1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: The Laundronots is a production of I Heart Radio. This 2 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: is what we remember and remember, this is what it 3 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:18,319 Speaker 1: sounded like. What we couldn't hear, we made up. The 4 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: rest of it is true or sometimes machine sometimes machine don't. 5 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: That's just the wrong place. Are you attempting to apply, 6 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: young lady, that you've never heard of the Laundronots? Is 7 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,199 Speaker 1: that what you're attempting to imply. I'm not attempting to 8 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: imply anything. I'm telling you I've never heard of that. 9 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: What about you, young man? Surely you've heard of the laundronouts. 10 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,520 Speaker 1: You're at least nine six or six. You're a veritable 11 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: redwood And no, sir, I've never heard of the laundronauts. 12 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: Sweet mother or mushal, it's a talasa to in your travesty. 13 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: What do you giggle? Girl? I think you're just making 14 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: it up. You have the audacity to challenge the voracity 15 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: of my audacity, and your captain do you corroborate your 16 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: compatriots consternation? I make the think so, sir? Where are 17 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: your parents? They went to the liquor store to play 18 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: the scratchers? Ohice? Then we wait and when they return 19 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: they should be reprimanded within an inch of their lives 20 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: for their dereliction of parental duty in this matter. Surely 21 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: they must know the time is of the utmost essence 22 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 1: when it comes to the laundronnots. What do you mean 23 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: when you turned well? Old memory of the Laundronots goes 24 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: into hibernation so as to protect it from the approaching 25 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: atrocities of adolescence. And hold, are you your lady five 26 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: eight and a half you're the size of a garden. No, 27 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: I know, eight and a half years of fertile ground 28 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: until you've done fallow child? Do you follow? Excuse me, sir? 29 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: What then goes into nat turned twelve? How could our 30 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: pants possibly remember to tell us about the londronots where 31 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: you're just a regular encyclopedia brow Not no, sir, Because 32 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: when those probably prep progeny become parents and incantatory bio 33 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 1: alchemical reaction occurs in their brains, and those londern art 34 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: memories come back like a stampede of glubby rumblers filled 35 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 1: with one singular purpose, and one singular purpose alone. What 36 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: purpose would that be, sir, to impart the story of 37 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: the London knots upon their children? Yes, my dear dads, 38 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,240 Speaker 1: to your question, I am a laundrono. I am, in 39 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: fact the last of the laundro roots. What happened to be? Sir? 40 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: Of course I could. I'm the only one who could now, 41 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: But all the rest are gone very well. In prepare yourselves, timblings, 42 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 1: to pay yourselves for the wonder, Prepare yourselves for the weird, 43 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 1: To bear yourselves for everything you have ever ever here 44 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: the pair a ruptured, Prepare to be flopped. Prepare yourselves 45 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: for the landers. On Saturday, April two nine, at seven 46 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: thirty p m. In the knob Hill wash It Turium, 47 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: one of the very first wash it turiums in the 48 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: history of washer turium. At the corner of Taylor Geary Boulevards, 49 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 1: San Francisco, California, USA, Earth, Johnica, the Fleet, Perry Hennigan, 50 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: Bigolas Course, Ramona Rais, Benjamin Kingman and I so Charlie, everything, stuff, 51 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 1: j D. Belzel into the jumbletn washer, close the door, 52 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: turn it on and run away. None of us intervened. 53 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:25,679 Speaker 1: We were mostly just afraid. Nick's parents on the place. 54 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: Benny's dad was fixing of the plumbing in the basement. 55 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: Perry's parents were in the office above, handling some affairs. 56 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: The rest of our parents had let us attend to 57 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: the tumbling clothes while they smoked and drank and gambled 58 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: at the corner liquor store. Seconds after Charlie evans round 59 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,359 Speaker 1: the back door, Mr Kingman appeared from the basement looking 60 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 1: for his son Benny shriek and jump, which caused the 61 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,680 Speaker 1: rest of us to shriek and jump, which caused everyone 62 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 1: else to rush in from every entrance, skyway, by way, 63 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: and coral space. Mr Bellzel clipped off the radio and 64 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: turned to us, peering through coke bottle glasses, asking through 65 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: clenched grinding teeth, where have you hidden? My son j 66 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: D Had been hidden many times before, you see, and 67 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 1: not just by Charlie Heavens. Nick pointed a trembling finger 68 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:27,359 Speaker 1: as a still rumbling jumper frog. Mr belle Zel's face 69 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: went from red to blue to a lovely purple hue 70 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: rarely found in nature. He flung open the machine and 71 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: dove inside. Sumphy water sloshed out as he began searching frantically, 72 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 1: his stumpy legs kicking in the air. His curses muffled. 73 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 1: It was as if a giant metal frog was eating him. 74 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 1: He was finally burped back out and spun to us, dripping, 75 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 1: red faced and huffing. Where is j D? Mona strove 76 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: forward peered inside the still steaming washer. Her face turned 77 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: as I moved her aside. Nothing but bubble water, j D. 78 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: The others showed me as high. Their reactions were uniforms shock, 79 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: and someone blurted out just kidding. Telly Evans gave j 80 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: D a royal snuggy, and then they ran off down 81 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: the street. I might have been the one who blurted 82 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 1: that out. You all know j D has that condition, 83 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 1: and we did so. We were dragged to our respective 84 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 1: homes and thrashed and grounded and told to pray for 85 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 1: j D's soul in our own to boot. J D's 86 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 1: picture was in the paper the next day, Local Boy Missing. 87 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 1: It was the same photo they used in Saint Xavier's 88 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: elementary year book for the last three years, the one 89 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 1: with his stupid taped up by glasses. It made me, said, 90 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: it made Benny man. I want a piece of Charlie Ins, 91 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: a big old chunk of something that can chew on 92 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: and grad. We need to figure out a plan first. 93 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: Mona kept us hold in line, relax and focus. Oh, 94 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: I'm focused. I'm already working on an algorithm of revenge. 95 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: Her in sideways, Benny, I want to warm my hands 96 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: in the steam coming out of your ears. Nick. Sorry, 97 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 1: we'll pack me in a suitcase and ship me the 98 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: Kalamazoo because kiss meant ain't nothing but a state of mind. Folks, Hush, Harry. 99 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 1: We really could decipher what Perry was saying, but it 100 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: usually made us laugh, So we find it. Don't you 101 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 1: first have to have a mind, Perry, Oh, most of did. 102 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: He's still hoping. Santa is going to bring you a 103 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: personality for Christmas. Nick Assess the guy with no middle name. 104 00:07:56,520 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 1: My parents couldn't afford one, se Nick and suffered from 105 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: an interminable case of short eight old guy syndrome. Both 106 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: symbiotic and parasitic in nature, The relationship created ample opportunity 107 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: for slide insults, and heartfelt camaraderie. Jonica, you got Charlie. 108 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: Jonica's ultrashiness made her almost invisible at times, which gave 109 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: her the most humor like of shadowing skills. She quickly 110 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 1: sussed that Charlie had been interviewed by the police and 111 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 1: released due to lack of evidence. He was soon back 112 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: on the prowl at Saint X, incessantly lurking and lingering 113 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: nearby in the shadows. We agreed to meet back at 114 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 1: the knob Hill was a trium that Sunday night. It 115 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 1: would be Easter and our parents would be unconscious by sunset. 116 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 1: It would be the perfect evening to try and raise J. D. 117 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: Belzel from the dead. But before we do that, children, 118 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: before we venture any deeper into this dark and decidedly 119 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: deceptive diagrama, the two of you, young simbles, must first 120 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 1: be fully oath for your protection. At yes, fully, that 121 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:24,319 Speaker 1: sounds painful. The oath you're about to take not only 122 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:29,400 Speaker 1: bind you forever to every duly oath stitchy before you. 123 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: It also lodges an incantatory bioelchemical suggestion into your head 124 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: that will sink and slumber deep in the warm recesses 125 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,559 Speaker 1: of your brain wrinkles until your twelfth birthday, when the 126 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: oath shall reawaken as a great and ravenous wabbly gobbler. Ready, ah, 127 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: you must say it word for word, breath for breath, 128 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: note for an out, as I say it, now begotten 129 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: or grotten, so forgotten to be sotten. Cotton has gotten russell. 130 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: Now you begotten modern cotton has sotgotten the bees forgotten 131 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: cotton rotten. That was horrible. An incantation is as much 132 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:31,079 Speaker 1: about melody as it is about magic. Now listen, I 133 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: begotten or brotten, so forgotten that the sotten cotton has 134 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 1: gotten rotten, grottenotten, and cotton has gotten rotten, marginally less mangled, 135 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: scarcely sufficient and reluctantly ratified. Come this day forward, you're 136 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: both stitchlings. This is a great rivileged children. Stitchlings are 137 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: allowed to a door and revere laundering out Premiere and 138 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 1: of her, while also tending to more menial concerns. Whatever 139 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 1: called upon, will we ever get to bed, sir? Everything 140 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 1: onward resembled that easter, even the dark alley behind the washerturium. 141 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: Perry took one look at the locked back door, announced, 142 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: I'll be right back, Perry, but he was already shimming 143 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: up the drainpipe, Titros being the ledge, unlatching the window 144 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: and leaping inside. In an almost cartoonishly short amount of time, 145 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: the door swung open, revealing our intrepid explorer, grinning ear 146 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: to ear basket gat no da Gama on me. My 147 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 1: parents owned the place, you idiot. I have a key. Well, 148 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: now we have a plan. D We gathered the JumboTron 149 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: three times the size of the other machines. When it moved, 150 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: the ground shook, her roughtest groaned, and somehow it had 151 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: coupled up J D bell Zo. So we stared at 152 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:20,599 Speaker 1: it and waited for it to reveal its secrets. It didn't. 153 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:25,199 Speaker 1: I'll go in there any further discussion, Perry Clambert inside 154 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 1: the machine. Anyone tries to close that door, I will 155 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 1: chew off your fingers and hang them from my ear lobes. 156 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:37,199 Speaker 1: Got it, Got it. It's like what a spaceship might 157 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:40,199 Speaker 1: look like, you know, on the inside, something you can 158 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: put someone in. And she cast the sun. I can't 159 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 1: really find the back of this thing. Is that a 160 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:56,560 Speaker 1: cold wind coming from? Harry scambled out. He was drenched 161 00:12:56,559 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: in sweat. Okay, Perry very late on the floor and 162 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: waved his hand weakly. And we need to recreate the scene. 163 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:13,439 Speaker 1: I'll go You're far too valuable, Benny valuable. We all nodded, 164 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,559 Speaker 1: knowing that Mona really meant Benny was far too large 165 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: and would never fit through the door. Then Mona raised 166 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:26,439 Speaker 1: your hand. I'll go. No one was surprised. Everyone was shocked, 167 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:31,319 Speaker 1: almost as shocked as Nick. He never volunteered, neither for work, 168 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: not playing. Yet here he was wagging his arm and 169 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 1: here as if he had been de boned. Fine, Nick, 170 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,680 Speaker 1: and I will go. Mona had clearly asserted himself there 171 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: as our leader. The choice was hard to argue with 172 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,439 Speaker 1: as a Mona. Here's the plan. I synchronized my lucky 173 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,400 Speaker 1: pocket watch with Perry's like he stopped watch. Nick and 174 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: I go in and the machine gets turned on for 175 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:57,079 Speaker 1: exactly one minute, then turned off. You open the machine. 176 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 1: If Nick and I are still inside, we go home 177 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: for j. D. Belzel and take revenge on Charlie Evans. 178 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: If Nick and I are not inside, you wait fifteen 179 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: more minutes for a signal from us. If no signal comes, 180 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 1: you go to the police and tell them everything and 181 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: take revenge on Charlie Evans. When you get out of 182 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: the looney bits. Got it? Got it? Jonica cracked open 183 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 1: the knaps, actually the lugging around it was full of brands, 184 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: spanking new scuba gear. What's your flippers? Snorkles? It's been 185 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 1: a garage for years something about my uncle Archie and 186 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,800 Speaker 1: the boxes falling off the truck. Uncle Archie got gunned 187 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: down here to work a month ago, so I figure 188 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 1: it's not going to be any trouble. Will was a 189 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 1: little reluctant to offer Jonica our condolences for the many 190 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: deaths in her family. There was just so many. Nick 191 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: went in the machine first. We could hear his rubbery 192 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 1: knees knocking together as he slithered inside. Mona took a 193 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 1: little longer than follow She finally joined Mick and they 194 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: squeezed together awkward. They gave us the thumbs up and 195 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: slipped on their snorkel masks. I closed the door. I 196 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 1: noticed Nick scoop close with the Mona. When Benny turned 197 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: on the jumbo tongue, the machine leapt to life with 198 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 1: a shutter of thump and a long painful road until 199 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: I saw Mona clutch Nick's arm, but it was hard 200 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,000 Speaker 1: to tell through the foggy glass. Then they were lost 201 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: in the phone. It was a flash from inside the mache. 202 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,240 Speaker 1: It was so bright we allentary blinding, which is the 203 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 1: same nomber. Two policemen decided to storm inside, flashlights blazing, 204 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: guns thrown the short of the two screaming, great, this 205 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: is the police. If you move, you will get snot. 206 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,560 Speaker 1: None of us moved, but the taller officer glanced at 207 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 1: his pocket. You'll get snot two said snot. You know 208 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: what I mean. They don't. The second flash from the machine, 209 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 1: I shouted, and we did. It was like being melted 210 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: to some sort of broth, said Nick later, upon his return, 211 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: squeezed through to then breathe back to folk fleshing life. 212 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: Mona only remembered the tug, the first terrifying tug, not 213 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 1: being able to stop it. They both agreed on the landing, 214 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 1: like like being dropped into the fairy tale socks socks, socks, socks, 215 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: mountains and valleys and rivers and lakes and forests of 216 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: socks socks falling from the sky, falling along with Nick 217 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 1: and Mona from an invisible key hole in the sky 218 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 1: down through the open mouth at the top of a 219 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 1: granite mountain into a swirling, whirling, tumbling whirlpool of socks 220 00:16:55,400 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 1: upon socks upon socks. As they plummeted, they could see 221 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 1: a vein like staircase chizzled into the inside walls of 222 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 1: the mountains, winding its way back to the top, getting 223 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: Monas by daylight through an approaching crevice. Sucks was filling 224 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: out of it like a wound swim. Towards that morning, 225 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: Nick caught the lip of the crevice as he rushed 226 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,639 Speaker 1: by it and caught Mona. They pulled themselves through and 227 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 1: tumbled out under the slope outside, Sucks continued to gush 228 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 1: out of the crevice, streaming down the mountain side like 229 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:40,120 Speaker 1: an endless, rigulative hosiery acculent. What was that? I don't know. 230 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: We have to keep moving the minutes, they drew off 231 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,160 Speaker 1: their masks and flippers and wetsuits and stuffed them into 232 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: their backpacks. They scrambled and tumbled down the circular to 233 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,880 Speaker 1: more level ground, where they paused again to refill their 234 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 1: aching lung. Looking back up the slope, they could see 235 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,920 Speaker 1: that the crevice was just one of hundreds of openings 236 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 1: in the side of the mountain, a succulent flowing from each. 237 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:11,600 Speaker 1: Across an expensive rainbow striped plane, they could see the 238 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: edge of an ominous forest looming. Mona dash to up 239 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: cups of bushes surrounding a tall flowering tree. Nike did 240 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: his best to keep up, but Mona was almost flying 241 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 1: the ground is like a trampoline, Nick, do you feel it? Yea? 242 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:37,640 Speaker 1: And the light from the sky. They reached the cops 243 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:42,200 Speaker 1: and pulled up short. At what they saw. Queens growing 244 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:47,200 Speaker 1: from that tree. Look at this bush, Nick, as Mona 245 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,399 Speaker 1: plucked an earring and treaded on. Nick. Nelton ran his 246 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 1: fingers through the earth. Up close, he could see the 247 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:58,440 Speaker 1: soil consisted of pieces of things compressed together, pieces of 248 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:05,439 Speaker 1: key spoon coin that sucks. Give me your lucky panic, 249 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 1: what your lucky pen? Give it to me. Why I'm 250 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,240 Speaker 1: going to do an experiment, Well, the experiment with something else. 251 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,440 Speaker 1: This is my brother Bobby's pen, Mona. You know that 252 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: he gave it to me the day he fell off 253 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: the Golden Cake. Mona gazed into Nick's blue eyes. She 254 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: bettered her baby browns twice. Your lucky pen has your 255 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,840 Speaker 1: big brother Bobby's inscription on it, Nick, just like my 256 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 1: lucky pocket watch has from my auntie a Bonita. So 257 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 1: we won't lose them. Okay, okay. Mag came to the 258 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,639 Speaker 1: wishes of Queen Ramona of Butcher Town. Sir Nicholas, the 259 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:48,440 Speaker 1: jelly spined rarely stood a chance. Mona took his pen 260 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,400 Speaker 1: and immediately buried it in the dirt. Are you out 261 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 1: of your Mona quieted him with a finger and buried 262 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 1: her pocket watching next to his pen. Nick was about 263 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 1: to protest again when the pen and pocket watch had 264 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:08,399 Speaker 1: grown into two full blown bushes. Bushes blossoming with tiny 265 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: identical pens and pocket watches. Mona pluck the pen. Nick 266 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: plucked a watch. The pen was fat and orange like 267 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: a carrot. It has your inscription, Nick, and I think 268 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,159 Speaker 1: it has a pulse. The pocket watch was incandescent in 269 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:29,399 Speaker 1: Nick's hand, A lavender mist clung to its plum colored skin. 270 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:33,120 Speaker 1: I think this watch is purring. Mona squeezed the pen, 271 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,960 Speaker 1: and orange ink sprayed into the air like a fountain. 272 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 1: The liquid danced and pool on the ground. And excuse me, 273 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 1: what what is it? Can't you see? I'm imparting a story? 274 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: What happened to the pencer? The pain wet pin, the 275 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,440 Speaker 1: one that grew from the ground in stock lancer to 276 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,880 Speaker 1: carrot with a pulse? Oh yes, what about it? I'm 277 00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 1: a collective antique pencer and aspiring scrivener. That's very sad. 278 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 1: What happened to it? Sir? It died? Died after many 279 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 1: years of loyal service had finally expired, as we all do, 280 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 1: but not before it transcribed all of the written Lawndorn articles. 281 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 1: A life well written? Yes, especially what pen? A wonderful 282 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: life for a pensure? How does the pen die? Heroically? Onward? 283 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:32,199 Speaker 1: Nick and Mona each booked an extra pen and watched 284 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:36,479 Speaker 1: and began spraying ink everywhere, And as the ink sank 285 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: back into the ground, sprouting even more bushes and pins 286 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: and watchers. The children's hands brushed together, electricity shot through them. 287 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:52,919 Speaker 1: They pulled away. Did you feel that? Yes? I wonder 288 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:58,240 Speaker 1: what would happen if we buried ourselves together? Mona held 289 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:02,920 Speaker 1: out her hand, Nick took it. This time the electricity 290 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 1: wasn't quite so shocking. It was, as a matter of fact, 291 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: quite tolerable. The electricity flowed into their toes, into the ground. 292 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 1: Beneath their toes, the ground began to shake, began to 293 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: rock row. Music wafted down like snow, and a voice 294 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: rose up to it, like a new field of cotton. 295 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: It's sometimes ritten before gotten, but getting low, it's just 296 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:48,920 Speaker 1: frost lay the land. Then you know exactly our then, 297 00:22:49,080 --> 00:23:08,959 Speaker 1: yes too, will never before gone the soil in which 298 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 1: shijoil he is a very lil foil. Where are for forgetting? 299 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 1: Is for gotten? I fess forgotten more for can we 300 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:51,640 Speaker 1: somebod to surgers? Bad can be like will do again? 301 00:23:53,320 --> 00:24:02,879 Speaker 1: Like got beguiling to be guid Let it travel like 302 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:15,960 Speaker 1: a devil God. They pulled away. What was that sount? 303 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,200 Speaker 1: What was that song? I don't know? We have to go, Nick, 304 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 1: Look at your watch, both of their newly plucked, plumb 305 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 1: like time pieces. We're still taking away real world seconds, 306 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: still synchronized to Perry's lucky stop watch in San Francisco. 307 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 1: We've only been here ten minutes. It feels like it's 308 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: been a week. They sprinted up the slope, dodging the 309 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 1: socks tumbling down at them. Just as they reached the 310 00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 1: opening in the mountain, something very large and very angry 311 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,439 Speaker 1: crashed through the ominous forests below. It was like the 312 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:58,439 Speaker 1: trees now down and bowed. What does that go? Monar 313 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 1: shoved him through the gut in socks, stole a glance back. 314 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: A tsunami of shadow was oozing across the rainbow striped play. 315 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 1: The wave rose higher and spread wider. As they group 316 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,960 Speaker 1: closer to the mountain. Something shimmered above the ooze the 317 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:22,720 Speaker 1: glowing globe, leading the wave of shadow like a disembodied head. 318 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:27,120 Speaker 1: Monitor herself from the horrific site and followed Nick into 319 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:32,160 Speaker 1: the tumbling white water down At the time they managed 320 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,880 Speaker 1: to Koreen through the sock currents, climb up the spiral staircase, 321 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: and clamber out onto the lip of the mountain. Their 322 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 1: lungs were burning and muscles were screaming. The black shadow 323 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,199 Speaker 1: was oozing up the side of the mountain, and the 324 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:52,040 Speaker 1: socks continued to cascade on them from the invisible keyhole, 325 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:56,240 Speaker 1: now just thirty feet above them. How are we supposed 326 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 1: to reach that? I don't know? How are we supposed 327 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,679 Speaker 1: to signal that I don't What are we going to do? Mona? 328 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,640 Speaker 1: Stop asking questions I can't answer, Nick? And then it 329 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 1: came to her, still that pen you plugged? Yes in 330 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: the jacket? Why? Mona slipped out. She coiled into a 331 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,280 Speaker 1: picture's wind up and fired it straight up into the air. 332 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 1: The ven rose hung for a moment, then was inhaled 333 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:24,879 Speaker 1: into the keyholes invisible mall, vanishing with a flash of 334 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:33,120 Speaker 1: thunderous Now hold onto my hand, Nick, Okay. The wave 335 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: of duttness was upon the low high of the highn 336 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 1: of the mountain. It wasn't a singular thing at all, 337 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: but tens of thousands of black socks moving as one, 338 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,680 Speaker 1: a giant hand of shadow opening, What do we do right? 339 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 1: Closing like a fist. Nick and Mona tried to pull free, 340 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:59,160 Speaker 1: tried to scream sucks, and gotten the light twinkling they 341 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:03,399 Speaker 1: had left. Saw the glowing globe hovering above them. Man 342 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 1: was lying face down inside, watching them for the transparent 343 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 1: floor with an elderly man with thick silver whiskers and 344 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:19,359 Speaker 1: long gray hair. He was wearing glasses, glasses the stupid 345 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:23,679 Speaker 1: tape on the frame. His asthmatic laughter grew to a 346 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: rackling roar, pressing Nick and Monna together in an embrace. 347 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 1: It's gonna be your head. Nick wasn't, so he kissed her, 348 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:40,240 Speaker 1: and the doctors swallowed them a whole when a bullet 349 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 1: of light split over the black hand, flatching onto the 350 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: pen and Nick's jackets tugging the children out of the doctors, 351 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:53,200 Speaker 1: past the dropping sock, past the glowing globe, past the 352 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:57,199 Speaker 1: now no longer laughing man, wiving them up into the 353 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: keyhole in the sky, back at the washer turiot. We've 354 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:08,199 Speaker 1: been playing, I didn't. Secret officers tweedledumb and tweeddled. I 355 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,320 Speaker 1: managed to say hidden long enough to see another flash 356 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 1: inside the jumped I leaped up and opened the door. 357 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: An orange pan was floating inside. I grabbed it, and 358 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,920 Speaker 1: as I did, orange ink straight out of the pin 359 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,879 Speaker 1: into the bubble water. The liquid coagulated into a jelly 360 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:30,840 Speaker 1: like substance. It began to bubble and hiss shake. I 361 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 1: saw the cold wind rushing at it by the jumbo 362 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: free I obeyed, leaving the door open. Turned. I obeyed 363 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 1: and saw that the others had been corralled near the 364 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 1: front door by the taller office. What is that in 365 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 1: your hand? I felt the heat of another flash on 366 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 1: the back of my neck. I ducked. Nick and Mona 367 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 1: shot out of the machine like two silvery kind and 368 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 1: slammed the two, sending them flying in every conceivable director 369 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,440 Speaker 1: ron I shouted and pushed the dazed Mona out the door. 370 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 1: The others littered. Nick and were right behind me. We 371 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,480 Speaker 1: ran as hard as we could up Giary Boulevard until 372 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:21,480 Speaker 1: Perry ducked into an alley. We followed, gasping for breath. 373 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 1: I happened to Nicky Mona, were you okay, sir. They 374 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 1: were different, taller, their voices were deeper. They walked with 375 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 1: a new confidence. It was as if they had skipped 376 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 1: a year or left one behind. Apparently the same had 377 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: happened to j D by a hundredfol After Nick and 378 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:50,960 Speaker 1: Mona recounted their adventure, the group's sentiment became immediately clear. 379 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 1: No one wanted to go back. Then someone blurted out, well, 380 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,840 Speaker 1: what if you had been shoved into that machine? I 381 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 1: looked around with the source of the outburst. Everyone was 382 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 1: staring at me, so I continued, are you? Are you 383 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 1: or me? Charlie Evans? Is a cupboard here and so 384 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: are we? We had the chance to do something when 385 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 1: it mattered, and we failed. Now we need to make 386 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,000 Speaker 1: it right. I say we form an allegiance bent on 387 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: one mission. Fine j D. Belzell read for its forgiveness 388 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:31,960 Speaker 1: and bring him back home safely. Who's with me? To 389 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 1: my amazement, everyone cheered and shook their fists in the air. 390 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,600 Speaker 1: I shouted to the land abouts and they shouted back 391 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 1: as if it had always been our name. Man must 392 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,800 Speaker 1: say that? Must I am not paid to sit on 393 00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 1: d Milliam Morcer? Yes, please row to return children on 394 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:23,680 Speaker 1: your honor as new Leo Stitchings, we go that his 395 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 1: fattest pen have ever seen. It is rather plumped well 396 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 1: be scarried pregnancy ym oh. It has a nice inscription 397 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 1: on back. Fancy Let's that say, never be afraid to soar, 398 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: Little bird Love Bobby Family Heirloom. You could say that 399 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 1: The Laundronouts are potentially untrue tale based on actual events. Conceived, 400 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 1: written and directed by Owen mackenzie Mitchell, original music, sound 401 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 1: design and editing by Dave McKeever. Produced by Monica Michless 402 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 1: and Dave McKeever. Script supervision and editorial assistance by Christina Bryan. 403 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: Casting by Mary Claire Sweeters. Executive producers John Cameron, Mitchell, 404 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 1: ed Asner and Colin Mackenzie Mitchell, starring in order of appearance, 405 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 1: Isaac Robinson Smith as the Man, Mr. Kingman and Officer Ousterhaus, 406 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 1: Alison Fraser as the woman, and Madame Russia ed Asner 407 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: as the narrator, Evan Toke as the sister, Max Mitchell 408 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:45,720 Speaker 1: as the brother, London Johnson as Benny Lilly, Resto as 409 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:51,480 Speaker 1: Mona Near von Paul as Nick, Trevor Bernardino as Perry, 410 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 1: Trent Mills as Mr Bill Zell and Officer Owsley Blue 411 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:03,560 Speaker 1: bell Sara Sino as Anica, John Cameron Mitchell as Absentia. 412 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,560 Speaker 1: The Laundronts is a collaboration between I Heart Media and 413 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 1: Little Brother Sam Productions. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, 414 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 415 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. The Laundronauts is a production of 416 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,080 Speaker 1: I heart Radio.