1 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson, 2 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: your host, narrator, and author. We hear at the ten 3 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: Minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or 4 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human 6 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: condition as ten minutes will permit mini novels on steroids. 7 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: This week we meet Jerry. Jerry's been arrested. Jerry's in 8 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: jail for something he insists he didn't do. But humans 9 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: are not designed to readily admit their bad choices and 10 00:00:55,920 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: their screwups. It's a bit of a design flaw. Jerry's 11 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: brain conjured up some thoughts that likely had very little 12 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: to do with reality. And now, well now, a pretty happy, 13 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: go lucky guy is dead involuntary manslaughter. Jerry sits in 14 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: his cell and assures himself he didn't do it, at 15 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: least not on purpose. Christ No, not on purpose. It 16 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 1: was an accident, just an accident. It all started a 17 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: few nights ago at the company Christmas party, when Conrad, 18 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: the big polelock on the dock building crew, made a 19 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: pass at Jerry's wife. Well maybe not a full blown pass, 20 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: but the big Polelock was definitely flirting with her, brought 21 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: her a drink, asked her to dance, and in the 22 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: car on the way home, Jerry and his wife had 23 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: white a verbal brawl. What the fuck was up with 24 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 1: you in Kaminsky? Huh? What was that? What was that 25 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:12,119 Speaker 1: all about? Jerry's wife, Paulina had consumed quite a few 26 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,519 Speaker 1: shots of Watka and was feeling a touch tipsy. Oh 27 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: that Conrad. He's such a big teddy bear. Yeah, maybe 28 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 1: you should have gone home with Conrad tonight. What you 29 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: heard me? I'll pretend I didn't, Jerry. I saw you 30 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: laughing and dancing with him, cheek to cheek. Oh my god, 31 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: you did not bullshit. I didn't bullshit you did. Jerry 32 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: quickly made the decision not to pursue his line of attack. 33 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: Arguing with Paulina was like fighting with a grizzly bear. 34 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 1: But just because he chose not to pursue the battle 35 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: didn't mean he didn't stew over it the whole rest 36 00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: of the weekend. He couldn't get the picture of that 37 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: big hairy Polock bedding his sweet Polina out of his head, 38 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 1: and by Monday morning, he had convinced himself that the 39 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: two had been carrying on an affair four months, maybe 40 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: even years. His paranoia took him so far down the 41 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: road to perdition that he was just about one hundred 42 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: percent certain his six year old son, Teddy, looked like 43 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 1: a fucking polllock. Now what chemicals we ask had gone 44 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: astray in Jerry's brain? That's hard to say. The human 45 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: brain is one of the most complex organisms in the universe. 46 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: It thinks up stuff like Hamlet and the Blue Danube, 47 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: and the atom bomb and the extermination of the Jews 48 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: using xylon b. It causes fingers to pull triggers and 49 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: mouths to other words like I you. It does math 50 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: and creates poetry, religion, and molecular engineering. The human brain 51 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:14,840 Speaker 1: burns perceived enemies at the stake and well it often 52 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: goes haywire think schizophrenia, depression, anorexia, bolimia, bipolar disorder, anxiety, narcissism. 53 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: So you see, Jerry conjuring up a little affair between 54 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 1: his wife and Conrad Kaminski was just kind of par 55 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: for the human course. Nothing particularly outlandish or unusual about it, 56 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: especially considering the fact that Jerry had for months been 57 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 1: fantasizing about fucking the young chuckout girl at the local 58 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 1: Pigley Wiggley. If he could stray, so went the reasoning, 59 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 1: then there it was a very good chance Pauline could stray. Also. 60 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: They had been married, after all, for almost sixteen years, 61 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: and as of late their sex life was just about extinct. 62 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: And so when Monday morning rolled around, Jerry still had 63 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: a massive heart on for Conrad. The big Polock, a 64 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: happy go lucky sort of fellow, walked into the shanty 65 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: a few minutes before starting time, and with a wide 66 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: smile on his wide face, he greeted his fellow doc builders, 67 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: laborers and operating engineers with friendly hellos and slaps on 68 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: the back. There's some party the other night. Hey, boys, 69 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 1: I really tied one on, still a little. I'm still 70 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 1: a little fuzzy headed and hungover, if you want the truth. 71 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 1: Several of the others nodded in agreement. Jerry didn't take 72 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,839 Speaker 1: his eyes off his newspaper, not that he was actually 73 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: reading anything. He was just sitting in the corner of 74 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 1: the shanty, stewing, Still stewing, what about you, Jerre, Conrad 75 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: shouted over the din of male voices. You have a 76 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: good time the other night to party. Fuck you, Jerry 77 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,920 Speaker 1: wanted to say, but instead he just gave the big 78 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: polelock the cold shoulder. Not that Conrad noticed. He had 79 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: years ago learned to embrace his joyous disposition, in part 80 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,799 Speaker 1: by not giving a shit about what other people thought 81 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:40,119 Speaker 1: or said, especially people in a bad or sour mood. 82 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: The men slowly gather themselves and exit the shanty. Time 83 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: to get to work. The laborers move along the perimeter 84 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 1: of the dock to finish the two catch basins they 85 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: started last week. The dock builders climbed down onto the 86 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: floats stage and begins sorting out the tools they'll need 87 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:11,239 Speaker 1: for the day's work. Chainsaws and peevies, pneumatic drills and sledgehammers. Jerry, 88 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: the operating engineer, the man with his hands on the 89 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: controls of the enormous the Cyrus Eerie crane, stops and 90 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: has a brief chat with the oiler. All good, Dan, 91 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: I think so, Jerr. All systems look good. Everything go, 92 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: The two men have to shout over the roar of 93 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: the Besiris Eerie's massive diesel engine, just beginning to warm 94 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: up for the day's work. You find that cause of 95 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: that thumping noise I heard last week. Dan nods. I 96 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 1: greased all the fittings and installed a new main drive belt. 97 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: Sounds silky smooth now, Ja Jerry nods and climbs up 98 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: into the cab of the forty ton crane. He goes 99 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: through his safety checks in much the same way a 100 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: pilot prepares for takeoff. Foot pedals, good resistance, levers and 101 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: clutches operating smoothly, same with the swing arm, and the 102 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: engine sounds strong, no hiccups. Almost twenty years Jerry's been 103 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: up in the cab. He might not be the slickest 104 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: operator along the waterfront, but he's well known to be 105 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 1: super safety conscious and always he takes his time. Sure, 106 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: sometimes a little too much time, but ask the old 107 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 1: timers on the dock building crew and they'll take a 108 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 1: cautious operator over a hot dog. Every day of the week, 109 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: the crew drives half a dozen piles for the new 110 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: fender system. The piles go down easy at first and 111 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: then begin to fetch up nice. It's an experienced dock 112 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:06,319 Speaker 1: building crew, all Swedes except for Conrad. They work steadily 113 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: and efficiently, no unnecessary moves, safety above all else. Dock 114 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: building they all know and remind themselves several times daily 115 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 1: is one of the most dangerous occupations. A man can 116 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: do no end of ways to get hurt or worse. 117 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,199 Speaker 1: Late in the morning, they start to install the bracing 118 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 1: timbers between the piles. These are enormous timbers, thirty six 119 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 1: inches by thirty six inches and eight feet long. They 120 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: weigh in excess of four hundred pounds apiece. The chainsaw 121 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 1: team trims the timber to size and wraps the sling 122 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,319 Speaker 1: around it so they can hook up to the dropline 123 00:09:55,440 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: of the crane. Jerry swings the boom over the timber 124 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 1: and slowly lowers the line until the sling can be attached. 125 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: Once the men clear, Jerry pulls back on the lever 126 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 1: and lifts the heavy timber several feet above the float stage. 127 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: He swings slowly left, always a dangerous swing, as the 128 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 1: boom partially blocks his field of vision through both the 129 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: front and the side windshields. At least this is what 130 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 1: Jerry will tell the authorities. His field of vision was 131 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: briefly and slightly obstructed, but either way obstructed or not. 132 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:47,320 Speaker 1: Suddenly the men are shouting, screaming, cursing, but too late, 133 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,559 Speaker 1: the timber strikes Conrad on the side of the head 134 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 1: a terrific blow. It knocks the big polelock clean off 135 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 1: his feet and down. He goes onto the wet, oily 136 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: creosoded floor of the float stage, bleeding profusely, head crushed 137 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: and life fading, another victim of the two big for 138 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:24,720 Speaker 1: its own good human brain. Thanks for listening to this 139 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 1: original audio presentation of Involuntary Manslaughter narrated by the author. 140 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 1: If you enjoyed today's story, please take a few seconds 141 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, and then 142 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:45,239 Speaker 1: go to Thomas William Simpson dot com for additional information 143 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: about the author and to view his extensive canon. The 144 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: Ten Minute Storyteller is produced by Andrew Bigleasi and Josh 145 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: Klani and is part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network 146 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: in partnership with iHeart Productions. Until next time, this is 147 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: Bill Simpson, your ten minute Storytelling.