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Speaker 1: What suggestions would you give to someone in their seventies

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Speaker 1: without a retirement plan.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, once you are in your seventies, you have an

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Speaker 2: immediate need for this money, so your timeline is like,

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Speaker 2: it is immediate. It's not even like a short term,

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Speaker 2: long term question. It's an immediacy. So because it's an immediacy,

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Speaker 2: we can't even really consider investment accounts because the money

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Speaker 2: can grow or it cannot grow, or it can you

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Speaker 2: can lose value, Like investments are a little bit more

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Speaker 2: risky then if you park the money in a high

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Speaker 2: yield savings account where it's just sitting in cash.

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Speaker 1: Hey ba fan, welcome to the BAQA. I am your host,

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Speaker 1: Mandy Money. I am enjoyed by my girl, Yea Nelly

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Speaker 1: Spinale aka Must be Hopeful aka the author of Mind

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Speaker 1: Your Money. If you haven't copped her book, then what

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Speaker 1: are you even waiting for? That's right, if you're watching

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Speaker 1: on YouTube, you can see the cover right there. Just

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Speaker 1: go get it. What are you waiting for? But before

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Speaker 1: we get into today's question, let me do my cute

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Speaker 1: little disclaimer so that we don't get served any fun

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Speaker 1: little lawsuits, because who has money for legal fees? Not me,

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Speaker 1: daycare is expensive, so get your salt shaker out because

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Speaker 1: I am not your financial planner. Yeah, Nelly's not your

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Speaker 1: financial planner, not your investment advisor. We have no course

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Speaker 1: in this race. We are just two beautiful, smart, intelligent

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Speaker 1: women with some ideas and some advice and some personal experience,

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Speaker 1: particularly yeah Nelly. And the reason my girl is here

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Speaker 1: today is because today's question was directed directly toward jan

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Speaker 1: Nelly based on a conversation we had. We were both

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out when didn't we talk about this?

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Speaker 1: But we do a lot of shows, but a listener,

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Speaker 1: jan Ellie, had a question about how you have been

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Speaker 1: helping your parents with their finances and you were game

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Speaker 1: to come answer it. But before we get into it,

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Speaker 1: because I'm nosy, can you just refresh for my memory

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Speaker 1: NBA fan memory? Like what is your family dynamic? I

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Speaker 1: know you have a bunch of siblings, but like, what's

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Speaker 1: your dynamic in the family? Are you just the CFO

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Speaker 1: of the household?

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Speaker 3: I sort of am.

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Speaker 2: So I'm the youngest girl, but I'm probably the only

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Speaker 2: one that really really nerds out when it comes to

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Speaker 2: like financial literacy and personal finance stuff. So there are

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Speaker 2: older siblings that kind of make big important decisions. But

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Speaker 2: when it comes down to like the administrative and management

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Speaker 2: of the actual money, moving things and paying bills and

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Speaker 2: making sure we have enough and things like that, it

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Speaker 2: usually does follow on me to do that, like administrative stuff,

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Speaker 2: so big big decisions. Of course, some of my older

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Speaker 2: siblings wait in. But yeah, definitely the month to month

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Speaker 2: and week to week things that come with money, Like,

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Speaker 2: it's usually me that's just handling it. And I created

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Speaker 2: the system that we all basically use now to save

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Speaker 2: up together as a family, and also to manage auto

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Speaker 2: pay for all the bills for my parents and also

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Speaker 2: to administer their allowance because we have them on an

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Speaker 2: allowance thing, which we could talk about.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, so you're like, this is a full conservatorship.

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Speaker 1: It sound a lot so Mommy and cannot be trusted.

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Speaker 3: Bobby can't be trusted. Mommy can. But the thing is,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest.

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Speaker 2: I love my dad, but he's a dick as a

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Speaker 2: gambling But I love him, but he has a gambling problem.

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Speaker 2: And we all know this, and he knows this, and

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Speaker 2: so he's been trying. He's working on it. But you know,

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Speaker 2: I think that there's definitely a piece of like a

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Speaker 2: little bit of like a lack of trust when it

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Speaker 2: comes to my dad, not so much my mom.

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Speaker 3: But I wouldn't say.

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Speaker 2: Necessarily that it's a conservatives ship because what it's more

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Speaker 2: of is like I wanted to lift the weight off

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Speaker 2: of them completely now that they're older. You know, my

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Speaker 2: mom is close to seventy, my dad's already seventy five.

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Speaker 2: I want I don't want them to have to even

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Speaker 2: look at a financial statement. I don't want them to

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Speaker 2: have to pay a bill. I don't want them to

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Speaker 2: worry about anything. And so for me, it was more

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Speaker 2: so like what can we do, What can we put

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Speaker 2: in place for them so that they have money that

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Speaker 2: they need or want for whatever they need or want,

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Speaker 2: But they never have to pay mortgage, You never have

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Speaker 2: to buy you know, pay for groceries and have to

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Speaker 2: pay for things.

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Speaker 3: It all just kind of magically gets.

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Speaker 2: Done for them, and then they have their little allowance

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Speaker 2: to spend on whatever their heart's desire.

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Speaker 1: How lucky for them that they have, you, right, I

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Speaker 1: recently had to put a boundary in place with my family.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I can't with my dad particularly, I'm

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Speaker 1: like I don't have the bandwidth to be the go

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Speaker 1: to person for big questions. I just felt it felt

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Speaker 1: like an immense amount of pressure and like, and I'm

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Speaker 1: not even gonna lie a little bit of annoyance on

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Speaker 1: my side, like why do I have to be that?

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Speaker 1: Why didn't anybody ever teach me? Why do I have

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Speaker 1: to teach them? Where's the grown up? Why do I

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Speaker 1: have to be adult? I mean, I am legitimately an

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Speaker 1: adult now where.

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Speaker 3: You got two kids? Would you know?

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Speaker 1: It's not it's not a nice feeling to admit that

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Speaker 1: you have. But I'm just trying to be honest. Tell

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Speaker 1: me how you how you? I mean, does it just

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Speaker 1: come naturally to You're just like, Oh, this is what

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Speaker 1: I want to do. I'm good at this. I you know,

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Speaker 1: this is why I want to spend my time and

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Speaker 1: my energy.

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Speaker 3: You know what.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if it's a first generation daughter of

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Speaker 2: immigrants type of guilt or or what it is that

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Speaker 2: it feels more like a responsible like it feels like

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Speaker 2: how dare I not?

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Speaker 3: Like they have they sacrificed everything they knew and.

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Speaker 2: Every you know, worked unforgiving jobs like backbreaking labor on

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Speaker 2: my dad's part, My mom like, you know, pretty much

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Speaker 2: sacrificed her having really any kind of hobby. I mean,

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Speaker 2: she raised nine kids. She really couldn't make time for

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Speaker 2: anything but child wearing. And I just feel like now

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Speaker 2: they're at this age where it's like, man, they just

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Speaker 2: want to like rest and chill and they have their little.

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Speaker 3: Hobbies and things.

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Speaker 2: My mom like devotes all her time into the church,

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Speaker 2: and my dad loves to like take trips to visit

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Speaker 2: his siblings and then you know, do his little gambling.

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Speaker 2: He does his little bets on whatever sports are going

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Speaker 2: on at the time, or he'll go to a casino

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Speaker 2: every now and then.

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Speaker 3: But you know, I feel like they.

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Speaker 2: Now are at a point where I just feel like

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Speaker 2: I would feel so bad if they still had to

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Speaker 2: continue on after decades of sacrificing working and trying to

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Speaker 2: pay bills and surviving and everything paycheck to paycheck and

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Speaker 2: you know, and managing government assistants and all the things

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Speaker 2: they navigated even though they didn't freak they don't even

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Speaker 2: know English, like they truly don't. They had to kind

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Speaker 2: of really figure things out. And so I feel like

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Speaker 2: it is the while we can't like fully retire them

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Speaker 2: to the point that we would like to Like I

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Speaker 2: would love for them to just have a paid off

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Speaker 2: house and just travel every time they want to go

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Speaker 2: to dr and things like that.

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Speaker 3: We're not at that level. Our family's not there.

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Speaker 2: But what we can do, what is within like, you know, realistically,

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Speaker 2: really nice to have, is that they don't have to

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Speaker 2: worry about finances. And it doesn't mean we pay for

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Speaker 2: everything and they keep everything that they get. Because they

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Speaker 2: both have a Social Security income, I actually collect everything

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Speaker 2: so and then everything comes into one account where it's

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Speaker 2: all pulled in, and then I manage ensuring that from

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Speaker 2: that pool, which includes their social Security income as well

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Speaker 2: as all of the contributions from their children that we

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Speaker 2: pour in every month, all of that gets divvied out

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Speaker 2: to pay the mortgage, the electric built, the water built,

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Speaker 2: the gas built, the internet build everything, all their cell

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Speaker 2: phone bills, any bill that has to get paid. Everything

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Speaker 2: is on auto pay every single month, so none of

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Speaker 2: us have to really worry about anything. I just occasionally

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Speaker 2: log in and make sure everything looks good and you

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Speaker 2: know that were not being charged fees that we're not

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Speaker 2: supposed to be charged, or that everything's kind of you know,

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Speaker 2: squared away.

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Speaker 3: But for the most part, Like I.

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Speaker 2: Just don't really want them to have to experience any

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Speaker 2: additional stress that they don't have to. I just want

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Speaker 2: them to be grandparents, been their grandma and grandpa era.

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Speaker 2: I want them to be able to go to DC

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Speaker 2: Maryland visit my sister and brother. I want them to

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Speaker 2: be able to come to Miami and visit me. I

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Speaker 2: want them to go to dr and visit their their

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Speaker 2: siblings that they still have over there, and not have

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Speaker 2: to worry about like am I gonna be able to

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Speaker 2: afford this trip? Or am I gonna do Am I

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Speaker 2: gonna make the rent if I or the bills if

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Speaker 2: I don't do this, or I just don't want them

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Speaker 2: to have to worry about that.

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Speaker 3: And the fact that we have.

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Speaker 2: So many in my family, like there's nine children, they

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Speaker 2: had nine children, So it just made sense to me

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Speaker 2: in my mind. I was like, it just makes sense,

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Speaker 2: Like why would we not do this when there's nine

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Speaker 2: of us and two of them and they've already put

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Speaker 2: so much sacrifice all these years, Like the least we

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Speaker 2: can do is create a situation where they don't have

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Speaker 2: to think about a damn bill ever again.

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Speaker 1: And they just so it sounds like, y'all each contribute

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Speaker 1: a certain amount each month, and so is that left

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Speaker 1: up to each person or did y'all decide like across

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Speaker 1: the board we're going to do this.

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Speaker 2: That was the first kind of big I think step,

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Speaker 2: which if anybody out there is listening, is like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I need to do this with my family. Here's the

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Speaker 2: first big step, and I highly recommend you handle it

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Speaker 2: like with a little bit of grace, because I at

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Speaker 2: first was like very adamant that we each had to

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Speaker 2: put in a certain amount of money, and I was like, look,

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Speaker 2: everybody has to do this, much like, this is the

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Speaker 2: only way we're going to be able to actually hit

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Speaker 2: at least I wanted at the time. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: just have twenty k to thirty k just cash in

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Speaker 2: a savings account for medical emergencies, for any kind of travel,

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Speaker 2: for anything that went wrong with the roof or the

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Speaker 2: league or the pipe or whatever. I just always wanted

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Speaker 2: to have that cash buffer. And so I was like,

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Speaker 2: in order to hit this, everybody needs to put in

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Speaker 2: this number. And immediately I kind of got some pushback because,

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Speaker 2: like some of my siblings at the meeting, nobody said

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Speaker 2: anything because we all did this like this was like

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Speaker 2: but right before COVID we all did it in person meeting,

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Speaker 2: and then we had to start doing zoom meetings. So

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Speaker 2: it's kind of hard to read people on zoom. You know,

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Speaker 2: people be playing it off unless they have like they

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Speaker 2: can't hide their face. But so I got a side

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Speaker 2: text from one of my sisters who's like, girl, you're

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Speaker 2: doing too much. You're pushing like maybe you can afford

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Speaker 2: that every month, but some of us we got multiple kids.

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Speaker 2: We have to pay for daycare, we have to pay

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Speaker 2: for you know, we have debt, We have all this situation.

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Speaker 2: We have a husband, our wives are the other people's families.

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Speaker 2: You know, you don't have children, you're not married, you're

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Speaker 2: not in a situation where you're paying debts or you're

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Speaker 2: paying You're in a great situation to be young, unmarried,

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Speaker 2: have high income and not have children. But and so

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Speaker 2: then I kind of felt bad and I was like,

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Speaker 2: damn you right, like, let's not put all this pressure

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Speaker 2: that we all have to put a certain number. And

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Speaker 2: so then I came back to everyone, I said sorry everybody,

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Speaker 2: like I was just trying to go hard and I

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Speaker 2: had this number in my head and I was just

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Speaker 2: trying to go ham and let's do it in a

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Speaker 2: way where it's fair to everyone. You just put whatever

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Speaker 2: number you can afford. Run your budget, and if you

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Speaker 2: need help from me, I'm happy to overlook your budget

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Speaker 2: with you.

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Speaker 3: But just crunch your own numbers, look at what you

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Speaker 3: have to.

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Speaker 2: Pay for, and then try to cut out like what

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Speaker 2: you can right realistically, Like don't be giving me twenty

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Speaker 2: five dollars a month. That's not I mean, please do something,

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Speaker 2: you know, cut what you you have to cut so

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Speaker 2: you can put something. I was hoping it will be

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Speaker 2: a couple hundred each, and that is actually what ended

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Speaker 2: up happening. Everybody just kind of chose a number that

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Speaker 2: worked for them. Some put more than others. But we

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Speaker 2: are still we were still able to during COVID, we

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Speaker 2: were able to hit twenty k, and that was my

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Speaker 2: big goal and so that we don't have to worry

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Speaker 2: about anything with the house.

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Speaker 3: And then we continued to keep.

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Speaker 2: Adding every month no matter what. And then once my

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Speaker 2: parents qualified for Social Security income, my mom had to

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Speaker 2: be sixty five because no, my mom didn't have to

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Speaker 2: wait till sixty five because she was getting spousal Social

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Speaker 2: Security income versus my dad had to wait because he

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Speaker 2: was actually collecting the actual Social Security So it worked

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Speaker 2: out where they both get their check. It's not a

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Speaker 2: ton of money, but we add that to the account,

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Speaker 2: plus everybody's contributions. We pay everything that has to get paid,

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Speaker 2: and then the extra I split between their allowance which

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Speaker 2: they get paid every week, and just adding it to

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Speaker 2: the savings.

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Speaker 3: So we could just keep putting cash in reserves.

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Speaker 2: Because at the end of the day, I already know

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Speaker 2: that they're not the most active elderly people that I know,

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Speaker 2: So there are gonna be some health issues soon. I

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Speaker 2: know there's going to be medical bills. I know they're

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Speaker 2: going to have to, you know, pay for therapy or

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Speaker 2: whatever whatever, and so I'm like, I already know. I'm

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Speaker 2: anticipating some of that chunk of that money is going

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Speaker 2: to probably go to medical costs pretty soon.

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Speaker 1: Well, they're very lucky to have an organized group of

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Speaker 1: nine and at least one ringleader. You need one person

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Speaker 1: to just like herd the cats, and especially when you

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Speaker 1: you know you have siblings who have their lives are

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Speaker 1: getting more complex than people are. Yeah, hey, ba fam,

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Speaker 1: we got to take a quick break, pay some bills

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Speaker 1: and we'll be right back. All right, BA fam, We're back.

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Speaker 1: I will. Let's actually get into the BA listener's question,

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Speaker 1: and I think you touched on some of the answer

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Speaker 1: that she was looking for, but I do want to

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Speaker 1: read her question. So this came from listener Candace. Candace said, Hey,

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Speaker 1: Manny and Yanelly, and your last Brown Table episode, Yanellie

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Speaker 1: shared how she set up an investment account with her

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Speaker 1: siblings as an emergency fund for her parents. I'd love

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Speaker 1: to know more about that, either from her or what

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Speaker 1: you might recommend if I wanted to start something similar

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Speaker 1: for my mom. She has no real savings, so I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking about ways my siblings and I can start preparing

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Speaker 1: for how to best support her as she continues to age.

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Speaker 1: What kind of investment account? She keeps saying investment account interesting?

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Speaker 1: What kind of investment account might be best? How did we start?

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Speaker 1: How much is good to start? What suggestions would you

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Speaker 1: give to someone in their seventies without a retirement plan? Ps?

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Speaker 1: I love the show. I'm so grateful for your platform

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Speaker 1: and how you use it to keep us informed and inspired.

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Speaker 1: I hope you'll consider my question for a future Oh

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Speaker 1: so polite. Thank you, Candace and.

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Speaker 2: Is Oh, I'm so happy you sent this question because

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Speaker 2: I bet you there were people wondering and who like

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Speaker 2: maybe just didn't you know ask, So Candace put this

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Speaker 2: out there. I'm sure other people could benefit. Girl, We

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Speaker 2: got to talk about that. Investment. Investment. Investment came up

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Speaker 2: a lot. Candace said her par moms in her seventies.

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Speaker 1: Are seventies, no real savings.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So unfortunately, once you are in your seventies, you

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Speaker 2: have an mediate need for this money. So your timeline

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Speaker 2: is like, it is immediate. It's not even like a

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Speaker 2: short term, long term question. It's an immediacy. So because

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Speaker 2: it's an immediacy, we can't even really consider investment accounts

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Speaker 2: because the money can grow or it cannot grow, or

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Speaker 2: it can you can lose value, Like investments are a

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Speaker 2: little bit more risky. Then if you park the money

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Speaker 2: in a high yield savings account where it's just sitting

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Speaker 2: in cash and it's not in bonds or funds or.

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Speaker 3: Stocks or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: Even a CD, because you got to tire money up

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Speaker 1: in a even have to be a really short CD.

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Speaker 2: It would have to be a short CD six months

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Speaker 2: a year, in which case, when you look at these six.

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Speaker 3: Months in twelve month CDs.

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Speaker 2: Oftentimes, when we're in a high rate environment like we

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Speaker 2: are in mid twenty twenty five, we're in a high

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Speaker 2: interest rate environment because the Federal Reserve has not lowered

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Speaker 2: interest rates since back in like November of twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 2: Everyone's waiting, just wait, wait, waiting till the day that

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Speaker 2: they lower these rates. And because they have not lowered

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Speaker 2: the rates, people like me have been able to bet

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Speaker 2: fit from these high rates because the interest on a

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Speaker 2: high yield saving these account is freaking high four percent

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Speaker 2: five percent. So we've been milking that, collecting that four

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Speaker 2: percent five percent for the past couple of years while

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Speaker 2: interest rates have been really high. And that's been really

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Speaker 2: nice for us because we chose not to invest this

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Speaker 2: money since we know that my parents really pretty much

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Speaker 2: need it now like monthly to pay all the things

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Speaker 2: that they have to cover. So I would not recommend

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Speaker 2: investing for a seventy year old. That being said, my

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Speaker 2: mom she babysits my nieces and nephews or well, hasn't

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Speaker 2: really been as much lately because now they go to aftercare.

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Speaker 2: But when they were a little younger, my mom was

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Speaker 2: the basically their main babysitter. So what my sister would

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Speaker 2: do is my sister would pay my mom to babysit

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Speaker 2: her kids, and we worked it out in a way

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Speaker 2: where she would babysit, she would pay my mom exactly

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Speaker 2: a certain amount, so that by the end of the year,

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Speaker 2: my mom collected six thousand dollars. Why six thousand, because

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Speaker 2: that's how much you could put into a roth array

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Speaker 2: and so at that time, this was a couple of

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Speaker 2: years ago, what we did was every time once my

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Speaker 2: mom turned fifty, once you're fifty years old or older,

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Speaker 2: you can put an extra one thousand dollars catchup contribution.

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Speaker 2: So in this case, my sister was essentially saying, hey,

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Speaker 2: Mom's not going to be able to use this money

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Speaker 2: because she's, you know, essentially not able to access the

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Speaker 2: roth iray money until later. And we really wanted to grow,

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Speaker 2: so why don't we just write that money.

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Speaker 3: Off into the future.

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Speaker 2: So the beneficiary on my mom's roth diarrat eventually one

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Speaker 2: day is going to inherit all of that money that

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Speaker 2: my mom earned from babysitting. Because my mom didn't really

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Speaker 2: need earnings because we were already covering all of her

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Speaker 2: living expenses. And giving her an allowance every week. And

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Speaker 2: so we worked it out in that way where my

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Speaker 2: mom was like, yeah, cool, Like, look, I'm happy to

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Speaker 2: just leave it to the beneficiary, but if I need something,

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Speaker 2: if I want to go shopping and buy a dress,

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Speaker 2: I need to.

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Speaker 3: Be able to have my money. And we're like, absolutely, mom.

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Speaker 2: So what we did was we set up the roth

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Speaker 2: aray for her, but she listed my Star as a beneficiary,

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Speaker 2: so her daughter, and that's sort of like growing, growing, growing,

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Speaker 2: and we already know it's going to be inherited tax

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Speaker 2: free by my mom's heir, by my mom's beneficiary.

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Speaker 3: So that's kind of something that we have just in

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Speaker 3: the works over there.

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Speaker 1: But in terms of this, I thought about like a trust.

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Speaker 1: I've known, I've heard of like using a trust as

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Speaker 1: a beneficiary, but I know that's a tiny bit more complicated,

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Speaker 1: but I just wondered.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a tiny bit more complicated just in terms

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Speaker 2: of like who you want to inherit it. If my

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Speaker 2: mom wanted to make sure there were multiple people inheriting it,

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Speaker 2: then I probably would have done a trust so that

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Speaker 2: the trust pays out the beneficiaries based on like pace schedule,

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Speaker 2: and agreed upon terms that my mom would be happy with.

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Speaker 2: But because it's money that my sister pretty much was

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Speaker 2: paying my mom for the babysitting, it was very easy

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Speaker 2: to just be like, oh, okay, this one person is

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Speaker 2: just going to be listed as the beneficiary, and that

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Speaker 2: kind of makes it simple because it's just the one

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Speaker 2: account with one beneficiary named. But it would if my

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Speaker 2: mom was trying to leave that money for multiple for

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Speaker 2: like her grandkids or for multiple kids. I do think

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Speaker 2: that it would have made more sense to put in

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Speaker 2: a trust and have like set terms for the payout

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Speaker 2: from the trust to each person.

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Speaker 1: Trust much. But it's her favorite grand baby, it's.

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Speaker 3: Her, It's just the one.

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Speaker 2: But in terms of the savings, what I will say,

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Speaker 2: we set up the savings account where two siblings are

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Speaker 2: the account holders, and I would recommend two or three people.

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Speaker 3: Why because if it was just.

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Speaker 2: My name on the savings account, come on, now, you

402
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 2: putting all your trust in me. Granted I'm like a

403
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Speaker 2: public persona who has a book and a YouTube channel.

404
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 3: They probably okay, that's.

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Speaker 1: How you might have a bad year. No one knows.

406
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,120
Speaker 2: You never know, and I might be like, I would

407
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Speaker 2: really love to go to Kanko for my birthday.

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Speaker 3: They don't got to know how I'm taking the money out.

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Speaker 2: So I personally would never put all of the ownership

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Speaker 2: and all of the access in just one person. I

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Speaker 2: don't care how trust forth there. I don't care if

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Speaker 2: it's me, I don't think I would never allow them

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Speaker 2: to just put me. So I have myself, my sister,

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Speaker 2: and I recently told my brother he should be at

415
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Speaker 2: it as well, just in case. It's better to have more.

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Speaker 2: So everyone can log in with their own user names

417
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Speaker 2: and pass words, take a look at the money coming

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Speaker 2: in and out, make sure that it's just bills being paid.

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Speaker 2: There's no shady business. I think that's really important. So

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Speaker 2: if anybody listening.

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Speaker 1: Wants to do it is really important. Do you ever

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Speaker 1: run into any like power struggles with so many siblings?

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Speaker 1: Did anyone else feel a type of way like well

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Speaker 1: I can also help, or I should also help, and

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Speaker 1: how did you if that happened? Like how did you?

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Speaker 2: Honestly, I'm very grateful that my older siblings they were

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Speaker 2: all like, what a relief, Jennelie's going to manage this.

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Speaker 3: We don't got to deal with this shit like we

429
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Speaker 3: don't like because they have kids and houses and all

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Speaker 3: kinds of things.

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Speaker 2: So I think a lot of the older siblings were

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Speaker 2: like relieved that I was willing to step up and say, look,

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Speaker 2: I'll manage it and I'll set things up.

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Speaker 3: But the reality is, I got to say it was

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Speaker 3: a lot of work up front, but once you put.

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Speaker 2: Things in place and automate them, you're not really doing much.

437
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,439
Speaker 2: I mean, you're just kind of checking in. You know,

438
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,480
Speaker 2: I would recommend at least quarterly, but like twice a

439
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,680
Speaker 2: year minimum, But you're just checking in to make sure

440
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 2: everything is like about bore, everything looks right, if there's

441
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,639
Speaker 2: anything that looks sketchy, if there's a fee that was charging,

442
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,320
Speaker 2: what is this fee?

443
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:06,359
Speaker 3: What's going on here? Then you could clarify.

444
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,920
Speaker 2: But I'm not really doing it. Am not clicking any

445
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 2: buttons or pressing send or pay. Everything is automated. So

446
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:17,080
Speaker 2: my parents social Security income gets automated into the savings account,

447
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 2: their joint savings which has all essentially all of the

448
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 2: money that they get from income is pulled there automatically.

449
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 2: There's a transfer from that account into the family savings account,

450
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,360
Speaker 2: where we all sell money or whatever. Sometimes my siblings

451
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 2: use ell sometimes one of them uses PayPal whatever it is.

452
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,199
Speaker 2: They all send the money into one account, and then

453
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 2: every month that account automates the payment to the mortgage,

454
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,920
Speaker 2: automates the payment to the bills, and so it's pretty

455
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,960
Speaker 2: much a lot of just like transferring, automated payments set

456
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 2: up already so that then pretty much whatever is left

457
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,399
Speaker 2: I automated. Every Friday, it pays out to two different

458
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 2: checking accounts, which are my mom's checking account and my

459
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 2: dad's checking account. And I'm also listed as an account

460
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 2: holder on each of their accounts so that I can

461
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 2: easily move money in and out if they have a

462
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,160
Speaker 2: trip and I got to add petty cash for travel

463
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: whatever it is. And they each have the debit card

464
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: for their own personal checking accounts, so it's automated every Friday.

465
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 2: They know they and like it's a point where sometimes,

466
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 2: like my dad would call me and he's like did

467
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 2: He's like, I went to the ATM and I couldn't

468
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 2: get cash out. Did you make sure my allow was

469
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 2: hit on Friday? I don't know, it doesn't seem like

470
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 2: it's there. And I'm like, Dad, it's there, Like whatever's

471
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 2: wrong with the ATM?

472
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 3: And so it's like it's the point where.

473
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 1: So how did y'all come to an agreement on how

474
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,199
Speaker 1: much the allowance was.

475
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 2: So we just had a conversation with them. We're like,

476
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,159
Speaker 2: be real with us, like how much you think you need.

477
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 2: My mom was like, honestly, I don't need that much,

478
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 2: Like I'll give twenty thirty bucks on Sundays when I

479
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 2: go to church and if I need to buy a

480
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 2: Metro card. They both live in New York City, so

481
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 2: if they want to hop on this train or take

482
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 2: an uber. And then my mom was like, every now

483
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,119
Speaker 2: and then if I go shopping, if you know, I

484
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,159
Speaker 2: don't really shop that much. And my dad was like,

485
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be real with y'all. I need a couple

486
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 2: hundred each week because I do like to go, you know,

487
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 2: get a Metro car to go to my siblings' places,

488
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,880
Speaker 2: or you know, if I do a bet here or there,

489
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 2: fifty bucks, forty bucks. So I told him, I was like,

490
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 2: realistically that I don't feel comfortable giving you too much

491
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,679
Speaker 2: because I already know that money's literally going to waste,

492
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 2: like you're just gambling it away. We could be using

493
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 2: that money to pay down the mortgage, to pay your bills,

494
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 2: to pay, you know, to keep the water electricity on.

495
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 2: So there was a little bit of a conversation I

496
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 2: had to have with my dad just to like expectation

497
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 2: set because again I don't care what he does with

498
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 2: his allowance. I did tell them, I don't care what

499
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 2: you do. Once you get your allowance, that's your money.

500
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 2: You do whatever you want with it. We're not gonna

501
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,199
Speaker 2: clock you. What did you do with your money? But

502
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, a realistic number that

503
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 2: a lot of us did not feel comfortable giving my dad,

504
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 2: like flast six hundred, seven hundred dollars a week to

505
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 2: go blow it on gambling.

506
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,360
Speaker 3: So we had to.

507
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 2: Tell him that, and I came to an agreement with

508
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 2: him where I said to him, if there's ever anything

509
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 2: that's really important that you need to cover, use the

510
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 2: debit card to pay for it, because then I can

511
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: see I can trust, but verify I can verify that

512
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 2: it actually indeed did go to groceries or running errands

513
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 2: or whatever, you know, printing or whatever things you needed

514
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 2: to pay, rather than him going to the ATM machine

515
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 2: taking out the cash and then later on telling me, oh,

516
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 2: you know, I had to go and buy an extra

517
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 2: chicken because your aunt was coming over for dinner.

518
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 3: Can you reimburse me for that chicken?

519
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 2: And I'm like, how do I know you bought chicken?

520
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,679
Speaker 2: Because you took the cash out the ATM. Dad like,

521
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 2: so we had to have a heart to heart with

522
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 2: him where I told him, Look, this is what we're

523
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 2: gonna do. If you take out cash, I am going

524
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 2: to assume you're gambling it. So if you know you're

525
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 2: gonna buy something that's for the family or something you

526
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 2: want to get reimbursed for, please just use the debit

527
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 2: card so there's some type of documented history of where

528
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 2: the purchase was made. And then I wait, that way

529
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 2: I can verify you know, we're not giving you too

530
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 2: much to go, yeah, gamble. I don't want to enable

531
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 2: him to like waste all his money gambling. That's like

532
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 2: the main thing that concerns me with my dad.

533
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 1: And your mom, Like, I mean, that puts her in

534
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: a vulnerable position without you guys. You know that if

535
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 1: he were to, yeah, God forbid, lose all the money

536
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: or all the savings that y'all had set aside for them.

537
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 1: I think that's the most compassionate, compassionate and also protective

538
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,160
Speaker 1: thing that you could do for both of your parents.

539
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 2: My biggest thing is I don't want them to lose

540
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 2: their dignity. I don't want any human being on this

541
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,880
Speaker 2: earth who is in a situation where they need they

542
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,920
Speaker 2: need help financially to feel like they don't have dignity.

543
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 3: It sucks. I have felt that way. I don't want

544
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 3: anyone to feel that way.

545
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 2: I already feel like my mom and dad spent many

546
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 2: years feeling like that because they want government assistants as immigrants.

547
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 2: I don't want to make him lose his dignity, but

548
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 2: I also want him to understand, like where's the fine line, Like, bro,

549
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 2: I'm not going to give you seven hundred dollars a

550
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 2: week to go throw one hundred dollars a day to

551
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 2: go throw away playing numbers or lottery tickets or whatever

552
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 2: it is he likes to do.

553
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 3: So it's about.

554
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 1: Girl.

555
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 2: And then the thing is when they're working forties, fifties,

556
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 2: sixties and they're still working, they don't have a lot

557
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 2: of free time.

558
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 3: To like go do this. But he's re tiger.

559
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 2: He fully wakes up, goes for his walk, makes his shake,

560
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 2: and then he's like, what am I gonna do today?

561
00:23:58,880 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 3: And his hobby is dad.

562
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 2: So it's like so it's like I feel like it

563
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 2: got worse now because he has all this free time.

564
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 1: We garden? Can we volunteer with the youth?

565
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 3: I don't know. Come on, girl, I've been trying to

566
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 3: come with him.

567
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 2: I've been trying convincing him. I'm like, go to the

568
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,199
Speaker 2: there's a bunch of events nearby. And there's like a

569
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 2: community center near where he lives in Bushwick where there's

570
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 2: they have a community events where they do like she

571
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 2: is you a nice hobby girl?

572
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 3: He could do a lot of things. The problem is

573
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 3: he's just stuck in his ways. You know.

574
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 1: They say he can't trandiction.

575
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 2: That that part too, which I'm fully aware of, and

576
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 2: I try to talk to him about it. So funny

577
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 2: thing last month he called me and he was like,

578
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 2: You're gonna be so proud of me. I've gone three

579
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 2: weeks straight without betting anything, no betting on numbers, no

580
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,159
Speaker 2: lottery nothing. I was like, we whiz okay, look at you,

581
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,680
Speaker 2: three whole wheezs.

582
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: He's like, my dad, what he really means is like

583
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: three days, like he's rounding up.

584
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 2: So he told me it was three weeks and I

585
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 2: called my mom and she was like, no, it's true.

586
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 3: I haven't. Haven't earn him on the phone with the book.

587
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 3: You haven't.

588
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 2: He hasn't really been doing any of that. He's you know,

589
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: been going to church with me and stuff. So I

590
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 2: think he's, you know, try to prove to himself that

591
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 2: he's not an addict, because that's I think what he

592
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 2: was afraid of, like, you know, people being like, oh,

593
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 2: you're addicted to it, and he doesn't like that.

594
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 3: He doesn't want to acknowledge that.

595
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 2: So he wanted to prove that it wasn't true that

596
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 2: he could go a month or two months without playing.

597
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 3: So, I mean, look, that is Dad. I love him.

598
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 2: I understand his flaws, I think, Jill, I think the

599
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 2: biggest thing for me, the top priority was I don't

600
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 2: want them to have stress or worries about any bills

601
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 2: or financial things. And I also don't want to take

602
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,239
Speaker 2: away their dignity. I want them to feel like they

603
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 2: could do whatever they want with their money. They're grown

604
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 2: ass adults. I don't want to feel like I'm mommy.

605
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 2: Now you're the kid, and I tell you what to

606
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: do with money. I don't want them to feel like

607
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,959
Speaker 2: they have to call me and beg me for money.

608
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 2: I wanted to create a situation that was fair financially

609
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 2: reasonable for us to manage and also maintain their dignity.

610
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 2: And I think we've caught into a point where we

611
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: have a nice balance of all those things.

612
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,439
Speaker 1: Hey, ba fam, We're going to take a quick break,

613
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: pay some bills, and we'll be right back. All right,

614
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 1: ba fam, We're back. So takeaways for Candace, I mean,

615
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,199
Speaker 1: so many gems, but not an investment account. Let's do

616
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 1: hy yo savings get yours? She does say her siblings,

617
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: So it sounds like they could have a family meeting

618
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 1: and decide how much they can contribute and start with

619
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: some kind of savings goal. How did you settle on

620
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: the twenty to thirty k? And for someone in thee

621
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: her mom's also in her seventies, what's a good way

622
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 1: to come up with that like whole savings goal before

623
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: you you know, just to like make that nest egg

624
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: and then y'all can keep contributing after that.

625
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 2: I would say, look at their income that they were

626
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,640
Speaker 2: generating before they fully retired, and try to get three

627
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 2: to six months of that income, of that monthly income

628
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 2: at least as just a cash savings emergency fund. But

629
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 2: then the next step is what is the absolute worst

630
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 2: case scenario? For me, it was the roof needs to

631
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 2: be repaired or redone completely. And so because they're you know,

632
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 2: my dad and my mom are homeowners, so I was like,

633
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 2: that home. The worst thing that could happen is they

634
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 2: are now are fully responsible for paying something on that

635
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 2: house that they can't afford. So I just did some research.

636
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 2: How much would it cost to redo that entire roof

637
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 2: if insurance pitches in and whatever whatever comes down to

638
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 2: like twenty something thousand. So I was like, we have

639
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 2: to have, aside from just a cash buffer in a

640
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 2: savings for whatever they need day to day petty cash,

641
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,680
Speaker 2: we need to have an additional twenty k in case

642
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 2: something goes wrong with the house. We can cover it

643
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 2: anything with the water, with the HVAC, with plumbing, with

644
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 2: the roof. I just want to be able to just

645
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 2: pay it and I don't want them to stress. So

646
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,199
Speaker 2: that was kind of my way of thinking of it.

647
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 2: I also thought to myself, like, worst case scenario is

648
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,959
Speaker 2: a medical issue, but they both thankfully have Medicare, so

649
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 2: it wasn't as bad because I know Medicare covers pretty much.

650
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:48,479
Speaker 2: I mean Medicare covers like eighty percent of everything that

651
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 2: they need or no. Medicaid covers eighty percent of their

652
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 2: needs and the remaining twenty percents covered by Medicare, so

653
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 2: they essentially only they never ever really have to come

654
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,399
Speaker 2: out of pocket when they have issues with they have

655
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 2: to go to the dock. Thank goodness, because my mom

656
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 2: had a really big scare last year where she fainted

657
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,959
Speaker 2: randomly out of know where. She was in the bathroom

658
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 2: and she just fainted and my brothers didn't even know

659
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 2: she fainted because she was in the bathroom. And after

660
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 2: some time they were like, dang, Mom's been in the

661
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 2: bathroom for a minute. So they went over and like

662
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 2: knock on the door and we're like my mom, mom,

663
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 2: and she wasn't responding, so they freaked out. They went

664
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 2: got a kitchen knife, busted the door open, and sure

665
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 2: enough Mom was on the floor and they were like panicking,

666
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 2: and they brought her to the hospital.

667
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 3: Thank goodness. She was in the hospital for like three

668
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 3: or four days. It was an issue of so many things.

669
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 2: She is anemic, she had a dehydration, she doesn't strick

670
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 2: enough water.

671
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 3: There were so many things.

672
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 2: She was secretly doing a religious fast that she didn't

673
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 2: tell anyone that she wasn't eating for three days, but

674
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 2: all of that combined into her being so weak she fainted. Now,

675
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 2: thank goodness, even though she was in the hospital for

676
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 2: four days and she was okay and everything was good.

677
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 2: We also didn't have to worry about the financial issue

678
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: of the burden of it the medical bills because she

679
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 2: had Medicare at Medicaid and it covered everything. So like

680
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 2: that to me made me feel like better about not

681
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: having to worry about medical bills and expenses and focus

682
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 2: more so on an emergency. Worst case scenario would be

683
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 2: the house.

684
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 1: So that was a test of the insurance. Yeah.

685
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I would say that to Candice, like, if

686
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 2: you want to come up with a buffer, start with

687
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 2: three to six months of replacing their earned income from

688
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 2: before retirement. But then also push it a step further

689
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 2: and just go to the darkest place. It's called negative visualization.

690
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 2: I talk about this in my book Negative Visualization. Visualize

691
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 2: the most horrible negative sty the worst positive possible negative

692
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 2: situation that could happen that would cost so much that

693
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 2: you just like, what would it be given the details

694
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 2: of their life.

695
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 3: Right. If there are renters, then obviously a.

696
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 2: Roof leak wouldn't be their issue. But if their homeowners,

697
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 2: well you know you're on that's on you. So just

698
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 2: imagine what could be the worst case scenario. How much

699
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 2: would that estimate be to cover that cost? And that

700
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 2: should be the next goal after the just the typical

701
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: regular emergency savings fund.

702
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 1: Okay, gotcha? Yeah, and at that age too, it's a

703
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: if you're fortunate enough to be getting Social Security, it's

704
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 1: a fixed income, so a lot of older people it's

705
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 1: like how to what and if you don't have investments

706
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: to supplement that, it can be really hard to live

707
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: on whatever you get from Social Security. I don't know

708
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: why they call it social security because ain't nothing secure.

709
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: But I think the average benefits like twelve hundred a

710
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: month or something maybe less, Like you're not talking about

711
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: a lot of money, so not at all, especially when you.

712
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: Have a lot of the still the same bills that

713
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 2: you had when you were generating your regular income.

714
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 3: Those bills don't just go away because you don't get.

715
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 1: A discount on your mortgage just cause although that would

716
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: be maybe we should run for office and put that

717
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: in place.

718
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 2: Right, a discount for your electricity bill, for your gas bill,

719
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 2: for you watch all those things because at a certain point,

720
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 2: like the income is just not there, it's.

721
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 3: Just not coming in.

722
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

723
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Well, I think talking with your siblings, and you

724
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: also mentioned that you've added a couple of your siblings

725
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: to the account as well so they can get access

726
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: to it. Just in general, getting all the account and

727
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: like logins and all the financial records for your parents

728
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: is such a pain in the ass, but very helpful.

729
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: Like my dad always jokes that we have we have,

730
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: we have everything on him that we could, like we

731
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 1: can steal his identity. It's true. I can tell you.

732
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: You know, if you're calling my dad, you're not talking

733
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: to him, you're talking to one of us. If you're

734
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: emailing him, you're emailing us.

735
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 2: Like that's good because the number of scams that are

736
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 2: being used against seniors is at an all time high.

737
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 1: So we really do have to switch on that part

738
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: of your brain that's like, Okay, I am the protector

739
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: now it's not. It's no longer than protecting me, Like

740
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 1: we need to be looking out for them, and that's

741
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: a hundred.

742
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 2: Percent especially scarier now with AI and all this tech

743
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 2: like they can they can mimic your voice, Mandy and

744
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 2: call him and say Dad, I need to and he

745
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: thinks he's talking to you because they re routed the

746
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 2: number to look like it's coming from your phone number,

747
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 2: and they use an AI voice generator to sound like you.

748
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 3: So now we have to be extra.

749
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 1: Vision negative visualization. Y Ellie, are stressing me out.

750
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 2: I'm not saying I'm gonna have it. I'm saying it could.

751
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 2: Because of technology.

752
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: We got to protective girl, we have dad.

753
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 1: You saw that movie with that with that blondecheck Rose

754
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: something where she steals older people's homes. It's like she's

755
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: wearing a yellow pant power suit. I don't know what

756
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 1: the evil Oh, it's so evil. It's sadistic.

757
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's the thing people have, No they have

758
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 3: no shame. They don't care.

759
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 2: I have a good friend here in Miami. She has

760
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 2: a nonprofit that where she helps incarcerated families stay in

761
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 2: touch with people when they're incarcerated because so their families

762
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 2: write letters and they, you know, help families deal with incarceration,

763
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 2: not just the incarcerated person, but also their family. And anyway,

764
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 2: it's a beautiful nonprofit. But when she was in prison herself,

765
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: she was there for like eighteen months, and one of

766
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 2: the things that happened to her was she was in

767
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 2: a cell with this woman who went to prison for

768
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,479
Speaker 2: stealing money from older people, and this woman told her everything.

769
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 2: She was like, yeah, I was like essentially saphoning money

770
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 2: for like over a decade from this older lady.

771
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 3: She was super wealthy. She had no idea. I would

772
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 3: just take a little by little by little.

773
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 2: She wouldn't noticed, and eventually her kids kind of had

774
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 2: a hunch that something was if you was fishy, was

775
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 2: going on and they stepped in and investigated and figured

776
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 2: out what I was doing, and that's why she ended

777
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 2: up in prison. And it's like, imagine how many situations

778
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 2: like that so we have. I know, it seems a little,

779
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 2: i don't know, a little deranged and to be like, no,

780
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 2: you have to be overprotective. But I just really do

781
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 2: feel like when it comes to our parents and grandparents

782
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 2: we have at this point in this day and age,

783
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 2: with AI and tech and everything available now, we gotta

784
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 2: be overprotective.

785
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: And I hate to say it, but they're very lucky

786
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: to have you a trustworthy daughter not all the kids

787
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: in the family are always trustworthy and you are like family,

788
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: you know, isn't it still that identity? Theft typically comes within,

789
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 1: like your family, easy access all that. So I like

790
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: the idea of having multiple eyeballs on it. And I mean,

791
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: you have to develop trust with your siblings and know

792
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: which ones can't be trusted and you love them, but

793
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 1: you know, like you said, you know their flaws and

794
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: all of that. I think that that's not the nicest feelings,

795
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: right I know my son right now, I mean like

796
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 1: he can't be trusted. He went to my mom's house

797
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: and purchased he's there right now. He purchased a whole

798
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: set of wooden trucks on Amazon. I was like that

799
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,720
Speaker 1: that that is that's fraud for you. It's an elder scam.

800
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 3: Oh my mom, he got that one click by he said,

801
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 3: click click click.

802
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: Oh he's only five, homeboy can read now he's dangerous.

803
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 2: Oh bye now, yes, smam, buy it right now.

804
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 1: I have all the apps on my phone with us

805
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,240
Speaker 1: require face to unlock.

806
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, purchase to anything.

807
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,839
Speaker 1: You gotta watch out. He can't be k trust none.

808
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: None of them young kids know what you.

809
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 3: Need to tell him. Is now you owe grandma this

810
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 3: money and you have to work. You have to work.

811
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: You have to cancel the order.

812
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 3: Oh good, good good.

813
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 2: You got to scare him straight. You got to be like,

814
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 2: how are you going to make two hundred dollars? Let's

815
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 2: now we have to talk about it. What are you

816
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 2: going to do because now you have to earn two

817
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 2: hundred dollars to pay for this, because Grandma's had to

818
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 2: pay for the money.

819
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 3: Got to come from somewhere. He I bet you he'll stop.

820
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 3: I bet you he'll stop.

821
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: I know. I should get his uncle to like come

822
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: in his cop car and just like with a badge.

823
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 3: Oh this is illegal.

824
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:05,879
Speaker 2: No, you don't got to go that far, baby, not yet.

825
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 2: Maybe when he's like thirteen, but five years old. Now,

826
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 2: just scare them, stray go. You gotta pay for it.

827
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 2: You bought it, you gotta pay. You buy it, you pay.

828
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 1: You gotta sell some toys from your room. Let's go sell.

829
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 1: Let's go sell your bike. Are you gonna raise this money?

830
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 3: And figure it out?

831
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 2: You got to take the trash out. You gott to

832
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 2: mop the floors, you gotta clean your room. You gotta

833
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 2: start working and this out.

834
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: They earn this path, the toilet seem all of it.

835
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 2: No, but one thing I will add I think in

836
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 2: terms of like managing it, there is one thing that

837
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 2: I do that is a little bit time consuming, a manual.

838
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,319
Speaker 2: I do it like every few months, which is I

839
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 2: have a spreadsheet in Google docs or Google Sheets, and

840
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 2: I shared it with all my siblings so they all

841
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 2: have the link. Everybody can access it, and it has

842
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 2: multiple tabs along the bottoms for each year so that

843
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 2: we've been doing this so they can see. What I

844
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 2: do is like I actually just document everybody's contributions, who

845
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 2: paid when, how much we funded, how much we added

846
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 2: to the account, how much the balances, and what our

847
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 2: goals are. So everything is kind of like in the sheet,

848
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,240
Speaker 2: just as a high level overview, because I know everybody's

849
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 2: not going to be able to log into the account

850
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 2: and see everything that happened, so I just kind of

851
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 2: I want to document everything in case anybody ever, you know,

852
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 2: wants to kind of see, hey, what happened last year?

853
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 2: How much did we say or what did we hit

854
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 2: or it. Sometimes my siblings will say, like, like I

855
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 2: had one sister who was like, oh, I need to

856
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,879
Speaker 2: pause contributions for a little while and then I'll kick

857
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 2: back in. But she's like, you know, in the process

858
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 2: of getting a house, all the cond stuff going on,

859
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 2: So if that happens, like again, I just document it

860
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 2: in the dock. I'm just like, okay, pause contributions for

861
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 2: these four months, pick back up over here, like so

862
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 2: that it's all.

863
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 3: There and everybody just kind of knows.

864
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 2: It's not necessarily to like put all the business out there,

865
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 2: but more so for accountability, for everyone to know that

866
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 2: this stuff is recorded somewhere and we can always go

867
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 2: back and see what happened when, and that.

868
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 3: Way they know, you know, there's a place to go

869
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 3: to look at it.

870
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 2: Because when you have like legit investment accounts that are

871
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 2: managed by wealth managers or what have you, they will

872
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 2: send you quarterly statements and they will send you an

873
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 2: overview and a highlight of what happened and the fis

874
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 2: that you were charged and when money moved in and out,

875
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 2: and so I just kind of think it's important to

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00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: have one home base where everyone can.

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00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:03,320
Speaker 3: Go to take a look.

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00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: So that is just a spreadsheet and I just manually

879
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 2: updated it like every couple months.

880
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: Well, girl inspire me to be a better daughter. Let

881
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: me go kick my dad a couple bucks, buy yourself

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00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: something nice. Thank you Jan Nelly for taking that question.

883
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 1: Thank you Candace for sending in your question. Ba Fam.

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00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 1: We are always happy to get your questions. You can

885
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 1: DM me at Brand and Bishon Podcast on IG or

886
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 1: you can email me directly Brandabission Podcast at gmail dot com.

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00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: We'll see y'all next Friday for another Baqa Hi Bye,

888
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 1: okay va fam. Thank you so much for listening to

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00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: this week's show. I want to shout out to our

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00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 1: production team, Courtney, our editor, Carla, our fearless leader for

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00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: idea to launch productions. I want to shout out my

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00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: assistant Lauda Escalante and Cameron McNair for helping me put

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00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: the show together. It is not a one person project,

894
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 1: as much as I have tried to make it so

895
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,919
Speaker 1: these past ten years. I need help, y'all, and thank

896
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: goodness I've been able to put this team around me

897
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: to support me on this journey and to y'all be

898
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 1: a fam. I love you so so so so much.

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00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 1: Please rate, review, subscribe, make sure you sign up to

900
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: the newsletter to get all the latest updates on upcoming episodes.

901
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 1: Our ten year anniversary celebrations to come, and until next time,

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00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: talk to you. Soon bea bye.