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Speaker 1: M hm, and we're back. I am Robert Evans, and

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Speaker 1: this is again Behind the Bastards, the show where we

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Speaker 1: tell you everything you don't know about the very worst

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Speaker 1: people in all of history. And this is of course

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Speaker 1: part two of our epic two part series on Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal is so much worse than you would guess. You

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Speaker 1: probably just thought he was a movie star who got

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Speaker 1: rich and retired and and that was the end of

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Speaker 1: this story. But as we have learned, not only did

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Speaker 1: his career start thanks to the mafia, he has a

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Speaker 1: alleged serial sexual assaulter. And today we're about to get

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Speaker 1: into his time as a lawman, his hobby as a

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Speaker 1: best friend to dictators uh, and the human trafficking allegations

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Speaker 1: against him. Yeah, Steven Seagal, I'd like to open up

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Speaker 1: this episode with another excerpt from the bio on Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal's personal website, Sean John Riley. I did not introduce

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Speaker 1: you in this episode, which you if you didn't listen

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Speaker 1: to part one, you're terrible. Yeah, you blew it. You're

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Speaker 1: the bastard al rite jokes on the internet. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: we're drinking and I'm going to open another beer, right

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Speaker 1: now now we're talking. Now we're talking, and now we're drinking. Ah,

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Speaker 1: and now we're Steven Seagal ing. I'm ready now. First, actually,

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Speaker 1: I want to I want to get through an important

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Speaker 1: issue with you. If some sort of teleportation accident were

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Speaker 1: to create multiple Steven Seagal, they would be Steven's Cigal. Right,

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Speaker 1: it's like a like a like an attorney's general sort

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Speaker 1: of situation. But you know, I think I would probably

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Speaker 1: say Steven Seagal's like just as an impulse. But when

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Speaker 1: you say Steven Seagal, I like that a lot more,

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Speaker 1: and I would absolutely train myself into thing is Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal if that ever happens. Listeners, back us up on this.

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Speaker 1: If there is like a Steven's Seagal infestations likely to happen,

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Speaker 1: it probably already has happened. If you listen to one

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Speaker 1: of the Steven's who is uh inhabiting our world here.

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Speaker 1: In fact, it looks like several Steven's Seagal have merged

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Speaker 1: into one giant Steven Seagal. Like if you've seen him

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Speaker 1: in the last ten years or so, he looks like

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Speaker 1: three Stephen Seagal's wearing a trench coat. Trying to be

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Speaker 1: one Stephen Seagal, because it's not like he's putting on weight,

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Speaker 1: like it's like he's growing in every direction. There's there's

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Speaker 1: nothing shameful about being a sixty eight year old man

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Speaker 1: and putting on some weight. Of course everyone everyone, I'm

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Speaker 1: saying he's wearing it. He's wearing it as if it's

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Speaker 1: other people attached to his body. He's like ate the

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Speaker 1: fucking Willy Wonka gum or something he's rowing. But he's

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Speaker 1: also his hair is getting more Dracula every day. He Actually,

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Speaker 1: that's how you would cast he could be a good Dracula.

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Speaker 1: He could be a really believable heavy set Dracula exactly.

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Speaker 1: He would travel by like turning sideways, rolling after you.

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Speaker 1: The more c g I they can throw in there,

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Speaker 1: the better, really, So I'd like to open he Turned

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Speaker 1: Sideways with he's like picking up like, k I bet

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Speaker 1: he wears all black now because it covers the sweat spite. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we know what's going on. So I'd like to open

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Speaker 1: this episode with another exerpt from the bio on Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal's personal website. At the core of what drives Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal with all he does, his music, his martial arts,

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Speaker 1: and his acting is his commitment to Asian philosophies and religion,

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Speaker 1: and Asian is capitalized. Yeah, that's that's that's something else.

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Speaker 1: As a Buddhist, then teacher, and healer, Stephen lives by

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Speaker 1: the principles that the development of the physical self is

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Speaker 1: essential to protect the spiritual man. He believes that what

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Speaker 1: he does in his life is about leading people into

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Speaker 1: contemplation to wake them up and enlighten them in some manner.

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Speaker 1: If you can find one goddamn person that exists in

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Speaker 1: the world who's like I never thought of myself as

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Speaker 1: a deep philosopher until I met Steven Seagal. Oh boy,

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Speaker 1: I am excited for this next part. I didn't even

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Speaker 1: tea is this he's he's a Buddhist lama. He's no, officially,

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Speaker 1: not just as he a Buddhist lama. He is the

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Speaker 1: reincarnation of a seventeenth century Buddhist mystic. Officially, Oh you knew, okay,

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Speaker 1: you would, Yeah, okay, okay, so you've you've you've got

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Speaker 1: that kind of vision. Then you have the same kind

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Speaker 1: of vision as a Buddhist leader. Paneur Rinpoche, who is

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Speaker 1: the actual Tibetan Buddhist leader who declared Steven Seagal a

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Speaker 1: reincarnation of a seventeenth century Buddhist mystic. Here's Steven Seagal

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Speaker 1: has been recognized as a reincarnation of the seventeenth century

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Speaker 1: hidden treasure revealer Shundra Dorhy of Paulau Monastery shun drag Door.

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Speaker 1: He founded a small monastery called Gigonnpa near his native

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Speaker 1: village in Finney in the Kutzi area of DERs On,

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Speaker 1: eastern Tibet. Though there are no monks there now, the

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Speaker 1: small monastery building still exists and is well known in

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Speaker 1: the area for its beautiful religious wall paintings. So that's nice.

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Speaker 1: They're not known for their their public school system. This

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Speaker 1: sounds like he's kind of a deep shit. Well he

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Speaker 1: made Steven Seagal, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I may

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Speaker 1: not be reading it well, um, but yeah, as you

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Speaker 1: might guess. Other Hollywood Buddhists who have not been accused

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Speaker 1: of numerous sexual assaults took issue with the announcement that

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Speaker 1: Steven Seagal was officially a Buddhist lama. He's literally like

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Speaker 1: a step below the Dalai Lama. Like that's that's real.

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Speaker 1: That's as far as yeah, it's official. Richard Gear and

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Speaker 1: Tina Turner, both devout Tibetan Buddhists, should, in theory, venerate

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Speaker 1: Steven Seagal for being just a step down from the

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Speaker 1: Dalai Lama himself, but instead they accused him of having

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Speaker 1: bribed Pennora and Poche and other Buddhist Lamas into granting

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Speaker 1: him the title. Gandon Thurman, director of special projects for

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Speaker 1: the Tibett House in New York, noted that quote. I'm

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Speaker 1: afraid it troubles me. I always wondered if the action

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Speaker 1: heroes he played, he always seems to be the only

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Speaker 1: one who tortures his enemies, which is I was saying

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Speaker 1: this in the last episode, he just tears apart all

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Speaker 1: of his enemy. Yeah, so there's some good questions as

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Speaker 1: to why this guy would be a reincarnation of enlightened

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Speaker 1: buddhististic pen or. Rim Poche denies being bribed by siagal Uh.

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Speaker 1: He states that neither I nor any of my monasteries

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Speaker 1: have received or sought any sort of substantial donation from him.

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Speaker 1: I think substantial is the keywords. I seems like some

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Speaker 1: bribery happened, so doesn't this guy like talk to God

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Speaker 1: and stuff like wouldn't God be like, hey, don't make

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Speaker 1: that guy that. I don't know how Like really, I

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Speaker 1: don't know how Buddhism works. I don't think they talked

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Speaker 1: to God, um, because that's like a Buddhist thing, right. Well, no,

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Speaker 1: because there's different types of Buddhism, because there are some

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Speaker 1: Buddhism some Buddhist sex that like venerate Buddha as sort

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Speaker 1: of a deity. Um. But I think in general, like

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Speaker 1: you're like a dumbass and you're like in charge of

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Speaker 1: somehow naming who is the reincarnated? Yeah, because Steven Seagal

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Speaker 1: gave you sevents like it is there like no like

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Speaker 1: checks and balances and that like religion for someone to

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Speaker 1: say like, hey, guys, I think I found the reincarnated.

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Speaker 1: I think it's this sexual assaulter who lies about everything

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Speaker 1: and there's no one to say like, you know, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you're right. I don't think he's the

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Speaker 1: reincarnation of that seventeenth century month. I don't buy it,

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Speaker 1: like that tree might be the guy. I mean, how

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Speaker 1: do you check? And you do you have like a

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Speaker 1: spectrometer you can like attach to because I know scientologists

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Speaker 1: have like little yeah yeah, and so they can like

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Speaker 1: measure how many times you're being reincarnated. Well, there was

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Speaker 1: like the ceremony where he had to recognize some possessions

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Speaker 1: that had been owned by himself. But that's the kind

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Speaker 1: of thing you can set up. Um that you can't

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Speaker 1: fake that ship. You can't fake that ship. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: my my my personal feeling here is that, Um, maybe

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Speaker 1: Chung during Dory, the seventeenth century Buddhist monk, who Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal is the reincarnated form of maybe Chung During was

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Speaker 1: a serial sexual asser. Of course, entirely possible. If he is,

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Speaker 1: that would be like I'd support this claim that Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal is reincarnated. Yeah if if the doll a Lama

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Speaker 1: comes out and says, no, he was a monster and

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Speaker 1: this man is the reincarnation and he must be stopped.

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Speaker 1: Now we're talking. Now we're talking about I would watch

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Speaker 1: in the Modern Age under Buddha. I think six out

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Speaker 1: of ten so far, I think we can top it.

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Speaker 1: But it's a good title. Okay, it's a good title.

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Speaker 1: We'll see what else we can. Yeah, the definition of

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Speaker 1: substantial can Bury a lot, so I wouldn't be surprised

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Speaker 1: if Steven Seagal bribes and Buddhists um now despite being

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Speaker 1: ordained as a holy man. In the late nineteen nineties

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Speaker 1: proved to be the winding down period for Seagal's career.

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Speaker 1: As we previously stated, under Siege was his most successful film.

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Speaker 1: In nine four, he filmed on Deadly Ground, an action

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Speaker 1: movie with an environmental message about oil companies in Alaska,

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Speaker 1: featuring offensively inaccurate depictions of Native American women doing actual

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Speaker 1: spiritual dances, but doing them naked, which is not how

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Speaker 1: the dances were performed. Steven Seagale, everybody that was Steven Seagal.

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Speaker 1: I bet, yeah, But like I think it would be

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Speaker 1: more lightning if they took the test. Make sure they're

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Speaker 1: real and very serious religious religious rituals, but make them

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Speaker 1: do it naked. Perfect. That's that encapsulates my interests very well,

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Speaker 1: both cultural appropriation and gratuitous nudity. I'm Steven Seagale approved

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Speaker 1: this film, and he did. Oh boy, Stephen Stephen Stephen

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Speaker 1: Stephen so um. In Identity five, Segal filmed a sequel

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Speaker 1: to under Siege. He was in Kurt Russell's executive decision

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Speaker 1: for about a hot minute and then very quickly got

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Speaker 1: sucked out of a plane. Right. I love this story. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's a rumor that he was in the movie theater

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Speaker 1: when this happened and he gets sucked out of the plane,

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Speaker 1: like basically the moment it's about Steven Seagelle time and

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Speaker 1: he just sucking dies like and the crowd cheered, like.

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Speaker 1: The crowd thought this was really funny and they loved

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Speaker 1: that Steven Seagald died before he got to do anything.

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Speaker 1: And Steven Seagal, in a fit, like got up and

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Speaker 1: like stormed out of the theater and his manager was like, no, dude,

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Speaker 1: doo doo, dude, they're cheering because they love you. They're

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Speaker 1: cheering because and they had he had to talk him

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Speaker 1: down like you would a toddler. Yeah, he's like, no, no,

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Speaker 1: they're not cheering because you're dead. The cheering because they

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Speaker 1: you're the best, and they that you died a hero

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Speaker 1: and like and then they calmed him down and got

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Speaker 1: him to go back. I have no idea how accurate

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Speaker 1: this was, but the rumor that I heard, that's cannon

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Speaker 1: for this show for sure. Yeah, we're we're calling really

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Speaker 1: like as true as any fucking thanks Steven Seagal has

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Speaker 1: ever said. Probably truer other than the thing about the

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Speaker 1: chical exhibit, because that I can't imagine someone lying about that.

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Speaker 1: That's probably yeah. Yeah, And he's probably that seventeenth century

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Speaker 1: like rapist, yes, Sam, seventeenth century rapist, dry boy, that particular.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't make it onto that poor dude's wikipedia, No,

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Speaker 1: because he's been dead for centuries. He doesn't need this.

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Speaker 1: This is how it is. One accusation ruins your life,

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Speaker 1: even after you did. That's doing bad, Donald Trump. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I thought you were doing a Steven Seagal that they

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Speaker 1: have a lot of similarities. There, not as many differences

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Speaker 1: as you'd expect. Yeah, not as many as you'd expect. Um.

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Speaker 1: Not the best impersonator for this one, which is the

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Speaker 1: spot on the Trump That was your cosby, It was

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Speaker 1: my car. Oh boy. The world is just full of

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Speaker 1: rich and powerful sex offenders, um, speaking of one of them,

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Speaker 1: Steven Seagal. Uh. In the late nine nineties and early

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Speaker 1: two thousand's, obviously, Segal slid into obscurity. He transitioned from

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Speaker 1: big Hollywood star to direct the video Star. He also

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Speaker 1: put on more and more weight, which isn't at all

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Speaker 1: odd for a man in his late forties, but did

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Speaker 1: kind of get in the way with a successful action

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Speaker 1: movie career. It's worth noting that Steven Seagal currently look

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Speaker 1: at a picture of him, is the same age more

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Speaker 1: or less as Liam Neeson, who was a believable action

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Speaker 1: movie star. Yeah, so again, he didn't make the right

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Speaker 1: decisions in order to stay relevant. Um although that was

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Speaker 1: probably always a kind of a long shot mafia finance

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Speaker 1: start um so and can make seven or eight different

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Speaker 1: kinds of Liam Neeson can act as both Oscar Schindler

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Speaker 1: and as a guy who punches people in the throat

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Speaker 1: and the guy from Krol and the guy from Kroll.

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Speaker 1: What Steven Seagal and Crawl? You ruined Krawl? You would

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Speaker 1: have ruined Krow, a film that could not have been

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Speaker 1: more of it as Ascar if it had had its

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Speaker 1: opening night on September eleven in the World Trade Center.

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Speaker 1: I was not disagreeing with that statement. Okay. The upshot

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Speaker 1: of segal slide into obscurity is that it gave him

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Speaker 1: a chance to focus more on his spiritual life, delivering

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Speaker 1: lectures on Buddhism to classes of the faithful, hungry for

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Speaker 1: the wisdom of an ancient lama and luckily for us

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Speaker 1: and attindee of one of these class has wrote about it.

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Speaker 1: In the October nineteen issue of g Q, they published

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Speaker 1: an article by David Rakoff titled Stephen Seagal, I can't

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Speaker 1: believe it's not Buddha, Jesus Steven Seagal. I can't believe

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Speaker 1: he tried to put his finger in my butt. H

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Speaker 1: this was a yoga class, though, well, it was. It was.

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Speaker 1: It was. It was a Buddhism class. Sorry, I can't

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Speaker 1: believe it's not Buddha. It was. Let's do a fucking

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Speaker 1: episode of that asshole. It was. It was an easier

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Speaker 1: time for comedy. Jerry Seinfeld was the biggest name in

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Speaker 1: the world. I think Jerry sanfel lots of great jokes. Seinfeld,

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Speaker 1: if you brought him this and said I got this

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Speaker 1: great idea for a joke, I can't believe it's not Buddha,

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Speaker 1: he'd say, you're out of my office. You have the

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Speaker 1: funk out. You're really We're getting a lot of Mila

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Speaker 1: jet your impressions tonight. Um. So yeah. David Rakoff attended

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Speaker 1: a series of lectures a Memorial weekend day weekend retreat

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Speaker 1: by the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies. The Omega Institute

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Speaker 1: regularly held seminars with luminaries such as Deepak Chopra, but

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Speaker 1: the weekend that Rakoff attended, they scored a real get.

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Speaker 1: Stephen Segal. Yeah, he was teaching a class on quote

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Speaker 1: cultivating compassion and clarity. Yeah, this is the guy you

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Speaker 1: go to you want to cultivate some you want to

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Speaker 1: cultivate some compassion, You go to the guy who's famous

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Speaker 1: in his movies for torturing people and has numerous sexual

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Speaker 1: assault allegations against breaking and grabbing titties, much like the Buddha,

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Speaker 1: much like Buddha before me, the one living inside me,

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Speaker 1: and the four eight uh so before Segal arrived, students

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Speaker 1: were advised to arrest to address him as Rinpoche, which

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Speaker 1: means literally precious jewel, So rac frights precious jewel. Eventually

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Speaker 1: does arrive some forty five minutes late. That turns out

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Speaker 1: to be Sigal standard time. He is a large man

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Speaker 1: now with a bit of a late model Brando girth

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Speaker 1: about him. His narrow eyes, sleek ponytail, and variation on

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Speaker 1: traditional Tibetan attire, an opporigine skirt, and a saffron yellow

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Speaker 1: satin jacket lent him the air of a mongol potent taste.

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Speaker 1: Article title and then like a fucking four paragraph description

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Speaker 1: of his dress. Oh, it was a beautiful description. It

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Speaker 1: was a beautiful description. He shambles in, slowly, displaying a

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Speaker 1: kind of bewilderment, as if this temporal world were too

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Speaker 1: jarring and suffused with craving in pain for him to absorb.

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Speaker 1: Just yet, these guys, it's a really good way to

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Speaker 1: describe the way Steven Seagal moves. So it quickly became

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Speaker 1: obvious to the author that the students at the seminar

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Speaker 1: were a mix of serious Buddhists and people who just

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Speaker 1: wanted to hang out with a famous guy. All weekend

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Speaker 1: questions quickly turned to Segal's career. He explains to us

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Speaker 1: that his absence from the screen is but an inevitable

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Speaker 1: consequence of his emergence as a holy man. The studios

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Speaker 1: know exactly what they want fighting. As I became a lama,

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Speaker 1: I had to establish a line I could not cross,

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Speaker 1: and I've taken two years off as a result. Um,

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Speaker 1: so that's there's not a single Stephen Segal movie where

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Speaker 1: he doesn't beat the ship really meanly too. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's it's gross. Uh Now. Rakoff does note that

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Speaker 1: Segal didn't come across as a dumb guy. He was

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Speaker 1: charming and reasonably good at answering pretty basic questions about Buddhism.

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Speaker 1: His main flaw seemed to be that he was incapable

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Speaker 1: of showing up on time. Uh. Quote, the school day

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Speaker 1: consists of a morning session from nine at noon in

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Speaker 1: an afternoon session from two thirty to five thirty, but

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Speaker 1: Segal tends to arrive at least an hour into each

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Speaker 1: and he stays for only an hour. Yeah. Seagal's explanation

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Speaker 1: was that, basically that he was people can only absorb

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Speaker 1: so much wisdom in a day. That makes sense, That

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Speaker 1: makes sense. He was, he was overly. He didn't want

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Speaker 1: to overload them on his wisdom. Uh. I think it's

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Speaker 1: probably because all you can eat place you know, they

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Speaker 1: don't make you leave. Do you been here for seven hours?

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Speaker 1: Hopefully you would have had all the crab brand goons

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Speaker 1: I can eat. But you have no idea how many

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Speaker 1: crab brands. You don't know what you signed on for so.

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Speaker 1: Rack Off notes that Seagal's chief, a keto disciple, was

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Speaker 1: brought in to lead stretches for the group. They were

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Speaker 1: originally supposed to be just like fifteen minute breaks in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the day, but regularly expanded to forty

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Speaker 1: five minutes or longer in order to distract from the

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Speaker 1: fact stretches you gotta be limber when you karate, chop

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Speaker 1: your hands around for a little bit. So he had

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Speaker 1: his guy coming and do stretches while he blew off

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Speaker 1: two thirds of the classes he had signed up to teach,

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Speaker 1: like a real Buddhist mistake. Yeah uh. Now Segal took

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Speaker 1: the opportunity afforded by his creator and career to indulge

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Speaker 1: in other passions too, including his passion for being the

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Speaker 1: creepiest possible version of himself. In two thousand and four,

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Speaker 1: he attended the funeral of musical legend Ray Earls. At

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Speaker 1: the funeral, he met Charles's granddaughter, Blair Robinson. He decided

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Speaker 1: that the death of her grandfather was the perfect place

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Speaker 1: to hit on her be allies. He invited her to

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Speaker 1: his home to interview for a job as his personal assistant.

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Speaker 1: Now Segal didn't do anything creepy at the interview, probably

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Speaker 1: because her dad, Ray Charles Jr. Came to the interview,

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Speaker 1: which is a smart move as a dad if you

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Speaker 1: hear Steven Seagal wants to interview your kid. But he

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Speaker 1: did hire her on the spot, and a few weeks

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Speaker 1: later she was in Memphis with Seagal and his staff.

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Speaker 1: Segal held a meeting with everybody and then dismissed them

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Speaker 1: all so we could talk to Blair alone, which is

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Speaker 1: another Weinstein tactic. Yeah. At this point, yeah. At this point,

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Speaker 1: the focus of the meaning shifted from the logistics of

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Speaker 1: their current project to the art of Japanese massage. Segal

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Speaker 1: informed Blair that massaging him would be one of her

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Speaker 1: duties as his assistant, and since she didn't actually know

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Speaker 1: how to give massages, so Gal would of course have

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Speaker 1: to teach her. He started to demonstrate on her body,

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Speaker 1: but Blair fled the room and flew home to Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: Blair is a smart person. Good on you. Not that

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Speaker 1: obviously other people couldn't escape, and that's not because they're

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Speaker 1: not smart. Not not saying that. Just credit to Blair

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Speaker 1: for getting the funk out of there. Good on you.

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Speaker 1: I wish everyone else had been that fortunate the right

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Speaker 1: combination of assertiveness. Yeah, yeah, and that is a that

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Speaker 1: is a dark tale, as all of the allegations of

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Speaker 1: sexual assault and harassment against Seagal are. And we will

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Speaker 1: be washing a little bit of that out of your

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Speaker 1: tongues in a little bit because coming up very soon,

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Speaker 1: we're going to be listening to a selection from Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal's wonderful blues album, Songs from the Crystal Cave, which

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Speaker 1: I bet you didn't know as a blues album if

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Speaker 1: you listen to any of it, because it sounds it

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Speaker 1: is as close to the blues as I don't know.

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Speaker 1: You're really more that guy and more what guy, the

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Speaker 1: guy who right words things good? Do the words? Do

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Speaker 1: the words music in the form of words? Yes, Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. That's really working backwards from an artistic perspective,

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Speaker 1: it's like it's his songs expressed so much words can't say, like, like,

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Speaker 1: have you ever heard a forty minute fart? Put that

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Speaker 1: into words? Then try to describe that to someone if

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Speaker 1: you can't, but Steven Seagal can, and that is Songs

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Speaker 1: of the Crystal Cave. We'll be talking about that a

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Speaker 1: little in a little bit. But first some songs from

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Speaker 1: ads Dude, the Sweet Transition. I I'm really good at transitions,

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Speaker 1: that's my words. We're back and we're talking about Steven Seagal.

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Speaker 1: Um again. We are recording this in a home of

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Speaker 1: and and drinking lovely home and thank you for having me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's it's been quite a time. Um so uh.

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Speaker 1: Next to being Buddhist Lama and sexually allegedly sexually harassing teenagers,

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Speaker 1: Steven Seagal's music career was his major focus in the

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Speaker 1: early two thousands. Um so, it wasn't the top three

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Speaker 1: for sure. In two thousand and five, he released his

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Speaker 1: first album, Songs from the Crystal Cave I'd like to

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Speaker 1: read from its top of you on Amazon dot com.

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Speaker 1: Can wait. After a night of hitting the clubs, you

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Speaker 1: meet a girl head home with her things get heated,

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Speaker 1: Put the CD in you system, turn it on, and

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Speaker 1: you'll find that magic happens. And it also doubles as

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Speaker 1: a great white elephant exchange gift. I can't tell if

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Speaker 1: that one serious or not. It really it could go

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Speaker 1: either way. I mean it's a funny thing to give

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Speaker 1: as a white elephant. Yeah, like if you opened the

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Speaker 1: gift and it was a Steven Seagal album, you'd be like,

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Speaker 1: this is pretty funny. Yeah, yeah, you would. This would

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Speaker 1: be a good white elephant gift because you'd want to

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Speaker 1: have that. Look at the cover. It'll be on our

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Speaker 1: our website of Steven Seagal Songs from the Crystal Cave.

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Speaker 1: I can only describe it as it looks like an

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Speaker 1: album that Steven Seagal would right. Like, clearly he's in

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Speaker 1: a loincloth fighting a minute, are in the center of

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Speaker 1: an ice maze. He's what he is now of the time,

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Speaker 1: which is the stolen valor equivalent of a Native America. Um,

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Speaker 1: it's the only thing he dresses that that's a solid

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Speaker 1: burn equivalent of Native American. I love it, Steven Seagal, everybody.

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Speaker 1: My own opinion is more in line with the one

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Speaker 1: star reviews of his album that call it overproduced garbage.

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Speaker 1: That dude got that fucking stevens Agull album and he's

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Speaker 1: like genuinely earnestly reviewing it. It's it's hard to say,

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Speaker 1: it's really hard there. It doesn't, I will say in fairness,

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Speaker 1: it has four point one stars. It is possible that

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Speaker 1: a lot of people enjoyed this album. Sure, I would

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Speaker 1: say many of the songs on it, were you two

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Speaker 1: walk through a store where they were playing, you would

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Speaker 1: not notice you. You would just could. Yeah, it would,

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Speaker 1: just it would. It would. It's boring enough that it

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Speaker 1: would would pass under your mind. You know. It's not

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Speaker 1: a sensational a failure as you like hope. It's it's

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Speaker 1: not like it's not like a Sean or not Sean

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Speaker 1: Connary of Captain Kirk, the William Shatner. It's not like

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Speaker 1: William Shatner singing Rocketman, where it's like everyone has to

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Speaker 1: hear this. He's like artistically going for it, like there's

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Speaker 1: a charm in that level of like, yeah, total commitment

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Speaker 1: and and that I would say is absent from Steven

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Speaker 1: Seagal's music, although you may form a different opinion. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would. I would call it forgettable. But two thousand

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Speaker 1: five is the year that Steven Seagal started touring with

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Speaker 1: the Steven Seagal Blues Band uh which is a creative

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Speaker 1: name for a blues Banderah, and two thousand six, Big

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Speaker 1: City Blues Magazine put Steven Seagal on their cover. You

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Speaker 1: can see the picture of it here. He's sitting with

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Speaker 1: a group of blues legends. Apparently I have to trust

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Speaker 1: other people who have read about them that they're blues legends.

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Speaker 1: I don't know much about blues, nothing against blues, wonderful

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Speaker 1: art form um. It does seem from the reviews I've

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Speaker 1: read that the other people in his band are really talented,

419
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,479
Speaker 1: legitimate bus blues musicians, and the subtext is that Segal

420
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 1: is paying them all very well, because being a great

421
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: blues musician does not pay the bills. But also, I mean, like, say,

422
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: you're just some blues dude, and like you got your

423
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: own little bubble where you're kind of cool. But like

424
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal is an internationally known movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

425
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 1: I think most people would be excited to meet. Assuming

426
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: you hadn't listened to the part one of this podcast,

427
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: you'd be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you made like

428
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 1: four really good movies and terrible ones. It's exciting to

429
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 1: meet you. You're kind of famous. Take a picture with us,

430
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I'll go tour with you. Steven Seagal, one

431
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: of these musicians, said, in an interview with The Washington Post,

432
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 1: quote I told him to have to play these grungy

433
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,160
Speaker 1: clubs and some real dives where real blues musicians would play,

434
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: and he said, let's do it. He's focused on making

435
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: it as a musician. He's paying his dues, just like

436
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 1: everybody else. Unlike everybody else, however, Seagal traveled to different

437
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 1: cities via charter jets and stayed only in luxury hotels. Uh,

438
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: which is probably has the blues. Spending nineteen hundred dollars

439
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: a night in a hotel, staying at the fucking w

440
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 1: that's the blues. How many? How many great blues albums

441
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: have been written about the Waldorf Historia seriously countless. Sometimes

442
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 1: the bar closes like at one thirty. Well, you're like

443
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 1: your flight was late, and you're like, I didn't even

444
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 1: have time to get my seventh drink. Yeah, I got

445
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 1: the blues. Heartbreaking, And then you gotta go to the

446
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 1: mini bar and you gotta pay way too much for

447
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 1: a very small bottle of wine. The blues, everybody the blues,

448
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: We understand it. So to Steven Seagal um so in

449
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: that Washington Post interview, Segal claimed to have been studying

450
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: the blues since his childhood. Studying the blues. Yes, what

451
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: does that mean it means learning about pain, Sean, learning

452
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 1: about the true pain of an artist, of a blues

453
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: artist spies like you didn't want to like I don't

454
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: want to learn about this stupid blues like hitting the books,

455
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: all these fucking blues musicians. I've only made it through

456
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 1: Blues two o two. I never quite got my bachelors

457
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 1: and blues. Uh. He claims to have learned from the

458
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: lapse of great but Unknown, which is really fortunate for

459
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 1: him Mississippi Delta blues men who had moved north to

460
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 1: work in the steel mills. Just nine year old Steven

461
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 1: Seagal and like well, and also the fact that he's

462
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 1: talking about steel mills and he lived in Fullerton, California,

463
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: from the age of five on. Not a lot of

464
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:17,160
Speaker 1: steel mills near Fullerton, capital steel mills, Capital blues. Fulish, Well,

465
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 1: that's the blue city. It's not like the anywhere on

466
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 1: the East Coast. No, it's it's it's Fullerton, California, capital

467
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: of the blues. Now, Sean, I'm not an expert on

468
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: the blues, as the three blues experts listening to this

469
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: podcast will surely attest you. But listening to Steven Seagal's

470
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 1: music does not make me think he is a blues musician.

471
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 1: I would agree as another non expert. I'm gonna play

472
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: a selection from the best song on his album Strut

473
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: and what do you mean my best? I mean the best?

474
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, I mean this song is a

475
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 1: work of art. So so we're gonna, we're gonna we're

476
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: gonna play a selection from Strut and dance along. You

477
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 1: can decide for yourself if Steven Seagal is a real,

478
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:10,120
Speaker 1: authentic blues musician. All right here it is, Mr sevil

479
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: sign want said for me at the sock I have

480
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: gone to on the rack you're wanting for if you

481
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: make me feel nice? Why you tell me what you

482
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:33,719
Speaker 1: really bore all night? No supermitment wander wander, I mean

483
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 1: the way nice ship. You can look at that, but

484
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 1: you shouldn't do that. Just so, does that sound like

485
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,239
Speaker 1: the BLUs Dude? I don't know what the funk that was?

486
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: Nobody does that's the club jam. I know he wants

487
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 1: the Punani tonight? Is that really what he said he wants?

488
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,160
Speaker 1: That was something like that? And he also says when

489
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 1: the girls strut, you want to look at their butts,

490
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 1: but you shouldn't do that, which is advice he legitimately

491
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: should have taken. Yeah, Steven Seagal and Steven Seagal are

492
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 1: songs from the Crystal Cave, which, by the way, the

493
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 1: album cover art is is the middle bisecting the frame

494
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: is the center of Segal's guitar, with his face on

495
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 1: one side and his hand on another, and an enormous

496
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: turquoise ring. Of course, with the turquoise ring, is that

497
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: his pinky? You're goddamn right, it's his pinky. Should I

498
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: should also note if you look at he still plays

499
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,880
Speaker 1: the blues, and if you look at modern pictures from

500
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 1: his concerts, Steven Seagal is wearing a kefia and every

501
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: single one of them, which, of course, why not, why

502
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 1: not Steven Seagal. He's gonna get that punani tonight, Steven Seagal,

503
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 1: I apologize for that particular accident I did. That was

504
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: my Steven Seagal's reggae blues thing about making an offensive joke. Nearest,

505
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal, all song is that. Nothing you can say

506
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: on him, because that is a nightmare. Uh. It's I

507
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 1: like being in the room with with the reggae performers

508
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 1: and not having a question about like, guys, am I

509
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: allowed to say this boy line like this is gonna

510
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: come off as weird or you're paying to be here,

511
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: so you say whatever you like. No, Stephen joint us

512
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: to really like play up the Jamaican accents. Yea, yeah,

513
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 1: go read real Jamaican heresture of sigal play. Oh my god,

514
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: let me describe this. He's got just the sweetest orange guitar.

515
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 1: He's got a do rag his his shooter glasses, like

516
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 1: he just came from the fucking gun range, just like

517
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,719
Speaker 1: like a go tee that looks like it wasn't painted

518
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 1: on but thrown on by like but like a boomerang

519
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 1: hunter from four yards away and just fucking slapped onto

520
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: his face. I think he's I think that's a yellow scarf,

521
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 1: not an ascot. No, that's a Kifia, sir. That yeah,

522
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 1: that that is definitely a kifist. I'm being told as

523
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: easy three seven Steve has he never met a culture

524
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: he will not appropriate. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, it's it's

525
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 1: a work of art. It's like someone made the first

526
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: random choice on the creative character and like that's just

527
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 1: fucking what He's stuck with his regular real life. He's like,

528
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,000
Speaker 1: that's a sarcastic creator wrestler in a cut scene. Is

529
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: what the funk we're looking at? That's a good way

530
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: to describe Steven Seagal in the modern era. Uh So,

531
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: now that he's been a blues musician, a Buddhist lama

532
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: and reincarnation, a seventeenth century priest, repeated alleged sexual offender.

533
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: Uh and of course an action star c I a agent,

534
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 1: Navy seal, Navy seal, a great Aketo master as well. Obviously,

535
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: after all of that, I bet you're thinking, the only

536
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 1: thing Steven Seagal hasn't done is be given in a

537
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 1: position of authority where he's allowed to carry around a

538
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 1: gun and has the legal sanction to use violent force

539
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: and absolutely give that to him, license to kill all

540
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 1: the way if anyone deserves it, it's this guy. Well,

541
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: good news. In two thousand seven, Steven Seagal revealed that

542
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: he had been secretly spending the last two decades working

543
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 1: as a reserve deputy officer for the Jefferson Paris, Louisiana

544
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: Sheriff's Department. Yeah, I remember this reality show. You remember

545
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: when he revealed he secretly spent twenty years as a cop. Yeah,

546
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 1: I'm Steven Seagale. They think I'm a beach ball the

547
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 1: napkin on the top of my head. We really cut

548
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: a lot of beach crime when Steven Seagale joined the force,

549
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: because I do remember the premise of that reality show

550
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 1: was that he just did this all the time, like

551
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: unrelated to his other stuff. He was like, yeah, this

552
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: is also a Louisiana sheriff. And I remember on the

553
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: show he would he would appropriate a lot of black culture,

554
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 1: like if he was meeting like my family, to be

555
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 1: like hey, y ware to mama, and you'd be like,

556
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 1: what what this thing? You used the most offensive fake

557
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: accents imaginable. He also did it as a blues musician.

558
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 1: He actually wrote a Cracked article about this about Steven

559
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 1: Seagal's crime vision, and then the show this happened where

560
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: he would like stare out the window with his like

561
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 1: squinty Steven Seagal eyes and then it would go all

562
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: white to sort of imply that Steven Seagal has some

563
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: sort of like fundamental senses that could could tell when

564
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: crime was near and and so I called that the

565
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 1: crime vision. And my theory was that that near near him,

566
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 1: five to six miles away, a baby would be turned

567
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 1: into a husk and the parents would never know what

568
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: caused it. But it was Steven Seagal's crime vision. Because

569
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: that power has to come from where they have all

570
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: of the the editing capacity of a reality. They can

571
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: create any reality they want. And that show made it

572
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 1: very clear that Steven Seagal's crime fighting techniques were to

573
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 1: drive around until he saw black people and stare at

574
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: them and if they were in a way, you found

575
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: yourself a crime. That was like fucking every episode. I

576
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: don't know if you can still find it, but that's real.

577
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: And I experienced, oh my god, is it ever fucking real?

578
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: And the l a times, God bless them, did some

579
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: digging and to just how true it was that Steven

580
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: Seagal had spent decades working as a police officer, which

581
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 1: I mean there are uses I can imagine for him,

582
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: like if you knew a crime was going to occur

583
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: in a aged leather bag, if you had a hole

584
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 1: in the damn Stephen standing against this hole in the damn,

585
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: you go it is averted. Someone's gonna steal a lot

586
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:43,240
Speaker 1: of leather jackets, put them all on at once. Stephen God,

587
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: He's picking of for all the leather jackets. Steven Seagal

588
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 1: okay Um. So the l A Times did some digging

589
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: into whether or not Steven Seagal had actually worked for

590
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 1: twenty years as the sheriff's deputy. Uh, and whether or

591
00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: not qualifications don't spoil it. But I think probably didn't.

592
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: It's actually kind of impossible to tell. The l A Times. Yeah,

593
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 1: says The l A Times quote Seagal saying that it

594
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 1: started twenty years ago when Segal was shooting shooting a movie.

595
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 1: Then Sheriff Harry Lee asked him to teach some of

596
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 1: his officers martial arts. He was so pleased at what

597
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 1: I was doing that he asked me to come out

598
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: of the force and be one of his cops. Um,

599
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 1: maybe you've got good hand to hand combat. That's mostly

600
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: what we do with police. Mostly what we do a

601
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: lot of karate. You know. The sad thing is that

602
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 1: would be a lot better than the current situation if

603
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 1: that were the problem. Cops keep karate chopping people. It's whimsical,

604
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 1: but it's annoying. Black youth mildly inconvenience by police karate

605
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: chop what a better world that would be. I'm saying,

606
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: maybe Steven Seagal should have been the president of police.

607
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know who heads our police nationwide.

608
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: You're sort of doctor mayor of police. There we go

609
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 1: because the mayor is always on their ass. That makes sense,

610
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: That makes sense. Yeah, um So. Segal claims that he

611
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: worked major cases during this period, although his involvement was

612
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 1: officially under the radar for most people. It seems more

613
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 1: likely that it most he spent one or two weekends

614
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: a month or a year, uh, doing some volunteer policing work. Yeah.

615
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,919
Speaker 1: When the latter day sheriff was interviewed, he basically said

616
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal was grandfathered in, so he had been working

617
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 1: with the force for a while, but he seemed frustrated

618
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 1: that he couldn't get rid of him. Keep showing up.

619
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 1: He's here. We were told we can't get rid of him.

620
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 1: Um Now. Sigal claims that he attended a police academy

621
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,880
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles and received a certificate from the Peace

622
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: Officers Standards in Training organization. Neither the City of Los

623
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 1: Angeles nor Post has any record of Segal being certified

624
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 1: in anything His rank was described by the l A

625
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:52,479
Speaker 1: Times as purely ceremonial, which seems truer than him ever

626
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: having any kind of training. It seems like it would

627
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 1: have come up earlier, right like during his Navy Seals

628
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: training and during his Navy Seals days when he did

629
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 1: learned how to read a map. All of us have

630
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: like such obvious gaps in the paper trail, like if

631
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,840
Speaker 1: you if you got certified, that implies a certificate somewhere. Yeah,

632
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:14,720
Speaker 1: and the l A Times found fucking nothing from anybody.

633
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't he show it to you? Like, yeah, that's

634
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: a big deal. But here's the cops certification that I

635
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: don't have that but you can look up on Oh

636
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 1: you did because your journalists wasn't a cop. But you

637
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: can believe all the other crazy ship I said. Uh so.

638
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: Sogal insists that his time in law enforcement was purely

639
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 1: a public service. That's what he kept it secret until

640
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 1: November of two thou eight, when he decided what does

641
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 1: that mean? He decided sean in November eight that the police,

642
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: the brave men and women of the Jefferson Paris, Louisiana

643
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 1: Sheriff's Department, needed recognition and That's why he launched the

644
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: reality television series Steven Seagal law Man. I know you've

645
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: seen it, and I'm learning that now, but I'm gonna

646
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: play a little bit of the intro for those of you,

647
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 1: those of you in our in our home, non studio audience,

648
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: sitting in your car at the gym, fist fighting an

649
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: awful lot. Here's Steven Seagal law Man. I make a

650
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,240
Speaker 1: living in the movies, but for the past twenty years,

651
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: I've also been a cop, and along with some of

652
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 1: the finest deputs on the falls, I served the people

653
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 1: in Jefferson, Paris, Louisianna. My name is Student Seagale Andrews.

654
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 1: That's right, Stephen Seagal, Deputy shown Stephen Seagal law Man. Everybody,

655
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: some of the funnest deputies like Jebby Racist number one

656
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 1: and Jebby Racist number three. I forgot to mention Jebby

657
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 1: Racist number two, and then of course heavy Set Racist,

658
00:37:55,960 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 1: the greatest of them all, finest man. We we'd like

659
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: to apologize to a major demographic for this podcast, the

660
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: Jefferson Paris who we see in a sheriff's department critical listeners,

661
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 1: and we really do appreciate y'all. Please keep buying the

662
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:15,760
Speaker 1: T shirts Jefferson Paris. Keep getting that, as Steven Seagal

663
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 1: would want you to know. Now, I know what you're

664
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 1: all thinking. Having listened to Steven Seagal law Man's intro.

665
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 1: Is there any way that allowing an alleged serial sexual

666
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:31,760
Speaker 1: predator to work as a law enforcement officer might go terribly, terribly,

667
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: terribly wrong? Is there any possible? I know it's a

668
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: long shot, Sean, but is it possible? Can we imagine it?

669
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 1: Can we conceive of it? I'm not in charge of anything,

670
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 1: but I'd say don't do it. When I said we're

671
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:56,280
Speaker 1: gonna talk about human trafficking, I shouldn't. The laugh is inappropriate. Uh,

672
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: It's just it's shocking how bad of a person he is,

673
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: and that this you would you would think that we

674
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 1: had heard the worst of Steven Seagal at this point

675
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: because he's too old to move right and and and

676
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 1: it keeps on coming. Uh So, according to CBS News,

677
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal law Man, uh had a very successful premiere. Um,

678
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 1: you know, it was Andy's most successful premiere in history

679
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 1: actually at the time. Yeah, I did well. It was

680
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,800
Speaker 1: suspended in two thusnten though, because Steven Seagal was accused

681
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 1: of human trafficking, uh, specifically of keeping a sex slave

682
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 1: locked in his John Lafitte mansion. Um, which is you know,

683
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:37,360
Speaker 1: maybe he shouldn't have a badge. It just seems like

684
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 1: it was a bad idea, you guys keeping sex slaves. Uh,

685
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 1: give me a call if anyone steals anything. So we're

686
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 1: gonna get into that, uh, and we're going to get

687
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 1: into Steven Seagal's long and storied friendship with dictators. But

688
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: first it's time for some ads for some things that

689
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: are not Steven Seagal law man, but I wish they were.

690
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: I apologize to our sponsors. You're far better than Steven

691
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: Seagale law man, as are we all, and we're back.

692
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: Would you say something, Sean? Yeah, I did my basic

693
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 1: underwater demolition systems training in Steven Sall's bathtub. We you know,

694
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 1: the ends out in the water and screamed for a

695
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 1: few minutes called the good Oh boy. You know, Jesse

696
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 1: Ventura was a Navy seal unlike Steven sic and a governor,

697
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: and a governor slandered by the sniper Chris Kyle for real. Yeah, yeah,

698
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 1: Chris Kyle claimed that he beat him up in a

699
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 1: bar because for whatever reason he said, Jesse Ventura said

700
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 1: he hoped that Navy seals died in Iraq or someplace,

701
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: and I don't like weird in the fist fight against

702
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: Jesse Ventura. Well, there was no fight. It was just

703
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: a lie. Oh yeah yeah, no, just Eventura sued him

704
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 1: or like sued eventually sued his wife because like he

705
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: was dead by that point. Christ, Well that's the beef

706
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: when you go after the the wave in Churi explains

707
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 1: that he was suing the guy and then he died

708
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 1: and the lawsuit, Like that's just what happens. Yeah, I

709
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,439
Speaker 1: don't know. Don't take that money, Jesse. It does seem

710
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 1: like Jesse the body Ventura was wrong. Yeah. I think

711
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: he won too. I mean he's dead and he was lying.

712
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 1: Jesse was lying at no, No, that sniper. They never

713
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: had a fight. Why would you, Jesse even sure, like

714
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 1: of all the things, he's not going to say he

715
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 1: wishes Navy seals go die, Like it would be a

716
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 1: strange thing. It would be a strange thing for him

717
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 1: to be super weird to like pick a fight with him. Yeah,

718
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: probably walking around two seventy. Yeah, and like like he

719
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 1: knows what he's doing. Well, I mean, now he's like

720
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,439
Speaker 1: an elderly man. Yeah, but if he still gets hold

721
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 1: of you and you're just a normal sized dude, I

722
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 1: mean yeah, I mean half he does seem like a

723
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 1: dangerous man, although he does go by the mind. Fincher

724
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 1: And now I think the mind, well, because he's he's

725
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 1: his body's faded, but his mind sharp. He is like

726
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 1: seventy something. Yeah, I mean he's in great shape for

727
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 1: a seventy year old. I'm gonna go by the flopping

728
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: dog speaking of flopping dongs, speaking of flopping dons. Yeah, no, no,

729
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,720
Speaker 1: we were talking about Steven Seagal. We're talking about Steven Seagal,

730
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: and we're talking about Steven Seagal. Lawman um Now, well,

731
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 1: the like, like I said, Steven Seagal got accused of

732
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: keeping a woman as a sex slave in his mansion

733
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:32,959
Speaker 1: in rural Louisiana. Strongly against mansions keeping a sex slave.

734
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, I have this. This show is generally

735
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:40,720
Speaker 1: pretty anti sex life. According to CBS News, Kay didn't

736
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 1: when twenty three saw an ad for an executive assistant

737
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,800
Speaker 1: job with Seagal's production company on greg'slist. She answered it,

738
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,760
Speaker 1: and days later was on his private jet, which her starts,

739
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 1: sounds way better than any Craigslist story goes, but then

740
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 1: it immediately descends into what we're all scared of when

741
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 1: we think about Craigslist. Uh. Yeah, she was flown to

742
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 1: New Orleans and then they drove to Seagal's house hours

743
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 1: away in a rural area with no neighbors close by.

744
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 1: It was at this point that Win learned that the

745
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: job she was expected to perform had nothing to do

746
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: with being an executive assistant. On Win's first uh, first night,

747
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 1: Segal told her that she would be required to give

748
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 1: him massages, which, again, this is all very familiar. This

749
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:26,399
Speaker 1: is exactly what he said to other people. Um. Then,

750
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 1: according to the suit, he proceeded to treating Miss Wynn

751
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: as his sex toy. Nwin claims that she was sexually

752
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,880
Speaker 1: assaulted three times in a five day period by Steven Seagal.

753
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: She also claims that Seagal kept two young Russian attendants

754
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: on staff who were available for his sexual needs twenty

755
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 1: four hours a day, seven days a week. I'm going

756
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 1: to read a selection from the lawsuit. Once in Mr

757
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,399
Speaker 1: Seagal's bedroom, Sasha began massaging Mr Seagal's back as Miss

758
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: Wynn massaged his legs. After approximately seventy minutes, Mr Seagal

759
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 1: abruptly ordered Sasha to leave. As soon as Sasha exited

760
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 1: the bedroom, and before she could escape, Mr Seagal began

761
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 1: a vicious sexual attack on Miss Nun. Mr Seagal held

762
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:06,880
Speaker 1: her right foot down with his leg and pushed his

763
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 1: left knee up with his right hand. Mr Gal then

764
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 1: forced his hand into Miss Win's vagina as Miss Wynn

765
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 1: began sobbing. Mr Seagal became sexually aroused and had a

766
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 1: unique physiological reaction to sexual arousal. Miss Wynn canon will

767
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: describe in great detail Mr Seagal's unique physiological reaction to

768
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 1: sexual arousal. Other females who have been present when Mr

769
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 1: Seagal has become sexually aroused will be able to verify

770
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 1: the truthfulness of Miss Wynn's factual knowledge about the characteristics

771
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 1: of Mr Seagal's physiological reactions. God, that is the best

772
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: case scenario. Read really trying to inject some lightheartedness into

773
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: this nightmare of a story. Well, you're also saying the

774
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 1: best case scenario, Like I really I can't even imagine

775
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 1: what it would be if I haven't heard any sort

776
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,720
Speaker 1: of confirmation about what it might be. Um. Mr Seagal

777
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 1: or Miss Nunn claims that Mr Seagal then ordered her

778
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 1: to take some oval shaped pills before he left his room. Um.

779
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 1: He told her that he had illegally procured the pills

780
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:06,319
Speaker 1: from Tibet. She believe she would He wouldn't let her

781
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: leave until she took them, so she took them. Um.

782
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 1: She says she was held against her will for almost

783
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 1: a full week. When she finally escapes, She claims to

784
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 1: goal chased after her with a flashlight with a gun

785
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 1: attached to it, which seems like a scene from one

786
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 1: of his movies, but with him as the bad guy.

787
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 1: But I mean, like his top speed's gotta be like

788
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: one and a half mile an she got away, Yeah,

789
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: she did get away, like h okay, So now, um,

790
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: I still got with the girl who was on the

791
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 1: Burning Man crew with with a guy who ran um

792
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 1: kink dot com. And this dude lives in in in Yeah,

793
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 1: it's a gigantic castle in San Francisco that he owned. Yeah,

794
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 1: there's people who work there who are like straight up

795
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 1: sex slaves. Like, that's whatever their fetishes, that's their job,

796
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: that's their day job. You don't need to go on

797
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,360
Speaker 1: Craigslist and say like, hey, I want an executive assistant.

798
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 1: You can just go on Listen and say I want

799
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 1: a sex slave. And theoretically there's people out there willing

800
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: to take that job. Theoretically, Steven Seagal could pay someone

801
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:10,840
Speaker 1: to do this job, but then it wouldn't be a

802
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 1: power thing. I gotta think that's what it is. Like,

803
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 1: It's not just that he wants a sex slave. It's

804
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 1: like he literally wants it only works for him if

805
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 1: like that person is trying to escape. Yeah, maybe that's it.

806
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not of all the things I'm going

807
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: to try to do on this show, psychoanalyzing Stephen fucking

808
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 1: Seagal is not among them. Um So no One claims

809
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 1: that she did not call the police at any point

810
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 1: because she assumed that they would listen to Seagal. Her

811
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 1: lawyer explained, Mr. Segal is the police. She is in

812
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 1: a remote area of Jefferson, Paris. It is Parish, it

813
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: is in the middle of nowhere, and he is the police,

814
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 1: which does seem accurate. I think you would have trouble

815
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,879
Speaker 1: getting justice and that I mean, look at how hard

816
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 1: it is in an ideal court situation for a victim

817
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 1: to get justice. And then imagine you're in the woods

818
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:01,240
Speaker 1: and Steven Seagal as the police and you're like racist

819
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 1: number four. I'm a young Vietnamese woman and stevens Agal

820
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 1: as sexually assaulted me. Steven's agale. He taught me how

821
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:16,879
Speaker 1: the quality chop through through fourteen pieces of paper. Again,

822
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:22,879
Speaker 1: best case scenario, best case So shoot her on site. Yeah, yeah,

823
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: she's not eaten by gators in the parking lot. That

824
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 1: sheriff's department, what we seeing has really taken a hit today. Uh.

825
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: Seagal's lawyer obviously called the lawsuit absurd and alleged that

826
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 1: miss Wynn was an illegal drug user, which you might

827
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: note does not at all mitigate claims of sexual assault.

828
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 1: You can definitely use drugs and not be sexually so

829
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 1: many drugs and never been a part of any kind

830
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: of sexual assault. Yeah, a lot of my friends can

831
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 1: say the same thing. Yeah, not Steven. Not Steven Seagal's friends. Uh.

832
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 1: Now and Win did eventually drop the suit, but only

833
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: because she's settled out of court with the goal. It

834
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 1: seems likely she was paid for her silence, which you

835
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 1: can't blame her for. You take the money. Um, But

836
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 1: that's also kind of the same story we sawt with Leinstein,

837
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 1: where there's a lot of NBA's attached to that sort

838
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 1: of choice. Whatever. Man, Yeah, okay, our president just made

839
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 1: fun of the girl for someone some rich guy offers

840
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:25,399
Speaker 1: you five thousand dollars, like exactly, maybe you do that thing.

841
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: You can't blame your victim. Uh. So that lawsuit, however,

842
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 1: was the end of Seagull's career as a Louisiana peace officer.

843
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 1: So that's that's good, at least the storied career that was.

844
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 1: That was one bridge too far. According to Jefferson Parish

845
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 1: County Sheriff Newell Normand, Segal was facing an internal affairs

846
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 1: and affairs investigation immediately following the outcome of his lawsuit,

847
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: and he refused to return to Jefferson Parish, at which

848
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 1: time he was tendered his resignation. So Segal fled the

849
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 1: state rather than submit to an internal affairs investigation. It

850
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 1: was the end of his career as the Louisiana Sheriff's deputy,

851
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 1: but not however, the end of his career is a

852
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 1: dangerously unqualified police officer. I'm sure you're happy about that, Sean.

853
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 1: It does turn out that after having been accused of

854
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 1: sex trafficking while a uniformed deputy, quite the crime that's likes.

855
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 1: The thing is that they teach you that on day

856
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,719
Speaker 1: four and stuff like you call in sick, like you

857
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:34,399
Speaker 1: don't learn that, Hey, deputies don't take sex because you're

858
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: starting to get sick on day one. But you really

859
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: power through those first couple of days. You don't want

860
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 1: to miss the start before ye conflict. Which one makes

861
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 1: it stop? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, but you mixed the one

862
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: on not sex trafficking, Daisy mistake, easy mistake to make,

863
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal, and you can't catch up. Work comes too fast. No,

864
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 1: there's no getting the cliffs notes of that less Sheriff's department.

865
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 1: Of course, it's great because I don't think he ever

866
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 1: had any training, But the fact that now he's not

867
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 1: a real Louisiana sheriff's deputy becomes significant. So what about

868
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 1: the tough streets of northern California. Well, no, that doesn't

869
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 1: count as police training in Louisiana, it says not wrest

870
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 1: legator what are you gonna do? I mean, uh, I'm

871
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 1: gonna make an I'm guessing ride the former shriff. That

872
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 1: seems like what happened. Um, So this was not the

873
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 1: end of Seagull's career as a police officer, as we

874
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 1: already stated. It turns out that, yeah, after having been

875
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 1: accused of all of these crimes, there were still exactly

876
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 1: two organizations willing to support Stephen's dream of carrying a

877
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 1: gun while feeling important any of course, Great Channel any uh,

878
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 1: and the Maricopa County Sheriff's office in Arizona. If you

879
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 1: were going to guess the Sheriff's office, it would be

880
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 1: Joe fucking our pile this. Yeah. So in two thousand

881
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 1: and eleven, Steven Seagal wound up driving a tank into

882
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: a man's home. Yeah, well he was in Arizona Sheriff's deputy.

883
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. That's what I would do when

884
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 1: I was in the veterans listening will Yeah, I mean

885
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 1: it's a it was an armored personnel carrier. I think

886
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 1: it was like a bearcat or something like that, didn't

887
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 1: have like a gun on it. I mean I think

888
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 1: it might have had a gun on it. But didn't

889
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 1: have like a turret, you know, not a battle tank.

890
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 1: It's meant to carry people. But it was an armored vehicle.

891
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:33,640
Speaker 1: It was an armored vehicle with a gun on it.

892
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 1: Possibly probably probably treads or wheels. I think treads, Yeah,

893
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 1: they do think treads. Tank. It's been described. It's usually

894
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 1: described as a tank. Alright, alright, alright, alright, other people

895
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: are gonna yell at me on Twitter, and it's your fault,

896
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 1: Sean um. So, Steven Seagal had partnered with Sheriff Joe

897
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:56,280
Speaker 1: Apios Posse to arrest a suspected cock fighting host. Segal

898
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:59,279
Speaker 1: has advocated regularly on behalf of PEDA for years and

899
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: as a strong animal rights activist, so it makes sense

900
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 1: that he'd consider animal cruelty a crime worthy of having

901
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:07,399
Speaker 1: a small army dispatch to stop it. What makes less

902
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 1: sense is what happened next. I'm going to quote from

903
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 1: an ABC seven article written about the charges the subject

904
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:16,239
Speaker 1: of that raid, Jesus Lavera, levied against Segal in the

905
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:21,839
Speaker 1: Maricopa County Sheriff's Department. Quote. Lavera denies that cock fighting

906
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 1: occurred on his property and says that he raised roosters

907
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,239
Speaker 1: for show. He says that one hundred of them are

908
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,879
Speaker 1: killed during the raid, and that authorities used two armored

909
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,200
Speaker 1: trucks in the tank to smash through a gate into

910
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 1: his yard, and that at least thirty SWAT personnel dressed

911
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 1: in riot gear and armed with handguns arrivals rushed his home.

912
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 1: Lavera said he was unarmed. Lavera said Segal distracted his

913
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,320
Speaker 1: chickens by deploying explosives and then commentated to Sheriff's office

914
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 1: tank and crashed through an iron gate on his property.

915
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: So Lavera also alleges that his puppy was shot dead

916
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:54,279
Speaker 1: during Jesus So a hundred chickens and a puppy uh.

917
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:58,440
Speaker 1: Segal denized, no bullshit is exactly what I do. If

918
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 1: he gave me a tank in a badge, no, I

919
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 1: would drive straight onto some dude named Jesus property. Kill

920
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 1: all those chickens. It's show roosters. Fuck you Jesus. And

921
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:16,240
Speaker 1: this is again why cops shouldn't have tanks. I barely

922
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 1: agree the army should have tanks. I've known a couple

923
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:22,879
Speaker 1: of tankers. None of them have been people I trust

924
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 1: with tanks. Maybe no one should be trusted with tanks.

925
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,840
Speaker 1: I think my whole point is I know enough about

926
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 1: myself to self select away from a job that would

927
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 1: give me a tank. Yeah. Yeah, Steven Seagal put himself

928
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 1: right there, killed a hundred chickens and maybe a puppy. Allegedly,

929
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: he denies it. I grew up on a farm and

930
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: I've met some chickens, so I don't give a ship

931
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 1: some chickens. That chickens are miserable, Yeah, garbage monster. I

932
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 1: live with some chickens up in my last place in Arcada,

933
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: and they were always shooting on the floor. Yeah, they're

934
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 1: terrible animals. They have. We used to have a water

935
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 1: supply for chickens. It's sort of like an upset down

936
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 1: bucket with the trough that would sort of percolate into

937
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 1: the trough and the chicken with shit in it in

938
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 1: a way that like didn't make any sense. It implied

939
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 1: they either like slowly back their ass into their own

940
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 1: water supply where they were leaping over it and like

941
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:13,799
Speaker 1: acrobatically shitting with perfect timing, and so at a certain

942
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:16,879
Speaker 1: point you're just like, why go through so much trouble

943
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 1: the ship in your water supply unless you're just a

944
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:22,959
Speaker 1: garbage monster that shouldn't exist. So that's how I feel

945
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 1: about chickens. I want to hear about cock fighting, like

946
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:27,320
Speaker 1: all right, well, whatever what they were gonna do. Anyway,

947
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: speaking of which I watched, if I can still keep

948
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:33,359
Speaker 1: talking about chickens, my mother was attacked by a chicken.

949
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 1: One We had two roosters, and when you have two roosters,

950
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 1: they kind of go crazy because uh the other thing.

951
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,200
Speaker 1: Much like steavens are called, chickens are hardcore rapists. No

952
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 1: chicken has ever willingly given herself to the love making

953
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: process of a bird. So she'll be walking along like,

954
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: what's this in the ground, what's this in the ground,

955
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,279
Speaker 1: and the rooster will come up and like and like,

956
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: she'll freak the funk out for four seconds and then

957
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 1: the rooster will leave and he'll do that to her

958
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:56,759
Speaker 1: every single day. Chickens have a terrible life and they

959
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 1: all should be killed. But the point is, if you

960
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:01,440
Speaker 1: have two roosters, they go crazy. My mom goes out

961
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:04,439
Speaker 1: to COLLECTI mix and one of these roosters, driven mad

962
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: by dick competition, leaps at her face and she comes

963
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,439
Speaker 1: in and she's like, oh my god, the rooster trying

964
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,839
Speaker 1: to kill me. My Stepna Egg. He's like, nobody tries

965
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: to kill my wife. And so he takes he takes

966
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 1: a side arm out to the chicken. Cooper. I'm just

967
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,319
Speaker 1: a young child, you know what I mean. Like, I'm like, well,

968
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:22,800
Speaker 1: you're going shooting, that's weird. He usually takes me and

969
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 1: he fucking gets like his feet childer with the part

970
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 1: like execution style. He's so fucking pissed at this rooster

971
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 1: and he explodes a chicken just twenty ft from me, unprepared,

972
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what what is going on with this

973
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 1: entire world? And and I'm just saying, like, this is

974
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 1: an ordinary day in the life of a chicken farmer.

975
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:46,480
Speaker 1: No and chickens. I will also say in his sus

976
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:48,840
Speaker 1: is you know, defense or whatever. A hundred chickens is

977
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 1: not a weird number of chickens to have if you

978
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:54,760
Speaker 1: have chickens, right, But if they have more than one rooster,

979
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,439
Speaker 1: chances are he was making them fight. And it says

980
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 1: a hundred chickens. Now, I don't know. I don't know

981
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:04,359
Speaker 1: if the ABC seven reporters did that much background work.

982
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 1: I'm saying, hey, let's do a background on that fella. Well,

983
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 1: I'm gonna guess maybe Steven Seagale was right to drive

984
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 1: a tank on his property and just go fucking and

985
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,279
Speaker 1: shoot his puppy dogs. Okay, that part is like, dude

986
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:19,400
Speaker 1: in front of his kids, Steven Seagal, Well, dude, I

987
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,800
Speaker 1: was actually a little bit when I watched that chicken explode.

988
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 1: I was a little bit wrecked. If that was a

989
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 1: dog I saw, I'd be That would have been the

990
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 1: tenth time today I told that story because that would

991
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 1: have been all I think about. Yeah. No, those kids

992
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:36,200
Speaker 1: are haunted by darkness. There's some fucking dexter kids us

993
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,840
Speaker 1: seeing a puppy guy get shot by some cops or

994
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: Steven Seagale on clear which Steven Seagald denies all allegations.

995
00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 1: Uh clearly. So yeah, it's hard to say exactly what happened.

996
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 1: His Who's adds that when he was removed from the building,

997
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: he was immediately asked to sign a release us the

998
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 1: show use your Chicken House on TV? Can we use

999
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 1: this on TV? He did not sign the release. Good

1000
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:04,840
Speaker 1: this is not aired on television? Um it, but like

1001
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 1: blurred his face blur the chicken faces trampled by all

1002
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 1: but one of the chicken faces. There was one chicken one.

1003
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 1: He wants to be a star. He's trying to get

1004
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 1: a spot in the real world. Louisiana. Solvere's cock fighting

1005
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 1: charge was quickly dismissed, probably because it seems like the

1006
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:28,120
Speaker 1: police broke many laws. There's coming. There's a fucking low

1007
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 1: against driving a tank on a Sandy's house with like

1008
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 1: no problem cause the Quartering Act. Weirdly enough, it's a

1009
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 1: little corollary in there, but it's up in there. No

1010
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 1: no British soldiers in your home, No tanks through your gangs,

1011
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 1: your chicken coop. Nope, nope, not allowed, not allowed. Uh.

1012
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 1: Lavera was charged with possession of steroids, which I'm gonna

1013
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 1: guess is probably not what they deployed thirty SWAT officers

1014
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 1: and several armored peoples find was he ripped or do

1015
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 1: you have like some back painters. I think it might

1016
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: have been steroids for the animals. To be honest, it's

1017
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 1: not uncommon. You know. They founded like a small fridge

1018
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: near the chick guns or something like that. Who knows

1019
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 1: chicken breaths so pumped up wholl you're not gonna have good.

1020
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 1: He's like raising them for food and not to fight.

1021
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 1: Each other. This, This would further exam if they're birds

1022
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 1: legal birds? Yeah, boy, unless I guess, do you give

1023
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:23,680
Speaker 1: steroids to fighting cocks. I have never hosted cock fights. Uh.

1024
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 1: I was in a fight with the Turkey once, who

1025
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 1: was a gentleman's fight. Yeah, yeah, and we both won

1026
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 1: the gentleman. Yeah, differences were settled, were differences were settled.

1027
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 1: We came to an accord. It's a good time. Um so. Yeah,

1028
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:45,440
Speaker 1: the raid was never aired. Here's a picture of Steven

1029
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 1: Seagal in a fake uniform next to JR. Pio also

1030
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 1: wearing a fake uniform. He's in like marine digiKam and

1031
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 1: Joe R. Pio is in the Sheriff's office, but he

1032
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,520
Speaker 1: has four stars on his shoulders, as if he's George

1033
00:58:56,560 --> 00:59:03,919
Speaker 1: fucking Paton four star General Department. What is it about

1034
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 1: the worst people in history? And it's the goddamn Halloween costume. Yeah,

1035
00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 1: it's it's shockingly it's like two guys that got kicked

1036
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: out of a house party on Halloween for like fucking Yeah.

1037
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 1: One of the things that's funny about this. I was

1038
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:22,600
Speaker 1: in Ukraine for their first independence day after the Maidan Revolutions.

1039
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: This is while he is kind of like the Civil

1040
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:27,160
Speaker 1: War is really just starting to heat up, and they

1041
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:30,040
Speaker 1: had just opened up their military to like volunteers, so like,

1042
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 1: essentially it seemed like from what I could gather, if

1043
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 1: you put on a uniform, you were basically in the army,

1044
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 1: and they had and we did. As close the close

1045
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 1: we got to the front line, there were a lot

1046
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 1: of just like middle aged dudes who had a kalashnikov

1047
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 1: and throw on a thing. But they were like when

1048
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 1: we were in Kiva, far away from the fighting. It's

1049
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: just every man was in a uniform and there were

1050
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 1: a lot of very heavy set older men clearly trying

1051
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 1: to pick someone up by pretending they were going to

1052
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 1: go fight in the civil war, and like you just

1053
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 1: bought a uniform. That's how Steven Seagal looks in this picture.

1054
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I multifided war sexy. Although the actual Steven

1055
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 1: Seagal would never have sided with the Ukrainians against the

1056
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 1: Russian occupiers. I do know enough about Steve know he's

1057
01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: a very big fan of very big fan of Russia,

1058
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 1: very against the sovereignty of people who decide their own.

1059
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 1: The case against Lavera was eventually overturned or the case

1060
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 1: that Lavera filed against Seagal and the sheriff Department was

1061
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:32,439
Speaker 1: eventually dismissed by a judge after Lavera fired his lawyer

1062
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 1: and failed to show open court to pursue matters. Further,

1063
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: there was a controversy in Arizona over all of this

1064
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 1: because even though the opening to Steven Seagal Lawman said

1065
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 1: said Stephen was on loan from Jackson Parish, he had

1066
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 1: actually resigned and was therefore in the same Yeah, in

1067
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 1: shame for sex trafficking. It was no longer a law man,

1068
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 1: which means our Pio was not using a loan Louisiana

1069
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 1: Sheriff's deputy, but was just letting a random civilian dressed

1070
01:00:57,120 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 1: like a soldier leader criminal. Yeah, a fugitive sex criminal

1071
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:05,480
Speaker 1: who had run from an internal affairs investigation drive a tank,

1072
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:09,920
Speaker 1: wearing a uniform and armed with a gun. Joio his

1073
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: kind of guy. Jora Pio will for sure be an

1074
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:18,320
Speaker 1: episode of this show. Um. Steven Seagal Lawman only lasted

1075
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:22,200
Speaker 1: three seasons. But don't you dare, don't you fucking dare

1076
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:26,400
Speaker 1: Sean feel sorry for Steven Seagal. He has he has

1077
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 1: other priorities than his television career priorities, like his friendships

1078
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 1: with several of the world's most prominent dictators, drama, and

1079
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 1: he's got that widow's peak that like touches the bridge

1080
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 1: of his nose. Very unusual, very unusual. Most men don't

1081
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:46,840
Speaker 1: because the other direction. Yeah, yeah, was not Steven Seagal. Uh. So,

1082
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 1: let's start with Victor Lukashenko, the so called last dictator

1083
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,720
Speaker 1: in Europe and the leader of Belarus. Lukashenko is known

1084
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 1: for torturing and disappearing political rivals and letting his small

1085
01:01:56,920 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 1: child walk around with a golden handgun. Uh. He Segal

1086
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 1: met up back in two thousand and sixteen, and um,

1087
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 1: it's it's it's special. The dictator called him his dear friend,

1088
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: and Segal claimed to have Belarusian ancestry, which he's claimed

1089
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:14,760
Speaker 1: that about numerous nations around the world. He's quite a

1090
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 1: mixed classic Mongol Belarusian. At one point they stopped by

1091
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 1: to pick some fresh carrots, and then this happened. Sean,

1092
01:02:23,520 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 1: I I think I haven't seen the carrot. I'm not

1093
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:29,920
Speaker 1: going to show you the carrot picture. I am going

1094
01:02:29,960 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 1: to show you Steven Seagal eating a goddamn parrot. Carrot

1095
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 1: with a dictator. All right, here's this. So they're they're

1096
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 1: they're at a farm picking carrots, and uh, Lukashenko, the dictator,

1097
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 1: who had his last political rival for president imprisoned and tortured,

1098
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:50,960
Speaker 1: is shaving up a carrot and about to hand it

1099
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 1: to Stephen. He's going to town that carrot, really thinking

1100
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 1: about it. You, Yeah, you owe it to yourself to

1101
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:06,080
Speaker 1: watch Steven Seagal eat eat a carrot, because he eats

1102
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:09,920
Speaker 1: it exactly the way people don't eat carrots or anything contemplatively,

1103
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:14,520
Speaker 1: contemplatively eats a carrot handed to him by a dictator

1104
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:19,000
Speaker 1: while the dictator's son who was carrying a very heavy

1105
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:21,920
Speaker 1: golden handgun in that video because he always is why

1106
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:26,400
Speaker 1: not always is? Uh? It tells him it's healthy daughter

1107
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:28,800
Speaker 1: numb chucks, which I think is like a little cooler

1108
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 1: than a golden gun. I mean, I don't want to.

1109
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 1: Nikolai Lukashenko wouldn't agree. How many times did your daughter

1110
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 1: met Hugo Hugo Chavez? How many times she met that

1111
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:44,400
Speaker 1: Jesus guy that had all those dead chickens. You're just

1112
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:47,880
Speaker 1: doing the Steven Seagal lawman tour of the Southwest. Yeah,

1113
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:54,120
Speaker 1: like that every year visited the sight of Steven Seagal's

1114
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 1: greatest crimes. That's a long vacation. Oh my god, it's

1115
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:03,000
Speaker 1: about to get longer. Um. According to the Moscow Times,

1116
01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:05,680
Speaker 1: he was later handed a watermelon by Lukashenko's son, but

1117
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 1: was not required to eat it on the spot. Belarusian losses,

1118
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 1: you may wait up to seven hours before eating watermelon.

1119
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:18,200
Speaker 1: Apologies to our Belarusian listeners. Why would you apologies? It's

1120
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 1: because there's no way this media is allowed there. They

1121
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: have a dictator. I'm so sorry for your plate solidarity

1122
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:29,800
Speaker 1: my friends. Um, So this gets into something that I

1123
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 1: think drives some people crazy, which is the weird ways

1124
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 1: in which all of the world's shittiest and most dangerous

1125
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 1: people are connected. Like, so far, we've we've done one

1126
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 1: episode that featured partly on Lukashenko, We've done one on

1127
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:42,560
Speaker 1: Alex Jones. We're definitely gonna cover Joe our Pile. He's

1128
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 1: already friends with all of these people and we're not

1129
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:47,880
Speaker 1: even through fucking Steven Seagal's dictator buddies. It's weird that

1130
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 1: terrible people have friends. I think this is like the

1131
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 1: root of a lot of conspiracy theories. But I think

1132
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,560
Speaker 1: it's kind of sensible if you just assumed that shitty

1133
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:57,120
Speaker 1: people like to hang out with other shitty people, Like

1134
01:04:57,920 --> 01:04:59,880
Speaker 1: who else he's going to hang out with Steven Seagal

1135
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,960
Speaker 1: but garbage, Like if you're talking about like your your

1136
01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:04,840
Speaker 1: date and you're like, how did date go, You're like,

1137
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:06,160
Speaker 1: oh god, I don't know if we have a lot

1138
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 1: in common, And then Steven seagaell is like, she tried

1139
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:10,400
Speaker 1: to get away, but I had already had my hands

1140
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 1: on her wrist and she tore her arm off, And

1141
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:16,920
Speaker 1: they're like cool, Whereas I think you or I might say, Stephen,

1142
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:20,440
Speaker 1: that's a terrible story. Stephen, that's horrible and also certainly

1143
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:23,240
Speaker 1: did not happen. It definitely didn't happen. You're a liar.

1144
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:25,840
Speaker 1: You are sweating just standing up to get the check.

1145
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:32,880
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal. Uh, Steven Seagal, we're on this subject. This

1146
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 1: has been the subject of the whole podcast. So it

1147
01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:37,480
Speaker 1: may not surprise you know that Steven Seagal is also

1148
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:40,720
Speaker 1: friends with Rudby Good tear tape. Yeah, yeah, the President

1149
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:43,000
Speaker 1: of the Philippines, who has had twenty people and counting

1150
01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 1: murdered by motorcycle bound death squads during one meeting. To

1151
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:50,600
Speaker 1: be fair, he said, only kill the rug users. Right, Well,

1152
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:54,240
Speaker 1: but you're gonna shoot people, You're gonna hit other people. Yeah, yeah,

1153
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 1: I understand the cost of murdering users. Wasn't one of

1154
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 1: his movies Collateral damage? It should have been on Schwarzenegger

1155
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:05,120
Speaker 1: might have done a colladdle damage. I mean that was

1156
01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:08,640
Speaker 1: an actual time cruise movie, right, collateral worth Jimmie Foxx, Yeah, yeah,

1157
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:12,120
Speaker 1: yeah with the taxi cap colladdle damage was Schwarzenegger. Oh

1158
01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:15,440
Speaker 1: and that that that New Zealand guy and now a

1159
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 1: guy that always plays Middle Eastern people. I can tell

1160
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:23,680
Speaker 1: you that Steven Seagal is a great friend to Rodery

1161
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:27,000
Speaker 1: good Do Tarry Tame. During their meeting, uh Segal told

1162
01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:29,120
Speaker 1: the almost dictator that he'd visited the country more than

1163
01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:34,680
Speaker 1: a hundred times, although he did not specify why. I'm

1164
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:37,960
Speaker 1: gonna guess creepy gross Steven Seagal sex. Yeah, yeah, that's

1165
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:40,680
Speaker 1: a dent what I'm going to guess, because he's Steven Seagal,

1166
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:44,200
Speaker 1: maybe zero times and he's just sucking lying. Maybe he's

1167
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:46,760
Speaker 1: just a gigantic liar because he's lied about every single

1168
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:49,480
Speaker 1: other thing. Maybe he mistook it for Hawaii. Oh yeah,

1169
01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 1: I've been there hundred times. Yeah. Um. So. Steven Seagal's

1170
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:57,960
Speaker 1: most lasting and most consequential friendship is with one of

1171
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:01,040
Speaker 1: the most powerful, endangerous men on the planet, Vladimir Putin.

1172
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:03,880
Speaker 1: The how behind this friendship started with a guy named

1173
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:07,120
Speaker 1: Bob van Runkel. Mr Van Rinkel lived in Moscow until

1174
01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 1: recently and ran the company Doors to Hollywood, which specialized

1175
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:13,000
Speaker 1: in taking famous people over to Russia. While Van Runkel

1176
01:07:13,080 --> 01:07:15,520
Speaker 1: denies any political motivation to his work, it really does

1177
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:17,760
Speaker 1: seem like his job was basically to make famous people

1178
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,760
Speaker 1: sympathetic to a number of Russian and Eastern oligarchic power

1179
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 1: brokers in order to push a very specific and particular

1180
01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:31,080
Speaker 1: political agenda in the United States towards Russia. He's basically

1181
01:07:31,160 --> 01:07:34,600
Speaker 1: bringing celebrities over to the East in order to make

1182
01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:39,600
Speaker 1: them like Russia and like Ukrainian oligarchs, and then they'll

1183
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:41,800
Speaker 1: talk nice about it. Okay, No, that seemed to be

1184
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:43,880
Speaker 1: kind of his goal. You know, he's been at parties

1185
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:45,800
Speaker 1: with Trump and stuff too. There's some there's some weird

1186
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:48,000
Speaker 1: connections there. I just found out about this guy that

1187
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:49,880
Speaker 1: wise I would have done a deeper dive into Van Wrinkel.

1188
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:52,160
Speaker 1: But he is the guy who apparently introduced Vladimir Putin

1189
01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:57,160
Speaker 1: and stevens Goal. He also, weirdly enough, he introduced Oleg Deripashka,

1190
01:07:57,240 --> 01:08:00,160
Speaker 1: who is um he's in a Ukrainian aluminium tycoon who

1191
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:03,040
Speaker 1: was Paul Manafort's entry into that part of the world.

1192
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:06,160
Speaker 1: He introduced Darra Poshka to Jim Carey for reasons that

1193
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:10,120
Speaker 1: are unclear to me so far. I'll be looking into that,

1194
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:13,080
Speaker 1: but I don't I don't like the sound of that

1195
01:08:13,160 --> 01:08:15,760
Speaker 1: at all. I don't like the sound of Jim Carrey.

1196
01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:18,759
Speaker 1: Jim Carey doesn't need to be meeting any Ukrainian oligarch.

1197
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:21,000
Speaker 1: Seems like if you had him alone in a room,

1198
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:24,960
Speaker 1: he might believe everything you said for Yeah. Yeah. He

1199
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,800
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like a guy who's who thinks when he

1200
01:08:27,880 --> 01:08:30,720
Speaker 1: hears something, he doesn't think maybe that's not true. Yeah that.

1201
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:33,639
Speaker 1: He seems like a nice guy, but does not seem

1202
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,439
Speaker 1: like he has a great deal of credibility in terms

1203
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:43,479
Speaker 1: of his ability to question. Yes. Uh, very curious about

1204
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,280
Speaker 1: that meeting. Yeah, very curious about that meeting. In two

1205
01:08:46,320 --> 01:08:49,840
Speaker 1: thou ten fan Runcle brought Steven Seagal to Russia. Quote.

1206
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:51,920
Speaker 1: I was hired to bring Steven Seagal to perform with

1207
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:54,800
Speaker 1: his band for another event with President Putin, so it

1208
01:08:54,880 --> 01:08:57,360
Speaker 1: was kind of responsible for that introduction, Stephen becoming best

1209
01:08:57,400 --> 01:09:00,200
Speaker 1: friends with him. So that's nice. That's beautiful and well

1210
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:04,080
Speaker 1: said to inn pr Um. I really hope Putin enjoyed, uh,

1211
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:10,280
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal's blues band. I bet he didn't. He doesn't

1212
01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:11,720
Speaker 1: have a ton of joy in his life. But also

1213
01:09:11,760 --> 01:09:16,080
Speaker 1: Steven Seagall's band, Fucking Sun, that song, it's pretty hot.

1214
01:09:16,479 --> 01:09:18,560
Speaker 1: I will say. One of the nice things about this

1215
01:09:18,640 --> 01:09:21,559
Speaker 1: whole tragic story is imagining these like these, like old

1216
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:24,559
Speaker 1: sad blues singers getting a free trip to Russia, like fun.

1217
01:09:24,680 --> 01:09:27,760
Speaker 1: At least you know, they probably had rough lives. They're not.

1218
01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:33,919
Speaker 1: They're not Steven Seagal. Good luck, guys. I hope Vladimir,

1219
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:39,040
Speaker 1: I hope you stay in blues. Well, we were saying

1220
01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:42,400
Speaker 1: about Punani right, there was no blues. We put on

1221
01:09:42,479 --> 01:09:46,280
Speaker 1: some Jamaican accent. It was a shameful time for all,

1222
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:50,200
Speaker 1: but we stayed in a nice hotel. I hope that

1223
01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:53,320
Speaker 1: that fields some good blues albums, like the sorrow of

1224
01:09:53,479 --> 01:09:57,200
Speaker 1: being having to work with Steven Seagal in Russia, just

1225
01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:02,000
Speaker 1: that we would seem like it might playing with Seagal blues, Yeah,

1226
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:05,680
Speaker 1: everyone can relate. Everyone's been in a band headed by

1227
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:10,599
Speaker 1: a lying rapist a keto master. That is a tale

1228
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:15,439
Speaker 1: as old as time, so uh. And an after party

1229
01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:17,839
Speaker 1: for the event where Seagal's band played for the president,

1230
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:20,920
Speaker 1: the actor met Putin personally. The two kept up a

1231
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,400
Speaker 1: friendship for years and bonded over their mutual love of

1232
01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:27,320
Speaker 1: martial arts, which I mean, obviously in a fight between

1233
01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:30,080
Speaker 1: the two, there's there's not even a question Vladimir Putin's

1234
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:33,599
Speaker 1: gonna tear him apart. But I definitely have Vladimir Putin

1235
01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:36,000
Speaker 1: that fight. He he seems like a dangerous man in

1236
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:39,080
Speaker 1: a number of ways. Uh, not to overstake his kid

1237
01:10:39,400 --> 01:10:42,400
Speaker 1: any but I also know that at least dabbles in judo,

1238
01:10:42,479 --> 01:10:44,639
Speaker 1: which beats a kido any day. Well. And it's also

1239
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:46,599
Speaker 1: like he just doesn't seem like the kind of guy

1240
01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:49,479
Speaker 1: to hesitate to hurt somebody, which is kind of the

1241
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:51,240
Speaker 1: key when you're trying to hurt somebody. And I think

1242
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:53,920
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal could get cowed by just like a harsh word,

1243
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:56,920
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, or a couple of mafia people when he's

1244
01:10:56,960 --> 01:11:02,320
Speaker 1: the only one in the room with a gun. Oh

1245
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:05,400
Speaker 1: boy uh. In two thousand and sixteen, Putin gave Segal

1246
01:11:05,479 --> 01:11:07,960
Speaker 1: a Russian passport and Russian citizenship, which is the kind

1247
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:09,640
Speaker 1: of thing you could do when you aren't accountable to

1248
01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:13,160
Speaker 1: the laws of your own nation. It's a sweet gig

1249
01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:17,200
Speaker 1: being a dictator. According to The Washington Post, Seagal once

1250
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:19,599
Speaker 1: referred to Putin as one of the greatest world leaders,

1251
01:11:19,640 --> 01:11:22,720
Speaker 1: if not the greatest world leader alive. Today, his geopolitical

1252
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:25,640
Speaker 1: bromance with Putin is only part of the attraction to

1253
01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:28,680
Speaker 1: the country. Then, Runkel estimated his career peaked there, but

1254
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:30,920
Speaker 1: he's not doing the thirty to sixty million dollar movies

1255
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,360
Speaker 1: he once was. Russia is a place to rebrand himself,

1256
01:11:33,880 --> 01:11:37,600
Speaker 1: and apparently Segal decided to rebrand himself as an international

1257
01:11:37,680 --> 01:11:42,280
Speaker 1: diplomat to dictators. Yeah, well, I mean this is natural,

1258
01:11:42,439 --> 01:11:46,080
Speaker 1: natural elevation. Uh, And he's in thirteen, Russia's deputy Prime

1259
01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:50,160
Speaker 1: Minister Dmitri rogozen Uh suggested to President Obama that Steven

1260
01:11:50,200 --> 01:11:52,800
Speaker 1: Seagal be given a special diplomatic status to help bridge

1261
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:55,120
Speaker 1: the hostile gap that had developed between the two nations.

1262
01:11:55,560 --> 01:12:00,640
Speaker 1: President Obama declined because he was an actual person who

1263
01:12:00,720 --> 01:12:05,240
Speaker 1: knows things. I can't believe this story doesn't go off

1264
01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:09,479
Speaker 1: in a President Obama direction. Oh oh, if only if

1265
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:12,960
Speaker 1: only um Putin did find a way around Obama. Since

1266
01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:15,519
Speaker 1: Segal was already a Russian citizen in two thousand eighteen,

1267
01:12:15,560 --> 01:12:18,719
Speaker 1: Putin just had him appointed a special diplomatic envoy for Russia.

1268
01:12:19,080 --> 01:12:22,920
Speaker 1: This means that Steven Seagal, alleged sexual harasser and serial rapist,

1269
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:26,439
Speaker 1: alleged serial rapist, is now in charge of improving Russo

1270
01:12:26,479 --> 01:12:31,280
Speaker 1: American relations do a great job so far. There's so

1271
01:12:31,479 --> 01:12:34,160
Speaker 1: much more to say about Steven Seagal, and we're their time.

1272
01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:37,479
Speaker 1: We could continue talking about Seagal for hours. He is

1273
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:40,400
Speaker 1: a truly remarkable piece of shit. But I'm afraid we

1274
01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:41,840
Speaker 1: have to draw the line at some point, and this

1275
01:12:41,960 --> 01:12:43,320
Speaker 1: is where I fixed it. I do want to tell

1276
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:47,160
Speaker 1: one little story about Judo Geane LaBelle. Tell me a

1277
01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:49,320
Speaker 1: little about Judo Geenan Leabell, because I understand this guy

1278
01:12:49,439 --> 01:12:53,439
Speaker 1: is a He's like, he's legit Judo guy. He uh

1279
01:12:54,080 --> 01:12:56,560
Speaker 1: you know, he was the trained rounda rowsie back in

1280
01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:58,600
Speaker 1: the day, and he did some like m m a

1281
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:00,200
Speaker 1: before that was like a thing like he had some

1282
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:02,320
Speaker 1: real fights against boxers where he would like, you know,

1283
01:13:02,439 --> 01:13:06,120
Speaker 1: take him down and choke him out. And I I

1284
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:09,240
Speaker 1: assume the story you're telling about him and Steven Seagal

1285
01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:12,360
Speaker 1: was Steven Seagal um talking to Geane Lell and I

1286
01:13:12,439 --> 01:13:13,919
Speaker 1: was like, I could get out of it any joked

1287
01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:18,160
Speaker 1: and Judo jeans like, well whatever, Pal, he said no, no, no,

1288
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:21,560
Speaker 1: And so he talked him into like putting him in

1289
01:13:21,560 --> 01:13:22,920
Speaker 1: a real choke hold, and he said he had a

1290
01:13:23,040 --> 01:13:25,599
Speaker 1: special move that could get him out of any choke. Yeah,

1291
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:28,720
Speaker 1: And here's what that fucking special move was. It was

1292
01:13:28,920 --> 01:13:32,720
Speaker 1: a cry chop to the dick, Like like that's the

1293
01:13:33,080 --> 01:13:35,479
Speaker 1: fucking make believe world Steven Seagal was living in that

1294
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:37,880
Speaker 1: he thought his he knew his secret to get out

1295
01:13:37,880 --> 01:13:40,240
Speaker 1: of a choke. And it was like the first move

1296
01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:43,600
Speaker 1: that fucking man invented when they started fighting was a

1297
01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:46,080
Speaker 1: hit to the thought. He invented the punch to the dick.

1298
01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:50,560
Speaker 1: So Jean LeBell chokes out Steven Seagal and Segal allegedly

1299
01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:55,360
Speaker 1: craps his pants and Seagal has denied this. Why you're

1300
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:57,679
Speaker 1: not gonna admit to that if you're a liar, you're

1301
01:13:57,720 --> 01:14:00,320
Speaker 1: not and LaBelle was even the classiest you could be

1302
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:01,960
Speaker 1: about saying another man. He was like, well, you know,

1303
01:14:02,080 --> 01:14:03,960
Speaker 1: it's not uncommon when a guy has choked out after

1304
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:06,320
Speaker 1: having a big meal. It might happen. He wasn't mean

1305
01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:09,920
Speaker 1: about it. I think stevenaga pants. I think it's we

1306
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:14,240
Speaker 1: got a chance of Steven his pants. So before we

1307
01:14:14,400 --> 01:14:18,120
Speaker 1: roll out here, Sean. I. When I started research for this,

1308
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,439
Speaker 1: I googled the name Steven Seagal, just typed it in

1309
01:14:20,439 --> 01:14:22,240
Speaker 1: and see what would turn up. You know, usually a

1310
01:14:22,280 --> 01:14:24,880
Speaker 1: fun place to start research. On the right hand side

1311
01:14:24,920 --> 01:14:26,960
Speaker 1: of the search results page, I was presented with three

1312
01:14:27,040 --> 01:14:29,639
Speaker 1: quotes from the actor in Luminary. I'd like to read

1313
01:14:29,680 --> 01:14:34,760
Speaker 1: those quotes now. Quote number one. I am hoping that

1314
01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:36,840
Speaker 1: I could be known as a great writer and actor

1315
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:44,120
Speaker 1: someday rather than as a sex symbol. Oh he did right.

1316
01:14:44,560 --> 01:14:46,240
Speaker 1: He did write a book recently, The Way of the

1317
01:14:46,280 --> 01:14:49,560
Speaker 1: Shadow Wolves, with someone else. We Will Will Will. That

1318
01:14:49,840 --> 01:14:51,960
Speaker 1: has to be another. There was just too much I

1319
01:14:52,000 --> 01:14:55,320
Speaker 1: couldn't cover it. It's about how Obama tried to conquer

1320
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:57,720
Speaker 1: the country. It's really like all of the Fox News

1321
01:14:57,800 --> 01:15:01,800
Speaker 1: talking points like filtered through Lex jones craziness into the

1322
01:15:02,120 --> 01:15:04,360
Speaker 1: mind of a very, very dumb man who doesn't care

1323
01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:06,760
Speaker 1: about the truth. Weird that he went hard right, because

1324
01:15:06,760 --> 01:15:07,920
Speaker 1: you would have guessed he would have been like a

1325
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:10,120
Speaker 1: looney left kind of guy. Think, yeah, what with like

1326
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:14,200
Speaker 1: the Buddhism and the spirituality stuff. But nope, he's all

1327
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:18,920
Speaker 1: in on Trump. Interesting. Interesting how that happens. Uh. Second quote,

1328
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:21,720
Speaker 1: I have made a lot of mistakes, but I've worked hard.

1329
01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:24,439
Speaker 1: I have no fear of death. More important, I don't

1330
01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:28,640
Speaker 1: fear life. You there's a lot of wisdom in that

1331
01:15:28,760 --> 01:15:33,080
Speaker 1: statement from Steven Seagal. Alright, dude, that's the most fucking

1332
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:37,240
Speaker 1: I'm trying to sound fucking wise. Bullshit. I didn't even

1333
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:40,160
Speaker 1: include this stuff like a dumb person trying to sound smart.

1334
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:42,400
Speaker 1: One of the through lines in this is his repeated

1335
01:15:42,400 --> 01:15:44,800
Speaker 1: attempts to get writing credits on movies he didn't write,

1336
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:46,880
Speaker 1: and being denied them by like the writers give the

1337
01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:49,920
Speaker 1: w g A being like, no, you didn't write this,

1338
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:52,559
Speaker 1: you don't get a writing credit. I should have all

1339
01:15:52,600 --> 01:15:55,240
Speaker 1: the funny lines, do what. I don't get a writer

1340
01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:57,519
Speaker 1: credit for that. He also said he'd rather be doing

1341
01:15:57,560 --> 01:16:00,439
Speaker 1: movies like sense and sensibility than under siege, something like that.

1342
01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:02,760
Speaker 1: Like that he wished, he wanted to pull people's heart strings.

1343
01:16:02,760 --> 01:16:05,680
Speaker 1: Good luck to you, buddy. He didn't, never did not

1344
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:07,960
Speaker 1: even he didn't even try one. He had the poll,

1345
01:16:08,040 --> 01:16:10,840
Speaker 1: he could have made it. Never attempt Claude man damn

1346
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:12,720
Speaker 1: did nowhere to run? That was sort of a and

1347
01:16:12,840 --> 01:16:16,080
Speaker 1: he did. J CVD was had some emotional beats, had

1348
01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:19,360
Speaker 1: some emotional beats. Um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

1349
01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:23,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna want one more quote. It doesn't work if

1350
01:16:23,439 --> 01:16:26,360
Speaker 1: the bad guys kill his mother's, uncle's friends, neighbor's pet dog.

1351
01:16:26,600 --> 01:16:28,680
Speaker 1: You've got to make the steaks high, which I think

1352
01:16:28,760 --> 01:16:32,680
Speaker 1: is fun because he almost certainly killed a guy's dock. Yeah. Absolutely,

1353
01:16:32,720 --> 01:16:36,000
Speaker 1: that guy killed seventy of the guys chickens in one minute.

1354
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:41,240
Speaker 1: Oh boy, Steven Seagal, that's all I have on Steven Seagal. Uh,

1355
01:16:42,160 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 1: I think that's plenty. That was more than enough. Real

1356
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:48,160
Speaker 1: piece of shit, Sean. Do you want to plug your

1357
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:50,800
Speaker 1: plugubles before we roll out here? You find me on

1358
01:16:50,920 --> 01:16:55,760
Speaker 1: crack dot com, you find on Twitter, but cacular moble devices. Yeah,

1359
01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 1: that's it. I'm around him. You can find me on Twitter,

1360
01:17:00,040 --> 01:17:02,800
Speaker 1: right I right again. You can find me on or

1361
01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:04,960
Speaker 1: you can find our website behind the pastors dot Com,

1362
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:08,320
Speaker 1: where there will be some very very sad pictures to

1363
01:17:08,360 --> 01:17:12,479
Speaker 1: Steven Seagal um really a profoundly depressing As well as

1364
01:17:12,479 --> 01:17:14,880
Speaker 1: all the sources for this article. You can also find

1365
01:17:14,960 --> 01:17:18,960
Speaker 1: us on Twitter and Instagram at Bastor's Pod and uh yeah,

1366
01:17:19,040 --> 01:17:20,720
Speaker 1: that's it. This is the end of the episode. I

1367
01:17:21,160 --> 01:17:24,760
Speaker 1: cannot imagine talking more about Steven Seagal. So we're done.

1368
01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:27,960
Speaker 1: We might run, we might watch it now we're talking.

1369
01:17:30,200 --> 01:17:30,240
Speaker 1: M