WEBVTT - Episode 304: Dummies Get Caught (feat. Lil Mo) 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:04.240 What's ladies, It's time for Woman on Tap with Delhian 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:05.720 to kill us. So we are going to give a 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:07.920 toast today to my angel Cody. Now, she has a 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:10.799 new documentary out is called The Third Strike, and it 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:13.520 follows her. She works with her all women's team of 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:17.200 attorneys and they're working to a free men who have 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:19.120 and women who have been in card serrated because it's 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:21.760 a third strike rule. So basically, these are non violent 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:24.360 drug offenders who have been sentenced to life in prison. 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:28.080 So far, she's gotten over forty people out and she's 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:31.040 one freedom for seventeen federal prisoners who have been unfairly 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:34.080 sentenced to life without parole for drugs. That was all 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:36.919 during the ninety Days of Freedom campaign. You know that 0:00:36.960 --> 0:00:39.960 because after Kim kardashi ain't got behind that. She was 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:43.040 using her own money, right, because it does cost money 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:46.440 to actually get these things done as an attorney, and 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:48.600 she was trying to get this funded. Nobody was really 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.280 coming on board to help, and then Kim Kardashian stepped in. 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:53.640 So I know people would say Kim Kardashi into credit, 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:55.800 blah blah blah, but really what she did was bring 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:58.840 more attention to the work that my angel Cody was doing. 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:00.840 So I just want to give a toast to her 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:03.480 and make sure that everybody checks out the Third Strike 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:07.280 documentary as she works with the Decarceration Collective that's her 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:10.319 organization to make sure that these people who are serving 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:14.360 life sentences without parole for non violent drug offenses are 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:18.200 being treated uh and getting out because it's important. You know, 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:20.480 they haven't done anything wrong. It's the third strike. It 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:22.440 could be just a marijuana and now you gotta go 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:24.680 to jail for life. Meanwhile, people who've done way worse 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:27.720 things are getting out before you, which is ridiculous. And 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:30.240 you know, when you watch the documentary, it also shows 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:33.040 how that tears people's families apart once they are released, 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:35.280 or what they go through while they have a loved 0:01:35.280 --> 0:01:37.160 one that's in prison that's not there to hold it 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:40.040 down in the household. How families suffer because of that. 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:42.759 So we want to give a toast to you, my angel, 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:46.920 for all the amazing work that you have been doing. Cheers, Cheers, 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:52.000 What's up? What's up? Is list service? I'm angela Yee, 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:58.480 I'm Jig mcguarire, I'm Laurial, and I'm a little you know, 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:02.200 is definitely like one of the members of Live Service already. 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:05.000 So and it's sound nice to see you. Good seeing 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:07.720 you too. I know it's been it's been some time, ladies, 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:13.840 but everybody looks amazing. Y'all look good. You look everybody. 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:17.680 Remember I'm in Philly, in Atlanta, I'm in Baltimore. You 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:23.680 know good that damn Mountain technology. So let him know. 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:26.920 How is everything gone with you? I know you know, 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:28.799 last time we talked to you on the Breakfast Club, 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:30.800 you talked about a lot of different things that was 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:34.560 going on, and then we heard your song, you know, Heartbroken, 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:38.120 So let's get into it. I released my single broken 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:42.480 Heart or my Daughter's Birthday February one, and I did 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.240 it at a time it was just like, you know, 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:47.200 the pandemic was going on. Everybody was on the house arrest, 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:50.640 everybody was on punishment. Everybody knew. Here. If somebody could say, oh, 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:52.560 I went to the pandemic and I ain't go to nothing, 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.160 that I want to know what you had and are 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:57.720 you bottling it up and selling it? Because everybody that 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:02.440 I know that I personally know, emotionally and mentally had 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:05.320 the light like yo, you didn't know what was going 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:09.480 on for me. From my standpoint was we were literally 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.080 on tour. I had three tours set up. It was 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:14.200 like set it off, Feminine four, and then I was 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:17.400 doing a little mo show, just doing shows and stuff, 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:20.840 and it was like literally booked for the year. So 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:23.160 when we got the cart, they was saying, yo, you 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:25.400 gotta get back, you know, to the East Coast. I 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:27.280 was in l A. We were shooting me and the 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:31.080 Femine Forward Girls with Heather Lowry and am Read. It 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:32.520 was it was like a lot of us. We were 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:36.080 literally shooting the cover for the Femine Forward Vibe. And 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:38.400 I've been going to l A X for over twenty 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.240 years to go to the airport and nobody be there. 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.560 I thought the world was coming to it. And and 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.040 I'm gonna tell you I was scared. You know. That 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:48.320 movie was that movie where they shot in l A 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:50.080 where the world came to it, And I was like, 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:54.240 oh my god, my luck is so bad. I'm gonna 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:57.120 be the one that just tell my kids I love them. 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:01.040 But butet when I you from l A still had 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:02.760 to fly to New Orleans because they was like, well, 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:06.240 we're gonna still do the play. Set it offline and 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:08.680 I'm just like, well, they're talking about the world's coming 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.119 to and everybody needs to get around their loved ones. 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:14.840 Everybody wear mask spray. I didn't know what was going on, 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:18.040 so it was like, we're gonna halt for two weeks. 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:20.000 Two weeks turn to two months, two months turned to 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:22.080 six months, six months turned to a year. So in 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.880 between that I still had to be little mo because 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:28.680 for everything was virtual. Then I became a virtual school 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:32.520 teacher with my kids. That was the hardest part of 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:37.960 it all. We got a lot of kids. It was 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:41.640 like because my older my older daughters, I have one 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:43.680 that's eighteen in college and one of sixteen that said 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:46.400 old honists, so I literally don't have to worry about them. 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:48.360 But my twelve year old son, my eight year old son, 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:50.839 and my five year old that started kindergarten. When I 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:53.800 say I look at celebrities on social media, were like, 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:56.159 how come their kids are so good at mins? Beyond 0:04:56.200 --> 0:05:02.080 deem it time. We was literally in therapy at the 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:07.560 beginning of the pandemic as well as still continuously. You know, um, 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.200 you know, you just have your meetings and follow ups. 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:12.919 Because I was like we're close and were family, but 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:17.200 we never been this compact and kid go nowhere. You 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:18.960 know what's crazy about all of that? Right, because you 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.880 talked about your kids, you talked about work, but what 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:25.840 about you personally? Because obviously I know, like little Mo, 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:28.320 you always have seemed so strong to me, like outward 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:31.560 me just everything that you've done in your life and 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:35.159 that stil woman. You know, not seriously but like we 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.680 don't really hear you too much as talking about like 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:40.840 your vulnerabilities. And like we said, you know you did 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:44.039 have a broken heart, So what was that like during 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:47.040 that time? Because the pandemic did also give us a 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:50.479 lot of time to just think, Yeah, the pandemic and 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:54.279 my broken heart. Honestly, I use this time to heal. 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.960 And this was the best thing that I could say 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:00.919 happened to me in my twenty years plus being a 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.680 little mouth. Because since I was fifteen, I've always been 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:06.719 on tour my uncle if John p. Key, so I 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:09.359 taught on the gospel circuit while I was in high school. 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:11.279 I used to bray hair during the week and going 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:14.000 toward during the weekend. Then after that I went to 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:16.720 New York and I told with Guru and Primo and 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:19.560 his team when they did Jasmine task. So I was 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:22.760 seventeen eighteen nineteen on tour. Then after that I went 0:06:22.839 --> 0:06:25.320 on told missy Ellie. Then after that I was told 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:30.159 everybody else. So I literally my ass down for twenty 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.960 something years. So having to sit down for a year, 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:35.200 you I'll have a baby and be out before the 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:47.400 six weeks shots, so don't let nobody and I never 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:51.080 chanced to sit my ass down. But when it got 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.120 to the point where I had to sit down, I 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:55.760 got to know myself more. What I like, I'm glad 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:58.880 that I'm single. I'm glad that I'm no longer addicted 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:02.080 to opious, Like this is a blessing. I'm getting my 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:05.279 glow bank, so that healing process, like I needed to 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:08.400 take the band aid off, so the wounds and the 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:12.440 scars and everything that actually heal, because it's one thing 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.120 to come out of something. But then you know you're 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:17.200 just like, Okay, I'm not doing this no more. It 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:20.400 always has to be something to replace what you're taken away. 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:22.480 So if you take away something negative, it has to 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:26.160 be replaced with the positive. So honestly, I'm like still 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:28.440 healing because they're still triggers. I'd be like, nah, yo, 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:31.560 I'm still with the ships. Right at the end of 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:33.760 the day. I know how to conduct myself and I 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:35.600 know how to carry myself more. And now I know 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:39.600 what my hand calls for, so I expect more because 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:43.360 I don't accept everything anymore. There you go, Well, what 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:46.320 was the finest job when when it really takes you 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:49.800 to leave? Because I remember watching Celebrity Rehab, I mean 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:58.600 Celebrity um marriage because it's like, yeah, people marriage boot 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:01.360 can and I lifted. I watched it religiously and I 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:04.000 didn't even watch the show before that, and I watched 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:06.960 it because of you mainly. And there were certain things 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:10.280 that happened done there right now that like when we 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:13.280 thought we were like mo running you know what I mean, 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:17.160 and you stood and even after you even got shown 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:21.440 certain things, you still stood. So what was the final 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.840 thing that you just was like, listen, I can't take 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:26.520 this no more. I'm leaving. And how did you stay 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:29.920 so strong to stay away from this situation? Well, I've 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.679 been whe I was leaving. But when you're filming that house, 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:36.160 ain't no where you could run to literally in the 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:38.480 middle of no where. Your phone, don't your work out there. 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:40.960 You literally have to stand in that kitchen by the 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:43.600 door with the wildfires because its office is back there 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:47.840 and it's cameras everywhere, so I had nowhere to go. 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.360 But honestly, that was a great part of my life 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:54.680 that showed me, like I had to say to myself, buch, 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:58.439 do you know who you are? Like, stop acting like 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:00.520 you gotta pick up trash up the street taking home 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:02.240 and clean it off and act like it's a treasure. 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:04.839 You feel me, that's the only thing that come out 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:07.360 from you. Ain't gonna go through that ship bit. Like 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:10.040 I had to really have a heart to heart with myself, 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:12.480 And when I looked back at some of the footage, 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:16.840 I was like, oh, no, I know I was hot, 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:21.760 I smoking hello week because to me now the clean, 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:26.360 the sober, the lidi me, nah, it's not happening. I know, 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:29.920 the alcohol everything played a fact and me just being 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:34.079 so nauseou like okay. I basically honestly, when I look 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.200 at it, I got my check, but I didn't have 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:40.880 my respect until I stood on like okay with the show. 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:43.959 Because after that week we did the Breakfast Club interview, 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:45.599 Everybody's like, well, I thought everything was I was like, no, 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.280 was fighting in the car for we got there, but 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:50.640 I had to the show had an air, so I 0:09:50.679 --> 0:09:52.640 had to put on a front. But I was like, 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.840 I'm tied a front tick Like I feel like he 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:58.000 was so bold, And what I'm talking about specifically was 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:01.160 when he was on the phone talking to another woman 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:03.760 and tried to say it was like becausin or something 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:05.960 like that, but he was buckled because he knew that 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:08.920 the cameras was right there. What do you think, Like, 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.199 did did y'all ever talk about that that made him 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.959 think that what they wasn't film in at that particular time. 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:17.480 I think that because you're in there and when you 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:21.600 it's almost like a pandemic. You can't go anywhere, so 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:24.199 you forget that. Oh shoot, you think that because y'all 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:26.959 rerap production for the day, you'd be forgetting that them 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:29.080 cameras is everywhere. You think that, oh they don't have 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:31.120 it on us, because it was so much going on 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:34.560 in the house, you honestly forget. But at the end 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:36.720 of the day, you gotta know the blind spots because 0:10:36.760 --> 0:10:45.280 everybody was up to some ship. But don't get caught 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.760 looking at my whole nigga over here. But yeah, that's 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:51.920 all I'm just like you don't know you're on the 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:57.480 balcony and not you not to balcony. You gotta know 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:01.120 how to you mean. But at the same time, it 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:03.520 was like I knew what was gonna I didn't know 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.520 he was gonna play out or pan out. But when 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:10.280 they presented me with the information, because the way they 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:13.680 were so I would say sensitive to they knew what 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:16.200 I was dealing with. Now, doctors would pull me to 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.839 the side and dr ish literally. So he said, as 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:21.400 soon as you realize who you are, you're gonna change 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:24.440 the world and it's gonna start with gets. And I 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:27.760 was like, Okay, what do you mean by that? They 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.080 was trying to say MO like, oh my god, we 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:33.439 can't tell you to leave the situation, but we can 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:37.160 encourage you to love yourself more So, I honestly was 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.199 thinking I was loving myself because I was like, well, 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.520 I get my hair done, I keep these nails, did 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:44.520 I keep these brows? Wax? I keep this COUCHI you 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:47.000 know what I'm saying. Together, I didn't you know. I 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.160 was all living. But at the end of the day, 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:52.880 was just like inside a broken heart and you're trying 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.640 to smile through it, and you have kids and you 0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.160 still have to please the world, but you don't even 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:02.400 like yourself or the image that is being put out there. 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:05.400 It has to be everybody has a breaking point where 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.000 you like, enough is enough. And I'm pi that I 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:11.880 had my enough is enough moment before y'all be like damn, 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.800 like more was like before I lost myself, before I 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:17.280 went to fire. And that's so too, because no one 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:19.560 can make you leave when you're not ready to leave. 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:22.080 Anybody could tell you leave him, and we've all done 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:24.480 that with our girlfriends where we're like, why is she 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:27.000 still with him? She need to leave him. But until 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:28.880 a person is ready to leave, it no matter what 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:32.319 you say, and even even in work relationships, like I'm 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:35.240 watching a lot of things play out right on social 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:38.680 media with people in work situations where it might be 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:42.760 you know, harassment, it could be abusive situations, and it's 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.120 really hard when you don't have support and you feel 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.559 like you're by yourself if you try to do something. 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:51.400 This person has so much power that nothing's gonna happen, 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:53.920 and you can speak out and say whatever, but nobody 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:55.400 is gonna be there to be like, you know what, 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.320 she's right, and then you do speak out and you 0:12:57.360 --> 0:12:59.839 get attacked and people act like something's wrong with you, 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.679 as I just feel like and I remember you said 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.000 it was just a breaking place where he's actually spent 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:08.600 on you. Yeah. The day we got back from the 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:14.040 West Coast August twenty six or seven, twenty eighteen, because 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.600 the show came out in twenty nineteen, like we were 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:18.160 like as soon as we get back, because the kids 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.320 haven't seen us for like thirty days. My daughter said 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.800 came down, my niece that came down, and my nieces, 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:24.720 my twins. So I was so excited for me to 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:26.079 be there. And it's like as soon as we land, 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:29.240 we're having a family day. Everybody was hyped up lending kids. 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:32.600 We still went out, but that person ain't show up, 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.400 and so I'm just like, Yo, what the hell going on? 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:38.880 Like this this weird? Like bro, we all have the 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:40.880 details because they give you a couple of days before 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.920 you fly back home to like kind of get back 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:48.400 to yourself because it's honestly, it's so intense. You're just like, yo, 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:53.600 I really need to breathe. So when the family day 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:55.760 was just with me and the kids, I was like, Nah, 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:59.280 that's unacceptable. And I was like I still have the 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:02.400 audio because I had to play that in the municipal 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.800 court in Philadelphia, because when I got my order protection 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.920 and I had to do it in Maryland, like the 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:11.800 case worker was like turn it off, like she could? 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:15.640 Is that bad? Like somebody to like not even like 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:17.960 talking this spitflyer. You'd be like, I'm like, but like 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:22.520 one of those like a huge yeah, I'm so sorry 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:24.800 you had to go through that, and I'm I'm glad 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.480 that you're on the other end of this now and 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:29.280 that you made it through. And let me ask you 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:31.440 this when it comes to filing or because I held 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:34.680 sometimes we are so reluctant to actually like go and 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:36.720 do things like that because we don't want to involve 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.760 the system, right so and it needs to be embarrassed, 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:44.000 you know, because life changed for everyone With me, I 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.560 could push through. I didn't bid divorce through this my 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:50.360 third final. I'm done with all that. I don't push through. 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:53.080 But I always like, damn, like what effect doesn't have 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:55.320 on my kids. I see all of these shows that 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:57.400 come out and I'm just like, oh lord, I hope 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.600 I'm not damaging my children by bringing I'm thinking I'm 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:04.200 bringing structure. But I'm bringing bullshit around. So I was like, no, 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:06.680 we cut all of that out because I'm glad I 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.880 did it when I did, because wherever you're around, you 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:13.720 will become kid used to act a certain way, very smart, 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:17.320 very great kids. But they were just like so, I 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:19.360 don't know. It was just like I don't know if 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:22.440 it's the North Philly grip. I don't know what it was. 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:24.600 But my son was getting it a lot of fights 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.840 at school, and I'm like, yo, that's with No, that's 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.040 not how that you are. And he goes to a 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:33.480 great school. He went to a great school. Hard for that, 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:37.640 Like going out like that, they're gonna automatically label you 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.480 as a problem child, and that's not That's not how 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:43.120 I'm raising you. So I'm glad I pulled my children 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:44.280 out of it. And some of the things that I 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.880 found out after the fact, all I gotta say is 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.440 to God be the glory that we made it out 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:55.160 a lie. Thank God? Did he every time I apologize. 0:15:55.640 --> 0:16:00.000 I mean, like, after all, once I got my protection 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:02.280 from abuse, that's what it's called if BEAUSEI he's not 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:04.520 allowed to contact me once my divorces final, lot, he's 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:06.760 not allowed to call me contact. I don't want no apology. 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:08.840 That's between him and God. At this point, when you 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:11.640 break a vow, that's between you and God, you ain't 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:13.520 gotta say sorry to me. A lot of people will 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:15.560 try to, you know, smooth it over. I don't have. 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.560 If y'all know the trauma and stuff that I went through, 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:22.000 I don't even want an apology. I don't want anything 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:24.800 like when I say I purged that whole situation. I 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.200 don't remember what he looks like. I don't remember anything 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:30.280 from that stag. I totally let that ship go. If 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:34.000 that man died today, it's not like I've been, oh, yes, 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.320 doing the cabbage patch. I would be like, I hope 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:40.160 that his affairs are accepted and the law takes him 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:43.240 and you know, accept whatever the case may be. Because 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:45.760 I used to think that I was saving a lot 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:47.840 of females because the people used to be contact with 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:49.760 me all the time, and I'm like, damn, call me. 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:52.240 Is this a booking or is you just trying to 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:57.320 get emails at all types of stuff? And I'm just like, y'all, 0:16:57.360 --> 0:17:00.160 but this is weird because I'm trying to say, if 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:03.960 y'all from what they when I say leopers don't change 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:06.800 their spots. If you beat my ask beat yours. Two 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:09.760 SIPs and that's not that's what you get, But that's 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:13.760 what you get for thinking that you were so right. 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:17.840 This is what I got. What happened, man, good, thank you. 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:23.800 I don't want them. What what about thousand rumors like 0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:27.119 with because there was like other men that there was 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:29.800 rummors around that with that ever panned out to be 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:31.320 true because I know you said you found a lot 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:37.800 of stuff out. After all I gotta say is I'm 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:39.880 so this is what I'm gonna saying, because I really 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:42.720 don't speak on that. All I'm gonna say is I 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:46.359 have a clean bill of health at the level up 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.119 and the glow is lit. God, I let that go 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:53.400 because trust me, it could have been a different outcome. 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:56.719 You're like, man, I didn't even know this person. Now, 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:03.639 you don't know who you laying by at night or 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:06.000 you know what. I was fighting my own demons and 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:09.440 fighting everybody else's. I really not saying I didn't care, 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.680 but it was like it didn't resonate to me how 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:16.560 much it was honestly deteriorating me and bringing my stock down. 0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:21.560 You ain't working up my bag. No, No, now, let's 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:25.440 let's move on to some fun things. Yeah, since you 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:27.320 know we got and obviously you know, we want to 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:28.840 make sure that you're good. And I know that was 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:30.639 part of the conversation because I know that helps a 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:32.520 lot of women, right, A lot of them men have 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.640 been going through a lot. So I appreciate you being 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:37.480 really open to discuss it and talk about it because 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:39.200 I know people look to you and they're like, Okay, 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:41.440 she went through it. Maybe I need to get my 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:45.680 affairs in order to Ever since, like before pre pandemic, 0:18:46.280 --> 0:18:48.800 even up until now, people have been going back and 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:51.720 watching the old interviews that I did with y'all, and 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.320 they were like, at first, I'm not gonna say I 0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.720 was ashamed or embarrassed. I would say that I was 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:00.800 slightly afraid to put it out there because I was like, 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:03.400 I was receiving so many so much black lash of stuff. 0:19:03.400 --> 0:19:05.000 I was like, damn, I don't even mean it like that, 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:07.520 Like I was getting a lot of backlash for stuff, 0:19:07.520 --> 0:19:10.439 and I'm like, my heart is pure. I never intend 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:14.080 to offend. Now, I know that I'm not for everybody, 0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:17.000 but so many people there was like I hadn't followed 0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:18.520 you because I didn't like the way he was taking 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:20.800 I saw on the theead of the have come back 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:23.880 because they were like, I did not know that that's 0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:26.280 when you were going through. And now I see so 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:30.240 the doors that it's opened for me to discuss my 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:33.600 healing process and the brokenness that I'm letting golf because 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:36.800 I can't fix. Once your heartest broke, it's just like, uh, 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:40.480 you just know what you'll never deal with again. So 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.240 I literally had to get down to the broken down 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:46.280 part where I couldn't call nobody. I was out of favor, 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:48.960 cart like I need you to come get me, like 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:50.720 I was out of that because it was just like this, 0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:52.320 all you're gonna do is go back. I had to 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:55.600 get to the brokenness, place of brokenness where I had 0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:59.880 to ask God, Okay, what's going on here because it's 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:04.000 obvious I can't do this by myself. Get me out 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:08.480 of here, and I promise who you got I? Oh 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:13.600 my god, y'all have no idea. Man, it's not real. 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:15.520 I want to give you a hug. I want to 0:20:15.600 --> 0:20:20.240 give good again. Plug. Well, we love you, We love 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:22.760 you so much. I've been there, Like I just want 0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:25.840 to say, I've been there, so I know how you feeling. 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.639