and 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:19.960 she still has been on that if he ain't got 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:21.200 this and he ain't got this, he ain't got this 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:21.800 and he ain't. 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:23.400 Do one for me. And he's like, and she's nine 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:25.120 ninety and still ain't got. 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:28.760 Nobody, wow, because he better be doing this, this and 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.800 this and having X y Z and her list was rigid, 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:34.760 and her list was rigid, and it wasn't gonna budge 0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:39.400 and Granny ninety plus still talking about he need to 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:41.640 be doing this, this and that at. 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:45.800 Ninety Oh granny hard right, So it was he might 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:48.440 find granny and man, he was so he was like, 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.760 you know, there's women who are like that. So it's 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.960 not to say that like that. 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:59.960 I was not to say that I settled, but I mean, obviously, 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.440 like you know, everybody knows my man got a lot 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:06.680 of kids, right, and we just had one. So people 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:08.240 the main thing I always hear women like, oh, how 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:10.160 can you be with someone with so many kids, or 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.720 it's like, originally, like I thought I was gonna I 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:13.560 thought me and my. 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.880 Person, we were gonna be each other's first first. That's 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.600 what I thought, especially that would be ideal for you. Yeah, 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:20.920 that's what I thought was going to happen. 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:23.800 So it's like, okay, but I had an open mind 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:26.680 and then with that I met somebody amazing. So it's 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:30.520 like it's sometimes the list is so strong and you 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:31.680 not budget, but it's. 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:33.840 Like, just see what you're going. I'm not telling you 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:37.120 to settle, but baby, just see what areas you can 0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:42.160 you know, sing, So it's not necessarily settling, but however, 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:43.800 you know you have a list, right, you have this 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.040 mental note of things that you want your partner to have. 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.520 They are not going to check all the boxes, not 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:49.280 in life. 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:55.000 And listen and not at once, right, because I remember 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:57.200 I was I wrote I posted a list of like 0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:59.520 the man I wanted years ago, and somebody was like, 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:03.240 I love your list. It's great, but and I believe 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:04.720 you can find all of this, but you got to 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:05.760 give the person time to. 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:08.080 Become these become those things. Because for you to. 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:10.320 Find someone who has all of that all at wants, baby, 0:16:10.800 --> 0:16:12.280 you ain't the only one who own him. 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:16.440 That's that's my husband. Hello, that's literally my husband at eighteen. 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:18.000 Do you think he had all of the attributes that 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:19.960 I thought he was gonna have. I mean no, I 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:21.560 will say I had a little foresight, you know, I 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:23.640 knew he was gonna go to his big head and whatnot. 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:25.680 And I say he had little work ethics and ambition. 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.080 So I'm like, Okay, we can do this together. But yes, 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:30.520 you're right, as you grow, as you change, as you evolve, 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:33.480 you become a better version of yourself for that person, 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:34.600 because that's the motivation. 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.120 Yes, So it's like they're not going to have everything 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:38.920 all at once, right, but it's like how long are 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.120 you going to give them to become everything on your list? 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:44.320 That's now that's a determining factor because some people, men 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:47.080 and women, yeah, will sit and they'll wait and they'll 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:51.360 hope for change. How do you decipher then, is this 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:55.280 just who the person is? Or am I attached to 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.520 the potential of who they could be? Because I had 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:02.320 this conversation recently with someone who is no longer in 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:05.880 a relationship, and she said that she was in love 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:08.119 with the idea of who she thought this person was 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.440 going to become. And after however many years or whatever 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:14.480 they were involved, she realized, Okay, this is really who 0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:18.160 he is and I can't make him be anybody else. 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:21.520 I can't make him see his potential. So at what 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:23.760 point do you think people should just say, you know 0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:27.600 what I am in this person and in this relationship 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:33.080 for what and who they are now, not expecting any change. 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.680 That's tough, because baby, you gotta change. 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:38.520 You can't stay the same, you know, and whether you're 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:40.879 changing for me or changing for yourself, you gotta you 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:43.600 have to do something evolving. So it's like, go into it, 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:47.200 like them how they are, however they come, like them 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:48.600 like that because you have to like them like that. 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:50.840 It's cool to be like hopeful on the potential. 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.399 But if they don't change at all, do you like 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:56.480 them how exactly how they are in that moment? 0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:59.240 That's exactly what I Oh, really, and it's funny to 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:02.359 be interesting, you said, yeah, we cousins, baby, lady. 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.199 I told you it's funny because like that was me, 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:07.960 Like I was so fixated on like the potential of 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.240 the potential and then it was like, you know, we 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:11.720 had a thing and I'm like, oh, he's going to 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:12.080 be this. 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:13.960 And that and dah da da, And then when he 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:18.439 became all those things, he dropped me ooh he like 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:23.879 plot twist. Yeah, like he went and explored his horizons 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:24.440 right right. 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:26.240 You know, it was like, Okay, I've reached a certain 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:28.880