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Speaker 1: When I became a mother, there were certain things that

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Speaker 1: I was only able to experience as a mom, no

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Speaker 1: matter how much people told me, you had to be

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Speaker 1: in the thick of it. I feel so responsible these days.

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Speaker 1: Responsibility looks good on you, sis, dead assadass. Hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 2: You may know us from posting funny videos with our

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Speaker 2: voice and reading.

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Speaker 1: Each other publicly as a form of therby. Wait, I

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Speaker 1: make you need therby most days. Wow. Oh, and one

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Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 2: Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open

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Speaker 2: dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 1: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 2: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 2: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 2: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the day

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Speaker 2: we about to take Bilotov to a whole new level.

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Speaker 1: Dead ass starts right now, all right, story time. So

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Speaker 1: if you're wondering if this was planned, it wasn't. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it was planned for me to have Jazzy here with

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Speaker 1: me today. However, the whole, like Denilone situation black, the

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Speaker 1: black underlay, the black leggings totally not planned. However, according

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Speaker 1: to Triple, if both of us look three inches to

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Speaker 1: the right and two inches down our side, profiles are

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Speaker 1: giving family. And that's because we are yeah so jazzy,

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Speaker 1: and I recently found out that we are a legitimate family. Now.

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Speaker 1: First of all, finding someone who is of Jamaican and

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Speaker 1: Vincy Vincenian descent is very like, It's not common. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I usually see someone who's like Jamaican and Trinidadian,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe Vincy and Guyanese. But I've never actually

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Speaker 1: met someone right. And I think when we first met,

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Speaker 1: I had asked you if you were like Guyanese or something. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you were like, no, My my dad's from Jamaica. My

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Speaker 1: mom's from Saint I say Vincent. And I was like what,

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Speaker 1: But you know what's funny.

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Speaker 3: My whole life I thought that I was Trinny was

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Speaker 3: my mom was born in Trinidad, but she would always

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Speaker 3: say born in Trinidad by way of Saint Vincent, Like

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Speaker 3: my whole family's from Saint Vincent.

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Speaker 1: So in my mind, I'm like, aren't you where you're from, right,

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Speaker 1: I was like, where you were born? So she was

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Speaker 1: like raised in Trinidad, she was born there? Oh she

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Speaker 1: was born in Trinidad. Oh, yes, so she was born

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Speaker 1: in Trinidad, but then she came over.

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Speaker 3: Yeah because her fam is her both her parents are

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Speaker 3: from Saint Vincent. Okay, however, her dad was in Trinidad

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Speaker 3: for some business and that's where she ended up being born.

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Speaker 1: Gotcha, gotcha? Gotcha dad? Like nationality wise, I guess she's

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Speaker 1: technically Trinidad yet, right, But the whole family, the whole

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Speaker 1: bloodline is it's fency Okay, So we had to scale

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Speaker 1: it back. So I was at Jasmine's baby shower, okay,

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Speaker 1: having a grand all time, putting the rug, and then

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Speaker 1: I introduced myself to your mom and dad, which is

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Speaker 1: such a West Indian thing. Introducing yourself to everybody. Absolutely

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Speaker 1: you have to. You can't walk into a room and

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Speaker 1: not slate, especially not speak, not introduce yourself, because then

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Speaker 1: they're gonna question if you have Mana's right. So in

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Speaker 1: order to be Mana Zebel to your mom and dad,

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Speaker 1: I went over and introduced myself and they were so sweet.

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Speaker 1: If father gave me a big hug and then they

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Speaker 1: looked over and they were like Zach. And I'm like, yes, Ax,

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Speaker 1: my husband like Zach, Zach's my husband. And then I

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Speaker 1: saw your mom and I was like, oh, my goodness,

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Speaker 1: you're from Saint Vincent and she said yes. I said, oh,

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Speaker 1: my dad is from there too, and I saw her

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Speaker 1: eyes get wide and then she like literally grabbed my

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Speaker 1: arm and sat me next to her and she was like, so,

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Speaker 1: what's your last name, what's your dad's last name, what's

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Speaker 1: your family name? Do you know this person? Which part

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Speaker 1: of Saint Vincent? And that's how typical West Indians are, right.

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Speaker 1: We get together and we do the whole tracing of

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Speaker 1: the bloodline and the family tree based on last names

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Speaker 1: and which part you're from. Right. So we did all

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Speaker 1: of the tracing and everything, and I said to her,

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Speaker 1: I was like, listen, I'm gonna have to like talk

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Speaker 1: to my dad and cross reference and see what's happening.

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Speaker 1: So she said, here's my phone number. You have to

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Speaker 1: call me and text me. So fast forward. Now I'm

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Speaker 1: texting Jazzy on the side like Hey, I'm talking to

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Speaker 1: your mom. We're having this whole conversation over here, and

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Speaker 1: my dad is now going back and forth with your

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Speaker 1: mom about like who they know, what are the people

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Speaker 1: they know, what areas they're from. And there's definitely some

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Speaker 1: crossing of family there. Now we could be third or

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Speaker 1: fourth cousins, but cousins nonetheless. And you know in the Islands,

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Speaker 1: if one person is your cousin, everybody's your cousin. So

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Speaker 1: that was a fun thing to find out about Jazzy

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Speaker 1: because we've always talked about like how we have the

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Speaker 1: similar kind of mixtures. People always say that we look

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Speaker 1: alive yep, yep, exactly, So it just kind of made

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Speaker 1: sense and it was actually kind of cool to you related.

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Speaker 1: It's like, well, we are related, we are we are

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Speaker 1: so me. I'm a baby by cousin. Okay, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: sit down and we're gonna talk. The overarching topic for

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Speaker 1: this season is perception versus reality, And the biggest part

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Speaker 1: about this interview with Jazzy it's her first as a

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Speaker 1: new mom. That's so crazy, so talk about relating on

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Speaker 1: a whole nother level. We're gonna dive in and talk

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Speaker 1: about what life has been looking like for you lately,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so honored for you to have to be

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Speaker 1: sitting down with me for the first time with a

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Speaker 1: baby girl off in the wings with mom and the

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Speaker 1: boys learning how to read, learning how to read, and

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Speaker 1: probably dunk a basketball at three months. All right, karaoke time?

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Speaker 1: Did we figure out a karaokee song?

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Speaker 2: Yet?

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Speaker 1: Jazzon and I were going through like the whole gamut

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Speaker 1: of all the songs that we enjoy. One was Little Kim,

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Speaker 1: but she was a bit risk for the episode. So

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Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, we do risk a, we do risky,

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Speaker 1: we do risk a. But you're from the late nineties,

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Speaker 1: early two thousands. Good is mad songs that I could sing, son,

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Speaker 1: I could pull it, masks up. I just want to

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Speaker 1: know what your favorite could Dude? Did you have I

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Speaker 1: Know you love Me? Like cook food? Even though a

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Speaker 1: nigga got a move like a crooked move, she bars

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Speaker 1: did not sound familiar. No, what is that zy song? Cry? Oh? Yes,

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Speaker 1: the flow was a little off though the melody was off.

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Speaker 1: Do it again, Do it again?

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Speaker 3: It's because it's acapella. It's a cappella. Acapella, a cappella.

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Speaker 3: I think with the a acapella like showtime about.

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Speaker 1: The Okay, it came to mind, I'm thinking about because

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Speaker 1: there's one part that I don't know. Good dude, I

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Speaker 1: know you love me like cook food, even though a

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Speaker 1: nigga gotta move like a crooked move. We were together

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Speaker 1: on the block since free Lunch. They should have been

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Speaker 1: together having four.

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Speaker 3: Seasons, but we used to. We used to use umbrellas

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Speaker 3: to face the bad weather. Now we travel first class

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Speaker 3: to change the four never have bunches, just me and you.

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Speaker 3: I loved your point of view because you have no punches.

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Speaker 1: Bars. But you weren't a partner of it. Though we're

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Speaker 1: supposed to do it together. I know it's all right.

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Speaker 1: Though you was in your element. I let you rock.

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Speaker 1: I let you rock. I liked it, you was feeling it.

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Speaker 1: I was see. Sometimes it comes to you in the moment.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So I let you rock.

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Speaker 1: You might guessterday booth. Yeah, it's your world. I'm just

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Speaker 1: living in it right now, all right. So I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: brush up on my jay Z lyrics real quick. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna pay some bills as well. We might feed some babies,

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Speaker 1: make sure everybody's still alive and ticking, and we'll be

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Speaker 1: back with the meat of the show with Jasmine Brown.

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Speaker 1: All right, y'all, today you figured out my guests because

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Speaker 1: I gave it away. I typically like to make it

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Speaker 1: like really interesting in the beginning, but I was so

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Speaker 1: excited to have my girl, Jazzmine Brown. Y'all know her

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Speaker 1: as watch Jazzy on Instagram. A stand up comedian, a

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Speaker 1: character artist, and, as we learned recently, my cousin, but

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Speaker 1: also an actress as well. Jazzy us is comedy to

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Speaker 1: give a multi perspective view at life's ups and downs.

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Speaker 1: One of my favorite characters of her, Miss Toya turn Up,

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, an uncouth around the way girl who

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Speaker 1: says what's on her mind. And I'm sure many can

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Speaker 1: relate to. Even if y'all don't want to admit it,

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Speaker 1: I know there's a couple Toya turn Up, some real

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Speaker 1: life out there and it's all good, all good, no

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Speaker 1: judgment zone at all. Welcome Jazzy to the show, y'all.

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Speaker 1: What's up, girl? What's up? That was a good intro?

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Speaker 1: Thank you. You know it's funny we always have the

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Speaker 1: intro here. But what I like to do is for

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Speaker 1: my guest, you being like the second or third. So

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Speaker 1: this is something I'm starting, but I want you to

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Speaker 1: tell me who's Jazzy, who's Jazmine Brown? And is there

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Speaker 1: a difference?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you know what it's the question is who's

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Speaker 3: watched Jazzy, who's Jazzy and who's Jazzmin Brown?

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Speaker 1: Okay, because watch Jazzy man that whole And.

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Speaker 3: It's funny because it's like I don't want to say

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Speaker 3: it's a character, because that's really my personality. Like how

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Speaker 3: I started, like in the car doing my rant, saying whatever,

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Speaker 3: and like those clips were going viral like that was

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Speaker 3: watched Jazzy. So it was like a girl that you

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Speaker 3: would watch my name is Jazzy and just keep watching me.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: But then it got like when I started to grow

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Speaker 3: up and mature, and but my audience not everybody would

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Speaker 3: come with me, so I found myself having to still

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Speaker 3: do the same stuff.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: So that's when I felt like, Okay, now it's it's

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Speaker 3: because I'm more of a character now because I can't

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Speaker 3: grow out of it.

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Speaker 1: I mean I can, but the people want this. So

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Speaker 1: you were trying to evolve from watch but she got stuck.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I noticed that like people want like if

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Speaker 3: they relate to you in one way, they want to

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Speaker 3: they want you to stay that way. And then there's

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Speaker 3: some people who will grow with you, like they have

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Speaker 3: kids too, Like a lot of other influences shout out

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Speaker 3: to La La Milan, like she just had a baby

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Speaker 3: as well, Candice and Omar had a baby, so like

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Speaker 3: they go from being like influencers and now their parents.

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Speaker 3: So now like we now all of us can relate

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Speaker 3: to each other. Now, yes, but like my content back

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Speaker 3: in the day of like you know, niggas ain't shit

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Speaker 3: and just what is somebody's supposed to be doing this

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Speaker 3: and this and this for you.

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Speaker 1: It's just it's just different now. But people want me there, right,

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Speaker 1: They want to hold you to that. They want to

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Speaker 1: hold me there.

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Speaker 3: So now it's like someone told me, they were like, oh, ever,

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Speaker 3: since you got a man, you think you a.

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Speaker 1: Profit, you're a prophet, Like that's not what I think.

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Speaker 1: That's not what you think. That that's what you believe, right,

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Speaker 1: but like versus reality exactly.

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Speaker 3: So that's when I realized I had to try to

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Speaker 3: just keep that thing the thing because it was selling,

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Speaker 3: you know, like doing my comedy, doing my shows, like

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Speaker 3: even like Toya turn Up, that character was created way before,

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Speaker 3: like the Suki Hannas and Sexy Reds and city girls

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Speaker 3: like that was like, you know.

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Speaker 1: You were the original but O g Like we said, yeah.

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Speaker 3: So now it's like if I if that character, if

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Speaker 3: I were to keep going, like it's right on brand

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Speaker 3: now because that's kind of how like a lot of

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Speaker 3: the culture, like it has gone in that kind of direction.

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Speaker 3: But I've even had to take a break on her

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Speaker 3: so I could just focus on Okay, who am I?

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Speaker 1: Like? What am I doing? Right? So we're talking about

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Speaker 1: jazz now. We talked about Watch Jazzy, Jazzy Jazz.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Jazzy is that's like my family Jazz Jazzy. You know,

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Speaker 3: at home, I'm Auntie Jazzy, you know, so that's like

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Speaker 3: my home name, you know, Jazzy Watch Jazzy, Yes, my

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Speaker 3: home name.

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Speaker 1: And then Jazmine Brown is like who I am?

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Speaker 3: Like that, it's like I guess, oh my gosh, the

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Speaker 3: mom yeah, the motherly side, the woman's side, the partner side,

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Speaker 3: that's the actress side.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So how have you felt stifled, I guess in

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Speaker 1: a sense, or have you felt stifled with people who

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Speaker 1: still crave Watch Jazzy but you feel like maybe I've

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Speaker 1: outgrown that portion of my life or I've outgrown that

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Speaker 1: portion of content or my talent. Do you feel stifled

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Speaker 1: in having to still curtail your content to make sure

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Speaker 1: that you're including those people or do you feel like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, whoever's gonna come with me gonna come

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Speaker 1: with me. Regardless, whoever's gonna come is gonna come.

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Speaker 3: Because now it's like I can still do the content,

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Speaker 3: but now it's gonna be baby related. Now it's like

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Speaker 3: instead of me talking about dudes or whatever, can't.

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Speaker 1: Talk about that anymore.

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Speaker 3: Have a man, so it's like I'm not really I'm

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Speaker 3: not outside anymore, right, So now it's like, let me

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Speaker 3: talk about these babies and how these kids are acting,

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Speaker 3: you know, so that I can do more of that

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Speaker 3: kind of stuff. I just haven't really found that dance yet. Okay,

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Speaker 3: there's things that I think about all the time, like, oh,

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Speaker 3: this would be good if I would have rant about this, yes,

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Speaker 3: But then I haven't because I'm just like, as you know,

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Speaker 3: like having a newborn. It's like, oh, yeah, first of all,

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Speaker 3: you have brain fog. Because we had a moment like

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Speaker 3: a mug.

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Speaker 1: We both had brain fog. First of all, this is

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Speaker 1: contagious Okay, I thought my brain fog went because I'm

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Speaker 1: here two and a half years PILs Dakota. And then

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Speaker 1: we were talking about something and I for a second

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Speaker 1: we were like what were we talking about?

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Speaker 3: And then you were like, I don't know what we

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Speaker 3: were talking about. And then you were like I don't

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Speaker 3: even know what I was talking about.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, need to do it. And it

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, this shit is contagious. It is so constagious.

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Speaker 1: But I love that. I love that you are finding

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Speaker 1: new ways to I guess it kind of eventually evolve.

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Speaker 1: People don't know how to evolve sometimes, though, So you

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Speaker 1: got backlash from people who felt like Toya Turn Up

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Speaker 1: or watch Jazzy used to preach one thing through your comedy,

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Speaker 1: but then now she's at a different point in life,

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Speaker 1: and they were trying to hold you to that standard.

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Speaker 1: How did that make you feel in that moment?

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Speaker 3: It's crazy because it's like, dang, like I can't, I

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Speaker 3: can't evolve.

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Speaker 1: Y'all want me to stay the same. It's like, y'all

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Speaker 1: want me to be single so bad, and you're mad

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Speaker 1: because I'm not.

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Speaker 3: That's just sound by then y'all y'all.

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Speaker 1: Want me to be single so bad.

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Speaker 3: It's like, why can't I if everybody's out here looking

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Speaker 3: for love?

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Speaker 1: Why essentially I would think that most people are right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's like, okayship even though right, companionship,

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Speaker 3: love somebody, a warm body, whatever it is. It's like,

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Speaker 3: you don't necessarily want to be alone. And if you

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Speaker 3: keep and if you're telling yourself that, I think you're

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Speaker 3: lying to yourself because eventually, you know, I read something.

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Speaker 3: I read something the other day that was like, if

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Speaker 3: you if you have nobody checking for you to make

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Speaker 3: sure you made it home safe, nobody, nobody did wake

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Speaker 3: up early for and have to do anything for nobody,

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Speaker 3: nobody home or waiting for you when you get home.

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Speaker 1: Is that freedom or is that loneliness? Oh? I think

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Speaker 1: I saw that you may have reposted that I did.

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Speaker 1: I did. I thought about that and you polled and

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Speaker 1: it was what was the result of that poll? What

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Speaker 1: do people think? Do you remember freedom? Freedom? People think

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Speaker 1: it's freedom. People think it's freedom.

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Speaker 3: But I mean there was a good amount that said

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Speaker 3: lonely yea, but I mean it was but freedom was was,

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Speaker 3: you know, had the higher vote. But it's interesting, it's

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Speaker 3: interesting to think about that yeah, because it's like, you

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Speaker 3: can you know, I have friends that are amazing women

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Speaker 3: that are single. And I was having a conversation with

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Speaker 3: one of my friends and he was like, he was saying,

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Speaker 3: he's like, Yo, my grandmother's ninety something years old and

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Speaker 3: she still has been on that if he ain't got

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Speaker 3: this and he ain't got this, he ain't got this

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Speaker 3: and he ain't.

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Speaker 1: Do one for me. And he's like, and she's nine

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Speaker 1: ninety and still ain't got.

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Speaker 3: Nobody, wow, because he better be doing this, this and

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Speaker 3: this and having X y Z and her list was rigid,

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Speaker 3: and her list was rigid, and it wasn't gonna budge

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Speaker 3: and Granny ninety plus still talking about he need to

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Speaker 3: be doing this, this and that at.

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Speaker 1: Ninety Oh granny hard right, So it was he might

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Speaker 1: find granny and man, he was so he was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's women who are like that. So it's

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Speaker 1: not to say that like that.

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Speaker 3: I was not to say that I settled, but I mean, obviously,

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Speaker 3: like you know, everybody knows my man got a lot

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Speaker 3: of kids, right, and we just had one. So people

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Speaker 3: the main thing I always hear women like, oh, how

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Speaker 3: can you be with someone with so many kids, or

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Speaker 3: it's like, originally, like I thought I was gonna I

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Speaker 3: thought me and my.

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Speaker 1: Person, we were gonna be each other's first first. That's

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Speaker 1: what I thought, especially that would be ideal for you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what I thought was going to happen.

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Speaker 3: So it's like, okay, but I had an open mind

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Speaker 3: and then with that I met somebody amazing. So it's

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Speaker 3: like it's sometimes the list is so strong and you

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Speaker 3: not budget, but it's.

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Speaker 1: Like, just see what you're going. I'm not telling you

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Speaker 1: to settle, but baby, just see what areas you can

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Speaker 1: you know, sing, So it's not necessarily settling, but however,

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Speaker 1: you know you have a list, right, you have this

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Speaker 1: mental note of things that you want your partner to have.

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Speaker 1: They are not going to check all the boxes, not

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Speaker 1: in life.

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Speaker 3: And listen and not at once, right, because I remember

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Speaker 3: I was I wrote I posted a list of like

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Speaker 3: the man I wanted years ago, and somebody was like,

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Speaker 3: I love your list. It's great, but and I believe

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Speaker 3: you can find all of this, but you got to

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Speaker 3: give the person time to.

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Speaker 1: Become these become those things. Because for you to.

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Speaker 3: Find someone who has all of that all at wants, baby,

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Speaker 3: you ain't the only one who own him.

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Speaker 1: That's that's my husband. Hello, that's literally my husband at eighteen.

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Speaker 1: Do you think he had all of the attributes that

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Speaker 1: I thought he was gonna have. I mean no, I

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Speaker 1: will say I had a little foresight, you know, I

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Speaker 1: knew he was gonna go to his big head and whatnot.

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Speaker 1: And I say he had little work ethics and ambition.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, Okay, we can do this together. But yes,

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Speaker 1: you're right, as you grow, as you change, as you evolve,

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Speaker 1: you become a better version of yourself for that person,

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Speaker 1: because that's the motivation.

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Speaker 3: Yes, So it's like they're not going to have everything

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Speaker 3: all at once, right, but it's like how long are

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Speaker 3: you going to give them to become everything on your list?

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Speaker 1: That's now that's a determining factor because some people, men

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Speaker 1: and women, yeah, will sit and they'll wait and they'll

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Speaker 1: hope for change. How do you decipher then, is this

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Speaker 1: just who the person is? Or am I attached to

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Speaker 1: the potential of who they could be? Because I had

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Speaker 1: this conversation recently with someone who is no longer in

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Speaker 1: a relationship, and she said that she was in love

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Speaker 1: with the idea of who she thought this person was

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Speaker 1: going to become. And after however many years or whatever

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Speaker 1: they were involved, she realized, Okay, this is really who

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Speaker 1: he is and I can't make him be anybody else.

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Speaker 1: I can't make him see his potential. So at what

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Speaker 1: point do you think people should just say, you know

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Speaker 1: what I am in this person and in this relationship

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Speaker 1: for what and who they are now, not expecting any change.

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Speaker 1: That's tough, because baby, you gotta change.

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Speaker 3: You can't stay the same, you know, and whether you're

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Speaker 3: changing for me or changing for yourself, you gotta you

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Speaker 3: have to do something evolving. So it's like, go into it,

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Speaker 3: like them how they are, however they come, like them

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Speaker 3: like that because you have to like them like that.

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Speaker 1: It's cool to be like hopeful on the potential.

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Speaker 3: But if they don't change at all, do you like

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Speaker 3: them how exactly how they are in that moment?

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Speaker 1: That's exactly what I Oh, really, and it's funny to

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Speaker 1: be interesting, you said, yeah, we cousins, baby, lady.

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Speaker 3: I told you it's funny because like that was me,

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Speaker 3: Like I was so fixated on like the potential of

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Speaker 3: the potential and then it was like, you know, we

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Speaker 3: had a thing and I'm like, oh, he's going to

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Speaker 3: be this.

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Speaker 1: And that and dah da da, And then when he

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Speaker 1: became all those things, he dropped me ooh he like

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Speaker 1: plot twist. Yeah, like he went and explored his horizons

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Speaker 1: right right.

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Speaker 3: You know, it was like, Okay, I've reached a certain

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Speaker 3: level of success right now, I want to see.

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Speaker 1: What if the grass is green? Are over there? You know.

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Speaker 3: And we weren't like officially like boyfriend and girlfriend, but

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Speaker 3: we were like we knew each other.

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Speaker 1: Fel together, yeah, kind of doing life together simultaneously, yeah,

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Speaker 1: seeing how it would go. Right. So I guess the

407
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Speaker 1: way you protect yourself in a moment like that is saying, okay,

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Speaker 1: we're doing life together. We're seeing we're of support to

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Speaker 1: each other, but not being fully bought in until you

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Speaker 1: know what the potential outcome may be, or seeing how

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Speaker 1: things are going, kind of feeling it out and not

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Speaker 1: being exclusive.

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Speaker 3: But then there's people who will wait around to see if,

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Speaker 3: like how that future looking, and then they try to

415
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Speaker 3: lock in on you real quick, like oh girl, he

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Speaker 3: just real he just got this contract. Let me try

417
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Speaker 3: to lock him down. Yeah yeah, And then there's that

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Speaker 3: right again, back to what we both said. You gotta

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Speaker 3: like the person food.

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Speaker 1: Oh they are right who they are right then and there,

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Speaker 1: I find to change gears a little bit. I believe that,

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Speaker 1: and I spoke about this. I think with b on

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Speaker 1: our episode that people can't use against you what you

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Speaker 1: already put out there. So if you're transparent, if you're honest,

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Speaker 1: if you're living in your truth, you know they'll try.

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Speaker 1: They'll try, but it won't hit the same. I was

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Speaker 1: just gonna say that it's not gonna hit the same.

428
00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 1: So for you, going on your last tour while you

429
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 1: were pregnant as the third Baby Mama, I think that

430
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 1: was so clever of you to come up with that title.

431
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,399
Speaker 1: How did you arrive at that title and were you

432
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 1: essentially playing yes, making just of the situation that you

433
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:53,199
Speaker 1: were in, knowing that people were going to joke on

434
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 1: you about it.

435
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 3: It's so funny that you say that, because I remember

436
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,040
Speaker 3: being pregnant and I had other friends who were and

437
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 3: at the same time as me.

438
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 1: Talking about like, oh my gosh, my baby's doing this.

439
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 3: I feel my baby kicking, I feel my baby doing this,

440
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm like, I was probably like

441
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,199
Speaker 3: seven months and I was like, I'm not feeling like

442
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 3: I don't feel no kicks. I'm like, should I feel

443
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 3: anything by now, like at least like something. I felt,

444
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 3: well maybe not, maybe around like the five six mark.

445
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: But I wasn't.

446
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 2: You know.

447
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,399
Speaker 3: Everyone's like, it's so beautiful you feel these movement and

448
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 3: it's like I'll go to the doctor and they'll say

449
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 3: the baby's healthy and all the things. But I'm like,

450
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 3: I'm not feeling movement like that. And then I realized

451
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 3: that there was too much noise around me. I had

452
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 3: to get in a quiet place. I left town, I

453
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 3: went away. I went to Florida. I went to Cocoa Beach, Florida,

454
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 3: and I stayed there for three days. And I just

455
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 3: wanted to have like solitude and silence and just just.

456
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 1: Lock in on my baby.

457
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 3: So every day I would get up and I'll be like,

458
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 3: we're gonna go have breakfast, We're going to this, We

459
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 3: went to church, we did all the things. We would

460
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,239
Speaker 3: go on like dates, and I would act as if

461
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 3: like my child was with me. And then so you

462
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 3: were like verbally speaking to herbally speaking.

463
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was, yes, because.

464
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I remember I bought a book and I

465
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 3: was just reading. I was reading the chapter a day,

466
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 3: and I remember like as soon as I finished reading

467
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 3: one chapter and I closed the book, and I'm like,

468
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 3: well that's it. I mean kicking like wait, like what

469
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 3: happens next kind of thing, and I remember breaking down

470
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 3: crying like oh my gosh, like this is so crazy.

471
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 3: So the next day I was like I was contemplating

472
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,119
Speaker 3: on going to the beach and I was like, oh

473
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 3: my gosh, like me being in a bathing suit with

474
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 3: this big, old pregnant stomach, Like I don't know how

475
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 3: I feel about it, Like what are people going to

476
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 3: think about me? You know what, I'm here by myself.

477
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,159
Speaker 3: I look like a single person with its like you know,

478
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,200
Speaker 3: I mean, I just I just started to feel like

479
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 3: people were just gonna judge, right, And then I was

480
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 3: saying like I started thinking about how I would see

481
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,199
Speaker 3: because you know, once you become pregnant, like your algorithm

482
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 3: on social everything is pregnant.

483
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,680
Speaker 1: And I remember just like looking at my.

484
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: Timeline and seeing all these beautiful pregnant women who don't

485
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 3: have no acne or bacnie or heartburn or none of

486
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 3: the things. And I remember looking at them like, yo,

487
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 3: this isn't real, Like your armpiss ain't black, Like what

488
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:05,239
Speaker 3: is going like?

489
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like I' still recovering chill.

490
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,719
Speaker 3: My armists was so dark and I'm just and I

491
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 3: remember just being in there just venting to myself like, Yo,

492
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 3: this isn't real, Like you guys aren't keeping it real,

493
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 3: you know. And then like I go on the bathroom

494
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 3: if I throw my phone down, I go in the

495
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 3: bathroom and I'm like just looking in the mirror, like

496
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,359
Speaker 3: fixing my ponytail or something, and I promise you I

497
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 3: heard a voice that said, go on tour. I was like, God,

498
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 3: I know you ain't talking to me. And I was like,

499
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 3: and I'm talking out loud like this, I go on tour?

500
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 3: I said, and do what and say what?

501
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 1: Right?

502
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 2: How?

503
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 1: Oh I'm the third one. He got all these kids,

504
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 1: and I'm this and that what I'm gonna call it? God?

505
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 3: And he said yep, uh baby mama, number three third

506
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 3: times a charm And then I was like, oh wow.

507
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 1: I was like that's it. So this is in turn

508
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 1: you taking, for example, do not toy your turn at

509
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 1: per se, but using the content and the following and

510
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 1: the comedic aspect of it, and then now making your

511
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 1: own based on your current situation.

512
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 3: Yes, And I was just like, you know, and I

513
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 3: called my agent and I was like, how do you

514
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 3: feel about this idea?

515
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 1: She's like jazz that is brilliant. And I was like,

516
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 1: because I.

517
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 3: Already know what they're gonna say about me, right, but

518
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 3: if I can beat them to it and say it first, right,

519
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 3: you ain't got nothing on me. Right, You're gonna say

520
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,120
Speaker 3: I'm the third one, okay. And I said that already

521
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 3: you're gonna say this a sixth child, okay. And I

522
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 3: said that already, right, you're gonna say all You're gonna

523
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 3: say all all the things. Right, You're gonna say, oh.

524
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 1: You did all that shit for a nigga who ain't

525
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: even put a ring on it. I said, oh, I

526
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: said that in my stand up, you know what I mean? Right,

527
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: Like I opened up like that. Right. So that was brilliant,

528
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: I think because when they went dival, so we were

529
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 1: just like, it makes total sense. And this is so

530
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: on brand for Jazzy, like thinking about what's gonna be

531
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 1: the next thing to do, what's the next way, What's

532
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 1: how can I now personalize this experience experience, I.

533
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 3: Said, just the sweetening even more. I was like I'm

534
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 3: not gonna post a picture of my you know, people

535
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 3: post a little stomach like I'm expecting, right, I was like,

536
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 3: my pregnancy photo gonna be my flyer when they so

537
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 3: when they share it, they're promoting my show. That's the

538
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 3: only photo you have of me with my with my

539
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 3: bump out right, It's got my tour dates on it.

540
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 1: Crazy, So when you share it, m hm, do you

541
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 1: know where it was going to go. It was gonna

542
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,360
Speaker 1: be in all the group chats and the shade room, Yeah,

543
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 1: the sites and everything. I mean, they found a way

544
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: to just take my photo and just I'm sure you know,

545
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: as they tend to do as they tend to do.

546
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: So how much of that for you, if we think

547
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 1: about perception and reality, how much of that for you was?

548
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: I guess from a mental standpoint, was it you guarding

549
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 1: yourself to say, you know what, I know people are

550
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 1: going to say this all ready, so let me say

551
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 1: it first. Or do you just genuinely don't care what

552
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: people have to say at this point, you know? Or

553
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 1: are you in your you know, being on the social

554
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: media front, being in the public eye. Your partner is

555
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: someone who's in the public eye as well, So at

556
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 1: what point do you say, you know what, I don't

557
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: care anymore, or do you still care? You know what's interesting?

558
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 3: Like when I found out, I was ignant, completely caught

559
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 3: me by surprise.

560
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,720
Speaker 1: I felt a lot of shame. M M. I felt

561
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: a lot of shame. What was the shame? Was it

562
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 1: out of wedlock? Shame? Was it who you're pregnant for?

563
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: What your family would think? What was the all of it?

564
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: All of it?

565
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 3: All of it wasn't necessarily him, Well maybe it was.

566
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 3: It was a little bit of everything. It was like

567
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 3: I waited till I was probably about five months to

568
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 3: even tell my mom. Wow, yeah, because I was like

569
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 3: I knew how they you know, we know that was

570
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 3: Syndian's standard. Yeah, you know about you know, being married

571
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 3: out of way, I mean, pregnant, out of wed locke

572
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 3: all that, so you know all the things.

573
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 1: How are we going to tell the family?

574
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 2: Yeah?

575
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: So I wait, I waited. It's that crazy as adults

576
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,639
Speaker 1: were still like so concerned about what are so I

577
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 1: just think because I remember, like I will always say

578
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: like I don't want to be nobody's baby mom, Like

579
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a baby Like, no, I

580
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 1: don't want to be a baby gave. I don't.

581
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 3: And it's so funny because I will always say that

582
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 3: even before I got pregnant, before like and it wasn't

583
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 3: even that we were even trying, like I like he

584
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 3: knew how I felt about that, like I don't, like

585
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 3: I have no interest in being that.

586
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: And then it was like, here we are.

587
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Here we are, And it's

588
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 3: just so crazy because like I just never thought and

589
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 3: not to say that I'm just too good, but it's

590
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 3: like I just never I just never thought.

591
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 1: That's not something you saw for yourself. Yeah, and that's okay.

592
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, So it was so then it was also one

593
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,199
Speaker 3: of those things like yeah, bitch, like you thought you

594
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 3: was so much better than us, and here you are.

595
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 1: You just like you just like me. Baby mama, shit,

596
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: baby mama, shit. But I think you also, I think

597
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: it wanted. I don't remember if it was in a

598
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,920
Speaker 1: video or a story like or what you're it's your

599
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: rebuttal to it was, yeah I am, but the situation

600
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: that I'm in is different. It's different. Yeah. So then

601
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: that was the thing.

602
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 3: It was like, Okay, I gotta just I gotta just

603
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 3: get in front of it.

604
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,239
Speaker 1: Part of your show. Yeah, yes, yeah, I gotta get

605
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 1: in front of it.

606
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 3: And then you know, at the end of the day,

607
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: it's like because people are like there's tears to it.

608
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 3: It's like, okay, you're his baby mother because you guys

609
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 3: aren't married. But then it's like, you guys are in

610
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 3: a relationship. So are you Are you just that? Are

611
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 3: you his partner? And are you the mother of his child?

612
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? So it's a layered relationship.

613
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: It's not just a third baby mother. Yeah, it's like

614
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: we are in a relationship together. We are doing life together,

615
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 1: we are raising a family together, we are doing all

616
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: the things together. So it's like I am I like

617
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: to look at myself or we call each other life partner,

618
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it's more like a

619
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,359
Speaker 1: partnership than just like a baby mother to no, for sure.

620
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 1: And you are promoting healthy, blended families, and there are

621
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: a lot of healthy blended families out there and a

622
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: lot that are not so healthy. So how do you

623
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 1: make it a point to make that a priority for

624
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: your family with your life partner and you're now bonus children. Yeah,

625
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 1: it was always a priority, it was always a prime.

626
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 1: So there wasn't a shift when you became a mother.

627
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 3: No, I just knew that I was going to need

628
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 3: time to get myself together because out the gate, I

629
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 3: was just doing a lot and I know, and I

630
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 3: created a standard that I knew that I wasn't going

631
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 3: to be able to pulled once I had my own child,

632
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 3: because one, I need to lay down somewhere, I need

633
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 3: to just be with the baby, so I can't be

634
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 3: as hands on as right I was prior to my child,

635
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 3: you know. And it's funny because I remember, I don't

636
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 3: know if you you have to remember when that video

637
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 3: came out of like the whole I went viral for

638
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,439
Speaker 3: saying I was a submissive woman, right, and all the

639
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,400
Speaker 3: things that I do for my man and all those things, yes,

640
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 3: And people were coming at me saying like, oh, that's

641
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 3: because you ain't got no kids, and wait till kids

642
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 3: are involved. And the funny thing was it was like

643
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 3: I was doing all of that with like it's just

644
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 3: that we don't really talk about my role in the

645
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 3: children's lives, right, But it was just like, you guys

646
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 3: are so stupid. You think that like I'm not doing

647
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 3: this already, Like you think that I can't do. I

648
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 3: can't take care of the man and take care of

649
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 3: the kids and take care of the house.

650
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: You just don't see it, you know what I mean.

651
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 3: And then, like I said, I have a baby now

652
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 3: and obviously like I'm still.

653
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,239
Speaker 1: A bonus mom. The pancakes are still getting flipped and

654
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: they never stopped flipping.

655
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 3: So everybody who thought that because I'm scratching my man's

656
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 3: back to sleep, But I'm not gonna have time to

657
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 3: flip flapjacks the pancakes and breastfeeds and breastfeed and clean

658
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 3: and study my lines and work and be a super

659
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 3: mom and do all the things.

660
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: Pancakes still flipping. Well, shit, I'm coming over the banana too.

661
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 1: Oh fancy from scratch from scratch scratch house. I love

662
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 1: that for you. That is great, that's great, and I

663
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: think it's a thing where what I appreciate about you, Jazzy,

664
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: is that you're not This is not a facade for you,

665
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 1: It's not a this is your real life.

666
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 3: And what I noticed, Kadeen, and I have to say

667
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 3: this before before I forget, it's people put their fear

668
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 3: on you of what they're unwilling to do, so instead

669
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 3: of you saying so instead of you being like, oh,

670
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 3: I'll never be the one getting up in the morning

671
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 3: making pancakes and doing all the things and going to

672
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 3: the jumpy house and taking them to do whatever it is.

673
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: You won't do that. So you are extection. So you

674
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: assume that I'm not doing it. My baby is being

675
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: done right and doing it gladly, gladly. So it's not

676
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: even a thing where you're over here like I gotta

677
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: do this. No, it's innate in you.

678
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 3: To that person, it's like the nurtur Yes, so we

679
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 3: have this thing that say like I don't have to

680
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 3: do this.

681
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 1: I get to do this. I want to do this,

682
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: I want to do this.

683
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 3: I get the opportunity to do this, you know, like

684
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 3: I have the opportunity to be an amazing mother figure

685
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 3: in these children's lives.

686
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: Like yeah, who you know what I mean? I mean.

687
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 3: And then there's people who just don't want no parts

688
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 3: of that at all, who see somebody with a lot

689
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 3: of kids and run and run right.

690
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 1: But it's just like you have the opportunity.

691
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know my intentions are good, and I know

692
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 3: I know how I was raised, and I you know,

693
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 3: it's like it's beautiful to be able to have that

694
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 3: opportunity to do that. But some people just they see

695
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 3: somebody with so many kids and they just run, They

696
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:46,959
Speaker 3: run from the idea of it.

697
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that for you, Jazzy. I love that

698
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: because nothing about our conversations. I've called you a lot

699
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: of times to check up on you, just to make

700
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 1: sure that you were good, just being a new mom

701
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: now having your own baby, just to make sure that

702
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: your mental good and that you're you're you know, not

703
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: offering unwanted advice, but just making sure that you're okay.

704
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: Because as the first time mom, I'm sure you get

705
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: it from all different angles. Yeah, but I want it

706
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: from you because you're like the girl. Yeah, I got

707
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: mad kids as you saw as you saw as a

708
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: new shirt now right, no shirt. So this is like

709
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 1: boy House through and through. So now that you're a

710
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 1: new mom, transitioning from bonus mom, it's different. It's different

711
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: having your own So what has been the most rewarding

712
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: thing for you now having a baby girl? And what's

713
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: been the most challenging for you? I never thought I

714
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: would have a daughter. I was like, really, Lord, because

715
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 1: at first people are you really don't want to know

716
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: what it is.

717
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 3: And I was like, honestly, I just whatever guy's gonna

718
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 3: give me is what I is what I need.

719
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: And then I saw I was a girl.

720
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 3: It's so funny because as soon as she was born,

721
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 3: the doctor like put her vagina to my face.

722
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 1: She was like, it's a girl, and I was like

723
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 1: what we kind of.

724
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 3: Had an idea though, like people kept saying like, oh,

725
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 3: it's a girl, it's a girl. Right then I was

726
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: like I felt girl energy. But then I was like, yo,

727
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 3: this mam make nothing but sons. So you were just

728
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 3: like I was like, I don't know, I don't know.

729
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 3: But then when she came out, I was like, wow,

730
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 3: I mean it's just honestly, I'm such a lover and

731
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 3: I feel like it was the love that completed me

732
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 3: because I've always been like I feel like I'm always

733
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 3: the one that loves the other person more.

734
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 1: You know What's funny. My grandmother used to say that

735
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 1: she was like, this is my vincy side. Someone who

736
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: loves you? Is that a thing that she was just like,

737
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: if it's not about who love you, I mean, it's

738
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: not about who you love, it's about who love you.

739
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: She used to always say that like your partner should

740
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: love you a little bit more than you. Yes, that's

741
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: what my mom love you more.

742
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 3: I know, I know. I tell him all the time.

743
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 3: I'm like, I definitely love you more inship.

744
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 1: That's crazy.

745
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 3: He's like, he's like, no, he'd be like, you don't

746
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 3: know that. And I'm like, tells me the same thing.

747
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: He was, I definitely love you, Ma, I said, no,

748
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 1: you may be physically more of the like touchy feely

749
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: affectionate person, but that doesn't equate to love anymore, you know.

750
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 1: And he's like, I never thought of me like that.

751
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, exactly. I'm like, people love differently, so

752
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: having a daughter something I cannot relate to. However, Oh wow.

753
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 1: When we were talking kind of pre show, you talked

754
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: a little bit or touch a little bit about like, damn,

755
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: like having a daughter now, how transparent do you plan

756
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 1: to be with her? And are there any worries or

757
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: concerns you have raising a daughter based off of the

758
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: way you lived your life?

759
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 3: Well, basically what I said to you earlier was like, yo,

760
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 3: I hope she wasn't. She's not gonna be a whole

761
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 3: like I was, but you know what, she's not though,

762
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 3: because I had dad.

763
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: I had daddy issues, did you I did? Is it

764
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: like he was spoken about before having daddy issues, but

765
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 1: your dad not present, because I feel like I seen

766
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 1: him my dad.

767
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 3: My dad was very present. However, you said there's different

768
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 3: ways you can love something. Yes, we had different love languages,

769
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 3: so I didn't. I took his love as not caring.

770
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 3: His love was you have a car, you got a

771
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 3: roof over your head, you got all I don't need this.

772
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 3: I don't need to tell you. Look at the car

773
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 3: you're driving, and you got full tank of gas and

774
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 3: your oils chain.

775
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: Yes, all the things.

776
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 3: Matter of fact, you have a that I worked hard

777
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 3: to get you. Yes, But it was like you didn't

778
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 3: say it. Yeah, he didn't give me a hug after right,

779
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 3: So for me, it was just like, oh, like I

780
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:13,720
Speaker 3: wanted that, so I guess yeah. So in my mind,

781
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's like, did I create those issues on

782
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 3: my own? Like did I make up having daddy issues?

783
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: Because I was just I just didn't understand you didn't

784
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: understand their way of loving.

785
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 3: Yes, So later on in life, I just I realized like,

786
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, like man, this whole time, I was

787
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 3: just telling people like man, daddy issues and my dad this,

788
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 3: this and that, when really my dad was an amazing provider.

789
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: That's interesting. So it's interesting to hear because so many

790
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: times you do hear about like the absentee father and

791
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: then people having issues because of that. But your father

792
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 1: was very presented and everything, but he didn't love in

793
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: your language. Yes, So it made you still feel like

794
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: a void or a deaficity, and that forced you to

795
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,399
Speaker 1: look for love in places that you probably shouldn't have been. Right.

796
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 3: But I'm driving in a car that he worked hard

797
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 3: for to get to where I'm going.

798
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:01,399
Speaker 1: I'm driving in my new car.

799
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 3: You driving a right, right, right in a car that

800
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 3: your father bought, but but you don't love but he.

801
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: Don't love you. Wow, It's it's a cultural thing too.

802
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,800
Speaker 1: It definitely is a cultural thing because I look at

803
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 1: my parents and stuff and my mom and dad and

804
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 1: you know, now, Deval and I have our moments where

805
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 1: we sit through the podcast and we talk about like,

806
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,919
Speaker 1: you know, our parents didn't do this, and they didn't

807
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: do that, and you know if they did this differently,

808
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 1: and they're like, man, we we sometimes put our parents

809
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 1: through the ringer when it's like damn, they really raised

810
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,359
Speaker 1: some amazing parents and they did the best that they

811
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: could with what they knew. And to this day, my

812
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: mom to this day will be like, oh, Deval, like

813
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 1: I made you brown stewfish and stuff I knew you

814
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: were coming home, or oh, your closet was a little

815
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 1: bit in disarray, so I organized it for you. That's

816
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 1: her way of showing love. Yeah, she's not going to necessarily,

817
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:49,919
Speaker 1: you know, throw her arms around your neck and hug

818
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 1: you and kiss you all day or say I love you.

819
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 1: But it's through acts of service. I guess. I think

820
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: our families, our background is very much like acts of

821
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 1: service to show their love. But my mom was very like,

822
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hug you on and kiss you. I'm gonna

823
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: do all that.

824
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 3: She would wake us up in the morning by kissing

825
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 3: our feet. Really yeah, so like what a difference.

826
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 1: What a difference.

827
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 3: So it's like I feel like raising a daughter, you

828
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 3: gotta be honest, you know, and and I know that

829
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 3: like coming up in this day and age, like she

830
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 3: could she can watch some of my old videos. She

831
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 3: could see some of my perspectives on how I used

832
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 3: to feel about things, or some of my old stand

833
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 3: up clips or whatever, And I don't want to lie

834
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:27,760
Speaker 3: to her like I want.

835
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: To you want to explain that to her?

836
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I want us to have the kind of

837
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,280
Speaker 3: like I don't want to like we're not gonna be friends,

838
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 3: right because you.

839
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,359
Speaker 1: Know, make it very clear with our friends. Me and

840
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: you're not size used to say, or she would be

841
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 1: like two women can live in the same house. So

842
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 1: if you think your oh man, leave, get told you

843
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 1: find your own house. I'm like, first of all, you

844
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: never sounded more Jamaican than when you tell me to

845
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,800
Speaker 1: leave the house because we not the same size. Sis,

846
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,280
Speaker 1: I ain't trying to be your size. I'm just saying

847
00:36:57,239 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 1: it always reaches that point thinking that mother daughter relationship

848
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,879
Speaker 1: ship where it's just like, you know, mama knows best

849
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:09,839
Speaker 1: I can foresee, you know that roadblocks obstacle. Yeah.

850
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, But like cam is extremely honest and you know,

851
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 3: and very transparent. But he I always tell him, I'm like, honey,

852
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 3: not vinegar. You know, he's vinegar all day.

853
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 1: Vinegar me.

854
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 3: I'm like, I try to just soften the blow a

855
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 3: little bit, but he's just like, no, like they need

856
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:27,919
Speaker 3: to know.

857
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 1: This is how it is, this is how it is.

858
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 3: He also has a lot of sons though, so I

859
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 3: think that maybe and he's softer on the girls. But yeah, yeah,

860
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 3: I mean there's no rate to really there's there's no

861
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 3: way to really tell there is.

862
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: I can just do the best that I can. That's

863
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 1: a fact. And that's what I would encourage you to do, Like,

864
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,240
Speaker 1: do what naturally feels good. Do what makes your daughter

865
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 1: happy in this moment. Like right now you're exclusively breastfeeding.

866
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 1: I see you've been working hard at that. That is

867
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:59,760
Speaker 1: no easy feet. Look at the jazz you got teens y'all. Yeah,

868
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 1: when she came in to the driveway and I gave

869
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 1: her a hug, I was like, oh, we got t

870
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: stead of touching. This is amazing. I love that for you.

871
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 1: Yours mine is like powdered. Now yours is liquid. It's okay,

872
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 1: though the consistency has changed. But I just love to

873
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 1: see you like step into this motherhood energy. So based

874
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 1: on how your parents parented you, how do you know

875
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 1: that you're gonna make it different for your daughter? Like,

876
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 1: are there anything that you're intentionally gonna do differently? To say,

877
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 1: you know what, this didn't work for me growing up

878
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:32,439
Speaker 1: as a young lady. So I'm going to make sure

879
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: that I do this with my daughter.

880
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 3: Oh, I ran all over my mom. My mom was

881
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 3: so naive. I just knew that, Like all I had

882
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 3: to do was check in. Hey, Mammy, I may want

883
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 3: your life. Yes, he Even till this day at my

884
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 3: big age, she still has her location or my location

885
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 3: on her phone because she just wants to know, Like

886
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 3: she s like, I'm gonna have that with my boys,

887
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 3: you know, like she just wants to know, just are

888
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 3: you all right? So she would look at it and

889
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 3: just seem I'm at the house, or she'll be like,

890
00:38:58,160 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 3: yas it's late, I see you're.

891
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 1: Not at home. Are you all right?

892
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 3: You know, like, yeah, she just wants to know it.

893
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 3: And I always just let her know that I was okay.

894
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:06,840
Speaker 3: And as long as I did my check ins and

895
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 3: I let her know that I was okay, it was

896
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 3: pretty much free game. Right once I figured that out. Terrible, So, like,

897
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 3: I feel like, you're gonna be.

898
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 1: Doing more than checkings. You're gonna be pulling up on

899
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: sis oh cis tracker on the car. You know.

900
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 3: I feel like I would be I would be a

901
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 3: little bit more strict, yeah, but not to the point

902
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,919
Speaker 3: where It's like when she turns eighteen, she's a girl's gone.

903
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 1: We're also stifling her, you know, yeah too, Yeah. I

904
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: think kids need that balance of like discipline, but also

905
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: that open line of communication which is super important, Like

906
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 1: you never want her to be too scared to come

907
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 1: and tell moms something like because then they try to

908
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: like do things on their own and make decisions on

909
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: their own. It's like that constant balance of trying to

910
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: empower them to be their own people and they get

911
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 1: their own decisions. But it's like, as an adult, haven't

912
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 1: been through it?

913
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 3: You can ready, I'm not going Yeah, three months that

914
00:39:58,480 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 3: far ahead?

915
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 1: Right. What's surprised you the most about motherhood so far?

916
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 3: It's a love that I've never known. It's like like

917
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 3: we were talking about I'm a lover, right, and I

918
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, how much more can I really love somebody?

919
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,399
Speaker 1: Like? Right? You know, because it's like.

920
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 3: Cam is the greatest love I've ever known, Right, So

921
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 3: I was just like, it's going to be more than that,

922
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?

923
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, what makes that the greatest love you've ever known?

924
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 1: Is it? That? Is it being reciprocal love on a

925
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,879
Speaker 1: deeper level face off of what you've It's just love

926
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 1: on a.

927
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 3: Deeper level than I've ever experienced, you know, somebody to

928
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 3: really choose me, you know, and like just like just

929
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 3: it's funny because the thing that my parents loved about

930
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,280
Speaker 3: him was like, oh my gosh, Jazz, Like he takes

931
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 3: you everywhere. He just shows you off, like it doesn't

932
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 3: matter where he's going. It used to be times he's like,

933
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,760
Speaker 3: oh yeah, I got to go here, and I'm like, okay,

934
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 3: well just let me know where you're done.

935
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 1: He was like, you're coming with me? Like what you

936
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: mean right, I'll be like, oh my god, Like I'm

937
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: proud of you, you my girl.

938
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, like what you know, just introducing me in the

939
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 3: highest regard, like always having respect for me, like whoa

940
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 3: you know, and like my parents like when I when

941
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 3: I found out that meant allowed to them, it was

942
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 3: like wow, and then I just wasn't really used to that,

943
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So just just connecting with

944
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: someone on a very deep life, you know, after being

945
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 3: hurt and after going through breakups.

946
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: And oh yeah yeah you know. Yeah.

947
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 3: So like once I had her, it was like, oh,

948
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 3: this is what they talk about.

949
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 1: Very different, very different. Yeah, how much does people's perception

950
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 1: of you, now that your mom, now that you have

951
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: a partner, a life partner, how much just people's perception

952
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:49,359
Speaker 1: of you alter your reality? Does it matter? At this point?

953
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 1: It just doesn't matter. Now.

954
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 3: It's like I don't even care about social media, Like

955
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 3: I'll pop in every now and then, you know, just

956
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 3: to like do some mommy stuff or just hey guys,

957
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 3: I'm still alive, or like talk about breastfeeding, or.

958
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: But it's like, now.

959
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 3: Everybody used to know what I ate for breakfast, lunch,

960
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 3: and dinner, and who cut me off on the side

961
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:10,840
Speaker 3: of the road, or what I bought from Walgreens or

962
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 3: how this person was acting or what was my experience here.

963
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 3: Now it's just like I really enjoy my privacy. I

964
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 3: really enjoy you not knowing what I'm doing. I really

965
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 3: enjoy you not knowing the dynamic of me and my man.

966
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 3: I really enjoy POW. I reached out about like a

967
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 3: reality show for the two of us, and I was like, oh, yeah,

968
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 3: I would like never, absolutely not. I was like no,

969
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, first of all, he's way too private. I'm like,

970
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 3: you know, it just it just wouldn't right, it wouldn't work.

971
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 3: And I enjoy that. Nobody knows what our thing is.

972
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 3: They don't even know how we interact because we don't.

973
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 3: We don't show it right, you know, and people look like, oh,

974
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 3: he doesn't post you or he doesn't even follow you,

975
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 3: and it's like, it's.

976
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 1: Crazy that girl, Isn't it crazy how people's real world?

977
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:55,359
Speaker 1: It's really caught up in this abyss of social media,

978
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: Like if it doesn't happen on social media, like it

979
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 1: it's the craziest thing. It's not really, it's not really.

980
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 1: He doesn't follow you, he doesn't post you. Funny, funny

981
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: story because you know Crystal of course. Yeah, shout out

982
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: to Satima. Yeah, coming back at some point, we hope,

983
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: because they keep moving the goalposts on when the next

984
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 1: season is coming out, and I'm sitting over here waiting

985
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 1: if baited breath to see what's happening, because if that

986
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: won't tell me anything about the storyline, I like to

987
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 1: watch it in real time, so I don't know what's

988
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 1: happening that. I love that, so I like to watch

989
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,320
Speaker 1: it in real time. But anyway, shout out to the

990
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: team and shout out to Crystal Haslet. But yeah, it

991
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:28,359
Speaker 1: was funny. One there was like apparently, and I don't

992
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: I'm not on Twitter, so I don't know. But apparently

993
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 1: there was like a big thing because you know, everyone

994
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 1: wants to pin me in Crystal against each other for

995
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 1: whatever reason. I don't know. Yeah, that's again social media space,

996
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: like oh work, why versus real life. She's better with

997
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 1: who literally like our sister, like good friends, like all

998
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,479
Speaker 1: up in our house, vice versa. But anyway, again real

999
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: life versus social media. So to your point, but if

1000
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:55,720
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen on social media, it don't happen according

1001
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: to people who live on social media. So October last year,

1002
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,800
Speaker 1: my uncle pats away on the fourth, and Christmas birthday

1003
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 1: was like two weeks after that, the seventeenth. That yeah, yeah,

1004
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: all right, sixteenth or seventeen, So her birthday came up,

1005
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 1: and I was in the rut, of course, my uncle

1006
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: had just passed. I really wasn't posting much on social media.

1007
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 1: I think I had like a couple collab posts with

1008
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: deval Or, like work related stuff that I was obligated

1009
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 1: to post, but I really wasn't doing anything. I think

1010
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: I might have just like was gonna hiatus for a

1011
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 1: whole month. I think I remember that, Yeah, and then

1012
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:26,719
Speaker 1: her birthday came around and one of her friends was

1013
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 1: organizing something reached out and said, hey, kay, I know

1014
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: you have a lot going on right now, but just

1015
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,320
Speaker 1: wanted to let you know that we're doing this for

1016
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: Christmas birthday. If you're free and you're up to it,

1017
00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: come through. And literally was not in the moved to

1018
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 1: go anywhere the entire month, but I'm like, you know what,

1019
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: that's my girl. Let me go show up for her birthday.

1020
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:41,959
Speaker 1: So there was a birthday dinner at her friend's house.

1021
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 1: We were there, we took pictures, we hung out the

1022
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:45,800
Speaker 1: night and everything, and it was just what I needed

1023
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 1: in that space, you know, to kind of get a

1024
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 1: break from the grief. And we had such a great

1025
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,879
Speaker 1: time that night. She never posted a picture. I never

1026
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 1: posted a picture. I never posted a happy birthday Crystal

1027
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 1: Instagram story or whatever. And people were literally clocking my

1028
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 1: page and was like, well, Kadida, it post Crystal for

1029
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: her birthday and it's fake love, and it's fake love,

1030
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,759
Speaker 1: and I'm just like here, I was loving on her

1031
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 1: in real life, but y'all idiots over here, I want

1032
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 1: to talk about the love being fake because it wasn't

1033
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:18,439
Speaker 1: for y'all, and it wasn't performative on social media. Yeah,

1034
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:25,280
Speaker 1: it's shopped that And it's just amazing how people really

1035
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,879
Speaker 1: get caught up in this alternate universe, like social media

1036
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 1: is not a real place. It's really not a real place.

1037
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 1: And people are like, like you and I are out

1038
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 1: here loving in real life, showing up in real life,

1039
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 1: and I'm calling I'm not posting Jazzy be like, oh,

1040
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 1: congratulations with the baby. I'm calling you to say, Sis,

1041
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 1: I know what them first couple of days, and I

1042
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 1: know what it's like trying to get back with my

1043
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: man in a good space intimacy wise, after having a baby, Like,

1044
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 1: there's so many moving parts in real life that needs

1045
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: to be addressed, and when you really connect and relate

1046
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 1: with someone on that kind of level, people can't even

1047
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,359
Speaker 1: understand it. So you know what you do? You let

1048
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 1: them rock, Yeah, you let them fight amongst themselves, right,

1049
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: because y'all can take the time to do all that

1050
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 1: on your own because we know what it is in

1051
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 1: real life, right, Isn't that crazy? It's crazy.

1052
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,399
Speaker 3: It's just like y'all because it's always it always goes

1053
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,359
Speaker 3: back to my relationship, Like, oh, y'all, it's funny because

1054
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 3: I was reading an article they were like, yeah, they

1055
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 3: got together in twenty twenty one. Your facts are wrong.

1056
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 3: Where did you even get that? Like we were actually

1057
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,240
Speaker 3: together before that. People just like you guys don't.

1058
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 1: Know y'all don't know nothing. You really don't know nothing.

1059
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 3: It's like you just piece together things and like, okay,

1060
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 3: this sounds like it could be true.

1061
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,839
Speaker 1: Okay, I saw this this here, all right, let's put

1062
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 1: this here.

1063
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 3: It's like you try to puzzle piece people's lives, right,

1064
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 3: but it's like we're putting out what we want you to.

1065
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for sure, and from what they see then

1066
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 1: they create a whole narrative around it that.

1067
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 3: Yes, usually, but it's like you don't know usually faults,

1068
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 3: you don't know nothing.

1069
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: So with all that being said, that's your maintaining a

1070
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 1: space that is healthy for your daughter, your children, your

1071
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 1: life partner. What do you think is your guiding principles

1072
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,760
Speaker 1: for like maintaining a loving relationship, Like what does Jazzy

1073
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: want moving forward when she sees herself as life partner mother,

1074
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 1: bonus mom? What does that look like for you? Man?

1075
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 3: You know what, we have a big sing in our

1076
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:23,479
Speaker 3: house where we say lead with love.

1077
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 1: There's lead with love.

1078
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 3: Like I was talking to one of my friends on

1079
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 3: the ride over here and I was like, you know,

1080
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 3: when I became a mom, Like, I don't know what

1081
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 3: I was doing. I've never was like you leave the

1082
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 3: hospital and it's like, wait, it's just gonna be us.

1083
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 1: Wait what do you mean, I don't hold on like,

1084
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:42,799
Speaker 1: no nurse to call bell that all that.

1085
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 3: I'm just like, wait a minute, I was like, but

1086
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:46,720
Speaker 3: I was like, I didn't know what I was doing.

1087
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 3: I just know that I just lead with love. You

1088
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 3: figure it out, that's it. So when your heart is

1089
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 3: in the right place and you lead with love, everything

1090
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 3: else just kind of falls into place. And that's just

1091
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 3: what I do.

1092
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:01,800
Speaker 1: I believe it's not scripted. Like I'm just a very thoughtful,

1093
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 1: caring person.

1094
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 3: These are other people's words, not mine, But I'm just

1095
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 3: extremely thoughtful.

1096
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 1: But that's who you are. It is. So it's just

1097
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: people can't change that.

1098
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 3: If I know that this is your favorite and I'm

1099
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 3: out and I see something that I know that you

1100
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 3: would love, I'm going to come home with that because

1101
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:18,960
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, if I have access to

1102
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 3: getting it, like it could be like a pack of

1103
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 3: em and MS or whatever it is.

1104
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna come back with it and be like, oh

1105
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:25,280
Speaker 1: I saw these.

1106
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 3: And whatever whatever just my love language, or it's like

1107
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:29,439
Speaker 3: I want you to feel special, Like he was away

1108
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 3: for work for some time, and when he came home,

1109
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 3: like I had like a welcome home banner for him,

1110
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 3: Like I had like this, like you know, I had

1111
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 3: some goodies for him and stuff like that, because like you.

1112
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 1: Had some goodies and some good I want to supplied

1113
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:47,720
Speaker 1: the milk for the cookies. I want them to feel special.

1114
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: I want want them to fill loved.

1115
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:53,360
Speaker 3: And I think that my love language is words of affirmation,

1116
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 3: and my, oh my gosh, mine is all of them.

1117
00:48:56,360 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 3: Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, those like the.

1118
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:01,359
Speaker 1: Main three, the main three.

1119
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 3: Well mine is just okay, I see you're running out

1120
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,240
Speaker 3: of your favorite uh body wi right.

1121
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 1: That's me. I'm gonna replace it. Yeah, I'm like that too.

1122
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I see, like before you can even ask

1123
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 3: favorite meals like any little you don't. Ever, he ain't

1124
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,239
Speaker 3: never gonna say, hey, babe, can you get some more

1125
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 3: of that is already there. I'm gonna be like, oh,

1126
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 3: it's a matter of fact, Oh it's empty already hold on,

1127
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:26,879
Speaker 3: I just got to another one here, let me pull

1128
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 3: it off. Or when I see something running low and

1129
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 3: I see him in the shower and I'm looking on

1130
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 3: his side of the other shower and I see his

1131
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,840
Speaker 3: favorite low mouth wash just running low. It's replaced before

1132
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:37,360
Speaker 3: he even takes the last gargle, Babe, Like, I'm.

1133
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 1: That girl, right, you know what I'm saying. And that's

1134
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: how that girl and that's how I live.

1135
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 3: And that's how I am. Lot The kids too, Yeah,

1136
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 3: oh they would love this. Oh matter of fact, Oh,

1137
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 3: this is something that they would like or whatever it is,

1138
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like, Okay, I'm gonna do

1139
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 3: this special thing because like I think about them. Yeah,

1140
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 3: and it's like back to you know people who are like,

1141
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:02,279
Speaker 3: oh you' how could you be with someone who has

1142
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:02,759
Speaker 3: so many kids.

1143
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 1: It's like they're amazing. They're so amazing. I love that

1144
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 1: they really are. I love that they really are. And

1145
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 1: I'm sure they love on you just as much. Because

1146
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 1: one thing children are gonna do. They don't feel it.

1147
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 1: Yeah you're gonna say it, yeah, and they'll act accordingly. Yeah,

1148
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: you know, so children, children and dogs, animals, children and

1149
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: animals will know good people. Yeah, so you know, and

1150
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: it's funny. I'll watch my children if they kind of

1151
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 1: stay away from certain people or their energy, or you

1152
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 1: get a baby to somebody baby start crying. I'm like,

1153
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: not gonna look at you sideways, because I mean, your

1154
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 1: heart ain't right. You know.

1155
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 3: It's like, if I know everybody loves boba, like before,

1156
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,279
Speaker 3: you can't even ask me to get back the kids

1157
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 3: this week. We already got yeah, and you don't even

1158
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 3: have to tell me the one that you like because

1159
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 3: I know nobody. Like I had surprise them one day

1160
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 3: and came back with boba and one of them was like,

1161
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:49,160
Speaker 3: did you.

1162
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 1: Get the one? I'm like, of course I did. Of

1163
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,279
Speaker 1: course I did. As I said. I'm like, yeah, come on,

1164
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 1: I love that I know the one that you like.

1165
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,040
Speaker 3: And the thing is, I'm such a stickler too, so

1166
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 3: it's like, you know, say, for example, this one don't

1167
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:04,720
Speaker 3: like ice and this one does. It's like, I'm gonna

1168
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 3: remember that you don't like ice in your you know

1169
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 3: what I mean, Yep, and totally get it.

1170
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: And that's just that's the way.

1171
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 3: Even when it's fixing plates, everybody likes their plate different

1172
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 3: certain kind of way. You don't have to tell me

1173
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 3: you don't jazz is on it. Yeah, I know who

1174
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 3: don't like cheese? Who like those intolerance? Who wants I

1175
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 3: I know who want wants to.

1176
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 1: Dish that ketchup? I know who wants to ketch up

1177
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 1: on the burger? I know no, But that's that's how

1178
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:29,799
Speaker 1: it's five of me. I know, I get it.

1179
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:32,200
Speaker 3: And they're all different, right, And so it's like, so

1180
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 3: when you take the time to know their personalities and

1181
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:38,320
Speaker 3: know how they eat, and especially if I'm the one cooking,

1182
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 3: it's like, it's just paying attention to details, details and

1183
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,280
Speaker 3: what you love to do, because that's me, that's you.

1184
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 1: You're not asking nobody else to be that. That's just

1185
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:51,760
Speaker 1: who you are. What's a jazz? You know what's funny

1186
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 1: as I wrap up the conversation or the meat of

1187
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 1: the show with you. When I got to meet you,

1188
00:51:57,920 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 1: I think it was in La with Kendle on time.

1189
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 1: We were hanging out and we just had the best

1190
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 1: night out. The four of us were sitting chitting and

1191
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,319
Speaker 1: chaturth and whatnot. You did remember it was a it

1192
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: was a whole thing. That conversation I remember was a

1193
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 1: whole thing. And then just seeing you over the course

1194
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,760
Speaker 1: of our different interactions and stuff, and then you getting

1195
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: on as a team and whatnot. It's funny because I

1196
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 1: think I felt victim, which I think a lot of

1197
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 1: people do when they see someone on social media and

1198
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: their persona, they expect when you see them in person

1199
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: to be that person. And it was actually very refreshing

1200
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 1: when I got to just talk with you on just

1201
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:36,919
Speaker 1: like a very regular level, because I'm just like, you're

1202
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 1: just like a cool ass person, like super sweet, super

1203
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: down on Earth. Knows who you are, and as you

1204
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: continue to grow into who you are, me being a

1205
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: big aged forty year old woman, I just want to

1206
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 1: encourage you to just continue to exist as you have been,

1207
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 1: being like a strong woman, being an amazing mother. So far.

1208
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 1: I've seen the way you've been loving on your daughter,

1209
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 1: just even in the short time that we've been together

1210
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 1: here pre show making sure that she's okay. The way

1211
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: you're attentive to her, you're attentive to your family. I

1212
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 1: just love that for you, Jazzy. And one thing I'm

1213
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: always going to do is celebrate women in this space

1214
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: because we're all different, we're all wired differently, we require

1215
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 1: different things, we offer different things, and I just want

1216
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,320
Speaker 1: to speak life into you in this moment and just

1217
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 1: lets you know that you listen. I don't don't start

1218
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:27,839
Speaker 1: crying now, because okay, you can cry, I know how

1219
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 1: like the hormones is still, like you know, all over

1220
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 1: the place. But I don't think enough we do that

1221
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 1: as women, just celebrating who each person is, for their

1222
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 1: individuality and for their uniqueness. Too many times we're in

1223
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 1: spaces and arenas and these virtual spaces that are social

1224
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,799
Speaker 1: media platforms where we just everyone's tearing each other down

1225
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 1: to make themselves feel better about their mediocrity. You're not

1226
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 1: going to do that, well, you're not gonna do it

1227
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 1: on that as podcast, you know what I'm saying. But

1228
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 1: it's just people are in spaces where they are unhappy

1229
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 1: with who they are with their space and life, whatever

1230
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: they're doing, or their level of mediocrity, that they want

1231
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 1: to tear other people down. And I won't allow that

1232
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,200
Speaker 1: all my watch, not here as we sit together on

1233
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 1: a date with K. So continue doing what you've been doing, Jazzy,

1234
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 1: Do what makes you happy. Continue to lead with love,

1235
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:16,240
Speaker 1: as you've said, because look how far it has gotten

1236
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: you to this point. And I only see greater things

1237
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 1: moving forward as you go to film next week, more

1238
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 1: your back on the tema you filmed while you were pregnant. Yes,

1239
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:26,760
Speaker 1: what was that? Like? Real quick before we go and break.

1240
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,839
Speaker 3: You know what's funny they said to me, that's how

1241
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 3: we knew you were valuable. Instead of like shortening my

1242
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 3: my episodes, they got a body double for me.

1243
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 1: Wow, and they were like, Jazz, you have a body double.

1244
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: They're like yeah. They were like, oh, he has fires.

1245
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 1: GP loves you. He called me and was like, hey,

1246
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 1: how are you feeling.

1247
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 3: I was like i feel good and he's like, okay,

1248
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 3: I'm riding as a teama like do you feel good?

1249
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 3: Like do you want to be in the season? I'm

1250
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 3: like absolutely And then you know that and he was

1251
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,320
Speaker 3: like okay. He' said okay, don't worry about anything. We're

1252
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:55,680
Speaker 3: gonna work it out. And then they had a body

1253
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 3: double for me. But the fact that he even called

1254
00:54:57,719 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 3: me as he was riding it just to see what

1255
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 3: headspace I was in.

1256
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,279
Speaker 1: That's so indicative of who he is. Yet, No, it

1257
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:03,719
Speaker 1: really is, It really is.

1258
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:05,319
Speaker 3: And I was just like, of course, I was like

1259
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 3: I'm ready to work because obviously like being pregnant.

1260
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: It's like I needed to get back to something that

1261
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 1: really really made like happy. That meant like it was

1262
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 1: felt like yes, and I had a great pregnancy. But

1263
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 1: still I was like, yeah, it can be taxing, especially

1264
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:21,320
Speaker 1: how they film over there at TPS.

1265
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 3: So I get it, but I wanted to like but

1266
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 3: I just thought it was just very beautiful.

1267
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 1: That was beautiful. And if you haven't seen Caught Up,

1268
00:55:28,239 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 1: oh yeah, everybody about it. We couldn't talk about it

1269
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:33,800
Speaker 1: when the strike was happening, and that's when it launch

1270
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 1: was a BT plus because baby, the minute I knew

1271
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 1: it was coming out, it is such a good series.

1272
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:41,760
Speaker 1: If you haven't watched yet, I remember telling my sister

1273
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 1: about it my friends and they were like, yo, we

1274
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,759
Speaker 1: want more, and I'm like, you gotta come back season

1275
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 1: till you write me and it is your cousin, I

1276
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 1: do something. You know what I'm saying. Do what you

1277
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 1: gotta do. But if you can come back on season two,

1278
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 1: we're gonna like have to put up a petition. And

1279
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 1: if you haven't watched Caught Up yet, you have to

1280
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 1: catch it on b ET plus because it's such a

1281
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 1: good show and you did an amazing job. I love

1282
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,360
Speaker 1: the representation of their Indian parents. Like everything was just

1283
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 1: really really gay about that show, and I was locked in.

1284
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 1: So I'm hoping and I'm putting out there in the

1285
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 1: atmosphere that you're gonna get a season two and beyond.

1286
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:10,960
Speaker 1: We don't have to work on that.

1287
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:14,160
Speaker 3: Writer and executive producer and star baby period.

1288
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 1: Give her all the titles, all the accolades, everything, all

1289
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:18,760
Speaker 1: right now, Well, since you got all of them titles,

1290
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 1: come paties bills with me real quick. We're gonna take

1291
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:22,839
Speaker 1: a break and then we're gonna come back and we're

1292
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 1: doing one quick listener letter while the baby is still

1293
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 1: nice and quiet with me.

1294
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 2: Me.

1295
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 1: We're gonna see what they're talking about this week, so

1296
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:41,840
Speaker 1: stick around. All right, we're back. We fed some babies,

1297
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 1: some lip glos songs, use the potty, you know, refreshed

1298
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 1: and ready to go. We also notice that we both

1299
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:52,360
Speaker 1: have matching French pedicures. Yes we do. Okay, cute toe gang.

1300
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:55,920
Speaker 1: I love that, all right, y'all, So we're gonna dive in.

1301
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,399
Speaker 1: I have Jazzy here, who's gonna sit with me through

1302
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: y'all business. Okay, are we going to get into one

1303
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 1: of the things? Do you know because we had a

1304
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 1: lot to talk about. So we'll do one just to

1305
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 1: keep with the theme of doing listener letters. Hey, blessings

1306
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 1: and positive vibes to you both. I'll get straight to it.

1307
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:15,239
Speaker 1: Love that I just found out my partner has been unfaithful.

1308
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 1: We have a one and a half year old child together,

1309
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 1: and I don't know how one moves forward from this.

1310
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 1: This child deserves a family, but my heart is shattered

1311
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:27,200
Speaker 1: and I cannot fathom how this will work out for us.

1312
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,479
Speaker 1: He claims it was a one time thing and he's

1313
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 1: cut all communication. I want to be able to move

1314
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 1: forward from this, but I'm truly not seeing the light

1315
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 1: right now.

1316
00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 3: Any advice, oh child, go and give your married woman advice,

1317
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 3: and now I'll give you.

1318
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 1: I'll give you one. Right, So I found out my partner,

1319
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 1: so partner maybe not married, one year old child. You'd

1320
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 1: like to go back and decipher, like break it down

1321
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 1: and I'll see what actually is happening here. Well, first off,

1322
00:57:57,400 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 1: having the conversation with someone who's been unfaithful sometimes you

1323
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 1: got to get to the root of what exactly was

1324
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 1: going on. Now, this is not saying that either party

1325
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 1: was right nor wrong, because I feel like when people

1326
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 1: make the decision to step out of a relationship, whether

1327
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 1: that's a marriage or just a committed relationship, it's a choice.

1328
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 1: I know some people say that, oh, there's a mistake.

1329
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: You know what was gonna say? I didn't mean to

1330
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,440
Speaker 1: there was intent, there was a choice, so it happened.

1331
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 1: I think it's up to you at this point now

1332
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 1: to really decipher was this a one time thing. Are

1333
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 1: you with a habitual cheater or was this a moment

1334
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 1: where you were with someone where you know they made

1335
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 1: a wrong choice for whatever the reason may have been,

1336
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 1: and the choice behind or the reason behind this choice,

1337
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 1: is it something that you feel like you guys can

1338
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 1: bounce back from. So it's really it's hard to say,

1339
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 1: and it's hard to give, you know, advice in situations

1340
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 1: like this because you really don't know too much of

1341
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 1: the backstory of how we arrived at this. What do

1342
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 1: you think? Because have you been cheated on before? For sure?

1343
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 1: All right? And have you cheated on someone yes? Absolutely? Okay,

1344
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 1: So what would be your advice to her? Especially just

1345
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 1: having a one and a half year old too. I

1346
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 1: know that a lot of times you know that new

1347
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 1: baby feel and she ain't quite right, it ain't like

1348
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 1: how it used to be. Intimacy.

1349
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 3: Maybe she's blaming herself too, you know, because like you said,

1350
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 3: we don't really have too much backstor we don't know

1351
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:21,880
Speaker 3: if he's been cheating, been lying, been doing all the things.

1352
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 3: I don't know that It's interesting because I think that

1353
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,520
Speaker 3: I was having a conversation with somebody and they were saying, like,

1354
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 3: you know, back in the day, like our parents and

1355
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 3: our grandparents, like they fought for every reason to stay together.

1356
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 1: Now these days they look for every reason to leave. Ooh,

1357
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. That's a good point. So

1358
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 1: it's like everybody's so quick that throwing a towel.

1359
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying, you know what I mean, if

1360
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 3: you want to leave, hey, yes, that's your business. But

1361
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:53,880
Speaker 3: I think that, like you said, like getting to the

1362
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:55,919
Speaker 3: root of the issue and really finding out what's really

1363
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:56,840
Speaker 3: going on or whatever.

1364
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 1: I do know that.

1365
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 3: Women naturally are we are monogamous creatures, you know, But

1366
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,200
Speaker 3: I know, I do believe everything is a choice.

1367
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 1: But I do, you know, feel like men have a

1368
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 1: little bit more of that, like like they got a scratch,

1369
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 1: that they got a scratch, you know what I'm saying, However,

1370
01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 1: discipline men are disciplined men. I don't know what their

1371
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 1: relationship is, Like I don't know, and then not to

1372
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 1: justify anybody's actions or behavior, but I do know that

1373
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 1: they're I think the cheating there's levels. I think there's

1374
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:39,280
Speaker 1: emotional cheating, physical cheating. Sometimes that emotional could be weighing

1375
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:42,920
Speaker 1: more detrimental than they is, because it's like and harder

1376
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:43,480
Speaker 1: to break off.

1377
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 3: Yes, like do you would you rather him just like

1378
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 3: have sex with somebody that he doesn't really.

1379
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 1: Know, like one off and never talk to him again,

1380
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 1: or someone like who's making him laugh and sending him

1381
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 1: like good morning and knows his favorite snack, like you

1382
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying? Yeah, which which one was it right?

1383
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 3: He says it's you know, it's a mistake. He'll never

1384
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 3: do it again, Like, which which one was it right?

1385
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:10,920
Speaker 3: Because like men know how to detach themselves from their penis,

1386
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 3: like their mind.

1387
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:13,480
Speaker 1: That's what I've heard too, Yeah, you know, having several

1388
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:16,080
Speaker 1: conversations with deval or just other men, it's like they

1389
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:19,919
Speaker 1: can compartmentalize it a lot, whereas women maybe can't. Right,

1390
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:21,040
Speaker 1: So it's just like.

1391
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:22,760
Speaker 3: You hear cheating, You're like, oh my gosh, she guta

1392
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:25,360
Speaker 3: say it with another woman like a but it's like

1393
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:29,000
Speaker 3: he can literally like have zero feelings for that person.

1394
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: It's wild.

1395
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, and again I don't know the situation. I don't know,

1396
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:35,160
Speaker 3: but like you said, I would get to the root

1397
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 3: of it. I don't think that. I mean, of course,

1398
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 3: in the initial is like, oh my gosh, we'll never

1399
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:40,760
Speaker 3: be together.

1400
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 1: Right, Like it's especially having a one year when it's like,

1401
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 1: you know, she's still postpartum, she's still doing it with

1402
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:46,640
Speaker 1: all the things.

1403
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:48,920
Speaker 3: And it's like, you guys have a child, so regardless

1404
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:51,320
Speaker 3: if you leave him or not, he's still gonna be.

1405
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:55,960
Speaker 1: Parenting is going to be. It's inevitable, exact inevitable. It's

1406
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 1: interesting you brought up you know, our parents generation or

1407
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 1: even our grandparents where it's just like, damn y'all don't

1408
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 1: fight through anything. But the converse side of that is

1409
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 1: that damn y'all stuck around through anything too, you know.

1410
01:02:07,760 --> 01:02:10,439
Speaker 1: So it's really boiling down to what you said. It's

1411
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 1: deciphering what's worth holding on to, what's worth working through

1412
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,000
Speaker 1: and if your heart is just not in it because

1413
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 1: there's no coming back, Like some people just have some

1414
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 1: non negotiables, you know, and you really have to ask yourself,

1415
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 1: like what is my non negotiable? What am I not

1416
01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 1: willing to tolerate? And he's going to have to respect

1417
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 1: that whatever that looks like for you. But also to time,

1418
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:38,000
Speaker 1: Time does heal, Time does bring clarity. Time allows you

1419
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 1: to assess the situation outside of rage and fury when

1420
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:44,400
Speaker 1: you kind of settle in it and you have those

1421
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 1: conversations and it may not want be one conversation or two,

1422
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 1: it may be several for you to really understand, like,

1423
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 1: what was the root of this choice that he made here?

1424
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:55,880
Speaker 1: Was it something that you know was faltering on his side?

1425
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 1: You know, was it something faltering on my side? Again,

1426
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:01,040
Speaker 1: not placing blame on hither person and for why it happened,

1427
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,560
Speaker 1: because the choice was the choice. But a lot of

1428
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 1: times when you're in a committed relationship, it is sometimes

1429
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:07,959
Speaker 1: worth it if you feel like you want to stick

1430
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:09,960
Speaker 1: it out to really get to the root of the

1431
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:11,840
Speaker 1: issue because there was something else going on here that

1432
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:12,960
Speaker 1: drove to that.

1433
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 3: And really and you know, create a safe space for

1434
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:19,800
Speaker 3: your partner to talk to you, because like that saved

1435
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:21,440
Speaker 3: Vali lots.

1436
01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:21,960
Speaker 1: And that's the real thing.

1437
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:25,920
Speaker 3: It's like what if what if he just didn't have

1438
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 3: nobody to talk to him and became you know, started

1439
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:29,560
Speaker 3: talking to this person and she heard him out because

1440
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,160
Speaker 3: every time he tries to talk to you, you you

1441
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 3: fussing and arguing and he's not a safe space for him. However,

1442
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:36,160
Speaker 3: that can be like, oh, you're taking a man's side.

1443
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 1: I'm not.

1444
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,919
Speaker 3: It's just that I'm just trying to see how this

1445
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:41,760
Speaker 3: thing could have happened. And if you guys are going

1446
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:44,120
Speaker 3: to talk about it and either resolve or break up

1447
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 3: a conversation, it's worth having a conversation.

1448
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, still worth knowing. And I feel like.

1449
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 3: You should be able to talk without fighting. You can

1450
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:55,520
Speaker 3: have heated discussions, but like like lets some time go

1451
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 3: by and calm yourselves down and then really talk about it.

1452
01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 3: But also like really hear the person out, don't just

1453
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 3: listen like I can't.

1454
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:05,600
Speaker 1: Let me hear what you have to say. Okay, you

1455
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:09,440
Speaker 1: fuck me? Okay? And yeah, and I was at work

1456
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:13,680
Speaker 1: like no, like like really listen, like really listen and

1457
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 1: understand trying to see you know what, maybe I can

1458
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 1: understand why it came across that way, or why you

1459
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:22,160
Speaker 1: proceed it that way or how you arrived at this destination. Yeah,

1460
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,440
Speaker 1: whenever the Valan I have like disagreements and stuff, he

1461
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 1: normally is just like, well, listen to how I feel

1462
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:28,600
Speaker 1: and understand how I feel, and how I feel is

1463
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:30,640
Speaker 1: how I feel. Don't try to persuade persuade me to

1464
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:34,440
Speaker 1: feel any differently. But for me, I'm always like, but

1465
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:37,200
Speaker 1: I need you to understand how I arrived at this,

1466
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 1: this this thought like why did I do the things

1467
01:04:39,200 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 1: I did? There's a reason behind it.

1468
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:42,680
Speaker 3: And you know what's interesting because the times that I've

1469
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:44,320
Speaker 3: cheated was aut of retaliation.

1470
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:49,120
Speaker 1: So you weren't the cheatya. Initially you weren't the cheat.

1471
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:52,800
Speaker 1: You were just cheating as a No, not like you're

1472
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 1: you cheated, I'm gonna cheat back. It's more like it's

1473
01:04:56,680 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 1: there's just some things that you need and like, Okay,

1474
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,240
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna just paint a picture. I'm not not

1475
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:05,800
Speaker 1: saying this is what happened with me, but just say like.

1476
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,680
Speaker 3: You crave for your partner to tell you that you're beautiful.

1477
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,360
Speaker 3: You've told them time and time again. I need words

1478
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 3: like I need you to tell me these things. I

1479
01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:15,920
Speaker 3: need you to tell me.

1480
01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:18,600
Speaker 1: He don't do it. Don't do it don't do it.

1481
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,600
Speaker 3: Somebody I show John or whoever tells you like wow,

1482
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:24,439
Speaker 3: like you're really beautiful, like I really like your today

1483
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 3: or whatever, and it feel like, oh my gosh, that void.

1484
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,200
Speaker 3: So this is what in my relationship we always call

1485
01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:33,480
Speaker 3: like crevice. That's when that crevis got you know what

1486
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:37,880
Speaker 3: I mean, like creating And it could start off innocent

1487
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 3: and then it's your line fracture. Oh yeah, somebody somebody

1488
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:48,360
Speaker 3: notice is something about you that your partner didn't notice,

1489
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:50,600
Speaker 3: and then you're just like you just want to be seen.

1490
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:52,640
Speaker 3: And then it's just like you just want to feel sexy,

1491
01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:54,760
Speaker 3: you want to feel womanly. And then it's like, of

1492
01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 3: course he'll fuck you. We I mean like it's not

1493
01:05:56,480 --> 01:06:02,800
Speaker 3: too many men, it's not gonna you know, you getting

1494
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 3: that at lacking right, So it's just that thing. So

1495
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:08,240
Speaker 3: it's like you have the conversation, okay for a woman

1496
01:06:08,280 --> 01:06:10,480
Speaker 3: steps out and it's just like I just needed to feel,

1497
01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:15,040
Speaker 3: you know, And it's like as a man, I'm sure

1498
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:17,120
Speaker 3: it's hard for them to take that accountability and say,

1499
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 3: you know what, you're right, I wasn't telling you that

1500
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,880
Speaker 3: you look beautiful. I wasn't doing those things or whatever,

1501
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:27,920
Speaker 3: and you accept your fault in their action, not justifying it,

1502
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:32,040
Speaker 3: but hearing the person out. Now back to her, whatever

1503
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:36,000
Speaker 3: that thing is, find out what that thing is, you know,

1504
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:38,160
Speaker 3: and it might not be nothing. It might have just

1505
01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:40,720
Speaker 3: been a one time thing, but I think it's worth

1506
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 3: finding out and really like getting to know how somebody feels.

1507
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:48,919
Speaker 3: And the minute that you show somebody it's safe over here,

1508
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:51,320
Speaker 3: they'll continue to talk to you. And that's what you want,

1509
01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 3: especially if you want to have longevity with a person

1510
01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:54,920
Speaker 3: and even co parenting.

1511
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:59,400
Speaker 1: Y'all, communication gotta be right. So either way in the

1512
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:01,439
Speaker 1: way I go back, which for you twisted, you gonna

1513
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:05,640
Speaker 1: have to talk to that man so big big is

1514
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:09,360
Speaker 1: gonn unfold? Yeah exactly. Oh my god. It's some pretty

1515
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:11,600
Speaker 1: good advice. Thanks Jazzy so much for that, and I

1516
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 1: hope that things work out for you. Sis set us

1517
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:16,080
Speaker 1: a follow up, you know what I'm saying. Sometimes when

1518
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:18,200
Speaker 1: we have too little, we have to paint a picture again,

1519
01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:21,000
Speaker 1: Like we talked about that, painting a narrative around, just

1520
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:23,480
Speaker 1: like a little piece of information. But then I said

1521
01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:25,520
Speaker 1: that to say, the second listening letter was like about

1522
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:27,240
Speaker 1: two miles long, and I'm like, I ain't reading that

1523
01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:31,200
Speaker 1: right now? How could I ask y'all for more information?

1524
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:33,320
Speaker 1: You give me more information. I'm just like, Okay, we

1525
01:07:33,320 --> 01:07:35,560
Speaker 1: don't want to read it today, but no, we're gonna

1526
01:07:35,560 --> 01:07:38,240
Speaker 1: probably push this listening letter to another episode, which is

1527
01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:40,360
Speaker 1: all good when we have more time, because Jazzy and

1528
01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 1: I were just diving in talking all things perception, reality,

1529
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:49,600
Speaker 1: social media. You can do mom leading with love. You

1530
01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 1: like that one. I love that one. I'm gonna use

1531
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 1: that one. But if you want to be featured as

1532
01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:56,960
Speaker 1: a listener letter, please write into us at dead ass

1533
01:07:56,960 --> 01:07:59,640
Speaker 1: Advice at gmail dot com. That's d E A d

1534
01:07:59,840 --> 01:08:03,000
Speaker 1: A S S A d V I C E at

1535
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. So to round out the show, Jazzy, yes,

1536
01:08:06,520 --> 01:08:09,360
Speaker 1: I can let you and your baby go, and we

1537
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:12,000
Speaker 1: dodged some traffic so you can get home, hopefully in

1538
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:13,360
Speaker 1: a short amount of time than it took you to

1539
01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:15,800
Speaker 1: get here, hopefully. But we normally wrap the show with

1540
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 1: something we call the moment of truth. And the moment

1541
01:08:18,439 --> 01:08:20,600
Speaker 1: of truth is just essentially kind of like how we

1542
01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:23,240
Speaker 1: started with that SoundBite in the beginning. Now that we've spoken,

1543
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:25,479
Speaker 1: we've kind of flushed through the episode. We've gotten to

1544
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:28,160
Speaker 1: say how we feel what's the takeaway that you have

1545
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:31,559
Speaker 1: or something you want people to know that kind of

1546
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:35,120
Speaker 1: wraps up the conversation that we had today, and that's

1547
01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:38,439
Speaker 1: normally our moment of truth time. I'll go first. I

1548
01:08:38,439 --> 01:08:41,919
Speaker 1: think I have one my moment of truth after listening

1549
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:45,879
Speaker 1: to you Jazzy, share your perspective, your story, how motherhood

1550
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:51,200
Speaker 1: has changed you, how you're not allowing your privacy to

1551
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:57,040
Speaker 1: be dismantled or infiltrated. Just know that when you are

1552
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:02,519
Speaker 1: experiencing someone in the social media realm, you are seeing

1553
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 1: what they want you to see. And we should not

1554
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:09,519
Speaker 1: be judging folks for what we don't see or creating

1555
01:09:09,640 --> 01:09:13,080
Speaker 1: narratives around who we think or what we think is transpiring.

1556
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:16,479
Speaker 1: And really, I think the focus should be a self

1557
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:19,240
Speaker 1: reflection on like who you are, and you think about

1558
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:24,800
Speaker 1: why you are projecting on other people and think about

1559
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:27,960
Speaker 1: how that can really affect people in real life, in reality,

1560
01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:33,320
Speaker 1: just based off of your perspective. So essentially, do you

1561
01:09:33,880 --> 01:09:36,360
Speaker 1: let people do them and we can all be happy

1562
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:39,080
Speaker 1: and coexist together? Yes?

1563
01:09:39,280 --> 01:09:43,120
Speaker 3: Too, It's like, really, in the culture, can't nobody mind

1564
01:09:43,160 --> 01:09:45,360
Speaker 3: naby everybody want to be in somebody business?

1565
01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 1: For sure? Have you heard about this, I'll be like, no,

1566
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:49,880
Speaker 1: I have a new born. I don't know what's going on.

1567
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 1: But then you have people that say, well, if you

1568
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:54,559
Speaker 1: don't want me in business, don't be putting ye business

1569
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:56,840
Speaker 1: out there. Well, baby, y'all want to just take the

1570
01:09:56,920 --> 01:10:00,880
Speaker 1: situation and round. It's just like it's like one thing

1571
01:10:00,920 --> 01:10:03,120
Speaker 1: I was trying to share and then now we were like, yeah,

1572
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:04,439
Speaker 1: another thing, you posting your baby?

1573
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:07,280
Speaker 3: If you go cover the phase because I'm excited about

1574
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:09,639
Speaker 3: being a mom bitch, that's fine period.

1575
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:13,320
Speaker 1: And is that the moment of truth? Right? My moment

1576
01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:16,479
Speaker 1: of truth is honestly, like you gotta give people grace. Yes,

1577
01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,439
Speaker 1: give that's a good one. That's like an overarching topic,

1578
01:10:19,479 --> 01:10:20,560
Speaker 1: including yourself.

1579
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:26,240
Speaker 3: Give people grace, give yourself grace, because I've had to

1580
01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:30,360
Speaker 3: learn to give myself grace through this process of like,

1581
01:10:31,439 --> 01:10:32,840
Speaker 3: you know, I was talking to one of my friends

1582
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:34,800
Speaker 3: today and I was like, you know, my child is

1583
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:37,760
Speaker 3: like my purse and I don't leave home without it.

1584
01:10:38,439 --> 01:10:40,639
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. It's like my American Express,

1585
01:10:40,720 --> 01:10:46,120
Speaker 1: well like de vous American Express. Yeah, like the Amax

1586
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,479
Speaker 1: killer or like I said it before, time and time again, like.

1587
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:50,559
Speaker 3: Your ID or your credit card or whatever you just

1588
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:53,519
Speaker 3: can't leave on what I was like, she gotta go

1589
01:10:53,880 --> 01:10:55,960
Speaker 3: like wherever I go, Like I'm here with my baby

1590
01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:58,640
Speaker 3: right now, you know, like she has to come Like

1591
01:10:58,680 --> 01:10:59,880
Speaker 3: I gotta work tomorrow, she come in.

1592
01:11:00,479 --> 01:11:03,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just what it is. It's just what it is.

1593
01:11:03,560 --> 01:11:06,439
Speaker 3: And I had to just like give myself grace because

1594
01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:11,240
Speaker 3: I'm like, I feel like I don't like feeling like

1595
01:11:11,280 --> 01:11:14,400
Speaker 3: a burden on people. It's just like, n it's my child,

1596
01:11:14,520 --> 01:11:15,920
Speaker 3: Like I don't I don't want you to have to

1597
01:11:16,400 --> 01:11:17,920
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like like a little bit ago,

1598
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:20,519
Speaker 3: she was crying and I was apologizing to your mom, like,

1599
01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:21,519
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

1600
01:11:21,640 --> 01:11:24,800
Speaker 1: Who made me know something about crying? Shall Yeah, yeah,

1601
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:26,479
Speaker 1: so it should. I get it. You just want to

1602
01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:28,479
Speaker 1: make sure that she's good, especially as the first time.

1603
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:30,880
Speaker 1: You want to make sure that like you hear her cry.

1604
01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:33,519
Speaker 1: It's like oh yeah, first off, if your ears go up,

1605
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:38,120
Speaker 1: start leaking, yep, and then you're just like oh anxiety. Yeah, well,

1606
01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:41,120
Speaker 1: just know that you have a safe space here and

1607
01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:46,639
Speaker 1: we family like literally, but also yeah, given myself family

1608
01:11:46,720 --> 01:11:49,679
Speaker 1: to No. I appreciate you. I just knew that once

1609
01:11:49,720 --> 01:11:51,400
Speaker 1: we were going to have you on today that it

1610
01:11:51,439 --> 01:11:53,080
Speaker 1: was going to be a little bit flexible. That's why

1611
01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:54,280
Speaker 1: we put you at the end of the day. So

1612
01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:56,559
Speaker 1: that way, if we stop for feedings and changings and

1613
01:11:56,600 --> 01:11:59,320
Speaker 1: all that good stuff, you know that we were able

1614
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:01,360
Speaker 1: to make it happy. And I appreciate you because it's

1615
01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:03,920
Speaker 1: not easy, you know, three months postpartum to pack up

1616
01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:07,920
Speaker 1: and go anywhere. Okay, anyway, I know three months postpartum. Like,

1617
01:12:07,920 --> 01:12:09,759
Speaker 1: if you're not coming to me, I am not coming

1618
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:12,840
Speaker 1: to you. So I appreciate you for taking the time

1619
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:16,280
Speaker 1: to come and bring baby girl along. Now, tell everybody

1620
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:19,160
Speaker 1: what's next, Where they can find you, where they can follow,

1621
01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:21,920
Speaker 1: Tell them what Tell them about Jazzy where we can

1622
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:25,960
Speaker 1: find Okay, Oh well, I don't know if I want

1623
01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:29,200
Speaker 1: to be found. I like my I like my rock. Okay.

1624
01:12:29,200 --> 01:12:31,960
Speaker 3: However, however, if you're on social you can follow me

1625
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:37,040
Speaker 3: on Instagram at watch Jazzy. Also Satiama season one, two

1626
01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:41,080
Speaker 3: and three, Yes, ma'am about to be filming season four and.

1627
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:45,880
Speaker 1: Yes on the way okay, And obviously you can stream

1628
01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:49,800
Speaker 1: my show Caught Up limited series as of right now

1629
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:53,320
Speaker 1: four episodes on BT plus, written and executive produced and

1630
01:12:53,360 --> 01:12:53,960
Speaker 1: starring me.

1631
01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:58,240
Speaker 3: So that's the Big one. Also, we need four more.

1632
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:01,240
Speaker 1: I know everybody's so good you'll have to watch it

1633
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:01,880
Speaker 1: really is.

1634
01:13:02,320 --> 01:13:04,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, it just just stay tuned. I might not post

1635
01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:05,800
Speaker 3: a lot of these days, but when I.

1636
01:13:05,760 --> 01:13:09,439
Speaker 1: Do, you're gonna wanna You're gonna wanna be. I love that.

1637
01:13:09,479 --> 01:13:11,920
Speaker 1: Thank you, Jasey, and be sure to find us on

1638
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:15,120
Speaker 1: Patreon if you have not joined yet, be sure to

1639
01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:18,200
Speaker 1: subscribe to get exclusive dead Ass podcast content, as well

1640
01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:20,840
Speaker 1: as more Ellis Family content. All Day K A Day

1641
01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:23,080
Speaker 1: with K. I think we're liking the flow of this

1642
01:13:23,200 --> 01:13:25,599
Speaker 1: giving talk show vibe, so we'll see how that goes.

1643
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,240
Speaker 1: But yeah, dead Ass the podcast is on Instagram. You

1644
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:31,559
Speaker 1: can find me at Kadeen I am. And don't forget

1645
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:33,280
Speaker 1: about my hubby. I know he hasn't been around for

1646
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:35,360
Speaker 1: a couple episodes, but you can follow him on I

1647
01:13:35,479 --> 01:13:39,120
Speaker 1: Am deval And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, please

1648
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:42,080
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, and subscribe because we still

1649
01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:43,920
Speaker 1: we still like when you do that, so please do

1650
01:13:44,280 --> 01:13:45,679
Speaker 1: all right, dead ass y'all.

1651
01:13:48,600 --> 01:13:51,640
Speaker 2: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network, and

1652
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:55,320
Speaker 2: it's produced by Donor Pinya and Triple. Follow the podcast

1653
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:58,000
Speaker 2: on social media at dead Ass The podcast and never

1654
01:13:58,040 --> 01:14:04,360
Speaker 2: miss a thing