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Speaker 1: I'm cutting off my dysfunctional family and using the inheritance

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Speaker 1: to start fresh. I'm not giving my family a cent am,

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Speaker 1: I the asshole.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's kind of nice when you're leaving a

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Speaker 2: dysfunctional family to get some money to function. Yeah, from

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Speaker 2: that same family, I'm assuming. Yeah, that's pretty nice. Function

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Speaker 2: money conjunction, junction. What's your function?

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Speaker 3: Function?

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Speaker 1: It's to take the money and run. Yeah, that's my function.

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Speaker 1: This story actually comes from our subreddit r slash okop Show,

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Speaker 1: and it's posted by Panda Natural fifteen thirteen. Also, this

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Speaker 1: is written very well, so I appreciate you, Pandrin. Now

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Speaker 1: we love great writers in our subreddit. I twenty three female,

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Speaker 1: am the youngest in what can only be described as

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Speaker 1: a disastrous family. Oh god, my mother is a severe

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Speaker 1: alcoholic and has untreated bipolar disorder. Her explosive emotional episodes

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Speaker 1: and phases of withdrawal have become a constant fixture of

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Speaker 1: our lives. You know what I want to be fixtures

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Speaker 1: of my life? Oh?

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Speaker 3: Why do you bookshelves? Bookshelves?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, chandeliers. That is the isolhoholic moms, That is correct. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my father is virtually absent, like to say, like come

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Speaker 1: in on zoom meetings or something. What does that mean?

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Speaker 3: He's a sim.

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Speaker 1: He's a sim, virtually virgial. But when he does grace

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Speaker 1: us with his presence, he brings along a shadow of

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Speaker 1: his gambling debts and the company of questionable characters.

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Speaker 3: Thanks Dad.

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Speaker 1: My twin brothers twenty seven are their own brand of calamity.

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Speaker 1: One is spiraling in a devastating meth addiction, while the

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Speaker 1: other hasn't stepped outside in two years due to a

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Speaker 1: crippling gaming addiction. Gaming addiction, Bro, They're all addicted to

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Speaker 1: different stuff.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, Yeah, you're right.

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Speaker 1: Ope, he is addicted to posting on Reddit. Ooh better

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Speaker 1: than those things, admits this mayhem. I've been working two

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Speaker 1: jobs while also studying psychology and university. Let's co op,

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Speaker 1: get that money, bro. In spite of your whole family

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Speaker 1: being awful, you're freaking freaking rising to the engage.

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Speaker 3: You know what?

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Speaker 1: OP is?

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Speaker 3: Addicted to success?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Or the thought of bills? OPI hmm. I'm a

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Speaker 1: few months from graduating and have the chance to escape

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Speaker 1: this chaos. But here is the controversial part. My strange

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Speaker 1: grandmother recently passed away and surprisingly left me with a

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Speaker 1: sizeable inheritance enough to give me a fresh start far

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Speaker 1: away from my family and their issues. However, it also

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Speaker 1: feels like a lifeline I could use to help my family,

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Speaker 1: get them into therapy or rehab, slash pay off my

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Speaker 1: father's debts. Despite this, I am strongly leaning towards cutting

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Speaker 1: ties with them completely using this inheritance for my own

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Speaker 1: fresh start, therapy and continuing education. I love the prospect

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Speaker 1: of throwing myself back into the pit of my family's

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Speaker 1: dysfunctionality terrifies me, and I fear it will consume me

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Speaker 1: entirely if I don't distance myself. I mean, it sounds

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Speaker 1: like I don't know. I don't know how big this

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Speaker 1: inheritance is, but if any like millions of dollars, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if any amount of money is going to

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Speaker 1: solve what's going on with your family. Hundred I think you.

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Speaker 1: I think you need to get your your shit right.

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Speaker 2: You'd probably burn through it and be either at the

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Speaker 2: same place or worse.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would, OPI I would. I would cut

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Speaker 1: it in run one hundred percent. But the guilt is overwhelming.

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Speaker 1: Am I the asshole for considering leaving my family behind?

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Speaker 1: Given their struggles. When I have the means to potentially

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Speaker 1: help them, how can I ensure they get the assistance

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Speaker 1: they need while also safeguarding my own mental well being.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate any advice or similar experiences. Thank you, Reddit. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I want to know what all of you think. Put

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Speaker 1: your answers below. But John, what are your thoughts on

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Speaker 1: OP situations?

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Speaker 2: Manah, I'm very curious to hear everyone's thoughts because I

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Speaker 2: think this is definitely a tricky one. It seems like

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Speaker 2: this like thresholds of dysfunctionality where it's like it's just

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Speaker 2: a lost cause and maybe Op's helped in other ways

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Speaker 2: and uh, it just didn't pan out to anything. If

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Speaker 2: there is something like I think there could be situations

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Speaker 2: where some family members are like a family member could

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Speaker 2: be just before that, and it's tempting to do it.

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Speaker 2: But if we're seeing everything and understanding it as it is,

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Speaker 2: it seems like the best thing to do is.

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Speaker 1: To move on. Yeah. Well, I mean it's like, right,

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Speaker 1: the whole thing. If you know, you don't fill your

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Speaker 1: own cup, you're not gonna be able to fill anyone else's. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think OP needs to really take care of themselves. First, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then maybe later they can come back in and help.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't think spending all your money on

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Speaker 1: fixing your family. One I don't know if it'll even help.

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Speaker 1: And two I think it is just going to suck

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Speaker 1: your mental health in a way, in a way that

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Speaker 1: will prevent you from helping your family in the future.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because like one thing could do like let's say,

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Speaker 3: let's say op had an.

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Speaker 2: Extra like two hundred grand to split between them, right, like, hey,

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Speaker 2: use this to work on Like I'm I'm not gonna

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Speaker 2: get dragged into this, but I'll give you this to

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Speaker 2: do with your problems. That will probably only exacerbate whatever's

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Speaker 2: going on.

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Speaker 3: Actually the mathe addiction, Yeah, addiction.

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Speaker 1: Got an extra not a good idea, right, Yeah, I hope.

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Speaker 1: I think you got to get your your your shit together.

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Speaker 3: I think so. I think so keep doing you, keep building.

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Speaker 1: Yourself up, keep building yourself and also keep building a

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Speaker 1: relationship with us by maybe subscribing. Have you thought about that?

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Speaker 1: Have you thought about it before? You should? Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: consider subscribing and stop just like being such a tease.

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Speaker 1: How about you put a ring on and yeah, or

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Speaker 1: just thrust in with that little push stop, we'll see soon.

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Speaker 2: Do it today? Up by getting the girl I consider

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Speaker 2: a sister.

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Speaker 3: To me pregnant?

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Speaker 1: No, No, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, typically people who you you're like, hey, you're my sister.

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Speaker 3: You don't try and get them pregnant?

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Speaker 1: Do you know? It depends what state you're in.

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Speaker 3: You say you're my sister, are you trying to get

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Speaker 3: them pregnant?

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Speaker 1: It depends on the state. Every sense has to different

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Speaker 1: laws and rules and regulation. You know.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes some some some might call it family love.

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Speaker 1: Okay, an Alabama equivalent in like the Europe in the Europe.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was trying to think of other you know, honestly,

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Speaker 2: I'm sure. I'm sure it's like like the Boonies of every.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder, I wonder what the Alabama of Europe is.

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Speaker 1: All of our europe people, let us know what the

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Speaker 1: Alabama of Europe is.

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Speaker 3: Please, or wherever you're from.

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Speaker 2: If you're from a country that's not the US, let

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Speaker 2: us know what the Alabama of your country is.

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Speaker 3: We want to know.

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Speaker 1: And we're defining Alabama as the as a population that

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Speaker 1: on average sleeps with their sister.

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Speaker 2: That's the bar ladies and gentlemen, let us know. I'm

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Speaker 2: Sam I'm John. Let's get into the story. So this

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Speaker 2: is probably my biggest f up ever, which will haunt

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Speaker 2: me for the next eighteen years.

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Speaker 1: Ever Ever, well, I guess, like if you you know,

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Speaker 1: if it's the rammications of eighteen years, then it's probably

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Speaker 1: pretty bad.

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Speaker 2: Probably getting the person you consider a sister pregnant probably

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Speaker 2: a pretty big mistake.

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Speaker 1: I feel like on the list of no nos, they

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Speaker 1: don't teach you that in school, truly.

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Speaker 2: They don't say, Hey, all of the women in your

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Speaker 2: life you consider a sister, don't get them pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let the people, let's let's put this in the curriculum.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And like, also, you know, what does consider a sister mean?

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Speaker 3: Like you are.

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Speaker 1: It's like, like, let's just actingly my sister, which is.

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Speaker 3: Why why Yeah, it only makes sense.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to go through too many hoops.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I want to know what the f

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Speaker 2: bigger than that is. I mean, uh, maybe maybe killing

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Speaker 2: the president, Like if you kill the president, like.

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Speaker 1: Some countries are are rewarded for killing presidents. You know,

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Speaker 1: have you ever heard of like a successful coup? I

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Speaker 1: mean I know, I'm sure they've happened. Yeah, successful coups.

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Speaker 1: They're like, oh, we killed the president, now we're in power.

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Speaker 1: That's this is TikTok. This is not saying I'm going

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Speaker 1: to podcast Samuel going to kill the president. Old man

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Speaker 1: Time is probably gonna do that before.

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Speaker 3: That's right, exactly. Mother Nature is gonna do her dirty business.

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Speaker 4: Oh, Joel Badden falling off his bicycle again, this is

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Speaker 4: the last ride, everybody. You know, back in my day,

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Speaker 4: bicycles used to have one big tire and one small tire.

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Speaker 4: That's why I'm not used to these new fangled double

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Speaker 4: tired things.

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Speaker 3: I'll show you what riding off into the sunset really means.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let me uh, let me give you a

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Speaker 1: little little kiss on the lips. Now, kiss a hands

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Speaker 1: in Joe Baden coming at you.

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Speaker 3: You gotta love it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what handsy Joe Biden. Dude, he is the best

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Speaker 1: massages in the White House.

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Speaker 2: Oh dude, I heard those Those shoulders are relaxed.

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Speaker 3: Dude.

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Speaker 1: You know why Obama is such a great president Joe

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Speaker 1: Biden's massages. Giving him a little kiss on the cheek.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Uh, There's been a lot of talk about Joe Biden massages,

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Speaker 2: and I'm here to say that he gives the best

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Speaker 2: massages in the world.

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Speaker 1: That was Obama? Is that you I that was great.

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Speaker 1: That was a great impression. You know, we're out here,

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Speaker 1: he is out here.

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Speaker 2: Maybe maybe one day is out here we'll read We'll

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Speaker 2: read a story as Obama.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Wow. I'm just I'm always impressed when every like,

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Speaker 1: whenever John pulls out a new impression, I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: where did that come from?

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Speaker 3: Today? I fed up by getting the woman I consider

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Speaker 3: my sister pregnant.

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Speaker 1: That was okay, it very patriotic.

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Speaker 3: Please please don't deep take me.

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Speaker 2: Guys, this just feels so surreal and I'm not necessarily panicking.

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Speaker 1: Though not panicking. You should be right, Maybe you should be.

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Speaker 1: You should be this is maybe you should be. I

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Speaker 1: feel like the fact that you aren't panicking is what's

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Speaker 1: worth Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I'm twenty three male and my female friend, who I've

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Speaker 2: known for the most part of my life is currently

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Speaker 2: twenty two. The most part of my life, you know,

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Speaker 2: I guess most of my life, the most part, the

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Speaker 2: most part.

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Speaker 3: Of my life.

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Speaker 2: And I still remember us playing every single day as

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Speaker 2: little kids and hanging out almost every day as teenagers.

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Speaker 2: We often went on vacations together with either my or

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Speaker 2: her parents.

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Speaker 1: Huh.

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Speaker 3: But I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's just just like I'm not weird about yet.

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Speaker 2: First first I get the girl I consider a sister pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Then I got her mom pregnant.

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Speaker 1: That would be a story, that would be a story.

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Speaker 1: But like this is it? This like the classic like

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Speaker 1: girl next door kind of thing. Oh yeah, have you

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Speaker 1: ever had a crush on a family friend?

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Speaker 3: He was a boy, she was a girl. It couldn't

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Speaker 3: be any more obvious, couldn't.

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Speaker 1: It couldn't.

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Speaker 2: And it actually, you know, this story might be the

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Speaker 2: story of that song.

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Speaker 1: Because I think it is the song of the summer.

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Speaker 2: Fitting pretty well. She was sort of like the sister

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Speaker 2: I never had, sort of.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to come out that they're related, you know,

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Speaker 1: I I'm done with this.

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Speaker 3: Sort of let's stop playing the games.

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Speaker 1: Don't playing against.

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Speaker 3: I'm tiptoeing around the issue.

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Speaker 1: Okay, ancestry dot com find your twenty three and me

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Speaker 1: and actually give us the deets, the results, the tea,

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Speaker 1: none of this fake tea, none of this stemo.

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Speaker 2: And people are now hearing that I got her pregnant.

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Speaker 2: It feels like it's almost illegal.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of almost.

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Speaker 2: We'll see a few months ago, I was at her apartment,

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Speaker 2: both of us super wasted, and yeah, it somehow just happened,

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Speaker 2: if you catch my drift. Now, how the heck did

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Speaker 2: she get pregnant? I know there are a few of

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Speaker 2: you who even get pregnant on birth control, but never

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Speaker 2: thought it would happen to us who defunk it.

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Speaker 1: You never think it happens to you.

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Speaker 2: Then you know, you always think it's gonna just be

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Speaker 2: some some random person on a Reddit story.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, never random person is you?

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Speaker 2: She took five pregnancy tests and one week later went

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Speaker 2: to the gynecologist, who confirmed she is pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, I like, I wonder why they didn't hook

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Speaker 1: up earlier, Like, if they're both like into each other

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Speaker 1: and they've known each other for so.

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Speaker 2: Long, I think I think we'll get more a little

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Speaker 2: more insight into into that. At the end of the story,

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Speaker 2: we both couldn't bring ourselves to terminate the baby, so

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Speaker 2: we're keeping it. We're financially stable, so I don't think

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Speaker 2: it will be a problem. There we go, salute my

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Speaker 2: guy becoming parents.

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Speaker 3: Here we go life's next great adventure.

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Speaker 2: After accidentally getting the girl considered a system to be pregnant.

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Speaker 2: We're planning on telling our parents this evening. Now, this

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Speaker 2: is so awkward, since they've seen me grow up with her.

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Speaker 2: The only one who's been shipping us since day one

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Speaker 2: was her grandma. Whoa dude, MEMA's MEMA's freaking freaking mimas.

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Speaker 3: No, man, they know it's good.

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Speaker 1: You know, have your granny call me up now.

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Speaker 2: I still can't believe I'll have to spend eighteen years

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Speaker 2: of my life, well not even eighteen years if it's

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Speaker 2: a life commitmentl.

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Speaker 1: I mean more, it's like your kid's always your kids

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Speaker 1: for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for those of you suggesting to me to get

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Speaker 2: a paternity test. Yes, she even told me that she

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Speaker 2: doesn't mind if I'm doubting that the child is mine,

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Speaker 2: since the scenario is somehow unlikely. She told me that

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Speaker 2: she didn't sleep with another guy for the last two months.

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Speaker 2: I'll be taking a paternity test, but I'm already ninety

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Speaker 2: nine percent sure the child is mine and there's that

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Speaker 2: pate who Okay, guys, I just went to her parents' house.

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Speaker 2: We actually wanted to go in the evening, as I said,

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Speaker 2: but the sooner the better. I guess I was really nervous.

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Speaker 2: Her dad was working in the garden and her mom

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Speaker 2: was cleaning around the house.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, there's said, Okay, I just realized that we're like,

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Speaker 1: we're oh my god, we're telling the parents. This is

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Speaker 1: crazy diving in Oh my god. After thirty minutes, everyone

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Speaker 1: was gathered in the kitchen, so we thought a better

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Speaker 1: opportunity wouldn't come, not like the opportunity that already came.

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Speaker 3: My friend, Hey, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: We told them and I could see the horror in

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Speaker 2: their eyes. Oh god, I don't know, but they seemed

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Speaker 2: kind of happy, but also shocked.

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Speaker 1: They're like, we wanted this to have it the whole time, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but but not yet.

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Speaker 3: Probably her mom twenty two and twenty three.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's pretty yeah, it's pretty young. Yeahah yeah.

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Speaker 2: Her mom started tearing up, so I guess she's either

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Speaker 2: happy or disappointed. Her dad asked why we didn't tell

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Speaker 2: them that we were dating, and my god, was that

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Speaker 2: such an awkward moment when both of us didn't reply

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Speaker 2: and gave him the old awkward silence you know when

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Speaker 2: you slip on a banana peel and you ding down

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Speaker 2: just loots see through the pants and everything. They were

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Speaker 2: asking us a bunch of questions, and we even called

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Speaker 2: her grandma, telling her that her prediction was right. That's amazing.

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Speaker 2: Grandma's now, Grandma's now. We made up an excuse and left.

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Speaker 2: Later on in the car, she gave me a kiss

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Speaker 2: and told me that she was proud of me. The

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Speaker 2: whole drive, her hand was resting on my thigh, Like,

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Speaker 2: does this mean she likes me that way?

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Speaker 1: Does dope? You really say that? Yes? Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: yeah she likes it.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to misinterpret anything to make things get worse.

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Speaker 1: Well, you have a kid, you don't need to be

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Speaker 1: quiet anymore. Just like be upfront. It's not a first date. Well,

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Speaker 1: I guess it kind of is low key though.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is in a way. In a way, she's

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Speaker 2: a very very kind person in general. So a bunch

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Speaker 2: of guys always thought she liked them. Meanwhile, she was

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Speaker 2: only being nice. And there's one final update.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let's hear it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, guys, here it is. I discussed everything with her

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Speaker 2: that needed to be discussed. We're planning on moving in

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Speaker 2: together when she's six to seven months pregnant, and we'll

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Speaker 2: see how it works.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Roller coaster, dude. Yeah, exciting, exciting, You're gonna be

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Speaker 1: a dad opie.

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Speaker 2: We both admitt into having feelings for each other, so

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Speaker 2: we'll see where it goes and leave our relationship. How

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Speaker 2: it is best friends who live together and hook up.

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Speaker 3: I guess OPHI ohoo pee? How I met your mother? Serious?

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Speaker 1: Season forty.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for all the encouragement, and I lied because there's

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Speaker 2: one final update. I find it sort of funny how

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Speaker 2: people are actually believing that I was oblivious to her

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Speaker 2: liking me, which I actually wasn't.

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Speaker 1: Haha.

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Speaker 3: Sounds like it was.

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Speaker 1: Sound like it was sounds like you're going to cover

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Speaker 1: your tracks, boyo, for being a nerd.

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Speaker 2: Well, maybe a bit realizing that she's been dropping hints

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Speaker 2: since we were sixteen.

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Speaker 1: Since you were sixteen. It's a lot of hints, dude,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of mishints. The final sentence is sweet.

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Speaker 1: The best feeling is to find a best friend in

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Speaker 1: a lover, and I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much

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Speaker 1: as I love her. Damn, that's cute, that's adorable. Get

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Speaker 1: that shit away from me, though. Congrats are getting your

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Speaker 1: sister right away from me. Don't make me sad. Don't

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Speaker 1: make me sad.