1 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:10,880 Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, Welcome back to Katie's Crib. In this episode, 2 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: we're going to be talking about postpartum blues and depression. 3 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: Chances are that you or someone close to you has 4 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: dealt with this subject in some sort of way. It's 5 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:24,280 Speaker 1: a very, very difficult topic and it's important that we 6 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: are open and we discuss it. And it is crucial 7 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: to know that if you are struggling or someone you 8 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: know is struggling with postpartum depression or blues, that you 9 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,840 Speaker 1: are not alone and that there are resources and people 10 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,919 Speaker 1: out there to help you. We're going to dive in 11 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 1: and talk about it first with Casey Wilson, who is 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 1: a very good friend of mine. She is part of 13 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: my mom village. She and I went to Ny You 14 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 1: together what seems like ages ago and always played the 15 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: dude roles in a bunch of different Shakespeare plays. After Casey, 16 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: we have Lucy rim Alaur who is a marriage and 17 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: family therapist in Los Angeles, and she's going to help 18 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: put things in perspective and help us with how we 19 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: can talk about postpart and blues and depression. So let's 20 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: get started. Thank you so much. We are here at 21 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib. In Albie's playroom, talking with my dear friend 22 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: Casey Wilson. Does people know that it's Casey Rose Wilson. 23 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: You know, my name is a source of confusion for 24 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: me and everyone. My real name is Katherine Rose Wilson. 25 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,040 Speaker 1: What but my parents called me Casey since I was 26 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,839 Speaker 1: a baby, I didn't know you were Katherine. You guys 27 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: f y Casey Rose Wilson or Casey Wilson or Katherine 28 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,559 Speaker 1: Rose Wilson. And I went to and y you together. 29 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: I've known each other since we were doing male parts 30 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 1: in Shakespeare plays. Why aren't you and I always do 31 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: in the male parts? Because we were super down and 32 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: it's yeah, it's right. I was both upset by it 33 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: and compassionate to the casting for sae Um. So yes 34 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: your name tell us, Oh, there's nothing more to say. 35 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: But then I got married and now I'm Casey Casp. 36 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: And every single piece of documentation says twined different things, 37 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: like one's Catherine Wilson, one's case Cas is Casey Casp 38 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: your stage name? God, no, no, it's my like weather anchor, Hello, 39 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: Casp order Um. I could talk for seven hundred thousand 40 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: years to Casey Wilson about her life. People are like, kid, 41 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: we don't need to hear anymore about her name. It's 42 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: gonna be we're going to talk about today. Um is 43 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: postpartum depression and shift and a quick left turn at 44 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: the postpartum depression. Um, I know, tell us quickly, like 45 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: about the time right after you gave birth to your 46 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:43,079 Speaker 1: first son. Did you have postpartum depression with your first son? 47 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: Casey is now a mom of two. I did a 48 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: form of it, but nothing like with my seconds. I definitely, 49 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 1: I mean was it depressed, absolutely, but I was. But 50 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: this term that women have of like, oh, like I 51 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: found myself even qualifying. I didn't have postpart and depression 52 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 1: after Albi was born, but I had post I had 53 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: baby blues. I had the baby blues. I was crying 54 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,679 Speaker 1: every day out of nowhere. I was cry laughing and 55 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: running to like wood floors and peeing on them because 56 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,959 Speaker 1: I couldn't control my bladder. It was a nightmare. Oh yeah, 57 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: yeah that happened. Um, so we could just go there 58 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: and uncomfortable. Um. But so there was a drastic difference 59 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,839 Speaker 1: between how you felt after your first son and after 60 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: your seconds. Not drastic, which I was so unprepared for 61 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: because I kind of chalked a lot of it up 62 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: to like, I'm a new mom, my mom had passed. 63 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 1: I feel so much guilt going back to work. I 64 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: don't know what I'm doing. I kind of the first time, 65 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: the first time, I'm like, all that's at play, That's 66 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: what this is, I thought, because to be honest, I'm 67 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: not a very depressive person, although I mean I really am, 68 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: but I've been keeping it at bay and yeah, yeah, 69 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: and I do think like at least what having the 70 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: diagnosed with depression before pregnancies, not only after my mom passed, 71 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: so it has been pretty circumstantial. But then what I 72 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: have learned not to jump to ahead of ourselves, but 73 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: like the hormones, it up a lot of things that 74 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: are lying dormant for for women when they have kids. 75 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: And just so you know, also a menopause, so we 76 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: have that to look forward to, Like those huge hormonal shifts. 77 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: It's like cleaning out an attic. Like things come up 78 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: and a lot of people are diagnosed with even more, 79 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 1: you know, different different things come up for menopause and 80 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: for pregnancy. Pregnancy, UM, so can you walk me through 81 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: then let's say your second birth? UM? Can you walk 82 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: me through the first days after he was born, and 83 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: like how you felt? Was it immediately like super super sad, 84 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: not being able to get out of bed, like hearing 85 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: him cry, not wanting to care about him, not feeling 86 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: like yourself, Like what are what are the varying degrees 87 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 1: of Like, yeah, well, I think it started as I 88 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: got pregnant, which I didn't even know that was a thing, 89 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 1: which is I believe it's called perinatalum, which is depression 90 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: while you're pregnant. And I had that my first but 91 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 1: I just thought, you know, you're uncomfortable, it doesn't feel good. 92 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: But I absolutely suffered through the second pregnancy to a 93 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: degree of magnitude that was pretty shocking. I thought during 94 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: the pregnancy, yes, and I had a hard pregnancy. But 95 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: then and this sounds insane, but at one point, because 96 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 1: of his heart, I had to I was having like 97 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: a little cup of coffee and had to go off 98 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: all but like cold turkey, and for whatever reason, detoxing 99 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: off of that caffeine that I always have had a 100 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: cup a day. It sent me into I mean, I 101 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 1: truly can't even express like having a toddler. I felt 102 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: like I could never wake up. It felt like I 103 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: was like detoxing because you're running after your two three 104 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: year old. Now you're not having coffee, and I just 105 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: felt like every single thing had been taken from me. 106 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: And I was like, that's truly like the only thing 107 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: I feel I have. And they're like, you can't exercise, 108 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,040 Speaker 1: you can't do this. I'm eating so much. He was had, 109 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: the baby was had like a heart murmur, and so 110 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 1: there was just like all I was like, the only 111 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 1: things that have been making me feel better are exercise 112 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: and coffee and yeah, yeah, So it just felt like 113 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 1: I was being tested, not never towards my son, and 114 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 1: I feel so badly actually, like now that I've had 115 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: and I always apologizing to him because none of it 116 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 1: struck to towards him. I know, I get that I 117 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: feel the same way that It is this sense I 118 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: think when you're a woman that if you are struggling 119 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,919 Speaker 1: with baby blues, postpartum depression, anything in between, whatever you 120 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: want to call it or label it, there's this sense 121 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: of guilt. I know, because I felt like people would 122 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,480 Speaker 1: ask me, like, you know, I would have no problem 123 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: handing him off to the night nurse like every night 124 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: because I was exhausted, and I didn't care, Like I 125 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: was so like, who is this stranger in my house? 126 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 1: And what did I do to my life? For the 127 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,679 Speaker 1: first couple of weeks. Um, and I say that so openly, 128 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh God, one day he's going to hear it. 129 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: But it wasn't him. I didn't know him, Like, I 130 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: just didn't know what I was like, he's a stranger 131 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: to me. He was like I never felt that immediate connection. 132 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,480 Speaker 1: I didn't. It took me a while for that to build. Um. 133 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: I had someone I took a baby class here in 134 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: l A. And I think a woman described it. She 135 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: just said, this really sort of like hippie, dippy dula mom, 136 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,160 Speaker 1: who you think would be like the the the definition 137 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: of falling in love quickly with her baby. She said, 138 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: I had postpartum depression. I had to go on medication 139 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 1: pretty early on. And someone told me which stuck with her, 140 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 1: which then she passed on to me, which is it's 141 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: like love. Sometimes it's love at first sight, and sometimes 142 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: it's a slow burn. And that's how it was for 143 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: me with myself. It was a total slow burn. And 144 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 1: I've met a lot of moms who was even slower 145 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: than me, Like I think I kind of started to 146 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: bond with him. In about six eight weeks things started 147 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: looking up and I started to kind of slowly fall 148 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: in love with him. But I know women who told 149 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 1: me it's taken them a year. Also, you're not sleeping. 150 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: I mean every single thing, the chips are down, like 151 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: everything is working against too truly to then be producing 152 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: this happy feeling every second. So what when did you 153 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: realize that something was off in comparison to your first pregnancy, 154 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: And did you as soon as you knew that something 155 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: was maybe different than your first time around, what were 156 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: the actions you took. Yes, I had gone off so 157 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: loft when I got pregnant the second time, thinking well, 158 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: I'm sure i'll feel fine. You know, I'll feel good pregnant. 159 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 1: So I wasn't on anything and that was a complete mistake. 160 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 1: I should have stayed on it through the pregnancy. Or 161 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: can you do that? Yes you can, You absolutely can't. 162 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: The one they don't totally recommend, although I never want 163 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 1: to take anyone's options away from them as well, beutrin 164 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: because it's more of like a which I'm actually on now, 165 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: which more of an upper and it suppresses um, your appetite, 166 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: so they don't really want that for you to be 167 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: like not eating prenant but so loft and everything. I mean, 168 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: there's some people have different thoughts about it, but it's 169 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: also like, well, if you're really depressed, it's so much 170 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: better for you to take something. And I mean that's 171 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: also stressed on a baby, And like I could give 172 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,599 Speaker 1: a fuck about me, Like when people are telling me 173 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: they're on something, like God bless you, Like I hate 174 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: when you know all this. Obviously you want to check 175 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: with your doctor, but I yeah, I have so many 176 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,719 Speaker 1: dear friends who are just like, yeah, I need to 177 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: stay on this. Their babies cannot be more happy and 178 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: healthy and you know, and it saved them that saying 179 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: happy mom, yes, and that was just stupid, So that 180 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 1: that was one thing. It's like I wasn't on anything. 181 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 1: I had the baby with an amazing birth. Both my 182 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: births have been amazing. Like every single thing before it 183 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: an AFT has been disastrous. I had a similar thing. 184 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,559 Speaker 1: I spent all this time preparing for the labor so scared. 185 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 1: Remember you were so afraid of that. My labor was 186 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: so dope, not a thing, and the real ship storm 187 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 1: set in the first night I got him home, where 188 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, this is this is 189 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:27,959 Speaker 1: a nightmare. This is the hardest thing I've ever done 190 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: in my entire life, like by far, by far, So, 191 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: how did you feel that this one was different? It 192 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 1: was just I actually, and I will say I don't 193 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 1: know that I didn't feel that like instant love with 194 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: my first, but I so felt it with my second 195 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: to a level that was shocking. I was like, despite 196 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 1: everything I've been like going through and I've never wanted 197 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 1: a pregnancy to end so much, and I had him 198 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 1: a month early because I had this liver disease. Whatever 199 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: cool stastes he comes out. I'm like, this is the 200 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 1: completion of my family. This is my angel, Like, this 201 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 1: is my Wow, so you felt love the first I 202 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 1: was like, this is my little angel, nugget, and I 203 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: have continued to feel he's like my little angel. And 204 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,719 Speaker 1: obviously I'm so in love with my first one too, 205 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: but this was so different. And then I was like, Okay, 206 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 1: I'm chalking it up to like again, I'm so I'm 207 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 1: used to now being a mom. I'm not dealing with 208 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: the identity crisis on top of it. So I'm thinking 209 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be good, like that this is going to 210 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: go away, and that's a large part of it, is 211 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:23,280 Speaker 1: just like you're also lost your complete single person identity. 212 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,080 Speaker 1: So then I'm like doing pretty good, almost too good, 213 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: which was again another sign, and I said, I'm like 214 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: writing very I don't know that, so you were really 215 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: I'm flying high, I'm feeling great. I was like the 216 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: three days that I was a possible, like these are 217 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: the best days in my life. I'm like ordering case 218 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: Ada's and loving life what And I felt so good? 219 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: And then look was I in hindsight? Was that the 220 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 1: viking in from my birth? I don't know, but I 221 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 1: was feeling so good, and I remember talking to my girlfriend. 222 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,000 Speaker 1: I think it was like two weeks out, you know, 223 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: like on the fourth day, you know, things started to 224 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: slow lose, like the roller coasters like tipping slowly and 225 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: thechine is really so I'm like something's not right here. 226 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 1: But I'm like know, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good 227 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,079 Speaker 1: because I was so like pleased on West as we happening. 228 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: And then I remember talking to my best girlfriend from 229 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 1: Virginia on the phone and I literally remember the moment 230 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: I hung up the phone with her, and I was 231 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: like everything has gone downhill. Like in one second, I 232 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: was like the bottom like dropped out and it was 233 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: so it was very dark. I have to say. It 234 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 1: just plunged me into something that I truly have not 235 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: ever experienced before. Like, yes, depression, and I think that's 236 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 1: been covered, you know, but also a lot of paranoia 237 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: and anxieties where like I'm looking and I still sort 238 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: of have this as a new mom, but like strange things. 239 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: I'm driving, I see a truck and I see it 240 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:43,079 Speaker 1: exploding and things happening like if I see a person walking, 241 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,800 Speaker 1: I see me hitting them and then like rolling up 242 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,960 Speaker 1: on the windshield and I have that. Yeah, and I 243 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 1: think a lot of that dark well, I think whenever 244 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 1: there's like like I think life is so cyclical and 245 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,080 Speaker 1: when you're now you've created new life and now all 246 00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: of a sudden, all you're thinking about is death and 247 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 1: like horrible things. For some reason, that's how I go 248 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 1: as well. It's super dark to admit it, but like, yeah, 249 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 1: and I think you know, some of it is also 250 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: my mom had passed away about ten years ago, and 251 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 1: nothing has kicked up that grief like getting married. Even 252 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: then my mom wasn't like the type that would be 253 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: like planning the wedding with me, so you know, she 254 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: was great, but it's this huge feminist she wouldn't be 255 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,560 Speaker 1: like getting in the details with me. So it's kind 256 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 1: of like that wasn't as as as facing like motherhood 257 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 1: without a mom was also just it has been unbelievable 258 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,680 Speaker 1: and I don't even know would it have been better? 259 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 1: You know, we all fight with her moms. Like you 260 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: you painted as though like if I had this, I'd 261 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: be okay, but it really hit me with the second 262 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: one and I was like, I feel like I'm behind glass. 263 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: That was the strangest feeling is I'd be talking to 264 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 1: my husband and talking to friends and I couldn't get 265 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: to them and they're saying things to me, and normally 266 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: I can read people, okay, I couldn't connect to them. 267 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: I didn't know was I landing something, were they saying something? 268 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: And my psychia just said, it's like this fog that 269 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: sets in and that's a major symptom of postpartum, is 270 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,720 Speaker 1: this hovering above reality fog, and like glass between you 271 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 1: and the world is a big component, so you feel 272 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,719 Speaker 1: like you're outside of your body. You feel like you're 273 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 1: outside are looking in you feel like you can't, like 274 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: I'm having real connections to people. You're judging at all, 275 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 1: or you're like yeah, and similar to what you said, 276 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,560 Speaker 1: Like as much as I loved maybe, I'm like, I 277 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: see him over there, and I want to go and 278 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:30,319 Speaker 1: be doing all these things, but I simply cannot, Like 279 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: I can't even get out of the room or the bed, 280 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 1: like I don't know what's happening. Did you have that 281 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: could you not get out of bed? Yes? Pretty much? 282 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 1: And so I went to the psychi just right away. 283 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 1: I'm not one to ever suffering styles people was like, oh, 284 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: I suffered for you. I'm like, I suffered one night, 285 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 1: and that's super brave and that's super everyone says that. 286 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: What I'm like, it almost seems like you didn't have 287 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: an option, like you felt like you had no there 288 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 1: was like I have to get help immediately otherwise I'm 289 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,439 Speaker 1: not going to survive. I'm not going to Surve's not 290 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: going to survive if my husband's not going to survive this. 291 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 1: If anything, I think it was rougher on him. He 292 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 1: was just so like and we've we've also grown up 293 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: so differently where I grew up with no money and 294 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,559 Speaker 1: zero help for my parents, and he grew up with 295 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: with love, a ton of money, live in help. So 296 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: his whole fixed to things. And this is out of 297 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 1: love and it's not not coming from a place of 298 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 1: being entitled or trying to like just like like, who 299 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 1: can we bring into help? Can we get a night nurse? 300 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 1: Can we get more hours on the table? Who can 301 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: we bring into help you feel better? And that? But 302 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: I'm like it actually made me feel worse because I'm like, Wow, 303 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: I'm hearing someone like playing with my kids in the 304 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: other room and I can't get to them. It was 305 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 1: like such a horrible feeling. I'm like, I want to 306 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: be there, but I simply cannot. I couldn't even watch TV, 307 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 1: like I couldn't focus on it. But then I kept 308 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: I was like listening to Madman's which I'd already seen, 309 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 1: but when John Hamm or his character is like falling 310 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 1: in the beginning, I was truly like, oh there, I 311 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 1: am like that is me. And then I went to 312 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 1: the psychiatrist and it was a lot of all in air, 313 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 1: but the good ones of trying different drugstradications and did 314 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 1: they recommend that right away? For you. Did you know 315 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 1: that that was what you wanted to do? And she 316 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: gave me a questionnaire and she was just like, I 317 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 1: mean she saw me too. I was crazed. I had 318 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: a screaming match with her secretary and she and I 319 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 1: have had a difficult relationship from the beginning. I've had 320 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: to send her flowers and I scame to her again 321 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 1: and then like a lot has happened, and I told her, 322 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, I think I've taken out my entire experience 323 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 1: on you, as like I've predicted onto you because I 324 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 1: could never get to the doctor because you have to 325 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: go through her right off the bat. I'm in the 326 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 1: waiting room and she's like it's going to be like 327 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 1: a twenty minute wait, and I'm like, I don't have 328 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: one minute to be sitting here. And it was just wild, 329 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: so I think, but he was when my saying you 330 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: really don't have control of your hormones like I and 331 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 1: your response like it's so out of control, like so 332 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 1: you screaming at somebody in a waiting the room and 333 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 1: that's like not you, Like I know, I mean that 334 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 1: is like me, but no, it really wasn't. And she 335 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,840 Speaker 1: just looked at me, and she said, you're not here. 336 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 1: I just described everything, and she was like it was 337 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 1: very cut and dry. She's like, these are classic symptoms, 338 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 1: and she said something interesting. She's like, they have to 339 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 1: be clamped down immediately because it's kind of like it's 340 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 1: almost like a disease, like if you think of it, 341 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: like you have to take antobiotics right away, or it 342 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 1: just gets worse. She's like, whatever, and that is if 343 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 1: anyone is listening and feeling anything, go immediately, because it 344 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 1: only gets worse. She said that there has not been 345 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: one instance that it's ever gotten better without medication, truly. Now, 346 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 1: maybe there's the yogas, maybe there's this, isn't that that, 347 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: But I think if you're in the throes of it, 348 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: you're not going to even get to a yoga class 349 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: unless you're taking it, and you couldn't even imagine getting 350 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: yourself to a plan. I don't mean to put people 351 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 1: off by being such a proponent of medication, but I 352 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 1: truly haven't seen and I'm in like a postpartum group 353 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: on Facebook, like I haven't seen anyone get out of 354 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 1: that hole without medication and just get yourself off the 355 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: bottom enough to take then I'm taking a walk. Then 356 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 1: I'm doing all the things that well meaning friends are like, 357 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: you're just my oh my god. My one girlfriend had 358 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 1: a baby after me brings over coffee as cheerful as 359 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,040 Speaker 1: can be. She she goes, you see some fresh air, buddy, 360 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 1: And I was like, if I could kill I got 361 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,879 Speaker 1: one text, which I've talked about in the podcast, that 362 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: said how blissed out are you? And I literally threw 363 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,400 Speaker 1: my fucking phone across the room and I was like, 364 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: what lists are you speaking of? Like I'm in the 365 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 1: throes of hell right now, Like i don't know who 366 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,200 Speaker 1: I am. I'm sitting on a donut, I'm in a diaper, 367 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,280 Speaker 1: in my own blood, I'm having slept in days and 368 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:30,160 Speaker 1: days and days. I mean, like, you just people. My 369 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: mom has said to me over and over again. I 370 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,679 Speaker 1: told you, I told you how bad it was, and 371 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: I just didn't listen. And you just kind of can't 372 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 1: know until you're there. How was besides um your husband 373 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: just wanting to fix the situation once medication was involved 374 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,959 Speaker 1: and it was diagnosed that this is what you were 375 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: struggling with and that this time was different than the 376 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,639 Speaker 1: first time. Because you're saying it was you think you 377 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,439 Speaker 1: had postpartum depression, but maybe not to the degree to 378 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,479 Speaker 1: the degree on any level. And I took soul off, 379 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,640 Speaker 1: which my be g y N recommended. Like, I didn't 380 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 1: go see a psychiatrist. I just emailed her and she's like, 381 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: let me give you a lots as if. I'm like, okay, 382 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 1: I'm feeling better. And that was that. It was really 383 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 1: just like I didn't even see a professional this time around. 384 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: I saw a woman that kind of specializes in women's 385 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:20,199 Speaker 1: like reproduction and yeah and and all that, and we 386 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 1: had to try I would say, eight different medications. It 387 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,119 Speaker 1: was rough, So it wasn't just like, well, then I'm 388 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 1: feeling good. I had to go on a nightmare. I 389 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,680 Speaker 1: didn't even think about that. So it's really like all 390 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 1: all mental health, it's it's a. It's a it's very 391 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 1: dependent on per case, per person basic because medication can 392 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 1: take two to four weeks, so even then you're not 393 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: getting off the ground for a while. So it's like 394 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 1: you're gonna feel so much better to even call someone 395 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,679 Speaker 1: and where their weird side effects depending on the different 396 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:51,200 Speaker 1: drugs there. Well, so first she persons off, which is 397 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 1: what I'd taken before, So we're both assuming like done 398 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 1: and done, and then I felt so tired, so bad, 399 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 1: and I've been taking a nap since I started taking 400 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 1: l off to years prior every day, and just like 401 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 1: I forgot. I was like, I guess that's who I am. 402 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: For three years since I got pregnant, I was taking 403 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: nap every day, and I'm like scheduling everything around this 404 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:12,399 Speaker 1: sucking nap like family members know, like not like oh 405 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 1: and of course one to two you've got your naps, 406 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,800 Speaker 1: like this is what happens, and then being off the whatever. 407 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: So I was on the feeling so bad, and she's like, 408 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: I don't think this is jelling. So she did this 409 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: interesting thing which she took a DNA swab and sent 410 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 1: it to a genetic lab, which they have been doing 411 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: for like two years now. I think where they will 412 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: tell you literally what medications like hate to use this word, 413 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 1: like my mom, would you like jive with your system 414 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 1: to where like you get a green like these medications 415 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: are great for you, these ones are terrible in a 416 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: red or like a yellow is like kind of perceived 417 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 1: with caution every single from down to advil to a 418 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 1: viking into every single thing. And Zoloft was in like 419 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 1: my worst category and it said weight gain, of course, 420 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 1: which I've been struggling with and which of course makes 421 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: me more depressed. I mean, it's all like it it 422 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 1: makes me so tie aired, and it's just like it's 423 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,879 Speaker 1: not a good fit for you. And so well Buchan 424 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: was in my green category. But it's in a completely 425 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,680 Speaker 1: different class of drugs. And like your prozac, your your 426 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 1: zoll Off, your selexa lexapro, like those are in one 427 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: sysy are called well Beatre is more of an upper 428 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: which is just life changing to get on. But I 429 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: also had to get on an anti psychotic, which was 430 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 1: a shock. Who knows it's It's honestly used for you know, 431 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: people with intense schizophrenia or bipolar and recent studies have 432 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 1: shown that a very tiny dose of it, paired with 433 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:39,440 Speaker 1: well Buchron is a miracle combination for women with postpartum 434 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 1: So I don't even know why or how, but you 435 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: feel better. Well then that didn't stop started stopped working. 436 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 1: So I got off the anti psychotic and then I 437 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 1: ultimately and now settled nicely into well beuchroon and a 438 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 1: mood stabilizer which has an actress. I'm like, should I 439 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,400 Speaker 1: have always been on the boot right right right, right, 440 00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,640 Speaker 1: right right, maybe everybody I know so are feeling at 441 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,399 Speaker 1: all like yourself? Or has it been so long that 442 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 1: you felt like like it's all sounding like it's coming 443 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 1: into perspective that maybe even during your first pregnancy, your 444 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,439 Speaker 1: first son, all the years you were on zoloft, like 445 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: maybe you haven't felt like who you are and who 446 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 1: you are as a new mom maybe ever. And I'm 447 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 1: glad I didn't know that because you're only where you are. 448 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 1: So when I started feeling better, I was like, oh, 449 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 1: I was not doing well, but those childbearing years, like, 450 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,879 Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be seven months out of my 451 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 1: last one. It's like everything's looking up. It's just like 452 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 1: a routine is a little bit more settled down. Either 453 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,120 Speaker 1: people are sleeping, are people sleeping? Are sleeping? I'm back 454 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 1: to work. The psychiatrist also said for women that work 455 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:48,680 Speaker 1: is there's much more propensity towards postpartum because something settling 456 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: in that is just so unusual to you, which is 457 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,640 Speaker 1: like you've been so ambitious, you've been working so much, 458 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:57,880 Speaker 1: and now you're home and there's something very disorienting about it. 459 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,199 Speaker 1: I think no, I think you're very right, and then 460 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 1: there's also that like weighing on you of like you know, 461 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,639 Speaker 1: it's really weird, guys. But like in our country, I 462 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 1: think the standard is three months to have off, which 463 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,280 Speaker 1: a lot of women don't even get that. And then 464 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: there are a lot of countries where there's like maternity 465 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,400 Speaker 1: and paternity leave up to a year. And I think 466 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 1: that's probably because there's a lot of like soul searching, 467 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 1: figuring out connecting with your kid. Um. And I actually 468 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 1: took off quickly more with my second because I felt 469 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: like I had and then I was like morning a 470 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 1: bit of like that first month and half of his life. 471 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 1: I felt really badly like I was not president here. 472 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 1: So I took I pushed work and took longer off 473 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,560 Speaker 1: because I was like I still want to have my 474 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:42,360 Speaker 1: experience with him. Yeah, I was lucky I could. Which 475 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,359 Speaker 1: did you feel that your older son knew what was 476 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: going on? Did you have any conversations with him about 477 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,600 Speaker 1: that or was it like I probably should have happen 478 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 1: saying I know, I'm saying like I didn't remember anything. Frohmen, 479 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: I was what is he doing? Like he's two and 480 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: a half. Yeah, I'm going a lot on the fact 481 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,919 Speaker 1: that he came. Now he's not gonna remember he I 482 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: didn't really but he I think he very sensitive. I 483 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,159 Speaker 1: think he knew something was going on, but you know, 484 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 1: he's having his own postpartum period of like a new 485 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,200 Speaker 1: momly the only one um. You mentioned something about a 486 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,639 Speaker 1: support group that you're in a postpartum Facebook group or 487 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 1: did you find that there were groups like that that 488 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 1: you could get into. Did you find them welcoming, helpful? Yes, 489 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: So I'm in this like East Side Mom's Facebook group 490 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 1: in l A. That is amazing, and it's like eight 491 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: hundred women and some of them are in New York 492 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 1: and it's wonderful that someone started it just like grew 493 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,119 Speaker 1: and then they have offshoots of it. So it kind 494 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: of felt safe in terms of like, I certainly don't 495 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: know all of these women, but there seemed to be 496 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 1: like minded, normal moms, like on the more laid backside. 497 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 1: I got in the postpartum group and it was so 498 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 1: interesting because there's eight hundred moms in the group. And 499 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this math wrong, but what is you know, 500 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,200 Speaker 1: one out of ten women has postpartum, so how many 501 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 1: women would that make in the postpartum group, like eighty 502 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,119 Speaker 1: is that right? Yeah, I think it is exactly number 503 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,480 Speaker 1: and it is so wild. I'm like, oh, of this group, 504 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 1: we are are chosen ones and one in ten. It's 505 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: it's yeah, I mean this is a real. This is 506 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:12,640 Speaker 1: a real but I think everyone experiences some degree of it. Oh, 507 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 1: you might be in a tent, and I don't think 508 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 1: I was at a tent. I think that's why I 509 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: had a wonderful A therapist is also on this episode, 510 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: Lucy Rumlaur who you know. The whole thing is like, 511 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:30,399 Speaker 1: however you label it post part of depression, baby blues, 512 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: I'm not feeling like myself. I'll be okay, like any 513 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,920 Speaker 1: of these feelings. It's like, as soon as you're you 514 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,200 Speaker 1: have any sort of sneaking suspicion that something is really off. 515 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,400 Speaker 1: After the first couple of weeks and it's not lifting 516 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 1: or shifting or that kind of thing, it's like you 517 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 1: have to seek help no matter what. And that can 518 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:50,680 Speaker 1: start with just phone calls, reaching out to friends, Like 519 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,399 Speaker 1: if you don't have a therapist on speed dial, it's like, 520 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 1: we need a village to help raise this kid, and 521 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 1: you need a village to help you be a mom. 522 00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,520 Speaker 1: And so if we tell a friend, I need you 523 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 1: to call me appointment for me, I can't even get 524 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 1: it together. That's exactly right, and just tell me when 525 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 1: to go and be there, whether it's a family member, 526 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,160 Speaker 1: a friend, a partner, whatever you feel comfortably with, even 527 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 1: you might not feel comfortable with it being a mom 528 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,640 Speaker 1: or dad or a But that's weirdly the most trugbling 529 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: part for people get the name call like actually make 530 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,159 Speaker 1: the appointment. Something about like getting over the hump in 531 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: the same way like you give up reast met and 532 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,920 Speaker 1: you start formula. That's the biggest leap. Once you're on 533 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,000 Speaker 1: the other side, you're like, okay, I'm good. Yeah, but 534 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:29,199 Speaker 1: decided to prevent And there was another thing that that 535 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: I know, it's like having preventative measures in place, which 536 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: was before I had the baby. I told Adam, hey, 537 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: like in two weeks, if I don't seem like somebody, 538 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 1: you know, you need to tell me, like the appointment seriously, 539 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,600 Speaker 1: Like I told him that if I was like another 540 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 1: changer that and then also I had appointments with my 541 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 1: therapist on the phone the first week after he was born. 542 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: In the second week, um just for checkens to see 543 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 1: how I was doing, because I wasn't doing great, but 544 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: she kept checking in with me and I was laughing 545 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 1: a lot, and she's like, it's sounding to me like 546 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,359 Speaker 1: this is like baby blues new motherhood. You're completely flung 547 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,800 Speaker 1: around upside down. But let's watch this closely and see 548 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 1: if it's shifting and changing, which it did. Um And 549 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:18,720 Speaker 1: like I said, maybe around the six week eight week mark, 550 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 1: I started to really feel like in a groove and 551 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,800 Speaker 1: start to fall in love with him. But but I 552 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 1: was on like almost like watch do you know? What 553 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:30,480 Speaker 1: I mean is how we do and we have to 554 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 1: take care of ourselves. Did you leave your house or 555 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 1: interact with other people at all in that time? You're like, 556 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: did you talk to me? I did not. I would 557 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: attempt to, and it kept going awry. I would say 558 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 1: yes invitations, and David's like, my husband's like, you should 559 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,920 Speaker 1: go out, and then girlfriends will be come on, let's 560 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 1: just go down the street and we'll get a drink, 561 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 1: you know, a block away, and we'll meet you whenever, 562 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 1: and then I'd be going out and I'd have to cancel. 563 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 1: I kept saying yes to work, and I can't remember 564 00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,919 Speaker 1: what it was you got many emails from me that 565 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 1: like I would have a burst of energy and say 566 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,640 Speaker 1: let's do a music class, only to have to reel 567 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,679 Speaker 1: it all back and say I can't do this okay, 568 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: And similar with work. I think you emailed us saying 569 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,679 Speaker 1: that many times. I think she said you send an 570 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 1: email saying like, hey, I want to start this music classroom. 571 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 1: Maybe like you were in an up moment and we 572 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 1: were like, yes, yes, yes, we love to come to 573 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 1: you cross from music class never a few weeks later, 574 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 1: everyone yes, but we were all fine with it. And 575 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,399 Speaker 1: then you emailed back a few weeks later saying like 576 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,920 Speaker 1: I am not in the place. I can't do this 577 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: music class and we were all like understood like that 578 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,879 Speaker 1: just kind of knowing, like this will be good for me, 579 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,359 Speaker 1: but then like I really can't. You weren't capable of 580 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 1: the yea, So like, right, um, did you find personally 581 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 1: to you that because you're an actress and you do 582 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 1: a lot of comedy, Like did you find that hard 583 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,160 Speaker 1: or people would expect you, like at work or something, 584 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: to be funny and you're just like not in that place. Well, weirdly, 585 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 1: that's why I didn't go out because I'm so sensitive 586 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: to people wanting me to be funny. And I'm not 587 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,840 Speaker 1: saying I'm like God's gift to people. I'm just saying, 588 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,120 Speaker 1: but there's a pressure for you to be on and 589 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,960 Speaker 1: to be liked. And I was like, I cannot layer that, like, 590 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 1: you know, pressure for myself. I cannot meet it. So 591 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,880 Speaker 1: I need to like when I like, here's a good 592 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:12,560 Speaker 1: stub blonde terre. And finally one day I was like, 593 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 1: I can't uphold this. I can't be what people want 594 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 1: out of this. Look, yeah, they're expecting one thing and 595 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,360 Speaker 1: they're disappointed. And I'm sure even I know you're an actress, 596 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,399 Speaker 1: but but for other for people listening who are not 597 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,640 Speaker 1: in the entertainment industry, I think there's always that pressure, 598 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,600 Speaker 1: I think as a woman to be on. And I 599 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 1: even met you guys, I like brought my makeup bag 600 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 1: to Cedars with me where I had my baby, because 601 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 1: I was convinced that if I did my makeup in 602 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 1: a beautiful way when I came home with the baby, 603 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,280 Speaker 1: that I was going to present my new motherhood and 604 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,800 Speaker 1: my new child to like my in laws who are 605 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 1: waiting here in my parents and like can be like 606 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 1: super like, look, I'm fine I did it. I did 607 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 1: such a great job. And it was like a nightmare, 608 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 1: Like it was not like slowly but surely day after 609 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 1: day after day, like and make it became less. I 610 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 1: want to get that. It was just not even getting dressed. 611 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,000 Speaker 1: Oh now, like my boobs are at like I gave 612 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 1: zero fs. Like it was just oh, there's no room 613 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 1: for that here, Like it was just so vulnerable. Um, 614 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 1: was postparton depression something you ever thought would happen to you? 615 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: Like was it something that the first time you got 616 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: parton of you were like, I yause, I did. Yeah. 617 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,280 Speaker 1: I was like this sounds about right. You know. These 618 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 1: are the types of things that take me out always, 619 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 1: like when they're always like and just listen, guys will 620 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: be like one of you might be It's like, okay, 621 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,520 Speaker 1: that'll be me. When do you think it started to 622 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:41,959 Speaker 1: lift or shift like once wasn't finding the perfect medication 623 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 1: for you? Is when it started. I think it was 624 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,480 Speaker 1: like about eleven twelve weeks and I've gone in I 625 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,719 Speaker 1: think at three four weeks, So it was kind of 626 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 1: a period where I was definitely feeling better on different things, 627 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: but I hadn't found the right thing. And I think 628 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 1: it was about Halloween or around there when I was like, oh, 629 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,400 Speaker 1: I'm enjoying and looking forward to going this pumpkin patch 630 00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 1: with my kids. That's a big way. And I was like, oh, 631 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,280 Speaker 1: I'm actually like here having a lot of fun and 632 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: this is really neat. And I was like, Okay, I 633 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: think I'm like back into my life a bit. How 634 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: did your husband? I think we started to touch on this, 635 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 1: but like, how did he once you realize that there 636 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,440 Speaker 1: wasn't a fix in the way that he understands it 637 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 1: to be. How was that? I mean, I don't think 638 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 1: that's a great space for men in general, which is 639 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,360 Speaker 1: just like I can't do anything. I can't fix anything. 640 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,720 Speaker 1: And for me, you know, I think like, and you 641 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: must identify with this. Don't think anyone that's an not 642 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 1: that I'm like wildly successful, but when you're used to 643 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,880 Speaker 1: things like going right and having control, which we do 644 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: not have as an illusion as an actress and anyone 645 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 1: in life, but like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm at 646 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: a place in my career was like do this and 647 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 1: that kind of goes fine, and I'm not nervous to 648 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,280 Speaker 1: perform anymore. I'm not this. I'm not bad like I 649 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 1: kind of understand the lay of the land. This for 650 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: me was like, what the fund is happening? And I 651 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 1: think he is such a funny person and humor is 652 00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 1: like both of our fallback, of course, so we were 653 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 1: definitely laughing a lot and even laughing there was a 654 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,440 Speaker 1: night to be completely honest with you, and we found 655 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 1: out later this was the antipsychotic I've been prescribed too much. 656 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 1: Don't worry about the guys. But I called my therapist 657 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,080 Speaker 1: was in New York. I called her. It was midnight here, 658 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 1: so it's three in the morning there. I've never done 659 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 1: in my life, and I said, I need to go 660 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,080 Speaker 1: to a hospital, like a mental hospital. I was like, 661 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 1: I can't be I don't know what to do, but 662 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,720 Speaker 1: I need to check myself in somewhere. What was the 663 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 1: feelings that were having. I was having a full panic attack, 664 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,720 Speaker 1: which I've never even heard. Oh, they are a nightmare. 665 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 1: Never had someone you're dying? Yes, oh yeah, I'm welcome. 666 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,719 Speaker 1: It was like something's happening. There's also something that I'm 667 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 1: talking about, postpartum depression. Oh yeah, you were having anxiety. Um, 668 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 1: there's also postpartum anxiety, which is like a real, real 669 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,560 Speaker 1: thing and anxiety attacks. I mean, whether that's kind of 670 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,600 Speaker 1: a different offshoot of totally different and it's it's and 671 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,480 Speaker 1: I think probably there's a different medication for that. But 672 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 1: oh yeah, I've had anxiety attacks where I thought I've 673 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: gone blind, I've lost feeling in my face, I've been 674 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 1: rushed to the hospital. Yeah. That it was the real thing, 675 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 1: where your hearts just like racing out of your chest. 676 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,640 Speaker 1: It was one of the scariest things I've ever experienced. Yeah, 677 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,960 Speaker 1: it was. I was like, this is crazy. I'm so sorry. 678 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 1: So we were even laughing at that. I was like, 679 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 1: I kept saying, did you go to the emergency room 680 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,120 Speaker 1: and they checked all your vitals and we too started 681 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 1: to come down. We didn't because I kind of like, 682 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: I think it calmed down. And and also what I 683 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: kept saying is like, I'm too lazy to go, but 684 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 1: I want to go. And then I kept saying to 685 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:25,959 Speaker 1: my husband genuinely, I'm like, just drop me off at 686 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,560 Speaker 1: the front and just leave me there and you can leave. 687 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,120 Speaker 1: And he's like, I would never leave you in a 688 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 1: mental hospital. I was like, just walk me in, or 689 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,680 Speaker 1: you don't, you have to just drop me. I'm just 690 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,479 Speaker 1: so impressed. You've gone this long without having an anxiety attack. 691 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 1: Like I'm impressed. See, I'm more of a depressed I'm 692 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:46,440 Speaker 1: it's it's not my anxieties to like to upity. Yeah, 693 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 1: like anxiety, I'm always like whatever, it'll be fine, Like 694 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 1: I'm an optimist. I'm just kind of like I can't 695 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 1: be bothered to take that off. So you guys are like, 696 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: he really sounds like you guys used humor to get 697 00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 1: through it, which is wonderful. And he's really showed up 698 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 1: and been supportive. He was wonderful had to make but 699 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 1: of course it was coinciding with him, like he's had 700 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 1: the most amazing year in his career. And so after 701 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 1: two weeks he was like, it was like me looking 702 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,320 Speaker 1: out the window with my hand at the pane and 703 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:15,400 Speaker 1: like raining. He was like, I was like, go have 704 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 1: fun living your dreams. I'll be here. Like it was 705 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: so shocking. Oh god. I always think about women who 706 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 1: like who might have postpartum depression and they go back 707 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:28,560 Speaker 1: to working like a week, like or they have four kids. 708 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,560 Speaker 1: This is the counterintutive. The psychiatrist said, you must go 709 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 1: back to work. She's like, you're taking the opposite tacked, 710 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 1: which is like, I need to just stay home, and 711 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,120 Speaker 1: she's like, and I think it's impeding your wellness what 712 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 1: she said, And yes, we want to have control over 713 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,640 Speaker 1: our postpartum period, so you don't want anyone to force 714 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: you back to work. But she said, it's actually good 715 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,200 Speaker 1: to start working again if you have worked, especially if 716 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,360 Speaker 1: working also makes you feel at all, or just even 717 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 1: be creative. She's like, I I'm even talking about go 718 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:55,880 Speaker 1: to a coffee shop for an hour and right in 719 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 1: a journal, like do something outside of your child that 720 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,120 Speaker 1: fills you creative or else. You know, you're just going 721 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,600 Speaker 1: to still be in this spiral of domesticity that you 722 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 1: hate being home, but you feel guilty to be away. 723 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,279 Speaker 1: And it's just so you feel guilty that the first 724 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:13,439 Speaker 1: weeks weren't like as blissed out, if as you would 725 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:18,760 Speaker 1: have hoped. Um. What advice would you give parents experiencing 726 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:23,759 Speaker 1: postpartum depression. I think absolutely calling someone and I think 727 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 1: it'd be great to round up those numbers before you 728 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 1: even go into labor. That's what I said. It's preventative. 729 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 1: That's say, look, if you never need him, you never 730 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,799 Speaker 1: need them, God bless right the last. But it's like 731 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,239 Speaker 1: if you trust, if it's your partner, or if it's 732 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,319 Speaker 1: a best friend or as a family member who you 733 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,919 Speaker 1: give a number to a therapist too that you've heard 734 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,920 Speaker 1: through a friend might be good or something like that, 735 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 1: and you say, hey, can you check in on me 736 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 1: a week later, two weeks later, through text message, through 737 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 1: phone call, any way you can reach out, even if 738 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,160 Speaker 1: I'm pushing you away. And just if I don't look 739 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,320 Speaker 1: like a version of myself, you have never seen absolutely 740 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,440 Speaker 1: like an appointment for me, Yeah, the same way like 741 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,359 Speaker 1: you make Dennis appointments in advance, and like it's just 742 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,840 Speaker 1: I think having those numbers, it's honestly like posting like 743 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,920 Speaker 1: poison control. That's your phone and that sounds like dramatic, 744 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,240 Speaker 1: but I just think we don't know what's going to happen. 745 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,399 Speaker 1: And also I'm trying to think. I don't have much 746 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,480 Speaker 1: more advice. Like people are always like, well, what couldn't 747 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:18,200 Speaker 1: you do? And I just personally, if it's really really bad, 748 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 1: I just say medication and don't but punish yourself for 749 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 1: having to do that. And that's there's a And everyone 750 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:25,960 Speaker 1: keeps saying to me, which I have to say, I 751 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,239 Speaker 1: resent a bit. They're like, but you're gonna go off it, right, 752 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,160 Speaker 1: and like, but when you go off it? And I'm like, 753 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,919 Speaker 1: you know, honestly, I don't know, and maybe not ever. 754 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: I don't worry about it, and I don't know, and 755 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,080 Speaker 1: I'm not at all eager to now last things sick. 756 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 1: I just told me. She's like, it will lie dormant 757 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,880 Speaker 1: for up to a year or so. You shouldn't actually 758 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:44,319 Speaker 1: go off of it if you're feeling good at three, 759 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,640 Speaker 1: four or five, six, seven months. And yes, I just 760 00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 1: talked to a friend who actually I told her I 761 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:52,120 Speaker 1: was talking to you today, who um was like, I 762 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:55,239 Speaker 1: just had postpartum depression at six months, absolutely, And I 763 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: was like, wait, what I thought the postpartum depression. If 764 00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:02,400 Speaker 1: you've made it through the first hellish few months, you're 765 00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:06,440 Speaker 1: flying high. She was great, and she's like at six months, 766 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,640 Speaker 1: for whatever reason, she was at work a lot, she's 767 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:12,719 Speaker 1: been not seeing her kid and like got hit by 768 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: a freight train, couldn't get out of bed, same situation like, um, 769 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,439 Speaker 1: but she was like, can that happen at six months? 770 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:20,719 Speaker 1: And I guess it can happen. I mean the whole 771 00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:22,759 Speaker 1: first year. I think your hormones are still regulating you've 772 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 1: been through a major like physical and psychosomatic trauma. I 773 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,120 Speaker 1: think apparenting is like going on Ayahwaska, which I've never done. 774 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 1: When people say you're like confronted, they've never done like 775 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:33,440 Speaker 1: the Seven Circles of Hell, and I'm like, that's apparenting 776 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,359 Speaker 1: is like it's challenging you at your fundamental core. If 777 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,520 Speaker 1: there's something your kid picks up on that is like 778 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,200 Speaker 1: your weakness, forget that, They're go and test it. And 779 00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,480 Speaker 1: it's like, Oprah, It's like, I don't I don't know 780 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:48,799 Speaker 1: why I'm conjuring up her. But one said about like 781 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 1: you know, the universe is going to tell you over 782 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,560 Speaker 1: and over and your children will just be that like 783 00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:58,399 Speaker 1: final whatever work you have. No. Yes, there's this one book. 784 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:03,040 Speaker 1: It's called The Conscious Parents. It's it's a big Oprah 785 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:08,360 Speaker 1: really enjoys the book carry Washing. Yes, carry Washing is 786 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,520 Speaker 1: the only parenting book. She said, I would like every need. 787 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure she read a billion other books. She's wonderful, 788 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,920 Speaker 1: but she said was the only parent book everything, And 789 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,200 Speaker 1: it's the only one I really read in my pregnancy. 790 00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:19,759 Speaker 1: And basically it's all it's saying over and over again 791 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 1: is that they are here to teach us that. As 792 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,239 Speaker 1: much as you want to spend your time teaching them 793 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 1: numbers and letters and how to multiply and how to 794 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,279 Speaker 1: wipe their butt, really at the end of the day, 795 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,360 Speaker 1: they're here to take you to the next level of 796 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:37,200 Speaker 1: consciousness and all of those things. Because they are they 797 00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:39,759 Speaker 1: will find all the little things you have yet to 798 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,480 Speaker 1: work on here in this lifetime. And I think it's interesting. 799 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,319 Speaker 1: The one this resonate with me, the preschool director where 800 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 1: I go. She said something where, you know, everyone was 801 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,359 Speaker 1: sitting in a circle asking all these anxious questions, you know, like, okay, 802 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 1: but my son's not you know, he doesn't want to 803 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:54,600 Speaker 1: eat a lot, and then I'm not sleeping in the 804 00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:56,480 Speaker 1: naps and this and that, and this one woman was like, 805 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,920 Speaker 1: you know, incredibly anxious, which I get and asked a 806 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,319 Speaker 1: million questions since of them are like insane. Like she 807 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,840 Speaker 1: was like, you know, someone told me that if I 808 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,279 Speaker 1: have stuff animals in the room and they appear to 809 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,880 Speaker 1: be really animals but they're wearing clothes, it's very confusing 810 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,240 Speaker 1: for the kids because the kids think like animals wear clothes, 811 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 1: and I'm just like, I mean, it's all so good, 812 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 1: you know, I'm dying. I'm like, this is actually a 813 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,680 Speaker 1: bomb to my heart. These types of questions. So these 814 00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:22,439 Speaker 1: are the questions that come up, you know. And so 815 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,000 Speaker 1: she was so anxious, and she was so charming and 816 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:29,359 Speaker 1: sweet that the teacher basically said, listen, if you don't 817 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,319 Speaker 1: want your child to be anxious, if you don't want 818 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,880 Speaker 1: your child to be there, going to be whatever you are, 819 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,160 Speaker 1: it's like Caesar Milan and the fucking dog. It's true. 820 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,120 Speaker 1: It's like, just work on yourself. You want to be 821 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,880 Speaker 1: a great parent. And so this is why you like 822 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,440 Speaker 1: and what we're saying to everybody, like seeking help however 823 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,399 Speaker 1: feels great for you, because however, you need to get 824 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 1: happy and feel better in whatever that means to you 825 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,759 Speaker 1: and feel like a whole person is ultimately going to 826 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,600 Speaker 1: be the best thing for your kid. Yes, and like 827 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,600 Speaker 1: the moms, I know that they're super anxious. Yeah, their 828 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,400 Speaker 1: kids are too, and it's all good. It's just like 829 00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,120 Speaker 1: getting hold of our demons. My son is like has 830 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:07,320 Speaker 1: like throwes of like white hot rage. Like I just like, Casey, 831 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:12,000 Speaker 1: is there anything else you would like to say to anyone? Please? 832 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 1: I've brought something which is so another thing that happened 833 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 1: in my post program was that I started drafting letters 834 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,160 Speaker 1: to people that were insane, like letters to the editor 835 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 1: and like just shocking, like shocking letters like I sent 836 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,800 Speaker 1: one to a breastfeeding coach I had taken her class, 837 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,279 Speaker 1: and I wrote this in the middle of the night. 838 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,239 Speaker 1: Subtimes said subject you didn't tell me I had one 839 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 1: class whether for an hour. Body of the emails like 840 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:35,600 Speaker 1: you guy told me how hard it was gonna be. 841 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:37,120 Speaker 1: Like I really think you need to tell women like 842 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:38,719 Speaker 1: this is crazy, Like you're presenting it like it's so 843 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,840 Speaker 1: great fun, and I think you're doing a disservice woman. 844 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 1: I'd be firing off these emails like crazy. And also 845 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,120 Speaker 1: like lasting I'll say is at my preschool. This woman 846 00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,120 Speaker 1: wasn't trying to make me feel bad, but you're so 847 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,000 Speaker 1: in a spot where like you're going to hear things 848 00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:53,280 Speaker 1: totally wrong. Even still, So I had all this trouble 849 00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:59,239 Speaker 1: with my second and I finally got out of the 850 00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,640 Speaker 1: house to take my older son is like mommy and me. 851 00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:03,879 Speaker 1: So I'm sitting there and I'm feeling like Okay, I'm 852 00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,439 Speaker 1: like out, and this other mom who had a kid 853 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,880 Speaker 1: about the same age as me, was there with her 854 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,960 Speaker 1: older kid, but she was wearing a little one in 855 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:12,840 Speaker 1: the class and I'm like, oh my god, how's he 856 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,759 Speaker 1: doing this? So cute? And she goes, where is your son? 857 00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:18,600 Speaker 1: And I'm like, he's home, and she goes, oh, and 858 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,360 Speaker 1: then she pauses and she was I just was not 859 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:25,839 Speaker 1: ready to leave mine yet. And you just don't know 860 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,839 Speaker 1: like how hard it was even get there. And I'm 861 00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,560 Speaker 1: not trying to feel sorry for myself, but I do 862 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,839 Speaker 1: know it's hard for you to even I put this 863 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,520 Speaker 1: on men, like everyone, just be careful what you're saying 864 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:40,359 Speaker 1: to new moms. It's a delicate and basically don't say 865 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,719 Speaker 1: anything and just compliment them. Yeah. No, that's really a 866 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,760 Speaker 1: really good piece of advice, which is new moms, and 867 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 1: and new moms have to be so careful to other 868 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 1: new moms about like, like you say, the competitive nature 869 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,359 Speaker 1: or the but really it's just a very delicate thing 870 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,600 Speaker 1: and it's really just should be about love and support. 871 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,720 Speaker 1: And every one is doing the best they can where 872 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,080 Speaker 1: they are at, and everyone's going to raise their kids 873 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,440 Speaker 1: so differently, and you'll see you'll be surprised, like your 874 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:11,919 Speaker 1: best friends would be like huh, wow, they're or you'll 875 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,600 Speaker 1: be like, can she grab her kid who's about to 876 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 1: dive down the stairs. But you know, you'll have all 877 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,200 Speaker 1: these thoughts. But it's just like everyone's doing their best. 878 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,080 Speaker 1: Is kind of what I've tried to come to. I 879 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,719 Speaker 1: wish I could say that more to myself and accept it, 880 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,719 Speaker 1: but I certainly see it with every mom I know 881 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:31,080 Speaker 1: is doing their best. You're doing your best. Thank you, 882 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,799 Speaker 1: you're doing God bless you. God blows you saying God 883 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,880 Speaker 1: bless you. I'm not religious neither, but um, thank you 884 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:41,839 Speaker 1: guys so much for tuning into Katie's crib. Casey, thank 885 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:45,319 Speaker 1: you for being again so sharing the story. I think 886 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:51,080 Speaker 1: I I think it is so helpful that you are 887 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 1: open to tell you you're happy to share it and 888 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 1: happy to be on the other side and just want 889 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:59,080 Speaker 1: anyone to get help that needs it. Yes, thank you, guys. 890 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:12,560 Speaker 1: Thank We are here with Lucy rim Alour and she 891 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:16,520 Speaker 1: is here to help us understand what exactly postpartum depression 892 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:20,719 Speaker 1: is and to provide us with some seriously needed information. 893 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,839 Speaker 1: Hi Lucy, Hi Katie, thanks for having me. I'm so 894 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:27,239 Speaker 1: excited that you're here. Um, let's just jump into it 895 00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:31,360 Speaker 1: because this is like a huge topic and we We 896 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,800 Speaker 1: could and should go on about it for a million days, 897 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:39,640 Speaker 1: but tell us what exactly is postpartum depression? So postpartum 898 00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:43,839 Speaker 1: depression is actually depression in some ways, like depression would 899 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,440 Speaker 1: happen in any time in a woman's life. What's unique 900 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:49,800 Speaker 1: about it is two things. One when it's happening, which 901 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:53,520 Speaker 1: is anytime during pregnancy actually, which is why we call 902 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:58,160 Speaker 1: it perry partum depression. Um, and up to four weeks after. 903 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,600 Speaker 1: I'll tell you that's for diagnosed stick purposes. But sometimes 904 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,240 Speaker 1: women are at risk as early as when they're starting 905 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:08,640 Speaker 1: to try to get pregnant and for months afterwards. What's 906 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 1: perry So perry partum just refers to that, So perry 907 00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:19,520 Speaker 1: partum includes pregnancy. So really to think about a time 908 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:22,399 Speaker 1: frame that women are at risk as being beyond just 909 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 1: like okay, I had the baby, but actually women are 910 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:31,359 Speaker 1: really vulnerable for a long period of time and it's 911 00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:36,359 Speaker 1: so good news. Um. Would you say that some women 912 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,600 Speaker 1: are more at risk than others? Yes, so there definitely 913 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:42,360 Speaker 1: are some risk factors. If you have had a history 914 00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:48,440 Speaker 1: of depression, anxiety, and mood disorder like bipolar disorder, if 915 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:52,799 Speaker 1: you have a family history of mental health issues, if 916 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,880 Speaker 1: you have a mother or a sister who had postpartum depression, 917 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,600 Speaker 1: you are more at risk. WHOA, I did not know 918 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,919 Speaker 1: any of those things. Yeah that's crazy. Yes, yes, I've 919 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,200 Speaker 1: been talking a lot about this with the moms in 920 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:09,160 Speaker 1: in in a bunch of different mom groups I'm in, Like, 921 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:15,080 Speaker 1: what what is the difference between postpartum blues versus postpartum depression? Like, 922 00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,520 Speaker 1: I feel like women that I know, I'm speaking from 923 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,719 Speaker 1: my own personal experience, Like I felt like I had 924 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:25,080 Speaker 1: really I had blues after I had Albi. But I 925 00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,239 Speaker 1: even find myself saying like, oh no, no no, no, but 926 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:31,320 Speaker 1: it wasn't postpartum depression because because I didn't really feel 927 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:34,319 Speaker 1: like suicidal or anything, or I did get out of bed, 928 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,200 Speaker 1: but I also was like not myself and super bummed out. 929 00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:42,080 Speaker 1: Is there a difference? How do you tell? Is you 930 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,359 Speaker 1: know that kind of thing? So, so two things about that. One, 931 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,760 Speaker 1: let's talk about the difference, and then let's talk about 932 00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,600 Speaker 1: what we don't need to think about in terms of 933 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:54,440 Speaker 1: the difference, if that makes sense. So, most women experience 934 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:58,800 Speaker 1: some form of baby blues. Having the baby is a 935 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:04,640 Speaker 1: major bio psycho social event with the most dramatic hormone 936 00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,480 Speaker 1: drop off you will have in your life and just 937 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:11,520 Speaker 1: it's crazy, right, Like, especially estrogen, the drop off after 938 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,040 Speaker 1: you have a baby has a major effect on the 939 00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:19,319 Speaker 1: chemicals that manage your mood. Right, So most women experience 940 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,040 Speaker 1: at least some of that. And that could be sad, 941 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:27,160 Speaker 1: that could be rageful, that could be tearful, they say, 942 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,520 Speaker 1: emotionally labile, meaning you just feel like you're not in 943 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,200 Speaker 1: control every mood some form of that, right, But if 944 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:37,080 Speaker 1: that goes on really more than two weeks and intensifies 945 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:41,759 Speaker 1: and gets worse, right, and you start feeling like, you know, 946 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,800 Speaker 1: I guess isn't lifting or shifting at all? Lifting and 947 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:49,879 Speaker 1: sifting and I'm having not only like you know, sort 948 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,640 Speaker 1: of I'm worried about the baby a little bit, but 949 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,719 Speaker 1: starting to feel real sense of worthlessness. And they say, 950 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:59,239 Speaker 1: you know, disrupting your ability to function, which, let's face it, 951 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:03,000 Speaker 1: that's already just no one functioning. You're on two minutes 952 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,600 Speaker 1: two minutes of sleep, but you really feel kind of 953 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,480 Speaker 1: worthless as a human and as a mother, and it 954 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 1: feels it feels like whoa this is something is not 955 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:17,359 Speaker 1: right here. That's when it starts becoming postpartum depression rather 956 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:21,920 Speaker 1: than baby blues. Now, Okay, wow, that's hugely helpful because 957 00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,560 Speaker 1: that does make sense. Like I did have postpartum blues. 958 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,360 Speaker 1: I did not have it during my pregnancy, but I 959 00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,240 Speaker 1: had anxiety I think during my pregnancy of like super 960 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,520 Speaker 1: scared of like having a baby and like ripping my 961 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,239 Speaker 1: vagina and a if that was going to be the 962 00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,840 Speaker 1: way it was going to go down. Um, But the 963 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:42,280 Speaker 1: blues part. I remember going to a little like mommy 964 00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,000 Speaker 1: class before I had the baby at Beanie Birth and 965 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:48,560 Speaker 1: and she said she was a teacher there and she 966 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:51,480 Speaker 1: had postpartum depression. And I made a pact with Adam 967 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,480 Speaker 1: before I had Albie, and I said, Hey, I don't 968 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,000 Speaker 1: know what kind of mental state I'm going to be 969 00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,239 Speaker 1: in after I have the baby, So can you just 970 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,120 Speaker 1: for me, like at the two week mark, if I 971 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:04,640 Speaker 1: don't look like the wife and the person you have 972 00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,359 Speaker 1: known for the last eleven years, that's when we need 973 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,359 Speaker 1: to send up some real red flags and I might 974 00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,799 Speaker 1: need to get help. Um. I had already been in 975 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:16,680 Speaker 1: touch with my therapist because I love therapy and I'm 976 00:47:16,719 --> 00:47:19,880 Speaker 1: a huge fan. That's me personally, But I had also 977 00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,600 Speaker 1: the support system in place. Um, which I think was 978 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,040 Speaker 1: hugely helpful. And I just said to him if if 979 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,960 Speaker 1: at that two week market, I don't know why I 980 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,520 Speaker 1: had that in my head, but if I don't look 981 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,880 Speaker 1: like myself, it's time to really maybe start to consider 982 00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,839 Speaker 1: that blues might be a depression situation and drugs might 983 00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,880 Speaker 1: be needed or necessary or outside help that kind of thing. 984 00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,880 Speaker 1: And I think to that end, the distinction between baby 985 00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:49,080 Speaker 1: blues and postpartum depression or peripartum depression is important somewhat. 986 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,280 Speaker 1: But I also don't want it to be that someone 987 00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:55,279 Speaker 1: dismisses their experience get into this. If I can go 988 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,800 Speaker 1: there and say that you don't have to be feeling 989 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:01,480 Speaker 1: so dark and so bad to get support so right, 990 00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:04,880 Speaker 1: like I think being a mother for the first time 991 00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:08,080 Speaker 1: or any time, but that beginning phase where there's just 992 00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:12,680 Speaker 1: so much going on, that's enough to say, Hey, what 993 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:15,319 Speaker 1: a support need to look like here? What do I 994 00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,920 Speaker 1: need to get through this? I think I was so 995 00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:20,480 Speaker 1: scared of having postpartum depression that I was just like 996 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:25,359 Speaker 1: I had the appointment with my therapist before I gave birth, 997 00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:27,640 Speaker 1: like in place like a few days later, just so 998 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,360 Speaker 1: I was like trying to, you know, just have a 999 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,160 Speaker 1: handle on and make sure that, like I, had a 1000 00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,719 Speaker 1: support system in place, which is a really smart thing. 1001 00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,360 Speaker 1: If people spend so much time thinking what's the nursery 1002 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,719 Speaker 1: going to look like, but if they spent as much 1003 00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:43,600 Speaker 1: time picking out Okay, here's my team. Who's going to 1004 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,440 Speaker 1: help me get through this. Here is who's going to 1005 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,400 Speaker 1: come by and check on me, who's here's who's going 1006 00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,520 Speaker 1: to bring groceries, here's gonna who's going to give my 1007 00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,719 Speaker 1: partner a break? All those kinds of guys. Are you 1008 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,080 Speaker 1: hearing this? And I know this keeps being a running 1009 00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,840 Speaker 1: theme in these podcasts about this whole It takes a 1010 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:02,520 Speaker 1: village thing, but it is serious. It is very serious. 1011 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,440 Speaker 1: So what we're saying here, and it might be a 1012 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,960 Speaker 1: really good idea to entertain, is spend a lot of 1013 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,799 Speaker 1: the time on the nursery, a lot of the time 1014 00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:14,799 Speaker 1: on your birth plan, but there also needs to be 1015 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,120 Speaker 1: time set up for your support system after you have 1016 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:21,560 Speaker 1: a baby, the groceries and appointment with your therapist, a 1017 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:25,840 Speaker 1: break for your partner, all those things so that whatever 1018 00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:28,640 Speaker 1: feelings you may or may not have after the baby, 1019 00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:34,000 Speaker 1: you have a village around you. So we're thinking, when 1020 00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,319 Speaker 1: should a new mom. When people start thinking, O, when 1021 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,360 Speaker 1: should a new mom asked for help? Are there ways 1022 00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,680 Speaker 1: that she can keep track of certain behavioral signs and 1023 00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,239 Speaker 1: her feelings? You know early on? What you would kind 1024 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,040 Speaker 1: of say is that should be set up before you 1025 00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:49,239 Speaker 1: have the baby. Yes, that I would say, you know, 1026 00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:53,640 Speaker 1: thinking about who are the eyes on you? And the 1027 00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:58,360 Speaker 1: good news is UM A lot of pediatricians now actually 1028 00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:02,200 Speaker 1: do UM perry hard of depression screening for moms because 1029 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,480 Speaker 1: for many of us, especially if you have an uncomplicated 1030 00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,880 Speaker 1: birth experience, your OBI goes by see you in six weeks? 1031 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,040 Speaker 1: That was a shocked shocking right we we we we 1032 00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,799 Speaker 1: were I've been seeing you every day and go to 1033 00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:16,919 Speaker 1: this pediatrician. I was supposed taking here of my baby, 1034 00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,560 Speaker 1: but who's taking here of me? Right? So the American 1035 00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:24,160 Speaker 1: Academy of Pediatrics recommends that pediatrician screen at one month, 1036 00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,680 Speaker 1: two months, four months, and six month follow ups, Which 1037 00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,640 Speaker 1: is why don't be surprised new moms if you're pediatrician 1038 00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:35,960 Speaker 1: hands you either UM one of there's a p h 1039 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:39,279 Speaker 1: Q nine. It's called there's a back depression inventory. There's 1040 00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,120 Speaker 1: a bunch of different screens. Yeah, I had to fill 1041 00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:45,040 Speaker 1: out that one sheet I forgot about that and my 1042 00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:48,440 Speaker 1: pediatrician's office it like the two week mark or something. 1043 00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,680 Speaker 1: I got a sheet like, how are you feeling? Circle 1044 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:56,000 Speaker 1: those spaces exactly. And part of that is and this 1045 00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:58,640 Speaker 1: is smart because again, you're Obie's you know, breaking up 1046 00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,480 Speaker 1: with you, but you're a pediatric and you're just getting serious. 1047 00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,240 Speaker 1: It's really true. And so they're actually a great place 1048 00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:06,520 Speaker 1: to screen. So one thing that you can sort of 1049 00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:08,920 Speaker 1: think about is, all right, I know I'm going to 1050 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,319 Speaker 1: get that screening, but who else has eyes on me? 1051 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:15,040 Speaker 1: And I would say part of your postpartum plan should 1052 00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,600 Speaker 1: include who are you going to talk to every day 1053 00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:21,239 Speaker 1: other than your baby and other than your partner? And 1054 00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,080 Speaker 1: talk And I get talk as a tall order sometimes. 1055 00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,320 Speaker 1: So maybe it's just a text, Maybe it's a friend, 1056 00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:29,400 Speaker 1: maybe it's a family member who just says, hey, how 1057 00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:32,319 Speaker 1: you doing, Hey, what's going on? How you doing? And 1058 00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:35,080 Speaker 1: you can you don't feel like having a conversation. We've 1059 00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:37,960 Speaker 1: got emojis for that, thumbs up, thumbs down. But just 1060 00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:41,600 Speaker 1: let somebody know where you are and let somebody take 1061 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,720 Speaker 1: the role of helping you to check in on yourself. 1062 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:49,200 Speaker 1: That's so, so so helpful. Um, are there any ways 1063 00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:54,359 Speaker 1: to to minimize the chance of developing those partum depression Well, 1064 00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:59,520 Speaker 1: I think these kinds of preventative measures. Really thinking about 1065 00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:03,080 Speaker 1: what is the plan to take care of myself? Knowing 1066 00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:04,960 Speaker 1: that you have to be as you were with your 1067 00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:07,160 Speaker 1: birth plan, as you were with lots of the other 1068 00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:10,600 Speaker 1: ideas you have about motherhood. Gonna have to be flexible, 1069 00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:15,920 Speaker 1: but having some having some supports in place, thinking about 1070 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,200 Speaker 1: is there a community group here in l A. We're 1071 00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:23,160 Speaker 1: so lucky to have Beanie birth, to have the pump station, um, 1072 00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:27,360 Speaker 1: but checking out some of the online supports even and 1073 00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:29,359 Speaker 1: they're they're a mixed bag, I know. But if you're 1074 00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,120 Speaker 1: looking for community and you live someplace where it's hard 1075 00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:36,560 Speaker 1: to get to places, going online to the Facebook mommy groups, UM, 1076 00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,359 Speaker 1: we're going to list a few of those, two um, 1077 00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:42,480 Speaker 1: you guys for you to look at, um, because that's 1078 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:46,759 Speaker 1: very important. UM. So, like these mommy groups you talk 1079 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:49,640 Speaker 1: about on Facebook or things like that, more and more 1080 00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,680 Speaker 1: women are sharing their own personal experiences with postpartum depression. 1081 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:55,840 Speaker 1: But like we're saying, many new mothers still have a 1082 00:52:55,840 --> 00:53:00,800 Speaker 1: difficult time talking about it asking for help. So right now, 1083 00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:03,560 Speaker 1: you would say, before you have the baby. It's like 1084 00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,799 Speaker 1: texting a friends saying, hey, would you mind being the 1085 00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:09,040 Speaker 1: person that looks out for me? Um, someone other than 1086 00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:12,200 Speaker 1: your partner, someone probably other than your mom. Someone Yes, 1087 00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:16,399 Speaker 1: moms can be controversial in these moments. Loving the controversial. 1088 00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:21,360 Speaker 1: So somebody who you can feel comfortable to say, you 1089 00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:23,719 Speaker 1: know what, yet today I really need to talk, or 1090 00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,360 Speaker 1: today I don't need to talk, or or you know what, 1091 00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:28,959 Speaker 1: today I need you to drop by some groceries. And 1092 00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:34,600 Speaker 1: there is a wonderful organization called the Seven Sisters for 1093 00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:38,080 Speaker 1: Seven Days run by a woman named Michelle Peterson, that 1094 00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:41,960 Speaker 1: helps women put together postpartum plans. She has some great 1095 00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:45,400 Speaker 1: models of this, but seven Sisters. Her idea is that 1096 00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:48,160 Speaker 1: you find seven people in your life who are each 1097 00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,520 Speaker 1: going to take a day of the week Monday through Friday, 1098 00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,520 Speaker 1: and they're going to each have a task for that. 1099 00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:55,200 Speaker 1: I have goose bumps right now. This is brilliant. It's 1100 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:59,560 Speaker 1: a beautiful idea, right. Michelle Peterson does great, but not 1101 00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,520 Speaker 1: every but he has that many people available and so 1102 00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:05,760 Speaker 1: coming up with creative workarounds. Maybe there are some people 1103 00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,000 Speaker 1: who come up before the baby is born and bring 1104 00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,280 Speaker 1: a bunch of frozen food and stick it in your freezer. 1105 00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:14,280 Speaker 1: Maybe you have a big food freezing party with some friends. Um. 1106 00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:18,080 Speaker 1: But there's also the Postpartum Support International is kind of 1107 00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:22,840 Speaker 1: a wonderful resource online that also has um support groups 1108 00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:26,080 Speaker 1: that you can get connected with. So it's really important 1109 00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,919 Speaker 1: to set this up ahead of time. And if you're 1110 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,920 Speaker 1: someone who you know, for a lot of people their 1111 00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,920 Speaker 1: stigma talking about this stuff. They feel like, gosh, you know, 1112 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,360 Speaker 1: there's so many mothers in history. Why am I the 1113 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,919 Speaker 1: one who's so special? And I feel terrible all the time, 1114 00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:40,719 Speaker 1: you know, and it's like there's like, oh my gosh, 1115 00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:43,560 Speaker 1: I'm a bad mom. I'm a bad mom. I kept thinking, 1116 00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,680 Speaker 1: you know, I kept saying after Adam and I had Albie, 1117 00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:50,000 Speaker 1: you know, my parents were around and his parents were around, 1118 00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:54,920 Speaker 1: and I felt really bad. But I remember just crying 1119 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:58,719 Speaker 1: in my room saying I'm not having any fun. This 1120 00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,919 Speaker 1: is not fun like that, And my mother in law 1121 00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:06,279 Speaker 1: walked by and saw me do that, and I felt bad, like, 1122 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:07,920 Speaker 1: oh no, I hope she doesn't think I'm going to 1123 00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:11,600 Speaker 1: be a bad mom to her grandson. She's amazing, she 1124 00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:14,160 Speaker 1: totally got it. We had a great heart to heart, 1125 00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:17,040 Speaker 1: but I was very emotionally up and down, Like there 1126 00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,319 Speaker 1: were moments in the middle of the day where I 1127 00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:21,600 Speaker 1: felt great and so happy to be a mom, and 1128 00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:25,160 Speaker 1: then there were moments where I literally, like scandal, wanted 1129 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,120 Speaker 1: to get on a plane, change my identity, go to Europe, 1130 00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,480 Speaker 1: find a new boyfriend, and never be a mother. Like 1131 00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:36,960 Speaker 1: I was so beyond free doubt at how overwhelmed I felt. Um, 1132 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:42,640 Speaker 1: so for women that at around the you feel very 1133 00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:46,880 Speaker 1: worthless and they feel stuck, and that these feelings are 1134 00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:52,719 Speaker 1: not shifting, and um, what are ways that PPD is 1135 00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,200 Speaker 1: treated And are there options for women who can't or 1136 00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:58,120 Speaker 1: don't want to take medication? Yes, yes, yes, So let 1137 00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,200 Speaker 1: me start with the most severe. I just always want 1138 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,879 Speaker 1: to put this out there. If you feel like you 1139 00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,560 Speaker 1: are in danger of hurting yourself or your baby, please 1140 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:10,480 Speaker 1: get help immediately. We don't need to go through fancy diagnosis. 1141 00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:13,400 Speaker 1: You need help. You deserve help, your baby deserves you 1142 00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,200 Speaker 1: having that help. That could be calling nine one, that 1143 00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,040 Speaker 1: could be your partner taking you to the e er. Um. 1144 00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:22,279 Speaker 1: I'm going to give some talk lines, some hotlines that 1145 00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:27,640 Speaker 1: are available also before posting UM. But you know there 1146 00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,920 Speaker 1: are also lots of ways. You know, postpartum and perrypartum 1147 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:35,120 Speaker 1: depression is very treatable. Yes, medication is an option, but 1148 00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:37,960 Speaker 1: so is talk therapy. There are lots of modalities of 1149 00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:43,919 Speaker 1: talk therapy like cognitive behavioral therapy, UM, interpersonal therapy, all 1150 00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,960 Speaker 1: these things that can be really helpful in giving relief. 1151 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:51,440 Speaker 1: There's also group therapy, and there's also less formalized treatments 1152 00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:56,480 Speaker 1: like going to New Moms support groups and getting you know, 1153 00:56:56,560 --> 00:57:00,799 Speaker 1: just encouragement and support from loved ones, getting breaks. Those 1154 00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:05,520 Speaker 1: things can be really helpful. Mindfulness based interventions can be 1155 00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:10,200 Speaker 1: really helpful to doing you know, meditation practices and things 1156 00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:13,399 Speaker 1: like that that can really help regulate mood, especially since 1157 00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:17,439 Speaker 1: again we have to honor this is a physiological experience. 1158 00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:20,160 Speaker 1: This is not just the thoughts in your head. This 1159 00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:24,200 Speaker 1: is your whole body taking in a major event. Yeah, 1160 00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:28,680 Speaker 1: it's a huge trauma, right, which It's like I remember too, 1161 00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:32,000 Speaker 1: I would allow myself to have like a fifteen minute 1162 00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:36,320 Speaker 1: hot shower at night, and I would sit I have 1163 00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:37,919 Speaker 1: a little bench in my shower and I would sit 1164 00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:43,640 Speaker 1: there and just like zone out. And I remember I 1165 00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:46,560 Speaker 1: think praying to some sort of gods that I would 1166 00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,920 Speaker 1: sleep at all to the night that was coming on. 1167 00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:54,520 Speaker 1: But that shower was very like meditative for me, and 1168 00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,760 Speaker 1: I just meant that my hair was going to be clean, 1169 00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:00,680 Speaker 1: and you know, it was just the thing that I 1170 00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:04,400 Speaker 1: connected to. UM. And I know that some some women, 1171 00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:08,560 Speaker 1: I know, you know that breastfeeding is very important to them, 1172 00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:10,720 Speaker 1: and then if they're so scared, if they start taking 1173 00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:12,880 Speaker 1: medication that's going to affect their breast milk. And I 1174 00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,480 Speaker 1: actually know one mom who thought it was gonna be 1175 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:17,880 Speaker 1: worse for me if I couldn't breastfeed. I was going 1176 00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:23,080 Speaker 1: to be even more completely feeling so worthless and depressed. 1177 00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:25,400 Speaker 1: So forget it. I'm taking the drugs and I'm breastfeeding. 1178 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,280 Speaker 1: It's again, it's a personal choice, you know. It's like 1179 00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:29,560 Speaker 1: you're juggling a lot of things at one time, and 1180 00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,960 Speaker 1: you have to obviously speak to your doctor and figure 1181 00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:34,000 Speaker 1: out what's safe for you and your baby. But there 1182 00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,960 Speaker 1: are a lot of options out there, and the most 1183 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,120 Speaker 1: important thing is that you go and you find them 1184 00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:44,280 Speaker 1: and seek them out. UM, what can a woman's partner 1185 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:47,880 Speaker 1: or family, friends, what can we do to encourage and 1186 00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:51,320 Speaker 1: support ask friends for help? What what would be? And 1187 00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:53,040 Speaker 1: I think you've already covered a lot of this, but 1188 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:56,560 Speaker 1: it's anything else I think, you know, just adding in there. 1189 00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:58,959 Speaker 1: And this actually in some ways goes back to the mother. 1190 00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:01,320 Speaker 1: But a mother has to be willing, and it's really 1191 00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:05,600 Speaker 1: hard but to ask and say yes to help and 1192 00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:09,400 Speaker 1: then let me. It's very good to practice early on 1193 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:11,840 Speaker 1: because get ready, you're going to be doing it a lot. 1194 00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:16,360 Speaker 1: This is this village problem situation. Thing that I have 1195 00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:18,640 Speaker 1: really had to learn the most in motherhood is that 1196 00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:21,720 Speaker 1: I am not someone that asked for help. Ever. I'm 1197 00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:25,080 Speaker 1: a doer. I'm a workhorse, and so I've always been 1198 00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:27,800 Speaker 1: I have always felt that asking for help is a 1199 00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:30,000 Speaker 1: sign of weakness, that I can't do it on my own. 1200 00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:32,880 Speaker 1: You can't do it on your own. Let me want 1201 00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:35,040 Speaker 1: you to tell you cannot do it on your own. 1202 00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:38,680 Speaker 1: Women didn't and they shouldn't, right and they don't have to. 1203 00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:42,480 Speaker 1: And again being creative about the ways in which if 1204 00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:46,240 Speaker 1: you are a partner, if you are friends of new Mama, 1205 00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,040 Speaker 1: there are so many ways to show up. There are 1206 00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:52,680 Speaker 1: simple things like just texting, just being willing to text 1207 00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:56,320 Speaker 1: somebody and be responsive. There is the bringing food, There's 1208 00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:01,480 Speaker 1: taking out somebody's trash, There's being willing to keep showing up, 1209 01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,040 Speaker 1: but also be willing to take no for an answer 1210 01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:05,680 Speaker 1: if a mom's not up for it that day, but 1211 01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:07,720 Speaker 1: keep trying. You know, some I have a lot of 1212 01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:09,880 Speaker 1: people who say, oh, you know, I tried. They didn't 1213 01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:12,360 Speaker 1: want anybody over. They wanted their privacy, which a lot 1214 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:15,200 Speaker 1: of moms do. Your breasts are hanging out, you're nursing, 1215 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:21,520 Speaker 1: you're pumping, sitting on a donut, you haven't shirt. It 1216 01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:24,360 Speaker 1: was awful. It's not your sexiest moment. It's not the 1217 01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:26,640 Speaker 1: moment you're getting up to host and offer somebody a 1218 01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:28,480 Speaker 1: cup of tea when they come. There's a lot of 1219 01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:31,280 Speaker 1: vulnerability there to being a woman of like again this 1220 01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:33,680 Speaker 1: problem of like, oh, if I'm going to have friends over, 1221 01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:35,920 Speaker 1: I have to look like I have my stuff together. 1222 01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:37,880 Speaker 1: I have to look like I have clothes on and 1223 01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,000 Speaker 1: that labor didn't take it out of me and I've 1224 01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:43,000 Speaker 1: got it all together and I love my baby. No 1225 01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:47,160 Speaker 1: I I've struggled with that all the time, Like Adam 1226 01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,560 Speaker 1: my hus you know, Adam and I were very social 1227 01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:53,440 Speaker 1: and people really wanted to come over. And I'm someone 1228 01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:55,600 Speaker 1: who when people come over, the house has to look 1229 01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:57,560 Speaker 1: a certain way. There has to be things put out 1230 01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,160 Speaker 1: I have to look a certain way, I have to 1231 01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:00,640 Speaker 1: look like I have my st together. And it was 1232 01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:03,720 Speaker 1: a real struggle for me to know that I really 1233 01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:06,120 Speaker 1: had to let that stuff go like I just did. 1234 01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:08,960 Speaker 1: And it was again, it's one of the many lessons 1235 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,760 Speaker 1: that being a mom has taught me so far, and 1236 01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:13,560 Speaker 1: I think so any more to go that that that's 1237 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,680 Speaker 1: a really big one and figuring out again that you know, 1238 01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:20,280 Speaker 1: it's it's letting somebody into a really vulnerable time in 1239 01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:23,720 Speaker 1: your life and being willing to say, yes, thank you, 1240 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:26,560 Speaker 1: you can take out my recycling or if you're not 1241 01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:28,200 Speaker 1: up for it. You know, in my circle, we did 1242 01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:30,360 Speaker 1: a lot of what we called ding dong ditch where 1243 01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:33,760 Speaker 1: we would just drop groceries or drop baked goods, or 1244 01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:39,080 Speaker 1: drop you know, anything needed, prescription medication, whatever needs to 1245 01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:42,960 Speaker 1: happen on the door. No expectation to be seen, certainly 1246 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:46,400 Speaker 1: not to be entertained, but just the opportunity to be 1247 01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:48,840 Speaker 1: of service to each other. And I think when you're 1248 01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:51,480 Speaker 1: a new mom, you forget how good it feels to 1249 01:01:51,520 --> 01:01:53,760 Speaker 1: be able to do that for somebody else. That also 1250 01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:56,760 Speaker 1: means being willing to receive it. So true, I also 1251 01:01:56,800 --> 01:02:01,440 Speaker 1: can say, um that I hope that many of you 1252 01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:06,560 Speaker 1: out there become on the on this texting situation with 1253 01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,400 Speaker 1: your friends and checking on them constantly. And for me 1254 01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:12,680 Speaker 1: it was a huge trigger if some some women friends 1255 01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:15,040 Speaker 1: I had with text like, aren't you so blissed out? 1256 01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:20,880 Speaker 1: And I would be like no, and again such a 1257 01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:24,840 Speaker 1: struggle with myself and the how I present myself, but 1258 01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:27,960 Speaker 1: I would reply, no, I'm not blissed out. I'm having 1259 01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,960 Speaker 1: a really really hard time. I'm really tired. I think 1260 01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:32,280 Speaker 1: this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my 1261 01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:36,800 Speaker 1: entire life. Um. I've also had friends who, like you say, 1262 01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:39,520 Speaker 1: it's this is how you know it's a completely hormonal, 1263 01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:42,960 Speaker 1: insane time in your life. Because here I was not 1264 01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:48,280 Speaker 1: list out, struggling, having like comedic moments of crying to Adam. 1265 01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:51,040 Speaker 1: And then my best friend, who had had a baby 1266 01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:55,840 Speaker 1: months earlier, was literally on her knees crying to me, saying, 1267 01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:59,040 Speaker 1: I've never felt love like this in my whole life. 1268 01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:00,320 Speaker 1: I wake up in the middle of the night and 1269 01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:02,440 Speaker 1: I look at my husband and I look at my baby, 1270 01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:04,960 Speaker 1: and what if something happens to one of them? Like 1271 01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:08,440 Speaker 1: she was having a completely different experience, but I've been 1272 01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:10,320 Speaker 1: friends with her for seventeen years, and I had never 1273 01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:13,920 Speaker 1: seen her so like up and down, but her highs 1274 01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:15,920 Speaker 1: were so high and I really wasn't having that, and 1275 01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:19,000 Speaker 1: it it just goes to show you everyone's personal experience 1276 01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:22,880 Speaker 1: is very different. Um and you really it's like you 1277 01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:25,600 Speaker 1: just don't really have control. And that that makes a 1278 01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:28,040 Speaker 1: good point. Also, though about the ways that you know 1279 01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:31,680 Speaker 1: partners and friends can show up is not making assumptions. 1280 01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:35,560 Speaker 1: You know, it's like, for one person this could be 1281 01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:40,520 Speaker 1: the hardest, most painful thing. Where is the joy? It's 1282 01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:42,960 Speaker 1: really hard to find in the beginning. For somebody else 1283 01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,600 Speaker 1: that could just be the ups the highs. So how 1284 01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:47,960 Speaker 1: are you? As a much better question than are you 1285 01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:51,880 Speaker 1: totally blissed out? Great great example. Yes, the other are 1286 01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,320 Speaker 1: you is so appreciated. The other thing I would really 1287 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:59,720 Speaker 1: push here too is partners also really need breaks. And partners, 1288 01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:01,840 Speaker 1: even they may not be going through this sort of 1289 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:06,240 Speaker 1: physiological changes that the new mom is going through, necessarily 1290 01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:10,760 Speaker 1: a partner can really also benefit from staying strong, getting 1291 01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:14,240 Speaker 1: the chance to exercise, getting to see friends, getting some 1292 01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:17,920 Speaker 1: support with groceries, whatever else it is. And you know, 1293 01:04:18,040 --> 01:04:20,720 Speaker 1: I think sometimes partners get sort of neglected in that 1294 01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,320 Speaker 1: and just to make sure they're also getting a break. 1295 01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:28,360 Speaker 1: It's really really true. Um, does a mother's post part 1296 01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:31,800 Speaker 1: of depression affect the baby can affect other children in 1297 01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,440 Speaker 1: the household. That's so that's a good question, you know. 1298 01:04:34,640 --> 01:04:38,320 Speaker 1: The short answer is yes, if you are. And this 1299 01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:41,240 Speaker 1: is what makes the case for really again preventive care 1300 01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:43,840 Speaker 1: here and also taking care of yourself if you are 1301 01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:47,920 Speaker 1: feeling these symptoms. Um, you know, we for the best 1302 01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:52,440 Speaker 1: sort of attachment between mother and child, mother needs to 1303 01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:55,280 Speaker 1: be present. Now, of course, all mothers are sleepless, so 1304 01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:58,120 Speaker 1: this doesn't mean present, doesn't mean that you're well rested 1305 01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:01,960 Speaker 1: and bright eyed and bushy tailed, but emotionally available to 1306 01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:06,000 Speaker 1: your child. So really doing your best to manage your 1307 01:05:06,120 --> 01:05:08,680 Speaker 1: symptoms is going to help you be more available to 1308 01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,680 Speaker 1: your child, and your child in turn will feel, you know, 1309 01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:16,439 Speaker 1: safer and soothed and more understood. And I know they'll 1310 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:19,160 Speaker 1: sound like lofty ideas for a baby, but that's really 1311 01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:23,240 Speaker 1: what sort of fosters a secure attachment between mother and child, 1312 01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:26,040 Speaker 1: that sense that their mother or their their caregiver is 1313 01:05:26,040 --> 01:05:30,120 Speaker 1: available to them. So what do you think it means? 1314 01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:35,040 Speaker 1: When I was only was nursing Albie and so sad, 1315 01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:37,040 Speaker 1: and the only relief I would have would be to 1316 01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:41,120 Speaker 1: live stream what is that show? And one TV show 1317 01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:44,400 Speaker 1: that had a lot of like a lot of sex scenes, Lucy, 1318 01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,080 Speaker 1: lots of softcore porn going on while I was nursing 1319 01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:53,320 Speaker 1: my son. I don't know what Outlander. Let me ask you, 1320 01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:59,680 Speaker 1: this didn't make you happier parenting win. Sometimes I would 1321 01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:02,440 Speaker 1: turn a space. I'd be like, oh my gosh, is 1322 01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:05,120 Speaker 1: this show on showtime? What what network is this on? 1323 01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:07,320 Speaker 1: I'm so used to being on ABC. We can't even 1324 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:09,480 Speaker 1: like thrust, you know. It's like, oh my gosh, I'm 1325 01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,520 Speaker 1: watching this And my mother and mother in law were 1326 01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:14,320 Speaker 1: the women who recommended that show to me. So I 1327 01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:17,600 Speaker 1: would like to say that, um, is it common for 1328 01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:21,840 Speaker 1: partners who did not give birth to experience postpartum depression? Yes? 1329 01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:25,959 Speaker 1: What I did not know that it is not. Once again, 1330 01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:30,720 Speaker 1: there's a different, you know, sort of physical physiological component 1331 01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:34,560 Speaker 1: to it. But so many of the changes are happening 1332 01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:37,960 Speaker 1: to partners too. It is a major overhaul of sleep, 1333 01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:43,480 Speaker 1: eating routine, all of the identity. There was an identity 1334 01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:46,320 Speaker 1: big time. You know. There was a study out last 1335 01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:51,360 Speaker 1: year that said something like ten percent of men experienced 1336 01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:54,400 Speaker 1: some form of postpartum depression, and I would say, as 1337 01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:57,680 Speaker 1: with women who I think it's around, let me tell you, 1338 01:06:57,720 --> 01:07:01,040 Speaker 1: both of those numbers are low. There's a lot under reported, 1339 01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:07,280 Speaker 1: but even the underreported number for men was at ten percent, 1340 01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:10,440 Speaker 1: So I think that's something to keep in mind. And 1341 01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:14,760 Speaker 1: in general for partners, the fact that, especially in the beginning, 1342 01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:20,240 Speaker 1: you're relinquishing routine control order all of the above, it 1343 01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:22,760 Speaker 1: is a major As you said, I'm probably that is 1344 01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:24,760 Speaker 1: in a way too, you know, like all of a sudden, 1345 01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,720 Speaker 1: if you've been in a relationship and the partner has 1346 01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:28,640 Speaker 1: been number one for a long time and this baby 1347 01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:31,280 Speaker 1: comes in, you know, and a lot of attention is 1348 01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:32,960 Speaker 1: obviously on the baby. I mean, it's got to be 1349 01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:38,800 Speaker 1: so crazy for relationships. And um, what are some common 1350 01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:42,800 Speaker 1: misconceptions about postpartum depression and the women were experiencing it? Um, 1351 01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:45,640 Speaker 1: great question. I think we hit a little bit on 1352 01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:48,960 Speaker 1: something really important to me, which is this idea that 1353 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,520 Speaker 1: if I'm not feeling this so severely, Oh, I'm not 1354 01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:54,480 Speaker 1: feeling suicidal. I don't want to hurt my baby. I'm fine, 1355 01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:58,320 Speaker 1: I should just pull up my bootstraps. No, if you 1356 01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:01,040 Speaker 1: are feeling so bad, And again, it really feels like 1357 01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:04,320 Speaker 1: you're not able to enjoy, You're not able to feel 1358 01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:07,760 Speaker 1: like yourself at all. You deserve support. The baby deserves 1359 01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:11,000 Speaker 1: you to have support. That's a big one. Um. The 1360 01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:13,360 Speaker 1: other one that I feel like gets sort of washed 1361 01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:16,439 Speaker 1: away because we hear a lot about postpartum depression is 1362 01:08:16,479 --> 01:08:23,080 Speaker 1: postpartum anxiety. Hello, Hello, hell exists, and it's insane. It's crazy. 1363 01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:25,599 Speaker 1: It's so intense, and people don't talk about it as 1364 01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:29,120 Speaker 1: much because they assume it's a normal part of new motherhood. 1365 01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:32,599 Speaker 1: And again, normal doesn't mean we don't want to give 1366 01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:35,639 Speaker 1: it support. Right. All of these things are very common, 1367 01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:37,400 Speaker 1: they happen to a lot of people. We still want 1368 01:08:37,439 --> 01:08:40,960 Speaker 1: to give support. But postpartum anxiety, for example, I had 1369 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:43,120 Speaker 1: a client who was like, I was up all night 1370 01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,080 Speaker 1: staring at the baby monitor, right, I just wanted to 1371 01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:48,040 Speaker 1: make sure she was still breathing. Now, I been there, 1372 01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:52,480 Speaker 1: done that, right, Right. I don't think that's a shocking, 1373 01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:56,599 Speaker 1: shocking notion to anybody. But nonetheless, if that's happening every night, 1374 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:58,559 Speaker 1: and in your sad two hour window that you were 1375 01:08:58,600 --> 01:09:01,200 Speaker 1: supposed to get sleep, you couldn't because you're staring at 1376 01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:04,479 Speaker 1: the baby monitor. That's where we see anxiety starting to 1377 01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:08,960 Speaker 1: interfere with function. You need that sleep, right, or just 1378 01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:12,840 Speaker 1: incessant worry about the health and safety of the baby. Now, 1379 01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:17,240 Speaker 1: are all new parents worried as a baby? Okay? Am 1380 01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:21,519 Speaker 1: I doing this right? I think so? I think so. 1381 01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,080 Speaker 1: But again, when it makes it so you can't sleep, 1382 01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:26,040 Speaker 1: you can't eat, and you can't do the things you 1383 01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:28,040 Speaker 1: need to do to take care of yourself and the baby, 1384 01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:30,760 Speaker 1: that's anxiety getting too big, and we really want to 1385 01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:36,879 Speaker 1: see some support around that. Also. Support support, support, support 1386 01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:42,240 Speaker 1: key words here, Um, is there anything else that comes 1387 01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:44,160 Speaker 1: to mind that you feel like we didn't touch on 1388 01:09:44,439 --> 01:09:48,280 Speaker 1: or that needs to be mentioned? I think, I think, 1389 01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:52,479 Speaker 1: really this you've been so helpful, and I think really 1390 01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:56,040 Speaker 1: the key here is that you really shouldn't wait for 1391 01:09:56,080 --> 01:10:00,280 Speaker 1: this distinction of postpartum depression of weeks and weeks leads 1392 01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:04,400 Speaker 1: of feeling not like yourself and pretty dark before you 1393 01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:07,559 Speaker 1: get help, so much so that you should probably have 1394 01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:10,400 Speaker 1: a support system in place before you have a baby. Yes, yes, 1395 01:10:10,520 --> 01:10:14,040 Speaker 1: I would just add that there's a very real yes, 1396 01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:16,280 Speaker 1: but that I hear from a lot of people, which 1397 01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:21,040 Speaker 1: is yes, but there's no time I'm nursing. I'm I'm pumping, 1398 01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:24,479 Speaker 1: I'm exhausted. I can't get out, I can't get to therapy, 1399 01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:27,280 Speaker 1: I can't get to a support group. And I say 1400 01:10:27,600 --> 01:10:31,280 Speaker 1: make time, fine time. But I also say, there's so 1401 01:10:31,320 --> 01:10:34,960 Speaker 1: many resources. Again I keep pointing to the online resources, 1402 01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:38,639 Speaker 1: because there's a lot um you know, even therapy now 1403 01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:42,320 Speaker 1: there you can do talking to an hour on the phone, 1404 01:10:42,320 --> 01:10:45,640 Speaker 1: but you can even do there's asynchronistic therapy. There's platforms 1405 01:10:45,680 --> 01:10:47,640 Speaker 1: that let you and again we can put this in 1406 01:10:47,680 --> 01:10:51,240 Speaker 1: the show notes, but let you interact, you know, completely online. 1407 01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:53,400 Speaker 1: You don't have to drive somewhere. You can be nursing 1408 01:10:53,400 --> 01:10:56,800 Speaker 1: and doing therapy. You know, I did that. There you go. 1409 01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:59,599 Speaker 1: I did that, there you go, had to, had to 1410 01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:04,400 Speaker 1: And the world can adapt to help you adapt to 1411 01:11:04,439 --> 01:11:07,640 Speaker 1: the situation. So don't let time be what stops you 1412 01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:10,839 Speaker 1: from getting is the support you need. I have found 1413 01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:14,600 Speaker 1: so much so that motherhood is really just facing a 1414 01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:17,519 Speaker 1: lot about being very vulnerable, asking for help when you 1415 01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:21,720 Speaker 1: need it, and kind of letting go of what you 1416 01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:24,479 Speaker 1: of what people think of you, or it's just been 1417 01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:26,920 Speaker 1: a real growth and what do you think of you? 1418 01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:31,240 Speaker 1: I think mitigating your own expectation exactly right to expect 1419 01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:36,519 Speaker 1: the same behavior from yourself. And again major biosy psychosocial change. 1420 01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:40,040 Speaker 1: And also you don't have your regular coping mechanisms. It's 1421 01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:41,519 Speaker 1: not like, oh, I'm just gonna go for a run 1422 01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:44,759 Speaker 1: and go to yoga and I'm gonna see my friends 1423 01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:46,640 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna go to movie and just relax for 1424 01:11:46,640 --> 01:11:49,320 Speaker 1: a little while. Like you can't. You're gonna fight to 1425 01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,880 Speaker 1: get some of those things into your life again. But 1426 01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:55,040 Speaker 1: certainly in the first six weeks postpartum, you know, when 1427 01:11:55,040 --> 01:12:00,000 Speaker 1: you're healing, you know it's not possible. It's not possible, 1428 01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:03,120 Speaker 1: So your expectations need to change. Also so true, there's 1429 01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:05,280 Speaker 1: just lots of different ways to get help, and I 1430 01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:11,120 Speaker 1: think that's really important. And also again thinking about the stigma, 1431 01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:14,360 Speaker 1: I just want to really honor that. Like we're saying 1432 01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:18,200 Speaker 1: with the baby Blues, like most women have some kind 1433 01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:26,559 Speaker 1: of emotional reaction to having it's a big deal, right right. 1434 01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:28,640 Speaker 1: My friend just went back to work yesterday and she 1435 01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:31,519 Speaker 1: sent a text. She's like seeing her friends and she's like, oh, hey, 1436 01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:33,280 Speaker 1: what's up, guys, what you've been doing? And she's like, 1437 01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:37,480 Speaker 1: you know, I just created life, Like it's so bizarre 1438 01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:39,240 Speaker 1: to her, you know, like she's going through this whole 1439 01:12:39,320 --> 01:12:42,800 Speaker 1: thing now of like so it's just endless changes, and 1440 01:12:43,479 --> 01:12:46,040 Speaker 1: I think support any way you can get it, and 1441 01:12:46,120 --> 01:12:48,800 Speaker 1: making time for yourself for that support, whether it is 1442 01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:52,640 Speaker 1: with a therapist traditionally speaking or on the phone or online, 1443 01:12:52,720 --> 01:12:55,280 Speaker 1: or a mommy and me class you know, those I 1444 01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:58,200 Speaker 1: found really helpful to just being in other groups with 1445 01:12:58,280 --> 01:13:01,080 Speaker 1: mommies being like, oh, we're not by our elf, Like, 1446 01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:04,000 Speaker 1: this sucks for you, this sucks for me, Like you 1447 01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:07,240 Speaker 1: know what I mean. It's the relief of someone else saying, oh, yeah, 1448 01:13:07,360 --> 01:13:09,439 Speaker 1: me too. I want to burn that yoga ball because 1449 01:13:09,479 --> 01:13:11,760 Speaker 1: I was bouncing all night on it, you know, the 1450 01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:16,880 Speaker 1: relief of joining with other people in what is a 1451 01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:23,880 Speaker 1: profound experience. Yes, super profound, super profound. This was amazing. 1452 01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:27,920 Speaker 1: Thank you, Lucy, Thank you all of our hearts. Um, 1453 01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:29,479 Speaker 1: we are going to list a bunch of the things 1454 01:13:29,560 --> 01:13:33,719 Speaker 1: Lucy has mentioned in this podcast, and thank you guys 1455 01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:37,559 Speaker 1: so much for tuning into Katie's career. Thank you guys 1456 01:13:37,640 --> 01:13:40,320 Speaker 1: so much for listening. Make sure you subscribe to the 1457 01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:44,040 Speaker 1: podcast and tell your friends and also hit me up 1458 01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:45,880 Speaker 1: tell me what you think are their topics. You want 1459 01:13:45,920 --> 01:14:00,479 Speaker 1: me to discuss thoughts, questions, comments, Thanks guys one two,