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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes we'll get

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Speaker 1: into the episode.

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Speaker 2: My brother's wedding is a total nightmare? How do I

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Speaker 2: handle it?

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Speaker 3: Just wake up easy.

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Speaker 2: My twenty two year old brother Andrew and his twenty

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Speaker 2: one year old fiance Christy have been planning quote unquote

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Speaker 2: their wedding for over a year now. The date is

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Speaker 2: set for April twenty fifth of twenty fifteen. Initially she

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Speaker 2: had asked me to be a bridesmaid, but after she

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Speaker 2: also wanted my daughter to be a flower girl, my

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Speaker 2: husband to be a groomsman, me to do her makeup

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Speaker 2: and engagement photos as a gift to her and help

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Speaker 2: with details the day up, I felt it was too

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Speaker 2: much on one plate. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: user dreaming Miriette, and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subredit.

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Speaker 2: Quite frankly, I can't afford her very specific dress, a

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Speaker 2: floor length ball gown which she still has not selected.

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Speaker 2: Specific shoes, a tuxedo for my hobby of flower girl

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Speaker 2: dress for my daughter, high quality makeup in her skin tone,

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Speaker 2: and over five hundred dollars in photo sittings and editing.

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Speaker 2: It's just too much time and money that I don't have.

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Speaker 2: I sat her and my brother down and gently let

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Speaker 2: them know that I wouldn't be a bridesmaid. Though I

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Speaker 2: was honored she had chosen me, because I didn't think

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Speaker 2: i'd be a good bridesmaid with so much on my plate.

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Speaker 2: They seemed sad, but took it well and until recently,

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Speaker 2: had no further problems. Fast forward to this past weekend.

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Speaker 2: They came over for dinner and talked with me and

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Speaker 2: my mom about their wedding plans. I'm just going to

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Speaker 2: sum the ideas up here. They want to have their

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Speaker 2: ceremony outside. We mentioned that it would almost certainly be freezing.

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Speaker 2: On the same day this past year, it was thirty

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Speaker 2: degrees with fifteen mile an hour icy wind and ice rain.

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Speaker 2: Later in the day, Christie's response was, well, I should

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Speaker 2: be warm in my dress, it's pretty heavy. They have

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Speaker 2: a venue that has plenty of indoor areas, so they

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Speaker 2: can get married there in the worst case. Scenario, but

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Speaker 2: they basically have said, unless it's snowing or piss and rain,

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Speaker 2: it'll be outside. I'm sure her bride'smaids in their strapless

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Speaker 2: dresses and flip flops or slippers will love that. As

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Speaker 2: for my one year old daughter, I'm not forcing her

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Speaker 2: to stay out in the cold like that in a

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Speaker 2: tea length dress with no sleeves. I don't know how

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Speaker 2: to politely say, I'm not torturing my daughter or risking

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Speaker 2: her becoming ill because you want a spring wedding in

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Speaker 2: a wintery month. As for the date, they refuse to

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Speaker 2: change it. They've told us April twenty fifth has no significance,

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Speaker 2: is not an anniversary, and has nothing to do with

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Speaker 2: their relationship, but they will not change it, even though

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Speaker 2: we've gently mentioned hey may should be much warmer and

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Speaker 2: would definitely make it easier for an outdoor wedding, especially

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Speaker 2: for your guests. Their response is that April twenty fifth

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Speaker 2: is the date period and the guests don't matter because

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Speaker 2: it's their day. Whatever, that's fine, we'll bundle up. I

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Speaker 2: guess their plan is to have their ceremony under a

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Speaker 2: gazebo type structure. A very old family friend got some

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Speaker 2: online thing from some vague church so he could marry people.

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Speaker 2: He loves it. We've all known him since we were young,

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Speaker 2: and he offered to officiate my wedding and wrote a

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Speaker 2: wonderful ceremony for a hand fasting for my mom and

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Speaker 2: dad's twenty fifth anniversary slash vow renewal, all completely for free.

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Speaker 2: Andrew asked said family friend to officiate, and he accepted.

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Speaker 2: Last night, we told Christy and Andrew it's getting closer,

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Speaker 2: so they need to meet up with the officiants so

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Speaker 2: he can do an interview. They both asked, oh why.

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Speaker 2: We explained that the officiant was a close family friend,

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Speaker 2: that's why they asked him to do it, and he

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Speaker 2: likes to get a feel for the both of you

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Speaker 2: and your relationship so he can officiate a beautiful ceremony.

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Speaker 2: They don't want that. They just want a general do

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Speaker 2: you do you all right? Now? You're married? Okay, that

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Speaker 2: seems to defeat the purpose of a personal family friend

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Speaker 2: performing it, but if that's what they want anyway. Then

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Speaker 2: we asked what they were going to give the officiant

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Speaker 2: for a gift. They both said, nothing, no gift. Why

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Speaker 2: do they need to give him a gift. They're also

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Speaker 2: not paying him, and he's doing it for free. At

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Speaker 2: that point, my mom and I are afraid to hear more,

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Speaker 2: but we need to know what's going on. So after

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Speaker 2: their ceremony, their plan is to go to a wedding

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Speaker 2: luncheon with the wedding party only. That would include his parents,

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Speaker 2: her parents, me and the hubby, her bridesmaids, his groomsmen,

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Speaker 2: and the flower girl slash ring bearer. This would exclude

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Speaker 2: the officiant and all other guests, including her brothers and sisters,

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Speaker 2: as well as my sister and brother. Did anyone else

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Speaker 2: not know that you're supposed to get the offician a

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Speaker 2: gift or something.

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Speaker 3: That's what I've been sitting here wondering this whole time.

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Speaker 3: Lenn never got past that line. We're both at the

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Speaker 3: same point where like, oh my god, oh okay, taking

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Speaker 3: notes for the future.

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Speaker 2: Her. Yeah, just like another thing about weddings I didn't know,

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Speaker 2: And I'll add to the now I know column. At

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Speaker 2: this point, all other guests would be told to go

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Speaker 2: to get lunch and I quote wherever, and we'll meet

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Speaker 2: back here in a couple hours at the wedding luncheon

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Speaker 2: quote unquote at a restaurant in the next town over

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Speaker 2: that's about twenty minutes away. We are all supposed to

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Speaker 2: foot the bill ourselves. Then we drive back and we

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Speaker 2: as in my family, including the ones not invited to

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Speaker 2: the luncheon. We'll set up the decorps and everything else

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Speaker 2: for the reception because Andrew and Christy will be too

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Speaker 2: busy getting ready. After we get everything taken care of,

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Speaker 2: there will be ca cutting and dancing, and then the

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Speaker 2: end of the wedding. No food, snacks, nibbles, cocktails, nothing

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Speaker 2: like that will be provided during the course of this wedding.

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Speaker 2: Andrew also dropped the bombshell that my grandmother, a father's mom,

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Speaker 2: would not be invited because she didn't remember who Christy

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Speaker 2: was at my daughter's first birthday last month. The backstory

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Speaker 2: on that, let's start with the fact that she's eighty.

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Speaker 3: Eighty years old. You can't remember anything at eighty.

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Speaker 2: Well, let's you know, I got a grandma who's you know, eighty. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: she's pretty spry, Okay, she got she's got she's got

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Speaker 2: pretty sharp up there.

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Speaker 3: That's great, But like.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, when you're eighty, you can't be expected

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Speaker 2: to remember every single person you ever met and I mean.

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Speaker 3: I don't know exactly how it went, but I mean

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Speaker 3: I could see it happening where it's like she just

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Speaker 3: didn't remember her face or her name or something, but

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Speaker 3: she knows why she's there kind of maybe, yeah, a

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Speaker 3: little bit.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure she wasn't like, oh I wish I could

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Speaker 2: forget about her. Yeah, there was more just like a

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Speaker 2: oh oops, yeah, Gammaama, Gamma. Then let's go on to

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Speaker 2: the fact that she's met Christy once, and only once,

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Speaker 2: almost two years ago. Lastly, my grandma has nine kids.

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Speaker 2: Those nine kids are married. They all had a minimum

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Speaker 2: of four children. Many of those children are now married

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Speaker 2: and have children. My grandmother has over sixty five grandchildren

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Speaker 2: forest I don't even know the exact number. I stopped

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Speaker 2: keeping track years ago, about ten of which of recently

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Speaker 2: or are about to get married. She's eighty. She has

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Speaker 2: a hard enough time keeping track of how many people

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Speaker 2: are in her family, never mind what their names are.

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Speaker 2: It was absolutely nothing personal that she didn't know Christie's name.

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Speaker 2: She just forgot it had been two years. It was

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Speaker 2: an honest mistake. So despite her being the only living

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Speaker 2: grandparent we have left, and despite her driving the hour

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Speaker 2: here to make it to Andrew's school performances and sending

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Speaker 2: birthday cards every year without fail to her children, grandchildren

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Speaker 2: and great grandchildren. Andrew included, she's now not to be invited.

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Speaker 2: I know this is RANTI, but all this play bald

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Speaker 2: faced rudeness is flooring me and I don't know how

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Speaker 2: to handle it. My dad, once we told him his

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Speaker 2: mom wouldn't be invited, was not only hurt but angry.

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Speaker 2: He said he will not go if his mom is

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Speaker 2: not invited. Andrew is insisting on not inviting any of

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Speaker 2: the others from that side of the family, and with

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Speaker 2: such high numbers, I can understand, but at least inviting

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Speaker 2: Grandma would be polite. Not to mention loving my sister.

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Speaker 2: My mom and I put together a wedding planning book

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Speaker 2: for them ages ago and gave it to them. It

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Speaker 2: had tips for a small budget, etiquette, timeliness checklists, and

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Speaker 2: a breakdown of what a basic wedding should have. We

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Speaker 2: got info from multiple sources and spent the time collecting

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Speaker 2: and printing it. But it's completely obvious they haven't looked

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Speaker 2: at it at all. It's like they want this big,

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Speaker 2: beautiful wedding, but they pick out anything that costs them

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Speaker 2: money or means they have to work gifts for people

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Speaker 2: who do us favors. Nah, big princess wedding dress check

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Speaker 2: supplying food and refreshment of some kind. Nah, they can

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Speaker 2: get taco bell or something exquisite floor length gowns with

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Speaker 2: exact matching, specified cotton color for the wedding po body

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Speaker 2: check paying for send gowns no too expensive for us.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure everyone else can afford it, though. Am I

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Speaker 2: being over the top? Is it just me? Or is

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Speaker 2: this really ridiculous wedding behavior. I've been to maybe six

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Speaker 2: weddings in my life, attended in three, fully planned one,

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Speaker 2: and have helped plan another. I am all for modern

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Speaker 2: weddings where you throw the whole. Bride's family pays for it,

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Speaker 2: groom's family pays for that out the window, But typically

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Speaker 2: that cost shouldn't rest on your wedding party guests and

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Speaker 2: pretty much anyone that isn't you. How do I explain

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Speaker 2: to them the things that won't fly. I'm not freezing

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Speaker 2: my infant because they're stubborn, and I'm clearly not going

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Speaker 2: to pay for a tuxedo, baby dress, makeup dinner for

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Speaker 2: me and my hobby and play pack Mule to set

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Speaker 2: up and take down their entire reception center. I don't

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Speaker 2: care who you are. It's ridiculous and asking too much.

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Speaker 2: Not that they asked if we would set up, They

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Speaker 2: told us that's what was going to happen. I don't

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Speaker 2: want to quote unquote really in their day. I want

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Speaker 2: it to go well and I want everyone to enjoy

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Speaker 2: their selves, but I can't force them to plan better.

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Speaker 2: That's on them, So my question is how to handle it.

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Speaker 2: Christy is super sensitive and takes literally any criticism as

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Speaker 2: a personal attack, so I want to go delicately here. Also,

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Speaker 2: Christy and I work together, so achieving peace here is

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Speaker 2: very important. There is a tiny mini update here. I

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Speaker 2: sincerely appreciate all of you taking the time to weigh

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Speaker 2: in and offer advice. Just knowing that I'm not the

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Speaker 2: only one thinking this is rude and crazy helps. After

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Speaker 2: talking to my parents and showing them this thread, they

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Speaker 2: decided to talk to Andrew this weekend about a select

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Speaker 2: few things they should put that they're not serving any

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Speaker 2: food or refreshment on the invite so people know they

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Speaker 2: won't be fed, as this is not typical for a

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Speaker 2: wedding and Grandma really should be invited, and the offician,

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Speaker 2: since he is an old friend doing it for free,

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Speaker 2: needs a gift. As for me, I'm going to set

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Speaker 2: some boundaries with this wedding, mainly with what I will

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Speaker 2: and won't do and how my daughter will be kept

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Speaker 2: warm during the wedding. I will post a real update

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Speaker 2: on the convo with my brother after it happens. Thanks

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Speaker 2: again everyone, and we have some comments here. Comment why

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Speaker 2: I was all prepared to say it's their day, let

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Speaker 2: them do what they want, because I'm not one for

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Speaker 2: traditional weddings and such. However, they are wasting people's precious

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Speaker 2: time here. No one's going to want to go to

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Speaker 2: their wedding, leave to get lunch somewhere, and then come

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Speaker 2: back several hours later to watch them dance and get cake.

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Speaker 2: They're demanding a whole day for something that doesn't need it.

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Speaker 2: They should just do the cake and punch thing directly

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Speaker 2: after the ceremony and be done with it. If they

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Speaker 2: don't want to serve a meal to their guests, Opie says,

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Speaker 2: I guess that's where I'm at. Why rent this huge

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Speaker 2: space and try to do the big wedding when what

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Speaker 2: they seem to want is a small one. I don't understand,

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Speaker 2: but they don't see anything wrong with that. Comment to

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Speaker 2: this is insane. Have they been hitting the hooch? Honestly,

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Speaker 2: if I was in your shoes, I would tell them

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Speaker 2: your boundaries. Yes, I'll help with, say, putting on makeup,

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Speaker 2: but the bride needs to pay for said makeup. No,

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Speaker 2: I will not let my daughter be out in inclement weather.

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Speaker 2: As for all the oddities and rudeness you've pointed out,

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Speaker 2: maybe you should let someone else step in and talk

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Speaker 2: with them. As your parents are partially footing the bill,

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Speaker 2: I think they can address at least a few things

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Speaker 2: that involve them. And we have an update. Christy actually

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Speaker 2: texted my mom in a panic on Tuesday night because

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Speaker 2: her mom had added some names she didn't know to

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Speaker 2: the guest list of her side of the family. My

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Speaker 2: mom just told her that she could help her and

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Speaker 2: had her come over to talk. Christy brought over her

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Speaker 2: wedding planning book and sat down with me and my mom.

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Speaker 2: My mom asked her about the wedding plans, confirming that

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Speaker 2: they indeed intended to have no meal, that all the

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Speaker 2: wedding party would pay for their own food, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: Christie confirmed it all. My mom, the saint of offering

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Speaker 2: constructive criticism in the nicest way possible, said to Christy,

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Speaker 2: I worry about this plan potentially hurting feelings on your

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Speaker 2: family's side as well. Do you mind if I explain why?

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Speaker 2: I think that Christy was pretty receptive. She said she

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Speaker 2: didn't want anyone to have their feelings hurt and asked

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Speaker 2: what was offensive my mom posed this rhetorical situation. I

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Speaker 2: guess she got this idea from my sister. Okay, Christy,

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Speaker 2: imagine your parents invited you over for Christmas. You drive

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Speaker 2: the three hours to their house, You dress in your

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Speaker 2: best Christmas sweater, and you show up with gifts. Everyone

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Speaker 2: is happy to see you, and you hug and visit

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Speaker 2: for a while. Your parents and some of your family

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Speaker 2: then tell you that they are going to dinner and

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Speaker 2: you can't come, but you can go to McDonald's or something.

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Speaker 2: They let you know they'll be back in about two

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Speaker 2: hours and to just hang out in the yard wherever

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Speaker 2: we may get back. They let you back in the

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Speaker 2: house so you can watch them eat Christmas cookies they

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Speaker 2: made for themselves. Oh can only their presence and play

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Speaker 2: some Christmas music. Once that's all done, they say thanks

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Speaker 2: for coming, see you next year and boot you out

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Speaker 2: the door. Would your feelings be hurt? My mom is

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Speaker 2: a funny and lighthearted storyteller, so at this point Christy

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Speaker 2: had laughed a couple times with a kind of sad

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Speaker 2: note in there, and also said oh several times as well.

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Speaker 2: Christy spoke up and said she absolutely understood how that

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Speaker 2: related to their current wedding plans. Seriously, it was like

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Speaker 2: until that moment she could see literally nothing wrong with

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Speaker 2: their plans. She explained that they pretty much only had

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Speaker 2: the budget of the two thousand dollars her parents were

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Speaker 2: giving her to work with, and she was afraid a

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Speaker 2: meal would cost you. She also expressed frustration that Andrew

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Speaker 2: didn't really help with the planning and he just kept saying,

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Speaker 2: what do you want when she asked for his opinion.

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Speaker 2: My mom and I explained that Andrew probably just wanted

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Speaker 2: the day just the way she wants it, because it's

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Speaker 2: always stressed that it's the bride's day. We gave her

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Speaker 2: some tips for engaging Andrew to really get his input.

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Speaker 2: At this point, she had really broken down and we

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Speaker 2: were able to see her a little more for what

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Speaker 2: she is, a young and naive twenty one year old girl,

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Speaker 2: granted with a bit of a passive aggressive issue in

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Speaker 2: way over her head, running on little to no help

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Speaker 2: with an event she has no idea how to plan.

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Speaker 2: After chit chatting a little bit, we talked about different

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Speaker 2: ways to pull off an affordable wedding. You pitched ideas

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Speaker 2: and she either said she loved it, she'd think about it,

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Speaker 2: or no. She liked the idea of having a small

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Speaker 2: ceremony with the fifty people they really wanted to be there,

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Speaker 2: after which there would be a luncheon provided by them

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Speaker 2: this time. After that would be the reception where the

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Speaker 2: guests her mom added, and anyone else that wasn't really

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Speaker 2: close to them could come celebrate. There would be a

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Speaker 2: light refreshment for them. She is really not concerned about

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Speaker 2: what the luncheon is, but would like it to be

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Speaker 2: as low cost as possible, but not tacky. My mom,

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Speaker 2: my sister, Christy, and I are going to brainstorm in

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Speaker 2: the next few weeks and look at prices to see

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Speaker 2: what we can find within their budget. Grilled cheese. Then

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Speaker 2: we'll all get together and let Christy and Andrew if

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Speaker 2: he decides to join, decide which ideas she likes best

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Speaker 2: for both the luncheon and the reception refreshment. Oh and

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Speaker 2: as for Grandma, when Christy handed over the guest list

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Speaker 2: from Andrew, she was on there at the bottom. We

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Speaker 2: hadn't talked about it, but he must have realized that

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00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,120
Speaker 2: Grandma deserved to be at his wedding. On my part,

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Speaker 2: I mentioned to Christy I was worried about my little

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Speaker 2: one in inclement weather, and she said they had decided

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Speaker 2: they would plan on doing the ceremony indoors because it

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Speaker 2: was likely the weather would be bad. She still wants

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Speaker 2: to reserve the gazebo just in case it's nice, but

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Speaker 2: she seems much more realistic about the weather situation now.

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Speaker 2: I'm also going to buy grocery store makeup for her

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Speaker 2: makeup for the wedding. It's nice stuff but not too pricey.

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Speaker 2: And I've let her know that my hands will be

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Speaker 2: full with the baby, so take down and set up

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Speaker 2: of decors and such. We'll be next to him possible

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Speaker 2: for me. Both my mother and I suggested requesting the

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Speaker 2: help of their bridal party, the groomsmen and bridesmaids to

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Speaker 2: help with the things that need to be done the

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Speaker 2: day off. She said she was sure that they would

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Speaker 2: be willing to help, but that she'd ask. Many of

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00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,000
Speaker 2: them are young, single and childless, so hopefully they'll be

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Speaker 2: more able to help out. She also was asking about

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Speaker 2: the bridle shower. One of her sisters had already volunteered

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Speaker 2: to throw the dough party, but no one in her

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00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,680
Speaker 2: family had made mention or offered to throw her a

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Speaker 2: bridle shower. So my mom and I are talking about

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Speaker 2: doing that. When I was almost married, I had two

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Speaker 2: bridle showers and people were offering to throw one for

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Speaker 2: me left and right. I feel badly that her family

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Speaker 2: is not doing that. All in all, I feel much

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Speaker 2: more comfortable with what I've agreed to do for them,

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Speaker 2: and I'm happy that we are able to help Christy.

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Speaker 2: In the original thread, a user mentioned that all their

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Speaker 2: plans had been met with negativity. I think this caused them,

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Speaker 2: especially Christie, to shut down and just say, though everybody,

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Speaker 2: this is our day. Really, they just don't know how

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Speaker 2: to plan a wedding and we can all see that.

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Speaker 2: Rather than seeing that we wanted to help, I think

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Speaker 2: they just heard the negativity of it. Sitting Christy down

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Speaker 2: and explaining that we had some ideas that we thought

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Speaker 2: could help, and that we in no way wanted to

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Speaker 2: force her to do anything she didn't like. Well, it

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00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,520
Speaker 2: helped a lot. We let her know that she could

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Speaker 2: say no if she hated an idea or if she

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00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,920
Speaker 2: felt we were getting too involved. We still think they

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00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,360
Speaker 2: need to plan their own wedding, but we've also become

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00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,320
Speaker 2: more approachable for help in this regard. No, we're not

356
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Speaker 2: going to plan the wedding for them, but if they're

357
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,640
Speaker 2: stumped on something or want input, we've offered to help.

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Speaker 2: If we can't, we'll see as time goes on whether

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Speaker 2: they stick with it or if they fall back into

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Speaker 2: the we don't care about anyone else mode. I still

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00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,520
Speaker 2: feel that they have a lot of growing up to do,

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Speaker 2: and hopefully they can do it together and build a

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Speaker 2: long lasting relationship for the rest of their lives. Comments

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Speaker 2: comment one. Your mom handled it so much better than

365
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Speaker 2: I would have replied, I was gonna say, Mom is

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Speaker 2: the smart cookie. I probably would have choked them both

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Speaker 2: and let God sort it out. You're not inviting grandma?

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Speaker 3: Ook?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, See, that's a blueprint for how not to communicate

370
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Speaker 2: ye properly, yeh.

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Speaker 3: Don't do that. Don't do that.

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Speaker 2: Don't make them meet their maker. So much has happened

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Speaker 2: in these past two weeks. Last Sunday, Christy told Andrew

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Speaker 2: she wanted to come over and talk with him and

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Speaker 2: my mom. Andrew assumed it was about wedding stuff because

376
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,159
Speaker 2: they were getting only a couple months away from the

377
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 2: wedding and they had not really done anything. So they

378
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 2: get here and go to talk in private with my mom.

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00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 2: I was playing with the baby in the front room

380
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Speaker 2: and I could hear yelling and arguing coming from the

381
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Speaker 2: back room they were in. I was worried they were

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00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,520
Speaker 2: having a brawl back there, but just figured they'd work

383
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 2: out whatever the heck was going on. Well, they both

384
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 2: left and my mom fills me in Christy didn't want

385
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Speaker 2: to talk wedding. She brought Andrew over to tell him

386
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Speaker 2: in front of my mom with no prior warning, that

387
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Speaker 2: she wasn't sure if she wanted to marry him anymore.

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Speaker 3: Pot twists.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, I mean, is it maybe the most understandable

390
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Speaker 2: thing in the world to have cold feet at twenty one? Yes?

391
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Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely.

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Speaker 2: She wrote a list of four things to show my

393
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,359
Speaker 2: mom that Andrew is doing or has done wrong that

394
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,600
Speaker 2: she thought couldn't be resolved. My mom told her to ooh,

395
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Speaker 2: keep her list to herself no, and that they needed

396
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,320
Speaker 2: to go to couples counseling. At this point, Andrew got

397
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Speaker 2: really upset because he had tried all ready to go

398
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Speaker 2: to couples counseling with her six months ago, and she

399
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,359
Speaker 2: didn't like it because it was awkward and I hate

400
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,200
Speaker 2: taking responsibility for stuff. I'd rather just blame someone else.

401
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 2: What Wow. For the record, that is not a joker exaggeration.

402
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 2: She literally said that out loud and didn't see a

403
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:36,000
Speaker 2: problem with it. Andrew also blew up because I guess

404
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 2: when he had proposed to her, she had been hinting

405
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,120
Speaker 2: at it and pushing for it. He basically asked her

406
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Speaker 2: why she wanted him to ask her to get married

407
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 2: just so she could break it off two months before. Anyway,

408
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,920
Speaker 2: I obviously knew they were having issues and had just

409
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,160
Speaker 2: kept my space, even though Christy seemed to be trying

410
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 2: to pull my mom into it. My mom agreed it

411
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,480
Speaker 2: was their business and told them to get into therapy

412
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Speaker 2: asap if they wanted to stay together. My brother gets

413
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Speaker 2: counseling free through work, so they went to one session

414
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Speaker 2: last week. I don't know how that went. I did

415
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:06,159
Speaker 2: not ask. Oh. I also forgot to mention. The Thursday

416
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 2: before Christy called off the wedding, she went on an

417
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 2: all day hike alone with an old friend. He had

418
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,440
Speaker 2: been out of state for the past two years Mormon missionary,

419
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Speaker 2: and she wanted to catch up. They spent the whole

420
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 2: day together in the mountains alone, and she posted on

421
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 2: Facebook about how awsome it was. It actually pissed off

422
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 2: almost everyone close to her, even her sister, who thinks

423
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 2: she does no wrong, because she's been vocal in the

424
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,679
Speaker 2: past about how opposed she is to Andrew. Even talking

425
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 2: to a member of the opposite set, she would literally

426
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 2: yell at him and pester him about talking to old

427
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,480
Speaker 2: friends who just happened to be female, or mentioning that

428
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 2: he saw a friend in the grocery store and said hi.

429
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Speaker 2: But no, it's okay for her to spend a whole

430
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Speaker 2: day in the mountains with some dude. I complained to

431
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 2: my sister, but said nothing until that Saturday, Valentine's Day.

432
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 2: I asked Andrew what his plans were for the evening,

433
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 2: and he said, oh, Christy and her friend I are

434
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 2: going to dinner. He says, yeah, Zach, he just got

435
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,399
Speaker 2: back from a mission, so it's the same guy. I

436
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,360
Speaker 2: asked him if he was okay sharing his Valentine's Day

437
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 2: dinner with another guy, and he basically said, I mean, yeah,

438
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,199
Speaker 2: they're friends. So I want to meet him and he

439
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 2: wants to meet me. I was shocked, really, But Andrew

440
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 2: is trusting of her, so he's never been possessive like

441
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,639
Speaker 2: she's been with him. Next morning, Christy isn't sure if

442
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 2: she wants to marry Andrew anymore. I work with Christy

443
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,360
Speaker 2: for those who don't remember. And the next day she's

444
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 2: telling people that her and Andrew haven't broken up yet,

445
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 2: that it's just the wedding that's canceled for now. The

446
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,440
Speaker 2: day after that, she chopped all her hair off in

447
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 2: this really strange and unflattering haircut. Again, this is a

448
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,879
Speaker 2: thing she would get after Andrew, for he's always enjoyed

449
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 2: putting bright colors in his hair, and he wanted to

450
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 2: be daring and do his whole head and muted navy blue,

451
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 2: she told him. But then it's okay for her to

452
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 2: go chop her hair to an inch long in the

453
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 2: back and maybe three inches in the front. The day

454
00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 2: after her haircut was the therapy session. Andrew seemed to

455
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 2: optimistic that weekend. Christie mentions at work that she's going

456
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 2: to visit her mom for the weekend. Her mom has

457
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 2: always disliked Andrew, and I figured her mom would talk

458
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,119
Speaker 2: her out of the relationship permanently. But my brother was

459
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,440
Speaker 2: so tortured at this point that I thought that might

460
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 2: be for the best. Q This morning, I asked Christy

461
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 2: at work how her weekend went, and she says, not good.

462
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 2: Andrew and I broke up. I just said I was

463
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,399
Speaker 2: sorry about that and went back to work because I

464
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,959
Speaker 2: was not expecting that response. I just did not know

465
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 2: what on earth to say to that. I had no

466
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 2: idea that they had broken up, so I was then

467
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 2: worried about how my brother was doing. She then goes

468
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 2: on to say this massive paragraph quote, but the rest

469
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 2: of the weekend with okay. Me and Zach hung out

470
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 2: until way late Saturday night, just talking. He had his

471
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 2: homecoming in the morning. He's the only person that really

472
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 2: knows what's going on with me and Andrew. He was

473
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 2: really nice and just listen to me. We were laughing

474
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 2: because I found a gray hair in his hair and

475
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 2: he was totally freaking out. Then we went to the

476
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 2: homecoming in the morning. Of course, I only went for

477
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,480
Speaker 2: the main meeting, so then I went in house and

478
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 2: waited for him to get home from church, which was

479
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 2: awkward because it was only his and Grandma there. But

480
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 2: then we had the luncheon afterwards and whatever, and it

481
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 2: was fun. I was tired when I got home, so

482
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,640
Speaker 2: I took a nap. I'd be like, oh, so you're

483
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 2: getting married to zach.

484
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 3: Yah, wedding's still on. My brother's just not invited.

485
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 2: Are you gonna swap my brother and this new guy,

486
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,639
Speaker 2: your new boyfriend, your new husband that you're engaged to?

487
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 2: I guess. At this point, my friend from work, Alicia,

488
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 2: is just staring at me, waiting for my response. She

489
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 2: looked at me like I was a grenade with the pinout.

490
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 2: I couldn't even gather a thought or sentence to say. So,

491
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 2: Alicia pipes In, I thought you were visiting your family

492
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 2: this weekend.

493
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 3: I was. That's why I stayed with.

494
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,719
Speaker 2: Well did you even spend time with your family?

495
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 3: Well? I did talk with my mom on Saturday.

496
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 2: Okay, but mainly it was about Zach's home thingy whatever. Well, yeah,

497
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 2: Christy continued to babble about various things, like how she

498
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 2: was going to head to California because your friend had

499
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 2: offered to fly her out there, but she couldn't go

500
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 2: before because Andrew couldn't afford the airfare to go too.

501
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 2: She was just so damn happy. It made me sick.

502
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 2: When her sister arrived at work. Yes, I work with

503
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 2: two of these people. They talked about Christy moving in

504
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: with her sister and when and how and all that.

505
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 2: Jazz I stepped out to call my mom and she

506
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 2: told me immediately that she was helping Andrew move his

507
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 2: stuff out of the apartment. As we spoke, I told

508
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: her to do it fast before Andrew changed his mind.

509
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: My mom packed up all the wedding stuff Christy had

510
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 2: not been coming over to work on and dropped it

511
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 2: at our house when she had finished helping with Andrew.

512
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 2: Like she literally dropped the box and shoved it towards

513
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 2: Christy with her foot. I think my mom did not

514
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 2: appreciate Christy's cheery umgie high that she had used when

515
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 2: my mom walked in the door. Yeah, Christy, you little

516
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 2: psychle you just split it off with her son. My

517
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,439
Speaker 2: mom was taking my sick little girl to the doctor

518
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 2: since I couldn't get time off work, so she came

519
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 2: for the insurance card and left after Christy and her

520
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,199
Speaker 2: sister went in the back room and tittered for a

521
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 2: while after the unceremonious drop off from mom. Now she's

522
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 2: a horrible person and all that. I'm sure I somehow

523
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,359
Speaker 2: remained calm through all of this. I mean, I'm at work.

524
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,680
Speaker 2: This is personal crap, and I didn't want to talk

525
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 2: about it in a professional place. But also, I'm so

526
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 2: effing relieved Christy is messed up. Her whole family has

527
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 2: narcissism issues, and I'm so glad my brother doesn't have

528
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 2: to tolerate her constant criticism, gaslighting, and verbal abuse anymore.

529
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 2: He's now back home and he is doing so well

530
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 2: considering how fresh this all is. He told me he

531
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 2: realized last week that it probably was over, but he

532
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 2: wanted to give therapy a shot. I think he also

533
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 2: wised up about Zach. Near the end of my shift,

534
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 2: I went to the bathroom, thinking that your nation somehow

535
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 2: rendered me deaf. While only being feet away, I heard

536
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 2: Christy complaining that Andrew had just texted her and said, so,

537
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 2: were you really staying with your parents or with someone else?

538
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 2: She was denying doing anything physical with this Zach guy,

539
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 2: but did admit she'd been spending all her time with

540
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: him lately. She definitely lost her effing weird, peppy attitude

541
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 2: after that text. I think because you can't play poor

542
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 2: me when you're guilty of carrying on an emotional relationship

543
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: with another per Anyway, writing it all out gives me

544
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,679
Speaker 2: a peaceful feeling. I'm so heartbroken for Andrew, but he

545
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 2: dodged a bullet. He wants to continue pursuing personal therapy

546
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 2: through work so he can resolve the problems he felt

547
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 2: he had in their relationship, thus avoiding them in a

548
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 2: future one. And by the way, you can address the

549
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: fact that we have episodes, full episodes with stories just

550
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 2: like this one on Spotify. iHeartRadio, Apple podcasts wherever you

551
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 2: listen to podcasts, just search Okay, story time. I no

552
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 2: longer have to tolerate a toxic person in my personal life,

553
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 2: though I do have to tolerate her and her borderline

554
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 2: demonic sister at work. However, I feel I can handle

555
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 2: this by simply reminding them to keep their personal crap

556
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 2: home and be professional at work. I'm pretty sure I

557
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 2: can handle it if they start being disrespectful towards him

558
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 2: or my family while at work. TILDR are not getting

559
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 2: married and they broke up, Thank the effing gods. And

560
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story. John Here, we're

561
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 2: gonna get back to this juicy story, but a quick

562
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 2: three minute break of ass for our small I fell

563
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 2: in love with my client. Now I want to risk everything.

564
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 3: Ooh, don't risk it.

565
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 2: You'll never get the biscuit if you don't risk it.

566
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 2: We've got two sides of the coin here. Let's see

567
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 2: where we go. If you are going to pass judgment

568
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 2: on my profession, please don't. What's your profession? If you're

569
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 2: going to tell me I'm being exploited, please don't.

570
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 3: She's an escort ah afoid. That might have been just

571
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 3: in the title A.

572
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 2: Wonderful make and model of an automobile. I am not

573
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 2: here for that. I took on this client about a

574
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:35,199
Speaker 2: year ago. I was immediately struck with how handsome he was.

575
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 2: As I got to know him, he showed himself to

576
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 2: be a kind, sweet, charismatic and utterly brilliant person. He

577
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 2: is always gentle. I never had to enforce any boundaries

578
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 2: with him. By the way, this comes from user throw

579
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 2: away esc and if you want to submit your own stories,

580
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 2: go to the r slash owcase storytime severed it so

581
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 2: over the last year, I have come to look forward

582
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 2: to visits with him above any of my other clients.

583
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 2: If there's a scheduling conflict, I'll give him the priority. Lately,

584
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 2: I've been more intimate with him than my other clients. Cuddles, kissing,

585
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 2: hugs and other things I don't do with my other clients.

586
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 2: I love my overnights with him. We have long, deep

587
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 2: talks about everything. We have a lot of shared interests,

588
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 2: and we just get along really well. I feel very

589
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 2: safe with him. I am falling in love with him.

590
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 2: It's never happened to me before. I've always kept emotions

591
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 2: separate from my work, but I can't help it with him.

592
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 2: I will spend time with him that I don't bill

593
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 2: him for. I spend extra time with him and just

594
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 2: love to be with him. I've been spending time with

595
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 2: him casually, going on dates. I guess, for lack of

596
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 2: a better word, that I'm not billing for either. In

597
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 2: the lines are starting to become very blurry. I don't

598
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 2: know what to do. I don't know what to do.

599
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 2: I think I want to move the relationship from professional

600
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: to personal, and truth is, it's already become personal to me.

601
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 2: But I can't imagine he would be okay with my

602
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 2: work if I was his girlfriend. I am afraid of

603
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 2: being rejected by him and ruining our work relationship. I

604
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 2: think I would give this up to be with him,

605
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 2: but that presents a whole new set of problems for

606
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 2: me and finding a new career. I don't know what

607
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 2: to do. Do I go for it, risk rejection in

608
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 2: ruining our professional relationship. Do I give up my career

609
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 2: for him if he says yes, I don't think I

610
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 2: could continue this if I was with him personally. Do

611
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 2: I stay silent and continue our relationship as is? Or

612
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 2: do I drop him as a client altogether. I was

613
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: never looking for a guy to save me, but I

614
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 2: can't help what I'm feeling for him.

615
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 3: Well, don't think of it as like saving you from anything, right,

616
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 3: It's just like, Oh, I really like him, and you

617
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 3: know I think I want to like pursue a different

618
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:33,360
Speaker 3: career if I'm with him?

619
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 2: It's giving me a noura.

620
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with your job. It's just realizing that,

621
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 3: like your priorities are changing.

622
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 2: Well, here's what I'll say. Is there anything wrong, like

623
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 2: morally with being an escort? Like? I don't think so. Like,

624
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 2: there's nothing morally incorrect about doing that. However, the job

625
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 2: has its problems. Of course, naming like this is a problem. Yeah,

626
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,479
Speaker 2: you have a professional relationship with this guy that if

627
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 2: you try to move it outside of the profess relationship,

628
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 2: you might have to be like, oh, I don't want

629
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 2: to do that with you because you're an escort. There's

630
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 2: some edits here. Edit number one, I know why you single.

631
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 2: His wife passed away in an accident three years ago.

632
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 2: At a number two, I can't believe how many responses

633
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 2: this post has gotten. I'm going for it. I'll tell

634
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 2: him this week now to figure out how lots have

635
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 2: asked If I have a backup, I do. Edit three.

636
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 2: I'm about to leave for lunch with him. I'm not

637
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: going to bring it up yet, but I do intend

638
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 2: to ask him if he ever sees himself getting married again.

639
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 2: I didn't expect to see this much support. Okay, lunch

640
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 2: was nice. We had a good time. I did ask

641
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 2: him if he felt he could ever be married again.

642
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: He said, three years ago the answer would be a

643
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 2: hard no, but now he was in so suoil. Then

644
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: he asked me if I ever saw myself getting married.

645
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 2: I asked him if he wanted to come to dinner

646
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 2: at my place tonight, not work, just personal. He said

647
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 2: he'd like that. I'm going for it like you already,

648
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 2: like halfway went for it. Okay, we've got some comments.

649
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: There's a third comment here. I'm not going to comment

650
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 2: on your situation, OPI, but this post could give false

651
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 2: hope to a whole bunch of guys who use on.

652
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 3: Who cares what?

653
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 2: We're not responsible for everyone's why.

654
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, a pretty woman could have given false hope.

655
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: Like come on. If the same post came from a

656
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 2: guy using an escort at the overwhelming response would be

657
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 2: she's a professional and doesn't love you. You're right, this should

658
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 2: never happen. We're supposed to keep our personal feelings separate

659
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 2: from all this. I'm crossing boundaries I shouldn't be crossing

660
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 2: right now. That's part of why this is so hard

661
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 2: for me. I've never been put in this situation and

662
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: it doesn't happen often. None of the other working girls

663
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 2: I know have gone through this final update. Well, I

664
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 2: truly didn't expect this post to get the reception it did.

665
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 2: I didn't think this many people would care and become

666
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 2: so invested in my story. I really didn't expect all

667
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 2: the support I got, and I was floored with comments,

668
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 2: PMS and chat requests somewhere about what I expected. Accusations

669
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 2: of being a gold digger and can't turn a guardening

670
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 2: tool into a housewife type comments. That's really the response

671
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 2: I expected. What I didn't expect were the thousands of

672
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 2: comments and messages of support. You were all right, and

673
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 2: that I did know what I really wanted. I did

674
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 2: know what my heart was telling me, but seeing thousands

675
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 2: of people will tell me to go for it was

676
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 2: the push I needed to not waste any more time.

677
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 2: Shoot yo, shot right. I'd like to address a few

678
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: things before I get into the update. A few people

679
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 2: mentioned the story about his wife maybe being fake and

680
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 2: him being secretly married. I was pretty sure he wasn't married.

681
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 2: I did out calls to his home, and my married

682
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 2: clients never take me to their home, always a hotel.

683
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 2: But I was regularly in his home. I saw the

684
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 2: pictures of her around the house. I know she was real.

685
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 2: How can I trust a guy who uses escorts? Well,

686
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 2: this is a silly thing to judge him on considering

687
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 2: what I do. I can't imagine judging a man for

688
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 2: using my service. I was his first too, and unless

689
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 2: he's a good actor, I know the awkwardness of a

690
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 2: first timer, and he was definitely awkward when we first met.

691
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 2: I never asked him if he started seeing other escorts,

692
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 2: because frankly, it's none of my business. I should wait

693
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 2: for him to approach me. Unfortunately, this probably wouldn't work,

694
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 2: as the lines become blurred. I did tell him about

695
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 2: a few clients who became overly possessive, obsessive, and jealous,

696
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 2: and I had to drop them. I'm sure he thought

697
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 2: the same. What happened to him if he tried to

698
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 2: tell me he wanted a personal relationship. I had to

699
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 2: be the one to make this move. Do I want

700
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 2: to do this forever? Slash? Do I really want to

701
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 2: give it up the job? Different variations on this theme

702
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,959
Speaker 2: of leaving the biz, some in favor, some against. Bottom

703
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,239
Speaker 2: line is I don't think I see myself doing this

704
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 2: into my thirties. It used to be fun and exciting,

705
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 2: but lately it hasn't been.

706
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:20,959
Speaker 3: Probably because you like this man and now you have

707
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 3: to kind of pretend or put on the show for

708
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 3: other clients. Well, it seems like you're thinking about him

709
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 3: a lot, which I mean.

710
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 2: Isn't it the like the pop culture thing of It's

711
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 2: like the in the brothel. It's a young person's game.

712
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 2: And then you've got like one older lady who's like,

713
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 2: I run the jointcut the.

714
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 3: Broth I used in my day.

715
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 2: I used to be only one in a hundred will

716
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 2: make it into their older ages, is run in the

717
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 2: show or whatever.

718
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 3: I don't know what the stats are, but yeah, being

719
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 3: a professional athlete, it's.

720
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 2: A young game. It's not really a career that you

721
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 2: have your whole life. Yeah, it just feel like work

722
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 2: now and the only meets I look forward to any

723
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 2: more of the ones with him. I also don't feel

724
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 2: good about the idea of being committed to him but

725
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: still seeing clients. I heard from a lot of other

726
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 2: spicy sleep workers and clients who were able to make

727
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 2: that arrangement work, but I just can't even if he

728
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 2: would be okay with it. I just can't. Another add

729
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 2: on to this is a friend of mine who has

730
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 2: never been crazy about what I do. She's given me

731
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 2: a standing offer to go work with her company on

732
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 2: the sales team. It's a great place to break in.

733
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 3: Oh wait, hope he's got another job off.

734
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 2: If you've got a line up for a sales gig,

735
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 2: oh he take it, Yeah, take it. You'd be great

736
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 2: at sales. Take it. Yeah.

737
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 3: And then you can approach the conversation with the guy

738
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 3: and be like, yeah, I've been thinking about like doing sales.

739
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 3: And he's like, oh, I don't get to see you again.

740
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 3: You're like, well, i'd like to see you. I don't know.

741
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 2: Outside of this, A lot of people suggested we try

742
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 2: going out as friends and doing things outside our working relationship.

743
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 2: I imagine my comments answering this one. We're buried in

744
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 2: the flood of comment. So I'll put it in here.

745
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 2: We have been for some time now. We meet for lunch, dinner,

746
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 2: we go to the movies, We make little chips to

747
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:09,959
Speaker 2: sites around where we live. We also text throughout the week.

748
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 2: You're dating. Okay, So onto the update. I think I

749
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 2: left off yesterday that we had met for lunch that

750
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 2: was sort of a normal thing for us lately. We

751
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 2: had a nice chat. I posed the question to him

752
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 2: if he ever saw himself falling in love and marrying again.

753
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 2: He said, after his wife passed away, he didn't think

754
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 2: it would be possible, but now he thinks he might

755
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: be able to with the right person.

756
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 3: See, this is what's called professionally dating romantically friends professionally.

757
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:40,240
Speaker 3: They're professionally dating, they're romantically friends professionally.

758
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 2: Then he followed up with a question about if I

759
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,760
Speaker 2: would ever think about leaving the biz and getting married,

760
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 2: and I sort of answered the same with the right person,

761
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 2: followed by a pointed stare, Yeah, sure, with the right person,

762
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 2: With the right person. He had to go back to

763
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 2: work by this point, and I invited him him to

764
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 2: my home for dinner. That was a first. He has

765
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 2: never been to my home. I don't bring my clients

766
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 2: back there, only my friends. I hope that sent a

767
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 2: strong signal to him. I went back home and started

768
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 2: getting ready. I had to go shopping for some things

769
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 2: and get the place ready to have a guest over.

770
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 2: I called my friend. She knows about this guy and

771
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 2: has been on the same page, has read it, pushing

772
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 2: me to make a move and settle down into something

773
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,959
Speaker 2: more normal. And I told her about the Reddit post

774
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 2: and said I was making the jump who. I also

775
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 2: let her know I wanted to take her up on

776
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 2: her offero. I called up my upcoming appointments and canceled.

777
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,880
Speaker 2: I said something had come up and I wouldn't be available.

778
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 2: I'm out. I'm done. I got out of here. I'm

779
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 2: out of a biz welles when Nate thought I was out.

780
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 3: I honestly like this because this isn't Hope doing it

781
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 3: for this guy, you know, Like, in part, yes, she

782
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:51,879
Speaker 3: is quitting it because she's fallen in love with this guy,

783
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 3: but she's not like I'm gonna go ask him if

784
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 3: he likes me, and then I'm gonna, you know, quit

785
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 3: my job. It's I no longer want to do this,

786
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 3: I've realized because of him in part, but in general,

787
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 3: I just don't want to do this anymore. I want

788
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:04,280
Speaker 3: to do sales.

789
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 2: I think you're just taking that sales position. Yeah, whether

790
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 2: it is rather.

791
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 3: Exactly which I love. I love that it's a huge,

792
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 3: I mean, like very very autonomous decision.

793
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 2: I love that, regardless of what happened with him. If

794
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 2: I can't get my head in the game anymore, and

795
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 2: I'm getting too personal. Plus now I'm realizing I want

796
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,920
Speaker 2: to be in a relationship and I can't separate the

797
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 2: spicy sleep from my feelings. Like I thought, it's time

798
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 2: to call it. This is it what I want anymore.

799
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 2: I'm hanging up my jersey. I'm retiring. The choice was

800
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,359
Speaker 2: for me, not him. Even if things didn't work out

801
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 2: with him, I realized I really did want to be

802
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 2: in a committed relationship with someone.

803
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 3: Just what you were saying. I like this story.

804
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 2: One thing that people mentioned was the idea that he

805
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 2: could turn out to be violent. When I told him,

806
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 2: I honestly didn't believe he would. But I asked my

807
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 2: friend to call and check on me, just in case

808
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 2: she knows the drill. We have safe and emergency words

809
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 2: set up, and we have a plan for if she

810
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 2: gets no response from me at all. I got my

811
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 2: shopping done and got dinner going, set the place up

812
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 2: nice and romantic, and got myself dolled up nice and

813
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,399
Speaker 2: pretty and got ready to have him over. He came

814
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 2: by around seven. He had flowers for me and a

815
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 2: bottle of wine. Now I invited him in. He said

816
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 2: he wasn't sure if he should bring payment or not,

817
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 2: and just did I told him that wasn't necessary. He

818
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 2: wasn't here as a client. I don't bring clients to

819
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,399
Speaker 2: my home. I was really hoping he was getting the hint.

820
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 2: Dinner was going nicely. We had our usual rapport, but

821
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 2: I could tell he was a little perplexed about what

822
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 2: this was all about. So I put on my big

823
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 2: girl pants, gathered my courage, and shot my shot. As

824
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 2: you all put it. I told him I was dropping

825
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 2: him as a client. He looked surprised and hurt. He

826
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 2: wanted to know why. Oh oh, he you're such a

827
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 2: natural performer. You.

828
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 3: I've called you here to Nick because I can't see

829
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 3: you anymore as a client.

830
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: Whoa what?

831
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,240
Speaker 2: Oh?

832
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 3: Man?

833
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 2: Odd nuts?

834
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 3: Because I want to see you as my boyfriend. Oh what?

835
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 3: Oh go nuts? He cleats snakes.

836
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 2: He wanted to know why I was dropping him, What

837
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 2: did he do wrong? Did something happen? I assured him

838
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 2: it wasn't about him. I was leaving the business and

839
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 2: dropped all my clients. I told him about the job

840
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 2: I took, and he wished me good luck. He said

841
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 2: I was attractive and charming, and he was sure I

842
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 2: would do well in sales. He said he was going

843
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 2: to miss me. I took a deep breath and said,

844
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 2: you don't have to miss me if you don't want to,

845
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 2: and then I spilled it. He was the only client

846
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,839
Speaker 2: I brought home to tell in person. I laid it

847
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,320
Speaker 2: all out, all the things I mentioned in the post,

848
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 2: how I felt about him. Now I didn't want to

849
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 2: be his escort anymore. I wanted to be his girlfriend.

850
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 2: I said, I understand he paid me to leave and

851
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 2: not stick around, and now I was asking to stick around,

852
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 2: and I would understand if he didn't want to continue on.

853
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 2: He said, who told you that that he paid me

854
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 2: to keep coming back, not to leave. He said he

855
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 2: felt it tube, but he wasn't sure if it was

856
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 2: appropriate to ask me. That he was still hurt over

857
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 2: his wife and that he wasn't even sure if he ready,

858
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 2: but that some of the best things in his life

859
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 2: he started when he wasn't sure if he was ready.

860
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 2: He asked me if I was okay with being with

861
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 2: someone who was still hurting over his ex. I told

862
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 2: him I could work with it, and that I wasn't

863
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 2: trying to replace her. We kissed. I led him in

864
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:24,439
Speaker 2: my bedroom and we did the down down.

865
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 3: It's not like he's not over his ex in a

866
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 3: way that they broke up and you know, he's still

867
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 3: in love with her. This is like his ex passed away.

868
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 3: It's a totally different type of, you know, thing to

869
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 3: get over and it's gonna take a lot of time

870
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 3: and he may never really, it's never gonna forget her.

871
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 3: He's never gonna stop loving her.

872
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 2: Can't. I'm gonna butcher this. But it's about grief. And

873
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:53,280
Speaker 2: I think I've said it on here maybe once before.

874
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 2: But it's that like it'll be okay. It's like, well,

875
00:39:55,920 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 2: it's like it doesn't necessarily become okay. It's just more

876
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 2: that like manageable it. Yeah, and then grief will change

877
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 2: you and you move through it and you become this

878
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 2: new person who has this loss that they experience. But

879
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 2: like you know, it's like let it affect you. But

880
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,320
Speaker 2: if it's getting in the way of living your life,

881
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 2: that's when grief is becoming like bad. Yeah, But like

882
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 2: the feeling of grief itself is like normal once you've

883
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 2: experienced it, and it won't necessarily just stop happening. We

884
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 2: spent some time after in each other's arms, talking about

885
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 2: what comes next. He offered to help me make the transition,

886
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: but I told him I wanted to try and do

887
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 2: this on my own and not rely on him. I

888
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 2: appreciated his offer, and if I needed the help, I

889
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 2: would ask, but I need to try on my own.

890
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 2: At first. He respected that. I told him that things

891
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 2: would change now as his girlfriend, I would have expectations

892
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 2: of him I never had as an escort, and he

893
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 2: was okay with that. I told him I never asked

894
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 2: or cared if he saw other women before, but now

895
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,800
Speaker 2: I wanted monogamy. I would give it and I wanted

896
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,360
Speaker 2: it in return. So if he was seeing others sports

897
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 2: that would have to end. And I reminded him I

898
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 2: dropped my clients. He said that wasn't a problem. I

899
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 2: was the only one. He spent the night with me

900
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 2: and left this morning. Where is this going to lead

901
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 2: us next? I have no idea. Maybe I'm making a

902
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 2: huge mistake. Maybe this was fate. Maybe this was gold

903
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 2: working in mysterious ways. Maybe we're just two lost and

904
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 2: loneless souls tossed around by the storm seas of life

905
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 2: that managed to find each other and cling to each other.

906
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 2: Fate fairy tale or fluke. We're gonna see where this

907
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,280
Speaker 2: leads us next, and we're doing it together. I'm excited, elated,

908
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 2: and terrified all at once. My whole life is drastically

909
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 2: changed in just one day. I didn't intend to move

910
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 2: this fast, but once this train started rolling, it seemed

911
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 2: like there was no stopping it. To everyone who said

912
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,239
Speaker 2: I was a worthless witch who could never be loved.

913
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, you two from your beautiful relationship. Don't let the

914
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 3: haters behaved. They're all lonely and exactly.

915
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 2: To everyone who expressed concern, thank you. Maybe this is

916
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 2: a mistake, but I have to find out. To everyone

917
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 2: who in courage me to go for it, thank you.

918
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 2: You were right. Without the thousands of responses to go

919
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 2: for it, I would have languished in that limbo a

920
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 2: lot longer. And by the way, you can not languish,

921
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 2: but you can hang out in our limbo, which is

922
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 2: over two thousand episodes full of stories just like this.

923
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 2: On Spotify, Apple podcast, iHeartRadio app wherever you listen to podcasts,

924
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 2: all you gotta do is search okey storytype and then

925
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 2: you can listen to it all the whole kit and

926
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 2: the koboodle included. Do you know what a kaboodle is?

927
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 2: It comes with the kit, Yeah, the kit and the kaboodle. Yeah, yeah,

928
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is. I don't know.

929
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 3: Durette says, well, this is a cute story. How are

930
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 3: they going to tell people how they met? They are

931
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 3: going to face some judgment. I mean, I'm sure she

932
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 3: already faces that if she tells anyone what she does

933
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 3: for a living.

934
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 2: I met at work, You met it work?

935
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I met it work.

936
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 2: We met it work.

937
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 3: I mean, like anyone who she's like actually very close

938
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,320
Speaker 3: to probably already knows that she's an escort.

939
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 2: I gotta imagine if you're down to be an escort,

940
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 2: you don't really you can't really be caring about that.

941
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're probably surround yourself with people who like

942
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 3: are not judgmental.

943
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 2: Hopefully, I don't know. Self assurance is gonna be like, yeah,

944
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 2: I did that. There is a little bit of story loved. No.

945
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 3: I have a friend who like kind of in a

946
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 3: less you know, less professional sense, but like what did

947
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 3: kind of do that with like older people? And the

948
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 3: main thing that I noticed was like the amount of

949
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 3: empathy that they had for the people that they were

950
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 3: like having experiences with and stuff. It was never like,

951
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 3: you know, spicy. It was always you know, more about

952
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 3: like the emotional side and well just like spending time

953
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,439
Speaker 3: with them. You know, it's like the loneliest thing.

954
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 2: So it's you know, yeah, as a final thought, I

955
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 2: want to say that this isn't normal. If you see

956
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 2: spicy sleep workers, don't think this is the norm, and

957
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 2: that the women you see may also fall in love

958
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 2: with you. While I'm sure it happens, and I've heard

959
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 2: from others who were in similar positions to mine, it's

960
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 2: really not the norm. It's like the lottery. Well, it

961
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 2: happens at some point, right, Yeah, it's like the water.

962
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 2: He's like, oh maybe maybe I'll maybe I'm the winner.

963
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 2: If you're considering spicy sleep horizontal tango work because you

964
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 2: think you can find prince charming, know that this outcome

965
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 2: is very unusual. Oh and I hated pretty women. By

966
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 2: the way, that's the end of the story.

967
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 1: Hey, it's sam og host. We're going to get back

968
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,479
Speaker 1: to these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads

969
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 1: from our sponsors to help support the show.

970
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 3: My boyfriend keeps psychoanalyzing every small thing. It's becoming annoying?

971
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 2: Is your boyfriend? In Blink twenty two All the small

972
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 2: Things background.

973
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 3: A little over a year ago, when we first started dating,

974
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 3: my boyfriend said something to the effect of, I'm really

975
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 3: good at noticing things about people like that they can't

976
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 3: or won't acknowledge themselves. I shrugged it off because whatever,

977
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 3: and he's a great boyfriend. We're perfectly happy otherwise. But

978
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 3: it started to become a problem. By the way, this

979
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 3: comes from throwa one one two one one two and

980
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 3: if you want to smit your own stories, go to

981
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay storytime supperate it the issue my

982
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:04,720
Speaker 3: boyfriend has been psychoanalyzing me with increasing frequency.

983
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,720
Speaker 2: And I'm losing my mind really annoying.

984
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 3: He'll assume he knows why I'm feeling a certain way

985
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,239
Speaker 3: or doing a certain thing, and he tends to treat

986
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 3: it like a gotcha situation. Telling him that he's wrong

987
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 3: is impossible. For example, we recently watched the new Invisible

988
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 3: Man movie together. For those who haven't seen it, the

989
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,919
Speaker 3: major plot point is that the main character is being

990
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 3: tormented by an unseen force and no one believes her.

991
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 3: There is this awesome moment of vindication when everyone finally

992
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 3: realizes that she was telling the truth, but then they

993
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 3: turn around and doubt her about one small detail. As

994
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,760
Speaker 3: we were watching, I said something to the effect of, Wow,

995
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 3: that's really obnoxious. She turned out to be right about

996
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 3: the first thing. Why would they doubt her about this?

997
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:42,840
Speaker 2: Yeah?

998
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 3: My boyfriend paused the movie, looked at me like a

999
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 3: parent who's comforting a five year old he's just fallen

1000
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 3: off a bike, and said, are you frustrated? Because you

1001
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 3: can relate? Has there been in time when no one

1002
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 3: believed you? I pointed out that the movie was meant

1003
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 3: to frustrate the audience and that my feelings weren't that deep,

1004
00:45:58,600 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 3: but he got all sure dance, so I let it.

1005
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 3: When we first started dating, these remarks didn't bother me.

1006
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,279
Speaker 3: I thought I was sweet. It seemed like he was

1007
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 3: using these questions as an opportunity to get to know me.

1008
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 3: But now it just feels very patronizing, like he's constantly

1009
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 3: trying to suggest that I'm burdened by some deep trauma.

1010
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 3: Another example, we were watching some random thing on Netflix

1011
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 3: last night and he stepped out for a moment. When

1012
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 3: he came back in, he tackled me, not in a

1013
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 3: particularly aggressive way. He's just an avid cuddler. I expressed annoyance.

1014
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,799
Speaker 3: I said, was I necessary because I'm covered in bruises

1015
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 3: and road rash from a recent accident and he'd heard me.

1016
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 3: Plus I was eating something and he knocked it to

1017
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 3: the floor. He saided and said, you're just upset because

1018
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 3: girl in the movie's getting bullied. You don't have to

1019
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 3: take it out on me. What does he just think

1020
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,800
Speaker 3: you're like a super EmPATH. It finally came to a

1021
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 3: head today. We were walking to the store and I

1022
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,720
Speaker 3: was telling a funny story about my siblings watching Phineas

1023
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:54,879
Speaker 3: and ferb. I asked if he'd seen it, to which

1024
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 3: he responded, no, I stopped watching kid shows when I

1025
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 3: was twelve. I replied that I did too, but that

1026
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 3: I have younger siblings and so I know the premise.

1027
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 3: And also that's a red flag on him. Well, it's

1028
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 3: just like, why is he limiting himself? Yeah, there's tons

1029
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 3: of great kids shows.

1030
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 2: But also that you can know that a thing exists

1031
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,879
Speaker 2: without watching so so to immediately be like, actually, I'm

1032
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 2: better than knowing what that is. It's like I've never

1033
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 2: seen so you know every episode.

1034
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 3: I've never seen Coco Melon.

1035
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,919
Speaker 2: I know what Coco Melon is exactly that a little

1036
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 2: round baby.

1037
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 3: He stopped walking and asked, in a weird therapist tone,

1038
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 3: do you like kid shows? Is this a form of regression?

1039
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 3: Is that why you play Pokemon?

1040
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 2: Form of regression?

1041
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 3: Watching kid shows isn't a form of regression.

1042
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 2: Like I would say, maybe watching Coco Melon could be

1043
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 2: a form of regression, but like watching adventure Time.

1044
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:44,760
Speaker 3: Is not a form of regression.

1045
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 2: Dude. There's some of the most like emotionally astute yes

1046
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 2: line any thing ever.

1047
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 3: Literally a show about there are tons of kids.

1048
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 2: Shows, which tells me that you're actually SuperNature because you

1049
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 2: can't understand. You're so black and white that it's like.

1050
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 3: It's like when people see like any animation and they're like,

1051
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 3: that's a that's a good show. It's like no. I

1052
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 3: calmly responded that I was starting to get frustrated and

1053
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 3: asked him to please stop. He put his arm around

1054
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 3: me comfortingly and in the same tone, said I'm done.

1055
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 3: I'm done. It's okay. I pointed out that he wasn't stopping,

1056
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 3: but he just kept using the same tone to say

1057
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 3: it's okay. I ended up shaking his arm off me,

1058
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,359
Speaker 3: turning around and walking back home without him. He came

1059
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 3: home and insisted that he's just messing around, and he

1060
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:35,200
Speaker 3: said he's just referencing the study module that we're in FDR.

1061
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 3: We're both in medical school and we've just finished our

1062
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 3: psychiatry rotation. But he's done this for over a year now,

1063
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 3: and it feels very belittling. I'm older than him, just

1064
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,759
Speaker 3: as intelligent as he is, and I've also brought this

1065
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 3: up before. He knows I hate it, but whenever I

1066
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 3: express annoyance, he kind of takes on the attitude of yeah,

1067
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 3: I know, it's uncomfortable to realize hard things about yourself sometimes. Edit.

1068
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 3: I've seen some confusion here on others social media platforms.

1069
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 3: We are medical students. We had to do a compulsory

1070
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,440
Speaker 3: six week mental health rotation. We also do rotations in

1071
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,759
Speaker 3: various other specialties surgery, general practice, critical care, et cetera.

1072
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,720
Speaker 3: Neither of us has a desire to become a psychiatrist. However,

1073
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 3: I know he's not doing it to be nefarious. It

1074
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:21,320
Speaker 3: doesn't happen that frequently, just more now that we spend

1075
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 3: our time at home together. And also I'm a little

1076
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 3: hormonal and we really are genuinely happy in every other regard.

1077
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 3: So I need to know what do I do from here?

1078
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 3: And there are some comments, but what say you?

1079
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:37,320
Speaker 2: I think this just comes down to, like, your boyfriend's cringey, yeah,

1080
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 2: and annoying and like and he doesn't listen to things.

1081
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 2: He knows literally everything about everyone's which is like the

1082
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 2: insufferable know it all thing. I that's one of my

1083
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 2: greatest fears, is the all I'm gonna know it all.

1084
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:52,880
Speaker 2: And I try, and I really don't want to be

1085
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 2: mm hmm. Sometimes I just talk a lot and then

1086
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:58,960
Speaker 2: it comes off like I'm like, I just don't know

1087
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 2: when to shut up. There was a comment in here

1088
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,240
Speaker 2: that said something about, like, no, no, it's look everything

1089
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 2: I said about him being like ew like, it's like

1090
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 2: it kind of makes it better. It's because if it

1091
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 2: was like a class they took that day and he's

1092
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 2: doing a bit that he's like a psychiatrist now whatever.

1093
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 2: Still annoying, but he's been doing this for a year.

1094
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 2: He's been doing this for a year, so that's completely irrelevant.

1095
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 3: It is this six week course he's been doing him

1096
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:19,399
Speaker 3: for a year.

1097
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 2: I'm pretty breaking up with this guy.

1098
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:24,359
Speaker 3: I would be based on everything so annoying common one.

1099
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 3: As an actual psychologist, I have to say that one,

1100
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 3: this isn't how you psychoanalyze people. Annoying your clients would

1101
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:34,720
Speaker 3: make for a really crappy therapeutic relationship, and two, don't

1102
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 3: treat your partner's family or friends like clients. I would

1103
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 3: spend a moment reflecting on what happens when he does

1104
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 3: it to you? Why is it so intolerable? Is it

1105
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,160
Speaker 3: because he isn't treating you like a partner? Is it

1106
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,840
Speaker 3: because he isn't respecting your opinions? Is it because he

1107
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 3: values his opinions over yours? Is it because he deliberately

1108
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 3: goes inst what you say? What is going on that

1109
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 3: makes it so bad? And tell him that because when

1110
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 3: you tell him to stop or that it's annoying, he

1111
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 3: obviously is not getting that. This isn't about him triggering you.

1112
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 3: This is about him being a bad partner. See how

1113
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 3: he reacts to that. If he won't stop after you

1114
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:11,320
Speaker 3: explain that, hopefully will this feels disrespectful, slash unpartner like,

1115
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,800
Speaker 3: et cetera. And I would say that's a red flag

1116
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 3: that his ego hasn't got room for you as a

1117
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 3: last resort. And I say this not as a psychologist

1118
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 3: giving advice, but as a woman who has dealt with

1119
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 3: men thinking they know everything better than me. If you

1120
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 3: really don't want to break up, try giving him a

1121
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 3: taste of his own medicine and using it to encourage

1122
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 3: some reflection and discussion from him. And if that still

1123
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 3: doesn't work, maybe that would be enough red flags. Edit

1124
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 3: to add this shouldn't be passive aggressive, and I've explained

1125
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 3: more in another common below some ideas why is it

1126
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 3: that you can't handle me expressing some disappointment with your behavior?

1127
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,719
Speaker 3: Why must you make that about me? Is criticism and

1128
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 3: tolerable for you. It's strange that you want to think

1129
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 3: of me as a patient. What do you think that

1130
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 3: says about you our relationship? Don't you think it's strange

1131
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 3: that you can't see a perfectly normal reason for my

1132
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 3: perfectly normal behavior. I wonder why you're always seeing life

1133
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:03,760
Speaker 3: through an abnormal lens. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

1134
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 3: I think you should reflect on why this bothers you

1135
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 3: so much. Comment two says, Yeah, I know it's uncomfortable

1136
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,400
Speaker 3: to realize hard things about yourself sometimes. You know what

1137
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 3: I'd say back to something like that, I think there's

1138
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 3: a really uncomfortable and hard thing you need to realize

1139
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 3: about yourself. Your constant belittling comments and pension for armchair

1140
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 3: psychology has created a pattern of insidious behavior that is

1141
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 3: so unbearable to be around. I'm starting to reconsider our relationship.

1142
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 3: If you don't take it upon yourself to correct these

1143
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 3: behavioral bad abbots, you're not going to have an easy

1144
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 3: time with things. That makes me think of the adventure time.

1145
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:40,959
Speaker 3: You're constant, You're ceaseless. Belittlement of the female gender makes

1146
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 3: me shit something.

1147
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:46,800
Speaker 2: But it's not a little bit dear disrespectively gender makes

1148
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:47,439
Speaker 2: me sick.

1149
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,760
Speaker 3: It makes me think of there is an update.

1150
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 2: I thought of another fun thing to do action while

1151
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 2: you're reading that. So now you just give him more

1152
00:52:55,320 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 2: and more increasingly ridiculous breadcrumbs to psychoanalyze. Yeah, like maybe

1153
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:01,800
Speaker 2: make him.

1154
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:04,879
Speaker 3: Convict all the signs of like some sort of mental Yeah.

1155
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, like you know, drop some hints that

1156
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 2: you were like raised in the woods in like a

1157
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 2: cult or something. Yeah, or like you know, well I

1158
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:14,839
Speaker 2: might just be mad because I never saw the sun

1159
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 2: until I was like seven years old, and then he'll

1160
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 2: like break that apart, and you'll go, I don't want

1161
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 2: to talk about it right now, Like I don't know.

1162
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:22,840
Speaker 2: I think in your heart you should be over this

1163
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 2: guy at this point in my opinion.

1164
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 3: Long updatedad Sorry for the delay. It was tricky to

1165
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 3: coordinate schedules in a way that allowed us to sit

1166
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 3: down and give the conversation the time it deserved. And

1167
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 3: I know this might be disappointing for a lot of

1168
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 3: you who were hoping for a sassy, mic drop moment,

1169
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 3: but our conversation was really level headed. Basically, I summarized

1170
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 3: my op and emphasized how it's annoying that he turns

1171
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 3: my benign comments into deep, introspective interrogations. But more than that,

1172
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,840
Speaker 3: it's incredibly frustrating and inappropriate for him to tell me

1173
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,880
Speaker 3: how I'm feeling slash why I'm feeling that way. I

1174
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 3: raised some of the points and questions that everyone recommended,

1175
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:02,239
Speaker 3: and even said at one point, it seems like it's

1176
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 3: really important to you that I feel a certain way

1177
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 3: about things or identify with something you're saying, to the

1178
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 3: point where you refuse to accept that I might not

1179
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:11,839
Speaker 3: actually feel that way, why do you think that is?

1180
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:15,200
Speaker 3: After apologizing profusely, he talked about how he likes so

1181
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 3: many of us. Was in a relationship whereas partner never

1182
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 3: really said what she was thinking and she expected him

1183
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 3: to read her mind. She'd lie about how she was

1184
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:25,920
Speaker 3: feeling and then punish him for talking, and then punish

1185
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,399
Speaker 3: him for taking her comments at face value. We talked

1186
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:31,000
Speaker 3: about why this wasn't great behavior on her part, and

1187
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,920
Speaker 3: I now understand where his habit comes from. But I

1188
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 3: was clear about how I'm not his ex and I've

1189
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 3: never been dishonest about how I feel or what my

1190
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 3: expectations are. I empathize with him, but I also told

1191
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,719
Speaker 3: him that this is his problem, that this is a

1192
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,399
Speaker 3: problem on his end, and while I'm happy to work

1193
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,799
Speaker 3: through those fears and feelings with him, I will not

1194
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 3: be punished for her shortcomings. I also ended up throwing

1195
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: in a snarky comment about how psychiatrists call this displacement,

1196
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 3: redirecting his emotions to a neutra party. He took this

1197
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 3: with a good humor and a point taken. We talked

1198
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:06,160
Speaker 3: about his comment from when we first got together, where

1199
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:08,279
Speaker 3: he said he's good at realizing things about people that

1200
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:11,640
Speaker 3: they can't or won't acknowledge, and he's embarrassed at how

1201
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 3: obnoxious it was. He admitted that he can actually have

1202
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 3: a difficult time reading others' emotions, so he tries to overcompensate.

1203
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 3: He said he sometimes suspects he might have autism, which

1204
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 3: some of you suggested, and we talked about how it's

1205
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 3: ten thousand percent okay for him to say I'm having

1206
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,960
Speaker 3: a hard time reading you right now, what are you feeling,

1207
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,840
Speaker 3: instead of just assuming he knows. We talked about the

1208
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 3: Netflix cuddle incident from his side. He came in for

1209
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 3: a snuggle because I thought I was sad about the movie,

1210
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 3: so when I asked, was that necessary, he thought I

1211
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 3: was asking about the cuddle itself and not the food

1212
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 3: loss slash pain of being tackled. So he said, but

1213
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 3: you're upset because the girl's being bullied, And confused about

1214
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 3: my annoyed tone, he added, you don't have to take

1215
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,239
Speaker 3: it out on me. He didn't recognize that he'd hurt

1216
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:56,759
Speaker 3: me again. He was horrified and apologetic about this, and

1217
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 3: when it comes to the Phineas and for a Pokemon thing,

1218
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:01,919
Speaker 3: he fully admits that he was being a complete patronizing

1219
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 3: aole without reason.

1220
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because there's no way for him to explain that.

1221
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 2: That's one where he couldn't talk his way. He just

1222
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 2: had to go, oh, yeah, there's nothing I could say

1223
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,040
Speaker 2: that makes me sound better, So I guess I did

1224
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 2: just mean that.

1225
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 3: He said he's probably projecting and promised to raise it

1226
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 3: with his therapist. Yeah, one last thing I want to address.

1227
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 3: I know some of you seem to think he's the

1228
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 3: devil and is always a horrible boyfriend, is going to

1229
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,200
Speaker 3: be a terrible doctor. This is called splitting, believing people

1230
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:30,959
Speaker 3: are either all good or all bad.

1231
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 2: This is a joke.

1232
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 3: Please don't come for me, But that's because I was

1233
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 3: asking for advice on the one bothersome thing in our relationship.

1234
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 3: I could have included every awesome thing he does for

1235
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,840
Speaker 3: me slash says to me, et cetera, and but my

1236
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:44,800
Speaker 3: post was already an essay. Please trust that he is

1237
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 3: an amazing boyfriend and we take great care of each other.

1238
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 3: As far as what kind of doctor he'll be, I

1239
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 3: understand why some of you have made that leap, but

1240
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 3: he's absolutely wonderful with patients, listens empathetically, trusts what they

1241
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 3: tell him, and picks up on things that the average

1242
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 3: person wouldn't. I've told the stories elsewhere, but I'll tell

1243
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:04,880
Speaker 3: it here too. We once had the same patient for

1244
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,920
Speaker 3: a long case presentation. She'd had a stroke, so I

1245
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 3: talked about which artery was likely occluded based on her symptoms.

1246
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:14,839
Speaker 3: Clinical mumbo jumbo thought I was clever for recognizing that

1247
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:18,040
Speaker 3: she was unrelatedly overdue for a mammogram and included ex

1248
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 3: medication occupational therapy review as part of my plan. And

1249
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 3: by the way, it should be your plan to listen

1250
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 3: to full episodes of stories just like this. Yeah, just

1251
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 3: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio and search a

1252
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,439
Speaker 3: book as start time. But that's an easy bit left

1253
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,439
Speaker 3: to the story, so we're going to jump right into

1254
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 3: it because that was in the middle of the sentence.

1255
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 2: Okay.

1256
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 3: His report was totally different. He hit the important clinical aspects,

1257
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,919
Speaker 3: but spent much more time than I had talking about

1258
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 3: the difficulties she'd face at home due to her impaired mobility.

1259
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 3: He even listed the locations and numbers of stairs in

1260
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 3: her room in her house. His plan as ex medication,

1261
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 3: occupational therapy review and talk to charge nurse about scheduling

1262
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 3: y conference room for visit so she doesn't have to

1263
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,920
Speaker 3: miss Bridge Club. I think he'll be fine, and there

1264
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 3: are some comments, but any final.

1265
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 2: As I don't know. I feel like everyone's gonna feel

1266
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 2: like I'm coming after this guy in this story right now.

1267
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 2: I don't want to be like, well, how long were

1268
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 2: you dating, because then that's the sunk cause fallacy. It

1269
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 2: just feels like it's a great time to move on

1270
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 2: to maybe someone else who might you know. I don't know,

1271
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:24,960
Speaker 2: because my heart's telling me that that guy was just

1272
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 2: saying all the right things in that moment, especially because

1273
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 2: the one example that had no way out because he

1274
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 2: just said, well, you're just being childish because you like Pokemon,

1275
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,920
Speaker 2: you're regressing. He can't be like, oh, well, I had

1276
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 2: an aunt who told me like there was no path

1277
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 2: he could take to talk his way out of that

1278
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 2: being bad, so he just fully went, yeah, that was

1279
00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 2: just me being an a hole completely.

1280
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think I'm on the hopeful side.

1281
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 3: I think that a manipulator can kind of talk themselves

1282
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 3: out of anything or like, not that people are gonna

1283
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 3: leave them, but they can come up with an excuse

1284
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,680
Speaker 3: for everything. And so I think the fact that he said, yeah, yeah,

1285
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 3: in that moment.

1286
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 2: The master manipulator move. Actually, there was no way to

1287
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 2: manipulate out of that, so he said the way I

1288
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 2: manipulated is by not manipulating, like, ough, you haven't seen

1289
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:13,560
Speaker 2: this move absolute cinema.

1290
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 3: But there's there's a little bit more common. One says

1291
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 3: as a person with autism level one, I find myself

1292
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:21,880
Speaker 3: probably over psychoanalyzing people in my head because I'm trying

1293
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 3: to make sense of everything. I make a point of

1294
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 3: it to never be confident on an assumption and just

1295
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 3: ask people how they're feeling. Because I've had someone do

1296
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 3: what your boyfriend did to me and it earned them

1297
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 3: the flattest expression I could manage. It felt so patronizing,

1298
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,320
Speaker 3: and I was angry because it meant to me they

1299
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 3: had assumed something already and were coaching the answer they

1300
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:44,920
Speaker 3: thought they knew. None of my cycle analyzing comes out

1301
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 3: of my mouth for the same reason, but I can

1302
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 3: imagine if it hadn't been done to me, I might

1303
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 3: have had made similar mistakes in that area. Heaven knows,

1304
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 3: I'm good at running my mouth and then wondering why

1305
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 3: people have crossed their arms, gone quiet and started backing away.

1306
00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 3: I've actually spent hours and hours watching psycle logical documentaries

1307
01:00:01,200 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 3: and AHA on a Live documentaries because they often cover

1308
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 3: disorders and abnormal behavior versus normal to try and learn

1309
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:11,600
Speaker 3: more about people. One of my top hobbies is basically

1310
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 3: people watching. I watch movies by myself than watch other

1311
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 3: people watch them to see their reactions. My mom hates

1312
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:19,640
Speaker 3: it when she catches me peeking at her lol. I'm

1313
01:00:19,720 --> 01:00:22,040
Speaker 3: super glad it turned out alright, and you too, sound

1314
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 3: like a pretty good couple. I'm super glad it turned

1315
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 3: out all right, and you too sound like a pretty

1316
01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 3: good couple. I've seen a lot of updates go anywhere

1317
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 3: but well so the fact that you talked it out

1318
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 3: and reached a positive outcome is so refreshing to me.

1319
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:36,760
Speaker 3: Sometimes a little communication can go a long way. Hopefully

1320
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:39,080
Speaker 3: it's a bad habit that he can be rid of quickly,

1321
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:41,200
Speaker 3: and the two of you can find an efficient way

1322
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 3: to communicate your emotions in the future. And that is

1323
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 3: the end of that story.