Speaker 1: Hey guys, Sunday Sampler Time. Some clips from some of
Speaker 1: the podcasts this week on the Nashville Podcast Network. Coming Up,
Speaker 1: I talked with Don Felder, who was in the Eagles,
Speaker 1: and he talks about the story behind Hotel California, which
Speaker 1: he wrote. But we're gonna start with a clip from
Speaker 1: Take This Personally, where Morgan talked with therapist doctor Amy
Speaker 1: Tran about childhood trauma and how it impacts us as adults.
Speaker 1: They also discuss things we should unlearn in our lives.
Speaker 1: So here is a clip from Take This Personally with
Speaker 1: Morgan Heughlsman.
Speaker 2: Personallysman, I'm excited to welcome Amy Tran, who is a
Speaker 2: therapist and currently completely her training to be a psychologist
Speaker 2: in Canada.
Speaker 3: How are you doing today?
Speaker 4: Thank you, I'm doing great. Thanks for having me on
Speaker 4: the show.
Speaker 2: Do you find it difficult for people to kind of
Speaker 2: address that because they are still as an adult. I'm
Speaker 2: super close with my parents. I'm not looking back and
Speaker 2: finding anything, but I'm sure there is something there. Do
Speaker 2: you find it's harder to do that when there is
Speaker 2: a close relationship because you almost don't want to jeopardize it,
Speaker 2: or you don't want to lose it. Do you find
Speaker 2: that people find it hard to kind of attack that
Speaker 2: place because it's such a personal moment of their life.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, one hundred percent. People say all the time, oh,
Speaker 4: but I love my parents, or but I know they
Speaker 4: did a good job. So it's really holding that space
Speaker 4: for the person to be like, Okay, I love my parents,
Speaker 4: and I know they did the best that they could,
Speaker 4: but there's some things in which maybe it was outside
Speaker 4: of their awareness and they reacted to situations a certain
Speaker 4: way that had long lasting impacts on us. So, I mean,
Speaker 4: my perspective of it, and what I invite everyone to
Speaker 4: really see is that most humans are just trying the
Speaker 4: best that they can with what they know at the time,
Speaker 4: the resources they have, and I believe parents are doing
Speaker 4: that too. That is the kind of perspective that I
Speaker 4: want people to take when we're talking about our parents,
Speaker 4: is that no, they're not maliciously trying to traumatize you
Speaker 4: or create anxiety and depression in your life. They were
Speaker 4: just doing their best that they could and then this
Speaker 4: is how it turned out. So it is tough though
Speaker 4: for some people to talk about it.
Speaker 2: How can you give them tips to be like, you're
Speaker 2: not going to be perfect, but this is what you
Speaker 2: can do. Is there things that parents can do to
Speaker 2: ensure their kids at least grow up in a sense
Speaker 2: that have an idea of what's happening around them and
Speaker 2: how to address those situations as they get older.
Speaker 4: I think that first of all is to be compassionate
Speaker 4: towards yourself. Right to parent is not only just ensuring
Speaker 4: survival and that there's food on the table and that
Speaker 4: the kid is living in an enriched life, but it's
Speaker 4: a lot to help a child label their emotions, work
Speaker 4: through their emotions. There is so much work involved in
Speaker 4: that because if you, as a parent are not comfortable
Speaker 4: with emotions, if you, as a parent don't know how
Speaker 4: to handle your own emotions or soothe yourself, it's going
Speaker 4: to be really hard for you to do that for
Speaker 4: your child and model that for your child. So that's
Speaker 4: why it comes back to parents are just doing the
Speaker 4: best that they can. Be compassionate with yourself. Remember that
Speaker 4: it's a learning process. And if I can invite the
Speaker 4: parents out there who are listening to think about two
Speaker 4: things safety. How can you make your child feel safe
Speaker 4: if you think about your child as not just a
Speaker 4: human being but a nervous system as well, that will
Speaker 4: react to a loud voice, that will react to an
Speaker 4: angry face, and will react to conflict around the home.
Speaker 4: How can we make them feel a little bit safe?
Speaker 4: And also is that all children want to feel validated?
Speaker 4: Seen in her If they're crying and you think what
Speaker 4: they're crying about is the silliest thing before jumping to
Speaker 4: well is it really worth crying about? Knowledge that you
Speaker 4: understand where that sadness is coming from. Validate, validate, validate, validate,
Speaker 4: is what I have to say. So how can we
Speaker 4: create safety for children? And how can we make sure
Speaker 4: that they feel validated? Even if you disagree. First, just
Speaker 4: let your child know that you understand where they're coming from.
Speaker 2: And I think as humans everybody can feel that sense
Speaker 2: of validation that we all want. That's something that we
Speaker 2: just keep having throughout our lives.
Speaker 3: It never goes away.
Speaker 1: So Christ Appleton's a decent friend of mine, and his
Speaker 1: song gets covered all the time. A lot of a
Speaker 1: songs do like Tennessee Whiskey, which is not his song,
Speaker 1: but one that he covered and repopular and gets covered
Speaker 1: all the time. Are people constantly wanting you to hear
Speaker 1: covers of your songs, like don't listen to this? Does
Speaker 1: that happen a lot where it's like listen to this
Speaker 1: player or not so much anymore.
Speaker 5: It happens a lot.
Speaker 6: Just if I'm going through Instagram or Facebook or something.
Speaker 5: There's all that you're TikTok.
Speaker 6: There's people that want to show me that they can
Speaker 6: play my solo, which is really flattering. You know, it's
Speaker 6: not an easy solo by any stretch of the imagination,
Speaker 6: but it is flattering for that many people to try
Speaker 6: to attempt. There's actually I saw a trombone player doing
Speaker 6: the solo for Hotel California, and trombonas like this guy
Speaker 6: is a great player, but I can't imagine a sewer
Speaker 6: pipe players who playing.
Speaker 5: An hotel. So I watched it.
Speaker 3: Did you write about like when you wrote that We're
Speaker 3: on the beach?
Speaker 5: Like, where did that come to you?
Speaker 3: Like that?
Speaker 1: Because it wasn't written as part of the whole song, right,
Speaker 1: didn't you write the intro to that song just kind
Speaker 1: of by itself.
Speaker 6: What happened was I had rented a house on a
Speaker 6: beach in Malibu. I had two little kids. One was
Speaker 6: about a year old and one was like two and
Speaker 6: a half.
Speaker 5: And I was hitting on the couch.
Speaker 6: It was just a beautiful sunny California day and the
Speaker 6: sun was glistening on the surf as it's coming in,
Speaker 6: and my kids were in the sand on this swing set.
Speaker 6: And so I have this guitar, acoustic guitar, and I'm
Speaker 6: just sitting there and I start playing this chord progression,
Speaker 6: and about three or four times through the progression, I said,
Speaker 6: I have to go in the back bedroom and record
Speaker 6: a little bit of it, because if I don't record
Speaker 6: it tomorrow, allgo What was that thing that was? So
Speaker 6: So I run in a back bedroom, cord about I
Speaker 6: don't know, two or three times through the verse progression,
Speaker 6: and just put it away. It was actually my one
Speaker 6: year old daughter's bedroom was my recording studio when she
Speaker 6: was away playing, I could go in and Mike write
Speaker 6: demos and stuff. Anyway, So I recorded that, and then
Speaker 6: we started writing song ideas for the album that was
Speaker 6: untitled at the time that was going to be Hotel California.
Speaker 6: So I wound up writing sixteen or seventeen complete basic
Speaker 6: tracks where I would go in and take an idea
Speaker 6: like that little progression, and i'd fill it out and
Speaker 6: write a chorus part to it, and I'd play bass
Speaker 6: on it. And I had a little rhythm rhythm drum
Speaker 6: machine called a rhythm ace that you used to see
Speaker 6: on piano players and bars that they could set it
Speaker 6: to a cha chaar, set it to a rock beat.
Speaker 6: So I used that, and then I just overdubbed a
Speaker 6: bunch of stuff on this little four track tape recorder
Speaker 6: three to one, then fill up two more tracks and
Speaker 6: about those three to one, and so it was mono
Speaker 6: at the time. I just I should have brought my
Speaker 6: laptop because I have a digital copy of it. I
Speaker 6: could play you a little bit of it, and it
Speaker 6: sounds I played the beginning with a twelve string and
Speaker 6: then these electrics come in. The solo at the very
Speaker 6: end is pretty much like it is on the record,
Speaker 6: with the exception of some walshisms. When Joe and I
Speaker 6: played together, we came up with just great unique stuff.
Speaker 6: So I put that idea on a cassette with like
Speaker 6: fifteen or sixteen other song ideas. One became Victim of Love,
Speaker 6: and Henley liked that one that sounded like a Mexican
Speaker 6: reggae and so he was off and running writing lyrics
Speaker 6: to that song and came up with the lyric Idea
Speaker 6: and lyrics for Hotel California, which was on top of
Speaker 6: that music bed. So that's kind of how that all
Speaker 6: came together.
Speaker 1: And I didn't want to get you out. I read
Speaker 1: your book as soon as it came out, like the
Speaker 1: week it came out. I devoured it, Like I'm a
Speaker 1: literal fan. I knew the story about the beach. I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know, I think it's a beach,
Speaker 1: but I knew because I as soon as that book
Speaker 1: came out, I crushed. And it's really one of my
Speaker 1: favorite like music bio books ever, and I think it
Speaker 1: represents Again we're just talking about back in your childhood,
Speaker 1: like Gainesville, Florida. What was your environment, What were you
Speaker 1: surrounded by musically in Gainesville that even created an interest
Speaker 1: to want to hear music that wasn't the typical white
Speaker 1: music that you got there, Like where was that coming from?
Speaker 1: Like that desire to learn and be around different kinds
Speaker 1: of music. There was nothing else to do. There was
Speaker 1: no internet.
Speaker 6: Television had three channels, you know, it's ABC, NBCCBS, and
Speaker 6: then they went off the air shortly after sunset.
Speaker 1: Played the Starspangle by International Anthem. I was telling one
Speaker 1: of our people here like I caught the tail end
Speaker 1: of that in my life, and they were like, what
Speaker 1: the channel would go off? I was like, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then I would show the screen of his hold.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: And there was no really individual entertainment you could do.
Speaker 6: So I wound up getting a guitar and just trying
Speaker 6: to figure out how it worked and.
Speaker 3: How'd you get the guitar?
Speaker 5: What did that?
Speaker 6: There was a kid that lived across the street from me,
Speaker 6: and up in the top of one of his closets
Speaker 6: I saw in a guitar and it had some broken
Speaker 6: strings on it. And my brother and I had just
Speaker 6: come back down from South Carolina and my favorite uncle
Speaker 6: had given us a box of cherry bombs and we
Speaker 6: hit him in the trunk from my dad. My dad
Speaker 6: wouldn't let us play with those things. So when it
Speaker 6: would rain, we lived on a dirt road that was
Speaker 6: crowned and there was a ditch on both sides of
Speaker 6: the road for all the Florida run off, and to
Speaker 6: get from the road to your house, there was a
Speaker 6: big metal culvert that the water would run through underneath
Speaker 6: your driveway. So when it was raining, and we would
Speaker 6: run out with these cherry bombs, light them and throw
Speaker 6: them up stream and tie them so they would float
Speaker 6: down into that culvert and then boom, blow up and
Speaker 6: everybody would come running.
Speaker 5: Out to see what was going on, and we would
Speaker 5: be back in the house hiding.
Speaker 6: So this kid comes out, he sees us doing it,
Speaker 6: and he says, oh, it's some of those cherry bombs.
Speaker 6: I said, well, I'll give you a handful of these
Speaker 6: cherry bombs if you can get me that guitar that
Speaker 6: you have. We'll make a trade. So he runs back
Speaker 6: to his house, gets his guitar, brings it over, give
Speaker 6: him cherry bombs. Fifteen minutes later, cherry bombs are gone.
Speaker 5: But I got a guitar. We didn't have any money.
Speaker 6: That was the only way we could get started.
Speaker 5: Good cast up little.
Speaker 7: Food for you.
Speaker 3: So life ain't.
Speaker 7: Oh it's pretty bad. It's pretty beautiful that for a
Speaker 7: little more, said he can't. You're kicking it with four
Speaker 7: with Amy Brown.
Speaker 8: I saw this thing on Instagram the other day about
Speaker 8: floor drobes. I had never heard of this before. But
Speaker 8: if you ever delay putting away clean laundry, or maybe
Speaker 8: you've tried on that you didn't wear, and then you
Speaker 8: just start to pile them up like on a chair
Speaker 8: on the floor for days on end. Well, these piles
Speaker 8: they have a name, and it's floordrobe. A floor drobe
Speaker 8: is a place typically on the floor that we leave
Speaker 8: clean or not quite dirty clothes. And I get all
Speaker 8: kinds of ADHD content in my algorithm now. And when
Speaker 8: floordrobe showed up, I was like, oh my gosh, that
Speaker 8: is me. And I looked round my room and all
Speaker 8: my different little floordrobe piles. And I am someone that
Speaker 8: loves laundry, I really do, But then it turns into
Speaker 8: floor drobe because I don't think I necessarily love putting
Speaker 8: the clothes away. Always get distracted, And now I know why.
Speaker 8: I looked up something real quick just now about floor drobes.
Speaker 8: And this is from Billy Roberts, a therapist at Focused
Speaker 8: Mind ADHD Counseling in Columbus, Ohio. He said, when faced
Speaker 8: with a task that is boring, the ADHD brand gets
Speaker 8: overwhelmed and starts craving more interesting tasks. Tedious chores like
Speaker 8: laundry tend to be particularly frustrating because they can pile up,
Speaker 8: leading many with ADHD to feel incredibly overwhelmed and to
Speaker 8: further avoid the task. Now, I'm sure people without ADHD
Speaker 8: have floor drobes, but I think it's just more common
Speaker 8: if you have ADHD. And again, I just like knowing
Speaker 8: why something is happening. I like knowing also how I
Speaker 8: can fix it, which leads me to the strategies that
Speaker 8: I have for you. And these strategies are pretty good.
Speaker 8: Some maybe you know, some you don't, maybe you just
Speaker 8: need a refresher. But if you suffer from ADHD paralysis,
Speaker 8: you definitely will benefit from one of these strategies or
Speaker 8: maybe all of them. I feel like I might need
Speaker 8: to implement like a new one each day to get
Speaker 8: all my stuff done. And what's fun is there are
Speaker 8: four strategies, which is very fitting because it's the four things.
Speaker 8: First thing, break tasks down. You just break them down
Speaker 8: into smaller, manageable steps. Now this sounds so simple, but
Speaker 8: trust me, this is something that works. Instead of saying
Speaker 8: clean the house, we'll break it down to clean the
Speaker 8: kitchen counter, put away laundry, and just you don't end
Speaker 8: up with a floor drobe. Maybe put away this pile,
Speaker 8: put away genes, and then later you can put away
Speaker 8: shirts vacuum one room. The idea is to make the
Speaker 8: task feel less overwhelming. This will really help your brain.
Speaker 8: I know it's simple, but it helps. It seems very
Speaker 8: elementary and like you're having to talk to yourself like
Speaker 8: a child, but when your executive function is out on vacation,
Speaker 8: it needs a talking to like a child. Second thing,
Speaker 8: the Pomodoro technique. Have you heard of this one? I
Speaker 8: feel like I've talked about it on the podcast before,
Speaker 8: but it's basically working in short bursts, usually twenty five
Speaker 8: minutes of folks work, and then that's followed by a
Speaker 8: five minute break. And what this does is it tricks
Speaker 8: your brain into thinking like, oh, I only have twenty
Speaker 8: five minutes of work to do, no big deal. And
Speaker 8: once you get started, it's easier to keep going. Third thing,
Speaker 8: using timer's and external accountability. Sometimes just knowing that someone
Speaker 8: else is counting on you is enough to get you moving,
Speaker 8: whether you know it's a friend, a family member, coworker.
Speaker 8: Having someone check in that can help you break the paralysis.
Speaker 8: And also with the timer thing, I mean that's back
Speaker 8: to the Pomodoro effect. Like you could set a timer
Speaker 8: for twenty five minutes, but you know, we talk about
Speaker 8: the ten minute pus on the podcast A Lot. I
Speaker 8: learned that from my sister. You set a timer for
Speaker 8: ten minutes and you just clean as much as you
Speaker 8: can and that ten minutes, try to get as much
Speaker 8: done as possible. And a lot of times when the
Speaker 8: timer goes off, you're motivated. You keep going.
Speaker 4: You see progress.
Speaker 8: Your brain's like, oh this looks good, I might as
Speaker 8: well keep going, and who knows. You even clean for
Speaker 8: fifteen minutes, which is better than zero, And when you're
Speaker 8: an ADHD paralysis, you're getting zero done. Fourth thing, change
Speaker 8: your environment. If your workspace or home is cluttered or
Speaker 8: full of distractions, clear it out. Even moving to a
Speaker 8: different room or a new spot can help reframe your
Speaker 8: mind and make it easier to start something. So there
Speaker 8: you go, break down tasks, Pomodoro technique, use timers, an
Speaker 8: external accountability, and change your environment. But remember changing environment
Speaker 8: doesn't have to be anything drastic. It can just be
Speaker 8: simply getting up and going to another room. It doesn't
Speaker 8: mean you have to leave your house and go to
Speaker 8: another location. And something that just popped into my head,
Speaker 8: that is a strategy that works for me, and I
Speaker 8: don't know why. I didn't think of it until now,
Speaker 8: but it's the body doubling. It actually came up with
Speaker 8: Kat and I on a Fifth Thing episode recently, so
Speaker 8: I guess I'll throw it in the fifth Strategy. We'll
Speaker 8: at it here the Bonus strategy, just like the Bonus episode,
Speaker 8: but body doubling. That's when you have another person just
Speaker 8: in the room with you while you're trying to accomplish
Speaker 8: a task, and the idea behind it working is just
Speaker 8: having someone there increases your motivation. It's that simple, and personally,
Speaker 8: for me, body doubling works really really well. I was
Speaker 8: researching for this episode and that never came up, but
Speaker 8: it just popped into my head right now, and I'm
Speaker 8: glad that it did, because it's just such a good
Speaker 8: one for me, and maybe it's good for you. And
Speaker 8: it sounds tricky because you think that body doubling means
Speaker 8: that the other person has to be doing the same
Speaker 8: task as you in order for you to be doing it.
Speaker 8: But all that you need from your body double is
Speaker 8: for them to be in the room. If they're helping
Speaker 8: with the task or doing the same thing, sure that's amazing,
Speaker 8: but they just have to be in the room.
Speaker 5: We're going to do it alive. Oh the one, two, three,
Speaker 5: Sore Losers?
Speaker 3: What up, everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most
Speaker 3: about sports, so I'll give you the sports facts, my
Speaker 3: sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'all.
Speaker 9: It's Sison. I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male.
Speaker 9: I live on the North side of Nashville with Bayser,
Speaker 9: my wife. We do have a farm. It's beautiful. A
Speaker 9: lot of acreage, no animals, a lot of crops. Hopefully
Speaker 9: soon corn pumpkins, rye. I believe maybe a little fescue
Speaker 9: to be determined.
Speaker 3: Over to you, coach, And here's a clip from this
Speaker 3: week's episode of The Sore Losers.
Speaker 5: Yeah, how much more does this roller coaster got?
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm feeling great. I cashed out for you know,
Speaker 3: I made a thousand on that last roulette. Hitting those numbers.
Speaker 3: It felt so good. Get on the plane, I'm C
Speaker 3: twenty seven boarding lucky enough. Got a window and I
Speaker 3: get my bag and I'm I walk out and I
Speaker 3: got to get the shuttle to the car. And I
Speaker 3: see the shuttle pulling away and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: don't leave. Me, don't leave me and I wave my hand.
Speaker 3: He stops, not even at the bus stop, lets me on,
Speaker 3: so I always do VIP and I'm like, hell, yeah,
Speaker 3: let's go. We're driving and we passed the turn to
Speaker 3: my parking lot where I parked, and he pulls into
Speaker 3: Lot See and I'm like, son, up a bitch, I'm
Speaker 3: on the wrong bus.
Speaker 5: How dude, All you have to do is remember one letter. Ray.
Speaker 3: I wasn't paying attention. I saw the bus just pulling
Speaker 3: away from the stop and I was like, hey, I
Speaker 3: just don't want to miss it. I don't want to
Speaker 3: miss it, and I just waved my hand. I got on.
Speaker 3: So then I'm in. I got two decisions to make.
Speaker 3: Do I just sit on the bus like an idiot
Speaker 3: and ride it all the way back to the airport,
Speaker 3: or do I say, oh, man, there's my stop and
Speaker 3: get off and just walked a Lot B.
Speaker 5: Wonder how close they are? They walkable?
Speaker 3: In my head they were walkable.
Speaker 5: Ray got it.
Speaker 3: So I got off the bus. Ray, it's about a mile.
Speaker 3: What is happening from Lot Sea to Lot B with
Speaker 3: a suitcase? With a suitcase eight o'clock at night and
Speaker 3: there's no damn sidewalks, I'm trudging through bushes, I'm going
Speaker 3: through the grass. Finally, I put my suitcase in the
Speaker 3: street and I'm rolling it as I walk on the
Speaker 3: side in the grass so it can roll. And then
Speaker 3: I got cars honking at me because I'm blocking traffic
Speaker 3: with my suitcases.
Speaker 4: I walk.
Speaker 3: Then I get to a spot where I got to
Speaker 3: run across four lanes of traffic to get over to
Speaker 3: the go underneath the bridge exactly where you are, and
Speaker 3: then you got to go left down underneath the tunnel.
Speaker 5: And not only that.
Speaker 3: Once I get to Lot B, it's not like I
Speaker 3: parked in the front of Lot B. I parked in
Speaker 3: the very back left ass corner. I mean, sweat is
Speaker 3: just pouring down me as I am making my way, man, And.
Speaker 5: That is a moment you'll never forget for the rest, never.
Speaker 3: Forget for the rest of my life. And I walk
Speaker 3: and I finally get to the back and I get
Speaker 3: in the car and I turn on that ac and
Speaker 3: I'm like, the trip from Hell is over. The trip
Speaker 3: from Hell is absolutely over. See.
Speaker 5: Some people go to Vegas never make their way out. Man,
Speaker 5: You're one of the lucky ones.
Speaker 3: But the one positive at the airport. I did see,
Speaker 3: was this chick walk by me?
Speaker 8: Right?
Speaker 5: And she had her hangers out?
Speaker 3: No, she had some hangers and her shirt said blow
Speaker 3: job queen. And I said, how much? Where were you
Speaker 3: before I got married? Would you like to meet my friend?
Speaker 3: Arnold's all I could think. I was like, Hey, who
Speaker 3: the hell where's that? Like, who advertises? That's unbelieva, it's
Speaker 3: even allowed.
Speaker 5: It's so vulgar.
Speaker 3: I'm like, wow. And she's just walking around like it's normal,
Speaker 3: Like she's smiling and and I'm gonna say this, she
Speaker 3: wasn't ugly.
Speaker 5: So I made a call to my wife.
Speaker 3: I said, hey, you know, we had a bad weekend.
Speaker 3: You know, do you think it would be okay if I.
Speaker 10: Oh?
Speaker 9: Man, dude, that was great, even though it was a
Speaker 9: bad rollercoaster. For the most part it was at least
Speaker 9: one high.
Speaker 3: There was finally a little bit we climbed up a
Speaker 3: little bit, but for the most part it was just
Speaker 3: an absolute disaster.
Speaker 5: Disaster.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy. It was that cold, that cold man.
Speaker 3: For me, Jenny and wife, nobody could win. It is
Speaker 3: bad man, but he.
Speaker 5: Was his senses, like how did our big boss do he?
Speaker 5: Who knows? Okay, who knows? How bones do?
Speaker 3: Who knows?
Speaker 9: I'm always curious that you know, Like, oh, that person
Speaker 9: ended up winning five K, what that's amazing? Oh h
Speaker 9: Jenny and Sales, she killed it. She won ten thousand.
Speaker 9: What do you hear about Sarah? Yeah, she won a corvette.
Speaker 9: There's always some story. Yeah, or it's like every single
Speaker 9: person lost.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm no idea, man, I know my four, my
Speaker 3: four crew, we lost. There's a blood bath out there.
Speaker 9: But I did like that you jumped around to different casinos.
Speaker 9: You can't lose at the same casino for four straight days. No, Yeah,
Speaker 9: I got to mix up the joju.
Speaker 3: I moved, I moved, I moved, I moved, I moved
Speaker 3: and didn't damn matter it.
Speaker 5: You got to mix up the juju Smith Schuster.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Hey, have a great Monday, guys, and
Speaker 3: listen to what we need tonight. Just to give me
Speaker 3: some kind I need the Bengals just to win the game.
Speaker 3: Just win the game, please, I don't care. Just win
Speaker 3: the game. That's all I need.
Speaker 5: Oh is that another bet you played?
Speaker 11: No?
Speaker 3: No, and just my eliminator, my eliminator.
Speaker 5: Cary Lone.
Speaker 12: She's a queen and talking so she's getting not afraid
Speaker 12: to face episode, so just let it flow. No one
Speaker 12: can do we quiet have a cary Lone. Its sounding carolud.
Speaker 10: I know the basics now, like I I know, like
Speaker 10: even on the voice, I did not know how to
Speaker 10: do an interview at all. They had to be very
Speaker 10: very patient with me. I was like, I just I
Speaker 10: don't know, Like eh, I was just like whatever, I
Speaker 10: don't even know what to talk about. You're sixteen years old. No,
Speaker 10: but yeah, once all of that passed, it was I
Speaker 10: got better, I got in a routine. I was kind
Speaker 10: of I was still very very much a teenager. Like
Speaker 10: I did radio tour and stuff a few times, and
Speaker 10: that that was that was hard because I they saw
Speaker 10: me as a teenager. I still very awkward and awkward looking.
Speaker 10: And by the last radio tour I had grown up
Speaker 10: a lot. So to prove yourself to you know, radio
Speaker 10: and just people in the industry at such like vult
Speaker 10: like just fragile years. So much is changing so much.
Speaker 11: I mean, I don't know how you survived. Did you
Speaker 11: have a mental breakdown ever? Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 10: I but the really mental breakdowns were when I like
Speaker 10: got older and started to live in relationships and do
Speaker 10: the music industry at the same time. I'm like, oh
Speaker 10: my god, I'm about to go crazy because these people
Speaker 10: I'm dating are not great.
Speaker 11: So did you have you had a did you have
Speaker 11: like one particular toxic relationship, because there's a whole string,
Speaker 11: like special place in hell for this person. I mean, uh,
Speaker 11: actually loved that song. I love that one that kind
Speaker 11: of but I'm sure it was turned out to be bad.
Speaker 11: Is this all the same person it was?
Speaker 10: It was there was a little moment there that was
Speaker 10: a little interesting.
Speaker 11: But is it all the same person that this is about?
Speaker 11: Oh no, I mean there's so you were getting a
Speaker 11: string of bad guys.
Speaker 10: Oh yeah, I did not know how to be. I
Speaker 10: learned a lot, learned a lot, and I won't, you know,
Speaker 10: totally hate on him, but yeah, I mean I had
Speaker 10: I saw this thing where they're like, you have three
Speaker 10: loves in your life throughout your entire life or something,
Speaker 10: and I'm like, that's kind of kind of accurate because
Speaker 10: I had my high school like just super super naive.
Speaker 10: I'm like, I wish him very well, but that was
Speaker 10: not love at all. It was just I was very
Speaker 10: very young. But we lived together here like right off
Speaker 10: the voice, like we knew each other before and he
Speaker 10: knew me before that. And then after the voice, he
Speaker 10: was like, it just was way too young, yeah to
Speaker 10: go through any of that, Yeah, especially as a as
Speaker 10: a younger boy.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 11: Yeah, Like I'm sure it's turning it for you to
Speaker 11: handle it now. He's trying to like pop in to
Speaker 11: the world with you. So that was a long long
Speaker 11: time ago.
Speaker 10: And then that ended, and then I was single, and
Speaker 10: then I got into a relationship that was very I
Speaker 10: thought I was going to marry the guy.
Speaker 11: I feel like, I remember when you got in this
Speaker 11: relationship because I remember seeing it on Instagram and I
Speaker 11: was like, Okay, it feels like a big relationship.
Speaker 10: Yeah, and then it turned out not to be.
Speaker 11: Tell us the red flags first, So for people listening,
Speaker 11: when you see these red flags, they're actually red flags.
Speaker 10: I got a text from a random number and it
Speaker 10: was a girl and she was like, Hey, are you
Speaker 10: and this person a thing? Because we were kind of
Speaker 10: talking and I just wanted to make sure and I'm like, hmm,
Speaker 10: we've been dating a week and this is already happening,
Speaker 10: and so I want to stay. He was very loving,
Speaker 10: very loving, and I was just he knew how to
Speaker 10: do everything. He was like that type of guy. He
Speaker 10: knew where he just like yeah, I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 10: this is this is so awesome. So I was very
Speaker 10: blinded and the rest was history and I we did it.
Speaker 10: Take away is fine. Did it take a while to
Speaker 10: get out of the relationship? Took a lot to get
Speaker 10: out because towards the end of the last year of
Speaker 10: the relationship and we got to a point where his
Speaker 10: mom was like, send me pictures of your favorite rings,
Speaker 10: like it was I was like, this is gonna be
Speaker 10: my guy, even though we have little things to work through.
Speaker 10: And so the last year of it, it just completely
Speaker 10: went downhill. And I'm such a caretaker. I'm just like,
Speaker 10: what do you need? And if you're in a bad place,
Speaker 10: I'm like, I'm not going anywhere type of thing.
Speaker 11: Like you're like, I'm gonna come meet you in there
Speaker 11: and you'll go sacrifice yourself, yeah, to meet them, And.
Speaker 10: That's what that art. That was the case, and so
Speaker 10: I did not focus on anything about me at all,
Speaker 10: And it was like, oh, while I'm doing this, he's
Speaker 10: entertaining other women, and I'm like I So I ran
Speaker 10: myself dry I was like, I and then trying to
Speaker 10: be this trying to sing, go out on stage, and
Speaker 10: that's not an easy schedule. And so when I get
Speaker 10: stressed and I get anxiety, I don't have an appetite.
Speaker 10: So then I lose weight very very quickly, and so
Speaker 10: that gets misled online. So they're like, oh, I get
Speaker 10: shamed for that all the time. They're like, you're so skinny,
Speaker 10: and are you intorexic? And I mean people comment on
Speaker 10: it all the time and controls all the time. Oh yeah,
Speaker 10: oh yeah. And so that time I had lost so
Speaker 10: much weight to the point where my mom was like
Speaker 10: freaking out and I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine. When
Speaker 10: I was not fine, and towards the end of it,
Speaker 10: he would like break up with me randomly, just randomly,
Speaker 10: and I'm like, what did I what happen? What did
Speaker 10: I do? You're questioning your whole worth. Then we'd get
Speaker 10: back together because I was just so wrapped into it.
Speaker 10: This was the last time we got back together. I
Speaker 10: had a girl. She was a college girl. They met
Speaker 10: out on the lake and she sent me a snapchat
Speaker 10: of her laying on his couch and him in a
Speaker 10: towel closing the blinds. Yeah, yeah, Like I saw a
Speaker 10: visual that was like the very very last of it.
Speaker 10: It was just so bad, and it was like at
Speaker 10: that point I was like, oh my gosh, like this
Speaker 10: is insane. And then I remember I was out with
Speaker 10: Jordan Davis singing Midnight Crisis and we were out on
Speaker 10: the Lukecombs tour and that was like my job to
Speaker 10: go out and sing Midnight Crisis with Jordan. It was
Speaker 10: so fun, so fun. And that was like when we
Speaker 10: were not together but still fighting all the time. It
Speaker 10: was like we still were in contact. And I get
Speaker 10: a fan. Actually, a couple DMed me and they were like,
Speaker 10: hey girl. So we were at Kava and I know
Speaker 10: this was your boyfriend, but I know this isn't you.
Speaker 10: And they were like wrapped around each other, just waiting
Speaker 10: to get food. Got that after I got off stage,
Speaker 10: and I got that DM.
Speaker 11: And you're just living with your gut falling down all
Speaker 11: the time. You're just like swallowing.
Speaker 10: My body is just being destroyed. So after you got
Speaker 10: off stage, you got that text. I got that DM,
Speaker 10: and my best friend Kyle was with me, and I
Speaker 10: just handed I didn't even say anything. I just handed
Speaker 10: it on the phone, and if you're like living your
Speaker 10: dreams on stage, we were having so much fun. You're
Speaker 10: living keaven and hell at the same time, seriously, and
Speaker 10: we are having so much fun. And that's just life.
Speaker 10: Does kill the devil does. He's like, Hey, you're having
Speaker 10: a good time and you're trying to like live your life,
Speaker 10: but never mind me ruin it for you.
Speaker 11: Yeah, And so so you were like actually in complete
Speaker 11: turmoil while living some of the best moments of your life.
Speaker 13: Hey, it's Mike d and this week a movie Mike's
Speaker 13: Movie Podcast. I am celebrating Hispanic heritage a month and
Speaker 13: sharing what I believe are the most essential movies when
Speaker 13: it comes to representing Mexican American life. My parents came
Speaker 13: here from Mexico, and I shared why these movies represent
Speaker 13: the things that they went through. I talked about things
Speaker 13: that I never really talked about before and all because
Speaker 13: of movies. So be sure to check it out in
Speaker 13: its entirety. It would mean a lot to me. But
Speaker 13: right now, here's just a little bit of movie Mike's
Speaker 13: Movie Podcast. The first one in this starter pack has
Speaker 13: to be La Bamba, which is the biopick of Richie Vallens.
Speaker 13: He was the first Mexican American superstar, and he sadly
Speaker 13: passed the way just eight months after his big breakthrough,
Speaker 13: so his entire career was less than a year. And
Speaker 13: as a kid, this movie was so impactful to me because,
Speaker 13: like Richie Vallens, I wanted to be a rock star
Speaker 13: and seeing somebody who has brown skin be in that
Speaker 13: role of rock star was so inspiring to me. That
Speaker 13: is what I wanted to do. Before I was doing podcasting,
Speaker 13: before I was doing radio, I was playing in bands,
Speaker 13: singing and playing guitar, and I'd always think back of
Speaker 13: this movie and think, oh, man, I want to look
Speaker 13: cool like Richie Vallens. And I think now as an adult,
Speaker 13: it is inspiring to me to think about the time
Speaker 13: that he did this in back when there were not
Speaker 13: people at all who look like him, at the top
Speaker 13: of the radio charts, playing on television, selling albums the
Speaker 13: way he did. And one of the scenes and moments
Speaker 13: in this movie that really resonated with me was Richie
Speaker 13: Valen's decision to change his name to be more appealing
Speaker 13: to this American audience. Here's that moment from La Bamba.
Speaker 4: Your professional name from now on.
Speaker 14: It's Richie with the T ri tchie.
Speaker 11: I got a new last name for you, too, Valence
Speaker 11: with an S Richie Vallens.
Speaker 4: As I grab you, I don't like it, that's for sure, man.
Speaker 13: I mean Valenzuela was our dad's last name.
Speaker 5: You can't just cut it in half.
Speaker 14: It's no big deal.
Speaker 13: People in this business they changed their names like they
Speaker 13: change wives.
Speaker 5: Even me.
Speaker 12: My last name is Koon.
Speaker 13: I kind of did this in school without thinking about
Speaker 13: it because Mike isn't my real name, and growing up
Speaker 13: I was called my My family actually gave me the
Speaker 13: nickname Mikey because of a movie, obviously, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Speaker 13: You have Mikey aka Michelangelo, and we were all huge
Speaker 13: fans of that movie as a family, so everybody just
Speaker 13: called me Mikey growing up. Eventually, I thought, I don't
Speaker 13: want to be called Mike anymore. I don't want to
Speaker 13: be an adult in college of people called me Mikey.
Speaker 13: So I dropped a y and went by Mike. And
Speaker 13: then I developed a stage name because I was working
Speaker 13: in radio and there are so many mics. My last
Speaker 13: name for being a Mexican is pretty common if you
Speaker 13: search it you get so many results. And also, my
Speaker 13: decision to change my name to give me kind of
Speaker 13: an alter ego was something I did just because I
Speaker 13: felt my name was common. But I also feel like
Speaker 13: if you see the name Mike on paper, you don't
Speaker 13: know what you're getting. And I don't know if that
Speaker 13: has had some impact on some of the opportunities I've
Speaker 13: been given over the years, because you hear the name
Speaker 13: Mike d stre and you don't really know what I am.
Speaker 13: Some people assume I'm Ittallion. But I just created the
Speaker 13: name because I felt it was unique and because I
Speaker 13: felt that I could get that name on every single
Speaker 13: social media platform, which I have to this day Mike
Speaker 13: Cadistro on all socials. So the history of me changing
Speaker 13: my name all goes back to La Bamba. That is
Speaker 13: why I consider this movie to be an essential for
Speaker 13: Mexican Americans. We'll get out of the eighties now, and
Speaker 13: next up on the list, I have from nineteen ninety
Speaker 13: seven Selena, which is the story of the life and
Speaker 13: tragic death of Selena Quinta niep Edies. She was a
Speaker 13: Mexican American singer who rose to fame in the early
Speaker 13: nineteen nineties. And obviously the movie serves as a biopic.
Speaker 13: What I feel that this movie does a great job
Speaker 13: of is showing what it's like to be a Mexican
Speaker 13: American artist in a predominantly white industry and how you
Speaker 13: struggle to maintain your heritage while also trying to achieve
Speaker 13: mainstream success, in Selina's case, specifically being a Mexican American
Speaker 13: who doesn't primarily speak Spanish. And there's a scene where
Speaker 13: her dad, he is describing that struggle of having to
Speaker 13: live in both of these worlds and be twice as perfect.
Speaker 3: Being Mexican American is tough.
Speaker 14: Anglos jump all over you if you don't speak English perfectly.
Speaker 14: Mexicans jump all over you if you don't speak Spanish perfectly.
Speaker 3: We've got to be twice as perfect as anybody else.
Speaker 14: I mean, we gotta know about John Wayne and Phil
Speaker 14: in Funding, we gotta know about Frank Sinatra and Augustine Lada,
Speaker 14: we gotta know about Oprah and Christina. And we got
Speaker 14: to prove to the Mexicans how Mexican we are, and
Speaker 14: we got to prove to the Americans how American we are.
Speaker 3: We gotta be more.
Speaker 14: Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than Americans both
Speaker 14: at the same time.
Speaker 3: It's exhausting.
Speaker 13: I would quote that line all the time.
Speaker 3: It's exhausting, which it is.
Speaker 13: And I've experienced this a lot, not just on a
Speaker 13: professional level, but just on a per level. Of those
Speaker 13: times when I would go to Mexico to visit my
Speaker 13: family there and they look at you differently because they know, oh,
Speaker 13: your parents may be from here, but you are an American,
Speaker 13: and they are over criticizing your Spanish. They make you
Speaker 13: feel that you're kind of a sellout for speaking English,
Speaker 13: dressing the way that you do, thinking that you're better
Speaker 13: than them because you're wearing American brands. They'll call you names,
Speaker 13: they'll make fun of you if you don't know all
Speaker 13: the slang. You better not be caught dead speaking English
Speaker 13: in Mexico because they will grill you. And then you
Speaker 13: come back to the United States and you have to
Speaker 13: speak perfect English. And let me tell you, if you
Speaker 13: grew up speaking Spanish or any other language that is
Speaker 13: not English, it is a very difficult language to learn.
Speaker 13: The English language makes no sense. And I was lucky
Speaker 13: that my older brother and older sister had already learned English.
Speaker 13: Even though they came here and they learned Spanish first,
Speaker 13: and they learned English by watching TV a lot, watching movies.
Speaker 13: Even my mom watching Sesame Street with me as a kid,
Speaker 13: she would learn English from that, and obviously in her
Speaker 13: job now has had to learn English. My dad knows English,
Speaker 13: even though they still prefer to speak Spanish. They knew
Speaker 13: that living in the United States, it was going to
Speaker 13: be difficult for them if they did not learn it.
Speaker 13: But there is this pressure from both sides that you
Speaker 13: have to be the best of both worlds because if not,
Speaker 13: you're seen as being a sellout. You're seeing as being
Speaker 13: an outcast. And for me, that is really the message
Speaker 13: that this movie drove home. Also obviously showcasing the music
Speaker 13: of Selena and how impactful her career was, how quickly
Speaker 13: she rose to fame, and how sad her story is,
Speaker 13: which sadly all the stories about Mexican and American musicians
Speaker 13: don't end will spoiler alert, but Selena is a classic.
Speaker 13: That's why I included it as the third movie on
Speaker 13: my Essentials list.
Speaker 5: Hey, thanks for listening to this week Sunday Sampler.
Speaker 1: New episodes are out weekly, so there's always something to
Speaker 1: listen to. If you have something you heard here, please
Speaker 1: go and follow and subscribe. That would help us a bunch.
Speaker 1: Thank you and have a great week everybody.