Speaker 1: Milk has all the knowledge you want, has all the
Speaker 1: knowledge you need. Yet they have all the books that
Speaker 1: the whole wild world one up read Malague Books.
Speaker 2: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to Malik's Books, bringing a.
Speaker 3: World together with books, culture and community. Hi, my name
Speaker 3: is Malik, your host of Malik's Bookshelf. Well, let me
Speaker 3: tell you this is going on. What's going on this week?
Speaker 2: Because we got a big, big event that's coming up
Speaker 2: February third, were kicking off our Black History Week with
Speaker 2: Common at Malite Books.
Speaker 4: Now he's gonna be there at three.
Speaker 2: You got a RS repeat This is a private, exclusive
Speaker 2: book signing, So you got a RS repea at malikbooks
Speaker 2: dot com and register for this epic event.
Speaker 4: What Common is coming to Malik Books Now?
Speaker 2: You know Common is an Emmy Award winner, He's a
Speaker 2: Grammy Award winner, he's an Oscar Award winner, and he's.
Speaker 4: A Golden Globe Award winner.
Speaker 2: He's also an activist and an author and his new
Speaker 2: book is out Called. And then we rise a magnificent
Speaker 2: day of celebration as we bring in the new year
Speaker 2: with an epic, iconic person, a good person coming to
Speaker 2: Malague Books. And then that's right common in his new book.
Speaker 2: And then we rise a god to living.
Speaker 4: And taking care of self. So you got an RSVP
Speaker 4: for that, but it's just not comment taking place.
Speaker 2: Listen, we got a inaugural Black history event.
Speaker 4: That comment is the headline, no doubt.
Speaker 2: But from twelve to five, we are celebrating a epic
Speaker 2: event that we are corporate at the Westfield Coach who's
Speaker 2: the sponsor of this event in partnership with Malik Books
Speaker 2: and the l Merk Park Book Fair. Listen from at
Speaker 2: twelve o'clock we're kicking it off. We got authors and
Speaker 2: let me just go down the list.
Speaker 4: Listen. Listen.
Speaker 2: We got authors, we got book giveaways. We got Corey Weathers. Look,
Speaker 2: she's the daughter of Bill Wellings. She's gonna do a
Speaker 2: reading of her book, well, her dad's book, which is
Speaker 2: called Grandmm's Hands, and she's gonna do a performance along
Speaker 2: with that. You know that entertainment runs in the family.
Speaker 2: So Corey Weather's gonna be of participating at a one
Speaker 2: point thirty and doing a reading. But at twelve o'clock,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm gonna do the welcome. Then after about
Speaker 2: twelve third, we got poets coming up.
Speaker 4: We got somebody named Teresa the song wor coming all
Speaker 4: the way from a lot to dropping her poems at
Speaker 4: our festival.
Speaker 2: And she's author a book called You So Black, So
Speaker 2: this is epic man.
Speaker 4: And we got Sandra.
Speaker 2: Sandra Buchannan who also is the author of a book
Speaker 2: called Black and and she's a Poet Award winner and
Speaker 2: she's gonna be dropping her performance at our event as
Speaker 2: well as the.
Speaker 4: Charles Small three to old Jazz band. Oh, they got
Speaker 4: two sessions set up. This is gonna be I think.
Speaker 2: We got Josoh the Bozo, the clown coming to this
Speaker 2: event to entertain our kids. Balloons, face painting, bubbles, you
Speaker 2: name it. She's gonna be reading stories to our kids.
Speaker 2: We got African dance, We got afrik We got a
Speaker 2: youth assembly of drummers coming. African drummer They youth and
Speaker 2: they gonna come set it off at twelve o'clock as well.
Speaker 2: And then we also got some African dancers, the Transfiguration
Speaker 2: African drum Line, that's what they call and the Shine
Speaker 2: African Dancers.
Speaker 4: They're gonna be there as well.
Speaker 2: We got Stephanie Owens, who authored the book of Female
Speaker 2: President and Lose Too. You know, she's an independent author,
Speaker 2: so she's gonna be and we got guess what. We
Speaker 2: got Sparky and not lead White, the vice president of
Speaker 2: l A Spark.
Speaker 4: Sparky is the mascot for the LA Spark. He's gonna
Speaker 4: be there giving out books. That's right. We got two.
Speaker 2: Thousand books that we're gonna be given away, sponsored by.
Speaker 4: You know, Westfield Covid City. More so we get giveaways.
Speaker 2: And let me tell you, we got the first black
Speaker 2: female who is the new mayor of Covid City. That's right,
Speaker 2: the first black female mayor, Jasmine mcrony.
Speaker 4: Macronan Jasmine Macronin.
Speaker 2: Who is the first black female mayor of cod City,
Speaker 2: is gonna be at We're gonna honor her.
Speaker 4: She's gonna be at the event around three.
Speaker 2: So we got d R the performer, the producer of
Speaker 2: my hit Deep some Elique. Well, this don't perform just
Speaker 2: before Common does his book signing. So we got a
Speaker 2: I mean, we got an assembly of excitement and fun
Speaker 2: for the whole family. It's in a community event. We're
Speaker 2: curating this throughout the whole malls. It's gonna be center
Speaker 2: Court downstairs at Westfield Clova City Mall and Common is
Speaker 2: gonna be inside Elik Books right upstairs from Center Court.
Speaker 4: So you go to Milik.
Speaker 2: Books dot com and register for the commedy. The rest
Speaker 2: of the event is free. It's a public, free event.
Speaker 2: But we on February third, starting from twelve to five.
Speaker 2: Now Common is his The highlight of this event is
Speaker 2: at three so RSVP at Melik Books. So that's the
Speaker 2: excitement because you know, I say, Malik Books bringing the
Speaker 2: world together with books, culture and community.
Speaker 4: This is community, this is community. So you got to
Speaker 4: come on out.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be licked, that's right, and it's fun for
Speaker 2: the whole family. You know, I'm very appreciative of being
Speaker 2: able to partner with people like the Westfield, Coche City
Speaker 2: Mall and le Mert Park Book Festival. And so we're ready,
Speaker 2: it's going down. It's less than a week six days
Speaker 2: from now. You got to come through and we celebrating
Speaker 2: and we're doing the book signing and were comment exclusive
Speaker 2: books signing and then we rise a god to loving
Speaker 2: and taking care of yourself, all right, and so moving on,
Speaker 2: moving on, moving up. This segment is about friendship, all right.
Speaker 2: I poured my heart and my thoughts out in this episode.
Speaker 2: No names involved, but it's about friendship and it's about
Speaker 2: me personally and some trauma or or things that I'm
Speaker 2: dealing with in my life and friends that are not
Speaker 2: showing up.
Speaker 4: So I'm I'm talking about friendship on here. I'm I'm
Speaker 4: hurt about a couple of things.
Speaker 2: So hey, hey, hey, this is life and things are
Speaker 2: not always gonna go the way we want and we
Speaker 2: do feel and we do feel pain. So I did
Speaker 2: this little segment to talk about, you know, trying to
Speaker 2: you know, talk about know what is friendship and what
Speaker 2: does it mean? And does people, if you friends, do
Speaker 2: they need to show up at moments in your life
Speaker 2: when you need them as well as they need you.
Speaker 2: So you know, friendship is not a one way things
Speaker 2: as a it's a relationship and so it's reciprocated and
Speaker 2: it's it's not a one way thing. And sometimes I
Speaker 2: know a lot of my audiences on the relice bookshelf
Speaker 2: can relate to this because they probably have situations like
Speaker 2: this where they put all in and they get no
Speaker 2: return on it, and so you got to question, you know,
Speaker 2: what kind of relationship is that like? And it changes
Speaker 2: over time because we grow and we change, so things
Speaker 2: don't always stay the same. And don't think that, you know,
Speaker 2: we live in the world of changing movements all.
Speaker 4: The time, so nothing stays the same.
Speaker 2: People grow and they change, and so then you know,
Speaker 2: you can start out close one day and then fall
Speaker 2: apart and not be close, or you go your separate way.
Speaker 2: It's just it, you know. So you you know, we
Speaker 2: gotta question those friendships along the way as they you know,
Speaker 2: evolve and change. And so that's what I'm doing in
Speaker 2: this episode is heartfeeling. I'm opening up personally and I'm
Speaker 2: talking about, you know, something that's important and near to
Speaker 2: me and what I'm dealing with. And so I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna share my insight of what you know, I'm had
Speaker 2: to deal with in terms of a friend.
Speaker 4: So here it is. You know, enjoy this episode.
Speaker 2: Thank you for being a Lie listener or Relice bookshelf
Speaker 2: and sign up and register for the inaugural Black History
Speaker 2: event this Saturday, February third at inside the Westfield Code
Speaker 2: City Mall and Malik Books. All Right, peace, enjoy the episode.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to you about something that's been on
Speaker 1: my mind that i should share with my podcast. It's
Speaker 1: called reciprocating, it's called brotherhood, it's called mutual relationship, where
Speaker 1: it's a give and receive.
Speaker 5: This something that I've been just talking lately about.
Speaker 1: Going into the twenty twenty four and examining relationships that
Speaker 1: are toxic or elevating. And some of our friendships, some
Speaker 1: of our relationsationships that we have can be one sided,
Speaker 1: and you find yourself being on the giving side all
Speaker 1: the time, but never receiving. And I've had relationships friendships
Speaker 1: like this, and you got to ask yourself, is it
Speaker 1: worth it?
Speaker 5: I think that there are.
Speaker 1: A standard or scales that can determine whether or not
Speaker 1: it's worth it. For example, are they showing up when
Speaker 1: something horrific or stressful or polarizing happen in your life?
Speaker 1: Is this person showing up for you like you show
Speaker 1: up for them. Is this person there to consult you,
Speaker 1: to console you, to be there f as a shoulder
Speaker 1: and as someone you can talk to and lean on
Speaker 1: and get advice and counsel You know, the question is
Speaker 1: you know this is a way you can determine whether
Speaker 1: or not this person is worth it or not worth
Speaker 1: you putting all that energy over and over and over
Speaker 1: and they.
Speaker 5: Not showing up for you. I'm just talking experience.
Speaker 1: I'm talking real issues, real life matters here where you
Speaker 1: have death in your family and you don't get no call,
Speaker 1: you don't get You know a lot of people these
Speaker 1: days they wanna tax something on social media.
Speaker 5: You know the adequacy. But here's the thing. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: If it's a family member, or if it's someone that's
Speaker 1: close to you, I think the standard is different than
Speaker 1: someone that is just an acquaintance.
Speaker 5: A true friend shows up a true friend.
Speaker 1: If you gotta a full bowl of suit, they'll give
Speaker 1: you half of that suit. That's a true friend. All
Speaker 1: family members ain't true friends. All family members wouldn't share
Speaker 1: that half a bowl of suit. So just because you
Speaker 1: might have blood doesn't necessarily mean that person gonna show up.
Speaker 5: For you because they family.
Speaker 1: But God always create circumstances and conditions to reveal your
Speaker 1: true relationship. And all I'm saying is, if you're putting
Speaker 1: everything in and that person doesn't reciprocate, ask yourself with
Speaker 1: that friendship worth it? Maybe you need to downgrade that
Speaker 1: to an acquaintance. Maybe it's started out, you know, years
Speaker 1: and decades of you being close and you doing everything together,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden things just changed. I
Speaker 1: had a friend. I'm not gonna say I had a friend.
Speaker 1: I have a friend. Let's talk past. I have a friend,
Speaker 1: and I have to question whether or not this relationship
Speaker 1: is what it is.
Speaker 5: Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Every time I've leaned on this person for something, they
Speaker 1: never come through for me.
Speaker 5: Now we judge.
Speaker 1: Things by more or less meaning that and when I
Speaker 1: if I say that this person doesn't never show up
Speaker 1: for me, doesn't mean that one or two times in
Speaker 1: our lives that they didn't.
Speaker 5: But what I mean is about consistency.
Speaker 1: Consistency is the key, because that's the reality stability. You know,
Speaker 1: nothing is successful unless it's consistent. So who you are
Speaker 1: is what you are consistent. So if you constantly consistently
Speaker 1: don't show.
Speaker 5: Up, then you don't show up.
Speaker 1: So don't try to hang on to a few incidents
Speaker 1: in life that you might have.
Speaker 5: You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But the question is we all faced with circumstances and
Speaker 1: conditions in our lives to create trauma, grief, disappointment, frustration, confusion,
Speaker 1: and ultimately.
Speaker 5: Hurt, pain, And at.
Speaker 1: Those moments we look for people that love us, that
Speaker 1: care about us to show up, to say a kind word,
Speaker 1: or just to be present, they give a shoulder. Anyway,
Speaker 1: you know, I have a dear friend. I mean we
Speaker 1: did everything together and I consider him a brother. I
Speaker 1: could sit in him, someone whom is more than just
Speaker 1: a person whom that I just know when you have
Speaker 1: bonded on all levels mentally, physically and spiritually. So anyway,
Speaker 1: their incidents that have happened that has cost distance between us,
Speaker 1: I I reached out to 'em. You know every year,
Speaker 1: you know, track and field is a very expensive UH sport,
Speaker 1: and I reach out to my family and friends UH
Speaker 1: and do fundraisers.
Speaker 5: You know, we encourage that.
Speaker 1: You know, each one helped one, right, So anyway, over
Speaker 1: the years, it's not that I can't do it, but
Speaker 1: it's it's just you know, we try to raise funds
Speaker 1: for our team and for and we go to family
Speaker 1: and friends and we try to raise money. So over
Speaker 1: the years I would do that, particularly for the just
Speaker 1: the Junior Olympics. So anyway, we sat down, not set down,
Speaker 1: but you know, I'm doing my fund raising and and
Speaker 1: you know I'm making my loved ones, family friends to
Speaker 1: support and guess what I I this person whom I
Speaker 1: thought would be very supportive. D I consider a brother
Speaker 1: and more than just a brother. Uh, since to me,
Speaker 1: I don't believe in.
Speaker 5: Charity.
Speaker 1: That kind of blew me away because he made a seen.
Speaker 1: He made me feel like I was asking him for
Speaker 1: a handout.
Speaker 5: You know, we throw away.
Speaker 1: Twenty dollars on bs all the time. We throw away
Speaker 1: money on frivolous things all the time, even when we
Speaker 1: don't have much money. What I'm saying this is, you know,
Speaker 1: over a decade ago. But the thing is, I didn't
Speaker 1: expect for him to say that. And when you're fifty
Speaker 1: years old, I'm not gonna waste time trying to convince
Speaker 1: this person that I don't agree with what he's said,
Speaker 1: because he's entitled to say what he said and believe
Speaker 1: the way he believed. But it was so hypocritical and
Speaker 1: contradictor because I watched this person bad people for money.
Speaker 1: Did he an't even know when he was, you know,
Speaker 1: on a pole pit in different arenas.
Speaker 5: But yet I come to him as a brother.
Speaker 1: And at this time I believed that I was going through,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe some hardship.
Speaker 5: But the point is I went to someone I thought.
Speaker 1: Was my brother right, I believe was my brother. He
Speaker 1: didn't offer anything but said to me, I don't believe
Speaker 1: in charity. Are there other sources that you can go
Speaker 1: to to get money? At that point, you know, I
Speaker 1: felt a certain way, but hey, rejection is part of life,
Speaker 1: so I move on. But what I had to do
Speaker 1: was redefine this relationship because he didn't show up for
Speaker 1: me and it was unexpected.
Speaker 5: But anyway, let me move on.
Speaker 1: So then, hey, this is my opportunity to talk to
Speaker 1: my order about some real life stuff. You know, this
Speaker 1: is my opportunity to talk about my heart and how
Speaker 1: I feel about certain things.
Speaker 5: I've kept this in for a long time.
Speaker 1: I have not had I've tried to have this conversation
Speaker 1: when but sometimes you just move on in the right time.
Speaker 5: It's just not there.
Speaker 1: But anyway, my beloved friend son was murdered, I mean murdered.
Speaker 5: And.
Speaker 1: Three years they went by, I had not talked to him.
Speaker 1: His son was murdered. I didn't think about the past.
Speaker 1: I showed up at his house to give embrace him
Speaker 1: and give him love and to show him, man that
Speaker 1: I'm here and that I'm I'm available. And I know
Speaker 1: this is a horrific time, right, So at that moment,
Speaker 1: it wasn't about yesterday.
Speaker 5: It was about now.
Speaker 1: It was about being present, it was about being available,
Speaker 1: it was about being you know, a brother.
Speaker 5: He's hurting, dish, horrible.
Speaker 1: So I showed up. Didn't want to talk about yesterday.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about now. What can I do to make
Speaker 1: you feel better? I know that it's not much because
Speaker 1: only time can heal those kind of wounds. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so after that, you know, we hung out. We talked
Speaker 1: over a few times over the a few years. But
Speaker 1: I would always call and he would never be available,
Speaker 1: would never answer his phone, he would never call back.
Speaker 1: So I just stopped calling again. I just stopped calling again.
Speaker 1: I said, I said, wow, if you.
Speaker 5: Brothers, listen. I look at it like this. Let's say
Speaker 5: you working on a job. Let's say you.
Speaker 1: Have a superior and he email you or calls you.
Speaker 1: You gottas respond in a timely matter. Otherwise its consequences.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying, There's consequences. So I looked
Speaker 1: at it like, man, this is unprofessional, you know. I
Speaker 1: look like I'm like, I feel like I got to
Speaker 1: bring my brother on charges of being unbrotherly. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, I'm following a court order on the
Speaker 1: grounds that you're being unbrotherly because you're not following up,
Speaker 1: you're not responding, you're not checking.
Speaker 5: Anything can happen.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm telling this story because I'm getting this
Speaker 1: off my mind and my heart, and I'm talking to
Speaker 1: my audience and I'm sure some of y'all can relate.
Speaker 5: And you got people in your life like this.
Speaker 1: So what happens is I call I mean, listen, you know,
Speaker 1: it's two sides of every story.
Speaker 5: I ain't here to talk about his side.
Speaker 1: I'm here to tell you my side, and I'm here
Speaker 1: to tell you my hurt and my pain and what
Speaker 1: I feel you understand. And the thing and here's the
Speaker 1: thing is that so now a bunch of like two
Speaker 1: a year or so went by them. We ain't talked
Speaker 1: again because he don't follow through, he don't call back,
Speaker 1: he don't listen, you know, And that right there, it's
Speaker 1: a problem to me.
Speaker 5: Now, I ain't trying to you know, like.
Speaker 1: A wee can go by and hit me by, but
Speaker 1: you never hit me back, you never call And I
Speaker 1: keep calling. You know what they call you no when
Speaker 1: you are doing when you you know, it makes you
Speaker 1: feel like you a bet.
Speaker 5: You know the word be right. You know when you were.
Speaker 1: One just calling this person and it ain't never responding,
Speaker 1: and it's now it's turning you into making me feel
Speaker 1: like man, am I his be am, I.
Speaker 5: His be This dude can't call me bye. That's how
Speaker 5: I'm feeling. I'm like man.
Speaker 1: So anyway, my wife's mom died, didn't show up for me,
Speaker 1: didn't come to the service, didn't even call me, never
Speaker 1: came to the house, didn't shore at all at all
Speaker 1: to to.
Speaker 5: Our funeral service for my wife's mom.
Speaker 1: Someone I love, someone that's been in my life for
Speaker 1: over a decade. People show up for you. He ain't
Speaker 1: got to know her, he know me, and he ain't
Speaker 1: sure for me. And that was a very painful time
Speaker 1: because my wife was hurt. I mean, I ain't never
Speaker 1: seen that kind of pain on my wife and I
Speaker 1: had to deal with that and that was painful for me.
Speaker 5: That was painful. So if I could get some support,
Speaker 5: some love from my brothers.
Speaker 1: That's a great thing. That's a great thing. Didn't show
Speaker 1: it for me at all.
Speaker 5: I charged this brother for lack of brotherhood. You stay
Speaker 5: with what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Then on top of that, like I said, at that point,
Speaker 1: it was no need for me to call him. There
Speaker 1: was no need for me to t continue to try
Speaker 1: to make this relationship because it ain't one It's one sided.
Speaker 1: He don't show me no love, no brotherhood. He ain't
Speaker 1: there for me when I need. And I love this guy.
Speaker 1: You understand. I love this guy. So that's why I hurt.
Speaker 1: Then on, then let me tell you what he did. Well,
Speaker 1: let me tell you what happens after that, and not
Speaker 1: what he did. All right, So my wife mom dies,
Speaker 1: all right, So two years later he loses his mom.
Speaker 1: He loses his mother. And let me tell you something
Speaker 1: about that. I used to go to her, Bobby. She's
Speaker 1: one of the first black archbreneurs that I that I
Speaker 1: knew there was a strong black woman and had it
Speaker 1: in the heart of Watts and wasn't afraid and was fearless.
Speaker 1: And everybody in there and gave me respected her. And
Speaker 1: we used to all go to her, to her barber shop.
Speaker 1: And no, she had more than a Bible, she had
Speaker 1: a Bible school. She was a black woman, strong archpreneur.
Speaker 1: I loved her. I didn't know the impact that she
Speaker 1: put in me until you know, I had to sometimes
Speaker 1: think and said, man, what was these black woman is
Speaker 1: an examples in my life? And she was one, my
Speaker 1: mother is one, my grandmother's one. But these are you know,
Speaker 1: these three black women. I realized that I seen and
Speaker 1: noticed that had an impact in me being an entrepreneur.
Speaker 5: These three strong black women, my beloved friend's mother, my mother,
Speaker 5: and my grandmother. And then she passes away.
Speaker 1: I called him, I showed up at his house.
Speaker 5: I showed up at the funeral.
Speaker 1: I preciprocated what I never got from him.
Speaker 6: And my wife's mom passed away.
Speaker 1: He didn't show up for me, but I showed up
Speaker 1: for him, and I didn't show up for him, and
Speaker 1: I showed her for his mama, to pay my ultimate
Speaker 1: respect for her because.
Speaker 5: She was a pillar and an influence in my life.
Speaker 1: So once again, you know, we you know, time goes on,
Speaker 1: he goes back to the same and I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: he probably do that to a lot of people, but
Speaker 1: I ain't. I ain't gonna accept it, and I ain't everyone.
Speaker 1: I don't care what he do to everybody. I care
Speaker 1: about how he treat me and how you treat me.
Speaker 1: Ain't ain't acceptable how he don't follow up on his
Speaker 1: calls and don't get back with me and check it.
Speaker 1: You could die tomorrow, you understand, he he you know.
Speaker 1: So I'm not accepting it. I'm not accepting inappropriate behavior.
Speaker 1: I'm not accepting these excuses like I ain't gonna accept
Speaker 1: uh h. I could love you, but not love your ways.
Speaker 1: You understand everything about us ain't always right and people
Speaker 1: need to call you out on your stuff.
Speaker 5: You understand. So anyway, I ain't accepting it, you know.
Speaker 5: So anyway, time went on.
Speaker 1: You know, I call, he take a long time to
Speaker 1: keep days weeks to call back if he do at all.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. But it is what it is.
Speaker 1: So I'm moving on or whatever. But here, here's the ticker.
Speaker 1: Here's the ticker. We were walk good. I'm just accepting
Speaker 1: him in his space in this place, but know to
Speaker 1: protect myself because if it's a time of need, he
Speaker 1: ain't gonna show up for me. And so but hey,
Speaker 1: I accept you as you are. So Hey, you know
Speaker 1: our friendship we're still there. I don't know if we
Speaker 1: that kindred spirit anymore, but I love him. It ain't
Speaker 1: gonna change it's because of all of that. I love him,
Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna put that kind of energy in
Speaker 1: this no more because he don't show it for me.
Speaker 1: So anyway, my mother passed away. My mother passed.
Speaker 6: Away, and everyone sent their love and condolence, accept them,
Speaker 6: never called, never showed up.
Speaker 1: Now my mom is in Washington, d C. So I
Speaker 1: don't expect them to travel back there. But I don't
Speaker 1: think it's much to ask for a call. I don't
Speaker 1: think it's much to ask for him to follow up,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: See, because and he knew, he knew, because other people in.
Speaker 1: Our same circle knew, and they sent their condolence, So
Speaker 1: I knew he knew.
Speaker 5: He knew, he knew. I ain't got the call to
Speaker 5: tell him. Oh, by the way, mom died. You know
Speaker 5: what I'm saying. He didn't have to call and tell
Speaker 5: me that his mom died.
Speaker 1: Wein in the same circle. It gets around, right, So
Speaker 1: guess what he had show up for me? And it's
Speaker 1: now he ain't called me. He ain't show up. Not
Speaker 1: asking for no flowers, not asking for no cars, but
Speaker 1: be present, be available at the moment. This is a
Speaker 1: grieving time for me. Then show So my bottom line
Speaker 1: is first time a dog bite you. Basically, you might
Speaker 1: give a past the first time, but the second time,
Speaker 1: that's on you.
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So, Hey, I'm realizing this is who he is. He
Speaker 1: ain't showing up for me. He probably ain't showing up
Speaker 1: for a lot of other people. But maybe it's I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I know one thing. I don't even
Speaker 1: can hold somebody accountable for what I feel I deserve,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: So he ain't show up for me, and my mom passed.
Speaker 5: You see what I'm saying. So then I guess.
Speaker 1: Five months later, here's the teacher and this is oh Man.
Speaker 1: Five months later, I lose my sister, my big sister.
Speaker 1: I don't have a big family. I only have a
Speaker 1: brother and a sister, and my sister is one year
Speaker 1: older than me. I lost my big sister in the
Speaker 1: holidays December, cause I lost my mom in June of
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. I lost my sister December of twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three. So within five months, I lost two major pillars,
Speaker 1: two major people in my life. And I had to
Speaker 1: go back to bury my sister because I'm the big
Speaker 1: person out of the house. So no, I post all
Speaker 1: social media, and he commented.
Speaker 5: On social media about my loss.
Speaker 1: Right, didn't call, but as come from made he knew alright,
Speaker 1: never commented on my mom, but he knew, he knew.
Speaker 1: He commented, alright, that's fine, but that's all it was.
Speaker 1: Didn't call. Ain't like this brother didn't know my sister.
Speaker 1: This is the same guy that during the Million Man
Speaker 1: in March, we all went back in nineteen ninety five,
Speaker 1: stayed at my mother's house. He knew, he knew my mother,
Speaker 1: He's talked to my mother. Didn't show it for me
Speaker 1: at all, he knew my sister, didn't show up for
Speaker 1: me all no call, no consoling, no shoulder, no brotherhood,
Speaker 1: no freship, left me all out there. He followed me.
Speaker 1: But when his mother and his son died, brother Lee
Speaker 1: showed up. Brother was dead.
Speaker 5: What you need so I don't get that same reciprocation.
Speaker 5: I charge him with lack of brotherhood.
Speaker 1: Then on top of this, check this out, and I'm
Speaker 1: venting you know what I'm saying to my audience, why
Speaker 1: because this is real stuff and you going through it
Speaker 1: right now, You got people in your life around they did. Wait,
Speaker 1: they they don't reciprocate. They out there. You know, you're
Speaker 1: putting in all the work and they're not giving back.
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of relations to husband and wife,
Speaker 1: brother and sister and just friends. And you gotta ask
Speaker 1: yourself as you get older, to pursuit of peace and happiness,
Speaker 1: and you can't let someone disturb your peace, cause it
Speaker 1: comes listen, when people don't hold up to a stand
Speaker 1: that you put in place, are not available there emotionally
Speaker 1: for you at a time of need. And this disappointment
Speaker 1: come in is disrupt your piece. This disrupts my piece.
Speaker 1: So I got to vent to get it off my chest.
Speaker 1: I can't talk to him. He ain't a and it's
Speaker 1: just and now it's not even the time to talk
Speaker 1: about it. I'm gonna tell you why now. I just
Speaker 1: buried my sister June sixth of twenty twenty four, had
Speaker 1: to go back there. But on June fourth, on June fourth,
Speaker 1: we're in the same circle.
Speaker 5: I find some horrible, I mean horrific news.
Speaker 1: That my brother, my beloved brother's son, committed suicide.
Speaker 5: Let me say that again.
Speaker 1: My beloved son committed This brother has now lost two sons,
Speaker 1: two sons.
Speaker 5: I knew his kid.
Speaker 1: When he was a baby. We used to go out
Speaker 1: in Vegas. I knew his child.
Speaker 5: I'm in DC to bury my son.
Speaker 1: I find out that this brother's son committed suicide.
Speaker 5: I felt that. I felt that because that's the kind
Speaker 5: of heart I got.
Speaker 1: I didn't call him right away because I had to
Speaker 1: think about a lot of things because of what has happened.
Speaker 5: But I wanted to be there for his son. Why
Speaker 5: because I knew.
Speaker 1: Him when he was yet a baby. His twenty six
Speaker 1: year old son committed suicide. Because I was still in Maryland.
Speaker 1: There was no where I was gonna make the funeral
Speaker 1: that they had the following week because I was still
Speaker 1: there in Washington, DC, Maryland handling in my affairs. So
Speaker 1: they sat today and I wasn't gonna be able to
Speaker 1: make it. But had I been home, I would have
Speaker 1: been there because that's the kind of person I am.
Speaker 1: I would have been there because I need to pay
Speaker 1: my respects. I knew that I knew his son, so
Speaker 1: I would have been there, but I wasn't in town.
Speaker 1: But I reached out when I was ready. When I
Speaker 1: was ready, I reached out to him about to send
Speaker 1: my prayers and my condolence.
Speaker 5: I reached out.
Speaker 1: I put it all aside that he ain't called me
Speaker 1: for my wife's mom, he didn't call me and consult
Speaker 1: me for my mom, that he didn't do anything consult me,
Speaker 1: follow up and communicating me about my sister.
Speaker 5: Three people, he didn't reach out. Do you know, I
Speaker 5: felt some kind of way. But despite that, I.
Speaker 1: Called him four times, four times. Ask me if he
Speaker 1: answered the phone, ask me if he called me back.
Speaker 1: He didn't answer the phone, he didn't call me back,
Speaker 1: and I called him four times. I've done my duty.
Speaker 1: I've done my I've said my piece. I've done the
Speaker 1: brilliantly thing. This is what I believe loved them despite
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, turn the other cheek. I
Speaker 1: believe in this moment I've done that.
Speaker 5: And I'm not saying this.
Speaker 1: To pat myself on the shoulders or nothing. But certain
Speaker 1: things show you who you are, as it shows other
Speaker 1: people who they are. So he didn't call me back,
Speaker 1: he didn't asker the phone. So at that point, I
Speaker 1: think he feels some kind of way. That's my thinking.
Speaker 4: Do I know?
Speaker 5: I don't know, but yet, you know, but I think
Speaker 5: he feels some kind of way. I'm not anybody. I'm
Speaker 5: not anybody.
Speaker 1: Because I know that that no matter what, ain't gonna
Speaker 1: change the fact that we've done everything together for decades.
Speaker 5: So once again, time has revealed.
Speaker 1: Unseen and circumstances within a friendship, a relationship, things can
Speaker 1: be one way this decade in another another decade. And
Speaker 1: that's what I just have to except I I'm always
Speaker 1: gonna love the brother because we got too much history.
Speaker 1: But it come with a lot of pain in a
Speaker 1: lot of years. It come with a lot of disappointment
Speaker 1: in a lot of years. But life goes on. What
Speaker 1: don't care, you make it stronger. So this is my story,
Speaker 1: this is my hurt and pain. But the most important thing,
Speaker 1: I'm thankful that I still have people that love me
Speaker 1: and show up for me, and when others don't, I
Speaker 1: can't sit there and complain.
Speaker 6: And allow that to ride my joy.
Speaker 1: People showed up for me when Mama passed. People showed
Speaker 1: up for me when my wife's mom passed. People showed
Speaker 1: up for me when my sister passed. When we had
Speaker 1: to shirt have people coming, Man, can't My brother came
Speaker 1: all the way from Pennsylvania to come down. He didn't
Speaker 1: even know my mother, but he showed up for me.
Speaker 1: Man the time and need, show up for people when
Speaker 1: the time and need, be present for people when the
Speaker 1: time of need. It's a lot of people hurting and
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, but you need to be there. You
Speaker 1: need to be available and you need to show up.
Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying. And if it's anything or from
Speaker 1: this story of what I've had to go through.
Speaker 5: I hope it help you deal with what you're going through.
Speaker 1: Find the joy and the happiness no matter what, and
Speaker 1: don't let nobody take that. I can't let him stop
Speaker 1: my joy just because he don't show up for me.
Speaker 1: I can't let that disappointment that I feel for him
Speaker 1: not being available emotionally for me.
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying. That's him, you know what
Speaker 5: I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But I got to be present for me and I
Speaker 1: have to love the joy that I got in my life.
Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying. You know, God is good, Life
Speaker 1: is good. What don't kill you and make it stronger.
Speaker 5: This is the you know, the part of life. I
Speaker 5: call it lifing. This is lifing.
Speaker 1: It's up and down like a heartbeat, but its joy
Speaker 1: is laughter and its happiness despite whatever we go through.
Speaker 5: So I hope you enjoyed this story that I brought forth.
Speaker 1: It's not a necessary story, but I opened up and
Speaker 1: gave you a part of me, a part of my history.
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed it and learn something from it.
Speaker 5: May God bless you Happy New Year.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to Maleak's Bookshelf, where topics on the
Speaker 2: shelf are books, culture, and community.
Speaker 4: Be sure to subscribe and leave me a review. Check
Speaker 4: out my instagram at Malak Books. See you next time.