Speaker 1: Hi, guys, welcome to my podcast, Cheeky's and Chill. I
Speaker 1: hope that you're having a beautiful day and you have
Speaker 1: a wonderful week or weekend. Hi am going to take
Speaker 1: a deep breath because today I'm going to talk about
Speaker 1: something that I mentioned earlier on in the season. It's
Speaker 1: a personal one. This is what I love about my podcast.
Speaker 1: You guys give me the opportunity to speak to you
Speaker 1: and share my deepest thoughts and feelings, and that's what
Speaker 1: I'm going to do today. So again, earlier this season,
Speaker 1: I mentioned that I was going to file paperwork to
Speaker 1: go see my dad and it was accepted and I
Speaker 1: did go see him. So I'm going to tell you
Speaker 1: all about that. So take a deep breath with me. Okay.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys have watched chiki sinfintro.
Speaker 1: It is my docu follow and they did follow me
Speaker 1: to go see my dad. Didn't talk much about the
Speaker 1: details there, just that I went to go see him.
Speaker 1: They weren't able to go in with me the cameras.
Speaker 1: So this is my space and my time and my
Speaker 1: opportunity to explain to you exactly what happened and what
Speaker 1: we talked about and how it went. First of all,
Speaker 1: I decided to go see him because it's something that
Speaker 1: had been in my heart for a while. For a
Speaker 1: long time, I didn't want to, and in all fairness
Speaker 1: and honesty, he didn't want to see me either. So
Speaker 1: then time passed by. Time went by, and my sister
Speaker 1: Jackie has been the one that has gone to go
Speaker 1: see him, and you know, she's gotten a lot of
Speaker 1: heat for it, and I don't necessary really agree with
Speaker 1: it because people say that, Okay, how can you do
Speaker 1: that to your sister Jackie? Like she went through this,
Speaker 1: She went through that like I feel like, First of all,
Speaker 1: she asked me, and I said, yes, sister, thank you
Speaker 1: for asking me. You don't have to because that's still
Speaker 1: your dad, that's still a relationship that you had and
Speaker 1: things that you need to heal. But I do appreciate
Speaker 1: you asking me. So she did ask me. I gave
Speaker 1: her my blessing. I gave her the green light, and
Speaker 1: she started like a friendship with him. Anyways, So why
Speaker 1: I decided to go see him, because for I mean,
Speaker 1: I forgave my dad a long time ago. I forget
Speaker 1: I forgave him. He never asked for forgiveness. I just
Speaker 1: that's something that I learned in church and through my mother,
Speaker 1: and I saw how she forgave, and I just that's
Speaker 1: who I am, you know, at my core, and I
Speaker 1: forgave him because I didn't want to hold onto that
Speaker 1: and like carry that weight around with me for the
Speaker 1: rest of my life. I always tell you guys that
Speaker 1: forgiveness is not for the other person, but for yourself.
Speaker 1: So I kind of put that to the side for
Speaker 1: a long time. What happened with my dad the sexual abuse.
Speaker 1: For those of you that may not know, I was
Speaker 1: sexually abused by my father when I was young. And
Speaker 1: he's now in jail thirty five years, no chance of
Speaker 1: parole or thirty years, thirty thirty years. Anyways, the point
Speaker 1: is he's been in there for seventeen So for a
Speaker 1: long time I was kind of like, Okay, I have
Speaker 1: no dad, you know, it's just my mom, my siblings
Speaker 1: and I and that's it. And then my mom passed
Speaker 1: away and he felt really bad, so he tried to
Speaker 1: come around and talk to us, and I wasn't ready.
Speaker 1: I was like, why now, why because my mom's not here.
Speaker 1: But in his defense, he was like, you know what
Speaker 1: I felt bad. I wasn't a great dad, your mom's gone. Like,
Speaker 1: if there's anything that I can do and show you guys,
Speaker 1: I'm here. I'm going to do that. Took me a
Speaker 1: while to accept it, and then I went through my
Speaker 1: first divorce, and after that I realized that I had
Speaker 1: daddy issues, that I had things that I needed to
Speaker 1: work through, and I thought, Okay, I'm older. I went
Speaker 1: to there like I'm fine. But after that divorce, things
Speaker 1: like resurfaced and I was like, oh my gosh, because
Speaker 1: I gott as I as I'm so I was getting older.
Speaker 1: I noticed that things that I hadn't healed were affecting
Speaker 1: my relationships the way that I was in my relationships,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I need to stop this, Like
Speaker 1: I don't want to continue attracting this type of treatment,
Speaker 1: not loving myself enough, and just so many things that
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, it's coming and stemming from the relationship.
Speaker 1: I still like I had a heal with my mom
Speaker 1: and certain things that I needed to heal, but also
Speaker 1: with my dad. And so when Emilio asked me to
Speaker 1: marry him, that's when I was like, Okay, I really
Speaker 1: need to face this. I really need to close this
Speaker 1: circle to get this this closure. And I asked Emilia
Speaker 1: if he'd be down to go with me, and he
Speaker 1: said yeah. So to me that was confirmation because in
Speaker 1: my past relationships they weren't down, they were like no,
Speaker 1: absolutely not. But Emilia was very open and he said yes,
Speaker 1: like I think you should. I think you should go
Speaker 1: see him and hear what he has to say, especially
Speaker 1: if he's also ready, and that also gave me confirmation
Speaker 1: and made me feel peace. So anyways, we decided to go,
Speaker 1: and that's the reason why, because I felt like I
Speaker 1: needed to close to get closure with my mom, which
Speaker 1: is why I went to Monterrey to go see her,
Speaker 1: you know, and to feel and I just I got
Speaker 1: this closure that I needed and this piece in my
Speaker 1: heart and then my dad, so before I got married,
Speaker 1: that was the whole thing. So anyways, I thought of
Speaker 1: my paperwork the first time I was denied. Then I
Speaker 1: let like a year pass by and I said, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try it again and I'm gonna also file
Speaker 1: Emilios and we were both did and it took some
Speaker 1: time to go out there, and so anyways, the day
Speaker 1: came I went to go see him and I was trembling.
Speaker 1: I was so scared. I felt like a little girl.
Speaker 1: Like I was like, oh my god, I was so nervous.
Speaker 1: I'm grown, I go on stage, I do so many things,
Speaker 1: like so much has happened, like I couldn't. I almost
Speaker 1: didn't recognize myself, like with how nervous I was, and
Speaker 1: in media, I was like, I've never seen this. I
Speaker 1: was very vulnerable and I felt very safe because I
Speaker 1: was with Jackie, my sister, and Emilio, but I was
Speaker 1: a different person. I didn't recognize myself. I was like,
Speaker 1: who is this person? Like I was just so nervous.
Speaker 1: And we get there and everything was kind of going
Speaker 1: wrong because the cameras were there. We didn't ask for permission.
Speaker 1: They can't be on site, you know, and we didn't
Speaker 1: know that. So that was one thing. I was like,
Speaker 1: they're about to kick us out. I'm not gonna be
Speaker 1: able to do this. But they recognized me and they
Speaker 1: were really nice to said, hey, you know, can't have this.
Speaker 1: There's so many restrictions, guys. You can't wear a wired brawl,
Speaker 1: you can't wear any logos, you can't show any cleavage,
Speaker 1: you can't wear anything tight. You can't have it, like
Speaker 1: you have to take coins to like for the vending machine,
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of rules. So it's my first time,
Speaker 1: and my sister, I think forgot so anyway, she had
Speaker 1: to go get a sweater. It was just this whole thing,
Speaker 1: so mind you. I'm thinking I'm gonna go straight in there,
Speaker 1: but no, so here I am, which is kind of
Speaker 1: cool because it took us at least forty five minutes
Speaker 1: to get accepted, to get in there, to show everything,
Speaker 1: like we couldn't take our phone, it's everything. So it
Speaker 1: gave me a little bit of time to just realize
Speaker 1: where I was and what I was doing. So I
Speaker 1: was sitting there waiting and my legs were like literally trembling,
Speaker 1: and finally they let us through. I'm walking to where
Speaker 1: he is to like the meeting site, and I almost
Speaker 1: turned back. I was like, no, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do this. I want to go home. I was like,
Speaker 1: let's go, and they're like no, it's okay, Like thank goodness,
Speaker 1: like a milios of music, It's okay, babe, like it's fine,
Speaker 1: we're here, let's do it. I'm like okay, to good
Speaker 1: deep breaths. It was very very like mind you. I'm
Speaker 1: it's weird because the energy at any like prison is
Speaker 1: very different. I'm not necessarily saying like negative, but just cold.
Speaker 1: There was no one. Everyone was, I guess in their
Speaker 1: cells like there was not There wasn't anyone in sight,
Speaker 1: and it was just this weird feeling. Not scared, but
Speaker 1: I was just I don't know, it's weird. I don't
Speaker 1: even know how to explain it. So anyways, we get there.
Speaker 1: First I thought he was already going to be sitting there,
Speaker 1: so I could see him from the outside as there
Speaker 1: was windows. And again you have to go like through
Speaker 1: another process before going into like this open space where
Speaker 1: there's vending machines and tables and you know, and there's
Speaker 1: security in there, like you know, the the officers or whatnot.
Speaker 1: But he wasn't there, and I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: I was like okay. So then we had to sit
Speaker 1: down and I was like okay. I was like okay.
Speaker 1: So we down and I was still like where do
Speaker 1: I say, like do I want to sit next to him?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, I want to sit in front
Speaker 1: of him. I want to see him. So I sat
Speaker 1: in front and then it was Emilio and Jackie. I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, cool, I feel protected. I felt like,
Speaker 1: in a weird way, I need to feel protected. And
Speaker 1: then like maybe five minutes later, he comes out and
Speaker 1: I stood up and he it was like I could
Speaker 1: see him from when he came out of the door
Speaker 1: and like walking towards and I was like, I was
Speaker 1: like as soon as I walked into that place, I
Speaker 1: was just like crying. I was like, oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. I don't want to
Speaker 1: do this, like they're like, you have to You're fine,
Speaker 1: You're fine, dude. I was a freaking baby. It was
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing. Anyways, he comes out and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: should I hug him? Should I not hug him? And
Speaker 1: my heart felt like yes. I don't want to be like,
Speaker 1: oh hey Dad. You know, I didn't even know if
Speaker 1: I was going to call him dad. I didn't even
Speaker 1: I didn't plan anything. So he said hi to Jackie,
Speaker 1: hugged her, said hi to Emdio, and then he saw
Speaker 1: me and then he gave me his hand. I guess
Speaker 1: he also felt like, okay, maybe she doesn't want to
Speaker 1: hug me. But I pulled him in and I gave
Speaker 1: him a hug. I said, hi, Dad, It just happened naturally,
Speaker 1: and he said hi. And he only speaks Spanish. He
Speaker 1: understands English, but we were speaking in Spanish. And then
Speaker 1: he asked me. He's like, can I sit where you're
Speaker 1: sitting because I need to see the officer. I'm like okay.
Speaker 1: He's like, we're always supposed to. I'm like okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So we turned around. I was still in the middle
Speaker 1: because I was like, I want to feel protected, you know.
Speaker 1: And it was very awkward, awkward at first that we
Speaker 1: were both who couldn't look in each other's eyes, Like
Speaker 1: I was nervous, he was nervous. Thank goodness for my
Speaker 1: sister that she had been there with him. And I
Speaker 1: think everything happens the way it should be, the way
Speaker 1: it's supposed to happen. I mean, because my sister already
Speaker 1: had some type of like relationship with him. So they
Speaker 1: were like joking around and I think that helped him
Speaker 1: calm down, and it helped me calm down. And anyways,
Speaker 1: it took us a while to get to like the
Speaker 1: nitty gritty because I was I was there to handle business.
Speaker 1: I was like, I need to know if he's going
Speaker 1: to accept things, because the only way we can move
Speaker 1: forward is if he accepts. For me, that was important
Speaker 1: if you accept and you apologize to me. If not,
Speaker 1: then I have no interest in even entertaining some type
Speaker 1: of relationship. So I was kind of like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: what are we going to talk about? I was like,
Speaker 1: are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Because you know, we
Speaker 1: could buy stuff from the vending machine and I like
Speaker 1: to eat, as you guys know, so that helps me
Speaker 1: with my nerves. So I was like, I need to
Speaker 1: get something, like some chips or something. He didn't want anything.
Speaker 1: Jackie's like, he never eats, He never accepts anything he
Speaker 1: doesn't like, you know. So anyways, we just talked about
Speaker 1: his family, we talked about how he was doing, and
Speaker 1: then finally he's like, do you have any questions? And
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I don't have any questions. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to ask anything to kind of like I
Speaker 1: didn't want to be the one to like prompt him,
Speaker 1: you know. I was like, no, I don't have any questions.
Speaker 1: Do you have anything you have to tell me? And
Speaker 1: he looked at me and he said, yes, I've seen
Speaker 1: you on TV. I've heard your podcast. He listened to
Speaker 1: my podcast, and he said, I know that there are
Speaker 1: words that you want to hear, and I'm more ready
Speaker 1: than ever. So then I said, okay. I said, wait,
Speaker 1: actually I do have a question. I said okay. I said,
Speaker 1: did you were you mad at me? And he said
Speaker 1: for a long time, I was very mad at you.
Speaker 1: He said, for a long time I was, And I
Speaker 1: said okay. He said I didn't understand. I hadn't accepted
Speaker 1: a lot of things, and I wanted to blame other
Speaker 1: people and not realize what I had done. So he said, yes,
Speaker 1: that he was upset. I was like, I felt it.
Speaker 1: He's like, were you mad at me? I said no,
Speaker 1: just until my mom died. I was like, that's when
Speaker 1: I got mad at you, because you were trying to
Speaker 1: come around. I didn't understand. I was like, why now,
Speaker 1: like why not when my mom was alive? And I
Speaker 1: was like, then I kind of got angry. But I
Speaker 1: was very angry during that time. Twenty thirteen twenty fourteen
Speaker 1: were not good years for me. I was like, I
Speaker 1: was pissed at the world. So yes, I was mad
Speaker 1: at you just then and then before that, No, And
Speaker 1: I told her he said, I've always said it. You
Speaker 1: were a good dad, you know, and you did things
Speaker 1: that I'm not I can't excuse, but I can't say
Speaker 1: you were a horrible father, as weird as that sounds.
Speaker 1: And he said, no, I was. I was not a
Speaker 1: good dad. It was not a good dad to you guys.
Speaker 1: And I could have been better and I could have
Speaker 1: been more present, and I'm sorry for that. And then
Speaker 1: then he said, I also heard in one of your
Speaker 1: interviews that I think it's kind of funny, you know,
Speaker 1: like it's like, how weird is it for him to like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's my daughter, you know what I mean? Like I
Speaker 1: could just I put myself into shoes. Because he's also
Speaker 1: said before he's like, it's weird because people here will
Speaker 1: call me Suegrol, which means father in law because they
Speaker 1: think you're Cue and it just bothers me and it's
Speaker 1: like the weirdest thing or whatever. So anyways, so he
Speaker 1: told me, I saw an interview and where you said
Speaker 1: that people have called you a liar since you were little.
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, I said, it's started because of this situation,
Speaker 1: I said, and that's one thing that I've struggled with
Speaker 1: because it's always like, always called a liar, you know, like,
Speaker 1: oh she's lying about this if if it wasn't from you,
Speaker 1: it's from your family. And it really bothered me, and
Speaker 1: it really affected me. And he said, well, I want
Speaker 1: you to know that you're not a liar. And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. I was like, thank you.
Speaker 1: He's like, you're not a liar, and you only know
Speaker 1: what happened to you, and don't let anyone make you
Speaker 1: feel like you are wrong for feeling the way that
Speaker 1: you feel and for speaking your truth. He's like, does
Speaker 1: it make me feel uncomfortable that you speak about it
Speaker 1: so often? Yes, it does, but that's your truth and
Speaker 1: you have all the right to share it. It's like,
Speaker 1: I don't understand it completely because obviously I'm on the
Speaker 1: other end, but that's your truth. I said thank you,
Speaker 1: and then he looked in my eyes and said better
Speaker 1: name said forgive me. Oh my god. I lost it.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. I have been dying
Speaker 1: to hear those words forever. I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: You know, we didn't talk about details, but he did
Speaker 1: look in my eyes and his eyes were watering. He
Speaker 1: said to forgive him. He said I'm sorry. I didn't understand.
Speaker 1: For a long time, I was upset at the world
Speaker 1: at God. He was young when he was in there,
Speaker 1: you know, when they incarcerated him. So and then I
Speaker 1: told him, I was like, I don't agree with the
Speaker 1: amount of time they gave you. I just feel because
Speaker 1: it was such a a public court case, that they
Speaker 1: gave you a lot of time. I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't agree with that. And I mean, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a justice system, but I don't agree with it.
Speaker 1: And then he said that, He's like, no, it's like,
Speaker 1: I understand. I've heard and I've read a lot of books,
Speaker 1: and I've done a lot of research, and I do
Speaker 1: feel that I got a lot of time. He's like,
Speaker 1: but but God knew why I needed to be here
Speaker 1: and the amount of time, because barely a few years
Speaker 1: ago I started realizing and reading on a lot of
Speaker 1: things and what I did and understanding, and I didn't
Speaker 1: understand what I had done wrong until I started realizing.
Speaker 1: He's like, so the time that I've been here, he's
Speaker 1: been there seventeen years. He's like, I literally it's been
Speaker 1: seven years that I was like, I realized what I
Speaker 1: had done and I don't want to put his business
Speaker 1: out there because it's I you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But he's accepted a lot of things, and he also
Speaker 1: realized that things happen in his life, you know. And
Speaker 1: it was one of my worries or my concerns or
Speaker 1: my doubts, my questions, and he answered my questions, but
Speaker 1: he didn't understand that certain things were wrong, that a
Speaker 1: lot of things were wrong, you know. And now he does,
Speaker 1: and I think that shows a lot of growth, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's what I wanted to feel. I wanted to
Speaker 1: go in there and hear those words and really feel
Speaker 1: if they were sincere. And I definitely felt that they
Speaker 1: were sincere. And his change is sincere. It's weird because
Speaker 1: since that day, he's called me a few times. We've
Speaker 1: spent time on the phone, like forty five minutes, and
Speaker 1: he called me on my birthday and he gives me
Speaker 1: advice on my relationship. He loved Emilio, you guys, like
Speaker 1: he was. Like it was the weirdest thing because not
Speaker 1: that I needed him to accept him, because this is
Speaker 1: before we got married, but like it was they looked
Speaker 1: into each other's eyes and immediately I think that I
Speaker 1: think that's so awesome of him as a man, like
Speaker 1: knowing what happened. I've never really told him details at all.
Speaker 1: I really haven't spoken about the details to anyone, but
Speaker 1: he knows what happened, like he's doesn't hold any anger
Speaker 1: or anything towards him, And I think that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: And I think he felt that from Emilio, so he
Speaker 1: felt like, I really like this guy. He even told
Speaker 1: me later on when we spoke, He's like, I really
Speaker 1: like him. He looks like he has a very a
Speaker 1: very nice heart. I could see through his eyes that
Speaker 1: he has a good soultie when Alma and I was like,
Speaker 1: he does. So it's almost like he gave me like
Speaker 1: his blessing. But I wasn't really looking for that, but
Speaker 1: it felt good to get it from at least one
Speaker 1: of my parents, you know. And I know a lot
Speaker 1: of people are not going to understand and think that
Speaker 1: it's weird that I went to see him. And people
Speaker 1: always wonder what you're or I've said they've now that
Speaker 1: you know they saw it on the docu follow they've
Speaker 1: commented like your mom would be so mad, like I
Speaker 1: can't believe you did that. That's betraying her. I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: you guys don't know my mom's heart. I guarantee you
Speaker 1: that my mother would have taken us to see him.
Speaker 1: I know my mom's heart. My mom was an impulsive
Speaker 1: woman and sometimes would get upset about things and like,
Speaker 1: you know, not talk to you, I shouldn't talk to
Speaker 1: me for two months. But she would always come around,
Speaker 1: and she would always apologize if she was a little
Speaker 1: hard for her to apologize, but she would like with
Speaker 1: something like that, or she was a very forgiving, you know,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, she would have gone, she would have
Speaker 1: taken us. She would always She actually said a few
Speaker 1: times that she said, one day, I'm going to take
Speaker 1: you guys to see your dad, because Jackie was the
Speaker 1: one that would cry for him more and didn't really understand,
Speaker 1: and she said, I'm gonna take you one day. I'll
Speaker 1: take you. My mom's in heaven. But I do feel
Speaker 1: like when I went to the Mountain to see my mom,
Speaker 1: I felt like in a way because I had so
Speaker 1: many questions within myself that they were answered on that day,
Speaker 1: like let go, it's okay. Like I feel like she
Speaker 1: was even with me on that day to go see
Speaker 1: my dad. So I know people will be confused and
Speaker 1: not understand, but you guys, I have a whole book
Speaker 1: on it, you know, forgiveness better going in Spanish talking
Speaker 1: about forgiveness and the importance of it and how it
Speaker 1: liberates you to become your best self, to accomplish things.
Speaker 1: And I feel like it's helped me a lot. And
Speaker 1: even with this, it just made me feel more sure
Speaker 1: about getting married. And I'm proud of myself. It's not easy.
Speaker 1: It was not easy, and I face this and I
Speaker 1: encourage you guys because I know this happens a lot.
Speaker 1: Sexual abuse is a real thing, you guys. And if
Speaker 1: it wasn't for my faith and for my therapy, I
Speaker 1: don't know where I would be, especially like with my mom,
Speaker 1: like never questioning me, and all of that has helped,
Speaker 1: and also forgiving. And some of us may not have
Speaker 1: the opportunity or the chance or the desire to face
Speaker 1: our abuser. But in this case it's different because it's
Speaker 1: my dad and I'm just I don't know. I'm proud
Speaker 1: of myself, I really really am, and I feel better
Speaker 1: ever since I did that. I feel like I healed
Speaker 1: my inner child because I felt like a little girl,
Speaker 1: and it just I don't know. So I don't know
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen from here. I don't know if if
Speaker 1: we're going to have a relationship, if you know, he
Speaker 1: has a lot more years in there, and I feel bad.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie because my damn, that's a long time,
Speaker 1: you know. But I'm leaving it in God's hands. And
Speaker 1: you know, I I worry for, you know, I asked
Speaker 1: for I asked about his daughter as well, and I
Speaker 1: know she's she's still like upset with me, and I
Speaker 1: don't blame her. Maybe some of his family members as well,
Speaker 1: they don't understand. But I think that he's accepted what happened,
Speaker 1: and I think that can change a lot of things,
Speaker 1: hopefully for the positive. They don't see him in a
Speaker 1: negative way because I do. I do worry, guys, because
Speaker 1: I definitely didn't want to show the prison that he
Speaker 1: was in, because I don't want to coust him issues,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I ask everyone to please,
Speaker 1: if you love me, if you care about me, not
Speaker 1: to make his life harder in there. Because I talk
Speaker 1: about this because it's part of my testimony, It's part
Speaker 1: of what I've gone through and what has made me
Speaker 1: the woman that I am today, but not to make
Speaker 1: him look bad and not to keep picking at that
Speaker 1: wound for him. And that's one thing I've been meaning
Speaker 1: to tell him because now he knows. You know that
Speaker 1: it's on the doc you follow and stuff. And I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to disturb their life or make it any
Speaker 1: harder at all. It's just also, this is my story
Speaker 1: and this happened to me, and I meant to heal
Speaker 1: other people. And I do feel bad and I worry
Speaker 1: for his safety and I just want to make sure
Speaker 1: he's okay, because I do feel that he has changed,
Speaker 1: and I do feel that people can change. You have
Speaker 1: to want to change, and I feel it and no
Speaker 1: one can say and tell me any different. Like I
Speaker 1: was there, I saw him. I have good discernment, and
Speaker 1: that's what I prayed for. I'm like, God, I want
Speaker 1: to feel if this change is real, and I do,
Speaker 1: because he even told me he's like, I don't understand
Speaker 1: completely why you talk about it so much or why
Speaker 1: you talked about it, but like I respect it and
Speaker 1: I understand that's your truth. Because it does cause him
Speaker 1: more issues, even with his family and that's not what
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do, guys, like at all. But I'm
Speaker 1: mentioning it here on the podcast because we've talked about
Speaker 1: it so much, and I did tell you guys that
Speaker 1: I had filed the paperwork, and now I'm ready to
Speaker 1: talk about it a little bit more in detail. There
Speaker 1: are things that it was like a five hour visit,
Speaker 1: so a lot of things. We talked about a lot
Speaker 1: of different things. But I don't feel necessarily comfortable talking
Speaker 1: about all of it because it's his personal story as well,
Speaker 1: and personal things that we talked about. But I am
Speaker 1: glad that I did it, and I'm glad that Emilia
Speaker 1: was there for me and my sister and that everything
Speaker 1: happened the way it was supposed to happen. And I
Speaker 1: feel like I got closure exactly what I needed to
Speaker 1: imagine so many years, you guys, so many years waiting
Speaker 1: for those words forgive me. I felt so validated, Like
Speaker 1: I felt like whoa, oh my gosh. Like I was like,
Speaker 1: I wish my mom was here to see it, but
Speaker 1: I know she was with me, but I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I felt validated. It just it put a smile on
Speaker 1: my face. Of course, I cried and I cried. After
Speaker 1: I left, I felt so weird, but like as the
Speaker 1: days went by, I just felt like fresh, I felt
Speaker 1: brand new. I it just it felt good to finally
Speaker 1: feel validated and scene because I felt like some people
Speaker 1: thought that I was lying or my mom put this
Speaker 1: in my head and that's not the truth. So yeah, guys,
Speaker 1: I mean, I hope that you guys learned something and
Speaker 1: feel empowered by this episode. And now that I'm here
Speaker 1: and I my dad told me that he listens and
Speaker 1: watches the podcast, I do want to say something to him.
Speaker 1: I'm saying in Spanish, guys, because you know that's how
Speaker 1: you know, we speaking communicating Spanish, So oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. Okay, dad, sos is this STEP podcast? The
Speaker 1: stepisodios or it's the josemos Pero a Reforce. So that
Speaker 1: was for my dad. So thank you guys again, Thank
Speaker 1: you guys so much for for listening, for watching. I
Speaker 1: appreciate you, and you know I love you, and anything
Speaker 1: I talk about on this podcast is to help you
Speaker 1: in any way. Hopefully it's not triggering for anyone, and
Speaker 1: hopefully the people that don't understand will eventually understand. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much, I love you, guys, and I'll catch
Speaker 1: you on the next episode of your favorite podcast, Cheekys
Speaker 1: and Chill. This is a production of iHeart Radio and
Speaker 1: Mike podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at mikea Podcasts
Speaker 1: and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q u
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Speaker 1: favorite shows.