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Speaker 1: My parents won't stop playing favorites with their grandkids, so

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Speaker 1: I refuse to help them. Hey, I play favorites with

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Speaker 1: my grandkids. I played not favorites with my parents. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: am I dayle for taking all the stuff I've provided

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Speaker 1: to my parents for my kids. Background, my parents have

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Speaker 1: always favored one grandchild over the others, and it has

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Speaker 1: been shown since day one. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 1: from Itchy ad sixty three ninety two on the R

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Speaker 1: Size Okay Storytime subrend. Granddaughter Abby Spoiled one and granddaughter

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Speaker 1: Bri Mine Younger are a couple of months apart in age.

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Speaker 1: It's fun and nice to have cousins close in age,

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Speaker 1: but my parents have always had more to do with Abby.

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Speaker 1: They've always seen her more and do more with her

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Speaker 1: than Bri, despite us both living in the same town.

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Speaker 1: Last week, me and my family spouse, son, and daughter

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Speaker 1: were invited over to my parents for dinner to celebrate

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Speaker 1: my birthday. After getting there, my mom informs me my

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Speaker 1: siblings and their family is joining us too. I say, oh,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that. She then says, well, figured you

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Speaker 1: want to celebrate with everyone. Sure, it's fine. Problem though,

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Speaker 1: is my mom doesn't have stuff at her house for

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Speaker 1: all the kids. Example, she's the only one that has

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Speaker 1: a high chair, but there's two kids at dinner that

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Speaker 1: need a high chair. Had she told me they were coming,

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Speaker 1: I could have brought one, but didn't inform me. Therefore,

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Speaker 1: granddaughter Abby got to sit in the high chair up

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Speaker 1: on the table with us, and I had to sit

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Speaker 1: with my daughter in my lap and try to eat. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: we're celebrating my birthday and I'm having a hard time

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Speaker 1: even eating. It was annoying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it sounds annoying having to eat with a

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Speaker 2: kid in your lap. That's why they make those chairs.

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Speaker 2: They're like little they're like little uh yeah restraint. They're

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Speaker 2: like little straight jackets for kids, just for the so

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Speaker 2: they could eat without without escaping way. You know, parents

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Speaker 2: understand then, yeah, they are just take a little mini jail.

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Speaker 1: It's a food jail. I had two brothers that I

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Speaker 1: had to do this with kid brothers.

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Speaker 2: Would you call it food jail?

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Speaker 1: Sure? Sure? Yeah, sometimes cake jail when it was their

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Speaker 1: first birthday, Kate. Oh yeah. Then on Thanksgiving we show

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Speaker 1: up to my parents and we're over an hour late

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Speaker 1: due to my mom never actually telling me a time

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Speaker 1: we're supposed to be there, I guess based on previous years,

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Speaker 1: which would have put us on time. They waited for

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Speaker 1: us to eat, but then again, there's only one high

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Speaker 1: chair and three kids there on the holiday who need one,

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Speaker 1: and my mom says, okay, granddaughter Abby, get in the

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Speaker 1: high chair. No one, no questions of who's going in

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Speaker 1: the high chair or if they're going to take turns. Nothing.

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Speaker 1: I'm annoyed. They all waited over an hour supposedly for

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Speaker 1: us to get there to eat, but no one said

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Speaker 1: anything to me needed to bring a high chair. I

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Speaker 1: was already bringing a lot to Thanksgiving and didn't think

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Speaker 1: I needed to bring that too, thinking she would tell

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Speaker 1: others to bring there since they weren't bringing as much

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Speaker 1: as me. Okay, whatever. My daughter's ignored, like always then

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Speaker 1: looking at the table to eat, and she doesn't have

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Speaker 1: enough to and she doesn't have enough plates set out.

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Speaker 1: At that point, I said, screw it. I'm leaving. Clearly

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Speaker 1: we're not thought of and I don't feel welcome. I

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Speaker 1: pack up the kids and get them out to the

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Speaker 1: car to leave. My son is saying he wants to

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Speaker 1: stay and eat, and my spouse says they'll take him

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Speaker 1: in so they can eat. I say, that's fine, I'm

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Speaker 1: not going back in. I stay in the vehicle scrolling

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Speaker 1: social media while they go eat. My dad comes out

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Speaker 1: and tells me to grow up and take responsibility. I

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Speaker 1: told him, y'all sat here for how long knowing there's

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Speaker 1: one high chair, and none of you thought to message

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Speaker 1: me or call me and let me know to bring mine.

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Speaker 1: He said, enough of the blame game. Take responsibility for

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Speaker 1: not bringing yours.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's not it's not really that fair.

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Speaker 1: It's not that fear.

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Speaker 2: She's it's Thanksgiving, she's got this kid. It's like, do

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Speaker 2: you know how hard it is to wrangle a small

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Speaker 2: child on a holiday when you've got meals.

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Speaker 1: And food you're also trying to bring, Like and dad,

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Speaker 1: It's not about the high chair. You have to look

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Speaker 1: deeper than this, right, It's not the high chair.

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Speaker 2: It's the baseline disrespect that is being shown to Opie

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Speaker 2: and her child.

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Speaker 1: Yep, just disregard. I said, how about granddaughter Abby goes

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Speaker 1: without it since they didn't bring one either. I supply

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Speaker 1: you and mom with all kinds of things for my

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Speaker 1: kids to make it easier on you. Yet I'm still

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Speaker 1: expected to do and bring more because what I give

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Speaker 1: is use for others and I don't care as long

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Speaker 1: as my kids are getting what they need. He told me, whatever,

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Speaker 1: take your crap, and I said I will, so I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I took everything I've given them to have for my

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Speaker 1: children when they are there, car seats, baby gates, toys, cups, plates, toothbrushes, diapers, whites,

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Speaker 1: everything that was mine.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna have to learn how to go without now.

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Speaker 1: And Abby's gonna cry now being told on the a hole.

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Speaker 1: And I hurt the other kids because I took my

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Speaker 1: stuff back I had there for my kids, and I'm

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Speaker 1: being blamed because one of the kids actually got hurt

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Speaker 1: because I took the baby gate. And I feel bad. Okay,

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Speaker 1: got hurt, but I also don't feel I'm responsible for that.

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Speaker 2: Like they're saying, okay, wait pause, because like taking the

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Speaker 2: baby gate, that might have just been one step too far.

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Speaker 2: You could take all the other stuff, you don't take

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Speaker 2: the safety equipment. But it is proving the point where

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Speaker 2: it's like, oh, well, why didn't you bring your own

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Speaker 2: baby gate? Like that would be the exact same logic

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Speaker 2: that's being thrown at her. Yeah, so's it does make

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Speaker 2: it clear that it's not fair, But don't take the

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Speaker 2: baby gate for future reference. Don't take the baby gate.

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Speaker 1: I'm responsible for my kids, not others, even when they

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Speaker 1: benefit from what I do for my kids. And when

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Speaker 1: I was told to take my stuff, I did. I

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Speaker 1: feel like they just use me for what I do

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Speaker 1: or supply what makes it easier for them, but none

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Speaker 1: of them and realize how much it is until it's gone,

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Speaker 1: and they blame me because they don't have it. So

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Speaker 1: am I the a hole for taking my stuff after

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Speaker 1: my dad told me to? And we got a freaking

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Speaker 1: up date, y'all where we going to dive into it?

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Speaker 1: Right now? We can dive in right now? All right,

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Speaker 1: let's go. High chair is my mom's, so she wanted

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Speaker 1: to add some details. High chair is my moms that

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Speaker 1: she got for her house. She has a few things

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Speaker 1: for the kids, but I supplied a big chunk of

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Speaker 1: her things for her. I believe it's my responsibility to

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Speaker 1: make sure my kids have whatever they need whenever they

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Speaker 1: are there. I didn't care if any other kids benefited

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Speaker 1: from what I brought, with the condition that it's mine

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Speaker 1: and my kids get to use it, and the others

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Speaker 1: can have it when they are present. So I left

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Speaker 1: everything on my parents' house for them to have whenever

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Speaker 1: they needed it. For any kid in my core, I

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Speaker 1: want all kids to be happy, healthy and safe. Anyone

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Speaker 1: who knows me, I will go above and beyond for

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Speaker 1: a child. I double check car seats for parents. I

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Speaker 1: buy diapers and wives and parents need it. I make

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Speaker 1: sure kids have something on their birthday to know that

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Speaker 1: you have thought of and loved. I love with all

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Speaker 1: of my heart and I give my all, and I

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Speaker 1: know that screws me at times, So believe me when

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Speaker 1: I say I was crushed and hurting when my sister

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Speaker 1: in law texting me a child was hurt because you

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Speaker 1: took your baby gate. That's what made me come to Reddit.

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Speaker 1: I questioned everything I did because of that one statement.

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Speaker 1: So thank you to those that told me not to

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Speaker 1: and it was not my fault. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: talking that happened with me and my mom about Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 1: I told her, you and Dad need to make a

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Speaker 1: plan to have food ready by one pm if you

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Speaker 1: were wanting to eat by three pm, because you guys

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Speaker 1: are always running late. Loll. She laughed and agreed with me. Therefore,

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Speaker 1: I interpreted that food was being ready by three pm,

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Speaker 1: not one pm. She never did tell me a time again,

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Speaker 1: so I planned for the normal three pm time that

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Speaker 1: I've done my entire life. We talked on the phone

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Speaker 1: three times that day and various things in regards to Thanksgiving,

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Speaker 1: but being told to bring on highchair it was not

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Speaker 1: one of them. If you ask my siblings, I'm the spoiled,

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Speaker 1: rotten favorite, being the youngest. They also refuse to see

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Speaker 1: me as an adult and not a child, so if

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Speaker 1: anything happens, I can be blamed, and I am being

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Speaker 1: in therapy for the majority of my adult life. I've

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Speaker 1: learned my family is abusive or has abusive tendencies, So

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Speaker 1: I've learned they manipulate me by telling me you're the

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Speaker 1: spoiled one, You're the baby, You're the favorite, and you

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Speaker 1: could be our favorite. Every weekd at three PMPSD. We

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Speaker 1: need you to want to slive on Facebook, Yeah, YouTube, Twitch

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Speaker 1: and TikTok boom. You'll tap your profile, You'll be our baby.

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Speaker 1: We don't care. Is OP actually the spoiled one here

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Speaker 1: or we being abusive?

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Speaker 2: Well, there's no way to know for a fact because

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Speaker 2: we don't have the full context of her entire upbringing

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Speaker 2: or anything, but.

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Speaker 1: Like it doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Feel spoiled to just be like, what come on, guys,

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Speaker 2: someone should have give me a heads up. I needed

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Speaker 2: a highchair here. And it's like, you know, whise, I

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Speaker 2: don't necessarily know if what we've read can be classified

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Speaker 2: as like my grandparents are clearly playing favorites with like

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Speaker 2: this one kid, like Abby, she's getting in the high chair.

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Speaker 2: It's like, I don't know. It seems like I'm sure

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Speaker 2: there's other contexts in which that's happened, but like there

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Speaker 2: is a point to like, if this has happened in

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Speaker 2: the past and you've had a situation where it's like

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Speaker 2: the high chair is not there, well you should be

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Speaker 2: aware maybe might be the high chair. But also this

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Speaker 2: is Thanksgiving, You've got probably a lot of other stuff

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Speaker 2: going on. If you're bringing food, yeah, you know, it's

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Speaker 2: it's understandable that that might go by the wayside, especially

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Speaker 2: if there's a bunch of people there who could give

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Speaker 2: you the heads up. Hey, by the way, we don't

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Speaker 2: have three highchairs, so you might want to bring yours

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Speaker 2: would have been nice, So I can understand that. But

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Speaker 2: then also taking the baby gate, I get I get

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Speaker 2: the line, but that one like you could have taken

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Speaker 2: everything else and not the baby gate.

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Speaker 1: Cross the line that's crossing.

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Speaker 2: Why can't I do this crossing the line?

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Speaker 1: There we go. I really couldn't figure that out. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna finish this up. A few people said to go

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Speaker 1: to my in laws for family functions. My own laws

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Speaker 1: are beyond worse than my own family. The favoritism is extreme.

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Speaker 1: Mother in law doesn't like me because I took her

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Speaker 1: baby boy away from her. Oh my gosh, but that's

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Speaker 1: a whole different can of worms. Needless to say, I'm

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Speaker 1: very low contact with them, and after this post, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be low contact with my own family. I'll

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Speaker 1: opdate after I talk to my parents about it all,

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Speaker 1: and I'll let y'all know, and I'll let y'all know

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Speaker 1: how they take being told. Me and my family will

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Speaker 1: be going low contact.

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Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: Good move, Op, that's tough, very tough thing to do.

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Speaker 2: But also, OP, you should apologize for the baby gate incident.

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Speaker 2: You should apologize if they if the kid got hurt

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Speaker 2: because you took the baby gate.

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Speaker 1: You need to really you need to apologize profusely.

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Speaker 2: Apologize for that, because it's kind of that was a

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Speaker 2: that was a high school type of move to do,

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Speaker 2: especially knowing that it's there to keep a baby safe.

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Speaker 1: There to keep a kids safe. So but yep, that's

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Speaker 1: the end.

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Speaker 2: That is the end of that story. My cousin's jealousy

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Speaker 2: destroyed my daughter's confidence, and she won't apologize. Maybe your

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Speaker 2: daughter should just be a better person. Oh, I think

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Speaker 2: she is such a good person. That's why the cousin's

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Speaker 2: so jealous does sound much anyway. Op is forty nine female.

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Speaker 2: Her cousin who's getting married is twenty three female. The

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Speaker 2: daughter in question, who is the aerialist, is sixteen female.

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Speaker 2: I hope this is okay to share. The reason I'm

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Speaker 2: posting is because of my daughter, who's been hurting in

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Speaker 2: the aftermath of a recent performance. I'm sorry in advance

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Speaker 2: for how long this turned out, but any but any

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Speaker 2: advice from fellow aerialists would be greatly appreciated.

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Speaker 1: Okay, good. I thought it was this theater and also

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Speaker 1: got to be like, oh my gosh, no aerialist. Do

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Speaker 1: you know what aerialist is?

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry you're disrespecting the theater.

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Speaker 1: I have a pretty I have a lot of baggage

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Speaker 1: with theater chicks. Okay, a fair enough. I have to

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Speaker 1: live with one. Yea, I was a theater boy. I

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Speaker 1: was a little theater rat. Yeah, man, I was. I

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Speaker 1: was John and the Little Woman John Brook.

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Speaker 2: Oh see, we didn't get to do cool plays like that.

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Speaker 2: Are anyway I could rant about my drama teacher?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you can anyway.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user throw away the

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Speaker 2: Finances on the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So my cousin,

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Speaker 2: Dana not real name, had her wedding two weeks ago,

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Speaker 2: and she asked if my daughter could perform at her reception.

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Speaker 2: My daughter, Jane, also a fake name, had has practiced

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Speaker 2: silks and lyra for the past few years at a

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Speaker 2: nearby circus studio, and she's also performed with Slash through

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Speaker 2: the studio at small gigs.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow.

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Speaker 2: Just for anyone watching who's not familiar with what we're

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Speaker 2: talking about, it's like people who do like acrobatics on

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Speaker 2: like curtains almost like you're like they're like big flowy

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Speaker 2: drapes like pieces of cloth, and they like swing around

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Speaker 2: and do all kinds of flips.

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Speaker 1: And if you don't know go to the zoo keeper

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Speaker 1: at the wedding scene that they crash and there's a

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Speaker 1: scene of these people doing that, the zoo keeper Kevin James.

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Speaker 2: Anyways, she hopes to continue this into adulthood and become

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Speaker 2: a professional teacher, but this recent incident has shaken her confidence.

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Speaker 2: She has a private Instagram to document her progress and performances,

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Speaker 2: and I only post certain performances on my Facebook. Her

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Speaker 2: first gig with the studio and her first recital, to

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Speaker 2: name a few that we're proud of.

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Speaker 1: Okay, cool, you're being an awesome mom.

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Speaker 2: Yes, w mom supportive in a way that your daughter's

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Speaker 2: comfortable with.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just like how any mom would hopefully, how any

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Speaker 1: good mom would do.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 1: My mom's great.

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Speaker 2: She's very supportive, but sometimes she can be so supportive

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Speaker 2: that it makes me anxious, and I have to tell

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Speaker 2: her to like that I love her deeply and that

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Speaker 2: I appreciate.

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Speaker 1: It so much, but that it just really needs to.

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Speaker 2: Like just a little bit less, a little bit less,

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Speaker 2: and it's not your fault, it's on me, but like, please, let's.

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Speaker 1: Why on Facebook to see what mom's saying about me.

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Speaker 2: Some of our relatives saw her performances through my socials,

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Speaker 2: and they watched her perform at her studio's Christmas recital

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Speaker 2: when we hosted Christmas at our home a few years back,

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Speaker 2: something that surprised her when they visited early to see her.

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Speaker 2: I love how they coordinated that, and Jane said it

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Speaker 2: was her loudest cheering section to date.

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Speaker 1: So that's good positive memories.

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Speaker 2: Dana was one of the relatives who came up early

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Speaker 2: to see her Christmas recital, and she's always been super supportive.

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Speaker 2: She asked me if Jane would be willing to perform

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Speaker 2: at the reception, and I asked on her behalf. Jane

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Speaker 2: was honored and excited when I did, and we already

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Speaker 2: had a portable rig for her too, though we ended

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Speaker 2: up renting a taller one from her studio. Dana got

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Speaker 2: the idea from a YouTube video featuring an aerialist who

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Speaker 2: performed at a wedding reception, and she showed us while

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Speaker 2: requesting white silks and a white outfit. We scoped out

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Speaker 2: the venue and purchased white silks along with a white

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Speaker 2: costume that Dana approved of, and Jane was really excited throughout.

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's a bold move going white costume

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Speaker 2: at your wedding, right, Like maybe they're trying to do

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Speaker 2: a little artsy thing, but like I hope she doesn't

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Speaker 2: just like flip the script and is like, I don't

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Speaker 2: want you to wear white?

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Speaker 1: Like I can see that happen. Are fans. Out of

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Speaker 1: all of the things that they've been split on with

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Speaker 1: the poll, the one thing that they're always one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent on is not worrying why to a wedding.

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Speaker 2: Jane even worked on choreography to a song that Dana requested,

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Speaker 2: and she put a lot of time into it, even

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Speaker 2: asking one of her coaches to help her with it.

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Speaker 2: Dana insisted on paying her for the gig, despite Jane

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Speaker 2: not expecting to be paid, and she paid her a

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Speaker 2: few hundred However, Dana has had a change of heart.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy.

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Speaker 2: Jane received a standing ovation after her performance that surprised her,

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Speaker 2: But we didn't know anything was wrong until Dana went

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Speaker 2: on Facebook a few days later. Dana said she didn't

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Speaker 2: approve of the outfit Jane wore and that she specifically

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Speaker 2: told her to not wear white.

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Speaker 1: Come on, look who was right? Go back to you him?

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Speaker 1: He was right and Dana's the bride, right. Ana is

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Speaker 1: the bride. Yep, you never wear right, no matter even

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Speaker 1: if the bride tells you, hey wear Why you never

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Speaker 1: wear white? Clearly. We have seen stories upon stories where

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Speaker 1: this Exac's instance has happened. You never wear white's a wedding,

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Speaker 1: no matter what.

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Speaker 2: Even if they tell you clearly, because she just flipped

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Speaker 2: the script.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: She also said that my husband and I pressured her

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Speaker 2: to have Jane perform and that the performance gave off

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Speaker 2: a quote unquote unclassy vibe lies that my husband and

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Speaker 2: I couldn't believe.

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Speaker 1: She was saying, Oh man, it was like, here's what happened,

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Speaker 1: here's what happened. You wore you had the most special

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Speaker 1: day of your life. You wore a big wedding dress.

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Speaker 1: You you had head to toe looking beautiful, and then

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Speaker 1: someone stole the attention from you for how many How

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Speaker 1: long do you think not? You know, it's a performance.

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Speaker 2: I can't imagine it's a longer than five or ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you couldn't taken it. That's so hard to

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Speaker 1: do too, It's oh yeah, it takes a lot of core. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you can't handle that. You can't handle you literally

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Speaker 1: you can't handle the attention.

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Speaker 2: You set yourself up to get upstaged at your own wedding,

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Speaker 2: and now you're making it Jane's fault instead of your

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Speaker 2: own fault. So we sent Dana numerous costume links and

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Speaker 2: we purchased the one she liked. There was also nothing

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Speaker 2: wrong with Jane's performance. Dana was one of the people

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Speaker 2: cheering afterwards. Jane received nothing but compliments, but I'm disgusted

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Speaker 2: that she had to see that post after all the

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Speaker 2: work she put into her performance. The post also had

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Speaker 2: comments disabled. For what it's worth, Oh, she wouldn't even

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Speaker 2: let people clap back. Oh, Dana, that was a cowardly move, Dana.

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Speaker 2: So I called Dana to confront her about her lives,

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Speaker 2: but she didn't pick up numerous calls. I then called

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Speaker 2: her parents, who like us, had received messages about her post,

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Speaker 2: and they said that Dana was wrong. They apologized on

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Speaker 2: her behalf and said they were also disgusted. Dana's mom

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Speaker 2: also said that Dana vented to her before making her post.

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Speaker 2: A few days after the reception, Dana told her that

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Speaker 2: she regretted asking Jane to perform given the attention, compliments,

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Speaker 2: and cheers she received.

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Speaker 1: For it.

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Speaker 2: Her mom also said that she felt upstaged with Jane

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Speaker 2: wearing white and having to hear how good she was.

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Speaker 1: This is like the guy.

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Speaker 2: This is like the meme of the guy riding a

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Speaker 2: bike and he takes a stick and shoves it into

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Speaker 2: the front wheel and falls down. Like that's what Dana

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Speaker 2: did to herself here yesterday.

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Speaker 1: It was so funny, dude.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, that's a great stunt. Like shout out to all

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Speaker 2: the stunt men who who do that? Stuntman and stunt women,

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Speaker 2: but the stunt people. Yeah, he just said he women

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Speaker 2: can't do that.

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Speaker 1: It's a great stunt. I didn't. There's stunt people, I

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Speaker 1: guess you know.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, Dana's parents tried to call her after she made

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Speaker 2: her post, but she didn't answer after their previous conversation

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Speaker 2: ended with her parents telling her she shouldn't be bitter

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Speaker 2: because she specifically asked Jane to perform. Dana's parents reported

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Speaker 2: the post along with us and others, and we've told

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Speaker 2: the truth to those who reached out along with a

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Speaker 2: post to explain our side and to stand up for Jane.

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Speaker 2: We literally have text proof of sending costume links that

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Speaker 2: Dana chose from Dana's parents also requested to talk to

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Speaker 2: Jane on the phone to apologize for Dana's behavior. My

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00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 2: husband and I told Jane that Dana was wrong and

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Speaker 2: that we'll be distancing ourselves from Dana permanently. Dana's parents

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Speaker 2: were surprised at her behavior, and we were too, having

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Speaker 2: seen her grown up. Granted, we only see extended family

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Speaker 2: for Thanksgiving in Christmas because we live far, but other

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00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 2: relatives were surprised too, as it seemed to come completely

401
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Speaker 2: out of left field. Maybe there's a site of Dana

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00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 2: we'll never know from our limited holiday slash milestone interactions,

403
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Speaker 2: but our focus is on Jane. We've tried to cheer

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00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 2: Jane up by offering to take her to dinner, among

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Speaker 2: other activities, but she's been hurting, which is why I'm here.

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00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 2: Jane hasn't practiced at home or the studio since the reception,

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Speaker 2: and I don't want to invade her space at her

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Speaker 2: studio by asking or telling anyone there in case she

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Speaker 2: doesn't want anyone to know, which is a good move,

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00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 2: good job. You need to talk to her first before

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Speaker 2: you decide to do that. She asked me to return

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Speaker 2: the white silks and costume after being so excited to

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Speaker 2: receive them. She also said she's going to take an

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00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 2: extended break from Ariel to reconsider if she wants to continue.

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00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 2: That would be a huge mistake, but we'll get into

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Speaker 2: that later.

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Speaker 1: Let's keep going.

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Speaker 2: Aside from Ariel, she's taking a break from seeing non

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Speaker 2: aerial friends too, choosing to pretty much.

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Speaker 1: Keep to herself.

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00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 2: We would appreciate any advice from fellow aerialists on how

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00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 2: to lift her spirits. We remind her of how we're

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00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 2: proud of her, along with the many compliments she received,

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Speaker 2: but she's asked for space and to not talk about it.

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00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 2: We're going to respect that and let time do its thing,

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00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 2: but we'll consider any advice from other aerialists who can

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00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,679
Speaker 2: relate to the time and work she put in. Sorry

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00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 2: for this being so long, but we appreciate anyone who

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Speaker 2: reads and takes the time to reply. So we do

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Speaker 2: have an update here. Before I get into the update,

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Speaker 2: we've got the ages. The bride is twenty three, the

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Speaker 2: performers sixteen, with the bride being twenty three and the

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Speaker 2: performer being sixteen, and like you know.

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Speaker 1: They're they're probably Joe.

435
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 2: The bride is young, it's it's understandable that she maybe

436
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,959
Speaker 2: had that immature response, but I mean it's not it's

437
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 2: not forgiven or excusable, but it's like it makes sense

438
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 2: that this isn't like someone in their thirties or forties

439
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 2: like saying this to switch up like that, you know,

440
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,160
Speaker 2: probably impulsively was like, oh, yeah, let's do the white

441
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 2: because that's what the video that I saw looked like.

442
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 2: And it's like she wasn't really thinking, and then in

443
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 2: the moment she realized, Oh, I hate how I feel

444
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 2: like I'm being It's supposed to be me.

445
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 1: It's me, me, me.

446
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 2: This is my day, my day. Yeah, and it's fair.

447
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 2: It's your wedding. You get to make it your day.

448
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,239
Speaker 2: But in terms of like how to go about I

449
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 2: think recovering the confidence, it's like sixteen is a real

450
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 2: delicate age. She doesn't want to talk about it. I

451
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,719
Speaker 2: don't think you should just let it go because it

452
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 2: could really become a damaging thing. You don't want this

453
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,919
Speaker 2: to become like a core memory that, like in four

454
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 2: how she moves throughout her life from now on, because

455
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 2: it is completely on the bride for doing the switch up,

456
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 2: for lying, for deceiving and it's because she feels insecure

457
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 2: about her own stuff and she's now projecting that insecurity

458
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 2: onto Op's daughter, and you know that's not fair to her,

459
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,360
Speaker 2: but you can't strong arm it because it's just gonna

460
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 2: make her shut down. More So, if you can figure

461
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 2: out how to have this discussion about how to you know,

462
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 2: kind of stand ten toes down and if that makes

463
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 2: sense or like be like, you know, prop even if

464
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 2: people have you know, I want to talk crap on

465
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,920
Speaker 2: you or talk down on you to like be faithful

466
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 2: in yourself and have your own beliefs in yourself. Maybe

467
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,400
Speaker 2: find a different context outside of the performance to have

468
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 2: that discussion. You know you're gonna have to maybe do

469
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 2: a little tactical conversation talk there because she clearly doesn't

470
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 2: want to talk about the moment.

471
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 1: But let's get into the update.

472
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 2: Before I get into what's happened since my last post,

473
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 2: I want to thank everyone who took the time to comment.

474
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 2: Two pieces of advice really stood out, and I'll get

475
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 2: to them shortly. Since my original post, Dana's Facebook post

476
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 2: is gone. I don't know if she deleted it or

477
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 2: if enough people reported it for Facebook to remove it,

478
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 2: but We're glad it's gone either way.

479
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, you repost that video, turn the

480
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 1: comments on, let us do its thing. That's what I

481
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: would have done.

482
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, she never apologized to us or Jane or even

483
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 2: bothered to call, so our position on being permanently done

484
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 2: with Dana stands. My husband and I made a post

485
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 2: on Facebook addressing the lies she spewed about our daughter,

486
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 2: and we shared photo proof of Dana's texts where she

487
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 2: approved of Jane's white costume from the links we sent,

488
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 2: not to mention the song choice that she sent us to.

489
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 2: Better Yet, Dana's mother reposted it on her account, which

490
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 2: really surprised me. Dana's mother wrote that they loved Jane's

491
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 2: act and that they disapproved off Dana's acttions. My husband

492
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 2: and I also made sure that Jane was okay with

493
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,200
Speaker 2: us addressing it on Facebook, and she said it was fine. Again,

494
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 2: w parenting move, making sure your child is comfortable with this. Normally,

495
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 2: I wouldn't use Facebook to address drama if it's aimed

496
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 2: at me, but since this involves a grown adult attacking

497
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 2: my daughter, a minor, we felt the need to address

498
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,880
Speaker 2: it publicly because she disparaged her publicly, and Jane will

499
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 2: remember whether we stood up for her or not.

500
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: Years from now.

501
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 2: I had a chance to speak with Dana's mother since

502
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 2: my original post on the phone, and she spoke to

503
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 2: Dana again since our last call. Dana reiterated how she

504
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 2: regretted asking Jane to perform, but she harped on the

505
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 2: standing ovation that bothered her the most. Dana told her

506
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 2: that she expected Jane to get some polite applause, but

507
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,400
Speaker 2: that the overwhelming response really sent her over the edge

508
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 2: because she expected the loudest cheers to be when she

509
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:55,199
Speaker 2: and her husband entered the reception, but that went to

510
00:25:55,280 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 2: Jane instead. So Dana's just like, I was jealous, really.

511
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: Jealous, that's what it wants from the beginning.

512
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 2: Does she think that's an appropriate excuse for her behavior? Though, Like,

513
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 2: that's absurd at twenty three to be like, but you

514
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 2: don't understand, I was really jealous and I was Everyone

515
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,719
Speaker 2: enjoyed her more than me. That's not okay.

516
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: That sounduacceptable. I have seen Worris.

517
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 2: You gotta swallow that pill like an adult and say,

518
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 2: all right, and you know what, you cheered and applauded too.

519
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 2: If I remember correctly, Dana and her husband also received

520
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 2: a great reception when they entered the reception, but Jane's

521
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 2: performance did too, and Dana didn't expect it.

522
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 1: I mean, heck, even Jane.

523
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: Was surprised by the reception she got. She had never

524
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 2: received a standing ovation from a solo act before. But

525
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 2: Dana's mother believes that if Dana had asked someone to

526
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,119
Speaker 2: sing who received a similar reception, Dana's jealousy would have

527
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 2: been exactly the same. Someone suggested seeing if Jane would

528
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 2: be interested in speaking to a therapist, given how hurtful

529
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 2: Dana's comments could be for a teen, and Jane said

530
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 2: she's open to it, so long as it isn't a

531
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 2: counselor at school, because as of now she doesn't want

532
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,120
Speaker 2: anyone at school or her studio to know about the incident.

533
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 2: And she vaguely told the coach who helped her choreograph

534
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 2: that it went fine. We will respect her privacy request

535
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: as it's her right to control the narrative. Hey, w parents,

536
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 2: they're doing everything right about this. Also, you know, I

537
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 2: can't believe I whift. I should have suggested gently advising

538
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 2: potentially therapy.

539
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 1: Here I am getting the bride behind clothes. Curtains said

540
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 1: something to the girl, what do you mean behind like, hey,

541
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: you shit, you're the worst person ever.

542
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like she like, beyond the Facebook post,

543
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 2: there was another interaction.

544
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 1: That's really gotten to Ope's daughter.

545
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, that you could be right about that using just

546
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 2: in his side. You know, at sixteen, little things can

547
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 2: really really get at you. Yeah, And all it could

548
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 2: take is like a sentence or two that no one

549
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 2: else heard, and all of a sudden you just feel

550
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 2: like you're.

551
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: Waking or if you put all your worth and this

552
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: is what's rying and this is good, and then someone

553
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 1: doesn't validate that because these are very You need a

554
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 1: lot of validation at this age. Like am I on

555
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 1: the rack track? You need to be checking with a

556
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:21,399
Speaker 1: lot of people on that.

557
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, just imagine she does that whole performance and then

558
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 2: like you know, at the end of it, she's with

559
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 2: the bride and she just lets how to Oh yeah,

560
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 2: you don't think that was maybe a little overdone, a

561
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 2: little trashy, a little bit a little unclassy. I mean

562
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 2: it was great. I love you, but I'm you know, and.

563
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 1: He shouldn't were wyat you are?

564
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 2: Now she's gonna be like ooh.

565
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 1: Uh exactly anyway.

566
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 2: But in the same vein, I suggested therapy for Dana

567
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 2: to Dana's mother since her reaction might be a bigger insecurity,

568
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 2: and she said that she'd ask. The other thing someone

569
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: suggested was the possibility of Dana's husband or anyone making

570
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 2: an inappropriate comment to Jane during the reception that made

571
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 2: her shut down and not want to see friends or practice.

572
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 2: Days before Dana's post look at this guy. Knowing exactly,

573
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: my husband decided to ask her and Jane said no

574
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,479
Speaker 2: when he did. If something happened, perhaps she'd be more

575
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 2: comfortable telling a therapist with time. But on the bright side,

576
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: she said she might want to try a different aerial

577
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 2: studio because she doesn't want to answer questions on how

578
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 2: it went or share a video at her home studio,

579
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 2: So we will help her find somewhere new, as she asked,

580
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 2: We hope she doesn't permanently leave her current studio because

581
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 2: she has friends and coaches who are supportive, and she

582
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 2: performs with that studio's troops at festivals and gigs. But

583
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 2: I personally understand the need to sometimes go somewhere where

584
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: nobody knows you for a break and we hope that

585
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: that will help her. But by the way, we want

586
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: to know you and you can know us by joining

587
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 2: our live every weekday at three pm PST. When we

588
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 2: go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, and TikTok. All you

589
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 2: gotta do is tap on our profile and if you

590
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 2: want to be a mega fan, you can stream all

591
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 2: four of them at the same time. But before you

592
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 2: go and do that, hold on for a second, because

593
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 2: we're gonna collect ourselves here and finish the story.

594
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: One thing that I.

595
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 2: I think you might you could wait for therapy, or

596
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 2: you could try to have this conversation. I feel like

597
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 2: it's an important conversation to have as parents with, like,

598
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 2: you know, a child who's at this age right where

599
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:39,959
Speaker 2: they're sort of in between adolescents and adulthood where it's

600
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: like not that it's a game, but it's like, you

601
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 2: don't want this one moment to just shatter the dreams

602
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 2: you're you're not not necessarily I mean, yeah, she kind

603
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 2: of shattered the dream because she's not she's not doing

604
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 2: it anymore, like she got real cold on it. But

605
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 2: it's like now she's like, oh, I don't want to

606
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 2: have to talk about it because you know, because it

607
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 2: makes me feel uncomfortable, it makes me feel bad or

608
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: like so I just want to like go somewhere else.

609
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 1: And that's like.

610
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 2: In a way, like that's the situation that has happened.

611
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 2: Is what's now holding the power over you? And you know,

612
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 2: really the focus point of that needs to be that

613
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 2: you crushed it and you had a standing ovation and

614
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 2: one person had a problem with it because of their

615
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 2: own problems had nothing to do with you.

616
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 1: You crushed it.

617
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 2: The only thing that had to do with Op's daughter

618
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 2: was that she did so well that it literally made

619
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 2: the bride jealous.

620
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: So it has nothing to do You.

621
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:44,239
Speaker 2: Should continue because you're excellent at it, and don't let

622
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 2: anybody steal your shine. Like that's really what it's all about.

623
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 2: So trying to have that conversation. If she's not receptive

624
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: to it, maybe she'll have to have it in therapy.

625
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 2: But I feel like that's a real important conversation to have,

626
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 2: Like don't just fold. It's like, oh, you're uncomfortable, all right,

627
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 2: we'll put you somewhere else, because sometimes you gotta stay

628
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 2: in the discomfort. That's a fact of life. Sometimes you're

629
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 2: gonna be uncomfortable, and especially if it's something a positive

630
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 2: aspect of her life that you know that's being impacted.

631
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 2: You don't want her to just like sort of fold

632
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 2: in that job, but you don't want to push her

633
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 2: too hard. You know everyone you know, I think that

634
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 2: parents know how to parent their children better than anyone

635
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 2: because they have all the context. But in general, that's

636
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 2: what I would say. So let's finish the story. She

637
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 2: hasn't said definitely to therapy yet, but if she does,

638
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 2: we will take her. She still wants an extended break

639
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 2: from Ariel in the meantime, but even if or when

640
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 2: she goes back, she said, she may never want to

641
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 2: perform again and would rather do it leisurely, one of

642
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 2: the reasons she doesn't want to return to her home

643
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,239
Speaker 2: studio where she's part of their troop. She asked if

644
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 2: we'd tell her troop coach that she won't perform with

645
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 2: them anymore if it comes to it, and if that's

646
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 2: what she wants down the road, then we will. Another

647
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 2: note here, it's like, if that's what she wants, that's fine,

648
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 2: but she needs to be the one to say it. Yep, yep,

649
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 2: she needs to be the one to say it. Hopefully,

650
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 2: time heals this wound and helps her at least keep

651
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 2: the friends that she has there. But we can only

652
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 2: hope and that is the end of that story.

653
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: Wow.

654
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 2: I mean I think maybe with some therapy and with

655
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 2: a good conversation, you know, I understand wanting to be like,

656
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:27,719
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say that they're babying her right now,

657
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 2: right because it's like everyone's different, and if she is

658
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 2: really sensitive, I mean clearly I'm gonna go out on

659
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 2: a limb and say she is very sensitive because this

660
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 2: is clearly impacting her. And who isn't sensitive at sixteen?

661
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 2: You know?

662
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 1: Oh oh oh, oh, yeah, I'm.

663
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 2: Talking about the daughter. I'm done with Ariel. I don't

664
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 2: want to go back to here. And it's like, you know,

665
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 2: she's been crushing it there and now this one thing

666
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 2: is just like sending her down. But I think Dana

667
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 2: needs to apologize to Yeah, that's a big thing. Once

668
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 2: that happens and you clear the air, she can probably

669
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 2: come back. But it's gonna take tom.

670
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 1: It needs to. Yeah, I think if.

671
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 2: I don't know if the daughter was involved in any

672
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 2: of the conversations with Dana's parents when they called and

673
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 2: apologized on her behalf, but I think if she wasn't

674
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 2: definitely have that be a thing she needs to hear

675
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 2: from outside that she did nothing wrong.

676
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,399
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story. I've seen

677
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 1: in that story, and I refuse to throw a baby

678
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: shower party, but my family threw one without me. Anyway,

679
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 1: sounded like you really needed a shower. That must it

680
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 1: must have stunk over there.

681
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole for going no contact with

682
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 2: my family and my husband's family because they had my

683
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 2: baby shower without me. I'm posting because I'm curious what

684
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 2: other people's reactions would be if they were in my situation.

685
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 2: It also seems like I'm the odd one out since

686
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 2: people think I'm crazy or rude or awful insert whatever

687
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,879
Speaker 2: bad name possible. By the way, this comes from user

688
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 2: low phrase sixty six eighty five on the r slash

689
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: Okay storytime subrend it. So this situation happened right at

690
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 2: the height of COVID in August of twenty twenty. I

691
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 2: don't want to make this a long post, but I

692
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 2: do think all the information listed below is relevant to

693
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 2: the story.

694
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: Bullet points. I love bullet points.

695
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 2: My husband worked in a hospital with active COVID patients

696
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 2: all of my in laws were high risk for contracting COVID.

697
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 2: At the time, pregnancy didn't make you high risk. We

698
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: were still learning about the disease. Now I believe it does.

699
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if I were to have a baby

700
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 2: shower it would be towards the end of my pregnancy,

701
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 2: because that's when I would feel comfortable that the likelihood

702
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,720
Speaker 2: of a miscarriage is lower. Now onto the story. COVID

703
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 2: was pretty rough on all of us At the time.

704
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,720
Speaker 2: I had a three year old and I was pregnant

705
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 2: with really really bad nausea as well as aches and

706
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 2: pains that seemed to never end. The nausea didn't even

707
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 2: go away with medications. I did my best to stop

708
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,439
Speaker 2: it and just continued life as normal as possible, even

709
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 2: though we were stuck inside and all of our activities

710
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 2: were no longer happening. My husband, as I mentioned, and

711
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: worked in a hospital and he dealt with COVID patients.

712
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 2: Because of this, we were extremely careful. When he came home.

713
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 2: He would remove his clothes and shoes and put them

714
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 2: in garbage bags. He would immediately put them in the

715
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:14,479
Speaker 2: washing machine, bathe in our downstairs bathroom, and then would

716
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 2: come up to see us.

717
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,799
Speaker 1: Okay, so he was super extra careful. I mean, yeah,

718
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 1: he was.

719
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 2: I feel like working in a healthcare setting, it's like

720
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 2: you're gonna you're gonna know how to be careful too.

721
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 2: We would sanitize and wear masks when necessary. Basically, we

722
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 2: followed protocols that were told to us at the time.

723
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 2: My in laws, however, had different plans, which they are

724
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 2: entitled to. They didn't quarantine, they didn't socially distanced. They

725
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 2: shared masks and had large gatherings at their house, one

726
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,760
Speaker 2: of which was a wedding in their backyard. I didn't

727
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 2: want to go, but my husband convinced me. We wore masks,

728
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 2: socially distanced and didn't go inside the house. I will

729
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 2: admit I was angry because I was told everyone would

730
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 2: be wearing masks except the bride and groom, but no

731
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:58,799
Speaker 2: one did. I maintained my distance and told myself, I'm

732
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 2: not doing that again. It was very obvious that I

733
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 2: was trying to stay safe. My husband included it was

734
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 2: very hard to keep a three.

735
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,280
Speaker 1: Year old away from the people he loved.

736
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 2: And I sincerely was doing it for their benefit, knowing

737
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 2: that we were the ones who could contract it since

738
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 2: my husband worked in healthcare and could give it to

739
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 2: his family. One of my sister in laws kept telling

740
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:20,800
Speaker 2: me that she would see us in a few weeks.

741
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 2: I was confused at first, but didn't think much of

742
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: it because I was too nauseous and tired and dealing

743
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 2: with my toddler to try to decipher what that meant.

744
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 2: Got a very understandably yeah. When it came closer to

745
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 2: the date, I had a feeling that she was throwing

746
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,320
Speaker 2: me a baby shower. However, I'm not a baby shower

747
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 2: type of girl. I don't mind if other people have them,

748
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 2: I just don't like them for myself.

749
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: I have a friend that's not a birthday kind of guy. Friend.

750
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: I was like, Hey, what are you doing for your birthday?

751
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 1: I want to come blah blah blah. I feel like

752
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 1: it's pretty common.

753
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 2: I was like that for a long time. I'm just

754
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 2: now starting to come out of that.

755
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: Yeah he is. He invited me to his birthday. Actually

756
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 1: I invited myself to his birthday thing. Wow, I'm glad

757
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 1: that you did to.

758
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 2: I had a baby shower for my first kid, and

759
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 2: I told my mom and sister in law explicitly that

760
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 2: I am only doing this for you all, and because

761
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 2: it's the first grandchild on both sides. They knew this

762
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 2: before my first baby shower, and they definitely knew this

763
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 2: while planning this one. My husband has since told me

764
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 2: that he told them I wouldn't like it because of

765
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 2: this feeling. I texted my sister in law a few

766
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: days before the date she told me, and I asked

767
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,800
Speaker 2: if she was having a baby shower for me. She

768
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 2: said yes. Isn't that great when people plan things you

769
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 2: explicitly don't like?

770
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 1: Yeah?

771
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. I told her that I'm not going to be

772
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 2: able to attend. I have very bad nausea as I

773
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:46,280
Speaker 2: have been having especially lately, and I'm tired, and more importantly,

774
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 2: it would be irresponsible of me to have her put

775
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,720
Speaker 2: something together like this given the circumstances. We were literally

776
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 2: a town that had just become red, which meant the

777
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 2: numbers were going up pretty severely, and they were warning

778
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: us to remain six feet and whatever else advisory.

779
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 1: O Oh, yeah, they were in the red.

780
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 2: I also told her that it's a really nice and

781
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 2: thoughtful gesture, but I wouldn't be able to morally live

782
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 2: with myself if we convened and someone got severely sick,

783
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 2: just because I wanted to party, which again I didn't

784
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 2: and would never as I'm extremely introverted.

785
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 1: She said okay, and I thought it was done.

786
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 2: I get a call the next day from my friend

787
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,399
Speaker 2: saying that my sister in law called her to say

788
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 2: I'm not coming to my baby shower and that I

789
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 2: my friend probably don't want to go since I wouldn't

790
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 2: be there. The friend was super super cautious and still is,

791
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 2: and was only going to my baby shower to make

792
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,320
Speaker 2: me happy. She literally felt like she was risking her life.

793
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 2: My sister in law told her safety precautions were going

794
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 2: to be in place and that it would be outside.

795
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,240
Speaker 1: So she agreed.

796
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 2: She called me surprised because she thought it was a

797
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 2: surprise for me, But then my sister in law called

798
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,760
Speaker 2: and told her that I knew and that I wasn't coming.

799
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 1: What is going on there?

800
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 2: How do you throw a baby shower when the mom.

801
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 1: Is not there? Yeah, they're just it's yeah, It's like

802
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 1: they like they were trying to surprise her.

803
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 2: They like booked like a really expensive like musical artist,

804
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 2: so they're like, we're still doing it.

805
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: Dog is there?

806
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 2: We already paid Kesha one hundred grand for your baby shower.

807
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 2: You have to come, So I told my friend, Yeah,

808
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 2: I would never do this, and especially during a time

809
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 2: like this, especially knowing who my family is. Unfortunately, literally

810
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 2: no one in my family is healthy. High blood pressure, cancer,

811
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 2: high cholesterol, health issues, asthma, severe allergies, fragile bones, arthritis,

812
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 2: just to name a few conditions. And this is just

813
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 2: off the top of my head, with the in laws

814
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,719
Speaker 2: in my mom's side of the family. My friend and

815
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 2: I hung up, and I thought nothing of it. It's done,

816
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 2: no harm, no foul, right. I literally thought she was

817
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 2: making her calls to whoever she invited. Till this day,

818
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 2: I don't know who, and I just thought it was

819
00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:02,280
Speaker 2: over wrong, Oh no, yeah, and then continues it rolls.

820
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,959
Speaker 2: The next day, my older cousin texts me and tells

821
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 2: me that since I didn't show up to the baby

822
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 2: shower and I didn't want the homemade cupcakes, she would

823
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 2: take them back home with her. I said, what, you

824
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 2: were invited, it's happening, how I was shocked.

825
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 1: Since you didn't show up, I'm taking my homemade cupcakes

826
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,800
Speaker 1: for myself. Well, you had the baby shower, but I

827
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 1: it's my baby. Yeah, woaho was somebody, cause playing as me.

828
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 2: That would be pretty awkward. Like okay, I mean, I

829
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 2: guess it could be cool. It's like, oh, y'all were

830
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 2: all celebrating me even though I wasn't there. That's kind

831
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 2: of sweet. But I feel like I feel like they're

832
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 2: not doing it for OP. I feel like they're doing

833
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 2: it for themselves. Oh yeah, of course, So it's like

834
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 2: it's not that really, it's not that sweet.

835
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

836
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:52,320
Speaker 2: No, I couldn't believe that they had my baby shower

837
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 2: quote unquote without me. I felt terrible because she is

838
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 2: another one who literally had not left her house since March,

839
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 2: worked from home, her kids were home from school, her

840
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,720
Speaker 2: wife also worked from home. She had her groceries delivered,

841
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 2: the works. Again, another person risking their lives to please me.

842
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 2: But it wasn't for me, especially knowing that they had

843
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 2: the entire event without me, didn't cancel anything, and didn't

844
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 2: follow any supposed protocols. I was immediately angry, immediately hurt, shocked.

845
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 2: Whatever feeling I likely had it other than happiness. Oh

846
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 2: till this day, I'm still confused as to how anyone

847
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 2: would think it's okay to have a baby shower when

848
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 2: the mother is in present. Yeah, that's like so common sense.

849
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 2: Thankfully I'm not sad or angry or hurt anymore, but

850
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 2: it's definitely still insane to me.

851
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:45,399
Speaker 1: It is pretty work.

852
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what I guess they just that family just

853
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 2: loves baby showers, and I.

854
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 1: Would make more sense of it. It was like Op's

855
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: first kid, but this is a second kid. Yeah, it's like,

856
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: we don't need to do this again.

857
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 2: And she's literally already explained her position of I did

858
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 2: this for the first kid so that the grandparents could

859
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 2: have this experience, so that, you know whatever, don't really

860
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:06,919
Speaker 2: feel a need to do it again.

861
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 1: And plus with everything happening in the world at that time, Yeah.

862
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 2: In the middle of COVID, at the height of the

863
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 2: beginning of COVID, we didn't really know anything about it,

864
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:18,879
Speaker 2: so it's like extra spooky. My husband immediately went into

865
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 2: defending his family. My cousin told my mom and aunt

866
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 2: that I wasn't happy about what was going on. They

867
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 2: both called and tried to defend themselves. My mom in

868
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:32,800
Speaker 2: particular said quote, I wanted to celebrate my grandchild and

869
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 2: you can't stop me.

870
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 1: From doing that. You have your own celebration. Oh, it

871
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: sounds like you already did.

872
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I guess I kinda that makes sense a bit,

873
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:44,759
Speaker 2: but I don't know. It feels like purposefully excluding the

874
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 2: mom is weird where it's like would you want to

875
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 2: at least like how are there on a video call anything?

876
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 2: But it's like the mom is like, I don't want

877
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 2: to do it. So I guess it makes sense that

878
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 2: they wouldn't reach out that hard because they're like, well,

879
00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 2: she already said she doesn't want I don't know. This

880
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 2: is a strange situation.

881
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, what would you call that? Not baby grand baby shower?

882
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 1: I'm having a baby shower for my grandchild anyway, And

883
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 1: you know what, She's right.

884
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 2: I can't stop her from doing that, even though I

885
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 2: think it's crazy. But do it at your own party

886
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 2: with your own friends. Why make me aware of it

887
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 2: at all? As though it was for me that that

888
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 2: actually is the clarify that that clarifies why it's weird.

889
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 2: It's because if the grandparents wanted to celebrate the grandchild,

890
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 2: they could have done it within their own unit. But

891
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: it was like, oh, PE's friends that were like quarantining

892
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 2: and isolating, like during this moment went here being like wait,

893
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 2: where's ope like that? That would make me like, what

894
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:46,879
Speaker 2: are we doing?

895
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: Like what it's like?

896
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 2: What are you trying to flex that you don't care

897
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:53,280
Speaker 2: about like COVID Like to my friends who care about it, that's.

898
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 1: Weird to my husband that works in this field.

899
00:44:55,719 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, Anyways, I see this as a major betrayal. My

900
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 2: mom and I have had a very tumultuous relationship. She's

901
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 2: been physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually abusive. My aunt has

902
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 2: defended her, and my other aunts and grandmother think that

903
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,359
Speaker 2: she can do no wrong. Oh, Mom's the golden child.

904
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 2: She's the one who told my sister in law to

905
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 2: still have the party because, according to my mom quote,

906
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 2: I would show up, but my sister in law knew

907
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:27,280
Speaker 2: I wouldn't because I told her. She told my friend

908
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to be there, meaning my sister in

909
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 2: law also knew I wouldn't be there. I gave my

910
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 2: reasoning about COVID being bad at the moment, plus my

911
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 2: other ailments. None of those stipulations had changed from one

912
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 2: day to the other. My in laws were confused as

913
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,879
Speaker 2: to why I was angry, like it was no big

914
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 2: deal that the person who you're literally having the baby

915
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 2: shower for isn't there as though they didn't treat me

916
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 2: like a surrogate before. Here's more evidence. I blocked all

917
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 2: of my in laws. I also blocked my mom and

918
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 2: my aunt and haven't spoken to them. So I wrote

919
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 2: an email to my sister in law explaining why, with

920
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 2: a long laundry list of things that were pretty similar

921
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 2: to this in the sense that they don't respect me,

922
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 2: my boundaries, my generosity, or my willingness to always go

923
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 2: above and beyond, and basically this is the amount of

924
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 2: respect I get. Yeah, that's clear. I feel like it's

925
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 2: not just this moment, it's all these other things that

926
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 2: have happened and led up to this moment that was

927
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 2: like the end of the fuse where yeah, I'm done

928
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 2: with you people. Yeah I don't need thank yous. I

929
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,760
Speaker 2: just need you to respect me and consider my feelings.

930
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 2: But nope, it's just about what they want and they

931
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 2: wanted the party, so they partied without me. My brother,

932
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 2: who I still speak to, called me a week after

933
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 2: the event to update.

934
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 1: Me on his life.

935
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 2: He went to the party, but he didn't know where

936
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 2: he was going. My mom told him to jump in

937
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 2: the car and told him she was going to a party.

938
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 2: My brother didn't ask any questions, which is very typical

939
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 2: of him. As they were driving, she told him that

940
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 2: it was my baby shower, and he immediately was surprised.

941
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 2: He said that this wasn't for my sister because if

942
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 2: you knew her, you'd know she wouldn't want this. My

943
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 2: mom told him that I knew about it and nothing else. Yeah,

944
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,279
Speaker 2: w brother, Yeah, there we go. So you know your

945
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 2: kid knows the sister so well. He's like, you're doing

946
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 2: what a thing? She definitely doesn't want. Yeah, she hates that.

947
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:22,760
Speaker 1: Hmm okay.

948
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 2: He decided to stay because he was moving out of

949
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 2: the country and this was his last time seeing all

950
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 2: of these people nice at least for a long while.

951
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 2: I still haven't seen him, so yeah, it's been a

952
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 2: long while.

953
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 1: He said.

954
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 2: They wanted to take video to send to me, and

955
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 2: every time they would pivot to him, he would ruin it,

956
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:44,760
Speaker 2: according to them by saying this isn't for op.

957
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 1: Uh.

958
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,880
Speaker 2: Again, this fact only further proves that they were aware

959
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:53,960
Speaker 2: and that they saw nothing wrong with what they were

960
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:57,320
Speaker 2: doing after I blocked them. I've gotten many passive aggressive

961
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 2: things done to me. For example, when my son was born.

962
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 2: My husband and kid and new baby all got gifts

963
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:09,399
Speaker 2: from one sister in law congratulating them, not me, just them. Well,

964
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 2: which is that's targeted for sure.

965
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

966
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 2: Another sister in law delivered donuts and coffee for my

967
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,839
Speaker 2: husband and toddler with a card saying for all your

968
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 2: hard work, as though they did anything.

969
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, they had to deal with you.

970
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, good job being born kid. I'm sure that was

971
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 2: you know what, low key? That probably is some hard work.

972
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:30,839
Speaker 1: What being born? Oh yeah, dude, I was didn't get born.

973
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 1: What did you get What do you mean? Did you

974
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 1: get sea sectioned? No, I got sea sectioned. Oh okay,

975
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,520
Speaker 1: that's just the old baby. Yeah that's too big. Head

976
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 1: was a big old baby. He said, No, we got

977
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: to cut this thing. Did you ten pounds two ounces?

978
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 1: Du dude? My brothers were like twin pounds, like twelve ounces? Yeah,

979
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 1: I think all three of them. I was young. I

980
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 1: was the littlest. I was eight pounds six ounces. And

981
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 1: that's the littlest that's the littlest. It's crazy. Yeah, but no,

982
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 1: I like had ambillical quarter on my neck. I wasn't

983
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 1: breathing for the first time, and it's apparently there's something

984
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,359
Speaker 1: in my mouth and had to get it out. I'm

985
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,320
Speaker 1: just gonna make it. You're ready to snack From the

986
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 1: first moment of existence. Yeah, people were like I was

987
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 1: born ready. I was like I was not. I was

988
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 1: born very confused. I was born about to die.

989
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 2: Uh. During the delivery, they constantly called to see if

990
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 2: the baby was born, but not to see how I

991
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 2: was so much so that my husband wasn't present with me,

992
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 2: and I can't help but think that it was on purpose.

993
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 2: After our baby was born, our doctor advised that no

994
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 2: one see the baby before at least three months, so

995
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,879
Speaker 2: we complied. My husband would often FaceTime, and I would

996
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 2: constantly hear, oh, he has dimples like me, meaning my

997
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:42,720
Speaker 2: sister in law when I literally have two. Any feature

998
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 2: of mine that was very clearly mine, they would try

999
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,360
Speaker 2: and attribute it to themselves or some long lost relative of.

1000
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 1: Theirs, very very weird, like this is my baby. Yeah.

1001
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 2: These people inexplicably, I guess the in laws and the

1002
00:49:58,680 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 2: sister mom too.

1003
00:49:59,880 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 1: Is It's like they got it out for you. Soon

1004
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 1: as the system blog, I was like, sign these papers

1005
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 1: and you're like, uh, these are adoption papers, Like yeah,

1006
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 1: this is my baby. Yeah, clearly, just look at it.

1007
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 2: It looks just like Anyways, when both my kids look

1008
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:17,960
Speaker 2: exactly like me, that's a pretty weird thing to say. Literally,

1009
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 2: their hair color, texture, the dimples, the face, the smile.

1010
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 2: I've been told that we look like twins by others,

1011
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 2: but of course it's your uncle's kids kid. Sure. Now,

1012
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,399
Speaker 2: anytime anyone asks me why I'm not around, I get

1013
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 2: the dirty looks and the comments, the really infuriating comments

1014
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:37,720
Speaker 2: of but they're your family are the worst.

1015
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 1: But I just grin and bear it. Anyway, that's my story.

1016
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 2: Am I the A hole? I don't think I am,

1017
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 2: especially given the context. But you can get all the

1018
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 2: context you need every week day at three pm when

1019
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:57,280
Speaker 2: you join us live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, and TikTok.

1020
00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 2: All you gotta do is tap our profile and you're in.

1021
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 2: We might even be live right now, but before you

1022
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 2: check on that, we're gonna coalesce our thoughts here and

1023
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 2: finish this story. So I would say, with all the contact,

1024
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 2: not the A hole, but without all that, I would

1025
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 2: have thought it was pretty extreme to cut all those

1026
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 2: people off for having that the baby shower without you,

1027
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 2: especially saying after you said that you didn't really care

1028
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 2: to have one. So it's like it's kind of harmless

1029
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 2: at that point where it's like, well, if they just

1030
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 2: want to do that, I guess they're free to do it. Yeah,

1031
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 2: but it was also lame of them to invite your

1032
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 2: friends and not tell your friends that you weren't gonna

1033
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:36,399
Speaker 2: be there, Yeah, because they just assumed you would pull through.

1034
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 2: And I think that goes back to the just lack

1035
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 2: of respect, Like they don't Yeah, they got no respect

1036
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 2: for you. So it makes perfect sense that you would

1037
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 2: cut those people off, Yeah, after everything else they had

1038
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 2: also done beforehand.

1039
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, So cut them off. Low contact, low contact.

1040
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 1: The brother's great, brother's great, you know, but he's gone now,

1041
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 1: so and people can you know, I don't know.

1042
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 2: It just seems so systemic through the whole family, Like

1043
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,400
Speaker 2: all the in laws aren't they don't respect your autonomy,

1044
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 2: and like this is also a weird time.

1045
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:13,799
Speaker 1: It's COVID time, very weird time.

1046
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:17,439
Speaker 2: But like, just it does seem like there is quite

1047
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 2: a bit of like just a complete lack of respect

1048
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 2: for you as an individual who could make their own decisions.

1049
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 2: And the baby stuff. Not attributing the baby characteristics to

1050
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:30,800
Speaker 2: you is weird. Not giving you a shout out on

1051
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:35,839
Speaker 2: the thank you card is just weird. Yeah, so let's

1052
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 2: finish this story. Here's some questions before I ask, Oh boy,

1053
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 2: we got more bullet points. The baby shower was in

1054
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 2: a home, no venue to cancel or deposit to lose

1055
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 2: out on. Everything, to my knowledge was refundable and was

1056
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:52,239
Speaker 2: theirs already. My in laws knew the rules as they

1057
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 2: were very on top of watching the news twenty four

1058
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 2: to seven. My mom and aunt also work in another hospital,

1059
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 2: and although it's not pat care, they had to be

1060
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:05,240
Speaker 2: constantly tested and followed the same procedures as the doctors, nurses,

1061
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 2: and medical staff. I didn't block anyone or go no

1062
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 2: contact solely because of this issue. It was merely the

1063
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,439
Speaker 2: straw that broke the camel's back. God, I love having

1064
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 2: mind melds with OP. I love thinking the same thing

1065
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 2: as OP. It's just like a light switch went off

1066
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 2: and I realized the relationships no longer serve me, if

1067
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 2: they ever even did in the first place. I've been

1068
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 2: in therapy for about five years, twice a week to

1069
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 2: get over my crappy childhood.

1070
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. Oh, he's

1071
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:41,960
Speaker 1: doing a lot of work, this hard work. Op, that's good.

1072
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 1: You realize your family's taking advantage of you and not

1073
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 1: even giving you props for all the hard work of

1074
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 1: doing it. Some of that the therapy might have helped you.

1075
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 2: Come to this realization of like, oh, wow, no, this

1076
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,880
Speaker 2: this is just not certainly whatsoever. Wow, my family sucks,

1077
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 2: And I'm very glad that you've realized that and are

1078
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 2: moving forward without them in heavy contact with your family.

1079
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 1: That's great. That's the end of that story. He's the

1080
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 1: end of that story. My husband cheated on me, so

1081
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 1: I left him. We got back together, but I'm still

1082
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:17,560
Speaker 1: in love with somebody else whoa a lot going on there.

1083
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 1: My twenty three female husband twenty four Mal and I

1084
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 1: have been married for three years. We will call my

1085
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 1: husband Ben for this story. At the time Ben and

1086
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 1: I had first met, he was on temporary military duty

1087
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,800
Speaker 1: in my hometown. I was working part time, trying to

1088
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 1: make it through college. It felt like a whirlwind romance

1089
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:39,879
Speaker 1: being with him in the few weeks he was here,

1090
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 1: but he quickly went back to his primary duty station

1091
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: active duty. Nonetheless, he wanted to make it work, so

1092
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 1: we decided to date through long distance. Shortly after meeting him.

1093
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 1: I also decided to join the military active duty and

1094
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:57,320
Speaker 1: landed in a technical training for over six months in

1095
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:57,919
Speaker 1: twenty twenty.

1096
00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 3: That's hard long distance military military long dicisce y, That's hard.

1097
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Character Maine eighty seven

1098
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 1: twelve on the r slash Okay story Times Up read it.

1099
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:13,760
Speaker 1: So when it came time to put my dream sheet

1100
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:17,720
Speaker 1: of duty stations together almost a year later, I decided

1101
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 1: to put my number one, as Ben's current duty station

1102
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:23,360
Speaker 1: said they could be together. I was lucky to get it,

1103
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,799
Speaker 1: but as I finished technical training for my military job,

1104
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 1: I found out he cheated on me.

1105
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 3: Oh, gonna be in the Aria.

1106
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:36,240
Speaker 1: This ended up being three weeks before I was supposed

1107
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 1: to move there. Oh. I had a good feeling, but

1108
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:42,560
Speaker 1: I was crushed. Ben and I had been dating on

1109
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:44,399
Speaker 1: and off for the last year and a half. At

1110
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 1: that point in twenty twenty one, I felt like I

1111
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:50,200
Speaker 1: had wasted my time and now I was headed directly

1112
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:53,720
Speaker 1: to where he was stationed. Truthfully, it was my worst

1113
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,879
Speaker 1: nightmare and I hadn't gone to gotten to the best part.

1114
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,160
Speaker 1: With this new information, I had already scheduled leave for

1115
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 1: this to go back home for a couple of weeks.

1116
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 1: I ended up meeting a guy who will call Jake

1117
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 1: twenty six mel since I wasn't dating Ben anymore.

1118
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:12,319
Speaker 3: Okay, so they he cheated on her, she breaks out

1119
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 3: with them, and then she goes back home for a

1120
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 3: little bit. Yep, and Jake comes into Jake is in

1121
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 3: the picture. Now, Jake's in the picture.

1122
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: This guy was funny, sweet, attentive. We had quite a

1123
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 1: bit in common when it came to everything else. It

1124
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,439
Speaker 1: wasn't just our lust or chemistry with him. It felt

1125
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 1: natural for me. I practically spent my entire two weeks

1126
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 1: with him, even though I was just sat down on

1127
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:36,239
Speaker 1: the road from my family. At this point, Ben and

1128
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 1: I hadn't been back together for a few weeks, and

1129
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 1: I didn't think about him at all. He was completely

1130
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,760
Speaker 1: off my mind. Although I wasn't staying in the area,

1131
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 1: Jake wanted to keep talking to me. Funnily enough, he

1132
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 1: was also on active duty in the same branch as

1133
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 1: Been and me, So I left at the end of

1134
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,200
Speaker 1: my leave and we continued. So she's back with She's

1135
00:56:58,239 --> 00:57:02,520
Speaker 1: back with Ben or no, she's back with Jake. She's

1136
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:04,440
Speaker 1: kind it seems like she's like maybe with Jake. A

1137
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 1: little bit after I arrived at Ben's duty station, Jake

1138
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,399
Speaker 1: and I were facetiming every night. He ended up going

1139
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 1: to a deployment in New Jersey not long after, so

1140
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 1: I took the time I could with him. He actually

1141
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 1: talked to a few of his friends about me and

1142
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: suggested dating. He had told me people get married all

1143
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 1: the time in the military after doing long distance, so

1144
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:24,160
Speaker 1: we could make it work and it was sweet, But

1145
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:27,200
Speaker 1: with Ben being in the same town, I decided to

1146
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 1: cut things off. I wasn't feeling resolved about my relationship

1147
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,880
Speaker 1: with Ben or my feelings towards him. Jake had been

1148
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 1: had been cheated on before, and after just being cheated

1149
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 1: on myself, I decided to be brutally honest with him

1150
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: about how I felt. Jake and I had officially cut

1151
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 1: contact at that point, and he respected my boundary.

1152
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 3: So Jake and op have cut contact, Yes, yeah, so okay,

1153
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:53,720
Speaker 3: So what it seems like Opie and Jake started seeing

1154
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 3: each other. He left, and then she was already going

1155
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 3: to be stationed at Ben Ben's place, and then she

1156
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 3: He's like, Okay, well, I'm gonna be kind of around him.

1157
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 3: That's a little complicated. I don't really want to have

1158
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 3: to think about another relationship while I'm still addressing my

1159
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 3: feelings about this, Okay, which is fair. I think that

1160
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 3: you know, if you're not ready to be in another relationship,

1161
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 3: if you're still like dealing with the feelings for the

1162
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 3: last one, don't move on.

1163
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:22,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. Truthfully, I had deep feelings for Jake, but

1164
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: I didn't want to risk hurting him either. In almost

1165
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 1: the same week, I ultimately ended up finding out Ben

1166
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 1: cheated on me with our friend's sister, Sarah, and I

1167
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 1: didn't know at the time, but in short, he cheated

1168
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,040
Speaker 1: on me with this girl. I broke it off, he

1169
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 1: started dating her, and then she did on her with me.

1170
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 2: No, Ben sucks, then keep it in your pants.

1171
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:46,880
Speaker 3: Oh my god, go back and find Jake. Go get Jake.

1172
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 3: Oh pee, go get Jake.

1173
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 1: Apologizing and say, go get him.

1174
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 3: Drop Ben, get Jake.

1175
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:55,200
Speaker 1: Oh say the lace. Neither of us knew, but she

1176
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 1: never found out. I also discovered there were a few

1177
00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 1: other times he cheated on me before this, so this

1178
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:04,320
Speaker 1: unfortunately didn't end up being the first time. Regardless, I

1179
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: felt guilty. I didn't know they were dating at all.

1180
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 1: I figured she was just a fling. What's crazier is

1181
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 1: that after he cut ties with Sarah, I found out

1182
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:18,360
Speaker 1: I was pregnant. A couple of months later, she's pregnant. Now.

1183
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:23,360
Speaker 1: This happened at the same time he got military orders

1184
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:24,480
Speaker 1: to a new duty station.

1185
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 3: Oh this is so tough. Oh my god. So he's

1186
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:32,680
Speaker 3: leaving again to a different place. This is a ye yay.

1187
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:35,360
Speaker 1: From there, we had a quick wedding so we could

1188
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:39,960
Speaker 1: get joint military spousal Yeah, they together, and we would

1189
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 1: have been together ever since. But I do love Ben,

1190
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 1: and I'm trying every day to make it work. But

1191
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 1: that's not to say I am getting over this whole

1192
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 1: situation didn't take time or was easy. At the moment.

1193
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:54,280
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I'm in love with him anymore. Our

1194
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:56,760
Speaker 1: relationship has been dragging since the start of the second

1195
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:59,200
Speaker 1: year of our marriage, and I feel like we've had

1196
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:03,000
Speaker 1: nothing more or in common. On the other hand, I've honestly, look,

1197
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 1: I feel like been still cheating on her.

1198
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:07,160
Speaker 3: I'm really worried about that because we know that Ben

1199
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 3: cheated on her and then cheated on the girl that

1200
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 3: he cheated on her reth with Art, So it's like

1201
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:16,240
Speaker 3: a whole circle of cheating. There's so much and she's

1202
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 3: not in love with him anymore. So I really feel

1203
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 3: like this relationship is not I mean, it's not good

1204
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 3: for you to continue if you're not Obviously a kid

1205
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:26,400
Speaker 3: makes it complicated, but if you're not in love with

1206
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:28,040
Speaker 3: you him, you're not happy.

1207
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:29,720
Speaker 1: Because, like I feel like in a relationship, once you

1208
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 1: get married, you do have those you might have those

1209
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 1: points where like I don't feel like I love this person.

1210
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 3: I think you can talk to him about it.

1211
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 1: You have to work through them. And I don't think

1212
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 1: you can work through this because he's moved on and

1213
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:42,240
Speaker 1: like cheating on you left and right.

1214
01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I think it's either you can try and

1215
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:48,000
Speaker 3: go to therapy and have that conversation with him, But otherwise,

1216
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 3: is it, you know, is it worth it to be

1217
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 3: in this relationship with him when he's like you know,

1218
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:58,439
Speaker 3: cheating is cheated a lot on multiple people. And yeah,

1219
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 3: Jake seems seems looks looking pretty good.

1220
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,959
Speaker 1: Jake's looking like a great options. On the other hand,

1221
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:09,960
Speaker 1: all I have is continuously think about Jake over the

1222
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:13,640
Speaker 1: last few years. I'm sure he's forgotten about me, as

1223
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 1: I was probably just the blip in his life. And

1224
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 1: I assume he's probably been over me for a while,

1225
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:20,160
Speaker 1: but don't get over us because we go live every

1226
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 1: weekday at three pm PSD just to have her profile

1227
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,919
Speaker 1: for me. Though I can't get him out of my mind.

1228
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 1: It's been like a broken record that keeps replaying all

1229
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:31,560
Speaker 1: the time. I'm married Ben and we share a child,

1230
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:33,840
Speaker 1: so I stay to try to make it work. He

1231
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 1: hasn't cheated on me since Sarah, and our relationship has

1232
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:37,480
Speaker 1: been pleasant.

1233
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:40,120
Speaker 3: Otherwise, Okay, you don't want it to be pleasant. Pleasant

1234
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 3: is just like man, it's fine, it's good. I guess

1235
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:44,520
Speaker 3: you wanted to be like great.

1236
01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:47,400
Speaker 1: You wanted to be awesome. You would be not perfect,

1237
01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 1: but yeah.

1238
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 3: But like exciting and brings you joy.

1239
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:54,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. Now. Through twenty twenty four, Ben and I moved

1240
01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:57,040
Speaker 1: back to our hometown to be close to a two family,

1241
01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 1: and I found out Jake is still stationed here, but

1242
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 1: ended up landing a decent drop at his current duty station,

1243
01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 1: working in the same occupation. It wasn't deliberated, but I

1244
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 1: was about to fall flat on my face from military

1245
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 1: contract that had ended and no other job offer paid

1246
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,480
Speaker 1: as much as this position. While I have no intention

1247
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 1: of reaching out to Jake for respect for my marriage

1248
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 1: and commitments to Ben's starting to gnaw at me. I've

1249
01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 1: been telling myself since twenty twenty one that this would

1250
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:26,240
Speaker 1: go away as these feelings I still have for Jake

1251
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 1: or temporary. But here we are years later. I guess

1252
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:32,560
Speaker 1: I'm still looking for options on this mess. How could

1253
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 1: I handle still being in love with a man I

1254
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 1: met three years ago after my husband then boyfriend cheated

1255
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 1: on me And I don't know how to get rid

1256
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 1: of these feelings and have been shameful slash guilty about it.

1257
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:47,080
Speaker 1: Thanks in advance for any advice.

1258
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:51,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think my advice is to end this relationship. Yeah,

1259
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 3: it's stagnant.

1260
01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:55,800
Speaker 1: It's stagnant. It's prob you guys have a lot of

1261
01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 1: stuff to work through. If it seems like you were

1262
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 1: putting a lot of work in right now, yeah, and

1263
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:01,600
Speaker 1: Ben is not.

1264
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 3: But also I think that it's still good like just

1265
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 3: because you you know, you put in all this work

1266
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:11,400
Speaker 3: and you you know, work together to try and get

1267
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:14,120
Speaker 3: over the cheating and stuff. That's still good in terms

1268
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:16,760
Speaker 3: of co parenting because it means that you're not gonna

1269
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:19,479
Speaker 3: like scream in each other as long as you're still

1270
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 3: like friendly. That's still a positive for the future, but

1271
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 3: it doesn't mean that you have to stay with him.

1272
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1273
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 3: Also, I don't even think if you if you do

1274
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:30,960
Speaker 3: end up leaving, don't You don't have to go with Jake,

1275
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 3: but you can find It just means that you can

1276
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,240
Speaker 3: find someone out there who's gonna be a better fit

1277
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 3: for you.

1278
01:03:36,800 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, mmmm, that's tough.

1279
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story. But thank

1280
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:46,480
Speaker 3: you for watching. My girlfriend prioritizes her late boyfriend's family

1281
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 3: over me, I'm leaving her.

1282
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:50,560
Speaker 1: Dang, this is like the completely opposite of what we

1283
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:51,040
Speaker 1: just read.

1284
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 3: My girlfriend's last boyfriend died in a car crash some

1285
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 3: years ago. My girlfriend told me about this when we

1286
01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 3: became official. Now, she's still close to her dead boyfriend's

1287
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:03,400
Speaker 3: mom and dad, and she wants to introduce me to them.

1288
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 3: Could not, could go, could go a little bit awry. Yeah,

1289
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 3: I thought it would be awkward, but I decided to

1290
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:12,040
Speaker 3: go along with it. After all, she mentioned that she

1291
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:14,760
Speaker 3: considers them just like her own parents. By the way,

1292
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:19,160
Speaker 3: this comes from Throwaway HDA DJ sixty five eighty two

1293
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:23,120
Speaker 3: on the Best Predator Updates subburd It. We've visited them

1294
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:26,560
Speaker 3: a few times and the dad made comments. One time,

1295
01:04:26,680 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 3: the dad talks about how manly his son was, how

1296
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 3: he used to work on cars. You could always tell

1297
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 3: he was a real man because his hands were always dirty.

1298
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:35,520
Speaker 3: Wash your hands.

1299
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:40,160
Speaker 1: I worked eighteen half and hours on a roof today.

1300
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 1: Day I worked forty eight hours in the minds, and

1301
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 1: you're over here talking on a politic case. This is

1302
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:50,120
Speaker 1: real man's work.

1303
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 3: Is real life?

1304
01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 1: Is that a real life cover? Kind of? Kind of?

1305
01:04:55,920 --> 01:04:57,480
Speaker 3: He asked me what I did for work, and I

1306
01:04:57,600 --> 01:05:00,800
Speaker 3: work it as an accountant. He said, yeah, I can

1307
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:03,240
Speaker 3: tell it was something like that. Your hands haven't seen

1308
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:04,160
Speaker 3: any real work.

1309
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:06,440
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because all my hands see are green from

1310
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 1: all the money that I'm working with.

1311
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 3: It's been like this every time we visit them. He

1312
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 3: mentions how great his son is. That something and asks

1313
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 3: me something, then says how unmadly I am. I would

1314
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:18,360
Speaker 3: talk to my fiance or wife.

1315
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:22,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, girlfriend, boyfriend, Oh, that would be so funny. If

1316
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:23,680
Speaker 1: it was a boyfriend, I would talk.

1317
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 3: To You're not madly enough. I would talk to the

1318
01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:30,960
Speaker 3: girlfriend and be like, hey, your late husband's family. Its

1319
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:33,520
Speaker 3: kind of being really mean to me. Oh, it's comparison.

1320
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:37,480
Speaker 3: Comparison that's the thief of joy. But I told my

1321
01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:40,760
Speaker 3: girlfriend about it, but she says I'm just being insecure.

1322
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 3: That's a red flag on her part and I shouldn't

1323
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:44,920
Speaker 3: feel threatened by it. I told her I don't want

1324
01:05:44,960 --> 01:05:47,080
Speaker 3: to visit them anymore, and we got into a pretty

1325
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:49,560
Speaker 3: big fight. She said that that maybe the dad is

1326
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,920
Speaker 3: right and I need to be more manly.

1327
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:56,040
Speaker 1: But I think you should leave this AKA up.

1328
01:05:56,480 --> 01:05:58,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, definitely break up. This is the fact that

1329
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:01,680
Speaker 3: not only is she allowing the dad to say this,

1330
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:04,960
Speaker 3: but it's also kind of reinforcing it or like agreeing

1331
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:09,440
Speaker 3: with it. Op's comment Commoner says, I know you must

1332
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:11,439
Speaker 3: miss your son a lot. He sounds like a great guy,

1333
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 3: but please stop insulting me using him. Neither you or

1334
01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:17,720
Speaker 3: my girlfriend will remember him any less with me here,

1335
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,080
Speaker 3: and Op says, I can already hear him say that's

1336
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:25,320
Speaker 3: some crap. He doesn't seem like a sensible guy. Update.

1337
01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:27,400
Speaker 3: I broke up with her.

1338
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:31,440
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, quick, quick and easy. B r E

1339
01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:32,400
Speaker 2: k you.

1340
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:37,160
Speaker 1: B r E A ak u p.

1341
01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:47,800
Speaker 3: B r e A K up. You should break up

1342
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:50,240
Speaker 3: with hur Op who.

1343
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:56,920
Speaker 1: Was a girlfriend? Wow?

1344
01:06:57,440 --> 01:07:00,760
Speaker 3: Update I broke up about after talking to some friends

1345
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:03,600
Speaker 3: and reading some of your comments, I realized that this

1346
01:07:03,720 --> 01:07:06,240
Speaker 3: kind of behavior from both the dad and my girlfriend

1347
01:07:06,880 --> 01:07:09,600
Speaker 3: was unacceptable. I didn't say anything to the dad because

1348
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:11,200
Speaker 3: who cares why I am since I haven't had a

1349
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,760
Speaker 3: chance to see him since the last time. Anyways, I

1350
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,120
Speaker 3: think I gave them slack due to the tragedy of

1351
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,720
Speaker 3: what happened. But I think I gave them way too much.

1352
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:22,080
Speaker 3: As harsh as as sounds, I am so relieved I

1353
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:25,520
Speaker 3: won't ever have to hear about her dead boyfriend ever again.

1354
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:28,800
Speaker 3: I feel great tbh, and you guys can feel great

1355
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 3: too by joining us live every weekday at three pm PST.

1356
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:36,600
Speaker 3: Just tab her profile relevan comments. Commenter says, good job

1357
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:39,360
Speaker 3: they were taking out their grief and sorrow onto you,

1358
01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:43,160
Speaker 3: trashing you as compared to her ex. No one should

1359
01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 3: willingly put themselves through that. What was her reaction? Did

1360
01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:48,800
Speaker 3: you cite the comments about her ex as the main reason?

1361
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:51,440
Speaker 3: Op says I did. I told her I was tired

1362
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 3: of her father in law quote unquote talking to me

1363
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:57,200
Speaker 3: that way and her taking his side. She didn't apologize

1364
01:07:57,280 --> 01:08:00,360
Speaker 3: or anything. She said I was overreacting, and we talk

1365
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:03,080
Speaker 3: about this. I told her I had already tried. She

1366
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:06,880
Speaker 3: told me that I should just leave then, and I did. Ope, claifyes.

1367
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:09,560
Speaker 3: I'll be honest, I don't feel bad. As soon as

1368
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 3: I got home after breaking up, I realized that I

1369
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 3: won't ever have to deal with father in law. But

1370
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,720
Speaker 3: not only that, I don't have to ever see the

1371
01:08:17,800 --> 01:08:21,519
Speaker 3: dead boyfriend's face or even hear his name ever again.

1372
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:24,680
Speaker 3: It may be harsh, but I'm not agonizing over it

1373
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:27,200
Speaker 3: or anything. If anything, I'm relieved.

1374
01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:31,519
Speaker 1: I will say having a family going. I know this

1375
01:08:31,680 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 1: is a late boyfriend, but being around a family that

1376
01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:37,760
Speaker 1: your significant other likes is game changing. I used to

1377
01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:40,600
Speaker 1: be around a family that they didn't like me do

1378
01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:42,599
Speaker 1: my self esteem, but now.

1379
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:47,240
Speaker 3: I need my boyfriend's family to like me.

1380
01:08:47,560 --> 01:08:49,960
Speaker 1: So he's been around them, I've met his mom. Got

1381
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:52,759
Speaker 1: to go well, okay, one left.

1382
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 3: I mean I got it. I got a chocolate from Paris.

1383
01:08:56,760 --> 01:08:58,400
Speaker 3: She loved it. She said, thank you.

1384
01:08:58,680 --> 01:09:01,920
Speaker 1: Oh wow. Look at that smile, dude. Every time she

1385
01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:05,719
Speaker 1: talks about the boyfriend, she gets smiley like this and everything.

1386
01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 1: It's it's crazy. My boyfriend put his best friend before me.

1387
01:09:10,439 --> 01:09:11,439
Speaker 1: Is our relationship over?

1388
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:15,560
Speaker 3: It depends depends, It depends on the best friend and

1389
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 3: your relationship who I don't know, well.

1390
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:21,040
Speaker 1: Find I don't know. I twenty female, am from Brazil

1391
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:23,639
Speaker 1: and here it is a tradition that in a birthday party,

1392
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:26,400
Speaker 1: the person whose birthday is being celebrated is the first

1393
01:09:26,439 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 1: slice of their cake their favorite person after everyone sings

1394
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:31,360
Speaker 1: the birthday song. I've seen this on social media. It

1395
01:09:31,439 --> 01:09:34,559
Speaker 1: is so cute. By the way, this comes from sorry

1396
01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:40,360
Speaker 1: header on the r slash storytime on the Okay storytime subreddit.

1397
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,760
Speaker 1: Go check it out. Put your stories there. I know

1398
01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:47,000
Speaker 1: I butchered that username. This week was my boyfriend's twenty

1399
01:09:47,040 --> 01:09:51,200
Speaker 1: four mal and he had three celebration my boy friends

1400
01:09:51,200 --> 01:09:55,280
Speaker 1: birthday Yeah, one with his birth family, one with his

1401
01:09:55,400 --> 01:09:59,680
Speaker 1: adopted family, and one with friends which was a s

1402
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:03,360
Speaker 1: ice picnic that I planned and organized. Cute. He had

1403
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:07,160
Speaker 1: a very difficult life and his moms are really important

1404
01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:10,320
Speaker 1: to him, as the adoptive mom saved him from starving

1405
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:13,280
Speaker 1: as a kid and raised him on my giving him

1406
01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:16,920
Speaker 1: a chance at live. And this birth mom battled very

1407
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:21,600
Speaker 1: hard against poverty at her life, struggling and fighting to

1408
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:26,439
Speaker 1: keep her kids alive and well. So, of course I

1409
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:29,000
Speaker 1: never expect him to give me the first slice of

1410
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:32,960
Speaker 1: cake at the family celebrations. I see you, I see you.

1411
01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:37,000
Speaker 3: So she's like, probably gotta give it to his birth mom. Yeah,

1412
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:38,120
Speaker 3: like that makes sense.

1413
01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:43,440
Speaker 1: But then there was the picnic. I spent weeks planning

1414
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:47,400
Speaker 1: and reaching out to all his childhood friends, making sure

1415
01:10:47,439 --> 01:10:49,360
Speaker 1: they would come. I went to bed at two am

1416
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:52,479
Speaker 1: the night before making him his favorite cake. I spent

1417
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,840
Speaker 1: a shiz ton of money with food, drinks, and gifts.

1418
01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:59,240
Speaker 1: I did not do it because of the first slice,

1419
01:10:59,439 --> 01:11:02,840
Speaker 1: of course, but all times I couldn't help. But the thing,

1420
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:03,720
Speaker 1: now it's my turn.

1421
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:06,320
Speaker 3: Okay, so it bes like I didn't. I planned this

1422
01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:08,000
Speaker 3: whole thing for his birthday, but I didn't do it

1423
01:11:08,240 --> 01:11:10,760
Speaker 3: just to get that first flight, the first slice that

1424
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:15,240
Speaker 3: says I'm the favorite. But is waiting to get that slice.

1425
01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:19,320
Speaker 3: She's like, I want to be the first lie. I

1426
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:20,599
Speaker 3: want to be someone's first plaice.

1427
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 1: Oh, that'd be so cute. Turns out it was not.

1428
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:25,840
Speaker 1: He has a best friend of many years and she

1429
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:28,280
Speaker 1: and him are like brother and sister. They went through

1430
01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:30,920
Speaker 1: a lot of crap together, like her losing her mom,

1431
01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 1: him not having food to eat at home as a teen,

1432
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:35,880
Speaker 1: and even though they are close, they don't get the

1433
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:38,680
Speaker 1: chance to see each other very often as of now.

1434
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:41,599
Speaker 1: They both are very busy with life and all this shit.

1435
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 1: So of course he took the chance to show her

1436
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 1: some appreciation. She was so happy, And of course I

1437
01:11:48,439 --> 01:11:51,679
Speaker 1: understood this situation. He sees me every day and has

1438
01:11:51,800 --> 01:11:55,200
Speaker 1: the chance to honor me almost daily, and he always

1439
01:11:55,280 --> 01:11:58,000
Speaker 1: makes me feel really loved and on and he can't

1440
01:11:58,080 --> 01:12:00,599
Speaker 1: do that with her. Also, I understand, and he wanted

1441
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,320
Speaker 1: to show her that him having a relationship does not

1442
01:12:03,560 --> 01:12:07,160
Speaker 1: mean she is not his sister anymore a priority in

1443
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:10,439
Speaker 1: that sense. I'm not jealous because I know there is

1444
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:15,479
Speaker 1: nothing romantic between them. She's pretty gay, and she's pretty gay.

1445
01:12:15,560 --> 01:12:19,680
Speaker 1: She's pretty gay and polyannamorous, polygamous polygamus, and he is

1446
01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:24,920
Speaker 1: most nomous monogamous man in the world, and he worships.

1447
01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:27,759
Speaker 3: Me, worships I just let it upside.

1448
01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:33,519
Speaker 1: Oh okay, she said, right, like what worship? Just go

1449
01:12:33,560 --> 01:12:36,120
Speaker 1: ahead and read the roost. I couldn't help, but at

1450
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:38,479
Speaker 1: least feel a bit. I don't know, just do I

1451
01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:42,160
Speaker 1: need to explain? Maybe disappointed, maybe unappreciated. I feel like

1452
01:12:42,320 --> 01:12:44,920
Speaker 1: I can never be the most important person in the room.

1453
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:47,920
Speaker 1: We always talk about getting married. We are each other's

1454
01:12:48,120 --> 01:12:51,920
Speaker 1: life and still get me. Also, he did this in

1455
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:54,519
Speaker 1: front of everyone, in front of all our mutual friends

1456
01:12:54,560 --> 01:12:57,439
Speaker 1: who really don't know her and all she means to him.

1457
01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:00,920
Speaker 1: So I guess I felt kind of embarrassed. Am I

1458
01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:03,280
Speaker 1: just viencing? I want to go home and cry a bit.

1459
01:13:03,479 --> 01:13:05,960
Speaker 1: I know I'm being childish, but I guess I will

1460
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:07,960
Speaker 1: keep it that way for now. We have an update

1461
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:09,240
Speaker 1: six hours later.

1462
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:13,400
Speaker 3: Okay, let's put a poll up. Well, OPI hasn't done anything,

1463
01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:18,320
Speaker 3: OPI has not done anything. I think this is I

1464
01:13:18,400 --> 01:13:20,240
Speaker 3: think sometimes I mean like, as long as she doesn't

1465
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,839
Speaker 3: take it out on her, I don't think her boyfriend

1466
01:13:22,840 --> 01:13:25,639
Speaker 3: has done anything wrong. And you know, because especially because

1467
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:29,040
Speaker 3: we know why he gave the slice to the friend

1468
01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:30,920
Speaker 3: and was trying to show some appreciation for all that

1469
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:34,479
Speaker 3: hard stuff they went through, which OP recognizes. I think

1470
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:38,280
Speaker 3: sometimes we get jealous. And as long as she's not

1471
01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:41,280
Speaker 3: taking this out on her boyfriend, I don't think she's

1472
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:42,040
Speaker 3: done anything wrong.

1473
01:13:42,120 --> 01:13:44,320
Speaker 1: Right now, miss jay Bird, he already shows you who

1474
01:13:44,400 --> 01:13:45,680
Speaker 1: cares who gets a niece of cake?

1475
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:48,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think right now is what she needs to hear,

1476
01:13:48,600 --> 01:13:51,600
Speaker 3: is that. Yeah, this is like it's totally. You know,

1477
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:53,599
Speaker 3: it's normal to feel little bit jealous sometimes as long

1478
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:55,200
Speaker 3: as you're not taking it out on other people and

1479
01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:58,439
Speaker 3: you're realizing that he loves you. And but sometimes we

1480
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,880
Speaker 3: have those thoughts in our head that are like unreasonable,

1481
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:03,320
Speaker 3: and we know they're unreasonable, and we just kind of

1482
01:14:03,320 --> 01:14:05,519
Speaker 3: have to we have to shut them up. Yeah, so

1483
01:14:05,560 --> 01:14:07,080
Speaker 3: I don't think she's the a hole yet.

1484
01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:09,439
Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of like those bad thoughts

1485
01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:09,920
Speaker 1: are coming up.

1486
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:12,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, Sometimes you have those interested thoughts that are like, ah,

1487
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:16,280
Speaker 3: why didn't he pick you? It's like, okay, well we

1488
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:19,439
Speaker 3: know why, but sometimes it's hard to tell her, you know. Yeah,

1489
01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:20,560
Speaker 3: convince ourselves with that.

1490
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,519
Speaker 1: September eighth, six hours later, Hi everyone, thank you for

1491
01:14:23,640 --> 01:14:25,600
Speaker 1: all the kind of comments. Me and my boyfriend have

1492
01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:30,400
Speaker 1: different energy spams, so I usually leave hangouts a lot

1493
01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:33,040
Speaker 1: earlier than him. Are you laughing at me or opie? OPI?

1494
01:14:33,400 --> 01:14:35,719
Speaker 3: Okay, good, Yeah, I read the energy spams.

1495
01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:39,560
Speaker 1: I read that, yeah, which is what happened today. So

1496
01:14:39,680 --> 01:14:41,639
Speaker 1: I love posted the story and read it and took

1497
01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:44,240
Speaker 1: a shower and started to paint my nose. About three

1498
01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:47,040
Speaker 1: hours later, after I left, my boyfriend calls me and

1499
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:49,519
Speaker 1: I pick up and he is sobbing. Notice he does

1500
01:14:49,680 --> 01:14:51,759
Speaker 1: not have read it and he does not speak English,

1501
01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:54,000
Speaker 1: so he did not know about the posts, and I

1502
01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:56,439
Speaker 1: had not talked about my feelings with him yet. So

1503
01:14:56,600 --> 01:14:59,599
Speaker 1: he calls me absolutely pooring saying he was going home

1504
01:14:59,720 --> 01:15:01,240
Speaker 1: and he he has had the best day of his

1505
01:15:01,360 --> 01:15:03,280
Speaker 1: life and he loves me so much for doing this

1506
01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:05,840
Speaker 1: for him. And he spends the next fifteen minutes talking

1507
01:15:05,920 --> 01:15:09,200
Speaker 1: between sobs about all the effort I put into the

1508
01:15:09,280 --> 01:15:12,120
Speaker 1: birthday celebration and thanking me for every single one of

1509
01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:12,920
Speaker 1: those things I did.

1510
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,400
Speaker 3: Oh, they're so sweet.

1511
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:17,400
Speaker 1: You mentioned the cake slice and said that. He said

1512
01:15:17,439 --> 01:15:19,960
Speaker 1: to me that throughout his entire life, because he has

1513
01:15:20,080 --> 01:15:22,840
Speaker 1: had birthdays in his mom's house, he had never given

1514
01:15:22,960 --> 01:15:25,439
Speaker 1: a first slice to his best friend who went through

1515
01:15:25,520 --> 01:15:29,120
Speaker 1: all that with him, and that me being empathetic enough

1516
01:15:29,240 --> 01:15:32,920
Speaker 1: not to let him do this was honestly one of

1517
01:15:32,960 --> 01:15:34,920
Speaker 1: the most special things I had ever done for him.

1518
01:15:35,080 --> 01:15:37,320
Speaker 3: This is so sweet. I'm glad that Ophe didn't say

1519
01:15:37,320 --> 01:15:38,280
Speaker 3: anything me too.

1520
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:41,320
Speaker 1: He told me she had begun going through some very

1521
01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:45,360
Speaker 1: important stuff and he was not around ever because of

1522
01:15:45,479 --> 01:15:49,080
Speaker 1: work in college, and she was feeling very left behind

1523
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:51,840
Speaker 1: because of this. Which is a huge thing since they're

1524
01:15:51,920 --> 01:15:54,920
Speaker 1: basically brother and sister. So the cake made her cry

1525
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:57,439
Speaker 1: so much. It was the first time he had ever

1526
01:15:57,600 --> 01:16:00,240
Speaker 1: done this, and she finally felt like he had not

1527
01:16:00,479 --> 01:16:03,040
Speaker 1: forgotten about her. Oh that's super set.

1528
01:16:03,120 --> 01:16:05,559
Speaker 3: This is so sweet. This is really sweet.

1529
01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:07,880
Speaker 1: Is this a nice one you picked home? Yeah? Okay,

1530
01:16:09,560 --> 01:16:13,120
Speaker 1: I wasn't too sure. Oh this is so weird, really sweet.

1531
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:16,360
Speaker 1: And then because I made that much effort for him,

1532
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:19,080
Speaker 1: he asked me to rest. He told me that his

1533
01:16:19,360 --> 01:16:22,479
Speaker 1: next week was going to be entirely for him show

1534
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:26,559
Speaker 1: me appreciation. He asked me to go please for once,

1535
01:16:26,720 --> 01:16:29,599
Speaker 1: not to sav jarge him showing me love and pampering

1536
01:16:29,680 --> 01:16:32,439
Speaker 1: me because I feel like I don't deserve it. Because

1537
01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:35,400
Speaker 1: he was going to take his savings to take me

1538
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:39,800
Speaker 1: out and spend the week giving me celebrations. Oh my gosh,

1539
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:42,920
Speaker 1: I know him well enough to be to accept some

1540
01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:45,840
Speaker 1: love notes him showing up to surprise me at my place,

1541
01:16:45,920 --> 01:16:49,240
Speaker 1: maybe even a song written for me. He also invited

1542
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:51,560
Speaker 1: me to spend the weekend at his place, just the

1543
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:53,559
Speaker 1: two of us. He lives with his family and they

1544
01:16:53,800 --> 01:16:56,000
Speaker 1: all are going to the beach, leaving the house empty

1545
01:16:56,160 --> 01:16:58,360
Speaker 1: so he can cook me dinner and give me one

1546
01:16:58,760 --> 01:17:02,120
Speaker 1: of his one hour full body massages. They are my favorites.

1547
01:17:02,320 --> 01:17:08,840
Speaker 3: What an incredibly green flag that this man, preemptively without

1548
01:17:08,920 --> 01:17:12,479
Speaker 3: even her talking to him, knew that this might be

1549
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:14,680
Speaker 3: like something that she would care about, like oh, p

1550
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,519
Speaker 3: caring about who gets that first slice, and was like,

1551
01:17:17,640 --> 01:17:18,880
Speaker 3: you know what, I just want to let you know,

1552
01:17:19,040 --> 01:17:22,519
Speaker 3: I really appreciate that you were totally okay with you know,

1553
01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:24,639
Speaker 3: or let me give that piece to my best friend

1554
01:17:24,720 --> 01:17:28,560
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna spend the week after my birthday about you.

1555
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:33,280
Speaker 1: That's so sweet, Oh my goodness. Then after he said

1556
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:35,479
Speaker 1: all that, I took the opportunity to tell him how

1557
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:37,880
Speaker 1: I felt today. He listened quietly, and when I was finished,

1558
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:40,240
Speaker 1: he apologized, saying that he did not realize that was

1559
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:43,439
Speaker 1: how I felt and that was not his intention, and

1560
01:17:43,520 --> 01:17:45,519
Speaker 1: he just thought that it did not mean as much

1561
01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:47,559
Speaker 1: to me as it would omit for his best friend.

1562
01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:52,800
Speaker 3: This is I love it communication communication, hundred percent. Weedy

1563
01:17:52,800 --> 01:17:53,760
Speaker 3: baby little man.

1564
01:17:54,160 --> 01:17:57,040
Speaker 1: So he decided to honor her and that way then

1565
01:17:57,200 --> 01:18:00,720
Speaker 1: honor me differently with my princess week. But he told

1566
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:02,519
Speaker 1: me he understood how I feel and that he was

1567
01:18:02,600 --> 01:18:05,040
Speaker 1: sorry anyways. But We talked a bit more after, but

1568
01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:08,720
Speaker 1: we got over the stuff pretty quickly and it all

1569
01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:12,080
Speaker 1: ended with us gossiping about the day because gossip. Two

1570
01:18:12,120 --> 01:18:14,719
Speaker 1: of our friends of ours, who don't really get along

1571
01:18:14,920 --> 01:18:17,840
Speaker 1: very well, apparently went back home after half drunk after

1572
01:18:18,080 --> 01:18:21,960
Speaker 1: and I left m man. I love gossip. Well, if

1573
01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:24,439
Speaker 1: you love gossip, you should join us every weekday on

1574
01:18:24,560 --> 01:18:26,679
Speaker 1: YouTube at three PMPSD. Just tap our profile.

1575
01:18:26,720 --> 01:18:27,080
Speaker 3: That was great.

1576
01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:29,280
Speaker 1: That was a really given thank you, that worked really

1577
01:18:29,320 --> 01:18:31,960
Speaker 1: hard at that has felt it, just felt it, just

1578
01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:35,240
Speaker 1: had it. This is adorable. Thank you, Sophia. I know.

1579
01:18:35,880 --> 01:18:38,559
Speaker 1: Oh we saw have more well friends. I suppose that's

1580
01:18:38,560 --> 01:18:40,960
Speaker 1: my update. Maybe this is the day Reddit realizes that

1581
01:18:41,080 --> 01:18:43,880
Speaker 1: emotions are too complicated. Life is too which is why

1582
01:18:44,240 --> 01:18:47,799
Speaker 1: small moments do not define a relationship or someone's feelings.

1583
01:18:47,960 --> 01:18:51,000
Speaker 1: How we react to the situation and deal with it does.

1584
01:18:51,280 --> 01:18:53,880
Speaker 1: I love my boyfriend and he loves me a lot too,

1585
01:18:54,160 --> 01:18:57,000
Speaker 1: and that does not mean he does not have any

1586
01:18:57,320 --> 01:19:00,640
Speaker 1: fond family beyond me. That also does not I am

1587
01:19:00,680 --> 01:19:02,920
Speaker 1: not allowed to feel sad. I have the right to

1588
01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:05,679
Speaker 1: feel the way that I felt, and to be welcome

1589
01:19:05,800 --> 01:19:09,040
Speaker 1: in that feeling being validated. I will marry this man

1590
01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:13,880
Speaker 1: mark my words. That is very sweet. That is so

1591
01:19:14,800 --> 01:19:17,280
Speaker 1: super sweet. Green flags. All I see is green in

1592
01:19:17,280 --> 01:19:18,360
Speaker 1: the chaplets. Put some greens.

1593
01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,320
Speaker 3: Put them in the everyone gets the.

1594
01:19:22,080 --> 01:19:25,040
Speaker 1: Good story. Thank you, Sophie. I was gonna have to

1595
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:26,280
Speaker 1: like be sad for them.