Speaker 1: All right, we're going to take you on a wild
Speaker 1: ride today. Oh yeah, that is just all there is
Speaker 1: to say about it.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Second Date podcast, and today is something
Speaker 2: you've never heard before. If this is the only podcast
Speaker 2: you listen to. Two of ours this is Brook and
Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the Morning, of course.
Speaker 1: But it's called the Loser Line.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, and we do it once a week on
Speaker 2: our main feed, Brook and Jeffrey. We've been giving out
Speaker 2: a fake phone number to our listeners for literally over
Speaker 2: a decade. And once you have the Loser Line phone number,
Speaker 2: which is actually even gone viral on Reddit. Do you
Speaker 2: remember when that happened to ruined it?
Speaker 1: It doesn't go.
Speaker 2: It goes straight to our voicemail here at the station,
Speaker 2: and then we get to play the weird, creepy messages
Speaker 2: that people leave. Yea, So this is a compilation of
Speaker 2: the best of the year. Yes, I think we're all
Speaker 2: on the same page now hopefully.
Speaker 1: And if you guys don't get it, you will once
Speaker 1: you hear it. Yeah, okay, thanks very shortly.
Speaker 2: Let us know what you think, of course in the comments.
Speaker 2: Your top ten loser lines of twenty twenty five, Starting
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 3: It's almost the end of the year before we can
Speaker 3: put some flowers on this thing and lower it down
Speaker 3: into the ground forever. There is one all important tradition
Speaker 3: that we have to do on this show. Right You
Speaker 3: can't see us right now, but all the boys are
Speaker 3: dressed in our fancy tuxedos, I was wondering, and the
Speaker 3: women are in floor length ball gowns that will turn
Speaker 3: back into moo moos at the stroke of twelve.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Brook's got like a fourteen cigarette. Yes, she always does.
Speaker 3: Because we're celebrating the best Loser line voicemails of the
Speaker 3: past year. We've come through them all, selected our top
Speaker 3: ten favorite ones. We're gonna play them for you next,
Speaker 3: it's Broken Jeffrey in the Morning, And wow, can you
Speaker 3: believe almost an entire year has gone by and not
Speaker 3: really too much exciting has happened. I mean, TikTok was
Speaker 3: shut down and then relaunched, and then shut down and
Speaker 3: then relaunched again.
Speaker 1: That feels like a life time ago.
Speaker 3: Just this year, Katie Perry went to space and then
Speaker 3: cried when she was forced to come back to Earth.
Speaker 1: Everyone else cried when she came back.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a.
Speaker 3: Sad moment and of course Coldplay concerts became the number
Speaker 3: one hot spot for extra marital affairs.
Speaker 4: Other than that, though pretty average year.
Speaker 3: Maybe the craziest thing, though, is that we are still
Speaker 3: on the air.
Speaker 4: How did that happen?
Speaker 1: Let's do it?
Speaker 3: I mean, we have to give some credit to the
Speaker 3: people who truly deserve it, the randos who called the
Speaker 3: Loser Line and left some of the craziest, cringiest, most
Speaker 3: absurd messages that we've ever received, not just from desperate dudes,
Speaker 3: but the ladies too. And this was tough because I
Speaker 3: spent a good couple hours yesterday with producer Boy just
Speaker 3: combing through all of our audio to create the top
Speaker 3: ten list of the best Loser Line messages of the year.
Speaker 4: So we got to get to it. Let's listen to
Speaker 4: number two.
Speaker 5: Mark small Food.
Speaker 6: Hey Brooklyn, Uh sorry, don't mind the water sounds. I'm
Speaker 6: just in the shower right.
Speaker 7: Now, getting ready for work.
Speaker 5: Got a lot going on.
Speaker 6: But tried this a few months ago where lately I've
Speaker 6: been trying to multitask, you know, call people while I'm
Speaker 6: tackling other chores, and you just happen to fall on
Speaker 6: shower time.
Speaker 5: So lucky you.
Speaker 7: But yeah, anyway, just.
Speaker 6: Kind of a life pack doing multiple things at the
Speaker 6: same time.
Speaker 8: Like did you know you can.
Speaker 6: Buy one of those wireless USB toasters where you can
Speaker 6: actually post in your car. That's cool, right, I'm trying
Speaker 6: to get a hot plate that.
Speaker 9: I can rest on my glove compartment to make cakes too.
Speaker 6: So I could knock got the whole breakfast me on
Speaker 6: my commute, But I should probably go. The water's getting
Speaker 6: cold right now.
Speaker 8: Text you around lunch by Marna.
Speaker 3: This is why I keep saying they should install showers
Speaker 3: in this room. Yeah, so that Brooks can't avoid them
Speaker 3: anymore and we can still do our jobs while getting
Speaker 3: clean at the same time.
Speaker 2: I'm just glad that he combined his toaster with his
Speaker 2: car and not with a shower. Yeah.
Speaker 8: I know.
Speaker 1: You got to be careful when you're multitasking. It could
Speaker 1: turn deadly.
Speaker 3: There's a way broke, trust me. If anybody will find it,
Speaker 3: this guy will. Now we're on to the number nine
Speaker 3: loser line message of the past year.
Speaker 4: Let's hear it.
Speaker 10: All right, stop, Look, I got a confession. Want to
Speaker 10: take you out? Yeah, that's my obsession plan the chill
Speaker 10: not crazy dinner in the movie You're feeling lazy?
Speaker 11: Will it be fun?
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, you bet?
Speaker 10: Popcorn and last till I go in the debt Frondie Bob,
Speaker 10: but I'm shooting my shot. Say yes, now, girl, let's
Speaker 10: see what we've.
Speaker 5: Got A ask baby, will you go wow? Will you
Speaker 5: go wow? Will you go? Please? Please date me?
Speaker 10: Trouble girl?
Speaker 5: Whoa yeah, so I am pretty wild as you will find.
Speaker 3: He The cringiest part of that whole message is brook
Speaker 3: dancing in your chair.
Speaker 2: I want to go back to the early two thousands
Speaker 2: where we're all leaving like funny voicemail like that.
Speaker 1: I bet his was epic.
Speaker 3: If you say so, we're gonna keep moving on. We're
Speaker 3: going to our number eight loser line message of the year.
Speaker 5: Next message.
Speaker 12: Hey, you may not remember me, but I'm my mom
Speaker 12: was the one hitting on you.
Speaker 13: The other night at the Sizzler.
Speaker 12: And look, I know this is probably weird, but I
Speaker 12: went into her phone and I got your number because
Speaker 12: I just need to tell you.
Speaker 9: Do not date her.
Speaker 12: Okay, I love my mom, She's great and all that
Speaker 12: good stuff, but I'm in the process of trying to
Speaker 12: hook her back up with my biological dad and I
Speaker 12: really just cannot have you getting in the way at
Speaker 12: this point, they do belong together, and like my dad says,
Speaker 12: he's confused actually or whatever, but I do not believe
Speaker 12: that's true at all. So, yeah, you seem really nice
Speaker 12: and all that good stuff, but I really just need
Speaker 12: you to back office message.
Speaker 1: I like that she's forcing it no matter what.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, take off that mesh tang top and go
Speaker 4: kiss mo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if you're just joining us. We have been
Speaker 3: counting down the top ten loser line voicemails that we
Speaker 3: received in the past calendar year. Already getting pretty weird
Speaker 3: with him. Let's see what we have in store. Ranked
Speaker 3: for number seven.
Speaker 5: Next message.
Speaker 11: Oh god, oh my god, God, and I just stelt
Speaker 11: tea on me. Got done it. Damn cheap ass coffee
Speaker 11: cups for my daughter in law. I know I shouldn't
Speaker 11: use the Oh my god, I got a zoom call
Speaker 11: with a client coming up in two minutes, So now
Speaker 11: I got to try to salvage my work pants.
Speaker 10: Oh hold on, stupid.
Speaker 11: Pants, forget it, it's just it's not working. I'm just
Speaker 11: gonna have to change pants.
Speaker 10: I'll call you later.
Speaker 9: I remember.
Speaker 3: It is funny to think though, that this whole thing,
Speaker 3: this whole segment started as we'll give our listeners this
Speaker 3: fake phone number and they can hand it out to
Speaker 3: anybody who's hitting on them. That's a little bit weird
Speaker 3: when they don't want to give their real number two.
Speaker 3: But now it's morphed into this whole new thing and
Speaker 3: people are giving it to their quirky coworkers, or they're
Speaker 3: strange an or if you hit a parked car. It's
Speaker 3: really come a long long way since we first started.
Speaker 1: It's impressive that people can give it to family members.
Speaker 4: Yes, and we don't discourage it either.
Speaker 1: No, No, I didn't say that.
Speaker 7: Jack.
Speaker 3: More content, the merrier, and let's keep moving on to
Speaker 3: find out what your number six loser line voice smell
Speaker 3: of the Year is.
Speaker 12: Hi.
Speaker 14: I'm the slight guy, you know, the guy that was
Speaker 14: the Pepperoni costume outside of Mars Pezzia Play. I don't
Speaker 14: usually give a lot of numbers this way, but that's okay.
Speaker 7: I wanted to.
Speaker 14: Take you out sometime, and I promise I won't spill
Speaker 14: any sauce on you unless you want me to. I
Speaker 14: h I feel like I should probably apologize when I
Speaker 14: shouted stay chievy. That was stupid, But listen I'm eighteen,
Speaker 14: by the way, so don't worry. Sometimes people can't help
Speaker 14: from the costume.
Speaker 11: But I'm legal.
Speaker 4: That doesn't turn you on. Where a guy shouts I'm legaliz,
Speaker 4: he's definitely like that was his first job, spinner.
Speaker 1: I think that was his first interaction with an adult.
Speaker 4: He's aiming high. Let's give him credit for that.
Speaker 3: And we've made it from number ten all the way
Speaker 3: to number six on our list. We still have the
Speaker 3: top five best Loser Line messages of the year. Who
Speaker 3: we will have the honor of being named the number
Speaker 3: one cringiest phone call we received, and it is an
Speaker 3: It is an honor we're gonna find out as we
Speaker 3: continue the countdown of the best loser Line calls of
Speaker 3: the year.
Speaker 4: We'll do it right after this. It's Brook and Jeffery
Speaker 4: in the morning.
Speaker 3: And if you're just joining us, we've been counting down
Speaker 3: the top ten loser line voicemails of the past year.
Speaker 3: It is and it wasn't easy to pick our favorites
Speaker 3: because there's just so many good ones to choose from
Speaker 3: and we can't play them all unfortunately.
Speaker 4: Ah, that would be crazy tho.
Speaker 1: If we're like a top thousand, Yeah, we're gonna be
Speaker 1: here for three days.
Speaker 4: Buckle in.
Speaker 3: But no, we've made it from number ten to number six.
Speaker 3: Heard some pretty weird ones already, like a guy bragging
Speaker 3: about multitasking while taking a shower at the same time,
Speaker 3: a woman who spilled some hot tea onto her pants
Speaker 3: and tried to vacuum it up.
Speaker 1: A lot of people taking their clothes off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like it, a lot of action, and a
Speaker 3: dude dressed as a pizza slice who swears he's legal
Speaker 3: never yeah, Universal, It's gonna be pretty hard to beat those,
Speaker 3: but we are going to try. Because let's move on,
Speaker 3: we're gonna get to your number five favorite loser line
Speaker 3: voicemail of the year.
Speaker 4: We call it the Corn Council Guy.
Speaker 9: Hi, my name is Ron Green.
Speaker 8: I was told to call this number at this time
Speaker 8: so I could give my audition to be the automated
Speaker 8: phone voice for the County Corn Council. Yes, I'll just
Speaker 8: give a quick sample, So thank you for calling the
Speaker 8: County Corn Council. Where Corn is our passion. To report
Speaker 8: a related emergency, Press one for pharm tours. Press two
Speaker 8: to learn more about our annual Corn Festival. Press three
Speaker 8: to speak with a certified Corn representative. Please press four.
Speaker 8: Thank you, and I have a corntastic day.
Speaker 13: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Sorry, I've never set like a script or anything, so
Speaker 8: I just kind of like freewheeled it. I feel like
Speaker 8: I went well, but I.
Speaker 5: Well up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, unless you got that job.
Speaker 3: I wish I could press three to learn more about
Speaker 3: the annual Corn Festival. Like, I'm genuinely curious now if you.
Speaker 1: Told me there was more than just one option, very
Speaker 1: extensive options.
Speaker 4: Yeah, very ambitious young man. I'm so glad he called.
Speaker 3: But now we're inching closer to number one on our list.
Speaker 3: Let's go to our number four loser line.
Speaker 4: Message of the good.
Speaker 7: Hi, Jasmine, it's uh. I did that that church seminar
Speaker 7: on abstinence.
Speaker 5: The other week.
Speaker 7: I was one of the speakers on abscidence. So anyway, Yeah,
Speaker 7: it was cool meeting you there, and I was just
Speaker 7: wondering if you want to maybe grab dinner sometime with me,
Speaker 7: you know, and just hang And yeah, I know it's
Speaker 7: probably weird that the abstinence guy is asking you out,
Speaker 7: but let's just say there's ways to get around all that,
Speaker 7: if you know what I mean. Then, I mean, look,
Speaker 7: we don't have to do what I'm thinking about doing.
Speaker 7: In fact, I mean we probably shouldn't because I'm an expert, right,
Speaker 7: So anyway, I'm just an abstinence you know, every minute,
Speaker 7: every day. But uh yeah, uh, anyway, I know a
Speaker 7: few workarounds.
Speaker 5: Let's put it that way, So give me a call.
Speaker 2: Why are the abstinence loophole people always the ones that
Speaker 2: are the creepiest?
Speaker 15: Yeah, yeah, just.
Speaker 1: Don't do it.
Speaker 4: Just joining us.
Speaker 3: We're counting out the top ten loser line voicemails of
Speaker 3: the past calendar year.
Speaker 4: And remember we are up on YouTube.
Speaker 3: There's a video of us listening and reacting in studio
Speaker 3: every single.
Speaker 4: Week to these. I'm waving right now, right now too live.
Speaker 3: So just type in Brook and Jeffrey on YouTube for
Speaker 3: your chance to subscribe. Now let's keep the list going.
Speaker 3: On to our number three loser line voicemail of the year.
Speaker 9: Hey, ol, Rivia, it's just wanted to call and say
Speaker 9: thanks again. Appreciate you out that rash I had on
Speaker 9: the back of my neck. You know, I initially thought
Speaker 9: it was just dangers, so I'm glad you said something
Speaker 9: to me. I got it checked out and the doctor
Speaker 9: says it's just the keep induced fungo bloom, which apparently
Speaker 9: is totally common guys who wear a lot of fleets
Speaker 9: and warm climates.
Speaker 5: H I got some fungo.
Speaker 9: Cream and seems to be taking care of it, and
Speaker 9: it was not nearly as bad as the ring where
Speaker 9: I caught last summer. But hey, that's how you learn right.
Speaker 9: Don't drink expired kombucha. Anyways, the rash is pretty much gone,
Speaker 9: so if you want to hang out again, just give
Speaker 9: me a call and let's put the fun in fungle.
Speaker 4: If there was ever a poster boy for oversharing, no
Speaker 4: one has ever hooked up after saying fungal bloom.
Speaker 2: I think you should take your hooded sweatshirts off?
Speaker 4: Is that why I'm I can't take my swe.
Speaker 3: Remember we're doing our top ten loser line countdown of
Speaker 3: the year, playing our favorite voicemails that we've received.
Speaker 4: We're on to number two. Now, let's listen.
Speaker 15: I'm at Shelly, how are you that pirate captain looking car?
Speaker 9: I know you've never heard his.
Speaker 15: Voice before, but I had a wheeled.
Speaker 8: Talk with your friend before I left see you the bar.
Speaker 15: She says, you only go for guys with accents. Well,
Speaker 15: I wouldn't have a rat chance and a gally of saracrafts. Otherwise,
Speaker 15: So how do you like the accents now, Shelly, Yeah,
Speaker 15: let's sail the Seven Seas together, or at least.
Speaker 7: Go to the movies and maybe Sheriff Smooth.
Speaker 15: Maybe we can see something that's rated.
Speaker 4: Are is kissing a pirate? Hot girls? Or does that
Speaker 4: sound like gross?
Speaker 1: I don't know, Jack Sparrow, I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how are you not mentioning the boat?
Speaker 12: Yeah?
Speaker 15: Stand up?
Speaker 3: But now we've made it. Finally, we are here at
Speaker 3: the number one loser line of twenty twenty five, and
Speaker 3: I don't even know if I want it to happen,
Speaker 3: because then it'll be over.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I love them.
Speaker 3: All good things have to come to an end. But
Speaker 3: this is an instant classic. The number one loser line
Speaker 3: we called the Great Alphonso.
Speaker 5: Yeah it is method.
Speaker 13: Hey, this is a great Alphonso, the birthday magician from
Speaker 13: the kids Party on Sunday Night with the purple vest
Speaker 13: I make up you get anyway, I'm off the clock now.
Speaker 13: Thanks for not writing me out to the host mom
Speaker 13: about the flash. She seems like a piece of work.
Speaker 13: So I don't normally do this, but it's just I
Speaker 13: felt like you and I had this kind of a
Speaker 13: thing happening right around when I did the foam rabbit
Speaker 13: popping out of the Prinkle's can. I heard deal a
Speaker 13: half and I don't know, but you just seemed like
Speaker 13: someone who's seen some before. You seem real, not like
Speaker 13: the bubblegum heads in the cloudlaf his rainbows and you
Speaker 13: hear from some of these moms. Anyway, if you want
Speaker 13: to grab a drink sometime, I know a spot that
Speaker 13: does karaoke, And if you really want to party, I
Speaker 13: know a guy that can hook us up with some
Speaker 13: party favor and uh, give me a call.
Speaker 1: Wow, she missed out.
Speaker 2: That would be Alfonso, will deliver some stories.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, don't worry. I saved his number for the
Speaker 3: end of the year party.
Speaker 1: I actually already.
Speaker 6: My favorite part is him being like, dude, she caught
Speaker 6: me with a flask, but she's the crazy one.
Speaker 4: She's got rob.
Speaker 3: You know those mobs, those were your top ten loser
Speaker 3: line voicemails of again, go find them on our socials
Speaker 3: at Brook and Jeffrey. Find us on YouTube, subscribe and
Speaker 3: like and do all the things there. It's Brook and
Speaker 3: Jeffrey in the Morning