1 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,639 Speaker 1: Welcome to episode three of My Year in Mensa, my 2 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: podcast about that exact topic, My Year in Mensa. So 3 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: if this is the first episode you're listening to, I 4 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: highly encourage you to go back to the beginning so 5 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: you know what the fun is going on. If you 6 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: choose to just jump in, I can't stop you. I 7 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,200 Speaker 1: don't understand the logic behind it. So, if you're returning 8 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: the incredible, powerful cliffhanger, I left you on last episode, 9 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 1: in which I attended a party that was being thrown 10 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: by a secret Facebook group I r L and ended 11 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: up in this bizarre, low key physical altercation with a 12 00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: stranger day one of the MENSA Convention. I add resolutely 13 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: did get drunken, cry, very messy, And we're just gonna 14 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: blaze on into episode three. Welcome you, smart bastards. We're 15 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: gonna go forward to July. This is day two of 16 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 1: my time at the MENSA annual gathering otherwise known and 17 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: I feel like I haven't hit on this hard enough. 18 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: It's called Men's Rising. Who knows. So I walked two 19 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 1: blocks from my airbnb to get to the nearest Ice 20 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: coffee and like sausage and cheese sandwich, and I completely 21 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 1: swept through my clothes getting there. I was aware that 22 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: Arizona was hot, but eight am needing to change your 23 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 1: clothes hot It's a bit much. So I get my 24 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: breakfast and then I lay in my Airbnb for a 25 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 1: full hour until I have to haul us back to 26 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: the Sheraton Grand Downtown and go to my first Mussie 27 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: event of the day, which is a talk called because 28 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: Science Is Funny The Big Bang Theory, Young Sheldon and you. 29 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: And honestly, it is well worth the walk to the Sheraton. 30 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: Their room is absolutely packed. There's over one mentions just 31 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 1: cracking up and reciting a deeply sexist scene from The 32 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: Big Bang Theory from memory? Did you like to hear 33 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: another reason why men are better than women? And the speaker, 34 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: who's a fan of the show, obviously spends most of 35 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: the time just rehashing the one time he was in 36 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: the live audience of a Big Bang Theory episode, and 37 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 1: they do take a sort of interesting look at how 38 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:31,359 Speaker 1: they used actual science in the show. I cannot say 39 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: it enough. Men sins are not funny people. Oh you 40 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: hear women say? Is always have a salad? Where's my 41 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: lip gloss? I decided to skip out on some of 42 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 1: the things I was going to see, which include something 43 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: called dealing with Problem Members and atheist meeting, And instead 44 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: I meet my only friend at the conference, to who 45 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: I've known for less than twenty four hours, and we 46 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: go to a presentation being made about Jonestown by someone 47 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: who was there, and believe it or not, it is 48 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: the calmest I've felt since I got there. And it 49 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: is interesting that the mentions I encounter during the day 50 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: portion of this conference are far closer to what I 51 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: envisioned them to be when I first started writing about MENSA. 52 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: The one thing I always underestimated was the wide range 53 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,839 Speaker 1: of class backgrounds that members are from, so as to say, 54 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:24,639 Speaker 1: the MENSA founding elitist Australian assholes who have discussed in 55 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: past episodes Roland Barrel would not be pleased of the 56 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: range of class representation in the organization because he famously 57 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: said that MENSA should be quote an aristocracy of the 58 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: intellect unquote. He was a dick. But what I also 59 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: underestimated about MENSA was the wide array of prejudices that 60 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: people inside of this group would have, regardless of class. 61 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: For the most part, daytime mentions I'll call them are 62 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: older people that enjoy the talks of debates as well 63 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: as talking with other mentions in the hospitality room or 64 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: the cafeteria. There are moments when I am sitting in 65 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: hospital pality, usually alone, that this makes a lot of 66 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: sense to me, because even in a community that I 67 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: have found to be very exclusionary and troubling, still looks 68 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: and functions like a community, and it seems like plenty 69 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: of people who are there engaged with it in a 70 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: relatively healthy way. There's a lot of people here who 71 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 1: only see each other once a year at the annual gathering, 72 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,039 Speaker 1: and there's no shortage of people who haven't seen each 73 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: other in years giving each other hugs and taking pictures 74 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 1: over the shitty cafeteria food that we've all been forced 75 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: to eat. So I'm just writing out my thoughts about 76 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: this at lunch, not feeling particularly watched for once. However, 77 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 1: this moment of introspection and of realizing that there's more 78 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: to this group than I gave credit for going in 79 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:47,359 Speaker 1: is later posted about in the American Mensa Firehouse the 80 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: Secret Group, and the commenters are mentioning how they saw 81 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,359 Speaker 1: Jamie sitting alone at the lunch table how sad and 82 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,279 Speaker 1: pathetic must that be to see me alone like that 83 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 1: at mens arising so you know, multitudes but also not 84 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: And then I have to go back to my room 85 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: to prepare for the MENSA Gala dinner. It happens every year. 86 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 1: People get dressed to the nines. I wear what I 87 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: wore yesterday. Sorry, And you pay seventy five dollars to 88 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 1: have a piece of cheesecake and a piece of meat 89 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: with your fellow medicines and listen to Adam Savage bust 90 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,919 Speaker 1: various myths for two hours. Of course, I have to 91 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 1: invest in a ticket to this event. I want to 92 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,600 Speaker 1: know what the gala is like, and what I can 93 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,839 Speaker 1: for sure say it has is the two things that 94 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: make me more anxious than anything in the world, which 95 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 1: is face to face confrontation and not knowing who to 96 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: sit with at an event. I'm able to push past 97 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,360 Speaker 1: one of them pretty quickly and I find a table 98 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: with some older people at the far end of the ballroom. 99 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: I am feeling very insecure that I did not bring 100 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 1: a gown. People are dressed very nicely at this event, 101 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: and once I get there, I Facebook message to to 102 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: let them know that I found us a spot. I 103 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,479 Speaker 1: start eating my salad very quickly. The food in the 104 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: cafeteria is bad, and before I can take it by 105 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: of food, another man appears beside me, to my right, 106 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: and he says I'm Michael, Mensa's head of marketing, and 107 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,720 Speaker 1: he extends a firm clammy marketer's handshake to me and says, 108 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: would you like to come sit at our table? I 109 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,600 Speaker 1: tell Michael, I can only do it if there's room 110 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: for my friend, because two is the closest thing I 111 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: have to a friend in the entire world here, and 112 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 1: Michael says, sorry, there's no room and he goes back 113 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,279 Speaker 1: to the table. Then two finally shows up and he 114 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,680 Speaker 1: asks me who I was just talking to. And while 115 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: I was very polite for the Mensa marketing team to 116 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 1: invite me to their table, you know, so it's a 117 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:40,720 Speaker 1: little transparent. A very drunk mention who's come to our 118 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: sort of misfits table, leans in very close to tell 119 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: me where I should visit in Scotland and about the 120 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: various graphic novels he's been working on. He starts out 121 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 1: very condescending to me and then learns that I am 122 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,159 Speaker 1: a TV writer and magically becomes less so, which I've 123 00:06:56,160 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: found is something that very cool, respectful people do. And 124 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,119 Speaker 1: if someone else is walking home through to our table, 125 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: the drunk guy recognizes him and says, there he is, 126 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 1: and who is he pointing to? But Joey, the man 127 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: I met at a party last night who has led 128 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: the charge on online harassment. And I know I've been 129 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: told that he was an important person on the board 130 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: of American Ments Up, but even I underestimated exactly how 131 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: important his position was. According to the program, he's one 132 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: of the many sub chairs of the American Mensa Committee, 133 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: and he is dressed the part. Drunk guy and Joey 134 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: exchanged pleasantries, and Joey places a firm hand on my 135 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: shoulder and he says, everything going well, And I'm very uncomfortable, 136 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: And I say, yep, because as far as I know, 137 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: Joey still thinks I don't know who he is, because 138 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: he has blocked me so long ago that he can 139 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: just sort of treat me however he wants and I 140 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: won't be the wiser. And he says great, pats me 141 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: on the back, greets too as well, although he's repeatedly 142 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: harassed him online as well, And then he returns to 143 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: his officials only table at the front of the gala. 144 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: So Adam Savage is about to take the state bust 145 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: some myths as this year's big talk giver when Two 146 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: nudges me and points a few tables over and he 147 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: tells me that Katie is sitting there. But I can't 148 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: see Katie. All I can see is a make America 149 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 1: Great Again hat floating somewhere in the crowd, attached to 150 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: a petite woman's head, And Two says, you know who 151 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: she is already, and this time he's right. Katie is 152 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 1: one of the only people in Firehouse who I am 153 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: very familiar with. I was still blocked by her on Facebook, 154 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: but I knew her reputation as one of the most 155 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: outspoken Trump supporters in the group who was occasionally kicked 156 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 1: off Facebook altogether for posting offensive things that broke the 157 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: community guidelines. She held the Firehouse community in extremely high regard, 158 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: and after my most recent piece on the group, she 159 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: had commented on an Instagram post of mine saying the following, 160 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 1: let it be known that this comedian is a slimy 161 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 1: odd and this is just the first line. Here are 162 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: some select passages from that comment, which is from February, 163 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: and it genuinely has too long to repeat in its entirety. 164 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: So these are just some highlights. I'm not a fan 165 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: of people throwing others under the bus to further they're 166 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: already unfruitful and destined to fail career. You're the first 167 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: person ever that are unmoderated group has had to mass 168 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: block because you're shady and trying to ruin people's lives. 169 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 1: You're probably one of the geekiest, most unattractive people in 170 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: our organization, and attention seeking kunt who wants to fame 171 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: everyone acts stop fucking with my friends. Oh, and see 172 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: you in Phoenix. So that's the person we're talking about. 173 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: And she's a few tables away in her MAGA hat too. 174 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,719 Speaker 1: In spite of getting into similar arguments with her, has 175 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 1: already voluntarily taken a few pictures with her and says 176 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,679 Speaker 1: that she's been very nice to him and that I 177 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: should consider giving her a chance. And I don't understand 178 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,199 Speaker 1: the need for pictures, but I tell him I'm happy 179 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: to talk with her if she wants to. Adam Savage 180 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 1: gives a lovely talk about the myths that he's busted, 181 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,679 Speaker 1: and it truly does kind of feel like medicine to 182 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 1: hear someone talk about something other than how my a 183 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: g is going. So after he speaks, the gala ends, 184 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: which means it's once again party time, and in the 185 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 1: gen Y Suite that night, I have formally scrapped my 186 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 1: get black out drunk with the men since in order 187 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 1: to better relate with them portion of my annual gathering plan, 188 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: because look, I'm not Hunter Thompson. I am a tired lady, 189 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: and I'm nervous, and i am alone, and I can't 190 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 1: leave Phoenix for another thirty hours, so I'm not drinking tonight, 191 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: which is a challenge because it's toga night and the 192 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: only thing worse than being me at this party is 193 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: being me without a toga made out of stolen sheets 194 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 1: from the sheraton. Completely sober, black lights are illuminating me 195 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 1: tastefully well researched knots of many a mense in toga 196 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: you can't say they don't do their homework, and the 197 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 1: alcohol is flowing as heavy as the night before, But 198 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: I don't have sheets from the sheraton because I'm not 199 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: staying there, so I sort of just pray to remain 200 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: invisible for a few minutes while I get my bearings. 201 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 1: This time, I'm back with my friend who I wept 202 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 1: to for an hour the night before, Tall guy, and 203 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: there's a woman my age with a solo cup full 204 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: of Coke zero and we have a very pleasant conversation 205 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 1: for all of five minutes before what I already know 206 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 1: is going to happen happens. Someone from Firehouse approaches me 207 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: and asks me a weird question, Jamie, and I'm going 208 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: to call this guy Sam. He is a pianist who 209 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 1: immigrated to the US, and he had deemed me a 210 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,839 Speaker 1: selfie he took of us from the previous night while 211 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,200 Speaker 1: I was waiting for my uber outside the hotel and crying. 212 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: But he came up and he was like, you're Jamie, right, 213 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: Can I get a picture with you? And so I 214 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,560 Speaker 1: wiped the tears from my eyes and honestly looked kind 215 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: of cute in the picture. Anyways, Sam has been nice 216 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: to me, but again he has that proud hoser badge, 217 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,839 Speaker 1: and it's enough to sort of keep me at bay 218 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: a little bit for the moment it but he says, 219 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 1: good to see you again, how is your a g 220 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,440 Speaker 1: Sam has opted out of the elaborate toga as well, 221 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,320 Speaker 1: and he sort of just has like a white hand 222 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 1: towel draped over his neck to catch the black light, 223 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: and he offers me a hand towel too, And he 224 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 1: spends the next several minutes trying to convince me to 225 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: go back up to the Firehouse suite tonight, and I 226 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: hope understandably I express a little bit of nervousness at 227 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: going back upstairs to the fifth floor. But he doesn't 228 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: seem to understand why I feel this way, and he 229 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: asks me a number of times why you're not going 230 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,040 Speaker 1: to get hurt. You're not, And I thank him, and 231 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: I politely turned him down again, and so he backs 232 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:40,320 Speaker 1: off and recedes into the sea of genius togas. So 233 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,440 Speaker 1: throughout this party, by my count, seven people with Firehouse 234 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: ribbons approached me throughout the fifteen minutes or so that 235 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: I'm standing at the party. Two of them say we 236 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: just wanted to meet you and shake your hand face 237 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: to face. Another group of three tell me that what 238 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 1: happened at the party the previous night was not cool. 239 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: A hoser who's visiting from Sweden asks to take a 240 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,719 Speaker 1: selfie with me, which is a fairly common thing that 241 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 1: hosers asked for when encountering popular targets of the board 242 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 1: in real life. And I still can't really figure out 243 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,080 Speaker 1: if this is an act of straight up trolling or 244 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,319 Speaker 1: more of a white flag of like, look, we're just kidding. 245 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 1: In any case, I awkwardly decline. And this procession of 246 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 1: people who have refused to acknowledge me in the digital 247 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: space and look at me like an aquarium specimen in 248 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,959 Speaker 1: real life is very bizarre, But I have to keep 249 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: in mind that I'm more or less doing the same 250 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: thing to them. A lot of the Firehouse people and 251 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 1: I spend time kind of circling each other and reach 252 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,960 Speaker 1: no conclusions on first glance because nothing seems wrong with 253 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 1: the other person on site at least, and neither want 254 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: to be the first to tell the other that they 255 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 1: think the other is completely full of shit. So I've 256 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: come here to understand mentions better. But outside of a 257 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 1: few cautious conversations and a swipe to take my phone, 258 00:13:56,240 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 1: I'm really no closer to reaching any transformative conclusion on 259 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: the contradictory practices of Firehouse and the people inside of it. 260 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: Sam Way, It's about ten minutes before emerging again. This 261 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,319 Speaker 1: time with a different woman from Firehouse, and he says, 262 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 1: very earnestly, please, there's a private party upstairs for Firehouse, 263 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 1: not the one from last night. Invite only. I'll bring 264 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: you up. It's okay. And as the saying goes, if 265 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: a mentone asks you to enter an unguarded hotel room 266 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 1: full of people with dubious intentions, three times you go. 267 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: But before we go to the invite only American Mensa 268 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: Firehouse secret party, we've got to kick it back to 269 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: October in California. And the reason I know that if 270 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 1: a menton asks you to do something thrice, you must 271 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: do it, it's because I have fallen for this exact 272 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: thing before. So, like five million billion news cycles ago, 273 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: when I was first reporting on Firehouse, to top elected 274 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: members of American MENSA reached doubt to offer what sounded 275 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: like a good faith discussion about their safety practices and 276 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: context for the group that I had become the latest 277 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: target of. And in the original email reaching out, the 278 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 1: MENSA employee mentioned no less than three times that I 279 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: had joined the organization as a joke, but he did 280 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: assure me that they were concerned about how I was 281 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 1: being treated regardless, So here's kind of a pull quote 282 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: from this first email. We take very seriously the safety 283 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 1: and security of our members, and now that you've joined 284 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: for laughs or no, that includes your safety. Thanks. But 285 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,239 Speaker 1: this isn't for nothing. As we've discussed in past episodes 286 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: when we talk in October of last year, this concern 287 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 1: for safety is a big discussion at MENSA events because 288 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: considering the various allegations made surrounding the Indianapolis Annual Gathering 289 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 1: and the increasing skepticism about how carefully safety in an 290 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: in person capacity was treated by the organization, they were 291 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: on the offensive and MENSA officials were more sensitive to 292 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: this issue than usual, and it's warranted a public response. 293 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 1: A MENSA representative who I've met before, gave an interview 294 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 1: to Inverse in August of eighteen, and full disclosure, I 295 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: worked for Inverse in twenty sixteen and seventeen, but don't 296 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: know the writer who did this interview personally. But the 297 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: MENSA representative did this interview in August, right after the 298 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: Indianapolis Annual Gathering concluded, and here's what she had to say. 299 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: In this time, the hashtag me too, and being more 300 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 1: aware that respect for boundaries is important it's imperative that 301 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: these types of problems be reported immediately. So in October, 302 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: when we're exchanging these emails and a few hours away 303 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 1: from doing mushrooms for the first time, and I speak 304 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: to both members from like the cramped attic of someone 305 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 1: else's house, and at this time, the allegations about the 306 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,360 Speaker 1: Indianapolis annual gathering are not ones I'm yet aware of. 307 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 1: But these two employees are very honest about what's going 308 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 1: on in the organization, and they explain that the issues 309 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 1: surrounding the ethics of Firehouse had been a subject of 310 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: internal discussion a number of times over the years. And 311 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 1: now three months into me writing about MENSA, a few 312 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: other female mentions had reached out to me discussing the 313 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 1: circumstances of their eventual departure from MENSA because of discomfort 314 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 1: or harassment that they had experienced in Firehouse specifically. And 315 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:28,119 Speaker 1: so my main question for these reps in October was 316 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:33,200 Speaker 1: why the organization would officially sponsor an unmoderated group that 317 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 1: at its core appeared to pose a threat to safety. 318 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:41,200 Speaker 1: And I'm given the official history of the Firehouse schism 319 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: in MENSA because it's been a hot topic issue for 320 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 1: a number of years. So let's kick up some fairytale 321 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: music and start talking. Once upon a time, about five 322 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: years ago, there was one official American Mensa Facebook group 323 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: where mentions from all walks of life were free to 324 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,800 Speaker 1: right whatever they pleased, because at this time, the assumption 325 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:08,159 Speaker 1: was by the Mensa Committee that discussions would remain relatively civil, 326 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,679 Speaker 1: and as the politics of America became more polarized, so 327 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,120 Speaker 1: did the dynamics of this group, and members who were 328 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 1: only in the group for intellectual stimulation were concerned for 329 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:24,240 Speaker 1: the many underage mensines who qualified for and occasionally participated 330 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:28,040 Speaker 1: in the forum. So the secret Facebook groups of American 331 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:32,440 Speaker 1: Mensa went full Korea and split into one group would 332 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: be moderated and one group would not be. The moderated 333 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 1: group is called American Mensa Hospitality, and the unmoderated group 334 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 1: is American Mensa Firehouse. An American Mensa Firehouse immediately because 335 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 1: the source of great contention in Mensa on the whole, 336 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:55,200 Speaker 1: as well as immediately becoming the most active online community 337 00:18:55,359 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 1: in the organization by far. The moderated group is reserved 338 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:04,720 Speaker 1: mostly for group updates and light political discussion. Five years later, 339 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: I'm told on the phone in October, Firehouse is still 340 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 1: a source of controversy, but the group was still around 341 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:17,200 Speaker 1: because of its core community dynamics. The end nice story, right, 342 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 1: So that's the narrative I'm given, and I say on 343 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,199 Speaker 1: the phone, I guess I just don't understand why the 344 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: official mens A group would be okay with people threatening 345 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:30,400 Speaker 1: other members and not doing anything about it, because at 346 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: this time, I was still convinced that a cogent enough 347 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 1: argument and enough damning accounts about mass blockings and timidations 348 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 1: and threats would be enough for any reasonable organization to 349 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,880 Speaker 1: get rid of or at least better protect their own members. 350 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,920 Speaker 1: And it's here that I am surprised, because the argument 351 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,640 Speaker 1: made to keep Firehouse active, endorsed, and unmoderated has remained 352 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,880 Speaker 1: consistent from top mentions throughout my time there, and many 353 00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 1: of the administrators in question are actually active Firehouse members themselves. 354 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 1: One of the employees on the phone, who I'm going 355 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,879 Speaker 1: to call Amanda, explains that even though the tone of 356 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: Firehouse tends to be antagonistic, the community developed there takes 357 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: care of their own and you're not going to believe 358 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: this are very different in real life than they are online. 359 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 1: And in October, this is the first time I'm hearing this, 360 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 1: And on this call, Amanda shares an anecdote that is 361 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: repeated to me a number of times in the coming months, 362 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:32,400 Speaker 1: and it goes like this. It concerns one of the 363 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: only consistently engaged left wing Firehouse members becoming ill, and 364 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,360 Speaker 1: many of the right wing members who argue with him 365 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 1: online every day actually pitching in some of their own 366 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 1: money to alleviate his medical expenses on a go fund Me. 367 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: And Amanda tells me this same anecdote in person several 368 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 1: months later, and Katie Maga hat Girl shares a similar 369 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: story with me about the group at the annual gathering 370 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 1: in And this is one of the aspects of the 371 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 1: community that I find very fascinating, because that does speak 372 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 1: to their point. If you can argue with someone about 373 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:12,320 Speaker 1: the need for gun control all day, every day, insulting 374 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: each other viciously, but then still donate to the other's 375 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 1: medical expenses go fund me, what does that say about 376 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:24,399 Speaker 1: a community. It is a very bizarre dynamic that occasionally 377 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 1: these strange but positive things come out of. It's a 378 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: it's a strange anecdote and a strange tendency in a group, 379 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 1: and especially the first time I heard it kind of 380 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 1: gave me some some chilly, little grizzly food for thought, 381 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 1: But for the moment in October, the two mentions on 382 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: the phone assure me that discussions about Firehouse are ongoing 383 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,160 Speaker 1: in the organization and that I will receive an update 384 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 1: on the status of the group once further discussions are had. 385 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,960 Speaker 1: And at the time of this discussion, I've written two 386 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: columns about Mensa taking the test as a joke, gotten 387 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: a lot of backlash, and it seems like this call 388 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 1: might be the end of it all and could possibly 389 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,400 Speaker 1: end with something useful, which to me would be some 390 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 1: protections for members who have felt ostracized by the community 391 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:13,399 Speaker 1: previously and the perfect excuse for me to wash my 392 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: hands of the whole situation and kind of just move on. 393 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 1: And a few months later, I receive this follow up 394 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:23,200 Speaker 1: email from Amanda which says the Communications community is honestly 395 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 1: still struggling with the Firehouse view, as it is popular 396 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,360 Speaker 1: with so many members and a reason that they stay 397 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: a member. It is difficult to change, but it is 398 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,399 Speaker 1: unpopular and a stigma to some other members, and the 399 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 1: reason they wish to leave. Amanda tops off the email 400 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 1: by saying the MENSA Committee hasn't come to a conclusion 401 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,919 Speaker 1: regarding the group yet, but she invites me to the 402 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,719 Speaker 1: Double Tree and San Pedro for the Southern California Regional 403 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,120 Speaker 1: Gathering to discuss the matter in person if I want to, 404 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,120 Speaker 1: and as my policy is to do whatever I meant 405 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,600 Speaker 1: and asks me in an attempt to get to know them, 406 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 1: I accept this invitation, Amanda says in the email inviting me, 407 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,439 Speaker 1: why you see what some of us are like in 408 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,960 Speaker 1: real life? Gatherings can be a lot of fun, So 409 00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 1: transition sound effect. It's February and I'm at the Double 410 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,240 Speaker 1: Tree in San Pedro and I meet Amanda, and we're 411 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 1: not as I had assumed, having lunch at the hotel 412 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 1: or even really meeting in public at all. Amanda gives 413 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: me a big hug when we meet, and she leads 414 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,080 Speaker 1: me instead to her hotel room, where two other women 415 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,680 Speaker 1: are waiting at a table to speak with me over 416 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 1: water bottles and prepackaged cookies. It's very clear that this 417 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: meeting has been planned, but they're also busy as an event, 418 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 1: so all three women have a lot of work to 419 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 1: do at the gathering this weekend. So what results feels 420 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: like half open discussion, half mafio so confrontation. So while 421 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 1: the point of the meeting appears to be understanding where 422 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 1: I'm coming from, it's made clear to me fairly early 423 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 1: on that these powerful medicines have no intention of making 424 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 1: any alteration. Two American Mental Firehouse. One of the women 425 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: I'm sitting with is the same person who will later 426 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,760 Speaker 1: help run the gen Y suite at the annual gathering. 427 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 1: She's in her thirties and she's rocking her very cute 428 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 1: baby and a carrier. And the other person there is 429 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,880 Speaker 1: another long time member who I'm going to call Maggie, 430 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: and she is a tall, older woman with a day 431 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 1: job in I T And she wastes very little time 432 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: in telling me that she is one of the most 433 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,880 Speaker 1: active members in Firehouse of all time. So we begin 434 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,879 Speaker 1: by sort of rehashing how we got here and what 435 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 1: my current standing is in Firehouse. And at this point, 436 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,320 Speaker 1: like we've discussed in past episodes, what I'm able to 437 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,199 Speaker 1: see in this group had dwindled down to basically nothing. 438 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:45,160 Speaker 1: I had already won the most blocked poll by a landslide, 439 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,439 Speaker 1: and even discussions that had nothing to do with me, 440 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,880 Speaker 1: were completely unavailable, and Maggie was quick to point out 441 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: that while she is a prominent member of the group, 442 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,400 Speaker 1: she says that she does not subscribe to the blocking 443 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 1: and mass model of many of her peers, and I 444 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,159 Speaker 1: say cool, thanks. So the four of us start to 445 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 1: really dig into the safety concerns of the annual gathering 446 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 1: in Indianapolis the previous year, and this is the first 447 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: time the inconsistencies I felt developed within the group's firm 448 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: online isn't real life philosophy kind of start to manifest 449 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 1: in person. So in the next hour and a half 450 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,919 Speaker 1: I start to notice a couple different contradictions emerging. Amanda, 451 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,879 Speaker 1: who is the woman I had spoken on the phone 452 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 1: in October, who holds a high position in MENSA. She's 453 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 1: deeply concerned by the safety allegations from Indianapolis and says 454 00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 1: that the group is doing everything it can to ensure 455 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 1: security in the year's upcoming event in Phoenix. Immediately after 456 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,359 Speaker 1: saying this, she also expresses some doubt that at least 457 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: one of the women who alleged that her drink was 458 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,920 Speaker 1: drugged in Indianapolis was for certain a roofie, and that 459 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,480 Speaker 1: it may have been the way the member's medication was 460 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:59,080 Speaker 1: mixing with alcohol, and there was no actual Roofie. She 461 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,840 Speaker 1: also mentioned being bothered by the way that conversations about 462 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: safety are conducted mostly in online groups instead of in 463 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,320 Speaker 1: real life. She defends Firehouses community in a way I'm 464 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 1: beginning to grow alternatively confused by and used to, and 465 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,679 Speaker 1: she argues its value to a lot of mentions and 466 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: again one of those contradictions. Amanda and Maggie are very 467 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:25,359 Speaker 1: supportive of women having leadership roles and prominence within the 468 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,840 Speaker 1: MENTA organization, but they're also just as quick to dismiss 469 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 1: the women's only MENTA Facebook groups as overly reactionary and 470 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,879 Speaker 1: not worth participating in at all. Amanda says to me 471 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 1: at this meeting, there's a lot of badass women in 472 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,960 Speaker 1: this group. Most of the most amazing people I've met 473 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 1: in this group have been women. The other thing Amanda 474 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,920 Speaker 1: and Maggie share in common because the third gen y 475 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 1: woman doesn't speak up that much throughout the afternoon. The 476 00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,439 Speaker 1: other thing they have in common is a protectiveness of 477 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 1: Firehouse that I hadn't anticipated. While Maggie is a daily 478 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,720 Speaker 1: participant of the group, it's clear that It has some 479 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 1: sentimental value to Amanda as well, and she literally pumps 480 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,880 Speaker 1: her fist at one point when describing a previous thwarted 481 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 1: attempt to get the group shut down. The member who 482 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,400 Speaker 1: threatened me directly, which you can hear in all its 483 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,480 Speaker 1: glory in episode two. He's been spoken to officially and 484 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,920 Speaker 1: won't be allowed to post things like that moving forward, 485 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: which is good, and I appreciate that someone was spoken 486 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 1: to and all of this, but that sort of feels 487 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 1: like a drop in the bucket to me, considering how 488 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 1: many people have spoken to this group's volatility in the past, 489 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 1: and it's frustrating to hear that the only way to 490 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,879 Speaker 1: get the bare minimum taken was to inadvertently stir up 491 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,239 Speaker 1: some bad press about the group. It doesn't make you 492 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 1: feel like they care about you, does it. At this time, 493 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,959 Speaker 1: I had spoken to several people who had had terrible 494 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 1: experiences and tried to report them, and not even the 495 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,440 Speaker 1: bare minimum that had been done for me was done 496 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,160 Speaker 1: for them. So I bring these situations up. I recount 497 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 1: other members who have shared their bad experiences and lack 498 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,399 Speaker 1: of feeling protected by the organization, and I met with 499 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,360 Speaker 1: head Nods and they listen but no promises or real 500 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,320 Speaker 1: expressions of interest in any actions are taken, and I 501 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,879 Speaker 1: can say for sure now with the year's perspective, that 502 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,119 Speaker 1: truly nothing was done. And this time I try to 503 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 1: adjust my approach a little to get some changes implemented. 504 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,560 Speaker 1: Instead of the burn it down mentality that I went 505 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: towards the group with in October, I told them that 506 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 1: while I think the group is unhealthy and should not exist, 507 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: there should at very least be a single rule to 508 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 1: this unmoderated group that members cannot actively threaten one another. 509 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,719 Speaker 1: So instead of doing away with a group altogether, just 510 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 1: don't say you'll kill each other. And this has heard 511 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,479 Speaker 1: in the room in the general sense and then argued against. 512 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 1: Maggie is dominating the conversation from here on out, and 513 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 1: she explains that one of the members who was the 514 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,120 Speaker 1: most aggressive to her in firehouse ended up looking after 515 00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: her safety in real life at annual gatherings, and also 516 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: repeats the anecdotal go fund me stories that have succeeded 517 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 1: within the group. Phrases like really good guys is sort 518 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 1: of bandied about, and another plea that if I merely 519 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,960 Speaker 1: met these people in real life, as I was meeting 520 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,200 Speaker 1: with the three of them, I would understand and I 521 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 1: would be able to trust them. This conversation was very 522 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,640 Speaker 1: confrontational and very frustrating for me, because maybe it's over 523 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 1: the top to suggest that this meeting was called in 524 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 1: an attempt to get me to stop writing about the 525 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,200 Speaker 1: group altogether, operating under the assumption that putting a kind 526 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,520 Speaker 1: face to a name would, as the prevalent logic is, 527 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:40,520 Speaker 1: resolve every concern I'd ever had about MENSA to that point. 528 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: What I can say for sure is that this meeting 529 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 1: was not called to indicate any intended changes to protect 530 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 1: member safety, and in a lot of ways doubled down 531 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 1: on mensa's unwillingness to prioritize safety over online social engagement 532 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 1: that regularly broke Facebook community guidelines regarding hate speech and 533 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:02,400 Speaker 1: put a number of members at risk. Folks, the meeting 534 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 1: was bad and resulted in nothing, but it was interesting 535 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 1: to hear an in real life defense of a group 536 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 1: like this, because if you were to look at this meeting, 537 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 1: you would see four normal looking women at a table 538 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 1: having a discussion. These interactions with comments sections and hearing 539 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 1: what their jobs are, what their interests are, and what 540 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 1: their lives are like outside of this group is something 541 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,959 Speaker 1: that I think people should consider. More. That said, the 542 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,080 Speaker 1: meeting was bad, but at one point in our conversation, 543 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 1: Maggie talked about her day job in I t and 544 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,440 Speaker 1: she tells me that her co workers are by and large, 545 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 1: very intelligent people, and that she feels that most of 546 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 1: them could probably get into MENSA if they wanted. But 547 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 1: she laughs a little and says that she does not 548 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,959 Speaker 1: encourage them to join, though, saying that she thinks they 549 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 1: might find the way she talks in firehouse versus how 550 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: she talks in real life to be jarring. And the 551 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,239 Speaker 1: other two women are kind of laughing along as if 552 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,560 Speaker 1: they agree and and what we do with that. So 553 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 1: I tell them that I appreciate their time and for 554 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 1: going out of their way to meet with me, and 555 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: I'm offered a light discount to come back to the 556 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: gathering later in the weekend, and we're talking about the 557 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 1: annual gathering as well. Phoenix comes up and it's here 558 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:19,400 Speaker 1: that I first learned of the existence of the Firehouse suite. 559 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,400 Speaker 1: Maggie tells me she swears to God she'll go with 560 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 1: me and protect me if I don't feel safe there 561 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 1: but that no one was going to do anything to 562 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 1: me and that they're not bad people. And I tell her, sure, 563 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: I'll think about it, and spoiler alert, Maggie will not 564 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:37,360 Speaker 1: offer to protect me or communicate with me at the 565 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 1: annual gathering at all, most likely because I wrote about 566 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 1: this meeting and said what I felt then and still 567 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: feel now was the very bizarre intentions behind it. Also 568 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 1: worth mentioning while Maggie said she doesn't block people at 569 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,920 Speaker 1: the beginning of the meeting, which after doing a light 570 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,200 Speaker 1: fact checking after the meeting was over, I discovered was 571 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 1: completely untrue and that she's had me blocked for months. 572 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 1: I leave the hotel in San Pedro, I think about 573 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:10,120 Speaker 1: the incredible weirdness of this group, and I impulsively put 574 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 1: my annual gathering tickets on a credit card, because when 575 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,280 Speaker 1: a mens invites you to do something, you do it. 576 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 1: So let's go back to the party gang. It is July. 577 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,520 Speaker 1: It is night too of my time at the MENSA 578 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 1: Annual Gathering, so so tonight I'm not drinking and walking 579 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 1: to the firehouse suites stone cold sober. I can now 580 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 1: with presence of mind, confirmed that the stairs I'm getting 581 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,200 Speaker 1: from the hallways lined with Firehouse members are just as 582 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,960 Speaker 1: unsettling as they were when I was four beers deep. 583 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 1: The people i'm with our Sam, tall guy and a 584 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,640 Speaker 1: firehouse member I don't know, and they don't bring me 585 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 1: into the same cavernous suite as the night before this time, 586 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: and in fact, to Firehouse members loudly vocalize that they 587 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,280 Speaker 1: do not want me to go into that room, and 588 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: it's a little panicked. They're like no, and their eyes 589 00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,920 Speaker 1: are you know, darting towards me, and Sam assures them 590 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 1: that we were headed to the room next door where 591 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,320 Speaker 1: the invite only party is. So that's a sort of 592 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 1: alcohol taste testing that's taking place with invite only members 593 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 1: of Firehouse. So if you're keeping track, this is kind 594 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 1: of an exclusive group within an exclusive group within an 595 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: exclusive group. Doesn't make your head hurt at all. And 596 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 1: there's one older man whose messaged with me before, and 597 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,880 Speaker 1: he's from near where I grew up, and he's the 598 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,560 Speaker 1: only person in the hallway who seems happy to see me. 599 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 1: There's an older couple that grimaces and just kind of 600 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 1: shoves their way past me when they see my name tag. 601 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 1: So feeling very safe, Sam assures me that this party 602 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,240 Speaker 1: is going to be fun. And we walk into a 603 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: single hotel room with about fifteen people or so just 604 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 1: squashed inside, well lit this time, and I'm not two 605 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 1: steps into the room before someone offers me a glass 606 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 1: of home brewed mead. Sam says, this is j V Loftus, 607 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 1: and he's looking between me and mead Guy expectantly, and 608 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 1: mead Guy understandably appears a little weirded out at the 609 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,520 Speaker 1: forced nature of this meeting, and I'm right there with him, 610 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,759 Speaker 1: so I kind of awkwardly say I'm all good on mead, 611 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,240 Speaker 1: and before I can take another step, a full foot 612 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,560 Speaker 1: below me appears Katie in her infamous Maga hat, and 613 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,880 Speaker 1: even though she is a full foot shorter than me, 614 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 1: I'm very confident she could absolutely kick my ass. But 615 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 1: she says, hi, Jamie. She reaches up for a cautious 616 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,880 Speaker 1: hug and I reciprocate. Sam continues to talk do you 617 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,400 Speaker 1: know who this is? And he's kind of smiling between 618 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: the two of us, and Katie replies, Oh, I know 619 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 1: exactly who this is, and I mean, I would hope so, 620 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,240 Speaker 1: given the extensive writing I'd seen her do. She first 621 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,160 Speaker 1: is a little bit leary of my presence here at all, 622 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,840 Speaker 1: but she relaxes after we talk for a minute about 623 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 1: and you will never believe this how my a g 624 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,959 Speaker 1: is going. And from this conversation forward, she is extremely 625 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,800 Speaker 1: kind to me, and bearing in mind what she's written 626 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 1: about me in the past, she really surprises me here. 627 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what sort of discussion happened 628 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 1: in Firehouse regarding the bizarre debacle of the previous night 629 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:16,080 Speaker 1: where my phone had been taken, but Katie seems equally 630 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,160 Speaker 1: surprised that I am polite and I listened to her 631 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 1: and she warms up to me pretty quickly, and this 632 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 1: sounds very similar to her interactions with two. And I 633 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,240 Speaker 1: have a little bit of whiplash from the suddenness of 634 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 1: this change and attitude towards me, because, yeah, my mannerisms 635 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:35,640 Speaker 1: are subdued in real life compared to online, and my 636 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 1: insecurity and anxiety is more visible when in a physical 637 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:44,040 Speaker 1: room full of commenters instead of a screens distance away. 638 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 1: But I'm not that different of a person. There's a 639 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 1: persona and that's part of my job as a comedian, 640 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:55,960 Speaker 1: but it isn't the completely disparate experience that Firehouse members describe. 641 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: I would say most people aren't the exact same person 642 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,359 Speaker 1: they present on line, but they're not the exact opposite 643 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,520 Speaker 1: of who they present online, if that makes sense. But 644 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 1: it seems that Katie feels that my nervousness is interpreted 645 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,680 Speaker 1: as an admission that I am not who I said 646 00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,399 Speaker 1: I was. And we walk deeper into the room and 647 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,839 Speaker 1: the same kind of division surfaces in the room as 648 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,799 Speaker 1: it had at the party the night before. So some 649 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,880 Speaker 1: members are frowning and turning their backs to me to 650 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:29,960 Speaker 1: continue their conversation unhindered by my gaze. Others kind of 651 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:33,719 Speaker 1: look over with some curiosity, and Katie explains to me 652 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 1: that this party is an annual firehouse tradition where members 653 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:41,239 Speaker 1: bring alcohol specific to their hometown and everyone samples it. 654 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,759 Speaker 1: And after much are you drinking? Are you drinking? Are 655 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 1: you drinking? I just take a can of craft beer 656 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,880 Speaker 1: or something and we keep talking. Things we talk about 657 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,960 Speaker 1: include the East Coast, we're both from there, the annual gathering, 658 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:57,040 Speaker 1: we're both currently there, and the choice conversation of the gathering, 659 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,560 Speaker 1: and this podcast how your online persona did for from 660 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,400 Speaker 1: your real life one. Because in this moment, I am 661 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,200 Speaker 1: drinking beer with a woman in a maga hat who 662 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:10,000 Speaker 1: has directly called me a slimy, fraud and unfunny cunt, 663 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,480 Speaker 1: and is making good on the threat that she would 664 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,680 Speaker 1: quote see me in Phoenix unquote. She SIPs on her 665 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,080 Speaker 1: drink and tells me that she wasn't completely clear on 666 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 1: why people were upset with me before going after me 667 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,000 Speaker 1: online at all. She explains, I see someone fucking with 668 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,560 Speaker 1: my friends and says that some people in the group 669 00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:32,759 Speaker 1: interpreted her decision to post direct insults and threats to 670 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:37,439 Speaker 1: my Instagram was over complicating the situation. She says, as 671 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,399 Speaker 1: so many have before, that the people in Firehouse are 672 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,319 Speaker 1: so different online than they are in real life, and 673 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 1: that she was surprised at how friendly I was in person. 674 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,360 Speaker 1: I'm honestly surprised that she's friendly too, and try to 675 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 1: skirt agreeing with her assessment that presenting pleasant in person 676 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:57,800 Speaker 1: and being a vindictive online troll with something inherently normal, 677 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 1: because I don't think that. Instead, I agree that the 678 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,640 Speaker 1: tone of certain online writing can be difficult, and that 679 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 1: social media does obviously appear designed to encourage in fighting 680 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:13,080 Speaker 1: and harassment that meeting in person usually doesn't. And still 681 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:16,000 Speaker 1: I don't know that that's completely true, because after all, 682 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 1: half the room is treating me exactly the way they 683 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:23,439 Speaker 1: would online. Backs turned whispering among each other physically, if 684 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:27,240 Speaker 1: not digitally. Blocking me being brought up here was either 685 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 1: in olive branch or an act of trolling. I'm still 686 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,719 Speaker 1: not sure which, And my presence here at all is 687 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,640 Speaker 1: at least in part a result of the satire I'd 688 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 1: written on the group. Originally making a specific insult or 689 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,759 Speaker 1: threat towards a specific stranger is really hard to view 690 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,920 Speaker 1: as a misinterpretation of tone, because yes, we're being civil 691 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 1: to each other, and yes, I think that's an impressive 692 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,920 Speaker 1: feat given our digital history, but how different are we really? 693 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,040 Speaker 1: A few other women cautiously ask what maybe decided to 694 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,680 Speaker 1: come back to firehouse after the previous night, and mead 695 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:01,080 Speaker 1: guy returns. I tell Katie was curious to meet you, 696 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,600 Speaker 1: and I'm glad I came. And this is mostly true, 697 00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:07,319 Speaker 1: And this time I take the fucking mead and meat 698 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 1: guy immediately comes back with you, drink the meat, you 699 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,520 Speaker 1: put your name on the mead tag, and he hands 700 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,560 Speaker 1: me a sharpie and a wooden tag to put my 701 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,960 Speaker 1: initials on. I signed the meat tag, and I tell 702 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,600 Speaker 1: Katie that I'm gonna head back down to the gen 703 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,279 Speaker 1: Y suite because it's hot in here and I can 704 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,399 Speaker 1: feel a lot of latent hostility. But before I go, 705 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,920 Speaker 1: she says, let's take a pick together, girl, and I 706 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:33,920 Speaker 1: am nervous, intimidated, and tall guy less enough to agree 707 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,600 Speaker 1: this time. And this exact picture will be posted to 708 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,360 Speaker 1: Firehouse a few days later with the caption this is 709 00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:43,880 Speaker 1: my new friend Jamie Loftus, spurring over three hundred comments 710 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,640 Speaker 1: from members only, some of which I can see. Here's 711 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:50,200 Speaker 1: a random assortment. The Swedish woman who I hadn't taken 712 00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:53,239 Speaker 1: a selfie with, says you got a picture with her? 713 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,600 Speaker 1: She denied me that she owes the entire group and apology, 714 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,160 Speaker 1: which would go a long way, I am O. My 715 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,080 Speaker 1: personal opinion is that she somehow realizes that she sucked 716 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,359 Speaker 1: up with a group of people that she really would 717 00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,520 Speaker 1: have enjoyed hanging with, but can't figure out how to 718 00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:11,320 Speaker 1: make things right. Hey, guys, she's actually really nice in person. 719 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,080 Speaker 1: Whether it ends well or terribly, it's good to give 720 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,520 Speaker 1: people a chance. Real life differs from online drama. This 721 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,640 Speaker 1: is Katie writing in another comment, but on this night, 722 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,239 Speaker 1: Katie says that she wants to join me at the 723 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:26,759 Speaker 1: toga party downstairs, and so she, Sam and I leave 724 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,400 Speaker 1: the private party and go out into the hallway. Again, 725 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 1: Katie keeps hugging me and assures other firehouse members that 726 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,640 Speaker 1: I'm really nice, and she suggests that we go back 727 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,399 Speaker 1: into the larger suite where I was the previous night. 728 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:42,320 Speaker 1: She keeps saying, this is my new best friend. Jamie 729 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:46,120 Speaker 1: loved us, really, seeming to enjoy the attention that embracing 730 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,280 Speaker 1: the most hated member and mensa brought her. And again 731 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,640 Speaker 1: I say I'd rather not go into the main firehouse suite, 732 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 1: and again older members of the group agree and say 733 00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:59,160 Speaker 1: that's not a good idea. One guy tells me there's 734 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,400 Speaker 1: nothing in there you interested in, like there was like 735 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,319 Speaker 1: a dead body in there. And a few tense interactions 736 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,160 Speaker 1: with other hosers. Later, all I can see if Katie 737 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,320 Speaker 1: are the glowing MAGA letters at the Toga party across 738 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,800 Speaker 1: the room. And so I slip out of the hotel 739 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:18,440 Speaker 1: around midnight. So yes, my first night was a nightmare 740 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,520 Speaker 1: and my second night felt more like a Stepford wife 741 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,239 Speaker 1: switch in the video I record on my computer back 742 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,760 Speaker 1: at my Airbnb recabing the night, I say the phrase 743 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,560 Speaker 1: I don't fucking no no less than twenty times, and 744 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,160 Speaker 1: as I'm falling asleep in the ninety degree bedroom, it 745 00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:39,480 Speaker 1: occurs to me, I have not learned anything since I 746 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,839 Speaker 1: got here, and I wake up to take one last 747 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:48,480 Speaker 1: note and say, I actually think I've become stupider. So 748 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,800 Speaker 1: there you go. That's episode three of my year in Mensa. 749 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:56,080 Speaker 1: We have one part to go to really wrap up 750 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:59,880 Speaker 1: this hillacious nightmare. Thank you so much for listening. If 751 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,319 Speaker 1: you want to follow me online, you are welcome to 752 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:05,279 Speaker 1: do so at Jamie Loft just Help on Twitter at 753 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,680 Speaker 1: Jamie christ Superstar on Instagram. Thank you so much to 754 00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:12,279 Speaker 1: Sadie Dupui for writing the theme song to this podcast. 755 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:16,239 Speaker 1: She's at sad thirteen on all platforms. And I want 756 00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,120 Speaker 1: to thank the following people for lending their voices to 757 00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:23,640 Speaker 1: Mensa this week for this episode. They are Isaac Taylor, 758 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:28,360 Speaker 1: Anna Hosni, Sharine Lonny Unez, Daniel Goodman, Robert Evans, Sophie 759 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:32,719 Speaker 1: Lichterman and Jaquis Neil. See you next time on my 760 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:33,720 Speaker 1: Riam Mensa.