1 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 1: Hey guys, Sunday Sampler Time. Some clips from some of 2 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: the podcasts this week on the Nashville Podcast Network. Coming Up, 3 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,239 Speaker 1: I talked with Don Felder, who was in the Eagles, 4 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 1: and he talks about the story behind Hotel California, which 5 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: he wrote. But we're gonna start with a clip from 6 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: Take This Personally, where Morgan talked with therapist doctor Amy 7 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: Tran about childhood trauma and how it impacts us as adults. 8 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: They also discuss things we should unlearn in our lives. 9 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: So here is a clip from Take This Personally with 10 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,160 Speaker 1: Morgan Heughlsman. 11 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 2: Personallysman, I'm excited to welcome Amy Tran, who is a 12 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 2: therapist and currently completely her training to be a psychologist 13 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 2: in Canada. 14 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 3: How are you doing today? 15 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,960 Speaker 4: Thank you, I'm doing great. Thanks for having me on 16 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 4: the show. 17 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 2: Do you find it difficult for people to kind of 18 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 2: address that because they are still as an adult. I'm 19 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 2: super close with my parents. I'm not looking back and 20 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 2: finding anything, but I'm sure there is something there. Do 21 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 2: you find it's harder to do that when there is 22 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 2: a close relationship because you almost don't want to jeopardize it, 23 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,199 Speaker 2: or you don't want to lose it. Do you find 24 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 2: that people find it hard to kind of attack that 25 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 2: place because it's such a personal moment of their life. 26 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,759 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, one hundred percent. People say all the time, oh, 27 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 4: but I love my parents, or but I know they 28 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 4: did a good job. So it's really holding that space 29 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 4: for the person to be like, Okay, I love my parents, 30 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 4: and I know they did the best that they could, 31 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 4: but there's some things in which maybe it was outside 32 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 4: of their awareness and they reacted to situations a certain 33 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 4: way that had long lasting impacts on us. So, I mean, 34 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 4: my perspective of it, and what I invite everyone to 35 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 4: really see is that most humans are just trying the 36 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 4: best that they can with what they know at the time, 37 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 4: the resources they have, and I believe parents are doing 38 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 4: that too. That is the kind of perspective that I 39 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 4: want people to take when we're talking about our parents, 40 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 4: is that no, they're not maliciously trying to traumatize you 41 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 4: or create anxiety and depression in your life. They were 42 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 4: just doing their best that they could and then this 43 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,639 Speaker 4: is how it turned out. So it is tough though 44 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,959 Speaker 4: for some people to talk about it. 45 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 2: How can you give them tips to be like, you're 46 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 2: not going to be perfect, but this is what you 47 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 2: can do. Is there things that parents can do to 48 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: ensure their kids at least grow up in a sense 49 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 2: that have an idea of what's happening around them and 50 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 2: how to address those situations as they get older. 51 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 4: I think that first of all is to be compassionate 52 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 4: towards yourself. Right to parent is not only just ensuring 53 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 4: survival and that there's food on the table and that 54 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 4: the kid is living in an enriched life, but it's 55 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 4: a lot to help a child label their emotions, work 56 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 4: through their emotions. There is so much work involved in 57 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 4: that because if you, as a parent are not comfortable 58 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 4: with emotions, if you, as a parent don't know how 59 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 4: to handle your own emotions or soothe yourself, it's going 60 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 4: to be really hard for you to do that for 61 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 4: your child and model that for your child. So that's 62 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 4: why it comes back to parents are just doing the 63 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 4: best that they can. Be compassionate with yourself. Remember that 64 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 4: it's a learning process. And if I can invite the 65 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 4: parents out there who are listening to think about two 66 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 4: things safety. How can you make your child feel safe 67 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 4: if you think about your child as not just a 68 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 4: human being but a nervous system as well, that will 69 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 4: react to a loud voice, that will react to an 70 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 4: angry face, and will react to conflict around the home. 71 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 4: How can we make them feel a little bit safe? 72 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 4: And also is that all children want to feel validated? 73 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 4: Seen in her If they're crying and you think what 74 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 4: they're crying about is the silliest thing before jumping to 75 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 4: well is it really worth crying about? Knowledge that you 76 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 4: understand where that sadness is coming from. Validate, validate, validate, validate, 77 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 4: is what I have to say. So how can we 78 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 4: create safety for children? And how can we make sure 79 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 4: that they feel validated? Even if you disagree. First, just 80 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 4: let your child know that you understand where they're coming from. 81 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 2: And I think as humans everybody can feel that sense 82 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 2: of validation that we all want. That's something that we 83 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 2: just keep having throughout our lives. 84 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 3: It never goes away. 85 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: So Christ Appleton's a decent friend of mine, and his 86 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 1: song gets covered all the time. A lot of a 87 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: songs do like Tennessee Whiskey, which is not his song, 88 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: but one that he covered and repopular and gets covered 89 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,280 Speaker 1: all the time. Are people constantly wanting you to hear 90 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: covers of your songs, like don't listen to this? Does 91 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: that happen a lot where it's like listen to this 92 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: player or not so much anymore. 93 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 5: It happens a lot. 94 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 6: Just if I'm going through Instagram or Facebook or something. 95 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 5: There's all that you're TikTok. 96 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 6: There's people that want to show me that they can 97 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,159 Speaker 6: play my solo, which is really flattering. You know, it's 98 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 6: not an easy solo by any stretch of the imagination, 99 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 6: but it is flattering for that many people to try 100 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 6: to attempt. There's actually I saw a trombone player doing 101 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 6: the solo for Hotel California, and trombonas like this guy 102 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 6: is a great player, but I can't imagine a sewer 103 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 6: pipe players who playing. 104 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 5: An hotel. So I watched it. 105 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 3: Did you write about like when you wrote that We're 106 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 3: on the beach? 107 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 5: Like, where did that come to you? 108 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 3: Like that? 109 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: Because it wasn't written as part of the whole song, right, 110 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: didn't you write the intro to that song just kind 111 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: of by itself. 112 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,280 Speaker 6: What happened was I had rented a house on a 113 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 6: beach in Malibu. I had two little kids. One was 114 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 6: about a year old and one was like two and 115 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,039 Speaker 6: a half. 116 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 5: And I was hitting on the couch. 117 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 6: It was just a beautiful sunny California day and the 118 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 6: sun was glistening on the surf as it's coming in, 119 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 6: and my kids were in the sand on this swing set. 120 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 6: And so I have this guitar, acoustic guitar, and I'm 121 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 6: just sitting there and I start playing this chord progression, 122 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 6: and about three or four times through the progression, I said, 123 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 6: I have to go in the back bedroom and record 124 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 6: a little bit of it, because if I don't record 125 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 6: it tomorrow, allgo What was that thing that was? So 126 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 6: So I run in a back bedroom, cord about I 127 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 6: don't know, two or three times through the verse progression, 128 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 6: and just put it away. It was actually my one 129 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 6: year old daughter's bedroom was my recording studio when she 130 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 6: was away playing, I could go in and Mike write 131 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 6: demos and stuff. Anyway, So I recorded that, and then 132 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 6: we started writing song ideas for the album that was 133 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 6: untitled at the time that was going to be Hotel California. 134 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 6: So I wound up writing sixteen or seventeen complete basic 135 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 6: tracks where I would go in and take an idea 136 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 6: like that little progression, and i'd fill it out and 137 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 6: write a chorus part to it, and I'd play bass 138 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 6: on it. And I had a little rhythm rhythm drum 139 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 6: machine called a rhythm ace that you used to see 140 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 6: on piano players and bars that they could set it 141 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 6: to a cha chaar, set it to a rock beat. 142 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 6: So I used that, and then I just overdubbed a 143 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 6: bunch of stuff on this little four track tape recorder 144 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 6: three to one, then fill up two more tracks and 145 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,559 Speaker 6: about those three to one, and so it was mono 146 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,280 Speaker 6: at the time. I just I should have brought my 147 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,160 Speaker 6: laptop because I have a digital copy of it. I 148 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,040 Speaker 6: could play you a little bit of it, and it 149 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 6: sounds I played the beginning with a twelve string and 150 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 6: then these electrics come in. The solo at the very 151 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 6: end is pretty much like it is on the record, 152 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 6: with the exception of some walshisms. When Joe and I 153 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 6: played together, we came up with just great unique stuff. 154 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 6: So I put that idea on a cassette with like 155 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 6: fifteen or sixteen other song ideas. One became Victim of Love, 156 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 6: and Henley liked that one that sounded like a Mexican 157 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 6: reggae and so he was off and running writing lyrics 158 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 6: to that song and came up with the lyric Idea 159 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 6: and lyrics for Hotel California, which was on top of 160 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 6: that music bed. So that's kind of how that all 161 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 6: came together. 162 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: And I didn't want to get you out. I read 163 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: your book as soon as it came out, like the 164 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: week it came out. I devoured it, Like I'm a 165 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: literal fan. I knew the story about the beach. I 166 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: was like, I don't know, I think it's a beach, 167 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: but I knew because I as soon as that book 168 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: came out, I crushed. And it's really one of my 169 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: favorite like music bio books ever, and I think it 170 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: represents Again we're just talking about back in your childhood, 171 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: like Gainesville, Florida. What was your environment, What were you 172 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: surrounded by musically in Gainesville that even created an interest 173 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: to want to hear music that wasn't the typical white 174 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 1: music that you got there, Like where was that coming from? 175 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: Like that desire to learn and be around different kinds 176 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: of music. There was nothing else to do. There was 177 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: no internet. 178 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 6: Television had three channels, you know, it's ABC, NBCCBS, and 179 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,679 Speaker 6: then they went off the air shortly after sunset. 180 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 1: Played the Starspangle by International Anthem. I was telling one 181 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 1: of our people here like I caught the tail end 182 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: of that in my life, and they were like, what 183 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: the channel would go off? I was like, yeah, and 184 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: then I would show the screen of his hold. 185 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 5: Yeah. 186 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,599 Speaker 6: And there was no really individual entertainment you could do. 187 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 6: So I wound up getting a guitar and just trying 188 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 6: to figure out how it worked and. 189 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 3: How'd you get the guitar? 190 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 5: What did that? 191 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,679 Speaker 6: There was a kid that lived across the street from me, 192 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,719 Speaker 6: and up in the top of one of his closets 193 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 6: I saw in a guitar and it had some broken 194 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 6: strings on it. And my brother and I had just 195 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 6: come back down from South Carolina and my favorite uncle 196 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 6: had given us a box of cherry bombs and we 197 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,319 Speaker 6: hit him in the trunk from my dad. My dad 198 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 6: wouldn't let us play with those things. So when it 199 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,199 Speaker 6: would rain, we lived on a dirt road that was 200 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,559 Speaker 6: crowned and there was a ditch on both sides of 201 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 6: the road for all the Florida run off, and to 202 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 6: get from the road to your house, there was a 203 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:29,200 Speaker 6: big metal culvert that the water would run through underneath 204 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 6: your driveway. So when it was raining, and we would 205 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 6: run out with these cherry bombs, light them and throw 206 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 6: them up stream and tie them so they would float 207 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:40,559 Speaker 6: down into that culvert and then boom, blow up and 208 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 6: everybody would come running. 209 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 5: Out to see what was going on, and we would 210 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 5: be back in the house hiding. 211 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:47,839 Speaker 6: So this kid comes out, he sees us doing it, 212 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 6: and he says, oh, it's some of those cherry bombs. 213 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 6: I said, well, I'll give you a handful of these 214 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,079 Speaker 6: cherry bombs if you can get me that guitar that 215 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 6: you have. We'll make a trade. So he runs back 216 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 6: to his house, gets his guitar, brings it over, give 217 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 6: him cherry bombs. Fifteen minutes later, cherry bombs are gone. 218 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 5: But I got a guitar. We didn't have any money. 219 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 6: That was the only way we could get started. 220 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:33,359 Speaker 5: Good cast up little. 221 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:33,599 Speaker 7: Food for you. 222 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 3: So life ain't. 223 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:40,199 Speaker 7: Oh it's pretty bad. It's pretty beautiful that for a 224 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 7: little more, said he can't. You're kicking it with four 225 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 7: with Amy Brown. 226 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,079 Speaker 8: I saw this thing on Instagram the other day about 227 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 8: floor drobes. I had never heard of this before. But 228 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 8: if you ever delay putting away clean laundry, or maybe 229 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,079 Speaker 8: you've tried on that you didn't wear, and then you 230 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 8: just start to pile them up like on a chair 231 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 8: on the floor for days on end. Well, these piles 232 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 8: they have a name, and it's floordrobe. A floor drobe 233 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 8: is a place typically on the floor that we leave 234 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 8: clean or not quite dirty clothes. And I get all 235 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 8: kinds of ADHD content in my algorithm now. And when 236 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,719 Speaker 8: floordrobe showed up, I was like, oh my gosh, that 237 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 8: is me. And I looked round my room and all 238 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 8: my different little floordrobe piles. And I am someone that 239 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 8: loves laundry, I really do, But then it turns into 240 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 8: floor drobe because I don't think I necessarily love putting 241 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 8: the clothes away. Always get distracted, And now I know why. 242 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:48,559 Speaker 8: I looked up something real quick just now about floor drobes. 243 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 8: And this is from Billy Roberts, a therapist at Focused 244 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 8: Mind ADHD Counseling in Columbus, Ohio. He said, when faced 245 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 8: with a task that is boring, the ADHD brand gets 246 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:05,079 Speaker 8: overwhelmed and starts craving more interesting tasks. Tedious chores like 247 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 8: laundry tend to be particularly frustrating because they can pile up, 248 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 8: leading many with ADHD to feel incredibly overwhelmed and to 249 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 8: further avoid the task. Now, I'm sure people without ADHD 250 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 8: have floor drobes, but I think it's just more common 251 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 8: if you have ADHD. And again, I just like knowing 252 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 8: why something is happening. I like knowing also how I 253 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 8: can fix it, which leads me to the strategies that 254 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 8: I have for you. And these strategies are pretty good. 255 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 8: Some maybe you know, some you don't, maybe you just 256 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 8: need a refresher. But if you suffer from ADHD paralysis, 257 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 8: you definitely will benefit from one of these strategies or 258 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 8: maybe all of them. I feel like I might need 259 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 8: to implement like a new one each day to get 260 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 8: all my stuff done. And what's fun is there are 261 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,680 Speaker 8: four strategies, which is very fitting because it's the four things. 262 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:05,559 Speaker 8: First thing, break tasks down. You just break them down 263 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 8: into smaller, manageable steps. Now this sounds so simple, but 264 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 8: trust me, this is something that works. Instead of saying 265 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 8: clean the house, we'll break it down to clean the 266 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 8: kitchen counter, put away laundry, and just you don't end 267 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 8: up with a floor drobe. Maybe put away this pile, 268 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 8: put away genes, and then later you can put away 269 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 8: shirts vacuum one room. The idea is to make the 270 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 8: task feel less overwhelming. This will really help your brain. 271 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 8: I know it's simple, but it helps. It seems very 272 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,599 Speaker 8: elementary and like you're having to talk to yourself like 273 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:46,600 Speaker 8: a child, but when your executive function is out on vacation, 274 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,559 Speaker 8: it needs a talking to like a child. Second thing, 275 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 8: the Pomodoro technique. Have you heard of this one? I 276 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 8: feel like I've talked about it on the podcast before, 277 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 8: but it's basically working in short bursts, usually twenty five 278 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,599 Speaker 8: minutes of folks work, and then that's followed by a 279 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 8: five minute break. And what this does is it tricks 280 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 8: your brain into thinking like, oh, I only have twenty 281 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 8: five minutes of work to do, no big deal. And 282 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 8: once you get started, it's easier to keep going. Third thing, 283 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 8: using timer's and external accountability. Sometimes just knowing that someone 284 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 8: else is counting on you is enough to get you moving, 285 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,479 Speaker 8: whether you know it's a friend, a family member, coworker. 286 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 8: Having someone check in that can help you break the paralysis. 287 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 8: And also with the timer thing, I mean that's back 288 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,600 Speaker 8: to the Pomodoro effect. Like you could set a timer 289 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 8: for twenty five minutes, but you know, we talk about 290 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 8: the ten minute pus on the podcast A Lot. I 291 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 8: learned that from my sister. You set a timer for 292 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 8: ten minutes and you just clean as much as you 293 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 8: can and that ten minutes, try to get as much 294 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 8: done as possible. And a lot of times when the 295 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 8: timer goes off, you're motivated. You keep going. 296 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 4: You see progress. 297 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 8: Your brain's like, oh this looks good, I might as 298 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 8: well keep going, and who knows. You even clean for 299 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 8: fifteen minutes, which is better than zero, And when you're 300 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 8: an ADHD paralysis, you're getting zero done. Fourth thing, change 301 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,360 Speaker 8: your environment. If your workspace or home is cluttered or 302 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 8: full of distractions, clear it out. Even moving to a 303 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 8: different room or a new spot can help reframe your 304 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 8: mind and make it easier to start something. So there 305 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 8: you go, break down tasks, Pomodoro technique, use timers, an 306 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 8: external accountability, and change your environment. But remember changing environment 307 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 8: doesn't have to be anything drastic. It can just be 308 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 8: simply getting up and going to another room. It doesn't 309 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 8: mean you have to leave your house and go to 310 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 8: another location. And something that just popped into my head, 311 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 8: that is a strategy that works for me, and I 312 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 8: don't know why. I didn't think of it until now, 313 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,120 Speaker 8: but it's the body doubling. It actually came up with 314 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 8: Kat and I on a Fifth Thing episode recently, so 315 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 8: I guess I'll throw it in the fifth Strategy. We'll 316 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 8: at it here the Bonus strategy, just like the Bonus episode, 317 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 8: but body doubling. That's when you have another person just 318 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 8: in the room with you while you're trying to accomplish 319 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 8: a task, and the idea behind it working is just 320 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 8: having someone there increases your motivation. It's that simple, and personally, 321 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 8: for me, body doubling works really really well. I was 322 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 8: researching for this episode and that never came up, but 323 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 8: it just popped into my head right now, and I'm 324 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 8: glad that it did, because it's just such a good 325 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 8: one for me, and maybe it's good for you. And 326 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 8: it sounds tricky because you think that body doubling means 327 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 8: that the other person has to be doing the same 328 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 8: task as you in order for you to be doing it. 329 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 8: But all that you need from your body double is 330 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 8: for them to be in the room. If they're helping 331 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 8: with the task or doing the same thing, sure that's amazing, 332 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 8: but they just have to be in the room. 333 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 5: We're going to do it alive. Oh the one, two, three, 334 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 5: Sore Losers? 335 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 3: What up, everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most 336 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 3: about sports, so I'll give you the sports facts, my 337 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:16,120 Speaker 3: sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'all. 338 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 9: It's Sison. I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male. 339 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 9: I live on the North side of Nashville with Bayser, 340 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 9: my wife. We do have a farm. It's beautiful. A 341 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 9: lot of acreage, no animals, a lot of crops. Hopefully 342 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 9: soon corn pumpkins, rye. I believe maybe a little fescue 343 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 9: to be determined. 344 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,920 Speaker 3: Over to you, coach, And here's a clip from this 345 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 3: week's episode of The Sore Losers. 346 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, how much more does this roller coaster got? 347 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm feeling great. I cashed out for you know, 348 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 3: I made a thousand on that last roulette. Hitting those numbers. 349 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 3: It felt so good. Get on the plane, I'm C 350 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:58,399 Speaker 3: twenty seven boarding lucky enough. Got a window and I 351 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 3: get my bag and I'm I walk out and I 352 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 3: got to get the shuttle to the car. And I 353 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 3: see the shuttle pulling away and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, 354 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 3: don't leave. Me, don't leave me and I wave my hand. 355 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 3: He stops, not even at the bus stop, lets me on, 356 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,120 Speaker 3: so I always do VIP and I'm like, hell, yeah, 357 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 3: let's go. We're driving and we passed the turn to 358 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 3: my parking lot where I parked, and he pulls into 359 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 3: Lot See and I'm like, son, up a bitch, I'm 360 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 3: on the wrong bus. 361 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,640 Speaker 5: How dude, All you have to do is remember one letter. Ray. 362 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 3: I wasn't paying attention. I saw the bus just pulling 363 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 3: away from the stop and I was like, hey, I 364 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,440 Speaker 3: just don't want to miss it. I don't want to 365 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 3: miss it, and I just waved my hand. I got on. 366 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 3: So then I'm in. I got two decisions to make. 367 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 3: Do I just sit on the bus like an idiot 368 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,640 Speaker 3: and ride it all the way back to the airport, 369 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 3: or do I say, oh, man, there's my stop and 370 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,240 Speaker 3: get off and just walked a Lot B. 371 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 5: Wonder how close they are? They walkable? 372 00:18:58,880 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 3: In my head they were walkable. 373 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 5: Ray got it. 374 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:05,400 Speaker 3: So I got off the bus. Ray, it's about a mile. 375 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 3: What is happening from Lot Sea to Lot B with 376 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 3: a suitcase? With a suitcase eight o'clock at night and 377 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 3: there's no damn sidewalks, I'm trudging through bushes, I'm going 378 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:26,359 Speaker 3: through the grass. Finally, I put my suitcase in the 379 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 3: street and I'm rolling it as I walk on the 380 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 3: side in the grass so it can roll. And then 381 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 3: I got cars honking at me because I'm blocking traffic 382 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 3: with my suitcases. 383 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 4: I walk. 384 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 3: Then I get to a spot where I got to 385 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 3: run across four lanes of traffic to get over to 386 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 3: the go underneath the bridge exactly where you are, and 387 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:47,080 Speaker 3: then you got to go left down underneath the tunnel. 388 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 5: And not only that. 389 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 3: Once I get to Lot B, it's not like I 390 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 3: parked in the front of Lot B. I parked in 391 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:55,359 Speaker 3: the very back left ass corner. I mean, sweat is 392 00:19:55,480 --> 00:20:00,080 Speaker 3: just pouring down me as I am making my way, man, And. 393 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,679 Speaker 5: That is a moment you'll never forget for the rest, never. 394 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 3: Forget for the rest of my life. And I walk 395 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 3: and I finally get to the back and I get 396 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 3: in the car and I turn on that ac and 397 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 3: I'm like, the trip from Hell is over. The trip 398 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 3: from Hell is absolutely over. See. 399 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 5: Some people go to Vegas never make their way out. Man, 400 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,160 Speaker 5: You're one of the lucky ones. 401 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,400 Speaker 3: But the one positive at the airport. I did see, 402 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,440 Speaker 3: was this chick walk by me? 403 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:28,919 Speaker 8: Right? 404 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,360 Speaker 5: And she had her hangers out? 405 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,639 Speaker 3: No, she had some hangers and her shirt said blow 406 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 3: job queen. And I said, how much? Where were you 407 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 3: before I got married? Would you like to meet my friend? 408 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 3: Arnold's all I could think. I was like, Hey, who 409 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,640 Speaker 3: the hell where's that? Like, who advertises? That's unbelieva, it's 410 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 3: even allowed. 411 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 5: It's so vulgar. 412 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 3: I'm like, wow. And she's just walking around like it's normal, 413 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 3: Like she's smiling and and I'm gonna say this, she 414 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 3: wasn't ugly. 415 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 5: So I made a call to my wife. 416 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 3: I said, hey, you know, we had a bad weekend. 417 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 3: You know, do you think it would be okay if I. 418 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 10: Oh? 419 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,639 Speaker 9: Man, dude, that was great, even though it was a 420 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,440 Speaker 9: bad rollercoaster. For the most part it was at least 421 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 9: one high. 422 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 3: There was finally a little bit we climbed up a 423 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 3: little bit, but for the most part it was just 424 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 3: an absolute disaster. 425 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:25,679 Speaker 5: Disaster. 426 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy. It was that cold, that cold man. 427 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,639 Speaker 3: For me, Jenny and wife, nobody could win. It is 428 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 3: bad man, but he. 429 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,119 Speaker 5: Was his senses, like how did our big boss do he? 430 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 5: Who knows? Okay, who knows? How bones do? 431 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 3: Who knows? 432 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 9: I'm always curious that you know, Like, oh, that person 433 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,159 Speaker 9: ended up winning five K, what that's amazing? Oh h 434 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 9: Jenny and Sales, she killed it. She won ten thousand. 435 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 9: What do you hear about Sarah? Yeah, she won a corvette. 436 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 9: There's always some story. Yeah, or it's like every single 437 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 9: person lost. 438 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm no idea, man, I know my four, my 439 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:09,360 Speaker 3: four crew, we lost. There's a blood bath out there. 440 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 9: But I did like that you jumped around to different casinos. 441 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 9: You can't lose at the same casino for four straight days. No, Yeah, 442 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 9: I got to mix up the joju. 443 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,640 Speaker 3: I moved, I moved, I moved, I moved, I moved 444 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:20,680 Speaker 3: and didn't damn matter it. 445 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 5: You got to mix up the juju Smith Schuster. 446 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Hey, have a great Monday, guys, and 447 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 3: listen to what we need tonight. Just to give me 448 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 3: some kind I need the Bengals just to win the game. 449 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 3: Just win the game, please, I don't care. Just win 450 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,440 Speaker 3: the game. That's all I need. 451 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 5: Oh is that another bet you played? 452 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:38,520 Speaker 11: No? 453 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:42,160 Speaker 3: No, and just my eliminator, my eliminator. 454 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 5: Cary Lone. 455 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:09,719 Speaker 12: She's a queen and talking so she's getting not afraid 456 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,199 Speaker 12: to face episode, so just let it flow. No one 457 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 12: can do we quiet have a cary Lone. Its sounding carolud. 458 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 10: I know the basics now, like I I know, like 459 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 10: even on the voice, I did not know how to 460 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 10: do an interview at all. They had to be very 461 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,639 Speaker 10: very patient with me. I was like, I just I 462 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 10: don't know, Like eh, I was just like whatever, I 463 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 10: don't even know what to talk about. You're sixteen years old. No, 464 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 10: but yeah, once all of that passed, it was I 465 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 10: got better, I got in a routine. I was kind 466 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 10: of I was still very very much a teenager. Like 467 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,680 Speaker 10: I did radio tour and stuff a few times, and 468 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,640 Speaker 10: that that was that was hard because I they saw 469 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:59,200 Speaker 10: me as a teenager. I still very awkward and awkward looking. 470 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,720 Speaker 10: And by the last radio tour I had grown up 471 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 10: a lot. So to prove yourself to you know, radio 472 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,440 Speaker 10: and just people in the industry at such like vult 473 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 10: like just fragile years. So much is changing so much. 474 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 11: I mean, I don't know how you survived. Did you 475 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 11: have a mental breakdown ever? Oh yeah, oh yeah. 476 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 10: I but the really mental breakdowns were when I like 477 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 10: got older and started to live in relationships and do 478 00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 10: the music industry at the same time. I'm like, oh 479 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,400 Speaker 10: my god, I'm about to go crazy because these people 480 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 10: I'm dating are not great. 481 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 11: So did you have you had a did you have 482 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 11: like one particular toxic relationship, because there's a whole string, 483 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 11: like special place in hell for this person. I mean, uh, 484 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,679 Speaker 11: actually loved that song. I love that one that kind 485 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 11: of but I'm sure it was turned out to be bad. 486 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,440 Speaker 11: Is this all the same person it was? 487 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 10: It was there was a little moment there that was 488 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 10: a little interesting. 489 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 11: But is it all the same person that this is about? 490 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 11: Oh no, I mean there's so you were getting a 491 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:05,920 Speaker 11: string of bad guys. 492 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 10: Oh yeah, I did not know how to be. I 493 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,840 Speaker 10: learned a lot, learned a lot, and I won't, you know, 494 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 10: totally hate on him, but yeah, I mean I had 495 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 10: I saw this thing where they're like, you have three 496 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 10: loves in your life throughout your entire life or something, 497 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 10: and I'm like, that's kind of kind of accurate because 498 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 10: I had my high school like just super super naive. 499 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 10: I'm like, I wish him very well, but that was 500 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 10: not love at all. It was just I was very 501 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:38,240 Speaker 10: very young. But we lived together here like right off 502 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,200 Speaker 10: the voice, like we knew each other before and he 503 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,639 Speaker 10: knew me before that. And then after the voice, he 504 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 10: was like, it just was way too young, yeah to 505 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 10: go through any of that, Yeah, especially as a as 506 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 10: a younger boy. 507 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 9: Yeah. 508 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 11: Yeah, Like I'm sure it's turning it for you to 509 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,119 Speaker 11: handle it now. He's trying to like pop in to 510 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 11: the world with you. So that was a long long 511 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 11: time ago. 512 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 10: And then that ended, and then I was single, and 513 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:11,720 Speaker 10: then I got into a relationship that was very I 514 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:12,840 Speaker 10: thought I was going to marry the guy. 515 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,119 Speaker 11: I feel like, I remember when you got in this 516 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 11: relationship because I remember seeing it on Instagram and I 517 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,120 Speaker 11: was like, Okay, it feels like a big relationship. 518 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 10: Yeah, and then it turned out not to be. 519 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,879 Speaker 11: Tell us the red flags first, So for people listening, 520 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,119 Speaker 11: when you see these red flags, they're actually red flags. 521 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 10: I got a text from a random number and it 522 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,480 Speaker 10: was a girl and she was like, Hey, are you 523 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 10: and this person a thing? Because we were kind of 524 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,920 Speaker 10: talking and I just wanted to make sure and I'm like, hmm, 525 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,000 Speaker 10: we've been dating a week and this is already happening, 526 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,399 Speaker 10: and so I want to stay. He was very loving, 527 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,280 Speaker 10: very loving, and I was just he knew how to 528 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 10: do everything. He was like that type of guy. He 529 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 10: knew where he just like yeah, I'm like, oh my god, 530 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 10: this is this is so awesome. So I was very 531 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 10: blinded and the rest was history and I we did it. 532 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 10: Take away is fine. Did it take a while to 533 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,480 Speaker 10: get out of the relationship? Took a lot to get 534 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 10: out because towards the end of the last year of 535 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,800 Speaker 10: the relationship and we got to a point where his 536 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,159 Speaker 10: mom was like, send me pictures of your favorite rings, 537 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 10: like it was I was like, this is gonna be 538 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 10: my guy, even though we have little things to work through. 539 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:29,640 Speaker 10: And so the last year of it, it just completely 540 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 10: went downhill. And I'm such a caretaker. I'm just like, 541 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,639 Speaker 10: what do you need? And if you're in a bad place, 542 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 10: I'm like, I'm not going anywhere type of thing. 543 00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 11: Like you're like, I'm gonna come meet you in there 544 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,679 Speaker 11: and you'll go sacrifice yourself, yeah, to meet them, And. 545 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,359 Speaker 10: That's what that art. That was the case, and so 546 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:49,479 Speaker 10: I did not focus on anything about me at all, 547 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 10: And it was like, oh, while I'm doing this, he's 548 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 10: entertaining other women, and I'm like I So I ran 549 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,159 Speaker 10: myself dry I was like, I and then trying to 550 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 10: be this trying to sing, go out on stage, and 551 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 10: that's not an easy schedule. And so when I get 552 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,160 Speaker 10: stressed and I get anxiety, I don't have an appetite. 553 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 10: So then I lose weight very very quickly, and so 554 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 10: that gets misled online. So they're like, oh, I get 555 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,719 Speaker 10: shamed for that all the time. They're like, you're so skinny, 556 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,440 Speaker 10: and are you intorexic? And I mean people comment on 557 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 10: it all the time and controls all the time. Oh yeah, 558 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 10: oh yeah. And so that time I had lost so 559 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 10: much weight to the point where my mom was like 560 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,640 Speaker 10: freaking out and I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine. When 561 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 10: I was not fine, and towards the end of it, 562 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 10: he would like break up with me randomly, just randomly, 563 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 10: and I'm like, what did I what happen? What did 564 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 10: I do? You're questioning your whole worth. Then we'd get 565 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 10: back together because I was just so wrapped into it. 566 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:59,160 Speaker 10: This was the last time we got back together. I 567 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 10: had a girl. She was a college girl. They met 568 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,280 Speaker 10: out on the lake and she sent me a snapchat 569 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 10: of her laying on his couch and him in a 570 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:11,240 Speaker 10: towel closing the blinds. Yeah, yeah, Like I saw a 571 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 10: visual that was like the very very last of it. 572 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 10: It was just so bad, and it was like at 573 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 10: that point I was like, oh my gosh, like this 574 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 10: is insane. And then I remember I was out with 575 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,280 Speaker 10: Jordan Davis singing Midnight Crisis and we were out on 576 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,760 Speaker 10: the Lukecombs tour and that was like my job to 577 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 10: go out and sing Midnight Crisis with Jordan. It was 578 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 10: so fun, so fun. And that was like when we 579 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 10: were not together but still fighting all the time. It 580 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 10: was like we still were in contact. And I get 581 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 10: a fan. Actually, a couple DMed me and they were like, 582 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:53,360 Speaker 10: hey girl. So we were at Kava and I know 583 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,640 Speaker 10: this was your boyfriend, but I know this isn't you. 584 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,960 Speaker 10: And they were like wrapped around each other, just waiting 585 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 10: to get food. Got that after I got off stage, 586 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 10: and I got that DM. 587 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 11: And you're just living with your gut falling down all 588 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,360 Speaker 11: the time. You're just like swallowing. 589 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 10: My body is just being destroyed. So after you got 590 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 10: off stage, you got that text. I got that DM, 591 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 10: and my best friend Kyle was with me, and I 592 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 10: just handed I didn't even say anything. I just handed 593 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 10: it on the phone, and if you're like living your 594 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 10: dreams on stage, we were having so much fun. You're 595 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,760 Speaker 10: living keaven and hell at the same time, seriously, and 596 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 10: we are having so much fun. And that's just life. 597 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,480 Speaker 10: Does kill the devil does. He's like, Hey, you're having 598 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 10: a good time and you're trying to like live your life, 599 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,200 Speaker 10: but never mind me ruin it for you. 600 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 11: Yeah, And so so you were like actually in complete 601 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 11: turmoil while living some of the best moments of your life. 602 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 13: Hey, it's Mike d and this week a movie Mike's 603 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 13: Movie Podcast. I am celebrating Hispanic heritage a month and 604 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 13: sharing what I believe are the most essential movies when 605 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 13: it comes to representing Mexican American life. My parents came 606 00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 13: here from Mexico, and I shared why these movies represent 607 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,920 Speaker 13: the things that they went through. I talked about things 608 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,440 Speaker 13: that I never really talked about before and all because 609 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 13: of movies. So be sure to check it out in 610 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 13: its entirety. It would mean a lot to me. But 611 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,520 Speaker 13: right now, here's just a little bit of movie Mike's 612 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 13: Movie Podcast. The first one in this starter pack has 613 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 13: to be La Bamba, which is the biopick of Richie Vallens. 614 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 13: He was the first Mexican American superstar, and he sadly 615 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 13: passed the way just eight months after his big breakthrough, 616 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 13: so his entire career was less than a year. And 617 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,320 Speaker 13: as a kid, this movie was so impactful to me because, 618 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 13: like Richie Vallens, I wanted to be a rock star 619 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 13: and seeing somebody who has brown skin be in that 620 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,240 Speaker 13: role of rock star was so inspiring to me. That 621 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 13: is what I wanted to do. Before I was doing podcasting, 622 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,479 Speaker 13: before I was doing radio, I was playing in bands, 623 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 13: singing and playing guitar, and I'd always think back of 624 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,680 Speaker 13: this movie and think, oh, man, I want to look 625 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 13: cool like Richie Vallens. And I think now as an adult, 626 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,000 Speaker 13: it is inspiring to me to think about the time 627 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 13: that he did this in back when there were not 628 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 13: people at all who look like him, at the top 629 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 13: of the radio charts, playing on television, selling albums the 630 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 13: way he did. And one of the scenes and moments 631 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 13: in this movie that really resonated with me was Richie 632 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:23,200 Speaker 13: Valen's decision to change his name to be more appealing 633 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 13: to this American audience. Here's that moment from La Bamba. 634 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,000 Speaker 4: Your professional name from now on. 635 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 14: It's Richie with the T ri tchie. 636 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 11: I got a new last name for you, too, Valence 637 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 11: with an S Richie Vallens. 638 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 4: As I grab you, I don't like it, that's for sure, man. 639 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,320 Speaker 13: I mean Valenzuela was our dad's last name. 640 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 5: You can't just cut it in half. 641 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 14: It's no big deal. 642 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 13: People in this business they changed their names like they 643 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 13: change wives. 644 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 5: Even me. 645 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 12: My last name is Koon. 646 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 13: I kind of did this in school without thinking about 647 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,160 Speaker 13: it because Mike isn't my real name, and growing up 648 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 13: I was called my My family actually gave me the 649 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 13: nickname Mikey because of a movie, obviously, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 650 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 13: You have Mikey aka Michelangelo, and we were all huge 651 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 13: fans of that movie as a family, so everybody just 652 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,480 Speaker 13: called me Mikey growing up. Eventually, I thought, I don't 653 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 13: want to be called Mike anymore. I don't want to 654 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 13: be an adult in college of people called me Mikey. 655 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 13: So I dropped a y and went by Mike. And 656 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 13: then I developed a stage name because I was working 657 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,880 Speaker 13: in radio and there are so many mics. My last 658 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 13: name for being a Mexican is pretty common if you 659 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 13: search it you get so many results. And also, my 660 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 13: decision to change my name to give me kind of 661 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,280 Speaker 13: an alter ego was something I did just because I 662 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,720 Speaker 13: felt my name was common. But I also feel like 663 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 13: if you see the name Mike on paper, you don't 664 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,800 Speaker 13: know what you're getting. And I don't know if that 665 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,640 Speaker 13: has had some impact on some of the opportunities I've 666 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,360 Speaker 13: been given over the years, because you hear the name 667 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,479 Speaker 13: Mike d stre and you don't really know what I am. 668 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 13: Some people assume I'm Ittallion. But I just created the 669 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 13: name because I felt it was unique and because I 670 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 13: felt that I could get that name on every single 671 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 13: social media platform, which I have to this day Mike 672 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 13: Cadistro on all socials. So the history of me changing 673 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,239 Speaker 13: my name all goes back to La Bamba. That is 674 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,680 Speaker 13: why I consider this movie to be an essential for 675 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 13: Mexican Americans. We'll get out of the eighties now, and 676 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,360 Speaker 13: next up on the list, I have from nineteen ninety 677 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 13: seven Selena, which is the story of the life and 678 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:37,279 Speaker 13: tragic death of Selena Quinta niep Edies. She was a 679 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,320 Speaker 13: Mexican American singer who rose to fame in the early 680 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,719 Speaker 13: nineteen nineties. And obviously the movie serves as a biopic. 681 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 13: What I feel that this movie does a great job 682 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:52,720 Speaker 13: of is showing what it's like to be a Mexican 683 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:57,279 Speaker 13: American artist in a predominantly white industry and how you 684 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:01,400 Speaker 13: struggle to maintain your heritage while also trying to achieve 685 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:06,400 Speaker 13: mainstream success, in Selina's case, specifically being a Mexican American 686 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:10,000 Speaker 13: who doesn't primarily speak Spanish. And there's a scene where 687 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:14,040 Speaker 13: her dad, he is describing that struggle of having to 688 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 13: live in both of these worlds and be twice as perfect. 689 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 3: Being Mexican American is tough. 690 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:24,040 Speaker 14: Anglos jump all over you if you don't speak English perfectly. 691 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,960 Speaker 14: Mexicans jump all over you if you don't speak Spanish perfectly. 692 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 3: We've got to be twice as perfect as anybody else. 693 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,879 Speaker 14: I mean, we gotta know about John Wayne and Phil 694 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:37,239 Speaker 14: in Funding, we gotta know about Frank Sinatra and Augustine Lada, 695 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 14: we gotta know about Oprah and Christina. And we got 696 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,000 Speaker 14: to prove to the Mexicans how Mexican we are, and 697 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 14: we got to prove to the Americans how American we are. 698 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:45,919 Speaker 3: We gotta be more. 699 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,799 Speaker 14: Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than Americans both 700 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 14: at the same time. 701 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:50,759 Speaker 3: It's exhausting. 702 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,960 Speaker 13: I would quote that line all the time. 703 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,719 Speaker 3: It's exhausting, which it is. 704 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 13: And I've experienced this a lot, not just on a 705 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:01,399 Speaker 13: professional level, but just on a per level. Of those 706 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,120 Speaker 13: times when I would go to Mexico to visit my 707 00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 13: family there and they look at you differently because they know, oh, 708 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 13: your parents may be from here, but you are an American, 709 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 13: and they are over criticizing your Spanish. They make you 710 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:20,800 Speaker 13: feel that you're kind of a sellout for speaking English, 711 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,959 Speaker 13: dressing the way that you do, thinking that you're better 712 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 13: than them because you're wearing American brands. They'll call you names, 713 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 13: they'll make fun of you if you don't know all 714 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,920 Speaker 13: the slang. You better not be caught dead speaking English 715 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:37,279 Speaker 13: in Mexico because they will grill you. And then you 716 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 13: come back to the United States and you have to 717 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 13: speak perfect English. And let me tell you, if you 718 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:47,360 Speaker 13: grew up speaking Spanish or any other language that is 719 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:51,040 Speaker 13: not English, it is a very difficult language to learn. 720 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,160 Speaker 13: The English language makes no sense. And I was lucky 721 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,000 Speaker 13: that my older brother and older sister had already learned English. 722 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,759 Speaker 13: Even though they came here and they learned Spanish first, 723 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 13: and they learned English by watching TV a lot, watching movies. 724 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,719 Speaker 13: Even my mom watching Sesame Street with me as a kid, 725 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 13: she would learn English from that, and obviously in her 726 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,960 Speaker 13: job now has had to learn English. My dad knows English, 727 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 13: even though they still prefer to speak Spanish. They knew 728 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,279 Speaker 13: that living in the United States, it was going to 729 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,440 Speaker 13: be difficult for them if they did not learn it. 730 00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:26,120 Speaker 13: But there is this pressure from both sides that you 731 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,000 Speaker 13: have to be the best of both worlds because if not, 732 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,520 Speaker 13: you're seen as being a sellout. You're seeing as being 733 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,360 Speaker 13: an outcast. And for me, that is really the message 734 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 13: that this movie drove home. Also obviously showcasing the music 735 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:42,120 Speaker 13: of Selena and how impactful her career was, how quickly 736 00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 13: she rose to fame, and how sad her story is, 737 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 13: which sadly all the stories about Mexican and American musicians 738 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:52,120 Speaker 13: don't end will spoiler alert, but Selena is a classic. 739 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,880 Speaker 13: That's why I included it as the third movie on 740 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:56,040 Speaker 13: my Essentials list. 741 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,520 Speaker 5: Hey, thanks for listening to this week Sunday Sampler. 742 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:10,160 Speaker 1: New episodes are out weekly, so there's always something to 743 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,480 Speaker 1: listen to. If you have something you heard here, please 744 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,160 Speaker 1: go and follow and subscribe. That would help us a bunch. 745 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,200 Speaker 1: Thank you and have a great week everybody.