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Speaker 1: Traditions, much like rules, are often made to be broken.

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Speaker 2: You.

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Speaker 3: I can't believe you literally took my SoundBite.

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Speaker 4: Smiling, give it back. I'll give you something, but it

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Speaker 4: won't be the tradition.

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Speaker 5: Next tradition made to I give you something, it won't.

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Speaker 5: I literally you know what started the show.

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Speaker 1: Dead Ass?

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Speaker 4: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight

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Speaker 4: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become

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Speaker 4: Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

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Speaker 3: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It

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Speaker 3: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable,

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Speaker 3: be wrang.

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Speaker 1: Of course, but most apportly be us.

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Speaker 3: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we.

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Speaker 3: And through it all, one thing has never changed.

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Speaker 2: This is.

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Speaker 5: Because we got a lot to talk about.

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Speaker 4: All right, story time, This is a tradition I couldn't

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Speaker 4: wait to break because it broke my heart every time

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Speaker 4: it happened.

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Speaker 1: What was it?

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Speaker 5: So? Did they have anything to do with me?

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Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, no, it had nothing to do with you.

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Speaker 6: This.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take y'all back to nineteen ninety two.

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Speaker 4: I'm eight years old, all right, school, just lets out

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Speaker 4: second grade, parents drive us down to Tennessee. They're my

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Speaker 4: grandparents were having a good time. You know, every night

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Speaker 4: we play spades. Right one morning, I wake up looking

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Speaker 4: around for my mom and my dad.

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Speaker 1: They go, and when I mean.

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Speaker 4: Gone, They put us to bed the night before like

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Speaker 4: everything was going to be the same. And when we

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Speaker 4: woke up, they were no longer in Tennessee and we

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Speaker 4: didn't see them for eight weeks.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 5: They just devastating as an eight year old.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, in the middle of the night, just you wake up.

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Speaker 4: And then my grandparents were like, in their minds, it

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Speaker 4: was you don't harp on this. They'll get over it

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Speaker 4: with my mom and dad.

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Speaker 1: You imagine New York.

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Speaker 4: Don't start that crying now, all right.

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Speaker 1: My parents just left me in the middle of the night.

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Speaker 4: My grandmother and my grandfather told me not to cry

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Speaker 4: about it.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna just go back in the room with my brother.

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Speaker 4: And the first thing I did was tell Brian that

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Speaker 4: that mom and daddy was going, and he started crying,

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Speaker 4: and I was just like, you cannot go out there.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god. Did you guys console each other?

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Speaker 4: We did like we did, we all we got everybody

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Speaker 4: do this every time I told her leave.

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Speaker 1: They said, they leave. They look, we did all.

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Speaker 5: Of that crying and your parents never felt bad about it.

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Speaker 1: Huh, Nope.

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Speaker 5: Summer after summer after summer, similar thing happened to me.

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Speaker 3: My mom had gotten my aunt to come by the

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Speaker 3: night before they were supposed to leave. We didn't know

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Speaker 3: where they were going anywhere. I had to have been

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Speaker 3: about five, because Tristan was a baby. He was like

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Speaker 3: maybe a year old, and I'm thinking to myself, oh,

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Speaker 3: my aunt is by. She was my favorite aunt at

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Speaker 3: the time. I'm like, we're having a good little night,

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Speaker 3: go to bed, and wake up the next morning my

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Speaker 3: parents are gone.

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Speaker 5: Similar thing.

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Speaker 3: I don't understand what it was about them not wanting

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Speaker 3: to have the conversation with us about us leaving, or

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Speaker 3: maybe they didn't want to break our hearts by letting

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Speaker 3: the stuff that they were leaving.

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Speaker 4: Not sure what I think they didn't want to break

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Speaker 4: their own hearts, so they were like, let's just go.

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Speaker 1: Because I know my mom would have saw us crying,

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Speaker 1: probably been like Troy, yep, we could take him back.

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Speaker 1: And my father wanted his wife, and it was like

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Speaker 1: lave but that's my father. I know. That was my father. Patience.

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Speaker 1: He was ready to get up there.

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Speaker 5: He's gonna do it best for him first, for sure,

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Speaker 5: for sure.

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Speaker 1: Karaoke Times, speaking.

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Speaker 4: Of the year, I said, nineteen ninety two. Remember where

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Speaker 4: we were tenness See, Oh, Tennessee, tennas See, tennis See.

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Speaker 4: Lord really been real stress down and now losing rest

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Speaker 4: thorough bag black and proud. The hard times got me pestimistic.

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Speaker 4: Take me to another place.

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Speaker 5: Take me to.

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Speaker 1: We forget all that hurts me. Let me understand your plan.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what their plan was because that shit hurt.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to Rusted Development.

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Speaker 5: Understanding your plight in life.

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Speaker 1: It was so perfect for what I was going through

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Speaker 1: at that time.

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Speaker 5: No for real, Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. All right, y'all,

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Speaker 5: let's take a quick break.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna come back in and we're gonna talk about

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Speaker 3: traditions that we have decided to break. I'm interested to

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Speaker 3: hear what Josh, Matt and Tripple have to input in this,

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Speaker 3: so we'll be back first though, with op or no op.

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Speaker 5: Stay tuned. All right, we're back.

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Speaker 3: It seems like you're okay now, though you were able

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Speaker 3: to get over it because you guys went back to

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Speaker 3: Tennessee several years, and I guess you just realized that

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Speaker 3: that was gonna be the norm. School was gonna end

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Speaker 3: and the next morning, you guys are gonna be out.

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Speaker 4: We never even went back home after school. My Aunt

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Speaker 4: Monique shout out to my aunt Monique used to pick

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Speaker 4: us up from PS two thirty five two oh eight

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Speaker 4: or Bethlehem Baptist Academy, whichever school were in that time.

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Speaker 4: And as soon as dismissal happened, we was in her

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Speaker 4: Hondai and on a thirteen hour drive to Tennessee.

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Speaker 5: Hey, you couldn't even go home and collect your things, No,

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Speaker 5: because you know you're belonging.

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Speaker 4: Don't let them think they're gonna stay here, all right,

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Speaker 4: take them right to Tennessee right now. Plus, it was

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Speaker 4: Brooklyn in the nineties. It wasn't the safest place for

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Speaker 4: kids to be out in the streets work still, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: they both had wall I understand it now, because childcare

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Speaker 4: is too expensive and if you have grandparents are gonna

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Speaker 4: watch them for free?

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Speaker 1: Like, nah, I don't have them in the streets for

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Speaker 1: eight weeks in Brooklyn.

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Speaker 4: Send them somewhere where they can do things that don't

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Speaker 4: hurt people, like tip cows and clon trees and stuff.

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Speaker 3: So do you feel like now as an adult in

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Speaker 3: retrospect having your own children, that it robbed you of

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Speaker 3: summertime memories with your parents or it just enriched your

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Speaker 3: opportunities to spend time with your grandparents.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that's actually a really good question.

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Speaker 4: I think that my parents did the best thing they

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Speaker 4: could with the opportunities they had. Right Like, back in

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Speaker 4: those days socioeconomically, both parents had to work, and both

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Speaker 4: my parents worked nine to fives. And you have an

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Speaker 4: eight year old and a six year old, what are

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Speaker 4: you going to do with them? Because camps in those

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Speaker 4: times cost thousands of dollars per weeks. And my parents,

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Speaker 4: you know, we weren't wealthy. My dad was working multiple

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Speaker 4: jobs and my mom worked for the city. So they

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Speaker 4: did what they had to. So I feel like they

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Speaker 4: did what was in the best interest of not only them,

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Speaker 4: but was for the family. Because I adore my grandparents

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Speaker 4: to this day because of the eight weeks that I

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Speaker 4: spent with them in Tennessee, Like everything that I've learned

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Speaker 4: about bid wist, how to cook, how to clean, it

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Speaker 4: was like a boot camp for eight weeks of how

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Speaker 4: to become an adult, and I appreciate my parents for

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Speaker 4: that now.

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Speaker 1: It hurt in the moment, you know, because no one ever.

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Speaker 4: Wants to just be left out of the the plan,

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Speaker 4: even if you ate, you want to know, like, hey,

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Speaker 4: we're going to drive there there, we'll be there for

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Speaker 4: a week with y'all, but then we're leaving. So I

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Speaker 4: feel like that part was a little traumatic, and I

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Speaker 4: kind of lost trust for my parents, you know, when

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Speaker 4: they used to say things to me after that, I

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Speaker 4: didn't believe.

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Speaker 1: I second guessed everything.

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Speaker 5: So straightforward, we're gonna be leaving, say goodbye.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: One time my mom went out of town and somebody

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Speaker 7: from church, her name was Denisia. She came to babysit

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Speaker 7: the same thing in the middle of the night, and

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Speaker 7: I used to sleep in my mom's bed. I used

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Speaker 7: to go get in my mom's bed and I was

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Speaker 7: sleep with my one arm and one leg wrapped around her.

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Speaker 2: And so I wake up with my arm on my

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Speaker 2: leg wrapped around Denisia's. I ain't know Denisia was there.

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Speaker 1: That's where it started.

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Speaker 2: Denisa was kind of thick too.

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Speaker 1: No, but that fucked you up, didn't it.

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Speaker 2: No, But I'll never forget that. I was just like, damn.

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Speaker 1: It made me.

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Speaker 7: It made me think about just getting in somebody's bed,

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Speaker 7: wrapping my body around them. Though, because you never know

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Speaker 7: who's up in there. It makes you a little more cautious.

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Speaker 6: Remember when she became Goldilocks, that's where you got that from.

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Speaker 2: I don't remember too much. Ship.

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Speaker 4: Remember, so now your mother's that's the origin story, Denise,

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Speaker 4: is the reason why you broke into that young lady's apartment.

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Speaker 1: Her bad. Now we all know, we understand you better

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Speaker 1: trouble parents. Yall see what y'all do to us.

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Speaker 5: Listen, you realize that, Kay?

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Speaker 1: When Kate goes to it like where you're going? What

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Speaker 1: time you leaving? You leave right now?

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Speaker 6: Did you kiss me?

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Speaker 1: You are where you going?

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Speaker 6: You call me when you got there? What's happening?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's me, that's me.

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Speaker 5: It will happen again.

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Speaker 3: No, There's been many times I've got in places and

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Speaker 3: I just got wrapped up in the moment and he'd

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Speaker 3: be like.

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Speaker 2: Yo, did you get there?

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Speaker 5: I'm like, oh God, here goes my bad.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not doing that to the kids. We make

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Speaker 1: it a point. Your mom.

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Speaker 4: Remember we used to go on date nights and kyroll

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Speaker 4: be crying. Yeah, she'd be like, why you do this

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Speaker 4: and tell them why don't you just leave? And I'm like, no,

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Speaker 4: I want them to know when we're going, and I

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Speaker 4: want to be clear that we're coming back so that

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Speaker 4: they trust us when we're leaving. And now it's that

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Speaker 4: simple when we say we're leaving and they know we're

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Speaker 4: coming back.

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Speaker 5: You know, all right, opera, no opp what we got today.

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Speaker 2: Well, we got black power on the docket today.

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Speaker 7: Come on, now, I just want to make sure that

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Speaker 7: you know and and we know what it's about over here.

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Speaker 7: But I saw a really interesting clip. There's this documentary

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Speaker 7: on Hulu is called The sixteen nineteen Project.

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Speaker 5: Have you seen it?

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Speaker 2: It's been out for a little bit of time.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, project, I think it came out in twenty.

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Speaker 2: It's Nicole Hannah Jones.

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Speaker 7: She's a journalist, and she did this piece for like

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Speaker 7: The New York Times or something a while ago about

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Speaker 7: the sixteen nineteen Project. You turned into a book and

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Speaker 7: then they did a documentary about it. But in this clip,

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Speaker 7: she's talking to an expert about the racial wealth gap,

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Speaker 7: which we all know about. And I just thought this

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Speaker 7: was an interesting thing to bring up to Davao and

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Speaker 7: the rest of the group, because basically, this expert is

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Speaker 7: saying that no matter what obstacles Black people kind of reach,

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Speaker 7: or whatever milestones they reach, they still don't close the

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Speaker 7: racial wealth gap.

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Speaker 2: So she asked about marriage.

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Speaker 7: Does marriage close the weal racial wealth gap for black families?

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Speaker 7: And he said that white families have two times White

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Speaker 7: families with two parent household have two times the wealth

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Speaker 7: as Black families with two parent households. College degrees don't

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Speaker 7: don't close the wealth racial wealth gap. Black head of

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Speaker 7: households with a college degree have about two thirds of

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Speaker 7: the wealth as a white head of household who didn't

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Speaker 7: graduate from high school.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: And then she asked what about savings because people always

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Speaker 7: say black people need financial literacy, they need to save

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Speaker 7: more money. And he said, actually, when you compare income categories,

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Speaker 7: black people save just as much or more than white

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Speaker 7: families and still don't close the racial wealth gap.

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Speaker 4: So I want to know, I want to know why. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I would like to hear an opinion. The reason why

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Speaker 4: is because of land. It's because of land. Most white

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Speaker 4: families now who have generational wealth have gotten that generational

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Speaker 4: wealth after four hundred years of stealing from black people.

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Speaker 4: So you're never going to make up that wealth gap

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Speaker 4: in a generation. Right, So you figure four hundred years

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Speaker 4: sixteen nineteen project twenty twenty five, that's four hundred years.

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Speaker 4: So you figure generation is about twenty twenty five years.

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Speaker 4: So you figure every century has four generations. So it's

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Speaker 4: been four hundred years, four generals. That's sixteen generations of

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Speaker 4: a wealth gap created, and we are trying to make

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Speaker 4: up for.

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Speaker 1: It in ten years.

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Speaker 5: So we'll never seeing it.

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Speaker 1: We will never see it.

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Speaker 5: Especially with systems in place to not allow.

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Speaker 3: Us talk about it, talk about it to begin to

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Speaker 3: start to close the gap. Yes, it's systematic at this point.

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Speaker 4: And the reason it happens is because of things like redlining, right,

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Speaker 4: things like insurance fraud on things like appraisal biases where

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Speaker 4: even if you purchase a home, your house will be

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Speaker 4: appraised less than your white counterpart.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I just saw another video of a black man in

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Speaker 7: New York who was selling and we know how much

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Speaker 7: those Brownstones and New York going are going for their

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Speaker 7: praises for less than a million dollars, which is.

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Speaker 2: Crazy, and so then he less than a million, he.

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Speaker 7: Took all of the pictures of himself his black family

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Speaker 7: down and he had them come out and do it again,

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Speaker 7: and they praise it for half a million dollars more.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and this and things like that. Is when people

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Speaker 4: say to me, what racism is. Racism is not someone

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Speaker 4: calling you a nigger. That's not racism, that's bigotry, that's ignorance. Right,

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Speaker 4: racism is systemic Racism is preventing a group of.

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Speaker 1: People from building.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 4: Racism is the Tosa Tosa, Oklahoma bombings. Right when you say, well,

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Speaker 4: get let them do their thing on their own, and

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Speaker 4: then when they try you systematically.

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Speaker 1: Get rid of them or violent or violently get rid

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Speaker 1: of them.

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Speaker 4: And there are there are no consequences of repercussions for

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Speaker 4: anybody who does it. It's currently happening today, like right

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Speaker 4: now in our country, is happening right now with dismantling

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Speaker 4: of DEI, you know, with taking away Medicare. What happens

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Speaker 4: is because Medicare and Medicaid affects black people and people

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Speaker 4: of color at a higher rate than it affects white people.

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Speaker 1: Right, when you take.

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Speaker 4: Away DEI and you allow biases to be allowed in

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Speaker 4: the workplace, so now someone can honestly say I don't

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Speaker 4: want to hire you because you're black, or because you're gay,

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Speaker 4: or because of your religious distinction.

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Speaker 1: Now that's okay.

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Speaker 4: How do you stop people who are making the laws

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Speaker 4: because most of I think most of the government is

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Speaker 4: still compiled of sixty to seventy year old white men.

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Speaker 4: Sixty to seventy year old white white men were born

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Speaker 4: in the fifties, so they grew up at a time

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Speaker 4: where segregation was normal. Those are the people making the

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Speaker 4: laws now, and they don't care about what's happening to us.

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Speaker 4: So no, the generational wealth gap won't change amongst black

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Speaker 4: and white people in ten years. It's going to take

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Speaker 4: another four hundred years. But we have to start now.

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Speaker 4: It's daunting.

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Speaker 5: I know, yeah, it's a lot.

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Speaker 3: And I was also thinking about those men like you said,

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Speaker 3: that are white men sixty seventy eighty years old, the

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Speaker 3: trickle down effect. I'm wondering at what point will there

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Speaker 3: be a shift in the mindset, if there ever will be,

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Speaker 3: or is it that they're so indoctrinated in that that

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Speaker 3: they've indoctrinated their children. So those people who are now

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Speaker 3: going to be in office will continue to keep those

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Speaker 3: systems in place.

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Speaker 4: I mean, if let's be fair, if I'm them and

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Speaker 4: I'm in a position of power, do I give up

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Speaker 4: my position of power?

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Speaker 6: Right?

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Speaker 4: So we can't expect them to give up their position

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Speaker 4: of power. What we also have to realize is that

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Speaker 4: we're not stuck doing anything or staying here, right, Like,

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Speaker 4: there are other ways to live. We don't have to

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Speaker 4: live underneath this system, right. We also don't have to

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Speaker 4: live with them in this system. We can do things

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Speaker 4: and buy our own land and create for ourselves.

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Speaker 1: You know. I just I'm not a.

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Speaker 4: Big proponent of trusting or believing or listening or waiting

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Speaker 4: for the government to do anything for me and my family.

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Speaker 4: So from this moment on, we just got to build

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Speaker 4: with each other, y'all, Like why continue to wait?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, with each other?

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Speaker 2: I think too.

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Speaker 7: Something that what's happening in Gaza and has been happening

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Speaker 7: over the last two years has taught me is that

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Speaker 7: black and brown people are the global majority, and the

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Speaker 7: only thing that's keeping us from being a superpower is

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Speaker 7: that we are disjointed. And that's by no mistake by

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Speaker 7: white supremacy power structure. So black people from the continent

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Speaker 7: of Africa, Africa is the most minimal rich continent on.

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Speaker 1: The plane in the world.

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Speaker 7: Everything that we have, everything that we make, the minerals

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Speaker 7: come from Africa. So what if we said, what if

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Speaker 7: Africans said, and African Americans said, we are only doing

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Speaker 7: business with each other, We're taking white people out of

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Speaker 7: the equation because the generational wealth gap is too wide,

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Speaker 7: the poverty in Africa is too stark. Black Americans have

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Speaker 7: resources that can be used for Africans who have rec

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Speaker 7: sources that can be used for Americans.

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Speaker 2: So why not do it together? Like that's I think

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Speaker 2: that's what it's going to take.

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Speaker 3: I saw a clip and I showed it to you.

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Speaker 3: There's this guy that walks around I don't know his page.

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Speaker 3: It's just you know, Instagram feeds you stuff. But he

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Speaker 3: pretty much would stop millionaires billionaires in transit and be saying, hey,

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Speaker 3: when did you start your business?

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Speaker 5: How did you become wealthy? Do you have any advice

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Speaker 5: for people?

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Speaker 3: And remember this one particular white man was He's like,

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Speaker 3: you know, how are you going to continue to grow

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Speaker 3: your wealth? And he was like Africa. This white man

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Speaker 3: said Africa. And I was so like triggered for a

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Speaker 3: moment because I was like, so that's going to be

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Speaker 3: your meal ticket to be a trillionaire is you're going

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Speaker 3: to go to Africa to pretty much.

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Speaker 2: But it's just from.

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Speaker 7: From the Cush dynasty that had sawt in gold mines

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Speaker 7: since then, you know, before slavery, ancient civilizations, all of

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Speaker 7: all trades started in Africa.

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Speaker 4: You know, what we have to start doing is realizing

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Speaker 4: that the value doesn't come into currency.

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Speaker 1: Right, Think about the wealthy people here who live in America.

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Speaker 1: They want to go.

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Speaker 4: Back to the islands and spend time on the islands

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Speaker 4: with the island people. Right, So why are so many

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Speaker 4: island people in a rush to come to America to

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Speaker 4: get this life that is not real? When all of

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Speaker 4: the people here are trying to get to the islands,

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Speaker 4: we change the value system of what currency is.

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Speaker 1: True. Currency isn't in money.

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Speaker 4: Imagine you can live on your own little three acres

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Speaker 4: in an island where you can get fresh fish, you

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Speaker 4: can get cows, you can get vegetables on your own,

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Speaker 4: and you can raise your family the way you want

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Speaker 4: to without having government in affairs.

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Speaker 3: More and more enticing much for that day by day,

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Speaker 3: take this due citizenship and move this family to Jamaica seriously,

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Speaker 3: the true value of life is not in currency.

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Speaker 1: It's not We need to start recognizing that as a people.

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Speaker 4: If we recognize that as a people, we wouldn't be

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Speaker 4: in a situation we are because since we think it's currency,

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Speaker 4: we try to get our currency to match up to them.

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Speaker 4: But that's not what's value to us. To me, value

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Speaker 4: a sun, eating fresh food, and living the way.

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Speaker 1: I want to live. You know what I'm saying, I don't.

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Speaker 4: I don't value wars. I don't value owning an oil

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Speaker 4: field so that I can just make more money, to

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Speaker 4: say that I have more money than someone else.

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Speaker 1: That just isn't value. And I think we as a

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Speaker 1: people need to change our value systems.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you.

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Speaker 7: I had to have my little revolutions real quick. Y'all

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Speaker 7: might not know yet, but I'm brainwashing all right now.

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Speaker 8: Might not know what a doctor saying.

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Speaker 2: I'm want black. I can't stay that.

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Speaker 7: So before we get into the meat of this show,

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Speaker 7: I thought we've talked a lot about millennials delaying marriage,

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Speaker 7: people not getting married and not having kids. But I

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Speaker 7: saw something recently, and that recently that said men with

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Speaker 7: no kids and no plans for marriage are the fastest

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Speaker 7: growing demographic. I think we normally talk about it in

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Speaker 7: terms of women delaying marriage because they're focused on their

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Speaker 7: careers or they don't want to have kids. But now

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Speaker 7: they're saying sixty three percent of men under thirty are single,

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Speaker 7: and many are not actively looking to be married or

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Speaker 7: to have kids.

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Speaker 5: So opera, No, I interesting these.

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Speaker 2: Niggas is weak.

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Speaker 6: Say focus on yourself, King, I have a focus on yourself.

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Speaker 4: Let me ask a question a married man, say, y'all ladies,

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Speaker 4: because y'all are ladies right if you if you well,

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Speaker 4: you have sons?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 4: And you look at the climate the way they're talking

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Speaker 4: about marriage on social media and a women are equating

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Speaker 4: marriage to just money and all of the things a

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Speaker 4: man is supposed to do to make himself worthy to

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Speaker 4: be married to her, but it comes with no qualifications

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Speaker 4: for a woman. Why would you be in a rush

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Speaker 4: to get married if you was a man?

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Speaker 3: Oh, I completely get it, and I see that, and

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Speaker 3: having sons it makes me really kind of reassess things.

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Speaker 3: But I've also had the conversation with some women who

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Speaker 3: I know who are still single, and I've had very

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Speaker 3: candid conversations to say, hey, the type of man that

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Speaker 3: you want to pull.

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Speaker 5: Are you the type of woman that that kind of

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Speaker 5: man would want?

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Speaker 1: Well, what standard is that for a woman?

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Speaker 4: Because we have yet to hear on social media what

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Speaker 4: that standard is for a woman.

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Speaker 1: We know what the standard is for a man.

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Speaker 4: Got to be six foot, got to have six figures,

447
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,919
Speaker 4: got to have abs, you got to be able to

448
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,359
Speaker 4: fuck all day, you got to be emotionally aware and

449
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 4: secure and love God.

450
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 1: We know all the standards for a man that women require.

451
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 1: What is the standards for a woman?

452
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know, and social media is the wrong

453
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 5: place to try to find that too.

454
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 4: But that's why that's why more men are saying marriage

455
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 4: ain't worth it. Because also, if I marry you, you're.

456
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: Entitled to half of all of my assets.

457
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 4: So then what's the financial value for marriage in this

458
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 4: day and age unless you value marriage? See for me,

459
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 4: I don't listen to social media for my validations for

460
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 4: why I get married. I get married for my own

461
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 4: personal reasons and I don't need anybody else to tell

462
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 4: me why I need to value marriage. But if there's

463
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,680
Speaker 4: a generation of people who are not being raised by parents,

464
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 4: and they're being raised by these bots, and they're being

465
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 4: raised by phones, and they're being raised by messages on television.

466
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 5: And podcasts and not including ls. Try to give sound advice.

467
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 2: My sons. I'm raising y'all for real. Everybody listening.

468
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 1: You know.

469
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 4: I have a serious question though, because because Triple said

470
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,119
Speaker 4: these niggas is weak, what's the what is the value

471
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 4: proposition that makes marriage valuable to a man these days?

472
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 1: Based on everything we've seen in pop culture.

473
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 2: I think that if men want to continue.

474
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 7: The population of humans, you have to get married and

475
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 7: there you know, you can have kids.

476
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 2: You can, But I mean, how many women are going

477
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 2: to do that?

478
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 7: You know, if women are saying that men don't just

479
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 7: deserve pussy, they gotta pay for it. You don't deserve

480
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 7: my womb, you have to provide for it. Then you

481
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 7: do got to get married to have kids. So if

482
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 7: that's what you're looking for, So here's the thing, because

483
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,200
Speaker 7: y'all to put everything on men because they said this

484
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 7: stat also says they are not actively looking to marry or.

485
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 4: Have kids, right, so actively and they're not actively looking.

486
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 4: But you said, if women are saying, y'all don't deserve pussy,

487
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 4: you gotta pay for all, women aren't saying that, And

488
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 4: there's many of.

489
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 1: Women who are just giving it up.

490
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 4: So if you're a man and you don't value marriage,

491
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,679
Speaker 4: your kids, and there's plenty of women who only value

492
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 4: their jobs and they willing to give up the pussy

493
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 4: for a man, why would he get married?

494
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 3: If there's there's a contingent of women who also don't

495
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 3: want to get married and don't have children either. Some

496
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 3: women are out there just wanting to have a good

497
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:33,440
Speaker 3: time too.

498
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 4: And I'm saying, and I agree with you, So I'm

499
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,880
Speaker 4: saying is if those women exist and there are men

500
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 4: like that, why would what's the value proposition for a

501
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 4: man to get married?

502
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 1: If there's women out there that I can just have

503
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 1: frivolous sex.

504
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 7: Well, I think that invalidates your previous point because you're

505
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 7: saying that there are women who hold different ideals than

506
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 7: each other.

507
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:53,960
Speaker 2: So there are all women.

508
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 7: Aren't saying that men have to have a certain amount

509
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 7: of money or whatever to get married. There are women

510
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 7: who are dating below their pay grade. There are women

511
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 7: who are having kids out of wedlock. There are women

512
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 7: who aspire to marriage, who want to be traditional wives

513
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 7: or whatever that means. But sometimes either we're focusing on

514
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 7: the loud minority people are not. I think too, it's

515
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 7: the lack of the third space, the lack of like

516
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 7: in person social interaction, the lack of social skills that

517
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 7: people have.

518
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 2: We don't know how to talk to people.

519
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 7: Agree I more so than I see women, you know,

520
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,879
Speaker 7: saying that men need to have this, this, and that

521
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 7: on social media because my algorithm is probably different than yours.

522
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 7: I see women posting screenshots of their text messages with

523
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 7: men who have hissy fits when they're asked to plan

524
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 7: a date. Or if a woman says if a guy says,

525
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 7: can you hang out today and she says, no, you

526
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 7: can plan something for I'm available in a couple of

527
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 7: days and he says, well, this is why x y Z,

528
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 7: or a man says, you know you were I saw

529
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 7: a text message where a guy went to visit a

530
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 7: woman that he met online and she didn't pay for

531
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 7: his hotel she and he was mad, like, you should

532
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 7: have paid for my flight and you should I'll be

533
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 7: seeing stuff like that, So I think that it's a

534
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 7: lot of the loud minority that's sharing their stories. And

535
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 7: I also think that dating is a very modern concept,

536
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 7: like back in the day people married for convenience, when

537
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 7: women couldn't own property, when women couldn't vote, when they

538
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 7: couldn't really work, and now that that we have more choices,

539
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 7: I think that women are allowed to say what they

540
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 7: want and what they will tolerate from a man or

541
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:33,160
Speaker 7: from anybody that's asking them for their womb, for their time,

542
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 7: for their effort. So I think that's what's happening, and

543
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 7: men aren't used to that. Men aren't used to having

544
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 7: stipulations on what it takes to be a husband honestly

545
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 7: or to be with a cap cap.

546
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know.

547
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 7: Because I'm a lesbian, so I really can't say I can.

548
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 8: And it's hard to talk, but I got to point

549
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 8: this out. I get those I see those texts too.

550
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 7: Ben, Yeah, yeah, you on you on lesbian talk right.

551
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 3: Also seen women right in passing who are like, let

552
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 3: me hit up homeboy, because I know I can get

553
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 3: a meal and I can get you know, a back

554
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 3: or whatever this may be, depending on what they're in

555
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 3: the market for. Some women are the market just to

556
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 3: be wined and dined. You have to have the discernment

557
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 3: to be like, okay, is the kind is this the

558
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 3: kind of woman that I know? I want to either

559
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 3: date that I want to marry, that I don't want

560
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 3: to marry that I just want to have a good time.

561
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 1: With That's and that's my point. My point is they

562
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 1: are both. Let those jokers find each other each other.

563
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 4: Those jokers don't represent those people who want to get married.

564
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,199
Speaker 4: That's why I'm never going to place a blame on

565
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 4: any particular gender, because for every fuck boy you can find,

566
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 4: I can find.

567
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: A city girl. You know what I'm saying. So I'm

568
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: never going to.

569
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 4: Say, oh, it's the men, niggas ain't shit, because then

570
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 4: I can come up here and say, bitches ain't shit.

571
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to say that.

572
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 4: The women you date or the women you see that

573
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 4: are treating you that way. It's more about the women

574
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 4: you choose, not all the women on earth. And it's

575
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 4: the same thing for men. So you have a bunch

576
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 4: of texts of men who get hitsy fits. Why you

577
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 4: keep choosing men who have hissy fits? Why don't you

578
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 4: choose a man who is emotionally intelligent? You want to

579
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 4: know why they won't, because when you come across a

580
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:20,120
Speaker 4: man who is emotionally intelligent, who has boundaries, who has standards,

581
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 4: most women can't deal with that.

582
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 7: Well, these text messages be like it was the first

583
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 7: this happened like the first date. Yeah, it's like either

584
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 7: it's on the dating app or right before the first

585
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 7: day or right after the first day.

586
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,720
Speaker 3: What if people just be like trolling people like that

587
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 3: even sound and people tend to be a product of

588
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 3: their environment. So my office, considering that I have four boys,

589
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 3: my boys see de valin eye. They see also a

590
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 3: lot of married couples who we hang out with who

591
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,880
Speaker 3: also have children that they converse with and socialize with.

592
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 3: So I think the norm for my boys will be, Hey,

593
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 3: I want to have a healthy marriage with children. And

594
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 3: you know, Cairol will say it and I think it's

595
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 3: a joke, but I think he's dead as serious. He's like, yeah,

596
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 3: I want to have six kids. My wife and I

597
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 3: are going to hit a house and then you and

598
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 3: Daddy can live like and Papa, and I believe that

599
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 3: he will be that kid that will go into a

600
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 3: man who values that. So really it tends to be

601
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 3: to your point, babe, who you surround yourself with, the

602
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 3: type of people that you pick and if you're a man,

603
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,199
Speaker 3: that's just like you know what, I don't aspire to

604
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 3: be married and I want to be single and not

605
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 3: having any children.

606
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 5: Don't put nobody through. That's that trauma of doing the other.

607
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 1: That's the other side of it. I agree with you.

608
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 4: Like the people who are doing that and putting stuff

609
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,360
Speaker 4: on social media typically are looking for a response, They're

610
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 4: looking for engagement, So it's going to be the most

611
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 4: outland this thing. The same way dudes will put up that, Oh,

612
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 4: I asked you chick to go out.

613
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:45,679
Speaker 1: And she expects to do this.

614
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 4: I'm like, dude, you keep picking the same women. I'm

615
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 4: not going to keep having empathy for you. Let those

616
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 4: people who play those games play those games together. There

617
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 4: are a contingent of people. This is the percentages about

618
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 4: sixty nine percent of men.

619
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,239
Speaker 1: Who did they ask who?

620
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 4: Like, I want to know who's the sixty nine percent?

621
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 4: So you ask two thousand people. There are six billion,

622
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 4: no eight billion people in the world. You ask two

623
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,719
Speaker 4: thousand people, and now you're saying sixty nine percent of

624
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 4: men say this.

625
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,959
Speaker 1: That's not even one percent of the population that somebody

626
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: nobody asked.

627
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 5: And that's my nobody never asked me.

628
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: I'm no longer dealing with those those stats. We are as.

629
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 4: A community of people have to start realizing right that

630
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 4: there's a lot of bullshit on this freaking app.

631
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: There's a lot of bullshit on this freaking TV.

632
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 2: Right.

633
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 1: You have to look at your surroundings and say to yourself.

634
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 5: If I'm not surrounding as the bullshit.

635
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, non.

636
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 2: A mid life crisis.

637
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: Right.

638
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 4: If I'm not getting what I want out of my

639
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 4: life based on these people around me that I can touch,

640
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 4: I need to change change my environment and start blaming

641
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 4: the opposing gender because I can't find what I'm looking

642
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 4: for in a man or a woman. You know what

643
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 4: I'm saying, Like that conversation to me is freaking day sides.

644
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 4: That's absolutely because it's the same thing with dudes. I

645
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 4: got young boys that I'm mentoring now, and all they

646
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 4: keep showing me is bullshit about girls. And I keep saying, Yo,

647
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 4: you can't show me this when I know women who

648
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 4: don't act like this. You can't show me that now,

649
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 4: But coach the value ain't dating.

650
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: I know that I'm not dating.

651
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 4: I get that, but you're showing me the same type

652
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 4: of woman over and over and over.

653
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 8: Yeah, BS is the precursor for those stats like this.

654
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 8: The why those stats are what it is. After that,

655
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 8: I'm gonna be a passport bro, I'm gonna go to

656
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 8: you see Thailand, I'm gonna go to dr and I'm

657
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 8: gonna just live this life because this is what I

658
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 8: think is the answer to all the bs that I

659
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 8: see on.

660
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 5: Social media now when you're not even really existing in

661
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 5: real life.

662
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: And that's the problem with social media.

663
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 4: People think they know a lot because they can see

664
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 4: other parts of the world through their phone, but don't realize,

665
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 4: like Triple said, your algorithm is gonna send you what

666
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 4: you've already been looking at. So if I've been looking

667
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 4: at women doing fucked up shit to dudes, you know

668
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 4: what they're gonna keep sending me women are and then

669
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 4: I'm gonna start believing that this is all women when

670
00:29:58,880 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 4: that's not the case.

671
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: Like, Yo, there's eight billion people in the world.

672
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 4: Only six hundred and eighty million uses on X, so

673
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 4: that's less than one percent of the world's population.

674
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 6: It's on X.

675
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 4: But then we go to X and say, based on X,

676
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 4: that's not even a full like that's not even a

677
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 4: full sample size of what the whole world is going through.

678
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: So you can't even use that as an example.

679
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 4: That's why I'm starting to call bs on a lot

680
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 4: of these things right because I'm like, it just don't

681
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 4: make sense. So everybody in the world don't want to

682
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 4: get married. Everybody in the world just want to fuck

683
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 4: off and not make no money.

684
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: There's no way. I've seen too many good people, like,

685
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 1: too many good in arms reach to believe that.

686
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 3: He literally went to a birthday party for a good

687
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 3: friend of ours two weeks ago, a fortieth birthday party.

688
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 3: And let me tell you about the number of black married,

689
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 3: happy couples.

690
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 5: That in that room.

691
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 3: Matt was there with his wife, yeah, loving on each other,

692
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 3: having a good time, husbands, you know, having any conversations,

693
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 3: wives on the dance floor. Then they get to get

694
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 3: on the dance floor like we had a time in

695
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 3: that space because we surround ourselves with the same kind

696
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 3: of like minded people who aspire to continue in happy

697
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 3: married lifestyles.

698
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 5: So you got to change your circumstance in your environment,

699
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 5: for sure.

700
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 2: Must be nice.

701
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 1: Come on, come over to the dark side of marriage.

702
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 8: Man.

703
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: When we're happy, happy.

704
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 4: Now, it ain't as much engagement when you post a

705
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 4: happy picture on social media, people be pissed.

706
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: Should be posted. I hate my wife on social media.

707
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't forget it.

708
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

709
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 8: I get more engagement when I post my wife and

710
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 8: my stuff. If I post that that, I get more.

711
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 8: It's a weird situation that.

712
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 5: Because you don't post your wife often.

713
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 1: No, it's not that.

714
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 8: It's probably because the people that follow me want to

715
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 8: see that.

716
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 3: True, you are a wedding for you want to see

717
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 3: a happily married because yeah, that makes sense.

718
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 1: You're on your pages. Look, you guys get more engagement

719
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: on your stuff.

720
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 8: That's if podcasts related, when it's you'll get more stuff

721
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 8: when it's yachu or family related than than the other thing.

722
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 4: Absolutely, But I tell you like this, go to the

723
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 4: shade room and let them post good black news of

724
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 4: the day and them comments be at sixty seven comments. Wait,

725
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 4: this was eighteen hours ago, good black news and it's

726
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 4: sixty seven comments.

727
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 1: But let them post something salacious it's five fifty fifteen minutes.

728
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 5: Absolutely, you know what I'm saying.

729
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 4: It's like people are drawn to negativity, and I'm not

730
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 4: gonna let them The conversation continue to be something negative

731
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 4: about love and marriage.

732
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: I've seen too many good marriages recently, especially.

733
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 4: Going to Martha's Vineyard and meeting all of these super

734
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 4: successful black people there with families, and their families are

735
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 4: building and their young kids are talking to other young kids,

736
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 4: and I'm like, see if they if they started a

737
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 4: Martha's Vineyard page with all of the success and the

738
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 4: love going on there, it'd be a different algorithm.

739
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you know what I'm saying.

740
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 3: It's almost like things like that that are still a

741
00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 3: good places, keep that off social them little pockets of happiness.

742
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 5: Just keep them pockets of happiness.

743
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 7: I was just thinking about this, like, man, I bet

744
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 7: I would get a lot of engagement if I had

745
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 7: a girlfriend that just wanted to do pranks.

746
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 2: I hate, I hate the stuff with that. Let's do

747
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 2: some pranks, man, I.

748
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 5: Come on, triple, who wants to do pranks?

749
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 2: I hate pranks, but.

750
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 4: Gotta look so bad for I'll give you a perfect example.

751
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 4: Remember when me and the funny salesman prank them in bet.

752
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 5: Oh Yeah BT Weekend BTV.

753
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 4: And then the funny salesman did a whole We set

754
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 4: up the whole thing. We did three stories and it

755
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 4: was all negative. I think it got eleven million views.

756
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 4: Eleven he does positive stuff for trying to help people

757
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 4: all the time, and it averages about two hundred and

758
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 4: fifty thousand. But then he asked me if I want

759
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 4: to do a skit, and I said, We're gonna have

760
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 4: to do something different because I'm a nice guy and

761
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 4: you're a nice guy. They're not going to believe anything

762
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 4: is going to happen if you're just nice, and so

763
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 4: let's do something different.

764
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: And we did that skit where I didn't want to buy.

765
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 4: It got eleven million views because negative I didn't even

766
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 4: watch it.

767
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 2: I couldn't even watch it because I loved that guy.

768
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 2: I was like, this is so mean.

769
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 1: Mom was like the vow man like.

770
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,359
Speaker 3: I was like, it's a skip and there were something

771
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 3: people that still to this day probably didn't even realize

772
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:13,959
Speaker 3: that was a skin.

773
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: I took him a couple of weeks.

774
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 4: Finally people d m me on Facebook like was he

775
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 4: really being mean to that guy?

776
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,839
Speaker 1: I was like, Yo, they call the cops. It was crazy.

777
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 8: A few days later after go back, I was like,

778
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:26,320
Speaker 8: oh my bad, bro, I was just joking.

779
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,280
Speaker 1: It's not really I don't realize that people didn't realize

780
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 1: that it wasn't real.

781
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 4: But that was just shows you how much they run

782
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 4: to negativity that I'm looking for negativity.

783
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 1: So you couldn't watch it.

784
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 3: There's a lot of people they were waiting for that

785
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 3: was always so positive.

786
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 5: How we caught him now he's been knew that he was.

787
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,760
Speaker 4: Then then they got mad when he made a follow

788
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 4: up video saying that it was a skit.

789
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 1: Then all the comments. We knew it was a skit

790
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,919
Speaker 1: the whole time. You didn't, I know, you didn't. Y'all

791
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:55,399
Speaker 1: didn't know it.

792
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,240
Speaker 6: Was a skit for nothing.

793
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 1: I had a mic on bro. Yeah, to this day,

794
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 1: it still blows my mind. People and nuts.

795
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 2: So y'all, y'all have.

796
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:09,799
Speaker 7: Followed the tradition of being married and being parents, But

797
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 7: so I want to know, like what traditions are you

798
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 7: breaking from now that you have your own families, you

799
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 7: got your own minds.

800
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we came up with a couple because

801
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 3: we were talking about this pre show and you know,

802
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,919
Speaker 3: something more lighthearted little things, and then others are more like, wow,

803
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 3: this can really change the trajectory of our family dynamics

804
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 3: moving forward.

805
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 1: So I put together a little one.

806
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 3: Two, like just figured like the top three things. Like

807
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 3: you guys can even come up with like one or

808
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,280
Speaker 3: two things within your family.

809
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 5: But my first one was oh, story time, yes.

810
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 1: But also just not sending my kids away for the summer.

811
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, like that's that was a tradition that we changed

812
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 4: because I felt like even as a kid, I wasn't

813
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 4: with my family on my parents all year round. They

814
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 4: were at work and I was at school. So I'm

815
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 4: all from school and I'm with my grandparents. When do

816
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 4: I ever spend time with my parents? And with Jackson, kyro,

817
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 4: Kaz and Dakota. Last year we noticed on Dakota was

818
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 4: a little speech delay, which what we thought, and then

819
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 4: Kav struggled with some confidence issues. So we were very

820
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 4: deliberate about spending time with them this summer and we

821
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 4: watched how they've just excelled in every aspect of life

822
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,879
Speaker 4: just by confidence being able to say hey Dad, hey dad,

823
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 4: or mom, can.

824
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: You teach me this?

825
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 4: So a tradition we broke was just sending our kids

826
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,359
Speaker 4: away to someone else for the summer. We want our

827
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,239
Speaker 4: kids to be with us, and rather than us going

828
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 4: away on our own mommy daddy vacation, let's all do

829
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,399
Speaker 4: something together as a family and build that way.

830
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, that and that for me, it's just

831
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 3: first off as a quick side note, It's been amazing

832
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 3: to see how when you're deliberate with that time, how

833
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 3: much the kids are like so locked in, and a

834
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 3: part of it has to almost be like a programming

835
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 3: that we had to a programming process we had to

836
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 3: put them through because we didn't realize how much just

837
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 3: even having my parents live in with us, it also

838
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 3: kind of negate some of the things that Deval and

839
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 3: I stand for and want to do, just because they're

840
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 3: being grandma and grandpa. So that kind of rule with

841
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 3: an iron fist and the discipline. Like Daval said recently,

842
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 3: what did you say you were The more you were,

843
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 3: the more I'm the more lenient parents. You're more lenient parent, right,

844
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 3: I guess depending on what.

845
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: Depending on what. When it comes to school, because school,

846
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 1: I'll be on top of them kids too.

847
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, but you know, make it mom.

848
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 1: No I am not.

849
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 6: That you ain't never go I'm.

850
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 4: Not a Jamaica. I find ways with school to make

851
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 4: it fun. Yeah, they're gonna box their kid.

852
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 5: My favorite clip from last season was Josh.

853
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: Like, what what what?

854
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 5: That's exactly how we are. What you think about you

855
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 5: think you about it?

856
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 4: You know, so in this tradition waking up and going

857
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:53,879
Speaker 4: to bed like she's still mom.

858
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: So I'm just like, yo, we gotta wake up. We

859
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 1: got training sleep less night. Let him get it.

860
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 4: And know as a dad, I'm like, Yo, we said

861
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 4: we're gonna get up into the clock. We need to

862
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 4: get up at ten o'clock going to.

863
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 1: Bed at night.

864
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 4: I'm like, yo, we got to be up in the morning,

865
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 4: so y'all need to go to sleep. She's like, you

866
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 4: know what, this school doesn't start for another four days,

867
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I thought the kitchen was closed at

868
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 4: eleven o'clock. She's making biscuits, honey.

869
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 3: I'm just holding on so much to it because I'm

870
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 3: the I'm I'm probably on the side of parents who

871
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 3: are like not excited for their kids to go back

872
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 3: to school. Like I absolutely loved all the time that

873
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,720
Speaker 3: we spent together this summer, and part of me felt

874
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 3: like a bit of a sadness with knowing that it

875
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 3: was coming to an end and we have to start

876
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 3: the routine of school again.

877
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 4: So I think too, but I'm happy they're going back

878
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 4: to school because yeah, like it's a lot, and I

879
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 4: guess it's because I'm the dad and that have four

880
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,879
Speaker 4: boys and everything.

881
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 3: All the sports stuff and then being active is a

882
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 3: lot of dad. But then when they're done doing that

883
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 3: is mom, what's what do you mean you for lunch?

884
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 5: Mom? What are you for dinner? I'm like, all the

885
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 5: meals are on me. But when it comes to the

886
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 5: breaking tradition.

887
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 3: So the first thing that came to mind for me

888
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 3: was the tradition of always spending with extended family. Like

889
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 3: we realized. Maybe it was like a year or two ago.

890
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 3: I want to say it was Thanksgiving twenty twenty three.

891
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 3: Kaz and Dakota were celebrating their birthdays that month, and

892
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 3: I said, Babe, why don't we do something different this

893
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 3: year instead of just getting around a table with a

894
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 3: bunch of food that we don't even really eat no

895
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 3: more to congregate with family, Let's do something different. Let's

896
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 3: take the kids away. And we took them to Mexico

897
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 3: for Thanksgiving break, and we realized, like a part of

898
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 3: me felt guilty for a second because I'm like, you know,

899
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 3: his family's reaching out, like what's the plans for Thanksgiving?

900
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 3: Or you know, we want to come down my brotherroom's sister, like,

901
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 3: you know, we want to come down for Thanksgiving? And

902
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 3: I kind of had to be like, you know what, no,

903
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 3: we're gonna try something different this year. And we took

904
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 3: the kids away to Mexico. We had a non traditional,

905
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 3: you know, Thanksgiving. There wasn't no turkey, there weren't no greens,

906
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 3: there wasn't no oxtill. Yeah, we had Guacamolean tacos and

907
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,320
Speaker 3: the SpongeBob cake because we took them to the Nickelodeon resort.

908
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 3: But it was it almost felt made me feel comfortable

909
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 3: about giving us permission to do something different that wasn't

910
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 3: a contingent upon our extended family and what they were

911
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 3: a feel by not having us there for Thanksgiving. So

912
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,839
Speaker 3: the happy medium was the following Thanksgiving, which was last year.

913
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 3: We ended up going to see Nanny and Papa John,

914
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 3: and then we had the traditional Thanksgiving where we ate

915
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 3: the turkey and the greens and the dressing and.

916
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 5: Jackson was like, damn, no food was good, which was nice.

917
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 3: So it's finding the balance between creating our own family

918
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 3: traditions around holidays versus making sure that we're continuing what

919
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 3: our parents did years ago.

920
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,240
Speaker 1: And I think it's also creating your own nuclear family tradition.

921
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 4: We struggled when we first started dating, she had her

922
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 4: own nuclear family tradition on Chris Christmas and I had mine. Yeah,

923
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 4: And we had a huge argument one time because we

924
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 4: spent so much time in her family one time that

925
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 4: we didn't get a chance. We went to go to

926
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 4: my aunt Debbie's house and everyone was leaving.

927
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: Because we got there late and it was Thanksgiving. That

928
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: was Thanksgiving. We got to a point where were like,

929
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: we can't do this.

930
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 4: We have to figure out what works for us and

931
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,800
Speaker 4: if they'll come to us, and that ended up becoming

932
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 4: a thing. Now we go to Jamaica for New Year,

933
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 4: where in the past we used to be like we

934
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 4: have to be with our family to bring in the Yeah,

935
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 4: we're going to do it in America where everyone's there,

936
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 4: And we were like, you know what, we don't want

937
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 4: to bring the New Year in America. We want to

938
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 4: be in a different part of the world, do something different.

939
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 4: And now both of our parents join us with our kids.

940
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 3: That's like the holiday gift for our parents. So it's

941
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 3: like instead of buying y'all something for Christmas, it's the

942
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 3: experience of we're going to ring in the New Year

943
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 3: with the kids having their grandparents and their parents close by,

944
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,320
Speaker 3: and we do it in different places like this year.

945
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:25,839
Speaker 6: Stand out way more.

946
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 3: Now, that's what I'm thinking they do versus just like

947
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 3: a meal. It's like we had a whole experience around this,

948
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 3: you know. So that's one thing that I saw that

949
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 3: we were breaking as a tradition that I felt guilty

950
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 3: for at first, but now I'm kind of like, kind

951
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 3: of like this.

952
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,799
Speaker 4: One thing I say that that's important too, is we

953
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 4: also don't shame our family for breaking traditions. Like my

954
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,240
Speaker 4: brother just got married and he has two bonus children

955
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,879
Speaker 4: where he hates saying bone children and they his kids kids. Yeah,

956
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:52,399
Speaker 4: but Father's Day came around and I was like, Yo,

957
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 4: we're all gonna be down here Papa school.

958
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 1: And now now he was like, man, you know they

959
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: planning things for me.

960
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 4: And rather than being like, oh, we're so now you're

961
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,399
Speaker 4: going to do something now, I was just Oh, that's

962
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 4: what's up, you know. And it's like allowing them to

963
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 4: create their own traditions creates a safe space where we

964
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 4: don't guilty each other for creating our own memories with

965
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 4: our own kids. So I think I think that's important

966
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 4: that we do for our friends as well. Plus I

967
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 4: got one that I know all of well, you two

968
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 4: especially will remember. I don't know if you grew up

969
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 4: like this, trible, but I used to go to church

970
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 4: four days a week, every week, every week, and I

971
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 4: don't even go to church every Sunday anymore. And that

972
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:28,399
Speaker 4: is a tradition that I broke purposely. Like, and I'm

973
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,959
Speaker 4: not anti church, I'm not anti spirituality. I'm definitely pro God,

974
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 4: pro spirituality. But go into a building every from Wednesday

975
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 4: to Sunday and spending most of my time there trying

976
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 4: to appease people who are super judgmental is no longer

977
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 4: part of my life.

978
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 6: To Yeah, you just get tired of it after a while.

979
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:52,920
Speaker 6: And it's not to say, oh, I don't believe in

980
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 6: God anymore. I don't believe in the system of church.

981
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 6: I'm just tired of this.

982
00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 3: That that happened there. Yeah, especially as you get older,

983
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 3: because you know, I grew up also going to church

984
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 3: with my grandmother and grandfather, often an Adventist church. And

985
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 3: when you're younger, it's cool you go to Sabbath School.

986
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 3: It's a great place to kind of congregate and socialize

987
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 3: with other kids and whatnot. You learn a little bit

988
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,759
Speaker 3: about the word, and for me sometimes it was just

989
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 3: like the fear of like, oh my god, I'm going.

990
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 5: To go to hell, like you know. So you go

991
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 5: through those days.

992
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 3: You literally learned that, and then you get to a

993
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,399
Speaker 3: point where you're old enough to kind of like start

994
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 3: to see people for who they are, and it's just

995
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 3: like you're not quite walking in the path that is righteous,

996
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 3: or you're not practicing what you preach, so I can

997
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:34,919
Speaker 3: see why.

998
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 5: And then you had all the extracurricular church stuff.

999
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 3: So there was the other activities, not just church on Sunday,

1000
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 3: but all the other.

1001
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 4: Wednesday, Council, Thursday, Boys Boy Scouts, Friday was Junior Choir rehearsal,

1002
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 4: Saturday morning was Junior Layman, the Sunday was church. So

1003
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 4: that's like every day other than Monday Tuesday that I

1004
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 4: was in church, and it was my whole life. And

1005
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 4: I know people always say this, well, you don't not

1006
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 4: go to the high hospital because everybody is sick. You

1007
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying, You should still go to church

1008
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 4: even though everyone is sick. I say, yeah, if I'm

1009
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 4: going to receive something, I know for a fact that

1010
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,320
Speaker 4: there are people in my family who no longer receive

1011
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,320
Speaker 4: what they're looking for in church, but they still go,

1012
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:16,920
Speaker 4: and they complain and bitch and moan about it, and

1013
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm not going to do that. You don't

1014
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 4: like that guy that's leading the church, but you still go.

1015
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 4: You still give your ten percent out of loyalty to God.

1016
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 4: God never said to be loyal to a church ever

1017
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 4: to find the right church home. But in the Bible

1018
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 4: it also says three out of four church homes are

1019
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:32,439
Speaker 4: going to do it wrong.

1020
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 1: So you just being loyal to a church home because

1021
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 1: your family's tradition was to do that. That's not something

1022
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 1: I believe in.

1023
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 4: So, you know, unless and we may find a church home,

1024
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 4: because I'm not against that, we may find a church

1025
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 4: home soon that we say, yo, we go here every Sunday,

1026
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,919
Speaker 4: But as of right now, I don't.

1027
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: I don't have any church.

1028
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 6: And a piece of that is starting to learn for

1029
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 6: yourself some of the teachings because a lot of teachings

1030
00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 6: that we learned in church were they misunderstood it when

1031
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 6: they were taught. So they're just preaching misunderstanding true and

1032
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 6: adamant about it. So you and when you get older,

1033
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 6: you start to zoom out and they learned this for myself.

1034
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 6: I don't need to be there every week, but I

1035
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 6: could still find a way to connect with God right and.

1036
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 3: There's a way to do it too, Like I also

1037
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 3: grow I also grew up and this is where we

1038
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 3: met when we talk about He and I, you know,

1039
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 3: first going to the same school together, Bethlely in Baptist Academy.

1040
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 3: My parents at the time too, because my mother grew

1041
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 3: up in the church in Jamaica and she was at

1042
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:31,320
Speaker 3: church every single day as well. She also when she

1043
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 3: grew up, was like, Okay, I'm not going to do

1044
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 3: that to my children. But in order to have them

1045
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:37,879
Speaker 3: somewhat rooted in the foundation learning about God was sending

1046
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 3: them to a school where on a daily basis we

1047
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 3: learned about God and religion and like all of the

1048
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,839
Speaker 3: foundational things that you needed to have in.

1049
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 5: Conjunction with school.

1050
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 3: So for us to now have our children in a

1051
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 3: Christian school, it's giving them the opportunity to be rooted

1052
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,879
Speaker 3: in that on a I guess like a fundamental level.

1053
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 3: So then at home we see it as parents for

1054
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 3: us to do devotion with them or to have small

1055
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:02,919
Speaker 3: lessons and to get them the tools that they need

1056
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,439
Speaker 3: to kind of bridge the gap between what they're learning

1057
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 3: in school and having Bible classes and then doing the

1058
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 3: work at home as well.

1059
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we went.

1060
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,919
Speaker 7: I grew up in an Apostolic church. My mom left

1061
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 7: the church maybe like right before she turned forty, so

1062
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 7: I was like nine, and I started going back to

1063
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,720
Speaker 7: church in high school myself, like by myself.

1064
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 6: But did you go back to Apostolic church?

1065
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:23,759
Speaker 2: No?

1066
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 7: Hell no, that's my point because I I'm like, I

1067
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:28,320
Speaker 7: ain't wearing no damn skirt every day.

1068
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 2: Like you got me messed up. Apostolic church. You gotta

1069
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 2: wear a skirt to your ankles. That used to be

1070
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 2: this girl not all.

1071
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 6: So some organizations are stricter than others. Right then you

1072
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 6: also have you also have American Apostolics, and you also

1073
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 6: have Jamaican Apostolics. So I'm the way stricter than It

1074
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 6: depends on organizations and stuff.

1075
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 7: Yeah, bro, At the church we went to, it's a

1076
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 7: you had to wear a skirt to your ankles. There

1077
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 7: was this girl that was my age, and she was

1078
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:59,360
Speaker 7: like really a stone coaster, like if she wasn't in church,

1079
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 7: she was a tomboy to the she was wearing this

1080
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 7: damn skirts. She probably still got this skirt on today.

1081
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 7: I'm like, take the skirt, put some basketball shorts on.

1082
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 7: The kind of looked like shorts. I mean, it kind

1083
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,800
Speaker 7: of looked like skirt. No no, And people really choose

1084
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 7: not to so I did. I didn't want to do that.

1085
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,919
Speaker 7: I broke away from that tradition of like strict uh

1086
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 7: religion and then like nobody really likes you when you

1087
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 7: always bible thumping at him.

1088
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 2: You know, people didn't want to come over my house.

1089
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 7: My cousins never wanted to spend the night because they

1090
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 7: be like, we ain't going to church.

1091
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 2: We can't, we can't do.

1092
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 4: My My family was like that because everybody in my

1093
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 4: family was either an apostle.

1094
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 1: Or a pastor or deacon. Some of my friends was

1095
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: just like, man, I ain't going to your house because

1096
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,279
Speaker 1: about going to church, and I ain't trying to hear that.

1097
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:52,280
Speaker 1: That's a fact.

1098
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 6: That's the fact. Because I remember going trying to go

1099
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 6: outside to play basketball one time with my neighbor and

1100
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 6: my dad was like, Noah, they got to come over

1101
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 6: here and this Sunday school lesson, like you do, you're

1102
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 6: not going outside to play basketball then unless they come here,

1103
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 6: like nobody's ever coming here to do.

1104
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 1: Are you serious? Wow?

1105
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 6: Serious?

1106
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 4: As a parent, I understand that your parents want to

1107
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,760
Speaker 4: know children are around.

1108
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,720
Speaker 6: I get that because my next door neighbor.

1109
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:20,319
Speaker 4: But yeah, wow, you know, come on, you see them

1110
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 4: every days.

1111
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 1: Come on, man.

1112
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 5: But that's but that's the maybe just trying to spread

1113
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 5: the word.

1114
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:30,399
Speaker 6: But then there's streames. So they're like, nah, I'm good,

1115
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 6: I'm not that's with y'all no more, because he's just

1116
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 6: gonna be preaching down on me. You're not doing this,

1117
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 6: You're not doing that right.

1118
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 4: I'm glad you brought this up because it brings me

1119
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 4: to the next tradition that we broke.

1120
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 1: I no longer tell my kids call so and so.

1121
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 4: I make it a point to tell the elders in

1122
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 4: our family if you want to have a relationship.

1123
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 1: With my children.

1124
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 4: It goes both ways, because I grew up with my

1125
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 4: my mother telling me did you call so?

1126
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 1: Did you call so and so? And I'm like, they

1127
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 1: never called me? Here a child called them?

1128
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 3: And this day mean yeah, yeah. And I only do

1129
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 3: that with Jackson for example. If I know, like, for example,

1130
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 3: somebody reached out to him, was like, oh how is

1131
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 3: jack I text him a couple of times I didn't

1132
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:09,399
Speaker 3: hear back from him.

1133
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 5: But they also.

1134
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 3: Understand, like he's fourteen, Like they're not going to engage

1135
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 3: in like a long.

1136
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 5: Back and forth text with most Yeah. Yeah, and then

1137
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 5: they have the relationship with who they have the relationship.

1138
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 3: But so to your point, the adults who want to

1139
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 3: invest in those relationships with our children do.

1140
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you said it though you said that.

1141
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 4: They said, I've reached out to Jacks a couple of times,

1142
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 4: you know, reached me back.

1143
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 1: I tell Jacks then too, like you got to.

1144
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:31,640
Speaker 5: Respond, You got to respond exactly.

1145
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:33,400
Speaker 4: But I'm not just telling Jack you'll pick up your

1146
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 4: phone and call so and so, right, not if that

1147
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,799
Speaker 4: person has never reached out right. He and my mom

1148
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 4: got into an argument about this because I felt that pressure.

1149
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 5: My mother used to tell me the same thing, anything, call.

1150
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 1: Your uncle Coley, your grandfather, and I'm like, bro, my

1151
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 1: birthday past three years, I never heard. He never heard

1152
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 1: from my right, and I stopped.

1153
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 3: And my mom's biggest thing was you never wanted to

1154
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 3: reach a point where you need somebody for something and

1155
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 3: then you have to call out of necessity because you

1156
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 3: need something. You should be maintaining relationships with people, and

1157
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,800
Speaker 3: it's a part of teaching children how to just maintain

1158
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:03,359
Speaker 3: relationships in general.

1159
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 5: So until don't wait until you need or want something.

1160
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 3: You should have an ongoing relationship with certain people so

1161
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 3: that way you can feel comfortable if it does happen

1162
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 3: where you need help, you can call. I have cousins

1163
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 3: in my family. I'm the oldest on my mother's side,

1164
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 3: and there's fifteen or sixteen of us, and I have

1165
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:22,879
Speaker 3: cousins who my aunts will sometimes say, Oh, I told

1166
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 3: such and such to reach out to you because they're

1167
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 3: trying to get this done or they wanted some advice

1168
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 3: on this. And I can tell that they don't even

1169
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 3: feel comfortable to reach out to me because we don't

1170
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 3: have that relationship.

1171
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 2: I have.

1172
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 5: Out of the fifteen of.

1173
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 3: Them, maybe four who will just reach out to me randomly,

1174
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:37,919
Speaker 3: even to that and be like, Yo, what's up hey,

1175
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:39,360
Speaker 3: checking on you, how's the family?

1176
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:42,240
Speaker 5: Real quick? Yes, real quick?

1177
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 3: Like there's certain ones who do do that, but then

1178
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 3: there's ones who probably can't even fix their fingers to

1179
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 3: text me and ask me for something because they don't

1180
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 3: even know.

1181
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 5: They don't hit me up regularly.

1182
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 1: Here's the crazy part.

1183
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:54,359
Speaker 4: You have cousins, and I have cousins that we don't

1184
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 4: even have to have a relationship.

1185
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 1: If I can help you, I'm a helper.

1186
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 4: Absolutely, relationship with me, just because later on you might

1187
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,320
Speaker 4: want need something. Maintain a relationship, because that's the relationship

1188
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 4: you want to have, right absolutely.

1189
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: Like it should it shouldn't be like quid pro quote

1190
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:10,840
Speaker 1: right exactly.

1191
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 5: Here's how it goes is family. This is what we

1192
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 5: need to do because I'm going to help regardless if

1193
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 5: I can. That's just our makeup.

1194
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:16,319
Speaker 3: You know.

1195
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 6: I got one small one based off of that. The

1196
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 6: tradition of just telling your kids to do stuff without

1197
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 6: explaining it, explain the reasoning behind, because half of the

1198
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 6: stuff we ever learned as kids, we would just yell

1199
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 6: at you have to do this, this is you at.

1200
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 5: Why epis today, Matt. But no, you're right.

1201
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 3: It actually piggybacks off of one of mine that I had,

1202
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 3: and mine was children must be seen and not heard.

1203
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 3: That's the tradition that we're breaking. I want to hear

1204
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,879
Speaker 3: from my children. I want to see how they are,

1205
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:49,839
Speaker 3: I want to feel how they feel. I want them

1206
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 3: to express how they feel. So that's actually really spot

1207
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,359
Speaker 3: on when it comes to mind. It's like we are

1208
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,359
Speaker 3: trying to raise children who are emotionally intelligent, who can

1209
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 3: express how they feel, who can have empathy for others,

1210
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 3: like I want my children to be heard.

1211
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 4: Now, I do have to give some cultural context as

1212
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 4: to why, because I asked my grandmother why that was

1213
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 4: a thing. Right, all I'm gonna say is admit till

1214
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 4: m h true. In the forties, fifties, sixties, and seventies,

1215
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,359
Speaker 4: young black people men and women, but particularly black men

1216
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:23,399
Speaker 4: were not allowed to have opinions or ideas because if

1217
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 4: they share them to the wrong person, they could find

1218
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 4: themselves hanging from a tree.

1219
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 1: Lynchings were very real.

1220
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 4: And most of the time it was outspoken black males

1221
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 4: that they wanted to make a point. Oh you know

1222
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 4: what I'm saying to say, Listen, if you act like this,

1223
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 4: this is how you'll end up. So when I ask

1224
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 4: my grandmother why you raised us to not say nothing,

1225
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 4: she said, my job while you was here for eight

1226
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:48,280
Speaker 4: weeks was to get you back home to your family safely.

1227
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 4: And I don't need you talking back to the wrong person,

1228
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 4: and I can't send you back to your path.

1229
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 3: Especially know when a kid like you, for example, who

1230
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 3: was out spoken. She literally said, specifically, you devour, get you.

1231
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get you in trouble. You know what?

1232
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 4: I asked my grandmother one time, she slapped the shit

1233
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 4: out of me.

1234
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: The dog shit.

1235
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,800
Speaker 5: Nothing surprises me, if as a kid anymore.

1236
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 4: She's like, boys come inside, right, so we all come inside.

1237
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 4: And she was just like, didn't I tell y'all we

1238
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 4: got up early, we're supposed to get it.

1239
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 1: We had chores we had to do. We had to

1240
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 1: moto lawn and trim everything.

1241
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 4: Now, mind you, we was ten to thirteen years old,

1242
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,080
Speaker 4: so I was about twelve, because Brian was ten twelve,

1243
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 4: davarn is thirteen. Didn't I tell y'all to moldo lawn?

1244
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 4: Didn't I tell you do this stuff before y'all started

1245
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,240
Speaker 4: to go playing? I said, then I got a question.

1246
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 4: She said, what I said, you believe in God? She said,

1247
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 4: where are you going with this?

1248
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 1: Deval? I said, just have a question. I can't ask

1249
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 1: a question because we do.

1250
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 4: Bible study like every night, every night, and my Grandpather said,

1251
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:43,320
Speaker 4: to be the Bible study.

1252
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:43,879
Speaker 1: She said yes.

1253
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 4: I said, you say you claim and this is way

1254
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 4: I got slapped. I said, you claim to believe in God?

1255
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 4: But you also taught us that if we all come

1256
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 4: together in groups of two or three and more and pray,

1257
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 4: all things will happen.

1258
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:57,319
Speaker 1: How come we can't just pray that the lawn get

1259
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 1: mold while we got to go mowed. She said, Bow

1260
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 1: didn't even let me finish. She said, don't play with me,

1261
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:03,359
Speaker 1: and don't play with God.

1262
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 4: Right now, you know how you know she slapped the

1263
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 4: ship out. Now, my grandmother never hit us with her hand.

1264
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:13,760
Speaker 4: She hit us with a flya swatter, shoe, a belt.

1265
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 4: But she felt so disrespected by that question. And then

1266
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:25,319
Speaker 4: I followed it up and I said, the fact that

1267
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 4: I got slapped me, you really don't believe in God?

1268
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:29,280
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

1269
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 4: My grandfather said, he came in there with that belt,

1270
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:36,840
Speaker 4: he laid into me. Did he beat you like like?

1271
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 4: We said, like that beat me like that? He was

1272
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 4: just like his blasphemy.

1273
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 5: You probably you can't tell.

1274
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:45,840
Speaker 4: He was definitely like, knowing what I know now, he

1275
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 4: wasn't really trying to be hard on me.

1276
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,800
Speaker 1: He was doing what he needed to do to separate

1277
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:50,880
Speaker 1: me from my grandmother.

1278
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 4: Now, but listening to her, her fear was that one

1279
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:56,480
Speaker 4: of her kids would not be home because they talked

1280
00:54:56,520 --> 00:54:56,959
Speaker 4: too much.

1281
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 1: So the way they raised us was out of fear.

1282
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 4: So well, now since those fears aren't the same, lynchings

1283
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 4: aren't a thing that happen. And I'm not going to

1284
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 4: say ever, because they still happen, and it may not

1285
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 4: be a lynching where they hang you from a tree,

1286
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 4: but you still see young black kids and it's not

1287
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 4: just boys now, young black women.

1288
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 1: Who are speaking back to cops like Assandra Bland.

1289
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 4: What's the other young lady who tried to speak up

1290
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 4: for our friend and she was murdered by cops. It's

1291
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:24,799
Speaker 4: things like that that have black parents afraid to let

1292
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,719
Speaker 4: their kids speak up, you know what I'm saying. And

1293
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 4: I just want to add that historical context because I

1294
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 4: don't want people to think that our parents were just

1295
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 4: these evil, mean people who wanted to silence us. They

1296
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 4: grew up at a different time with the consequences were grave, absolutely,

1297
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 4: you know, but as things change now, we're making those

1298
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 4: adjustments so that our children are more vocal, you know, so.

1299
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,400
Speaker 3: Right and still within reason, because our children also know

1300
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 3: that you can say what you want to say within

1301
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 3: the realms of spaces you feel safe, you know, respecting

1302
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 3: authority as well too, because they are still for black

1303
00:55:57,239 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 3: young men who will be in this world. So you

1304
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 3: have to have the descernment and know you know when

1305
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 3: and where has the time and place.

1306
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 4: From my uncle Frank. Yeah, because my uncle Frank's my godfather,

1307
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,840
Speaker 4: my guy. He he is the guy who used to

1308
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 4: take me to Roy Rogers and let me express how

1309
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:21,400
Speaker 4: I feel about stuff and never judge a shame me Rogers,

1310
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 4: disrespect I was born in nineteen ninety one, that's freak.

1311
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:33,160
Speaker 1: Broy Rogers used to be in eighty four right where

1312
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 1: that Wendy's used to be.

1313
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 5: That was it's still there right now.

1314
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 4: It used to be a Rogers, and it was like

1315
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 4: you know how when you're traveling down ninety five and

1316
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,719
Speaker 4: you go into a rest stop and they have chicken wings, burgers,

1317
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:48,879
Speaker 4: hot dogs, fries. It actually have all of those type

1318
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 4: of foods, but you guy should get like a Boston

1319
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 4: Market type of meal and sit down and eat it

1320
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 4: at a fast food rest Yeah.

1321
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 1: And he would let me explain how I felt. But

1322
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 1: then he would also.

1323
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 4: Say he's got a deep voice like this, You know, son,

1324
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:04,440
Speaker 4: there's always a time in the place, and there's always

1325
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:04,799
Speaker 4: a way.

1326
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 1: Your biggest issue is.

1327
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 4: Not what you're saying, it's how you're saying it. And

1328
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 4: I had to learn that you know what I'm saying.

1329
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,480
Speaker 4: And I think that's part of the reason why our

1330
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 4: parents were so like, until you learn how to say it,

1331
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:20,439
Speaker 4: you get popped in the mouth.

1332
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 1: But how do you teach them exactly?

1333
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 2: That was what I was going to say.

1334
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 7: More dangerous for you not to allow your kids to

1335
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:31,920
Speaker 7: speak up and for you not to give them language

1336
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 7: for how they feel, because then kids grow up to

1337
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 7: be adults who act out. Kids who act out grow

1338
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:39,960
Speaker 7: up to be adults who act out because they don't

1339
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 7: know how to say what it is that they're feeling

1340
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 7: or thinking.

1341
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:44,520
Speaker 2: So that's way more dangerous.

1342
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 7: And then when you you know a kid is talking

1343
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 7: to you and you pop them in the mouth, you're

1344
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 7: not You're still not teaching them how to say or

1345
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 7: how to express how they feel. I've just discovered this

1346
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 7: last year that, like you know, being emotionally avoidant isn't

1347
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 7: like a natural characteristic. It's something that I developed as

1348
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 7: a as a child because I would cry. It was

1349
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 7: a cry baby, and people would laugh or tease me

1350
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 7: or make me shut up. So there was no there

1351
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 7: was no teaching of like use your words. Explain to

1352
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 7: me why you're sad, or why you're upset, or how

1353
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 7: I hurt your feelings. So now as an adult, somebody

1354
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 7: hurts my feelings, I'm fucking pouting.

1355
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

1356
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1357
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 2: I don't even know.

1358
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 1: What to say.

1359
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 7: I can't even begin to fix my mouth. So and

1360
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 7: then you got to try to repair that. And in

1361
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,640
Speaker 7: the meantime, some people never figure that out and don't

1362
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:33,320
Speaker 7: understand why their relationships suffer because they don't know that.

1363
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 2: They don't know you know what I'm saying. So you

1364
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 2: gotta let your kids speak up.

1365
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,200
Speaker 4: And that also is why we're making the change, because

1366
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,080
Speaker 4: we've been through it and realized it and like that.

1367
00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 1: We can't do that to our children.

1368
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:46,760
Speaker 4: So you can't just justify behavior like you said, because

1369
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:49,960
Speaker 4: it's tradition. Just because my parents did that, don't mean

1370
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 4: that I'm going to do that to my kids. You

1371
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 4: know better, You do better, you know what I'm saying,

1372
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 4: And realize when you're doing it.

1373
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 6: You know, I think that's part of it too. Don't

1374
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,840
Speaker 6: realize when you're doing it as well. I feel like

1375
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 6: I'll say something to my mother responding the same way

1376
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 6: she would respond to me. And in my head, I'm like,

1377
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:13,880
Speaker 6: I know I shouldn't be responding like this, but Josh,

1378
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 6: he might only be one life.

1379
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 1: Josh. He say something to his mother under his breath

1380
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:19,880
Speaker 1: and be like, she don't know.

1381
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 8: I would chant my I don't think he did. And

1382
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:28,520
Speaker 8: me and mine got a relationship where we could, we

1383
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:30,920
Speaker 8: could band. Now we can banter it. I don't got that.

1384
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 5: That's understands your sarcasm. She knows who her son is.

1385
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 5: You know, some days person.

1386
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 1: Understand my sarcasm.

1387
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I know. Cairol a little sarcastic when he ready.

1388
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 1: And Jackson, that's true.

1389
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:45,960
Speaker 4: I wanted to chat Jackson and that throw it a

1390
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 4: couple of times, and I had to remember that I

1391
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 4: was Jackson.

1392
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:50,920
Speaker 5: He does that with you, I think he does with me.

1393
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 4: I wanted to chop Jackson in the throw a couple

1394
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 4: of times, like like, seriously, be like, dude, you're playing

1395
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,640
Speaker 4: with me right now. But you know what, I'm going

1396
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 4: to do the right thing, and I'm going to explain

1397
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 4: to you why you almost got chopped in the throat.

1398
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:06,960
Speaker 1: And most of the times he gets it.

1399
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 6: You understand.

1400
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, he don't test me too much,

1401
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 4: but sometimes yeah, it'd be like, dude, like really, like

1402
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:15,400
Speaker 4: right now, you want to do this?

1403
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 1: Right now? Okay, so let's do this.

1404
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,440
Speaker 4: And now I gotta waste my time explaining something that

1405
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 4: all you have to do is listen. But if I

1406
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 4: don't explain it to him, he's gonna repeat that same behavior.

1407
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I take the time.

1408
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:28,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Cairo is just so aware, like he's so

1409
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 3: like wise beyond his ears that he can sniff bullshit

1410
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 3: out a mile away. So you can't bullshit Cairo because

1411
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 3: he'll under his breath say something and I'll be like,

1412
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 3: what'd you say? And he'd be like, nothing mine, And

1413
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:41,360
Speaker 3: I'm like, I totally heard you say something slick and

1414
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 3: it was warranted, but I let him know that I

1415
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 3: noticed what he said.

1416
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:47,520
Speaker 5: But I let him rock because the ship was probably.

1417
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:50,760
Speaker 6: That's the part I didn't have. Nobody let me rock.

1418
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:57,640
Speaker 3: Corre like, yeah, you said, and that's not how we

1419
01:00:57,680 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 3: go about things, right, So you know, for next time

1420
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:02,320
Speaker 3: I heard you, Mommy, here's everything, because you're.

1421
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 7: Like, all right, mom, Just because you're right, it doesn't

1422
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:09,040
Speaker 7: mean that it's necessary just exactly to learn that shit.

1423
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 4: Remember that that day where I was screaming at Jackson

1424
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:14,200
Speaker 4: out front. I was rushing him to get to practice.

1425
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 4: This is when he was coming from his teeth things.

1426
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 4: So he was just having a bad day.

1427
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 1: So I'm rushing, like your Jack's we gotta be on times.

1428
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 1: We gotta be on time.

1429
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 4: He comes out of the front door, leaves the door

1430
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 4: wide open. I said, yo, you left the door open.

1431
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 4: And he's looking at me and I said, you're not

1432
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 4: going to close the door. He said, you said hurry

1433
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 4: up and come on.

1434
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's one of these I.

1435
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:37,680
Speaker 4: Was like, so all the other twenty minutes you took

1436
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:41,040
Speaker 4: doing bullshit was more important, But closing the door, that's

1437
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:44,320
Speaker 4: where you just like, I see what you're doing.

1438
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 1: I said, jack really talk. If you don't go close

1439
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 1: the door, imna hit you with this car.

1440
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:53,080
Speaker 3: Streams and crazy my Caribbean ways and rubbing off from.

1441
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 1: Him is a tradition. You're starting.

1442
01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 5: I dropping your head.

1443
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:03,720
Speaker 1: I didn't want to hit him to tell him something

1444
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 1: that I was just like that because now he makes

1445
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 1: fun of me. He makes fun of me so funny.

1446
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:12,120
Speaker 5: It's great.

1447
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 1: And I started blinking. I said, dude, man, you need

1448
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 1: to go close the door.

1449
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 4: For I hit you, and he just looked at me,

1450
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 4: and he got out mad fast and ran and closed

1451
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:23,000
Speaker 4: and I was like closing to him, and I just

1452
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 4: I drove in silence to the to the practice silence.

1453
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:29,480
Speaker 1: Get ready, but you got a teenager?

1454
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're gonna try a little thing.

1455
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 7: One tradition you might want to keep is like when

1456
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:36,000
Speaker 7: black parents, you don't close the door, you'rela.

1457
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:37,880
Speaker 2: You better go close that door before I close the

1458
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 2: door on your ass.

1459
01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 1: We're gonna keep that one.

1460
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:46,120
Speaker 5: We're gonna keep that for sure, for sure.

1461
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:50,880
Speaker 3: My last one was the tradition of Karen what people think,

1462
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:55,919
Speaker 3: It's a sickness, bro It literally is a sickness that

1463
01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:59,520
Speaker 3: generations before me have lived by. And I'm sure they

1464
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 3: had their for being so hyper aware and sensitive to

1465
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 3: what other people thought.

1466
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 5: But I'm no longer living my life like that.

1467
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 3: There has been such freedom in these past couple of

1468
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:11,760
Speaker 3: years since I've decided to break that tradition that I'm like,

1469
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:13,960
Speaker 3: why didn't I start this earlier? I would have achieved

1470
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 3: so much more, I would have taken so many more risks,

1471
01:03:17,040 --> 01:03:19,919
Speaker 3: I would have worked on things harder, because it would

1472
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,840
Speaker 3: have literally set me up for the things that I

1473
01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 3: want out of life, that I'm not answering to anybody

1474
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 3: else about things that don't matter, because they essentially don't matter.

1475
01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 5: So that's something that we're breaking. And we're making sure

1476
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:34,280
Speaker 5: that our children, of course, are respectful to people and

1477
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:36,240
Speaker 5: that they have empathy for others, like I said before,

1478
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 5: but at the same time truly honoring what makes you happy,

1479
01:03:40,040 --> 01:03:42,640
Speaker 5: what makes you take finding your purpose, that to me

1480
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:44,480
Speaker 5: supersedes what anybody else thinks.

1481
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:48,640
Speaker 4: And we changed that by speaking how we use vocabulary

1482
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:49,200
Speaker 4: for our kids.

1483
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 1: For example, I think I said this on another one.

1484
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:54,920
Speaker 4: Kids want to get out and go do whatever they're doing, right,

1485
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:56,440
Speaker 4: so you wake up, come down, says we're going to

1486
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 4: go outside and play. In the past, I'd have been like, Yo,

1487
01:03:58,640 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 4: did you brush your tea?

1488
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:00,280
Speaker 5: No?

1489
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 4: All right, We'll go out there and not brush your teeth,

1490
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:03,640
Speaker 4: and all the girls gonna call you young mouse.

1491
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:04,640
Speaker 1: Think breath, And.

1492
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 4: What I'm implementing in their minds is it matters what

1493
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 4: people thinks about my breaths thinking.

1494
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:13,320
Speaker 6: I mean that piece that matters. Yeah, keep telling them no.

1495
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:14,919
Speaker 1: No, no no, But you can say it like this though.

1496
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 4: You know what happens when you don't brush your teeth,

1497
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:20,240
Speaker 4: you can develop gingivitis, you can get infection in your gums,

1498
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 4: you want to have sores in your mouth. So now

1499
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:24,360
Speaker 4: it's not about what other people think. It's about you

1500
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:26,760
Speaker 4: taking care of yourself, because you're just supposed.

1501
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:28,080
Speaker 3: To take care of It's true. Jackson got his first

1502
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:31,280
Speaker 3: cavity and he was devastated. Devastated. He was like, I

1503
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 3: can't believe it that I had to sit outside because

1504
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 3: he's at the age now where when we go to

1505
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 3: doctor's appointments, they escort him in and they're like, mom,

1506
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 3: you can wait here. Like he went to the pediatrician

1507
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:43,439
Speaker 3: for his annual checkup and I was like, I can't

1508
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 3: come in and she was like, no, Mom, it's time.

1509
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:47,440
Speaker 3: Can It's time for you to sit. Doctor's gonna have

1510
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 3: conversations honest with Jackson. Then she doesn't want your presence

1511
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 3: to intimidate him.

1512
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 5: I said, what the hell she's talking to him about that?

1513
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:56,600
Speaker 3: You want me intimidated about my presence.

1514
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:58,560
Speaker 5: I'm like, what's going on here?

1515
01:04:58,880 --> 01:04:59,080
Speaker 1: You know?

1516
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:01,160
Speaker 3: But he's fourteen and she had and I love our

1517
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 3: doctor Smith.

1518
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 5: Listen, doctor Smith is amazing.

1519
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,280
Speaker 3: She's a black woman who's just freaking amazing and we've

1520
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 3: been with her since we moved here, so they're like

1521
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,200
Speaker 3: it's okay. And she has a son too, who he's

1522
01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 3: going to college now and everything. So yeah, so we

1523
01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:17,880
Speaker 3: love doctor Smith. So when that happened, I was just like,

1524
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 3: what do you mean? I can't go inside? So anyway,

1525
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:23,120
Speaker 3: Jackson had his first cavity. But to your point, sometimes

1526
01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:25,520
Speaker 3: they gonna have to feel, you know, those who don't

1527
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 3: here will feel you got your first cabtinants because we

1528
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:29,560
Speaker 3: have to be on your back about making sure that

1529
01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:30,880
Speaker 3: your oral hygiene is intact.

1530
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:33,480
Speaker 5: But it's just typical boy stuff that we're dealing with.

1531
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:35,920
Speaker 3: Now, another thing, he gets up and he's just like

1532
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 3: coming downstairs. His shirt is crushed. You literally have an

1533
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:42,360
Speaker 3: ironing board and an iron. I've taught you how to iron.

1534
01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:44,800
Speaker 3: Why do you have on a crushed T shirt? You

1535
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:48,240
Speaker 3: don't matter, mom, because no, no, no, no, you are a

1536
01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:51,440
Speaker 3: reflection of leaving this household you are in Ellis. Do

1537
01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:53,600
Speaker 3: you ever see my father, your father in crumple up

1538
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:56,240
Speaker 3: clothes walking outside like he's homeless? Do you ever see

1539
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:59,240
Speaker 3: mommy out here just haphazardly walking outside? And then I

1540
01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:01,040
Speaker 3: was like, shit, sometimes I do be looking crazy.

1541
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 5: Practice sometimes I.

1542
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 1: Do, look at.

1543
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:08,000
Speaker 2: That shirt, don't be wrinkled.

1544
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 5: But listen, I said, but no, go back upstairs. So

1545
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,200
Speaker 5: what he'll do is he'll go back upstairs.

1546
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:13,800
Speaker 3: He won't iron the shirt, but he'll get a dry

1547
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 3: fit that he don't got to iron because there's no wrinkles.

1548
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 5: At least he means the happy medium, you know what

1549
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:19,240
Speaker 5: I'm saying.

1550
01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:21,600
Speaker 3: At least you you thought about that for a second,

1551
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,960
Speaker 3: but yeah, to your point, that's a good way to

1552
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,640
Speaker 3: kind of code it to your children, making about them

1553
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:29,240
Speaker 3: and taking pride in themselves and not making it about

1554
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:31,280
Speaker 3: how they're going to be perceived by other people.

1555
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:33,800
Speaker 6: So now I feel like you got to hear that

1556
01:06:33,920 --> 01:06:36,120
Speaker 6: you people gonna talk about you, and you think.

1557
01:06:38,480 --> 01:06:41,720
Speaker 3: Nobody wants to sink and smell everybody. Remember that one

1558
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:45,360
Speaker 3: kid that's stank yah. You know what I'm saying to

1559
01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:48,320
Speaker 3: this day, the one kid who had the dried lips,

1560
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 3: who had the dry up stuff.

1561
01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:52,600
Speaker 6: I didn't want to come to mod squad let them

1562
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:53,840
Speaker 6: by other people.

1563
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,120
Speaker 2: What does your mom call it?

1564
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:58,160
Speaker 1: Mold squala?

1565
01:06:58,480 --> 01:07:01,600
Speaker 5: My mother said, look like I don't know what you

1566
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:07,880
Speaker 5: have to have eye? What's mata matter? You're having? Have

1567
01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,880
Speaker 5: matter like solid particles in your eye.

1568
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 4: I hate what Matt saying though, because man is saying

1569
01:07:15,040 --> 01:07:17,880
Speaker 4: you do have to tell kids that people will talk

1570
01:07:17,880 --> 01:07:19,840
Speaker 4: about them so that they're not shocked.

1571
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:21,640
Speaker 1: True when people talk about.

1572
01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:23,680
Speaker 6: But it doesn't need to be everything. You don't have

1573
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:24,680
Speaker 6: to tell you.

1574
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:25,920
Speaker 1: They need to know, like.

1575
01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 6: He certain things. They need to know that other people

1576
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:29,000
Speaker 6: are gonna care about you.

1577
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:31,720
Speaker 1: You're under arms.

1578
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:34,800
Speaker 5: Your breath, that is true, the older breath.

1579
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,320
Speaker 3: Like we all know the encounters we've had with people

1580
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:38,040
Speaker 3: who's brusting.

1581
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 1: But you should still do it for yourself though.

1582
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:41,640
Speaker 4: Man, you shouldn't brush your teeth because other people won't

1583
01:07:41,680 --> 01:07:43,480
Speaker 4: say you're brusting. You should brush your teeth because you

1584
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:45,360
Speaker 4: don't want to agree.

1585
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:46,040
Speaker 6: Agree.

1586
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:49,560
Speaker 8: It's a two full conversation. Take care of yourself and

1587
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 8: make sure people don't talk about you.

1588
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:51,680
Speaker 2: Period.

1589
01:07:52,120 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 5: There you go.

1590
01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:54,480
Speaker 3: All right, y'all, let's go ahead and take a quick

1591
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:56,360
Speaker 3: break and we're gonna get into listening better, so we'll

1592
01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:56,880
Speaker 3: be right back.

1593
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:13,800
Speaker 4: Pow, We're back with Cadeen's favorite segment of the show,

1594
01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:18,280
Speaker 4: Nosey Dean. It has been a pleasure of getting a

1595
01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:20,640
Speaker 4: glimpse of your life and success. I have been a

1596
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:22,760
Speaker 4: supporter for six years and have so much love and

1597
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:25,360
Speaker 4: respect for the legacy you are creating and continuing to build.

1598
01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:28,680
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, congratulations on all the many accomplishments

1599
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:29,360
Speaker 4: and endeavors.

1600
01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:30,519
Speaker 1: More is on the way.

1601
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:33,280
Speaker 4: I truly admire your relationship and have learned so much

1602
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 4: from you about life, finances, marriage and children. I am

1603
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 4: a thirty three year old Black American woman from Texas

1604
01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:42,439
Speaker 4: with Louisiana Creole roots. I am engaged to a thirty

1605
01:08:42,439 --> 01:08:44,639
Speaker 4: eight year old Haitian American man from Boston.

1606
01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:45,479
Speaker 1: Side note.

1607
01:08:45,479 --> 01:08:48,400
Speaker 4: We met at at Alma Matera's homecoming Texas Southern University

1608
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:51,439
Speaker 4: TSU two years before we began dating.

1609
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:54,599
Speaker 1: He was in law school and I was in grad school.

1610
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:56,760
Speaker 4: I was in a relationship with a Nigerian man at

1611
01:08:56,800 --> 01:08:58,880
Speaker 4: the time, but when I met my fiance, I knew

1612
01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:01,479
Speaker 4: he would be my husband. We never talked or hung

1613
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:04,200
Speaker 4: out after that encounter, but once I ended my relationship

1614
01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:07,080
Speaker 4: with the Nigeria, my fiancee took a shot and swept

1615
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:09,360
Speaker 4: me off my feet. We have been together for six

1616
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 4: years and have a healthy relationship with each other's family

1617
01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:14,800
Speaker 4: all as well. On our end, I wanted to know

1618
01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:18,800
Speaker 4: your thoughts on colorism and classism amongst Black Americans, Caribbeans,

1619
01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:21,280
Speaker 4: and Africans. The reason why I ask is because growing

1620
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:23,680
Speaker 4: up in the Deep South, I witnessed colorism and classism

1621
01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:27,240
Speaker 4: in the Black American community, prejudice stemming from the blue

1622
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:30,080
Speaker 4: vein society, brown paper bag tests, and the comb test

1623
01:09:30,160 --> 01:09:33,559
Speaker 4: lingers in the Black American community. Today, after meeting people

1624
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,760
Speaker 4: at school and in the workplace who come from different backgrounds,

1625
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:40,880
Speaker 4: I realized that Caribbeans and Africans can be this way too. Absolutely,

1626
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,080
Speaker 4: it may not be as prevalent like it is in

1627
01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:46,320
Speaker 4: the Black American community, but it is not unusual. It

1628
01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:49,400
Speaker 4: upsets me that Black people act this way because they

1629
01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:51,640
Speaker 4: fail to see that unity is better than division. I

1630
01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:54,120
Speaker 4: would also like to add that Black American versus Caribbean

1631
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:55,960
Speaker 4: versus Africans propaganda is whack.

1632
01:09:56,280 --> 01:09:56,960
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts?

1633
01:09:57,040 --> 01:10:00,599
Speaker 4: Is colorism and classism a generational or systemic problem that

1634
01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:04,000
Speaker 4: requires education, forgiveness, and more acceptance. Do you think this

1635
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:06,759
Speaker 4: is something we can overcome? If so, how yeah.

1636
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:08,719
Speaker 5: Dial back a couple of seasons to culture clash.

1637
01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:12,360
Speaker 3: Then we did a whole episode on this devloping of

1638
01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:16,559
Speaker 3: Black American you know descent, and then me of Cribean roots.

1639
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:18,439
Speaker 4: The first thing I want to point out is that

1640
01:10:18,479 --> 01:10:21,040
Speaker 4: colorism is not just isolated to Black culture.

1641
01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:21,400
Speaker 3: Right.

1642
01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:23,879
Speaker 4: That's one thing that Black people like to say online

1643
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,800
Speaker 4: is that we the only ones arguing about color. That's

1644
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:30,040
Speaker 4: not true in the Indian color, Indian culture culture, and

1645
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:35,240
Speaker 4: Latin X culture. All of these cultures aspire to whiteness

1646
01:10:35,320 --> 01:10:36,880
Speaker 4: because of colonialism.

1647
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:37,200
Speaker 1: Right.

1648
01:10:37,240 --> 01:10:42,080
Speaker 4: Colonialism, over generations of time made people of color feel

1649
01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 4: like the closer you are.

1650
01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:45,559
Speaker 1: To whiteness be being you a better life.

1651
01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:48,719
Speaker 4: And because of all of those generations of feeling that way,

1652
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:52,400
Speaker 4: people of color tend to want to look more Europeans

1653
01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:54,519
Speaker 4: so that they feel like they're getting an easier life.

1654
01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:58,040
Speaker 4: Now things are starting to change, as I'm not going

1655
01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:01,240
Speaker 4: to say colonialism is dying, but the world is changing.

1656
01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:04,680
Speaker 4: But yes, colorism is real. It is a real thing.

1657
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:08,040
Speaker 4: If you look at Black American culture. The brown paper

1658
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:10,400
Speaker 4: bag test, for people who don't know, was this test

1659
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:13,439
Speaker 4: that the closer you were to a light brown paper bag,

1660
01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:16,120
Speaker 4: the better you were going to be accepted, not only

1661
01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:18,400
Speaker 4: just in Hollywood, but for any profession if you worked

1662
01:11:18,439 --> 01:11:21,320
Speaker 4: in Wall Street. And that just wasn't just for women,

1663
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,840
Speaker 4: it was for men as well. Before the brown paper

1664
01:11:23,880 --> 01:11:27,599
Speaker 4: bag test. Many black people passed, which means try to

1665
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:30,280
Speaker 4: act white or pass for white if they were lighter complexion,

1666
01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:33,720
Speaker 4: not only for financial game, but to survive, you know,

1667
01:11:33,720 --> 01:11:35,360
Speaker 4: because if you grew up in Jim Crow South or

1668
01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:37,080
Speaker 4: the Deep South, if you were a black person, you

1669
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:40,000
Speaker 4: were in danger of being terrorized. So many black people

1670
01:11:40,120 --> 01:11:42,879
Speaker 4: acted white if they could pass so that they could survive.

1671
01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:46,080
Speaker 4: These are the traumas that not only Black people, but

1672
01:11:46,280 --> 01:11:48,800
Speaker 4: Indian and Asian and Latin.

1673
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:50,720
Speaker 1: X people all had to go to a caribbeing the.

1674
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:53,439
Speaker 4: Same thing all have had to go through. With that

1675
01:11:53,479 --> 01:11:57,320
Speaker 4: being said, yes, we will all be better off together.

1676
01:11:57,720 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 4: We just have to change what beauty standards are a right,

1677
01:12:01,479 --> 01:12:03,960
Speaker 4: like our beauty standards when we all started this thing

1678
01:12:04,200 --> 01:12:09,760
Speaker 4: was whiteness, pin straight nose, straight hair was what were

1679
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:13,160
Speaker 4: the other things? For European blue eyes color, which is

1680
01:12:13,560 --> 01:12:16,679
Speaker 4: to me because light color eyes is an African trait.

1681
01:12:17,760 --> 01:12:20,040
Speaker 4: Like what people don't understand too about beauty, Let's be

1682
01:12:20,120 --> 01:12:21,880
Speaker 4: clear about beauty standards.

1683
01:12:22,439 --> 01:12:27,559
Speaker 1: The darkest, blackest, most coarse haired woman with brown brown

1684
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:31,840
Speaker 1: eyes can make every other color. That's just the fact.

1685
01:12:31,960 --> 01:12:36,880
Speaker 4: So Europeans come from black people, Asians, Indians, everybody comes

1686
01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:39,080
Speaker 4: from black people, So the beauty standards should.

1687
01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:40,880
Speaker 5: Be what black people.

1688
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:44,960
Speaker 4: If we can start to understand that, we would no

1689
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:47,400
Speaker 4: longer look at each other as the enemy, because it

1690
01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:50,640
Speaker 4: doesn't matter how dark or how light you are. We

1691
01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:53,679
Speaker 4: all come from the same being. And for me, that's

1692
01:12:53,760 --> 01:12:57,000
Speaker 4: that's how I've reconciled with it. That's what I teach

1693
01:12:57,080 --> 01:13:00,640
Speaker 4: my boys, right, I teach my boys like, listen, we

1694
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:03,880
Speaker 4: all come from different walks of life. But you can't

1695
01:13:03,960 --> 01:13:07,360
Speaker 4: judge somebody or tell somebody where they belong based on

1696
01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:09,880
Speaker 4: the color of their skin, or even worse, the complexion

1697
01:13:09,920 --> 01:13:12,479
Speaker 4: of their skin. And the minute we all start teaching

1698
01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:15,240
Speaker 4: our children that, and that goes from generation to generation,

1699
01:13:15,320 --> 01:13:17,200
Speaker 4: it will change. But do I think there will be

1700
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:19,920
Speaker 4: a change in the next year or ten years.

1701
01:13:20,040 --> 01:13:21,559
Speaker 1: No, this is over.

1702
01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:24,439
Speaker 4: And number sixteen nineteen we talked about that was four

1703
01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:28,559
Speaker 4: hundred years. Colonialism goes back before that. We talk about

1704
01:13:28,600 --> 01:13:33,240
Speaker 4: thousands of years of race baiting. And here's something I

1705
01:13:33,280 --> 01:13:37,080
Speaker 4: do want everyone to go watch. There's a documentary on HBO.

1706
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:41,920
Speaker 4: It's called Exterminate the Brutes, and it talks about how

1707
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:48,160
Speaker 4: Europeans used Christ and the Church to dominate the world

1708
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:52,280
Speaker 4: and to validate themselves for going over to the indigenous

1709
01:13:52,320 --> 01:13:55,280
Speaker 4: people and taking their land, raping their wimen, taking all

1710
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:58,040
Speaker 4: of their worth, and discarding them as less than human

1711
01:13:58,080 --> 01:14:00,200
Speaker 4: because the Bible told them, if you're not a white

1712
01:14:00,600 --> 01:14:04,920
Speaker 4: Anglo Saxon quote unquote Protestant, then you don't belong on earth.

1713
01:14:05,800 --> 01:14:08,240
Speaker 4: The more history you learned about humanity, the more you

1714
01:14:08,280 --> 01:14:11,559
Speaker 4: realize that colorism and racism was all a made up

1715
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,479
Speaker 4: construct to divide us. And once you know that, you

1716
01:14:14,560 --> 01:14:17,760
Speaker 4: realize that that person opposite of me, no matter what

1717
01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:18,960
Speaker 4: they look like, is my brother.

1718
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:21,000
Speaker 1: That's how I feel about it.

1719
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,160
Speaker 3: That's how it was in Jamaica. My mom didn't have

1720
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:27,280
Speaker 3: any concept of racism until she came to America. And

1721
01:14:27,320 --> 01:14:29,120
Speaker 3: then remember that had to be like a discussion that

1722
01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:32,760
Speaker 3: you had with my parents to explain American history, Black

1723
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:35,559
Speaker 3: American history and why it was such a sensitive topic

1724
01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:38,600
Speaker 3: because to my mom in Jamaica, she said, yes, colorism

1725
01:14:38,640 --> 01:14:44,200
Speaker 3: did exist, but everyone also still coexisted respectfully amongst the Asians,

1726
01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:47,200
Speaker 3: the Indians, the Blacks who were in Jamaica. So that

1727
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:50,240
Speaker 3: was the component of the Caribbean and how we feel

1728
01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:53,000
Speaker 3: about colorism. But I think the funniest part about all

1729
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:57,160
Speaker 3: of this conversation is that the aspiration was to whiteness,

1730
01:14:57,479 --> 01:15:00,439
Speaker 3: where we have whiteness trying to aspire to be like, yeah,

1731
01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:03,200
Speaker 3: of color. You know what I'm saying, the bigger lips,

1732
01:15:03,320 --> 01:15:08,080
Speaker 3: the bigger butts, like theys tanning like, there's an aspiration

1733
01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:10,160
Speaker 3: they have now. So it's funny to see the tables

1734
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:13,839
Speaker 3: turn over time where they're realizing the beauty in our blackness.

1735
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:16,400
Speaker 1: That's I'm glad you brought that up.

1736
01:15:16,400 --> 01:15:19,479
Speaker 6: I wouldn't say now though they've always known, they're true

1737
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:21,160
Speaker 6: true by doing.

1738
01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:22,120
Speaker 2: It, very true, very true.

1739
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:22,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, absolutely right.

1740
01:15:22,960 --> 01:15:26,000
Speaker 3: They always knew, they've always wanted that, they've always aspired

1741
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:26,680
Speaker 3: to that.

1742
01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:28,120
Speaker 1: But you know, it's funny. That's what we got to

1743
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:29,080
Speaker 1: start teaching our kids.

1744
01:15:29,080 --> 01:15:32,360
Speaker 4: Man, The true history of our people don't start in

1745
01:15:32,439 --> 01:15:35,080
Speaker 4: sixteen nineteen with slavery. The history of our people started

1746
01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:38,160
Speaker 4: way before that. We need to start learning about the

1747
01:15:38,280 --> 01:15:42,320
Speaker 4: civilizations before America became America, you know America.

1748
01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:43,799
Speaker 1: I learned this in school.

1749
01:15:45,080 --> 01:15:48,160
Speaker 4: Columbus sail the Ocean blue in fourteen ninety two. So

1750
01:15:48,200 --> 01:15:51,920
Speaker 4: why do we start Black American history in sixteen nineteen.

1751
01:15:51,920 --> 01:15:54,120
Speaker 4: Why don't we start black history before that? What was

1752
01:15:54,120 --> 01:15:56,639
Speaker 4: happening in thirteen ninety two. You know what I'm saying,

1753
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:58,920
Speaker 4: what would the kingdoms of Africa looking like before they

1754
01:15:58,960 --> 01:16:01,000
Speaker 4: brought us over here. I think that if we knew

1755
01:16:01,040 --> 01:16:04,360
Speaker 4: that history and that enriched history, we would find value

1756
01:16:04,360 --> 01:16:06,760
Speaker 4: in the way we look instead of telling us, well,

1757
01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:09,360
Speaker 4: you're a slave because you looked like this, and then

1758
01:16:09,479 --> 01:16:10,920
Speaker 4: kids grow up thinking like, well, I don't want to

1759
01:16:10,920 --> 01:16:12,720
Speaker 4: look like this if this means I'm going to be

1760
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:15,320
Speaker 4: a slave. You know what I'm saying. And we actually

1761
01:16:15,320 --> 01:16:18,800
Speaker 4: were never slaves. We were enslaved, But I'm never going

1762
01:16:18,880 --> 01:16:22,400
Speaker 4: to tell my child that my ancestors were slaves. That's

1763
01:16:22,439 --> 01:16:24,360
Speaker 4: just not We were enslaved and we came out of

1764
01:16:24,439 --> 01:16:28,040
Speaker 4: enslavement and the beauty exists in everything that we've gone through.

1765
01:16:28,320 --> 01:16:31,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, good one, good one, good one. All right, y'all.

1766
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:32,840
Speaker 3: If you want to be featured asn't listen to a letter,

1767
01:16:33,160 --> 01:16:36,120
Speaker 3: be sure to email us at the Ellis Advice at

1768
01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:37,240
Speaker 3: gmail dot com.

1769
01:16:37,280 --> 01:16:39,840
Speaker 4: That is th H E E L L I S

1770
01:16:39,880 --> 01:16:43,160
Speaker 4: A d V I C E at gmail dot com.

1771
01:16:43,280 --> 01:16:44,519
Speaker 5: All right, moment of truth time.

1772
01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:48,400
Speaker 3: We're talking about traditions, traditions that are made to be broken.

1773
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:49,840
Speaker 5: Do you have anything for us today, babe, for a

1774
01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:50,479
Speaker 5: moment of truth.

1775
01:16:50,560 --> 01:16:54,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of self reflection. Look at yourself, look

1776
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:57,880
Speaker 4: at your life. What would you like to change about

1777
01:16:57,880 --> 01:17:00,840
Speaker 4: yourself and your life? And rather than projecting all the

1778
01:17:00,880 --> 01:17:03,599
Speaker 4: negative things that you liked you didn't like growing up

1779
01:17:03,640 --> 01:17:07,840
Speaker 4: on your children, do something different, break the tradition, to

1780
01:17:07,840 --> 01:17:09,840
Speaker 4: give them a different perspective so that they can then

1781
01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:12,320
Speaker 4: break those traditions with their children and we can be

1782
01:17:12,320 --> 01:17:13,080
Speaker 4: better as humans.

1783
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:15,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think mine was just like, it's okay, it's

1784
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:17,320
Speaker 3: okay to be like, you know what, this no longer

1785
01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:19,400
Speaker 3: serves me, This no longer serves my family.

1786
01:17:19,439 --> 01:17:21,559
Speaker 5: There no longer serves the family that I've created.

1787
01:17:21,920 --> 01:17:23,240
Speaker 3: It's okay to say, you know what, I want to

1788
01:17:23,280 --> 01:17:26,280
Speaker 3: try something different, start that trend, still making time of

1789
01:17:26,280 --> 01:17:28,920
Speaker 3: course for family, extended family to get together and have

1790
01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:31,280
Speaker 3: those moments so the memories can be built and created.

1791
01:17:31,560 --> 01:17:33,120
Speaker 3: But it's okay to pivot and say, you know what,

1792
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:35,080
Speaker 3: I want to do something different for the legacy that

1793
01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:37,920
Speaker 3: I'm trying to create for my future generations moving forward.

1794
01:17:39,120 --> 01:17:42,320
Speaker 6: Mine, it's okay to do something different, and if if

1795
01:17:42,479 --> 01:17:44,479
Speaker 6: you don't like when you tried it, it's okay to

1796
01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:46,120
Speaker 6: go back to that old thing, but try something.

1797
01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:48,760
Speaker 1: Different that's like that one they go back.

1798
01:17:49,320 --> 01:17:50,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's true.

1799
01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:53,480
Speaker 1: I like that just to I like traditions.

1800
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,840
Speaker 8: I'm a traditional type of guy, but I don't make

1801
01:17:56,880 --> 01:17:58,000
Speaker 8: traditions my religion.

1802
01:17:58,240 --> 01:17:59,240
Speaker 6: And that's the difference.

1803
01:18:00,160 --> 01:18:03,120
Speaker 1: Don't make tradition your religion.

1804
01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:07,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, all right, now, bars, there you go, bars.

1805
01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:09,960
Speaker 1: Everything.

1806
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:11,840
Speaker 2: I love it.

1807
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:18,120
Speaker 7: I mean, we didn't really talk about this, but some

1808
01:18:18,240 --> 01:18:20,639
Speaker 7: kids still need whoopings. I don't know if that the

1809
01:18:20,640 --> 01:18:22,280
Speaker 7: tradition needs to come back.

1810
01:18:24,360 --> 01:18:26,799
Speaker 2: I don't think we should say that, hot box.

1811
01:18:28,760 --> 01:18:29,800
Speaker 5: That is a fact.

1812
01:18:30,080 --> 01:18:32,240
Speaker 1: This Wholewaiian movement is proof.

1813
01:18:32,439 --> 01:18:37,120
Speaker 5: That because I think it's cute.

1814
01:18:38,479 --> 01:18:39,240
Speaker 1: So parented.

1815
01:18:40,040 --> 01:18:40,759
Speaker 5: It's crazy.

1816
01:18:41,680 --> 01:18:42,719
Speaker 1: That wouldn't happen if.

1817
01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:46,080
Speaker 4: You because I was definitely afraid of my five two mom,

1818
01:18:46,360 --> 01:18:48,400
Speaker 4: and I wasn't I wasn't playing with my pops.

1819
01:18:48,439 --> 01:18:50,040
Speaker 1: Well I knew that I wasn't playing with my mom.

1820
01:18:50,560 --> 01:18:54,600
Speaker 1: Nobody gonna save me. Absolutely, there was a faians. I

1821
01:18:54,600 --> 01:18:56,559
Speaker 1: think the amount of Wayians we have right.

1822
01:18:56,479 --> 01:19:00,240
Speaker 5: Now if Yeah, they're just making it socially acceptable to

1823
01:19:00,320 --> 01:19:06,960
Speaker 5: be a Yan, and it's like, don't nobody nobody asked

1824
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:07,280
Speaker 5: for that.

1825
01:19:07,240 --> 01:19:13,000
Speaker 8: Because you're going into your prime as a white like yn.

1826
01:19:14,280 --> 01:19:16,679
Speaker 6: Your structure is not good, your foundation is not good.

1827
01:19:16,720 --> 01:19:17,360
Speaker 6: It's terrible.

1828
01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:18,559
Speaker 5: It really is terrible.

1829
01:19:18,640 --> 01:19:19,240
Speaker 1: That is a fact.

1830
01:19:19,479 --> 01:19:22,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, y'all traditions are made, you know. Enclosing,

1831
01:19:23,240 --> 01:19:27,120
Speaker 3: my friend Latania, she just said something in a in

1832
01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:30,920
Speaker 3: a caption under a photo that she posted for her birthday,

1833
01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:34,000
Speaker 3: and she talked about the importance of building legacy for

1834
01:19:34,040 --> 01:19:37,519
Speaker 3: her family, for the people that she won't meet, And

1835
01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:39,920
Speaker 3: that made me so emotional in that moment, because I'm

1836
01:19:39,960 --> 01:19:41,800
Speaker 3: just like, we're thinking of traditions and the things that

1837
01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:44,519
Speaker 3: we're doing to build a legacy, but I never for

1838
01:19:44,600 --> 01:19:47,400
Speaker 3: once I'm thinking of my children. Of course, my children's children,

1839
01:19:47,439 --> 01:19:49,880
Speaker 3: but I'm thinking not even think about the generations of

1840
01:19:49,920 --> 01:19:51,479
Speaker 3: people that were not going to meet, that are going

1841
01:19:51,560 --> 01:19:54,000
Speaker 3: to carry the ls name, that will be a Joseph.

1842
01:19:54,160 --> 01:19:57,040
Speaker 3: And it's just like, Man, the decisions that we make now,

1843
01:19:57,120 --> 01:20:00,439
Speaker 3: the traditions we put in place, hopefully are children and

1844
01:20:00,479 --> 01:20:03,240
Speaker 3: our children's children and the future generations will see value

1845
01:20:03,240 --> 01:20:05,400
Speaker 3: in that and be like, man, I came from a lineage,

1846
01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:09,760
Speaker 3: lineage that was so strong and rooted in pride, you know,

1847
01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:12,479
Speaker 3: so that's really really cool to me to think about

1848
01:20:12,520 --> 01:20:15,720
Speaker 3: those people were never gonna meet, right, shout out to

1849
01:20:15,800 --> 01:20:19,960
Speaker 3: my boy your wife over there being profound. All right, y'all,

1850
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:22,840
Speaker 3: if you have not yet join us on Patreon, we're

1851
01:20:22,840 --> 01:20:25,920
Speaker 3: having math fun over there. We have Ella's content, family content,

1852
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:28,639
Speaker 3: Ellis ever After content, and the exclusive after show where

1853
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:31,680
Speaker 3: we'll be cutting up once the camera's cut. So you

1854
01:20:31,680 --> 01:20:33,559
Speaker 3: can find us on Patreon and you can also find

1855
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:36,519
Speaker 3: us on social media. It's Ellis ever After. You can

1856
01:20:36,560 --> 01:20:37,680
Speaker 3: find me at Kadeen I.

1857
01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:40,639
Speaker 8: Am, and i am Deval, I'm Underscore, Mad Dog Ellis

1858
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:45,280
Speaker 8: and I'm Josh Dwayne and I'm Trips the Cool t RIBBZ,

1859
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:46,920
Speaker 8: the Cool on Everything.

1860
01:20:47,360 --> 01:20:49,439
Speaker 4: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to

1861
01:20:49,560 --> 01:20:52,640
Speaker 4: wait with you and subscribe.

1862
01:20:51,960 --> 01:20:54,720
Speaker 5: And don't forget to download the episodes, y'all. It'll help

1863
01:20:54,800 --> 01:20:59,280
Speaker 5: us out a great deal. Please, please, love y'all.

1864
01:21:00,920 --> 01:21:05,719
Speaker 7: Got Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted

1865
01:21:05,800 --> 01:21:10,360
Speaker 7: by Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video,

1866
01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:15,000
Speaker 7: Production by Joshua Dwyane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by

1867
01:21:15,120 --> 01:21:15,920
Speaker 7: Lashawan Rowe.

1868
01:22:01,560 --> 01:22:06,760
Speaker 4: Gift to.

1869
01:22:22,880 --> 01:22:28,760
Speaker 5: Give gift.

1870
01:22:33,360 --> 01:22:33,960
Speaker 3: To the

1871
01:22:38,920 --> 01:23:01,840
Speaker 8: Every what you don