WEBVTT - Are Men Mostly Looking For Sex In Chapter Two? 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:16.239 Welcome to I Do Part two, and it's your real 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:17.600 life mentors. 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:19.200 People single just like you. 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:23.560 It's mister Wright and my partner Louise, and today we're 0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:25.799 gonna do something fun. We're gonna take a bunch of 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:28.800 hot topic questions and kind of see as men and 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:31.520 women where our answers differ and where they. 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.480 Actually might line up. 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:36.440 And just to keep everything fair, we have producer Heather 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:39.199 that's going to be a referee. She's gonna make sure 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:42.200 we stay on time and on topic and make sure 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:46.320 that we are giving our best versions of these answers 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:49.599 with the most honesty direct us, even if we may 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:50.559 not agree. 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:51.519 This is perfect. 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:55.680 I'm happy to jump in and I'll ask you guys 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:59.520 the questions and then you'll give your honest responses. So, 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:03.600 mister Wright, we'll kick it off with you who should 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:07.960 text first? After you meet someone new. I'm going to 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:10.080 put twenty seconds on the clock. 0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:11.760 Well, I think it's going to be the guy. 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:14.760 And you know, I don't want to steal Louise's line 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:17.400 from earlier, but you know, chivalry is not dead, and 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:18.320 I think it's kind. 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:20.200 Of stole my line. Mister Wright. 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:23.200 This is my twenty seconds. This is either throw a flag. 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:24.240 He's fiery. 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:29.119 I think it's the guy's responsibility to make that first 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.400 leap and to reach out perfect. 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:32.640 That was twenty seconds. 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:33.640 There we go. 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:37.280 Okay, so, Louise, twenty seconds on the clock, you give 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:38.000 me your answer. 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:43.959 I one hundred percent feel that across the board, the 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:47.920 guy should absolutely text first. It's how I'm raising my sons. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:52.400 And I know you know, obviously different generations have different perspectives, 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:56.200 but I strongly believe now that we're sharing our line, 0:01:56.640 --> 0:01:59.040 mister Wright, that chivalry is not dead. 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:01.960 Perfect right within twenty seconds and you agree with the 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:02.600 dating game. 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:03.240 Wow. 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:05.480 This is a quick follow up though, and I'm not 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:07.440 going to put time on this, but I want to 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:11.680 know though. Okay, so does that mean you know you 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.080 exchange numbers with a guy either he asks for yours. 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:21.160 A woman should never be the first one to initiate conversation. 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.680 That was so great or here's the picture I took 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:26.880 of us that was so fun meeting you out on 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:30.800 the golf course today. Like, no, you both made faces 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:32.360 just now. I know nobody can see this but me, 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:34.400 but you both kind of made faces when I said that. 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:35.480 No, listen, I'll. 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:37.520 Say if there was something pertinent, If there was something 0:02:37.520 --> 0:02:41.560 that happened that would make the woman text first or 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:42.760 reach out first, go for it. 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:43.400 I don't. 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:45.400 I'm just thinking if it's a stalement, you walk away, 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:47.760 you're both kind of grinning, you're both kind of happy 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.160 with what happened. I think if it's an even even, 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:51.960 I think the guy I should go first. But if 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.800 you know, if the woman has something to say, or 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:57.399 something to respond, or something to spark it, I think 0:02:57.400 --> 0:02:57.840 go for it. 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:02.000 I still feel whether you meet somebody in person at 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:05.040 a bar, or somebody puts you on a group text 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:07.880 because they're setting you up, I just really feel it 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:11.000 should be the guy who does kind of the first outreach. 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:14.360 It just shows what a gentleman he is, and I 0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:16.280 think it shows you know, how he's going to treat 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:20.520 his lady, just the time and a place where you know, 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:23.200 kind of the female could be the one who takes charge. 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:28.640 Use your imagination, but I do feel the guy, especially 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:33.080 in the beginning, it's important to kind of create those roles. 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:35.360 Okay, interesting, interesting take. 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:39.920 Okay, so our next question is how long till you 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:44.440 reach out after you've had that first date Again, I'm 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:47.240 going to go with a strong twenty seconds mister Wright, 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:47.960 take it away. 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:50.920 Okay, so this is not chapter one, this is not 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:54.160 the whole wait two days, wait three days, wait a week, 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:56.840 wait a month, whatever it is. I think that especially 0:03:56.840 --> 0:03:59.720 if the date went well, I'm texting that night, I'm 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:02.280 taxed on the way home, make sure you got home safe, 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:05.400 call me later, whatever it is. But we're not messing 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.680 around chapter two. We're giving up on the on the 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:09.880 polite waiting. 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:11.360 Twenty seconds, mister Wright. 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:15.120 Good, I totally agree with you. You can tell we have 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:17.760 all been around dating long enough to know that when 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:20.040 you're on a date and it's a click and you 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:21.720 know you're going to go out again, and it's an 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:25.240 energy between two people, there is no waiting. It's kind 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.000 of like you already know when you're going to see 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:30.840 that person while you're sitting on the date. They say 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:33.800 text me when you get home, or they're reaching out 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:35.679 and saying did you get home, And I've had guys 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:37.960 call me and we talk the entire way home. 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:38.800 Perfect. 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:42.360 We're at twenty seconds, Louise, Okay, amazing. I love that 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:46.280 so far we're fairly aligned both as men and women 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:50.000 and single. So I like this Okay, Louise, let's have 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:53.800 you take this one first, biggest red flags you think 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.640 there are when it comes to men, and I also 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:59.400 want you to tell me the biggest red flags you 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:01.560 think they're are for women. 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:03.200 I have more than twenty seconds. 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:05.280 Please, Yes, I was gonna say, we'll give you more 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:08.320 than twenty for this one. Let's say, mister Wright, Okay, say, 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:11.680 let's do thirty five seconds. So give me a couple 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:14.440 of red flags for men, couple of red flags for women, 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:15.000 and go. 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:19.760 Biggest red flag for men. Talks horribly about the mother 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:24.360 of his children. Number one. Number two talks horribly about 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:30.120 every girlfriend. Number three cheater. Number four is a strange 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:34.920 from his children. Number five is a strange from his family. 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:36.240 Twenty seconds. 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:40.599 Number six has no friends from different chapters in his life. 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:42.599 Give me some red flags for women, Louise. 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:45.599 Red flags for women. A girl who gets so dressed 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:48.120 up on the first date that it's like she's going 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:48.719 to the prom. 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:50.919 Okay, and that's thirty five seconds. 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:56.760 Okay, okay, all right, So mister Wright, same question. I 0:05:56.760 --> 0:05:59.479 want you to give me red flags for men and women. 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:01.880 I'm putting thirty five seconds on the clock when you're 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:02.640 ready go. 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:05.839 So red flags for men is if they don't introduce 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:09.200 you to their friends. Guys can be very very honest 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:13.680 around each other, and sometimes if you're not meeting the 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:17.240 guy's friends, big red flag, big red flag, if you're 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:19.720 not going to go see the guy's house or where 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.799 he lives or kind of like what his situation is. Also, 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.719 I think a little bit of a red flag for girls. 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.640 I think what I have to agree with Louise, and 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.920 one thing, if they're talking poorly about their ex if 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:34.679 they're talking poorly, you know, like just about their past 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:37.800 relationships and that's still hanging over them like a cloud. 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:39.040 They're not over it yet. 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:41.479 That's thirty five, thanks mister Wright. 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:44.840 Okay, you're getting in there a lot of information. 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.720 I like these. Okay, Louise, this one's for you. 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:53.119 Then we'll go to mister Wright best places to meet 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:57.960 people if you're over thirty five and under sixty five. 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:01.440 So we'll do let's to thirty seconds on the clock 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:03.320 for this one and go. 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:06.640 I think it's really hard. There is really no red onion, 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:10.000 which is a reference for our generation back in the eighties. 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:12.680 I would say that it is so rare that a 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:16.000 guy will come up to a table anymore of girls 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.880 or even send over drinks in Los Angeles. It happens 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.520 more in New York and Chicago. I think if you 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:23.920 really want to go meet somebody, the only place to 0:07:23.960 --> 0:07:27.560 go in Los Angeles is Balltaire, maybe a couple places 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:30.080 in Malibu. But I think it's actually really hard to 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:31.480 meet people in person. 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:34.920 Okay, that was thirty seconds, mister Wright. 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.480 Same question, Where are the best people to meet in 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:42.960 real life? Under over thirty five, under sixty five and go? 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.800 So I think it's usually going to be something you'd say, 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:47.960 bars or restaurants or whatever else, and that can always 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:48.520 sort of happen. 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:50.520 But I think, you know, charity events. 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:52.960 I think, you know, like community events where people are 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:54.720 kind of a line and you are going to find 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:56.520 people that kind of think similarly as you. 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:58.320 I think those are great places to meet. 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:01.080 Charity events that you're right, that's a good one. 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:03.960 And then I think that you know, there's also you know, 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.560 like the gymnasium, you know, or the or the golf 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:09.040 course or places like that where people being active. That's 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:12.480 what you're into going and do and being somewhere doing 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:14.600 something that you like to do. You're going to probably 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:17.440 find somebody that's similarly aligned. 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:19.920 Like a running club actually, or exactly. 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:22.600 Any it's yoga class, you know, plates, whatever those things are. 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:25.160 That's something that turns you on as an individual. You 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:29.080 hopefully find somebody else that's equally energized by the same activity. 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:29.480 You know. 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.120 It's actually a fun place to beat people is at 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:36.040 car rallies. That's actually a fun place to talk to people. 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:39.040 I've met a lot of people there at like classic 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:41.600 car shows or like or like in Malibu, they have 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.440 a whole car crawl or different things. It's kind of 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:46.280 fun on a Sunday, just like casual. You go down, 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.079 you grab a coffee and there's like people with their 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:49.760 cars and just everyone billing about. 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:54.120 Okay, cool, cool, all right, mister Wright, take this next 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:57.360 one first. Do you have to tell people when you're 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:02.680 dating that you're dating other people? I am going to 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:08.120 give you twenty seconds for this one and go all right, Heather. 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:10.040 I think for sure you need to be upfront and 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:12.040 honest about what your situation is. 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:14.520 If you're dating around. 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:16.880 I think you owe it to that person if it 0:09:16.920 --> 0:09:18.280 comes up to tell them. I don't think you have 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:19.800 to come right out and say you're one of four 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:20.600 people that I'm dating. 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:21.960 But I think that if it comes up. 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:24.160 You say yes, you know I am dating, and then 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:28.200 similarly as if it gets serious, you can let them know. Also, hey, 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:30.920 I want to be exclusive. And that I think is 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:35.640 that honesty will help launch hopefully a good relationship and 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:39.160 not tarnish it. If someone finds out accidentally that you 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:40.760 aren't dating multiple people. 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:45.280 Smart, okay, that's time. Uh, louis same question. 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:49.360 I think in the beginning, isn't it understood that people 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:52.840 are dating other people until they kind of find their unicorn? 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:57.360 And then I feel that kind of organically I found 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.280 that it morphs into more of an exclusive situation suation, 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:04.240 And I also think for me, I'm not sleeping with 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.040 somebody unless we're exclusive. 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.840 Well, let me ask you this because you bring up 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:11.040 a good point, and I think it's important to talk about. 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:15.120 You said, isn't it understood that we're seeing other people? Well, 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.440 I think in the modern day dating world, I want 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:23.199 to know from you too, are you going to get 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:27.280 hurt more likely if you're not dating multiple people in 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:31.040 your chapter two and only dating one person at a time. 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:35.360 I think chapter two is an opportunity to try a 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.000 bunch of different things on. I think that no matter 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:42.040 what age you are, getting hurt is a reality. And 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:44.520 to quote my dad, better to have loved a little 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:48.160 than never to have loved at all. And it's just 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:50.080 part of the game, right, And that's how you know 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.720 something feels really good because you've experienced the bad. 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:55.400 All right, So I'm going to different and disagree a 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:58.720 little bit, like you know, this just made my personality. 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:00.280 But I want to find one person. 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:02.520 And yes, you might have to date multiple people to 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:05.480 get there, but for me, like the outcome is to 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.600 try and find the person. And that's what I'm working 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:11.400 through right now, is to find the person. But it 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:13.079 might you know, it might take that you go on 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:15.840 you know, multiple dates whatever. But I think I can't 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:18.280 date multiple people at the same time. That's just not 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:20.080 I wouldn't be able to go out with somebody on 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.560 Monday and then somebody else on Wednesday and somebody else 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:24.400 on Friday. I just don't think I would be my 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:27.320 authentic self. I think I would be worried about you know, 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:29.000 like what I'm saying, how I'm saying it. Am I 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:31.800 coming up across too strong? Am I misleading anybody? So 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:33.880 as much as you want to keep I would like 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:37.800 to keep options open. I think that really I would 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:39.960 only be able to date one person at a time. 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:43.760 I agree with you. But let's say some a friend 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:45.240 of yours was going to call you up and they 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:47.400 were going to say, mister Wright, we have a couple 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.319 of girls who want to introduce you to or different 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:51.600 people want to introduce you people. So you have a date, 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:54.240 you know, a drink on a Monday, a coffee on 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:56.839 a Wednesday. Like, you don't know if you're going to 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:59.960 like Monday, So why wouldn't you at least try Monday 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.960 and then try Wednesday and if you like one of them, 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:05.280 then you go out a second time. But like the first, 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:07.959 the second time like we're just getting to know the person. 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:13.280 So and we kind of know if somebody is special 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.440 and there's a real connection. We've probably been on enough 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:18.160 dates each to know. And yes, we all want to 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:19.520 find our unicorn Dred. 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:22.280 Mister Wright just said something interesting. He said, that's not 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:26.960 dating to me. So you mean when you're seeing somebody 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:29.960 on a more intimate level is when you consider it dating, 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:30.520 mister Wright? 0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:32.599 Yeah, I mean I think I think going to a 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:34.520 coffee or having a drink with somebody. I don't think 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:36.959 that's dating, you know, if it's if it's the first 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.040 time or even the second time, but if you're making 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:42.640 concerted efforts, we're going to be seeing each other. You know, 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:46.040 we're going to see each other regularly. I couldn't just 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.280 me personally. I couldn't have multiple people that are regular 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:50.360 dates that are. 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:50.840 Going you know that. 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.000 I'm meaning, you know, I couldn't go on vacation with 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:55.480 somebody then go, you know, have dinner with somebody else. 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:58.480 I think that once you start leaning in, yes, you 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.920 know I would, I would tip over if. 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:03.880 I totally agree. I misunderstood. I thought you meant in 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:06.640 the beginning of when you're just first meeting people, But 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:08.800 when you start to really like somebody and you've gone 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:12.040 out of them two, three, four, five times, then for me, 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:15.120 that falls under the category that's kind of authentically morphing 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:19.000 into an exclusive situation. So for me, I just kind 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:21.800 of get the sense that we're both in it and 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.480 we want to see where it goes. So therefore it's 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:27.480 kind of lights out on, you know, dating other people. 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:39.520 I want to go back to something you said, Louise, 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:42.720 because you said you don't sleep with somebody until you're exclusive, 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:44.520 which everybody has. 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:46.600 Their own preferences when it comes to that. 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:53.199 So you're saying, though roughly it's we're going out four 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:57.800 or five times, you know, and you've had the conversation 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:02.040 with them ahead of time, saying I'm not seeing anybody else. 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.480 I need to know that you're not seeing anybody else 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:05.439 before we move to. 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:06.319 This next chapter. 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:10.600 There's never any Let's try it out, let's see where 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:14.440 this is going, and then we talk about exclusivity after. 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:18.280 I am not sleeping with somebody unless it's exclusive, okay, 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:20.680 And I mean to be a total pain in the ass. 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:24.040 I make somebody and request somebody to get an STD test, 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:24.920 which I'm happy. 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:25.960 To do, too great. 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:28.600 And I haven't ever had one person say no to me, 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.480 not once, and if they did, that would be a 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:32.240 red flag for me. 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:34.520 No, you could have used that a red flat earlier, 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:36.280 Luise the STD test. 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:36.360 No. 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:38.480 I think that probably in this modern age that you know, 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:41.720 we're all adults, and I think that you know, asking 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:43.720 something like that. I think you also talk about, you know, 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:46.320 for guys like have they had of a sectomy? Like 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:48.720 have they you know, like like what's their outlook on 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:50.200 children like their children. 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:52.560 Depends what age you're dating, mister, right. 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:53.560 It totally does. 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:56.360 I mean some people, it doesn't matter if you have 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:57.880 a sect to me, let's let's go. 0:14:57.840 --> 0:14:59.840 Into one to that. What what do you mean by that? 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:02.560 If they're younger older. 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.760 If the girl is younger, you know, right, then she 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:10.400 can get pregnant, right, But girls that are a bit older, 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:13.200 that's just not even a reality, right. 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:16.000 Yes, yes, but that's still I mean, I guess the 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:20.000 conversations just become more mature. I suppose in this chapter 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:23.040 two where you are asking kind of more serious questions 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:24.280 about you know, not. 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:26.440 Just you know, STDs and would you be willing to 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:27.440 take a test? And you know. 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.480 But I think really kind of like life planning and 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:33.280 kind of all those things I think can come up 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:35.840 a lot earlier than they do in your chapter one, 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.800 which I think is just a sign of maturity. 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:39.640 I think it's a sign. 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:42.040 Of being a little bit older and more kind of 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:45.120 set in your life. And I think those are important 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:48.840 questions to have before you know, relationships get further along. 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:51.120 Well, let me ask you, does it come up sooner 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:55.680 in chapter two? Not necessarily always because of maturity because 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:59.200 maybe in their marriage they weren't getting any and they 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:02.240 want to get off to the races pretty quickly. In 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:04.600 this next thing, they're chomping at the bit to get 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:08.080 some action. We've heard that before from other people. They've said, 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.720 you know, some from a man's perspective, they have said, 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.040 you know, some men are really all about having sex 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:16.640 as soon as they get divorced because they weren't getting 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:20.520 any in their marriage. Have either of you either experienced 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:23.000 that or heard that from friends in chapter two? 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.320 I think for me my experiences is the people that 0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:29.320 I did are typically my age, are a bit older, 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:31.880 and they're really looking for a companion. And I think, 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:34.480 really what the conversation is not about the sex part. 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.960 It's more about, you know, are you able to, once 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:41.040 you've been set in your ways, merge a life with 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.520 somebody else, and what does that look like? Does the 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:47.480 person live long distance? You know, what's the work schedule 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:50.120 for both people, what's the commitment with taking care of 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:53.720 elderly parents. So it's really more about a time situation, 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:56.560 like I was dating somebody out of state and we 0:16:56.640 --> 0:17:00.840 had a harder time figuring out the schedule ultimately, And 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:03.480 it's not about the sex, because the sex comes if 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.000 you're attracted to somebody and you know it can happen 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:08.680 right away, it can happen a few dates down the line. 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:12.800 It's more about can our lives merge? And as we 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:17.240 get older, we realize everybody has emotional wounds. And what 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.320 it comes down to also is does your baggage line 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:23.159 up with my baggage? And you see that pretty quickly 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.160 on as you're getting to know somebody. 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:27.280 Well, I'm going to have to disagree a little bit here. 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.720 Maybe that's just you know, from being from the from 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:33.160 the guy side, I think there's definitely a stronger attraction 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:38.040 and looking for sex and for you know, some kind 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:40.680 of passion and all the things that probably weren't there 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:44.600 in the relationship previously, especially as it was dying and 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:48.160 as it was heading toward divorce. And so I think 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:52.680 that there is a big need at least initially for 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:55.160 a connection romantically. 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:58.119 Well, any of course it does, you have to feel attracted, 0:17:58.280 --> 0:17:58.600 but I. 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:01.600 Think that guys probably are driven more by that. 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:04.639 Again, I can't say from a woman's perspective, but I 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:07.720 would imagine that guys are probably even more driven by 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:11.480 that because you know, that's it's just it's it's the 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:16.560 guy's unfortunately sort of the guy's nature, and and I 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:20.679 think that that there is probably more propensity to be 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:23.320 drawn to somebody that is going to be willing to 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:25.280 match that same sort of sexual energy. 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:30.160 Ah, mister Wright is talking maybe a little bit about 0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:33.800 why men in chapter two ten to go for younger women. 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:38.760 Is that why because there's there's less less things on 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:44.199 their plate, they you know, have maybe less inhibitions. Is 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:47.359 I've also heard that men tend to go for younger 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:52.040 women in chapter two because men identify themselves at that 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:54.920 at that when they are going through the divorce, as 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:57.520 the age that they were when they were entering into 0:18:57.560 --> 0:19:00.960 the marriage. So that's actually meant to where they still 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:03.840 feel that they're at, which is why they tend to 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:06.480 go back and revert to a younger age when they're 0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:10.400 dating in chapter two. And not asking you specifically, mister Wright, 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:13.359 if that's your experience, but have you seen or Louise, 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:15.959