1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,840 Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for telling my wife that 2 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: she needs to seriously work on her mental and physical toughness? 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 2: Sh don't pull any punches, O, Bie. 4 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,399 Speaker 1: Well, this comes from a throwaway hole twenty four who says, 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: my wife thirty two female and I thirty four male, 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,240 Speaker 1: went to the gym yesterday morning. 7 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 2: At some point, my wife will. 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 1: Call her Laura scratched her finger on something. 9 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 2: Okay, Laura has. 10 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: A history of being selectively sensitive to pain and discomfort. 11 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: She is a strong and capable woman that I love. 12 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: But if it's eighty degrees with the breeze, Laura will 13 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: talk herself into it being too cold to stay outside. 14 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 2: Okay, eighty degrees is too cold. Interesting. 15 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,959 Speaker 1: The joke between us is she is like the Princess 16 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: and the Pea story. These things happen often. I am 17 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 1: not exaggerating in the slightest when I say this time, 18 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,200 Speaker 1: the cut was less than a half a centimeter wide 19 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: and two millimeters across, just surface level, no larger than 20 00:00:56,760 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 1: a paper cut. Picky paper cuts hurt like crazy. Sure, 21 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: but like maybe you complain about it for like twenty seconds. 22 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, why would you ever? 23 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: Like if you're I mean, maybe she has like like 24 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,959 Speaker 1: saying it's it's uh freezing outside when it's eighty degrees 25 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 1: is crazy, but like, I don't know, we'll see, we'll see. 26 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: Later that night, she remembered the cut and had what 27 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: I would describe as a meltdown. She said her finger 28 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: pain was throbbing. She was feeling nauseous from the pain 29 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 1: and said it was becoming too much. I offered to 30 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: clean it with hydrogen peroxide, but she said that it 31 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: would hurt too much. I said, it bubbles, but it 32 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: doesn't burn like alcohol, which is true and I don't 33 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,319 Speaker 1: know that, And you need to clean it if you 34 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: cut it on the gym equipment, because it's dirty. As 35 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: soon as I put a few drops of hydrogen peroxide 36 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: on it, she collapsed to her knees and said that 37 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,199 Speaker 1: she could not containue. 38 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 2: That's ridiculous. Yeah, big ech, bigch. 39 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: I admit that I got a little bit upset at 40 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 1: the theatrics, but it was nothing new at this point. Then, 41 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: after I rinsed the wound in the sink, she was 42 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: still on her knees crying. I told her I was 43 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: going to get some neosporin and a band aid, to 44 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: which she begged me not to add neosporin because it 45 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: would hurt. 46 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,679 Speaker 2: Neosporin is also like sporn would definitely not hurt, very tame, 47 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:10,239 Speaker 2: very tame. 48 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: I explained to Laura that neosporn would actually cause no 49 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: pain and even add potential relief. She yelled when I 50 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 1: put it on and nearly fainted. At this point, I 51 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: was a little upset and potentially the ahole. I tried 52 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: to explain to Laura that her body was very resilient 53 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: and she is a tough person because I've seen her, 54 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: because I've seen it in her workouts and the way 55 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: that she could work through beautile challenges and environments. However, 56 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: she needs to work on her physiological hang up on 57 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: discomfort like. 58 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 3: This, Yeah, this is not She's not experiencing as much 59 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 3: pain as she is letting on. 60 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: But would you like go into this whole diatribe or 61 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: be like if I. 62 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would, you know, like I could see you 63 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,679 Speaker 3: not doing that, but yeah, you're nice. 64 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 2: But I think on the other I think I would 65 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 2: get it. I think I would get annoyed the diatribe. 66 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 2: Is I get annoyed? Yeah, John's way nicer. I wouldn't 67 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:02,919 Speaker 2: say anything. 68 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,919 Speaker 1: We want to have kids in the next two years, 69 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: and in all, honestly, I don't think she can handle childbirth. 70 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 2: Right, that's what I see. That is exactly what I 71 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:10,480 Speaker 2: would think. 72 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 3: That's more like if that's why, it gives me an ache, 73 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,079 Speaker 3: and I'm like, how are you going to take care 74 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 3: of kids or like be a good parent. 75 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:24,360 Speaker 2: But it's not like if you can't handle Yeah. 76 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 4: You're fainting when putting on newsborn. 77 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's a lot. I don't disagree. I 78 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: don't disagree it's a lot. I'd be lying a come on, you. 79 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 2: Got this, I said. 80 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: I said, it's something we can work on together. But 81 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: to start, she needs to get serious and adopt the 82 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: mentality that her body can handle a lot. 83 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 3: If she needs to read some David Goggins, Yeah. 84 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 4: I have my liver. 85 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 2: Tell me I'm a butt hold and I still kept running. 86 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 2: I ran another one hundred miles. It's gonna carry the 87 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 2: boat on the log. That's you, buddy. 88 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 1: I told her it's upsetting that she seems to just 89 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,119 Speaker 1: give up and surrender to any pain, like she has 90 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: no will to shake it off. What example will you 91 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: be saying for our child? 92 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 5: What? 93 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I'm. 94 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: What would happen if you were injured and need to 95 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: get up without no, No, this is important. We ended 96 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 1: up getting into an argument about this. I feel like 97 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: an ahole, but I don't know how I could have 98 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: approached this differently, And there is an editch and some 99 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: additional context. But yeah, let's take let's take a pit 100 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: stop right here. So you are kind of like in 101 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: agreement with all of the points being brought up here, 102 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: Ye roughly I could. I, Yeah, I'm in agreement. 103 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,840 Speaker 3: I don't think I think this is important if you're 104 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:39,480 Speaker 3: thinking about a partner long term. 105 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,720 Speaker 1: I think there's there's a reframing here. I think it 106 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 1: there's there's it's like a it's like a slight tweak 107 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: and adjustment. I feel like there's some like kind of 108 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 1: attacking going on, which like there is some truth to 109 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 1: but saying like, hey, you know, when you have these 110 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: reactions and I do believe that you, I do believe 111 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: in feel that you are, that you're that you're a 112 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: tough person and can handle it, it just feels like 113 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:10,280 Speaker 1: a lot and feels annoying and like a bit much. 114 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 2: In all honesty, I feel like that is much. 115 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 3: He said that he's like in a work on your 116 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 3: physiological and mental. 117 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: Like I said, it's it's a slight tweak, sure, but 118 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: you are Yeah say that, say that. I feel like 119 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:27,359 Speaker 1: i'd though, yeah, it is. It is a lot. I 120 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 1: don't know. 121 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 2: This is Yeah, this is Riley. Would you be annoyed? 122 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,279 Speaker 4: Oh heck yeah I would. I would be like I 123 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 4: would be walking backwards relationship. 124 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 3: That yet it is crazy like that. Yeah, that gives 125 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 3: me a majorc. 126 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a very strange and unique scenario. I 127 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: will I will definitely admit that I've been in this scenario. 128 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 2: Though. 129 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 4: You have to be like, hey, I don't think we're 130 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 4: gonna be compatible, but do you bring that up? Like 131 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 4: that's one of the main points. 132 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, do you now? And and for content, this is 133 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 2: the wife. 134 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 1: So they're married and they are married and they've been together. Yeah, 135 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 1: say see their marriage. 136 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 4: And girlfriend out marriage. You gotta work through. 137 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 2: That like this is how are you married? 138 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 4: I mean this is like think what, yeah, how are 139 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 4: you married? Do you know Pound Town? How does that 140 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 4: work out? 141 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 2: Maybe he's not packing, but. 142 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,840 Speaker 4: Still like it's a paper If a paper cut, no 143 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 4: matter how much you're packing, it wouldn't it cause discomfort? 144 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: Not if you're doing it right, Yeah, there's well, yeah, 145 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: you're implying that there's like no way to have spicy 146 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: sleep without hurting any pain. 147 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, but I mean just like over the course of 148 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 4: a relationship, there's is probably gonna hurt at some point, 149 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 4: and she fainted at that any amount of somewhat discomfort, 150 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 4: she's gonna she probably would steer a clear away from 151 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 4: having sex, just. 152 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 2: Saying no, not the slightest. 153 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 4: Okay, she does work out a lot, though not in 154 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 4: the slot. 155 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 2: No. 156 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: Look, look, look if she's like like but and some 157 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: people like a little to a lot of pain in 158 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: their spicy pain at all. So okay, so let's say 159 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: that she's like zero pain on the zero pain on 160 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 1: the scale for you know, their spicyes their intimate life. Okay, uh, 161 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: then they just do positions which there are and other 162 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 1: things which are position. 163 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 4: I understand that, But like what happens if they they 164 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 4: do all those positions that have zero pain, but like 165 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 4: somehow during one position they have she has slight this company. 166 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: Like she's like, yeah, we'll just adjust it a little 167 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 1: bit easy, but like I don't know if I feels 168 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: the same as a cut though, yeah. 169 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 2: That's the cut and this are so different. 170 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 4: Okay, okay, I'm just saying, if she's reacting over a 171 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 4: cut like this, what about once like discomfort. 172 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 1: She literally says in the moment of slight discomfort like oh, hey, 173 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: can we let's let's let's adjust a little bit. 174 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, then they adjust boom. 175 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 4: I'm just saying she's overreacting to this. 176 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 2: If okay, okay, she's overreacting. 177 00:07:58,440 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 4: That's what I'm trying to say. 178 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 2: If there's an accident, does she over yet like a 179 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:02,559 Speaker 2: wrong hold? 180 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: But but yeah, but I feel like I feel like 181 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 1: it would be like, oh that like maybe an accident 182 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: or like OP like reaches over to does something in 183 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 1: like follows and trips or something, and but like that's 184 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: like such a rare scenario and it's like, oh my bad, 185 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: that was it. 186 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 3: I think I think it's not an issue. I think 187 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 3: this is a mental toughness issue. 188 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, because because OP can basically ninety nine percent avoid 189 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: those scenarios, he can't avoid her getting a paper cut 190 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: or like you know, following or like like hurting herself 191 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,559 Speaker 1: in other. 192 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 3: Scenarios, and I would get a nick I would I 193 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 3: want to know, would you if you were if this 194 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 3: is your partner would you get a nick? Yeah, and 195 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 3: like maybe reverse the guy, reverse the genders. 196 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 2: Does this give you a nick? 197 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: He's gone bro dude and this is a guy? 198 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:54,439 Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I would make 199 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 6: fun of him. This is like, this should have been 200 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,439 Speaker 6: addressed infinite. You got marriage before you got before he 201 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 6: got married. 202 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 4: What if it's a thing, it's not. 203 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 2: Oh no, no no, I think he says, oh no, no, 204 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,959 Speaker 2: this is a thing. He prints us in the p 205 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 2: this has been a thing for while. 206 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: Let's let's get into this edit in some context. First, 207 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 1: I would like to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts 208 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 1: and suggestions. Second, I would like to clarify that I 209 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 1: am one of those lucky few that married someone they 210 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:27,959 Speaker 1: consider their soulmate. Despite yeah, I'm like this seems like overcome, 211 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: despite my comments coming across as callous and patronizing, I 212 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: love and care for my wife tremendously, and I don't 213 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: believe that she sees it that way. However, I'm here 214 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 1: for that outside perspective. I'll be with my wife until 215 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: I'm dead or she finds someone better, even if that 216 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: means carrying her around for. 217 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,079 Speaker 2: The next eighty years. That's a real one. That's cute, 218 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 2: it would still give me the ack. 219 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: Lastly, while we have visited doctors in the past, we 220 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,760 Speaker 1: may not have placed enough value on getting another option. 221 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 2: I'm guessing he's talking about like, like, does she have 222 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 2: a hyper sensitivity to pain? 223 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 5: Oh? 224 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 2: Yeah? Like is this a medical issue? 225 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 4: Yeah? 226 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 1: What if it's a medical issue? Like, yeah, that is 227 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 1: something I will bring up with my wife. Again, I 228 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: do not typically hold an opinion when it comes to 229 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 1: my wife's medical care. I believe I may have an 230 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 1: old fashioned approach to doctors, as I have had some 231 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:23,679 Speaker 1: bad experiences with misdiagnoses and over prescribed treatments. My attitude 232 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: when it comes to my wife has always been to 233 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: get the care that she thinks she needs, as I 234 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,679 Speaker 1: cannot make that decision for her. We both acknowledge there 235 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 1: are differences in the way we pursue medical care. I 236 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: have never suggested her symptoms or desire to meet with 237 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: a doctor or not legitimate. When she had not gotten 238 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: to a diagnosis from doctors and they suggested treating it 239 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 1: like it was nervousness or anxiety, we both kind of 240 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,280 Speaker 1: considered it psychological, a pain in the butt, but not 241 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: overly serious as something. 242 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 2: We could work on Why not work on it? Why not? 243 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 2: What's the harm? Well, how do you know you don't 244 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 2: even know what to work on? 245 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 1: Well, they said, it seems like it might be psychological 246 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: to go to a psychiatrist just to see just. 247 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 3: Start introducing pain into your life and get better at its. 248 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:12,439 Speaker 2: Baths whipping. You can't do anything with these guys as 249 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,839 Speaker 2: my bath while being whipped. That is same solution. 250 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: As my post here would suggests that it's easier said 251 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 1: than done. It's a huge gray area trying to figure 252 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: out if you are being too controlling or enabling her. 253 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: My wife does not have red hair, which what is that? 254 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 1: Is that like like redheads can like have high pain 255 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: tolerance or something, or I'm assuming it just look. 256 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 4: Like ghosts and that they're already dead. Take that out, 257 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 4: leave it in. I love redheads. 258 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 2: You love redheads? Huh yeah? 259 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 4: Interesting, Yeah, I know it's interesting. Guess what she used 260 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 4: to be redheaded? 261 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 2: Well, naturally or not? Not? Ah? 262 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 1: See, today I learned hydrogen peroxide is no longer recommended 263 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 1: for cleaning wounds. 264 00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 2: I didn't know that. 265 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 1: Okay, also learned I've always used nears. I'm a big 266 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:05,319 Speaker 1: fan of that. But so with all that being said, yeah, 267 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 1: what if she has some sort of I mean, I 268 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: get that it's super annoying. I think where Op messed 269 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: up is he should have addressed it earlier. 270 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 3: Well, it sounds like this is not a deal breaker 271 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 3: for him. No, So I think I think he did 272 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 3: the exact right thing. He's like, you know, stuffing up. 273 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: Hypothetical scenario for you, you are five years into your marriage, 274 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: eight years into your relationship, all of a sudden, your 275 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:33,719 Speaker 1: wife starts having these like episodes constantly. 276 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 3: And all of a sudden, then that would cut my 277 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 3: finger off. It's like a personality thing. But what if 278 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 3: if that happened, then I would we would address that. 279 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 2: We would like go through and figured out why. How 280 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:44,439 Speaker 2: would you address it? 281 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 3: You would go to doctors, because that's that's a different scenario. 282 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 3: That's like someone suddenly feeling a lot more pain than 283 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 3: they usually do. 284 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 1: So you're saying, because it was this is repeated behavior. 285 00:12:54,520 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is someone who basically has like selective pain tolerance, 286 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 3: and so they're just being a little whiny brat. 287 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: I think you go to the doctors because what that 288 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: also does, in addition to potentially addressing a like unknown she. 289 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 3: Was in this exact scenario you were, Yeah, how did 290 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 3: I solve it? We started running, that's it? Oh wow, 291 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 3: introduced in like she like she was like gel like 292 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 3: wasn't used to having her muscles all sore and stuff, 293 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 3: and then started running and we just started running every 294 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 3: day and now she's doing like half marathons and stuff. 295 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 3: But initially she like would be like, oh, like my 296 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 3: feet heard and my knees hurt and blah blah blah. 297 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,679 Speaker 3: She's like, my body can't do it. I'm like, your 298 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 3: body's built out rodden. And then she started running and 299 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 3: now she runs half. 300 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 2: Marathons, running on roofs David David goggins it. 301 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, but I'm serious, Like, I think the way 302 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,439 Speaker 3: to get over this is just like start doing hard things. 303 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, which like me, start with me, and then we 304 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 4: can do hard things. 305 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 3: That's what you said, we're doing this hard thing. Oh my, 306 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 3: we're doing it. So where Sophia right, she needs to 307 00:13:58,480 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 3: set to. 308 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 2: Her up and infair fairness to you. 309 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: I think it's like, because everyone's relationships are different, you 310 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: like to do the hard things, and so if that partner, 311 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 1: if you suggest hard things, that's like a value that 312 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 1: you would share in common that would strengthen and increase 313 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 1: the chances of success in the relationship. And if that 314 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: person is like, no, I disagree with that, and it 315 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 1: goes reaches up to a point it's like, okay, well 316 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 1: maybe we're. 317 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 3: Not the exactly like it is a prerequisite to want 318 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 3: to do hard things. If you want to be my lover. 319 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 2: You got to be hard. 320 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: God, I got to be hard, right, got to be 321 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: hard to say to be saying's lover. 322 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're hard for us, make sure to subscribe 323 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 3: We're hard for you. 324 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 2: We love you and see hard for you. If you're 325 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 2: hard for us, make sure to subscribe They're hard for you. 326 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 4: I love you and we'll see it of a horrow. 327 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 2: This is an episode from Deep Within the Archives. Time 328 00:14:54,600 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 2: for okop rewash. 329 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 3: Am I the a whole for saying I won't come 330 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 3: to Christmas with my in laws if I can't wear my. 331 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 1: Hat, Sam, Sometimes there's a very special hat. 332 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 2: And what if you're bald, what if you have no hair? 333 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 2: What if it's a yamaka you? 334 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: See, Yeah, these are the questions people should be asking. 335 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, see then that that is a hate crime. Yes, 336 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 3: And if your in laws are asking you to commit 337 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 3: a hate crime against yourself. 338 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 2: No, don't, don't do it against yourself. 339 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's amazing. Don't don't hate crime yourself. No, all right, 340 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 3: this is a petty little thing. But maybe you guys 341 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 3: can help me know if I was in the wrong, 342 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 3: we will. This is exactly what will help you do. 343 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 2: Exactly. 344 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 3: We're just your We're just your too helpful guys on 345 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,479 Speaker 3: a redit trying to solve your problems. 346 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 2: That's what we are that nobody asked for. Yeah, exactly, way, 347 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 2: you're too. Reddit vigilante. 348 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: If you want some opinions, oh boy, not the opinions 349 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: you want, but the opinions you will get. 350 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: All right. 351 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 3: For context, I twenty five female got already in November. 352 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 3: Congrat sope. My mother in law doesn't really like me. 353 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 3: She even tried to steal the spotlight at my wedding 354 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 3: and is overly traditional. 355 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 2: Ouch. 356 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 3: Thanksgiving, I was having a really bad hair day, so 357 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,120 Speaker 3: I wore a black leather cap. Think about you know, 358 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 3: like the the dressier newsboy kind of one, you know, 359 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 3: talking about like a leather daddy. 360 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 2: You can toss extra extra Read all about my. 361 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 3: Sash head, which my husband said looked great on me. Yeah, 362 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 3: I'm imagining if you've ever seen like a clue clue clueless, 363 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 3: you know how they wear the little hats and clueless. 364 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 2: No, but it's the it's the newspaper boy. 365 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 3: Like yeah, or like nineties cool girl, like a small beret. Actually, 366 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 3: I was imagining like a kind of like a like 367 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 3: a like like a Peaky Blinders kind of deal. 368 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll but yes, yeah, whatever wherever that is. 369 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 3: The holiday was hostile, even more so than prior gatherings 370 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 3: i'd been to. And hebby said, Mother in law said 371 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:06,440 Speaker 3: it was because I wore a Hat's disgusting. We're gonna 372 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,440 Speaker 3: bully you until you take off the hat. That's middle 373 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 3: school rules, baby. Actually, you do anything that makes you 374 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 3: look different, you're gonna be bullied into being the same 375 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 3: lame piece of sausage that you were. 376 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 2: You know, uh the day you were born. 377 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: You wearing a hat, Get on the ground so I 378 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 1: could kick your teeth in stupid. 379 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, you look so dumb in that hat. And how 380 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,359 Speaker 5: dumb you look makes me look angry, makes me feel 381 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 5: insecure about how I look. So I'm gonna take it 382 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 5: out on you so I don't have to think about 383 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,159 Speaker 5: the feelings deep inside and my parents divorce and the 384 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 5: fact that my mom doesn't really love me because yeah, 385 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 5: I look like my dad, damn my husband all that. 386 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 2: Anyway. 387 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 3: Mother in law said it's because I wore a hat, 388 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 3: but I know that's just an excuse that's already bad 389 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 3: just singling somewhow because of their hat. 390 00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, they hate you. Yeah. 391 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 3: I told mother in law I wouldn't come to Chrismiss 392 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 3: with them, and then blocked her number and Facebook. 393 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,360 Speaker 2: A bit of an overreaction to an overreaction. 394 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 3: Yeah, two overreactions equal a big over reaction. My husband 395 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 3: is trying to keep us both happy since he doesn't 396 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 3: like conflict. 397 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 2: Who does. He wants me to maybe. 398 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,439 Speaker 3: Uh Muhammad Ali in the Ring love it. 399 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, he loves that conflict float like a bee, sting 400 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 2: like conflict and that is a direct quote ladies and gentlemen. Yep. 401 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 3: He wants me to come to one more celebration to 402 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 3: see if maybe people are getting used to me. 403 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 2: What is this? I feel like bad brobe to maybe 404 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 2: op sucks. I don't know. He's told mother in law. 405 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,680 Speaker 3: She needs to be nice and treat me as part 406 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 3: of the family since I am, and that I've felt 407 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 3: unwelcome at Christmas and Thanksgiving. 408 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 2: And if I. 409 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,919 Speaker 3: Feel unwelcome, then maybe I won't attend future events and 410 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,159 Speaker 3: see him much anymore. So that's basically what Opie's husband 411 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 3: is saying, right right. I understand why he wants to 412 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,640 Speaker 3: give her one final chance, and I don't want any 413 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 3: conflict with him. Marriage is about compromise. I get that 414 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,120 Speaker 3: he doesn't want to cut her off since she's his mother, 415 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,359 Speaker 3: but I just don't want to be involved with her 416 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,679 Speaker 3: unless I have to be. This is not setting the 417 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 3: great the right ground, no happy marriage, no no, no, no no. 418 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,400 Speaker 3: You gotta get along with the family or so it's 419 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,919 Speaker 3: either like you got to not have much interaction with 420 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 3: the family to begin with, yeah, or you got to 421 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 3: get along with the family. 422 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,800 Speaker 1: I get her wanting to limit it, but like I 423 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: think she's being like she's telling the family it sounds 424 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 1: like like I am not I hate you, I hate you, like, 425 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: just minimize it as long as they don't like, I mean, 426 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,399 Speaker 1: not liking your hat. I don't know, I don't know. 427 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,600 Speaker 3: It's hard. It's hard to tell. It's really what is 428 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 3: the hat? Is it like a strap on dildo? Like 429 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 3: a unicorn bildo? 430 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 1: It's like when have you've seen those Westboro Baptist clips 431 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 1: where a guy was just around just as Jesus and 432 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:52,080 Speaker 1: interviewing people with the black zilbos the microphone. No, oh, bro, 433 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: it's absolute classic content, absolute classic people. They used the 434 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,159 Speaker 1: spoken to it as if it was a microphone. We 435 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:01,960 Speaker 1: just had like a laugh mic or something, or like 436 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:02,879 Speaker 1: a boom all right. 437 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 3: Anyway, marriage is about compromise, and I don't want him 438 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 3: to be cut off from his mother, so sure, I 439 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,160 Speaker 3: just don't want to be involved. I wanted to see 440 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 3: if mother in law was listening to him, so I 441 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,119 Speaker 3: asked my husband to requests that i'd be allowed to 442 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 3: wear the safe hat the Christmas. So the hat okay, 443 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,959 Speaker 3: okay that she wore to Thanksgiving. Yeah, that apparently her 444 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,200 Speaker 3: mother in law hates her for She's like, I'm wearing 445 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 3: that same shit Christmas. 446 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:27,400 Speaker 2: Okay. 447 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,959 Speaker 3: Hovey said he thought i'd warn it since I had 448 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 3: a bad hair day. But this time it was a 449 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,400 Speaker 3: statement that I shouldn't be treated as an outsider because 450 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 3: I wear hats all the time. Right now, it's just 451 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,920 Speaker 3: a sports a visor, which I'd never wear to a holiday. 452 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 3: So it's not like I'm doing that. But I think 453 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,560 Speaker 3: that it's not because of the hat. I think it's 454 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 3: just because they don't like me. They won't let me 455 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 3: wear a hat. What else are they going to restrict 456 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:54,360 Speaker 3: about me? Let me be me where I won't come period. Okay, 457 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,760 Speaker 3: either I'm with the hat or you're without me. 458 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 2: Yep. 459 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 3: My husband agreed, Oh god, and relate this to his 460 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 3: mother in law, and she's been asking him why he married. 461 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 2: The devil the spawner shirt. 462 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,160 Speaker 3: My god, he's growing tense with me, and I told 463 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 3: him he'll probably have to pick a side sooner or later, 464 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 3: and then I never intended it that way. He spent 465 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,400 Speaker 3: the last night at her friend's house because he needed 466 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 3: to think. I feel bad because I care about him 467 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 3: and no conflict stresses him out. I told him to 468 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 3: text me when he was ready to talk. He hasn't yet. 469 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,880 Speaker 3: My friends think my hat request was unnecessary and maybe 470 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 3: I strayed my relationship with my husband. Oh you think 471 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:38,639 Speaker 3: he strayed asking him to choose between you or his 472 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 3: mother over. 473 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,840 Speaker 2: A fucking hat? Oh my god. 474 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 3: I think he just needed some space because conflict stresses 475 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 3: him out. So I got to ask and by the 476 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,399 Speaker 3: ahler saying, I won't come if I don't wear a hat. 477 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 1: Okay, So I do believe that OP is right in 478 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: the sense that the mother in law it's not the hat, 479 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: it's actually the deeper issues. 480 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 2: Yea law just hates it. 481 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 1: Doesn't matter, but like to tackle it in this way, 482 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 1: it's it's probably the worst possible way you could tackle 483 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: the situation. 484 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it's like I feel like she's inviting 485 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 3: conflict into her life, you know. 486 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,440 Speaker 1: So like choose me or You're like, choose me or 487 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: your mom? Like, how do you think that will help 488 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: this situation? 489 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,880 Speaker 3: No, and it won't, And you're like destabilizing his family, 490 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 3: Like it's kind of a pretty shitty thing to do. 491 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,640 Speaker 3: Not saying that the mom is being an a hole either, 492 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 3: it sounds like she is, but I think OP is 493 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,119 Speaker 3: also being the a hole. The only one who is 494 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 3: blameless and I feel bad for is the husband. 495 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:33,200 Speaker 2: Dude. 496 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: He's literally he's doing all he can, the piece all 497 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,639 Speaker 1: he can. I hate working, bro, And he's at a 498 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,199 Speaker 1: friend's house just like he's probably just like, Bro, what 499 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:42,639 Speaker 1: do I do? 500 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 2: Brain is exploding with like these girls be crazy. 501 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 3: But there's an update, John, Oh, my husband just texted 502 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 3: me saying he got off the phone with his mother. 503 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 3: He told her off for calling me the devil and 504 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 3: said that if I can't wear the hat, he's not 505 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 3: coming either, and that she really should get over her 506 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,720 Speaker 3: antiquated bs. She not respond well, I don't think we're 507 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,040 Speaker 3: going to Christmas, and so now maybe we'll hell friend, miss, 508 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:05,680 Speaker 3: I don't know, we'll think of something. 509 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're driving too much of a wedge between him 510 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 2: and his mind. Yeah, yeah, this is a bad idea. 511 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's entirely too. I think he should say, like, look, 512 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 1: I just you know she can. I think the easiest 513 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,640 Speaker 1: concession on planet Earth is for her to not wear 514 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 1: the hat. 515 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 2: Just don't wear that. 516 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: But at the same time, be like, all right, we 517 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,719 Speaker 1: won't wear the hat, but like, just like respect her, 518 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, don't don't get angry 519 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: at her for stupid. 520 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 3: Things, but we want to get angry at you stupid things. 521 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 3: So if you want to submit a story, go to 522 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:39,879 Speaker 3: our slash Okop show and tell us your craziest stories. 523 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 2: We'll read them. Give it to us.