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Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of How

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Speaker 1: I Trended Your Mother? Let me see a vanadium silver trended?

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Speaker 1: Couldn't it be trend How I trend your Mother? Is like,

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Speaker 1: but I guess sense. Yeah, but it just feels dirty.

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Speaker 2: It feels like a verb.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, met is a verb.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you got me there.

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Speaker 1: I got you there. I'm gonna have to question your

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Speaker 1: police work there, Miles. Met is a verb. One more thing?

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Speaker 1: What but yeah, it adds like something to it, like

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Speaker 1: how I trended your mother? I don't know what it is. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: vanadium silver? You sick? Oh? But thank you for the

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Speaker 1: run of sitcom based trending titles. Yeah, anything to distract

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Speaker 1: from the news, you know. Uh, it's a pleasure. What's

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Speaker 1: going on? Wow? What's up? So I'm going off? Oh man,

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Speaker 1: I'm in the office. Uh TV show? Yeah? Man, he

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Speaker 1: bragged the office right now. Man, I'm in the office, dude,

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Speaker 1: really that's people don't know this, But I'm in the office.

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Speaker 1: What's Dwight Like, I'm back at the HQ at work,

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Speaker 1: coming coming into the HQ on a daily basis while

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Speaker 1: I'm in New York temporarily, And uh, I forgot how

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Speaker 1: humiliating it is to go to the bathroom at work.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, just shoulder to shoulder, shoulder to shoulder, taking

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Speaker 1: a take into your boss, taking a dump in the

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Speaker 1: urinal shoulders, shoulder. You're also peeing out of the hole

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Speaker 1: in your in your penis right now? I'm sorry? Is

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Speaker 1: that the small talk talk.

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Speaker 2: I went with was Jack, I told you I gave

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Speaker 2: you a bunch of one to do in the bathroom

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Speaker 2: and not go over Well, uh, you got pissed running

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Speaker 2: through your urethra right now.

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Speaker 1: Also, straight line, hey, straight shooter over here, take.

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Speaker 2: Up all right, someone's got a split stream.

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Speaker 1: Ah.

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Speaker 2: Player, Uh, you're a player. I'm the CEO.

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Speaker 1: I really would ask that you leave me alone. Stop, stop,

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Speaker 1: let go of my hand. We should before we started.

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Speaker 1: I don't care if you're scared. This is not the

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Speaker 1: place to grab a stranger's hand.

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Speaker 2: I think I've told that story when I when I worked,

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Speaker 2: I had a I had a boss who like had

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Speaker 2: you know, he had flow issues because he's like an

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Speaker 2: older guy. Yeah, and peeing next to him, like there

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Speaker 2: are a few for whatever reason, like our bladders were

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Speaker 2: synced up, and I would it would be like one

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Speaker 2: of those things where like you'd like, sometimes I would

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Speaker 2: see him go in the bathroom like I'm going it

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Speaker 2: at the same time. I'm going at the same time,

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Speaker 2: and other.

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Speaker 1: Times like experiencing hell secondhand.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because other times we'd be like right there and

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Speaker 2: it'd be too late for me to do it. You

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Speaker 2: you turn him like, hey, what's up, Miles, And I'm like, oh, yeah, nothing, man.

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Speaker 1: You're literally going towards the bathroom.

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Speaker 2: See yeah, and I can't say, ah, wait, sorry, my

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Speaker 2: computer's on five.

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Speaker 1: I gotta go back.

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Speaker 2: And then he was doing he was having.

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Speaker 1: Straight up green Mile Tom Hanks. I have heard some

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Speaker 1: elderly men go through some shit. Yeah, it's like go

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Speaker 1: through labor and look, I'm no shade to that. I

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Speaker 1: just don't like to be reminded of my own mortality. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's just like I'm gonna be there fucking soon, old

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Speaker 1: as fuck.

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Speaker 2: Hey, man, you get you get it all checked out? Man, Thanks,

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Speaker 2: You're all healthy.

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Speaker 1: All right, Miles. Let's get into a little bit of

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Speaker 1: what's going on with the zeitgeist. So apparently America's TikTok

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Speaker 1: band is going to expire early September, So what better

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Speaker 1: time for the White House to join TikTok. There is

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Speaker 1: an official White House TikTok account featuring things like a

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Speaker 1: video of Trump telling followers, I am your voice just

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Speaker 1: really man.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Uh, And you're never gonna guess what the comments are

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Speaker 1: like on these videos, These comments that like, because it's

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Speaker 1: not being run by uh, you know, Trump or farms, let.

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Speaker 2: Me guess you are so strong you have you're so strong.

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Speaker 1: Those arms must be like Christmas hams.

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Speaker 2: You have hams like Christmas arms.

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Speaker 1: Comes in, big guy, big old guy, hears in his eyes, sir,

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Speaker 1: mister president, sir tired. All right, I'm just gonna read

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Speaker 1: some of the comments. Wendy, where's the damn Epstein files?

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Speaker 1: Donald Carston and marge where are the filesy March five questions?

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Speaker 1: Oh damn, they got cars and Marge on there. Tory Renee,

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Speaker 1: So about those Epstein files. Yeah, it's God over and over.

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Speaker 1: They won't let up, you hear tell of these town halls.

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Speaker 1: Also not going so hot for the Republicans and politicized.

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Speaker 2: At least get booed off the stage twice.

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Speaker 1: When one show. Yeah, so apparently there's still interest. There's

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Speaker 1: still interest in these dang Epstein files. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what these fucking people are on about. D I died,

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Speaker 1: he died, He's dead. Okay, we showed you a lightly

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Speaker 1: edited video, a likely edited video where the part that

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Speaker 1: we edited out had a weird orange blob going through it.

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Speaker 1: So just like, what, just forget it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, the weird orange blob was another hit man, hitman,

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Speaker 2: an inmate we allowed to be a hit man in there. Okay, Sorry,

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Speaker 2: what do you want?

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Speaker 1: What do you want? What do you want?

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Speaker 2: I like how their whole thing is sort of like

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Speaker 2: how when you've been humiliated in middle school and you're like, Mom,

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Speaker 2: I can't go to school tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: They're gonna they're gonna keep.

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Speaker 2: Talking about it, and you're like fine, and then you

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Speaker 2: go Monday they still talking about it. Yeah, you can't.

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Speaker 2: You can't sit this one out Congress, but I mean

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Speaker 2: they'll try, they'll try. It's kind of a bad time, though,

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Speaker 2: for Congress to be in a recess, because damn, could

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Speaker 2: you use could use some Democrats speaking out about all

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Speaker 2: this shit that's happening right now, especially in DC. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and fucking gestures do everywhere.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure Corey Booker's got some bars for when it comes.

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Speaker 2: Back probably probably taking z bars right now.

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Speaker 1: Uh, we did see similar news. I guess this is

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Speaker 1: all part of the same thing. Uh, jd Vance, Jit Evans,

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Speaker 1: Pete Haig Seth, teenage mutant, Ninja, Goebles, gurbls, Ye, Garbles,

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Speaker 1: and Ninjas all showed up at Union Station to buy

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Speaker 1: shake shack for the troops that they have stationed there

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Speaker 1: to arrest people for the color of their skin. And uh,

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Speaker 1: for some reason, they got booed and because they're like

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Speaker 1: not good at this, I guess, uh, they like vision visibly,

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Speaker 1: like react is like the photo op, so they're like

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Speaker 1: doing a photo op. They're like standing out front proudly

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Speaker 1: with the troops behind them, and as people booed them,

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Speaker 1: they are like making a face like, Hey, what the hell.

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Speaker 1: We're doing a good.

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Speaker 2: Thing for them, We're buying them shake shacks.

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Speaker 1: This is just them walking through.

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Speaker 3: Couch Buddy's Like, that's prove.

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Speaker 1: Looking up on the fucking That was just that was

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Speaker 1: the up close stuff. Here's here's into the road.

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Speaker 2: Here's the one where there's more booze.

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Speaker 1: Just a fucking Stephen Miller is in a fu Con

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Speaker 1: Taan suit to this dickhead. If you're not gonna let

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Speaker 1: Obama get away with it. I'm not letting you get

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Speaker 1: away with it, Miller.

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Speaker 2: I can do it because I'm disgusting. Okay, what do

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Speaker 2: you think the fucking vibes are like? When they inevitably

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Speaker 2: get into like the quiet of their protected bulletproof car

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Speaker 2: and have to like, clearly they've just been heckled to

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Speaker 2: high hell, people be like, well's the pussy boy go

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Speaker 2: fuck a couchy loser, And then they gotta be like

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Speaker 2: it's a bunch of haters or something. Huh yeah, right,

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Speaker 2: and they're like, oh, totally, dude.

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Speaker 4: These people are just so fucking they don't know what

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Speaker 4: they're angry about. They don't even know exactly. Hey, it's

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Speaker 4: part of the job, you know. I'm sure that always

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Speaker 4: happens to other politicians who aren't committing crimes against humanity

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Speaker 4: right now, exactly exactly.

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Speaker 2: There's also another there was a moment too, where Steven

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Speaker 2: Miller is just like he's asked about like, damn, you know,

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Speaker 2: it sounds like the people of DC are fucking angry

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Speaker 2: and are resisting and protesting, and Steven Miller had to

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Speaker 2: do this whole fucking like sort of everything's fine. Those

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Speaker 2: people are just like old hippies who like don't know

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Speaker 2: any this is this is so fucking sad, Like this

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Speaker 2: dude is such a fucking loser. This is him trying

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Speaker 2: to be like it's not an l this just it's

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Speaker 2: it's everything doing will. And these people are like outside

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Speaker 2: fucking agitators.

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Speaker 1: They have no families, they're raising the city. They have

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Speaker 1: no one that they're sending to school in the city,

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Speaker 1: they have no jobs in the city, they have no

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Speaker 1: connections in this community at all. But they're the ones

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Speaker 1: who've been advocating for the one.

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Speaker 4: Percent, criminals, the killers, the rapists, their drug dealers.

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Speaker 3: And I'm glad they're here today because me, Pete and

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Speaker 3: the Vice President all gonna leave here and aspired by them.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna add thousands more resources to this city to

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Speaker 1: get dimitals and they get members out of here and

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Speaker 1: if those networks, and we're gonna prove that a city

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Speaker 1: can serve for the law abided citizens who live there.

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Speaker 1: We're not gonna let the communists.

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Speaker 2: Destroy a great arch in the city, let alone the

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Speaker 2: nation's capital.

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Speaker 1: And let's just also dress another thing. All these demonstrators

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Speaker 1: that you've seen out here in recent days, all of

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Speaker 1: these elderly white hippies, they're not part of the city.

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Speaker 1: It never happened. He can huh.

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Speaker 2: So you're not shook at all.

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Speaker 1: By the way. You go home, and I'm gonna do

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Speaker 1: even better stuff because you were mean to me. Look

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Speaker 1: what you made me do.

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Speaker 5: Now now I'm gonna have to go home and eat

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Speaker 5: a fucking entire one gallon jug of Best Foods mayonnaise

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Speaker 5: in front of my wife and put my whole fucking

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Speaker 5: marriage at risk again because she says it's quote unquote

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Speaker 5: disgusting that all I eat is quote mayonnaise.

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Speaker 2: And it's just the people don't know how how difficult

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Speaker 2: it is to keep people safe. All right, Just shut up,

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Speaker 2: fucking go away.

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Speaker 1: It's a fucking hero, that's what they get in there,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, that's the yeah, price of being a

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Speaker 1: fucking hero for white supremacy. Donald Trump is also I

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Speaker 1: had a similar question after that. There's this headline about

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Speaker 1: him being worried about getting into heaven. Did you hear

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Speaker 1: see that?

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Speaker 2: I saw it, and then when I clicked on it

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Speaker 2: and then saw what he said, I was like that nice.

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Speaker 1: Truly, I seem like he's that worried about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but people are yeah, making a big deal about this

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Speaker 1: headline where says Donald Trump has sparked fresh health concerns

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Speaker 1: after confessing he's worried about not getting into heaven. I

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Speaker 1: just think, first of all, there's a lot of interest

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Speaker 1: around his health because I don't think I think everybody

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Speaker 1: gets the sense we're not getting out of this thing

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Speaker 1: electorally with Donald Trump, and not the way I'm saying it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, when you listen to but like, if you

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Speaker 1: listen to how he's saying it, it sounds like he's

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Speaker 1: just being like, I want to try to get to

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Speaker 1: Heaven if possible. I'm hearing that I'm not doing very well.

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Speaker 1: I'm really at the bottom of the totem pole. He

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Speaker 1: he But if I can get to heaven, this will

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Speaker 1: be one of the reasons that this being the you know,

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Speaker 1: his attempt to stop the worrying you.

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Speaker 2: He's stopping so many wars, Jack, and he stops like

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Speaker 2: fucking like seven hundred wars.

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Speaker 1: Maybe so many wars. Do you have any idea how

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Speaker 1: many wars he stopped? Everybody be like, what the fuck

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Speaker 1: is he?

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Speaker 2: He did?

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Speaker 1: Just say?

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Speaker 2: Him and net and Yahoo are war heroes. I mean,

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Speaker 2: he's definitely pumping up his own dick to try and

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Speaker 2: be like, I'm a man of peace. So I don't know,

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Speaker 2: maybe subconsciously clearly he's like, why are they talking about?

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Speaker 2: Why do you have to hide my ankles? Like, oh, nothing,

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Speaker 2: mister President, It's just everything's fine.

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Speaker 1: What's wrong with me? Jealous?

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Speaker 2: And again, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: He is nothing if not litigious, and he's trying to

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Speaker 1: like prelitigate his heaven or hell.

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Speaker 2: Uh oh, you know, like he's when Saint Peter's like,

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Speaker 2: here's the thing, guy, I actually can't prove that I

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Speaker 2: never actually did any of that. Suff well I can

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Speaker 2: because I'm omniscient.

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Speaker 1: I'm Saint Peter. And guess what hell going to hell?

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Speaker 1: Do you think?

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Speaker 2: Saint Peter does it like that? He's like you heaven you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we just turn it up on a little stink

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Speaker 1: on it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, playing double bass on the drum kit.

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Speaker 1: I think this is like a fantasy, but like stories

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Speaker 1: like this, I think give people hope. Well, first of all,

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Speaker 1: there's the fantasy that I hope everybody's abandoned a long

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Speaker 1: time ago, that like Trump will have his like Scrooge

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Speaker 1: like Christmas morning moment where he'll be like, I've seen

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Speaker 1: the errors of my ways. Like you get a ham,

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Speaker 1: you get a ham? Right, he does love Christmas hams

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Speaker 1: when they're on the arms of men that are coming

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Speaker 1: up to him with tears in their eyes. But I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, dementia can alter someone's personality. So yeah, maybe

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Speaker 2: in that sense we a function of his cognitive decline

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Speaker 2: rather than like a moral panic.

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Speaker 1: I do hope he gets like the end of like

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Speaker 1: the act of killing or the end of the jinx thing,

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Speaker 1: where like you see these people who've committed crimes and

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Speaker 1: who are having to deal with the fact that they've

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Speaker 1: committed them, but like it's all being held down by

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Speaker 1: their unconscious and suddenly they just have like intense gastro

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Speaker 1: intestinal distress. Yeah, there's like it's not that, it's not that,

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Speaker 1: it's it's I it's something weird. I guess. Anyways, let's

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Speaker 1: take a quick break. We'll be right back, and we're back.

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Speaker 1: And so PlayStation five, which came out in twenty twenty,

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Speaker 1: is that right, Yeah, Yeah, a long time ago, I

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Speaker 1: had just announced that the prices are going way up.

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Speaker 2: I wonder why it's in the US Vice article is

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Speaker 2: talking about how it's being caused by.

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Speaker 1: Economic difficulties, but they don't mention the tariffs at all.

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Speaker 1: Similar to many global businesses, we continue to navigate a

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Speaker 1: challenging economic environment. As a result, we compromise the cult

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Speaker 1: decision to increase the recommended retail price per PlayStation five,

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Speaker 1: which is weird because, like Fortune, the headline is Sony

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Speaker 1: will pass on tariff costs to US consumers by hiking

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Speaker 1: PlayStation five prices.

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Speaker 2: CNN at least did the thing they did today is

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Speaker 2: your last data buy a PlayStation five before Sony increases prices.

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Speaker 2: And then as you read it in the first paragraph,

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Speaker 2: they're like, yeah, the fucking tariff bro.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. But I mean there's also word that vegetable prices

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Speaker 1: have had the highest spike in costs in the past

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Speaker 1: month since the nineteen forties.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they said, wholesale prices, so what the fucking stores

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Speaker 2: buy it? A spiked thirty eight percent.

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Speaker 1: Thirty eight percent, which the last time that happened was

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming it was the nineteen forties. I'm assuming those

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Speaker 1: because the fields were emptied because of a different authoritarian

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Speaker 1: you know, were in Europe. Uh Dan Krout, Yeah, FDR that,

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Speaker 1: thank you, and thank you also that there's some good

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Speaker 1: stats coming out on on ice and you know all

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Speaker 1: what they're doing. What one stat just came out that

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Speaker 1: seventy one percent of the people that I says arrested

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Speaker 1: have no criminal record.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's people held steady since like that's kind

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Speaker 2: of their batting average for the season, Yeah, which is

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Speaker 2: seventy percent absolute whiffs. And because again it's not even

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Speaker 2: about it's not even about what they're saying it's about

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Speaker 2: it's just to merely fucking antagonize and intimidate people. Yeah, yikes,

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Speaker 2: yees seventy one percent. Wow, Okay, And then that's why

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Speaker 2: that clip where Steven Miller's like they want the drug dealers,

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Speaker 2: the gang members, It's like, bro, you're not even getting

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Speaker 2: these people, so it's.

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Speaker 1: Not sure even what you're trying to do. And then

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Speaker 1: also another is the uh they've announced another alliterative concentration

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Speaker 1: camp name in Nebraska. They're going to open a Nebraska

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Speaker 1: concentration camp. They're calling Cornhusker Clink after Alligator Alcatraz deportation Depot.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't hear this one. The speedway slammer in Indiana.

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Speaker 2: Why again, this nation is being ran by someone's racist

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Speaker 2: uncle with all these fucking uncle Jim called the speedway slam.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just dead jokes, but like sub dead joke level,

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Speaker 1: like what else do you have?

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Speaker 2: What else can you do? Like, okay, do you have

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Speaker 2: clink slammer.

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Speaker 1: Jail?

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Speaker 2: What are they going to do next? What are they

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Speaker 2: going to do next? Who knows? Who knows?

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Speaker 1: They like, I guess they could have called it like

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Speaker 1: alligator Auschwitz.

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Speaker 2: They're probably just going to be like, yeah, it's just

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Speaker 2: like and this one's bergen Belsen, this is sobibor this

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Speaker 2: is Auschwitz, right, because now it's just we we're not

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Speaker 2: good at We're not just going to take from the Nazis.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of what we do sort of a whole thing.

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Speaker 1: But then we like give them, we used to give

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Speaker 1: them cute nicknames, but we're we're so tired and our

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Speaker 1: dear leader's brain is leaking out of all.

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Speaker 2: Those fucking places too, Like all the reports about Alligator

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Speaker 2: Alcatraz are like these places are slapped together in that

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Speaker 2: fucking white supremacist panic and are just absolutely have people

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Speaker 2: put people are putting people in absolutely atrocious living conditions

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Speaker 2: like tuberculosis outbreaks and.

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Speaker 1: Ship TV outbreaks for the first time. And yeah, the

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Speaker 1: numbers are unprecedented historically.

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Speaker 2: But why are they booing Steven Miller?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, at least at least where we can boo them,

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Speaker 1: we can tell them to get fucked on, kicktok and

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Speaker 1: as we'll talk about tomorrow, we can ship posts and

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Speaker 1: you know when we're Gavin Newsom is going to get

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Speaker 1: their attention. Tell you, yeah, dude, Rock doesn't seem too happy.

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Speaker 1: Get them, Get them Son, get them. Yeah. So Gavin

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Speaker 1: Newsom posted an image that I'm forced to assume is

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Speaker 1: real where uh Gavin Newsom? Well, so there's been a

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Speaker 1: couple AI slots. One has Gavin Newsom being prayed over

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Speaker 1: by Tucker Carlson, Kid Rock and a winged angel version

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Speaker 1: of hul Cogan, and then there's all. He also posted

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Speaker 1: a picture of Kid Rock as Uncle Sam, saying Kid

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Speaker 1: Rock wants you to support Gavin Newsom and Kid Rock

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Speaker 1: seems seems unhappy, so well, support Gavin new scum'll ever

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Speaker 1: get out of me is from from these nuts.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's pretty good. So you use your testicular fortitude

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Speaker 2: to support this candidate. You're putting your balls.

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Speaker 1: On the line. Nuts is that.

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Speaker 2: This guy's a fucking an idiot, you know who LARPs

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Speaker 2: as like some working class person, So like, yeah, these

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Speaker 2: nuts and then he's gonna go fucking cry and his

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Speaker 2: big greasy pillow about his pillow must be so greasy.

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Speaker 2: It's a greasy it looks like a KFCA.

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Speaker 1: It would if he didn't like have a full time

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Speaker 1: staff that was there switching it out every every.

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Speaker 2: Night for oh actually everyone, Yeah, they take out his expressions.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, may I remove the royal wig? Kid?

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Speaker 2: You may?

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Speaker 1: My name is my name. I wear wigs. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get that going. That is what's happening to that. We're

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Speaker 1: back tomorrow with the whole last episode of the show.

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Speaker 1: Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself,

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Speaker 1: get your vaccines ways okay, and get your flu shots.

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Speaker 1: Waisto can don't do nothing about white Supreme. We will

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Speaker 1: talk to you all tomorrow by piece.

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Speaker 4: The Daily Zite Guys is executive produced by Catherine Law,

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Speaker 4: co produced by bae Wayge.

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Speaker 1: Co produced by Victor Wright

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Speaker 2: Co written by j M McNabb, and edited and engineered

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Speaker 2: by Brian Jeffries.